No More
by Sivaatasi
Summary: How much crap does a guy have to take just to get a fair shake? The school was out to get him, villagers were trying to ruin his life, and everyone he'd ever loved (admittedly that's not many people in the life of our favorite Jinchuuriki) were vanishing on him. Determined to make a new start, he learns that not everything glittering is gold. AU, Naruto. M (just in case).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _No More_ is an AU fanfic done in retrospect to my on-going _Nature of the Beast_ and _Nature of the Beast: Taming of the Savage Beast_ story line. Where the beastly tales are more fantastical and based loosely (very loosely I might add) around the Kitsune legends, this story is an exercise rooted a bit closer to the canon storyline with my particular take on how I'd like to see Naruto written. As it is written in my particular style, many of you will find it grittier than most stories, however, I did try to "lighten up a bit" for the sake of general jocularity. Despite the more drama-laced moments, I did state that this will be AU driven and I'm generally stubborn like that.

I intend to keep the OCs much lower in number, but I make no promises on characters remaining blindly faithful to the Kishimoto canon versions. Neither do I plan on keeping the story faithfully in line with canon – I'm just not going to wander off into the back woods of Narnia.

There a couple things I'll share up front:

\- I despise some of the more glaring holes I've seen in a variety of places. How can the MC get set back even a single year yet not know any of the students in the previous class? Ludicrous I tell you.

\- I also still refuse to accept his blind devotion to a village that hates him. Nuh-uh, not gonna happen.

\- Furthermore, given that the Yondaime rigged a very powerful and highly prototypical seal designed to selectively filter the bijuu's enormous power so that it didn't overwhelm the host, why would he split the chakra of said bijuu under an alleged fear that the vessel couldn't handle the strain? Hogwash. Pure, unadulterated, and undeniable hogwash. There will be no split Kyuubi chakra simply for the benefit of senseless plot hooks designed around self-destructive inner turmoil drama. Full Kyuubi… yin and yang stuffed behind the seal in all its Kyuubi-esque glory, dattebayo.

Some of the ages will be adjusted to simplify some of the story threads. Anko will be only seven years older than Naruto, not twelve or fifteen. I'm keeping the multiple failure theme for our protagonist so that will put him at roughly fourteen going on fifteen years of age when the Mizuki incident happens. There will also be a few other minor changes to our hero's life but you'll see those as they happen. Butterfly Effect? Possibly. Shinobi pandemonium and chaos? Definitely.

I'm not sure how large this story is going to be when it's done but I plan to take my time writing this one as I finish _Taming of the Savage Beast_. Also, there have been no decisions on pairings yet since there won't be Kitsune to fill the gaps. You have a favorite? Leave a recommendation in a review. All's fair as they say…

And as ever stated, enjoy as you will…

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

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 **A/N: Updated Jan 04, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another. I may continue this trend depending on how the story progresses.**

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 _Flashback or reference to a previously occurring event_

 _'Thinking/ Flashback Text'_

"Normal Speaking"

 ** _'Bijuu/Demonic Thinking'_**

 **"Bijuu/Demonic Talking"**

 _"Yelling or Speaking with Strong Emotion"_

[Special Actions/ Hand Signals] - Let's be honest, this is really just a placeholder since I've not used it yet.

I will not be repeating this legend again unless I add something new. Expect this to become the standard for this fanfic.

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 **A/N June 2019: The Types of Stories I Write [CAUTION NOTE]**

Some of you have mentioned that this story, especially in the first few chapters, is difficult to follow. There is a lot going on and the story "loses you."

For those of you new to my particular brand of fanfiction, that is intentional for this particular work but it gets better. _Fair warning to new readers._

I write what I like to read. My stories have a lot going on in them. There are multiple themes, twists, ideas, points of view, and story facets. It's a mess most producers would burn rather than look twice at, but that's okay. I like stories that keep my mind busy. I like stories that also keep me on my toes wondering if I can trust this or that character because you never know where betrayal will come from next. This is especially so in a world where deceit and trickery are a staple of life, as in a major shinobi village.

Apparently, this disturbs some of you. A lot.

Like... _a lot_ , a lot.

Consider this a warning label, cautionary note, whatever you like. I write stories that will challenge you mentally and (hopefully) keep you engaged as the story develops. I would like to see you stick with me until the end but I'm not crazy enough to think that the vast majority won't fall away uninterested. This is fine also.

Life isn't predictable. If you want a linear story where it sticks with the MC the entire way through, there are plenty of them out there. There are a few linked on my profile that I'd highly recommend. I don't usually write those kinds of stories. Why should I? Even when focused on the MC, bad guys have plans, dreams, and goals; I don't focus on every bad guy, just the ones that will cross paths with my MC. Hell, even NPCs have some impact on the story (just look at Teuchi for an example).

While they won't (and shouldn't) command huge chunks of story, a well-written story should blend the chaos of general life. Life is a little chaotic. Life is a little messy. Life can be a little bit unpredictable.

Therefore, so are the stories that I write.

 _~Siv_

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 **Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or have the patent on creativity. I just have an odd brain.**

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 _ **Chapter 1: Birth of a Phantom**_

Dark. Grungy. Uncomfortable. These weren't the only adjectives pinging off the inside of his skull at the moment. Sitting in the ankle-high "sewer water" floating towards him through the gigantic bronze bars not three meters from his lackadaisical lotus position (I mean… he was sitting in a dingy sewer despite the apparent lack of human excrement so it had to be sewer water, right? Did it really matter if it glowed with a dull reddish-orange light?), they were the most prominent ones at the time.

The hunched shoulders of the young teen seemed to radiate despair and desperation in waves. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting…talking…mumbling to the monstrous bulk lazily scrutinizing him with those eerie glowing eyeballs. He knew it was wearing thin, razor thin, on his already frazzled nerves. This particular routine stagnated shortly after his first arrival to the mindscape some three-plus years ago. For the first time since that initial meeting, he was beginning to wonder if anything mattered anymore. I mean…if nothing changed then why sweat the details?

Take the eyeball large enough for a human to lay flat on, for example, and the rest of the creature it ultimately served. The sickening level of apathy he'd bore the brunt of these past three years only served to prove that he couldn't count on anyone but himself, least of all his reluctant tenant. Ironic, in that brilliant epiphany of hope and despair, one that he'd had to learn the hard way (the extremely painful way) exemplifying the self-defeating belief that he couldn't even count on himself.

Today had been a stellar representation of that principle signifying a lesson in hopelessness and frustration.

Rising to his feet in the sloshing swill gurgling and swirling about his ankles, the despondent teen's mop of glowingly-sunny hair lifted up from the floor and the eerily orange-red glowing water to fixate on the lethargic titan of equally burnt orange fur. With a final _tsk_ of disappointment, the tightly-packed figure of an athlete gave one mocking two-fingered salute from his brow before fading from view thereby missing the rueful smirk and happy swishing of multiple tails from the obstinate creature.

He had other things to worry about. For instance, he needed to worry about today.

' _Well…today absolutely sucked.'_

Standing on the roof of a run-down tenement building nestled deep into the south-eastern corner of his home village, the same blond-haired, blue-eyed miscreant rose from his real-life lotus position and exhaled a deep cleansing grunt of air from his lungs. With nothing more to add to his grand realization, he turned his cobalt blue orbs outward this time to take in the relatively quiet ambiance of his slum-like neighborhood. He was most likely going to spend the rest of his days here just before dying in debilitating boredom and insignificance.

That single thought, unspoken in the underwhelming void comprising Konoha's muggy summer evening, succinctly captured not just today's spectacular failure but the previous half decade of emotional pain and gnashed teeth. It was pure coincidence that his already crappy mood cooled into self-loathing just as the burning orange sunset plastered the horizon with deep violet and crimson streamers. Ironic that some of those were his favorite colors.

Standing atop the broken-down ruins representing his home, Naruto Uzumaki inhaled deeply the rancid air of his decrepit neighborhood while simultaneously trying to reconcile both his brief existence and his lifelong culmination of failure, to date, with his current list of abysmally short options for happiness.

' _Three Strikes,'_ two hateful words that were incessantly bouncing around in his seemingly hollowed-out skull. He wasn't a total idiot, but he was smart enough to recognize his strength never lay in the fine art of scholarly pursuits… with one noted exception. That meant more schooling was absolutely out of the question.

He'd failed Konoha's Academy graduation exam for three years straight (with what he recognized as plenty of institutional assistance) and the loss of that third failure stung deeply. His prophetic realization showed that it stung far too deeply for him to convincingly lie to himself with conviction at its non-importance in the far-flung scale of life's hard knock lessons. This loss violently compressed his chest every time Iruka-sensei's, _"I'm sorry, Naruto, but you've failed,"_ reverberated in his extremely keen ears.

He'd seen Akimichi's pound wooden slabs into the ground with less shock and awe but, in the end, the devastation to his personal career plan had been morosely and equally efficient. Without his first option at career success, really the only thing he felt himself marginally skilled at, that left even less chance of his second life goal ever coming to fruition.

Pulling a faded black and white photo from the small hardcover book kept in the inner pocket of his frayed and tattered jacket, Naruto blinked away the moisture bleeding the sharp edges away from his vision as a calloused thumb traced the soft edges of the pretty young girl smiling back up at him. Recognizing that his failure hurt more than just himself this time, his face tightened up briefly into a rictus of pain.

There were three faces in the photo, each one slightly behind and above the one in front as they stood single-file before his favorite place of all time, Ichiraku's Ramen. Akimi's auburn-draped head had leaned back just enough to rest her curls on his collarbone while Ayame hung off his right shoulder with one arm, her other limb holding up a boisterous "peace sign" just over his left deltoid. Naruto inadvertently blushed crimson at the memory of the older girl's chest pressed against his shoulder blades, a fleeting memory summarily crushed in an acidic rush of shame and disappointment. He'd made a real mess of things today, not that Akimi would know after tonight.

After tonight, if he succeeded, he planned to vanish from Konoha's warm summer days never to be seen again. This was his last chance after all.

 **~Earlier that Day Outside of the Academy ( _Flashback No Jutsu)_ ~**

' _A shinobi is one who endures…'_

Naruto was pacing like a caged animal under the large maple just across the street from the academy entrance, his breaths coming in short angry bursts that flared his nostrils and constricted the corners of his nearly non-existent eyes.

' _A shinobi is at all times centered and calm, economical of effort and efficient in execution.'_

His head snapped up as he completed another lap around the old swing that had been his mental balm year after year in this his personal purgatory. His exceptionally keen ears were steadfastly refusing to block out the boastful cheers and hateful jeers from the " _normals_ " exiting his former academic stomping grounds. He wanted so desperately to punch them all in their smug faces and watch their helicopter parents spiral out of the air as they crashed and burned.

He'd seen pictures of the ancient flying machines in a history book once and felt the analogy accurate no matter how stupid flying in a large metal deathtrap seemed at the time.

' _A shinobi is one with their…'_

" _Screw that! Get out of my head!"_ he hissed out.

Naruto's clawed hands found their way into the spiky locks making up his golden crown of hair and began pulling. In the deep recesses of his mind, a disgruntled inner monologue was storming off muttering under his breath about ungrateful gakis and vowing to never reveal the ultimate superhero theme song he'd been working diligently on. It might have been his inner turmoil and shock at even having an inner monologue that finally tuned him out completely from his surroundings. Perhaps it was the angry hissing of air through his teeth as he tried to turn his head into a monk's bald pate was why he never heard the silver-blue headed Chunin approach.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself Naruto. You did surprisingly well today." Mizuki-sensei's sudden appearance snapped the blond out of his spiraling funk but did nothing to lift his chin from the new indention in the boy's chest made by his own lowered chin.

"I failed. Always with the same problem but I still tanked it." The boy was staring with glazed-over eyes as the wooden swing swayed in the breeze just out of arm's reach.

"Bah! You would have passed if they hadn't changed the rules on the _Bunshin_ this year, again." The taller Chunin leaned over just enough to see the hateful flicker in the eyes of the demon bra-… failed academy student and smiled darkly. The spark was there just below the surface. All he needed to do was hook him, fan the flames, then reel him in.

 _'Two birds with one stone,'_ the older man hungrily whispered to himself.

For his part, Naruto played the angry victim to a tee. Three years running, the instructors felt the need to "revamp" the ninjutsu portion of the exam on short notice. His difficulty with the low-powered E-rank jutsu was not a secret. His own classmates made sure to lord the recurring failure over the future Hokage and virtually reveled in his recurring defeat.

Two days before his first crack at the final two years before, all of the homeroom teachers announced that they could no longer graduate having properly demonstrated two of the three approved jutsu techniques. To pass, they would have to successfully demonstrate all three since successful application of each constituted the bare minimum proficiency to allow access to the shinobi world. Two decades since the last curriculum change and they decide to refresh things now? No matter how much chakra Naruto used, he could not get his _Bunshin_ to not look like a deflated festival float.

It was his first bitter defeat at the hands of his dreaded nemesis.

His second defeat arrived the following year. Having discovered that he could get passable results by using the same amount of chakra and spamming four dozen copies of himself, hope bloomed in his chest thinking this would be his year. Not more than two weeks later a new revision landed hot off the academy presses stating that, in order to help refine student chakra control, hopefuls taking the final exam would be limited to no more than three clones and would be graded on jutsu aesthetics. Instructors would grade things such as seal speed and conservation of chakra, criteria that highlighted poor levels of control usually represented by excess levels of smoke when the clones exploded into existence (the more smoke you made, the more chakra you wasted).

Naruto had never been able to make less than two dozen clones at a pop so, with that monolithic proclamation from the hellish academy administrators, his second failure and associated re-matriculation of the hateful academy syllabus was all but assured. Hateful fact that it was, it was his reality and the Kyuubi vessel hated the smirking teacher that reminded him of that blistering failure and the snide group of bastards that engineered it.

Shaking his head violently at the resentful snickers of the academy staff traipsing by, Naruto looked up for the first time to lock stares with the gently smiling Mizuki-sensei invading his personal space. In the back of his mind, a tiny voice was raging that he shouldn't trust this man, the same man that glared spitefully whenever he thought Naruto wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. The same instructor that subtly worked to handicap his education in the combative arts of his chosen profession. Despite those warning flags, he opened up enough to engage the closet Kyuubi hater so he could at least get to the bottom of why the jerk was here to begin with.

"What can I do for you, Mizuki? As you can see I'm pretty busy today… schedule just chock-a-block full of important meetings and such." Anger and annoyance flashed ever so briefly across the older man's eyes before it just as quickly evaporated to be replaced by a saccharine smile that made the boy shiver.

Instead, the man snorted in his habitually snide fashion and turned to walk away.

"And here I thought, as one of the authorized recruiting agents, I was doing you a favor by bringing you the invitation to join the ANBU ranks. I see that was a crucial error in judgement on my part." With the taller man's back to the now shell-shocked boy, Mizuki couldn't see his response in the slightest. Truth be told, he didn't need to as the emotion-filled voice called out to his retreating form before he'd gone two steps in any random direction.

To be honest, he hadn't planned on walking more than a step once he spit out that last teaser.

"I need to be an active shinobi before anyone would take me. Your offer doesn't make sense!" Despite the boy being absolutely correct, Mizuki grinned like a Cheshire cat. The demon's desperation was palpable.

"In most cases you would be correct. There are notable exceptions, like Itachi Uchiha, who was drafted directly into the ANBU."

"Itachi was a prodigy that few had seen." The blond's head rotated back to the ground dejectedly. "I don't have the same skills that he did." Mizuki's grin only widened further.

"Hey, don't take my word for it. I was just directed to make the offer and see if you were interested in joining the ranks. Apparently, someone thinks the years they spent chasing you around Konoha during your pranking sprees were worth something but, then again, what do I know?" He started walking again.

"Mizuki-sensei, wait. Please." Mizuki relished that the proper respect and title returned to the demon's speech this time. Oh, he was also going to relish this night above all others.

"Do I need to do anything to accept the offer?"

Mizuki composed himself quickly and toned down his eerie grin. "Funny you should ask that, Naruto. The ANBU have a special audition for prospective gains, one I think you shouldn't have any issues with…"

 **~Back on the Roof of Naruto's Apartment _(Flashback No Jutsu - Kai!)_ , 3 Hrs 15 Mins Before Go-Time ~**

He had to be smart about this. The ANBU were tough despite all the grief he gave them before retiring his pranking equipment. He couldn't afford to drop the ball this time. The Old Man couldn't save him or console him if he failed again.

This time he had to be perfect.

With each failure he'd been summoned before his adoptive grandfather to suffer through conciliatory plaudits on his lackluster attempts to graduate. Each time his growing fears of a greater conspiracy to hold him back (and his inability to hold the equivalent attention span of a broccoli spear) prevented him from truly taking in his partial guardian's encouragement or convincing the ancient shinobi that there were greater forces at play in keeping him back from his fated achievement of super Hokage-dome (odd how that sounded vaguely like that glassy-eyed, fate-ranting bastard from his class the previous year). After all, none of the other kids had books that talked about the Nidaime still being the current Hokage.

He did walk away from that first session with what the "old man" had called an early graduation present, one of which was currently held in his left hand as he glanced down to the cherished keepsake.

In Naruto's hand was the well-worn cover of his favorite book, _Tales of a Gutsy Ninja_ by Jiraiya of the Sannin, its heavily dog-eared pages very familiar to the clanless orphan as his thumb absently stroked the partially-frayed spine. Fearless tales of daring-do etched upon his very soul, Naruto identified with the plucky shinobi in more ways than just their matching _nom de famille;_ they were both named Naruto after all and they were fierce protectors of the same noble _nindo_.

Neither one would give up or betray a comrade willingly. Furthermore, if he gave his word - come hell or high water, he stuck by it. It was just his way.

The other item was also a book, some cheesy how-to manual apparently penned by the Yondaime on how to be a better shinobi. He'd stuffed it away in his apartment after glancing through the first chapter before snorting derisively when it started bad mouthing "unhealthy" foods like ramen. Anything that slandered the holy nectar of the gods didn't deserve any more attention that being a doorstop or, better yet, propping up his coffee table corner. Oddly enough, that's exactly where he left it until he sealed up all of his possessions into the handful of storage scrolls the Old Man had given him at the beginning of his academy stint. In fact, he'd almost left it there until he noticed it earlier tonight. I mean, it was a gift and all…

With a heavy sigh, the boy glanced down once again at his favorite bookmark lamenting happier days and promises of a brighter future. Looking at the timestamp, the Kyuubi vessel's sigh fluttered the picture like a banner as the message of his core belief seemed more fragile than ever, almost as if the faintest breeze would shatter it to a million glittering pieces.

"I'm sorry Akimi. I let us down, but I'll make it right. I promise."

Bubbling up from his throat unbidden, his grunting chuckle never reached his zombie-like orbs finally cleared of cluttering moisture and heated emotion. Who was he kidding? It's not like she'd even remember him in a few years with Koaru- _san_ hanging all over her. Clearly their childish dream born from their joint time at the orphanage had fallen away leaving him the sole holocaust survivor. Bitter, bitter resentment like poisonous bile began to rise up before he could reign in the anger. He wouldn't dwell on it anymore. He wouldn't. It's not like she was truly his to begin with.

He could not... would not hate her for following her heart, fickle muscle that it was. Naruto's sole focus had been obtaining Genin-hood and, despite their rose-tinted dream ending, a female heart could only take so much abandonment or time away that he stubbornly justified as necessary. He needed that time so that he could train in peace for his upcoming greatness.

Enter now the dashing knight in the form of one Koaru Aono, fellow orphan apprenticed to and adopted by the Konoha branch of Aono carpenters and the latest source of Naruto's current hate-filled rage binge.

He had a fair shot to make her happy, to keep her safe, and he blew it like he'd blown his chances at the academy. It was his fault, not hers. He couldn't rightly hate her for…

His calloused hand transformed into a claw and started to close on the photo as he ruthlessly stomped on those feelings and memories. As the glossy paper crinkled in the quiet night air of the slums, a flash of pain shot through his heart seizing up his entire musculature. In hindsight, and with the shedding of a single tear, he smoothed out the crumpled glossy as best he could by rubbing the cherished image across the darker fabric of his newest tee shirt (purchased for this very night) before replacing the heirloom in its sanctuary of book-bound paper and tangelo-tinted fabric.

Even society's outcasts are entitled to their shattered dreams.

' _I will be the greatest Hokage ever! You'll see! Then we'll live happily ever after! Believe it!'_ His eyes flickered to the fading specter of his past as it streaked off into the night in a translucent nightmare of kill-me-now orange. Kami how he hated the color.

Looking down at his trusty jumpsuit, any and all pride at being able to dress himself given the ridiculously overpriced barricades Konoha flung in his face at every turn vanished in the quickly cooling night air. In unflinching retrospection, he used to adore the color and wore it with pride, even throughout his aggressive pranking years, especially given that ANBU never caught him while wearing it. He fiercely protected it through his first three years in the academy… that is until one tragic discovery fatalistically mentally-chained the outfit to every prisoner entombed in the deepest, dankest bowels of ANBU Central.

Hokage-jiji may have relegated the experience to _scaring him straight_ , however, the revelation only cemented his conspiracy-like proclamation that every merchant in Konoha was a bastard-in-waiting out to ruin him.

 _Every_ prisoner in the ANBU vault wore the identical outfit. For the then pre-incarceration-bound pranking recidivist, the reveal mirrored some grim family reunion forecast. It was a forecast Naruto had zero intention of fulfilling if he could at all avoid it. Conversely, there was one silver lining; the experience solidified his (still developing) personal belief that fear was infinitely better than any respect he'd never earn in Konoha as Hokage.

Tonight, for the last time, he'd don the orange nightmare just to earn their attention. ANBU were the apex predators and, if he could pull this off wearing this orange blight upon the ass of the world, he'd win their respect...well, maybe just a little anyway. On second thought, advertising his criminal activities seemed more like the unnecessary bravado that got stupid criminals caught. He opted for plan B and spent ten minutes switching out to his stealth outfit before returning to the roof.

ANBU weren't dumb or cocky and an orange jumpsuit implied both.

ANBU weren't loved, they were respected. ANBU weren't reviled - unless you were a criminal, they were feared. It was etched into the face of every prisoner the Hokage pointed out to him. Like a rabbit flinching before the gaze of a wolf preparing to shred its throat, the reflexive seizure displayed by each and every villain as the ghost-like apparitions floated wordlessly before the Hokage and his self-appointed grandson screamed " _eureka!_ " to the impressionable youth. Their fear was tangible, thick and rancid with their sweat and filth like some miasma of depression he could literally taste.

In that brief moment of self-alliteration Naruto saw himself as he existed just before entering the academy. He saw his own emotionally-abused fear of villagers and the rush of revulsion nearly gagged him in those dimly-lit corridors.

The Hokage clumsily accepted the small child's reaction as a "job well done," a gluttonous-satisfaction filling the old man's smile, a warm glow clearly bathing the ancient warrior's wrinkled and parchment-like skin. Naruto observed every emotional tick as his daily survival was dependent solely upon his ability to accurately judge human intent through a physical manifestation of emotion. It's how he knew which vendors he could and could not steal from when he was penniless and starving.

He would do nothing to dissuade the kind old man, but his rudder shifted almost imperceptibly from the highest office of the esteemed bastion of morale fortitude that was Konoha to the deadliest trenches of its silent killers.

If he could not rule with honor and accolades, he would thrive in the shadows as one of the phantom-like elites. He would become ANBU and strive for status among the crème de la crème in the ANBU Black Ops. He just needed an invitation since you couldn't just volunteer to become a member, which Mizuki-sensei had conveniently provided – a troubling fact still nibbling at the back of his brain. Coincidentally, that resolution brought him painfully back to the present and his latest failure.

Monday he would need to turn in his student ID. Apparently, you were only allowed three chances to make the cut and he'd flopped horribly. Naruto was sure the Council were drunk off their asses by this point celebrating his monumental failure. He'd be a civilian for the rest of his life and they would remain his keepers. Jiji couldn't help him now and the Clan Heads wouldn't lift a finger in his stead. They hadn't before so why start now? No, if anything he had just this one last chance to break free of their oppression. Just one more shot…

Hands clasped tight enough to squeeze the blood from his fingers, Naruto's arms flexed directly above his head as he reveled in the luxurious popping sensations along his spine. Like a hissing steam valve, the euphoric ebbing of his body snapping into its natural alignment brought a jubilant smirk to his lips. Pausing to deliberately twist his face over his right shoulder, he called out into the shadows of the nearest rooftop.

"You gonna come out and talk or are you just gonna stare at me for the rest of the night? That's rude y'know?"

His nostrils twitched but not in irritation. The familiar smell of dango, sake and snake hide assaulted his nose and the boy inhaled deeply almost as if he were trying to memorize the combination or breathe in some potent floral bouquet. Once he heard the fine armor plates of her body armor clinking in his over-efficient ears, his arms flopped to his sides with a lazy slap and his eyes turned back to the street below and the brightly colored lights of the _Cherry Blossom._ He'd have to say goodbye to Madame Ai once the time came to set off.

"How ya holdin' up, Gaki?" A pair of lean shoulders bounced noncommittally in response. She wasn't surprised that he found her. She hadn't been particularly careful approaching him from upwind; she wanted to assess his mental state not spook him.

"Can't complain, Anko-nee." Tilting his head dramatically in her direction so that he could look up into a gorgeous pair of milk chocolate eyes, the grossly underage boy shot the Amazonian beauty his best roguish grin and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Not that anyone else would care anyway."

Despite her best effort, the svelte kunoichi snorted uncontrollably as her armored abdomen contracted in time with her bouncing shoulders. Seven years his senior as well as despised by almost every other Konohan and this child continued to flirt with her as part of some on-going gag. Part of her wondered if he would keep it up once he was old enough to legally appreciate the female body. Part of her hoped he'd give up before he discovered there was more to it than good-natured roleplay. She saw him as a brother worth watching over long after his ANBU protection detail had been removed and hated the thought of his affection for her well-being turning toxic like everything else in his life.

The gaki had suffered enough in her opinion.

"Still tough as nails, eh?" Her eyes took in his profile as his face pivoted back to the brothel just up the block checking for nervous ticks or flashes of emotion to indicate stress or desperation. He was going to be a civilian come Monday and that was going to put one hell of a dent in his Hokage dream. Unfortunately, the child was a block of ice for all she could tell.

"Only way to make it is day by day, _believe it!_ " he all but roared.

She saw his chest expand quickly, heard the forced rush of air as his fingers alternatively flexed and clenched. One slender eyebrow noted the metal-trimmed gloves as the attentive combatant filed away his pensive posture. Those were definitely new. He was preparing himself for…something.

"Working tonight, Anko-nee?" In answer, the gorgeous purplette donned her mask pausing as the chakra anchors secured it to her face. "Be safe for me. I can't lose you too."

At this she did pause even as her eyes softened beneath her ANBU security blanket. Morbid wasn't like him so she huffed out her usual reply of, "Pfft! I'm too sexy to get taken out, Gaki. Thought I taught you better?"

She took careful note of how hollow his laughter sounded and spent a few more minutes studying his every tick. He was standing a bit too still for her liking. He was usually a ball of unending energy and it was noticeably missing now.

His one-time guardian reached out and affectionately ruffled the sun-kissed mop of unruly hair before leaning in and touching the seal-reinforced forehead of her porcelain mask to his brain case. Through the angled slits of her mask, Anko Mitarashi watched as the bluest eyes she'd ever known dimmed just before eyelids sealed them from the world. She held their modified embrace as her adopted brother inhaled deeply one last time. His enhanced senses were a "family secret" they shared so his attempt to memorize Anko's scent was both oddly comforting and eerily disconcerting at the same time. It was almost as if he wasn't expecting to…

When Naruto opened his eyes again, she was gone. Just like that, the drudgery respite receded taking along with it the flood of endorphins that always accompanied Anko's presence...and the overly-sweet smile he'd been forcing onto his face to keep her at ease. He chuckled mirthlessly. Endorphins was a big word for him.

With another snide titter, Naruto muttered a terse, "To hell with it," and leapt off the roof of his apartment. He finished all the prepping he could at this point so stalling any longer wouldn't do anyone any good. There was sneaking to be done and he aimed to be about it.

One final pat to the holsters on both thighs and the extra pouch on his belt confirmed all the necessary tools about his wiry person. The bulky potato sack of a jumpsuit did much to hide his lean frame while allowing for the odd growth spurt but his stealth suit clung just enough not to make unnecessary noise. Best of all, the heavy material was good for a variety of environments so multi-tasking wasn't horrifically difficult. The orange beast served to point him out in spectacular fashion when hiding wasn't the name of the game; the charcoal grey of his badass sneaking kit made him all but a walking ghost. It made him look the part.

As he strolled past the _Cherry Blossom_ storefront, the bevy of gorgeous women standing outside waved, cat-called and blew kisses to the budding shinobi… all in good nature of course.

He was their protector after all.

Once he got close enough, the "Ladies" as he called them, swarmed him in a cloud of daintily-perfumed bodies, arms, stomachs, and bosoms swamping him in a frenzy of pressed flesh as they steered him inside. Taking a deep breath right before his hand gripped the pull ring, Naruto slid the well-maintained slab of hardwood aside and entered the den of sin determined to make his final farewells as quickly as possible.

Maemae, the twenty-something hostess smiled down to their regular visitor turning her attention briefly from the rather hulking doorman as she gently stroked his whiskered cheek. She knew how much that affected him and seemed to enjoy tormenting the stoic orphan at every opportunity. She also secretly enjoyed the way it made him purr like a cat. She casually mentioned that they had plenty of steamed veggies and beef shanks that every growing shinobi needed as he slipped on past her and into the building proper.

He flashed another brilliant smile to hide the surge of pain.

Naruto took the good-natured petting in stride and gently pushed her hands away as he strode purposely into the ground-floor office nestled into the rear of the large drinking saloon. With his breath leaking out in measured hisses, Naruto's eyes found the gracefully-aging madame at her personal table near the bar and jogged into her open arms for the familiar embrace of his adopted obaa-chan. He was just hoping to make good his escape before his air ran out and he'd need to take a reconstituting breath.

Madame Ai, on the one hand, knew about the child's incredibly sensitive sense of smell. Every lady in the place knew and, with the exception of Lily who, for some reason enjoyed torturing the child she couldn't legally sink her fangs into… _yet_ , the kind Madame had gone to extreme measures to tone down the normally suffocating levels of perfumes and incense commonplace among houses of ill-repute. From frequent bathing of the girls to softer floral scents and closed-off personal chambers, they'd made changes to encourage his presence in the most profitable night den of the district.

They kept it through a pretty shrewd business arrangement by sharing a small portion of the profits in exchange for him "policing the regulars."

She knew how the other guild establishments cheated him, so the Madame had no issues with taking care of him "off the books" with the occasional healthy meal (when those fat bastards tried to bleed his monthly stipend dry) and small cash infusions (for his help with sick perverts). There were clear benefits to keeping the bijuu vessel on your side.

Now the good Madame knew he couldn't contend with mature shinobi being a student and all but the shinobi of Konoha were pretty good about policing their own. For the most part, Naruto helped to police the morally ambiguous thugs and lowlifes through creative application of his academy studies and that worked just fine for the women of the _Blossom_. Incidents of abuse from and among the clientele plummeted over the three years he'd been watching over the adjacent alleys and such diligence had endeared him to the staff. Getting hamstrung by a razor-sharp kunai in some dismal alley was always good incentive to behave regardless of who or where it came from.

It didn't take long for the dirt-bags to realize that only the ones roughing up the Madame's girls had run-ins with the _demon child._

Container of the Kyuubi? She couldn't have cared less. He was just as much an outcast as they were. Would a demon protect her girls? Would a demon have come to her rescue last year when an angry client evicted by her security stalked her one fine Konoha afternoon? As far as Madame Ai was concerned, Konoha was full of idiots looking to make the boy into the demented killer they all feared and imagined he was. Her girls, on the other hand, had nothing to fear from the bijuu container and, as she released him from her vice-like embrace, her hands gently clamped on to his cheeks as she pressed her lips to his blushing forehead.

She was going to miss him and the pained smile on her heavily powdered face showed as much. Sliding a comfortably-full envelope across her table into his innocent looking hands, the hands holding the gentleness of a child and not a trained killer despite her knowing better, Madame Ai kept the smile on her face as he bowed and backed away before turning around and trotting out of her drinking parlor. More than warm meals, extra cash, a safe haven when the villagers devolved into idiots on his birthday, she was going to miss his company.

She'd been reading people far to long to see this as anything other than an old friend saying goodbye. Bystanders at the bar years later would swear to have heard her heart break as the scruffy-looking blond walked out of the establishment without another backwards glance. The tough madame would deny the pain of losing her little blond samurai to her dying day as she watched his back get swallowed by the dismal night of the slums in search of his dream.

Naruto smiled politely but otherwise ignored the friendly pats and passing palms that stroked his hair and face. He was going to miss the Ladies of _The Cherry Blossom_. He'd miss the teasing, but he had work to do.

Instead, now back out onto the rocky and unevenly paved roads of the district he called home, the container of the world's most powerful bijuu took once again to the rooftops and streaked across town to the southern edge of the Market District and his favorite hangout of all time.

Passing over shanties and rickety tenements like the one he'd spent the last nine years calling home, the pupils of his eyes opened reflexively to take in more light after leaving in his wake the garish illumination of the brothels. More than a couple of the masked shadows observing his passing shuddered at the eerie blue glow caused by the focusing of all available light into his unnatural orbs. Naruto merely smiled sorry that they couldn't see the equally abnormal fanged maw right below his eyes.

' _Oh well…'_

Alighting on the roof of a convenient two-story, Naruto sidled up next to the chimney stones and leaned lazily against the stack. His eyes peered down and across the street to Ichiraku's conveniently situated as it was at a y-street junction. From his altitude, the banners kept him from seeing the owners of the odd pairs of legs wrapped around what he knew to be comfortable bar stools, but he could hear just fine. Especially since there was a lot to hear as the entire village seemed to have turned out to celebrate the academy's latest batch of graduates. He even saw more than a few of his former classmates wandering about in the swelling tide of revelry.

Closing his eyes to help focus out ambient distractions, he settled in for a quick listen.

 **~Inside Ichiraku's Ramen Stand, 2 Hours 45 Minutes Before Go-Time ~**

"I don't get it, Ayame. He should be here by now." The younger girl was forcefully stacking bowls in a plastic basket and using a warm rag to wipe tables with the vigor of a sumo wrestler.

"Give him time, Akimi. He's had a pretty rough day," Ayame chirped out despite the strain at keeping up the easy-going façade. Teuchi simply grunted like a caveman over by the large metal vats used to simmer the broth for their famous ramen dishes. It did little to ease the auburn-haired woman's apprehension.

"You know it's more than that. He hasn't been coming around in the evenings anymore. I-I don't ever get to see him since…" Both Ayame and her father winced sympathetically. Kimi-chan had been a blessing when they took her on as staff and Naruto had never been happier. If the two hadn't known better, you could have sworn Naruto was destined to be her soulmate as much as they talked about future plans and happy prospects of family life and love. Akimi wasn't old enough to take a surname yet as she still had a few more years before the orphanage would force her out but the old man had hoped she'd take the Uzumaki title in due time. Naruto had been the odd duck seeing as the Yondaime had personally given him the last name after…

Now neither one of those was a memory worth dredging up. It was a shame really and now on top of that to throw his recent defeat at the academy into the mix. Teuchi sighed as he turned away from the angst-filled conversation between Kimi-chan and his daughter not wanting to add fuel to the oven burner. He'd spotted walking into his restaurant the young man responsible for his best customer evaporating into thin air, and, despite liking the boy on a personal level, he just couldn't reconcile the end result. The many overjoyed customers coming in to boast and brag about his favorite blond failing the final graduation exam for the third and final time had just taken too much of a toll on his normally bright customer service smile.

 **~Across the Street from Ichiraku's Ramen Stand** **, 2 Hours 40 Minutes Before Go-Time ~**

Naruto lifted off of the dusty chimney stones as the smarmy male's voice called out to his best fr… called out to Kimi-chan. He'd heard enough anyway and leapt off into the night angling his path back to the northwest. The many ongoing celebrations tonight would be a big help.

Before too long he settled down into a crouch staring across the street before him at a very familiar building situated near the heart of Konohagakure, the Hokage Tower.

High above the tumultuous night life of Konoha, Naruto hunkered down three roofs away from the Hokage Mansion complex consisting of the main tower, the academic wing, and the mansion proper, waiting patiently while the lower lights began to flicker out one by one. If everything went according to plan, he'd pass this initiation and begin serious training with his real heroes and not have to deal with those posers from his former class. No more hiding his true face behind a mask of lies. Soon enough he'd have a real mask to hide the pain of his life.

It was worth the wait. Absent-mindedly dragging a single digit across his upper lip, his legs tensed briefly and he prepared one last time to get moving.

 **~Inside the Hokage Mansion, in the Mission Room, 5 Minutes Before Go-Time ~**

"…I'm serious Hokage-sama. He wasn't right in the head. The boy was too calm after what he's been through today." Hiruzen Sarutobi, the most powerful shinobi in their entire village was puttering about as the mission assignment office was shutting down for the night. He was multi-tasking, ever the adept administrator working through his personal checklist while holding multiple conversations with people seeking his signature on daily mission tallies, the next day's mission priorities, and Anko's desperate plea to have Naruto locked up for observation until they could crack whatever evil plot was hatching in his juvenilistic mind.

"Naruto is stronger than you think, Anko. I'm sure you're just overreacting given your history with the boy." Anko's face did a fair imitation of a wrinkled raisin in her annoyance. "Besides, he hasn't pulled a single prank in what...almost two years? You will see. He'll come see me again tomorrow like he always does and we'll find a solution to the problem…like we always do."

"I have to disagree this time, Hokage-sama." She stopped short as the bustling senior citizen stopped abruptly to spin about and glare down at her in all his perturbed glory (which caused her to jerk to a quick stop), but she didn't back down. She blushed… quite a bit, but persisted nonetheless. "He wasn't angry. He wasn't being snotty and planning revenge through some stupid prank. He was standing quietly on his roof looking out at the village almost as if he was expecting someone to show up then leave so he could get on with what he had planned. It ain't normal for the gaki," she spat out in a rush.

The Hokage gave one heavy sigh as he looked down into the young lady's pensive gaze before responding. "I spoke with him shortly after he left the academy and Naruto seemed well adjusted. I think he may pleasantly surprise you."

Anko readily snorted her disbelief.

"I firmly believe that you're panicking unnecessarily, however, I will send a two-man squad first thing in the morning to prove it." When Anko's face began to swell up with oxygen, he acted swiftly and decisively. "Unless you plan to stalk him yourself, that's the best I'll offer." The old man lifted his chin imperiously in an attempt to bluff her out and ended up trapped in a drawn-out chin lift battle, which he naturally won as the ruling shinobi.

Signing his final documents and wishing Iruka a good night, the old man filed away the female ANBU's concern about his surrogate grandson and trudged up the stairs back to his office for one last task. It couldn't hurt to take a quick look in the crystal ball… could it?

 **~Outside the Hokage Mansion on a Nearby Rooftop, Go-Time ~**

Naruto waited until Anko leapt away and counted to fifteen before he moved a muscle. His eyes took in the two sentries on the ground level and the three hovering around the Hokage on the second level where he did a lot of the mission work. It was now or never.

Pushing chakra to the soles of his feet, the former Orange Bomber slipped back away from the street edge to the next alley running parallel to the main street crossing in front of the Mansion. At the edge of the roof, his feet snapped to the horizontal plane so that the treads of his sandals could provide enough traction to slow his descent to the dusty earth below. Immediately dashing to his left, he crossed over one full block before cutting back and across the main thoroughfare.

Not even pausing to see if the quietly chatting door guards noticed his mad dash, his feet touched down just long enough to launch his body skyward to the nearest rooftop. Pushing off in the direction of the tower now directly to his left, Naruto roof-hopped until he crested the building next to the tower before planting both feet on the stone ledge using his bullet-like momentum to pop his trajectory up onto the domed roof of the central spire. Freezing for another ten-count, he padded softly to the edge of the dome and dropped down to the balcony on the back side of the Hokage's office. Pausing again to make sure the only sound within twenty yards was his own labored breathing, Naruto slipped into the window whose lock he'd jammed up earlier in the afternoon during his last-minute visit to the Hokage following his third failure.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: In for a Penny, In for the Whole Pound of Flesh**_

Ten-year-old Naruto Uzumaki knew something was wrong when he approached the entrance to _The Blossom_ and he didn't see Maemae out front amongst all of the other "girls," who seemed to be in full panic mode. Their sweat and fear were obliterating the heavy perfume auras making them stink worse than that other smell he normally picked up from them. She welcomed him every night unless she was entertaining a "friend" so her not being there wasn't odd. It was the fact that the other girls were very nervous and none of them would tell him when she was coming back that made the hairs on his neck stand up like porcupine quills.

Moving inside as he was wont to do, Naruto tried to breathe shallowly and moved in to the larger drinking room to find obaa-chan, Madame Ai. He found her normal seat but her odd-shaped upside-down triangle glass and really long cigarette were both left unattended. That foul-smelling contraption was never far from its owner and the fact that both the drink and the cigarette stem were ownerless glued him to the floor as a growing sense of fear started eating away at his guts.

"It's a shame that the stalker is focusing on Ai-chan's place." Naruto's head snapped around to stare at the backs of two casually speaking adults. "She has a nice place…some really pretty girls." His eyes flickered from the long mane of white hair and the green _haori_ to the man's drinking buddy whose gravity-defying silver head was bobbing up and down sagely.

"Maybe they'll catch the bastard after what he did to the girl." His neighbor, the one that spoke first, merely grunted in agreement. "She was one of the sweetest of the bunch."

"Yeah… too bad for her but I hope she pulls through." Naruto didn't know why that conversation scared him, but he had the strongest urge to go find Maemae. Spinning on his heels, the shinobi in training darted out of the parlor and hung a sharp left which he knew would lead him to the back stairwell and up to his adopted sister's room.

It was easy to get to since everyone seemed to be in a panic and he was a very small moving target. With all of the other garish colors and dim lighting, his nearly-neon jumpsuit blended right in as natural camouflage. Before he knew it, the small figure was standing next to her door listening and observing patiently as people were darting in and out of the room, others talking hurriedly. Naruto could see some of the girls rushing about carrying bundles of bloody rags and bandages. He could also see others scurrying back in with large bowls of hot water and more clean towels.

Aside from the anti-septic aromas trying to scourge his nose – an unpleasant scent that he associated with hospitals, he picked up the distinct metallic tang of fresh blood. Lots of it. It was a very familiar smell as he'd been jumped a few times by bullies in his neighborhood and was quite familiar with the aroma. It was one such instance which had introduced him to Maemae as she jumped in to defend him from a small batch of thugs last year. As close as he was to the door of her room, it was easy to pick up the frantic whispers of people trying to patch up someone moaning in pain. They were so focused on what they were doing that none of them paid him any mind. So, he peeked around the corner when a particularly loud hiss made him perk up in worry.

That was Maemae's voice.

What he saw next scarred him deeply. Maemae was being held down on her bed while several of the older ladies tried to bandage her up and clean away the blood from her face and naked body. Some of it was leaking from her side. She'd been stabbed and beaten, the deep bruises marring her very soft skin. He could see a green glow around the hands of one of the older ladies and the trail of blood was slowing to a dribble, but it didn't matter. The fact that she was bleeding at all shocked him more than seeing her exposed breasts and battered ribs. His eyes were locked onto hers, well… the one that was still open anyway, and her split and bleeding lip. His heart dropped to his feet as the entire world swirled to a miserable pinpoint of light.

It was during a particularly painful hiss that made Mae's body convulse, lifting her off the mattress while she cried out, that their eyes met. She had seen him and froze as her one working hazel eye locked onto the boy's own royal blues. Even as everyone was frantically yelling at her to lay down so they could finish healing her, she croaked out one word, a single name through gritted teeth, and everyone else in the room took notice of him for the first time.

"N-Naruto…kun."

Everything was a blur after that. He vaguely remembered Madame Ai's voice as she bellowed for someone to get him back downstairs. His last image was Maemae's good eye as a tear slid down her face before someone snatched him up and hustled him back to the first floor, his face pressed into a soft chest as strong arms swept him away in the moment's frenzy. By the time soft hands were stroking his face and asking if he was okay while trying to convince him not to worry, all he could do was numbly mumble and nod his head, the image of his favorite friend at _The Blossom_ in such pain burned irrevocably into his head. He could almost taste the blood the smell was so strong. It as he was trying to scrub the smell from his nostrils with the back of his hand, and failing, that he realized that the bloody smell was outside as well. His trusty snooter had missed it earlier but now it was far too clear to miss a second time.

He inhaled once. Yup. It was weaker outside, but it was still fresh.

He inhaled a second time and started walking around, his eyes roaming every surface he could find until he saw a few red spots leading from the porch to the nearest corner. Sniffing every few steps eyes scouring the alley for additional spots of bright crimson, Naruto eventually found himself standing at the end of a smaller artery between another pair of ramshackle apartment buildings. As his eyes tracked the sporadic flecks of his friend's life, they very quickly noted the flaring dot of orange light pulsing with each inhale at the lips of a respectably-dressed male resting on a trash container. The burning embers of the man's cigarette trembled with his shaking hands but never overpowered the familiar smell of Maemae's blood.

The trail led directly to him.

Naruto was shocked. He expected to see some deranged psychopath, perhaps a hulking behemoth decked out in spiky leather maniacally scraping the blood off his knuckles with his pierced tongue. What he saw didn't match up at all.

Oh, his shaky hands were bruised and bloody, which was to be expected, but that's where the similarities to his horrific fantasy ended. The man wasn't much bigger than the ten-year old, a dark-haired businessman wearing tidy robes with a full head of dark hair and immaculately-groomed facial hair. He couldn't see his eyes from his current distance, even with his unnaturally-sharp eyesight, due to the freakish reflection on the man's glasses, but they weren't glowing with some demonic pulse. He looked normal… unless you noticed the still dripping knife gripped possessively in his left hand, another oddity.

Maemae's scent rolled off of him and the blade. Glancing back over his shoulder, Naruto could see the glow from _The Blossom's_ lights at the end of the alleyway even as he turned back to the now still abuser. You'd think the man would have fled farther than he did before setting up camp but there he was big as life and soon Naruto started padding closer to the silent sociopath.

He wanted to ask him something. He had to know.

Stopping a half-dozen paces away, he opened his mouth only to have the fellow parrot his own question back to him.

"You want to know why I did it, don't you?" The road hazard tinted child could only nod while he waited with bated breath. The terse giggle he got in return only served to further unnerve the fledgling shinobi.

"Everyone wants to know why." Another giggle. "The answer is, 'none of your damn business!'" Now the giggling was turning into full-blown insanity as his face shot up to look at the night sky. "The wench deserved it… flaunting her wares like that! They all did!" Naruto, despite his growing anger, took an involuntary step back as the crazy man's eyes swiveled down from the ebony heavens to lock onto his latest visitor.

"Did you care for her?" Naruto nodded silently causing the blood-splattered psycho to giggle again. "Good…" his voice a sibilant hiss, "…perhaps you can mourn her when she passes." He paused just long enough to take in the boy's shocked face before the hideous laughter began to bubble up once more.

At that point, Naruto's world began to implode. His vision began to fade into a red tint around the edges, his sight compressing to a single point five meters in front of his shaking limbs. All he could see was the image of Maemae's broken and battered body as she writhed in agony because this sicko had an issue with prostitutes. With the thundering echo of his own heart in his ears, Naruto's vision ran blood red as an inhuman growl erupted from the back of his mind (If you've seen the original Ghostbuster's movie, think of the growl made by the demon dogs of Zuul) and past his snarling lips.

Apparently even homicidal lunatics can feel fear... and pain.

* * *

A/N: A slightly different take on Naruto's life and why he went after the Forbidden Scroll of Seals.

~Siva'a


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Responses have been mild, but reader interest appears to be consistent. I'll push out a few more chapters and see if anything sticks. Please review (one-word vagaries do not help me focus on improvements) and unsigned reviews will most likely be discarded. Your thoughts and comments are always appreciated.

This next chapter sort of wrote itself once the concept got stuck in my brain. Maybe it's the voices or the root beer… _naaaaaaaaaaaw!_

Whose driving this bus? Clearly not me.

P.S.: Yes, I'm working on the next chapter of _NotB: Taming of the Savage Beast_. Nope, not sure when it will be done but I'm making better progress now that their's some space freed up with this next batch of _No More_ completed.

Anywho… enjoy as you will…

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **A/N: Updated Feb 05, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2: Peas in the Same Twisted Pod**_

* * *

 **~Previously on** _ **No More…**_

 _Not even pausing to see if the quietly chatting door guards noticed his mad dash, his feet touched down just long enough to launch his body skyward to the nearest rooftop. Pushing off in the direction of the tower, Naruto roof-hopped until he crested the building next to the tower before planting both feet on the stone ledge using his bullet-like momentum to pop his trajectory up onto the domed roof of the central spire. Freezing for another ten-count, he padded softly to the edge of the dome and dropped down to the balcony on the back side of the Hokage's office. Pausing again to make sure the only sound within twenty yards was his own labored breathing, Naruto slipped into the window whose lock he'd jammed up earlier in the afternoon during his last-minute visit the Hokage following his third failure._

* * *

 **~At Home Early the Next Morning After the Hokage Tower Break-In ~**

Naruto was wondering just what he'd done to deserve this particular level of hell. Maybe he shouldn't have had that ninth bowl of Ichiraku's? Maybe he forgot to give his monthly donation at Inari's shrine? Maybe he'd finally been driven over the edge and was just now going stark-raving nutsoid? Maybe, just maybe, he should have left the damn scroll where it was.

Maybe… his train of self-destructive thought crashed to a jarring halt as another empty ramen cup bounced off his forehead protector. Naruto's head sunk into the palms of his hands, his fingers clenching and unclenching into the blond mop that sprouted from his cranium, as he considered the catastrophic implications this little meeting was having on his emergency ramen supply.

At this point, his meager hovel of a home had been invaded. It had been physically invaded by slightly altered carbon copies of himself and all but three of them were shoveling noodle-to-face in an inhumane fashion. Is this what people thought of him when he ate ramen?

To make it worse, the vast majority of them were hovering around his battered coffee table gesticulating heatedly at each other (when not gorging themselves) matching the argumentative and aggravated voices that accompanied such a conflict-heavy pastime. At some point, one of the three colorful characters of feminine inclination settled down next to him and gently began to rub small circles into his hunched back with a very gentle palm. Although initially soothing, it did little assuage the blossoming migraine chipping away at the front of his skull.

Since when did he see himself as a girl and why were all his female personas _ridiculously hot!?_ Also, did that make him some weirded-out pervert? He hoped not. Everything about today only served to confuse him more and the frustrated youth didn't think he could handle the implications of that extra identity crisis.

Who was he? Did he actually pass? His fingers brushed against the battered plate affixed to his forehead. It would be a week before the dust settled on his involvement with the nasty traitor. Until then, he could do naught but sit and spin.

' _Why did I think listening to Mizuki-teme was a good idea?'_

He really wasn't expecting an answer, but the continued theme of confusion reverberated in-line with that question since jiji left him swinging in the breeze without any sort of definitive course of action. If he were being absolutely honest with himself, a truly honest answer was just a brain cell or two away along with a full-blown sociopathic break.

Let's be real here. Any half-wit could see that the ANBU didn't offer make-up exams for academy failures, but he'd been desperate. He'd been desperate enough to partially buy-in to the outright lie and look at how that turned out for him. Looking up at his confrontational alter egos from between his clenched fingers noting the eight very different figures sharing his genetics, Naruto Uzumaki cursed himself one more time for choosing that damnable family of jutsu that had made his entire life of academia a rotting hell. Why wouldn't clones continue to make his life miserable after the fact? It was hell on earth.

Only this time his personal hell came with cellmates.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Reactions were both varied and instantaneous, not to mention deafening in the echoing silence of his now overly-crowded living room-slash-dining area-slash-kitchenette. Even the oddly-disturbing buzz-cut nin wearing dark shinobi body armor and mesh reinforced with overlapping plated greaves along both forearms and shins paused in his focused note taking and militaristic room evaluations (during his Chishiki-appointed task of assessing Naruto's apartment as a defendable mini-fortress) to openly gape. Equally disturbing was the burgeoning realization that, no matter how minuscule the sphere of influence, he had power.

They listened to his voice.

They responded to his authority.

Okay, so they were only chakra-laced copies of himself no matter how relatively different they may have looked or acted (hinting at some deep-seated mental breakdown he'd really want to evaluate closely later) but they acknowledged him. He had to also admit that the shocked faces and slack jaws staring back at him were an added bonus.

For once in his life, Naruto Uzumaki wasn't totally alone anymore, and he had minions to support him in his future plans to rule the shinobi world. He just had to figure out what the hell was going on first and why they weren't all exact duplicates of the original… like the first couple hundred he'd blasted into being during the _Great Mizuki Beat Down_. Well, first things first…

"Just… stop yelling. You're making my brain hurt." The red headed female to his left rose to her feet alongside Naruto and hugged him, humming a soothing tune that actually made his skull throb less.

Chishiki Uzumaki, the tidier version of himself wearing ochre-colored robes with eggshell trimming - sans whisker marks, cleared his throat indicating he might have something to contribute. In the two hours this group had been holding their impromptu clan meeting, he'd picked up on a few quirks that each representation manifested.

Nodding his head to acknowledge the speaker's podium, which just meant Shiki-kun floated up from his lotus position on the far side of the coffee table (why were two of the three copies of himself dressed in robes sitting on the floor lotus style anyway?) and gently cleared his throat.

Seeing as his input was not required, the taciturn combat nin resumed his journey through the dwelling in single-minded devotion to the greater "plan." Chishiki twisted his shoulders to allow said nin the room to pass by into the kitchen where he began taking measurements on the ancient fridge muttering about anti-personnel countermeasures and recessed launching mechanisms. Naruto cringed before tearing his gaze away from the second-most vital location in his home wondering if he would ever be safe enough to cook in there again and desperately focused on the slightly taller and less rumpled version of himself.

Briefly noting the flowing mid-back-length locks of the same sun-gold crown he himself sported, Naruto retook his spot on the couch between the curvy platinum blonde female about his own age and the crimson-haired beauty old enough to be a sister three or four years his senior, the latter of which resumed gently rubbing his back. If they weren't chakra constructs from his own coils, and despite years of skulking around _The Blossom_ seeing women in various states of undress, he would have burst into a tomato-like rendition of Hinata Hyuuga Part Two. Instead he tried to focus his mind on the stately clone waiting patiently for him to gather his fractured attention span.

Seeing that he had the original's attention, Chishiki smiled briefly and wrapped his left hand around the twin-like bang framing his nearly emotionless face as he tried to summarize his theories using words small enough for "The Boss" to understand.

Thinking how he hated that name for their leader, he took a deep breath and began slowly.

"It would appear that we are at an impasse…," Shiki cleared his throat and glanced briefly at the original, "… _pause_ in our development while the Hokage investigates what happened four hours ago." Naruto tried not to groan too loudly after his eyes flickered to the wall clock by the battered TV set in the far corner that read zero-four-one-six.

"Logic dictates that Mizuki-sensei-," here the stunning bluenette version of Naruto standing just off to the right side of the couch, and next to the curvaceous blond he recognized from his _Sexy Technique_ used to subdue perverts and closet perverts alike, growled forcing Shiki-kun to autocorrect.

"Excuse me. As I was saying, logic dictates that Mizuki- _teme_ ," she purred in contentment as Chishiki bravely plodded on and Naruto tried very hard not to sneak a peek at her tight leather attire, "…will most likely be found guilty of attempting to corrupt us into aiding his dastardly attempt to exfiltrate," Shiki-kun almost… _almost…_ rolled his eyes in frustration this time, "… _flee_ the village with the forbidden Scroll of Seals, which we obtained for him despite our internal conflict over the act." The heavy, heavy sigh from the slimmer embodiment of intelligence brought a deep-seated smile of bliss to Naruto's face; apparently, he could annoy even himself.

"Aaaah-miiii-tuoooo-fooooooo!" _Clap!_

Naruto looked down to the bald version of himself wearing bright orange and gold robes, his hands still pressed firmly with the palms together in prayer and his clean pate rising slowly from his study of the dingy carpet. When it was clear that the mostly-silent monk (why the hell did he have a psyche fragment straight out of a Shaolin Temple movie anyway?) wasn't going to continue, he tore his confused gaze from the two dots on his scalp back to the inversely long-haired version. Still very confused at this point, his thoughts and eyes flipped back to the Wudang disciple just as his warrior/ scholarly topknot was rising from acknowledging the monosyllabic interruption.

He had to secretly admit, those old movies of the Shaolin monks versus the Wudang Temple scholars were some of his favorite and he hoarded them whenever possible, cheesy sound effects and rotten audio translations aside.

"Exactly," Shiki-kun commented as he turned back to the original. "As Keihatsu-kun has succinctly stated," Naruto blinked sheepishly as his eyes flickered between the robed bookends, "…it is a calm mind that will help us sort through this entang… _mess._ " Shiki irritably clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

Naruto wanted to call bullshit on that translation or at least see the cliff notes.

' _Enlightenment, hnh?'_ Naruto was beginning to see a pattern in both their preferred appearances and naming conventions. He filed it away under 'Partially-Developed Concepts Requiring Further Consideration' before turning to the now-speaking bombshell blonde on his immediate right. He decided it was best to blatantly ignore the militant shinobi moving on to the bathroom muttering about needing more high-grade explosives and instead pondered why his _Sexy Jutsu_ had come to life and was sitting on his couch.

"Kei-kun is correct, but that doesn't get us closer to solving what we need to do next." Several of the identical-slash-similar faces were nodding in agreement.

Chishiki bobbed his head once recognizing the validity of her statement.

"True, and it highlights the very obvious nature of my point." There were several blank expressions to indicate his point was anything but obvious, at least to anyone else in the room. Shiki-kun sighed once again, a sound resonating with such disappointment that several clones blushed in shame at not having the same powers of deduction.

"He's saying that there is nothing we can do because there's nothing we _need_ to do." This statement flung into the middle of the family huddle by the resonating bass of the resident whack-a-doodle drew another intonation from the bald monk, a gently-curving tug at the corner of Shiki-kun's mouth, and stunned silence from most of the remaining audience. This lasted all of twenty seconds before the clone wearing a sea-blue battle robe over a crimson red underrobe darted quickly over to the entrance to frantically snatch up a wooden geta so that he could slap it alongside his own noggin with a far-off gaze to his eyes… eyes pointed somewhere beyond the ceiling of Naruto's apartment. He then proceeded to wander in small circles around the tiny kitchenette table bobbing his head to some secret conversation accompanied by the occasional grunt of acceptance. "Unh… _Hai! Hai!..._ Unh…I'll take five bowls please."

Everyone else chose (wisely) to continue disregarding the eccentric clone, previously identified as Kenshin Uzumaki, and returned to the problem at hand.

"Why would I just sit here and accept whatever scraps the Council decides to throw me… us… whatever?" Despite how often he'd been assured that these disparate personalities were all pieces of his larger one, he still wasn't sure that this whole conversation didn't constitute some stressed-out mental relapse. He was even less sure that he wouldn't wake up either strapped to some science lab table any minute now or find himself bouncing around a cushy padded room with a tiny window and a personalized huggy jacket. He was having a hard time accepting advice from his own shattered personality.

"Consider this Naruto-sama, er…Naruto, every time we've felt the need to _do something_ it has ended badly, horribly for us… has it not?" Naruto's only response was to tilt his head to the side and scrunch his face into a facsimile of concentration. "Very well, I shall simplify the problem for us."

He held up a thumb. "Your plan to replace all the ANBU masks in the armory with edible fruit versions set us back thirty-thousand Ryu when Hokage-sama discovered the scheme." Naruto scowled indignantly.

"Oi! They enjoyed that holiday gift!" In retaliation, Shiki-kun let fly with his best, "are you bat-shit crazy" glare.

"They're still paying the Aburame Clan to routinely purge the barracks of ants every three months when they stumble across a stray mask. Additionally," his pointer finger joined the thumb in anarchy, "…dyeing the Nara herds festive holiday colors to increase their retail value was ill-received last year as your parting prank before deciding to buckle down in the academy."

The original merely grumbled about ungrateful slackers while the sympathetic red head gently chuckled and patted his hunched back.

"Let's just agree that the next twenty examples you've got listed are all going to end badly for us and move on to the meaningful lesson at the end of this sordid tale."

Naruto's eyes flickered to the brown-haired youth seated at the dining table that just spoke while watching the more eccentric crimson-maned sibling still talking animatedly into his wooden shoe. Naruto had used that very henge multiple times once he'd discovered his transformations were solid manifestations (Shiki-kun's word, not his) that allowed him to wander through his own village without hateful glares or outrageously inflated prices to things he generally needed to survive. He liked ramen, but he also realized early on that it wasn't a healthy lifestyle choice. Besides, eating meals with the ladies across the street had proven that he liked variety even more when it was well prepared.

As an added perk to the whole multiple personality crisis he was experiencing, he liked the doppelganger's reserved personality. It fit in well with his generic appearance and helped to blend in with the crowd when he was being chased by angry villagers.

Apparently, a calm and reserved demeanor didn't mean that particular clone was a fan of marathon-length meetings. They'd need to compress these better in the future… wait, what was he saying?

"As you wish, Nintai-kun." Shiki-kun turned back to Naruto with an upturned eyebrow as if to say, _'Need I say more?'_ forcing the exhausted shinobi to concede the point.

"Suffice to say, it is in our best interest to do nothing that would hinder our opportunities for amicable resolution of our plight until the Hokage has resolved the adverse impact of our actions this evening and levied appropriate reparations to all parties involved. Instead I suggest we focus on improving our current state of being and prepare to enact the best-case alternative, namely that of Naruto-sa… Naruto actually being confirmed as a Genin in the service of Konoha given that Iruka-sensei did bestow upon him the honorable mantle of achievement."

"Words… so many words," the original mumbled.

Naruto's expression was one of immense pain and confusion. Listening to Shiki-kun made his ears hurt and the grimace on his whiskered face clearly stated as much. Taking pity on the boy, the gorgeous creature to his left leaned in and whispered something he could make heads or tails of.

"He's saying not to be rash and wait for the decision. Acting hastily when we have no control or influence will only make things worse for us and might make the Council punish us just to make you suffer, and, if you suffer, we all suffer with you. Instead, let's assume that Iruka's hitai-ite on your forehead means we've passed finally and that we should take the week off they've given us and use it to train so that we're ready to get a team."

All of the clones had an identical metal plate strapped somewhere on their body. Shiki-kun had his wrapped around his left bicep. Kei-kun wore his around his waist as did the dark beauty leaning against the wall next to Naruko-chan (he really needed to learn her name). The walking-talking G.I. Joe action figure wore his around a bulging right bicep (really, just how did he get so buff anyway?) and his female twin and the taller nee-chan both wore theirs around their necks while Tai-kun mirrored Naruto and wore it strapped to his forehead. No one knew where the crazy red headed male wore his and none of them were very anxious to find out either. He just knew that they all had one… just like he did.

They were Genin now.

The sublime look of comprehension that melted across Naruto's face said more than any over emotional outburst he could provide. With a weary nod and a semi-conscious smile, the fatigued bundle of energy rose from the couch with a grunt and staggered into the back room. Not two seconds later the sound of his body flopping onto the rickety mattress echoed into the living room followed by the sounds of soft snoring. Not ten seconds later the soft laughter of all three females on and around the tattered sofa joined in the melodious serenade.

As if on some subliminal cue, all replicas not attempting to invasion-proof the small efficiency or arguing with their accessories turned their attention to the topknotted scholar of the bunch. It was the curvy blond female, however, that spoke first into the comfortable silence.

"How do we fix this, Shiki-kun?"

"You are assuming that I have the sole answer?" Several others nodded the affirmative. "Therein lies our first mistake."

Before they could bombard him with angry questions solving absolutely nothing, he gently raised a palm to indicate he would explain further begging an added moment of patience. Trying not to yell, which would disturb the Alpha, he padded silently to the bathroom, adeptly dodged the lobbed rubber ducky from the startled combatant, then motioned for said high-strung individual to rejoin the group.

"Now, I am willing to be the spokesman for our collective, however, we must understand that we are pieces of the greater whole and a successful plan supporting our leader will have to come from all sides. To that point, we are truly either in this together or not at all. I will not further hinder his already damaged psyche with additional chaos and confusion from us as we fail to come to a consensus and try to sabotage each other in some rabid bid to curry his favor." His open palm indicated the collective faces considering his words. Chishiki even noticed the normally deranged eyes of the wild-maned Uzumaki staring intently at the stoic ringleader with…interest dare he say?

One by one they locked eyes with the soft-spoken shadow clone and nodded their complicity, including even the psychopath bedecked in dark blue robes littered haphazardly with crimson swirls. With that final show of fidelity, he began to lay out his thoughts on the matter seeking prevalent input from his siblings.

"We need to understand what happened tonight and what the possible implications are. I need all of you to dissect, internalize and share your thoughts before we can lay out our plan." Tai-kun _tsked_ irritably but closed his eyes as they all turned inward to events that began with the failed academy finals and ended with a morning of startling revelations.

 **~Late the Previous Evening at the Hokage Mansion ~**

Slipping into the darkened office, Naruto paused long enough for his eyes to fully adjust to the dim light punctuated by erratic flashes of color from popping fireworks out over the training grounds on the eastern end of Konoha. Several shallow breaths slowed his thundering heart and allowed the nervously sweating boy to filter out the remaining sounds not tied to his own biology.

 _Ticking clock on the wall by jiji's office door…_

 _Voices outside belonging to drunken villagers…_

 _No extra heartbeats… good._

Pieces of the conversation with Mizuki flashed through his mind with disturbing clarity.

 _Mizuki composed himself quickly and toned down his eerie grin. "Funny you should ask that, Naruto. The ANBU have a special audition for prospective gains, one I think you shouldn't have any issues with since it's a test of stealth and mechanical skills."_

 _The exceedingly tall Chunin (Mizuki stood over two meters in height) conspiratorially wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulder only to remove it a second later when Naruto glared at the offending limb._

" _Ahem… right. Your test is to sneak into the Hokage Tower tonight and retrieve the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. You will have until midnight to remain uncaptured, learn any single jutsu on the scroll, and deliver it to the location indicated on this scroll." He held out a plain scroll sealed with a doodle resembling an unmarked ANBU mask, a clean slate if you will._

 _Naruto's normally exuberant face had collapsed into one of absolute skepticism. "Isn't that a bit extreme? Hokage Tower is the most heavily defended location in the village even without him there."_

 _Mizuki only chuckled in response. "It's good that you have done recon at some point and normally you'd be absolutely correct. Given that you've had a very trying day, I'll throw you a bone here." The older shinobi leaned in and lifted a hand so that he could "whisper" from behind it as he stooped down to his "accomplice."_

" _Where do you think everyone will be tonight now that graduation is over?"_

 _If sudden illumination had tactile sensations it would have weighed five hundred kilograms when it impacted Naruto's brain. Everyone would be partying tonight. It was the same every year since he could never find jiji the night off his past failures – his office would be locked tight. More than likely he'd be out helping Clan Heads celebrate the success of their heirs considering all of the major ones passed the exams. Now he just had to get in the office early enough to see jiji and rig his failsafe._

Pulling the window back towards the sill without securing it, the social outcast crept in a low crouch towards the Shodaime's portrait. Adept fingers slid up the nearest edge until sensitive pads brushed against the indention near the upper right corner. With one last glance over his shoulder at the locked office door, he depressed the recessed switch and clenched his teeth as the hidden doorway slid open on the far side of the frame. Ducking down to keep his profile hidden from the wandering ANBU patrols across the way, he scampered through the portal and up the spiral staircase as the timer unwound sliding the secret entrance closed once again with a soft click.

He hated doing this to jiji but he needed this chance. Besides, if everything went smoothly, he'd be back with the scroll before anyone knew it was gone.

Up the stairs he streaked, his feet lightly tapping on the outer edges of the wooden steps to prevent unnecessary creaking – better to not take unnecessary chances. Many a proven shinobi in their case studies had been caught through overconfidence and he harbored absolutely no desire to join the sad statistical lineup. Up into the well-lit domed cavern he bounded looking for two things: a patrol indicating his thirty-two-minute window to get in and get out had somehow expired, and the rather large scroll in the center of the large cavern resting peacefully in its cradled display.

Pausing just long enough to confirm his was the only heartbeat in the chamber, Naruto pulled out a small tactical light and flashed it along the podium's base, sides and molded cradle looking for alarm seals painted similar in color to the taupe-colored baluster.

" _I cannot stress this enough, Naruto. If you get caught, this conversation never happened. ANBU will disavow administering this test and you'll be left to twist in the wind, understand?" Naruto grimaced with the distasteful notion._

" _That sounds awfully convenient to me…Mizuki-sensei." He hated the display of deference but couldn't afford insulting the insufferable bastard._

" _Unfortunately, it's life, Naruto. You think the Hokage can acknowledge your actions if you're caught in another village on a high-risk spying or infiltration mission? You'd be disavowed and left to rot in order to preserve Konoha. Every ANBU knows this when they swear the oath." He paused to glance sideways at the youth, his mouth twisted in that insufferable smirk he'd worn all year long. "It's not too late to back out." Mizuki started to slowly lift up the scroll he'd been offering but Naruto reached out to snag it before the document could disappear._

" _No, I understand the risks." Mizuki wasn't wrong. He hated the concept even if he understood the necessity of it. ANBU didn't live a glamorous life…or even a long one at that._

There were several seals along the sides of the small column and one just under the cradle itself. Knowing that he could foil the chakra sensors simply by not using any, Naruto shrugged and pulled a fist-sized bag out of his right rear carrier pouch.

Most thieves good enough to sneak into this place without knowledge of the layout and security measures would use chakra to access the sides of the building, locate the hidden lever and uncloak in or around the pedestal leading to the silent alarms which would alert brutally efficient ANBU responders. Their typical response time was two and a half minutes meaning that detection, if not outright capture, was a sure bet. He idly wondered why people often neglected the old tried and true methods in favor of flashy techniques before shrugging off the obvious answer.

Despite how accomplished shinobi were at infiltration, they were in their hearts lazy and that oft bred complacency leading to incompetence. Give him an old-fashioned snatch and grab any day.

Hefting the bean bag experimentally, Naruto very gently bunched up the attached strap secured to the outer scroll case while placing the weighted parcel a hair's breadth above the proximity seal. Counting deliberately to three, his left arm heaved on the scroll while the right simultaneously deposited the decoy directly onto the seal. With the scroll case swinging back and forth off to his side and his free hand hovering over the new replacement, Naruto flicked his eyes briefly left to right while he confirmed no errant chakra discharges fired off before backing away from the podium. Turning to exit quickly, he paused as his eyes spied a similar podium not five meters from this one with three gold-ringed scrolls draped in black cases… and froze.

The swirl on each case was the same one that adorned most of his gear but that was not what caused the hesitation. No, what froze him in place were the four words in crimson script beneath the pyramidal pile of parchment which read:

" _Property of Clan Uzumaki"_

~III~

 **~Elsewhere Inside Hokage Mansion ~**

Hiruzen Sarutobi could not stop mulling over the passionate argument he'd all but discounted as smothering concern from an overly-protective adopted sister. He watched over Naruto as often as he could, and the boy seemed as well-adjusted as could be expected given his circumstance. Certainly, the early years were rough but protective measures had been put firmly in place and what could be done without upsetting the cabbage cart had been done.

He loved his surrogate grandson but a Hokage must consider the greater good first. He would make it up to the boy later… perhaps take him for some of that pleasant-tasting ramen he favored so well and discuss perhaps an apprenticeship with his wayward godfather. Jiraiya would be here in a few weeks and, although resistant once before to the option, this would be the only way to keep Danzo and the Council from latching on to the boy and making him into the mindless weapon he feared Naruto would someday become.

Pausing to stretch his weary bones, and sighing ecstatically as his spinal column snapped, crackled and popped into alignment, a tired old man resumed his trek up one more flight of stairs to his office. Yes, one more quick glance to see how his despondent charge was holding up and then he would officially retire to his chambers for one last pipe, his favorite fuzzy gorilla feet slippers, and the next chapter of his favorite guilty pleasure.

He hoped Professor Shimuzen could finally woo the recalcitrant Mistress Nenkurai. Their blistering war of emotions had dragged on for so long and he felt the brave master soldier was very near a shocking breakthrough.

Tittering with anticipatory excitement, Hiruzen opened the door to his office pausing to flick on the light switch only to freeze once he heard the startled gasp of the dark garbed figure silently closing the secret hatch leading to the Hokage's personal library.

~III~

Naruto's mouth was suddenly quite dry. No, dry would be an understatement. Parched like the deserts in the Land of Wind would be more accurate.

How many times had he asked, no begged his adopted grandfather for some small bit of his family history? How many times had he been told that it was all lost in the Kyuubi's attack fourteen years ago? How many times had he been lied to? Why was he lied to? More importantly, what the hell was in these scrolls?

Something was tugging on the back of his mind, a feeling of urgency… a nervous itch he just couldn't quite scratch. He stood there warring with a growing sense of outrage seeking to overpower that increasing sense of panic. In the end, his anger fueled his nervous dread turning both into frantic motion.

Reach a momentous tactical decision, Naruto shoved the three ebony rolls of parchment into the largely empty storage scroll in his thigh holster ignoring the tingling sensation in his palm when he lifted them and sprinted down the spiral staircase. He never noticed the nondescript seal slowly fading out of existence in the center of the pedestal.

He needed air. He needed room to breathe. He needed to make it to his rendezvous before he blew his last chance. He could yell at Hokage-jiji when things blew over.

It was as he clicked the portrait lever allowing him to re-close the secret door that the lights popped on in the room and everything turned to nin-ken poop.

~III~

As if the figure being there wasn't shocking enough, the easily identifiable scroll strapped across its back was. When the figure turned about, Hiruzen grumbled at the very effective tactical gear breaking up his form and color. He couldn't see much as the only exposed flesh were the finger tips extending from the metal-reinforced fingerless gloves. The head was encapsulated in slate-grey cloth and a thin veil of black covered the eyes. To break up the matching swath of dark material, black tactical boots, black belt pouches, black thigh holsters, and black utility straps crisscrossed most of the figure's legs, hips, and back. The only distinguishing feature was the forbidden scroll which drew the old man's eyes like a blinking neon sign. Releasing some of his formidable killer intent into the air as he unsealed his favorite bo staff, Hiruzen addressed the thief he was about to kill.

"You have five seconds to place that scroll on the floor and surrender peacefully. I'd hate to leave a bloody mess for the staff to clean tomorrow."

Naruto swallowed. Hard. The overwhelming pressure was more than he'd ever experienced, and it nearly seized up his body. The reverse vacuum sound followed by the "click" of his grandfather's favorite melee weapon snatched his eyesight like a cobra rising from the floor. He'd seen the old man practice with that before and knew that he could shatter solid wood posts with the metal reinforcement bands at either end.

If the old man ever struck him with it there would be no second chance.

Gulping once again without the accompanying spit to ease his now scratchy throat, Naruto did the only thing he could think of and surged a crap-ton of chakra through every tenketsu in his body. He had to mold and push it without seals to prevent alerting the old man resulting in his body literally exploding with chakra.

The old man himself paused his pending charge and waited patiently for the smoke to clear, his eyes taking in the only two escape options (the office windows) for the thief since he was blocking access to the door. When the smoke began to fade, Hiruzen's back stiffened, his face burst into a deep crimson shade, and his staff clattered harmlessly to the wooden floor. Two seconds later the man himself followed the lethal instrument in a gushing trail of blood as the naked beauty emerging from the cloud of smoke daintily covered her naked extremities in a powerful display of ' _help-me-I'm-trapped no jutsu_ ,' a woman's greatest weapon against all closet perverts.

A whispered, "Princess Tsuna" trailed from his lips as he passed into blessed unconsciousness.

Oddly enough, there was a second "thud" as another figure garbed in ANBU robes and body armor shimmered into view and tumbled to the floor near the windows bordering the main street. Naruto held in his laughter as best he could (snickering and giggling hysterically counts, right?) as he noticed the trails of blood leaking from under the ANBU's mask. Rushing over to make sure his grandfather hadn't died of a stroke or something similar, the lanky teen dropped his henge and slipped silently out the back window used for his earlier entrance. Leaping over the rear balcony, he darted to the nearest manhole cover, worked his way down the access ladder, then along the sewer path highlighted on his laminated forearm kneeboards as he raced to the abandoned clearing marked on the southwestern section of his map.

If he could avoid capture, he'd have at least two hours to deal with the scroll before Mizuki showed up.

~III~

Anko had no idea what the hell was going on and, for the moment, she could have cared less. When her ANBU tattoo began pulsing out the critical "OMEGA-ONE-ONE-NINE" code it meant only one thing; Get your tail back to Hokage Tower ASAP. Do not pass go, do not pick up that late-night dango special to go box order you were about to place. Everything else became unimportant.

When she got there, groups of shinobi were streaking both into and out of the place. From the street, she could see every light blaring in the mission hall and dashed into the building fairly confident that answers awaited her in that rather large meeting room.

Now Anko had seen a lot in her twenty almost twenty-one years of life. She'd seen the great fall. She'd seen a towering fox rampage and nearly destroy her home. She'd seen an entire village descend into madness over a baby and threaten bloody vengeance on that defenseless child. But nothing she'd seen to date could have prepared her for what was going on in the mission center once she stepped through the doorway.

 _'Is that Iruka coordinating…whatever this is?'_

The scar-faced Chunin was organizing groups of Chunin and Jounin into search packs and appointing them to different sectors of the village. For some reason, Boar was updating the map with each assignment looking sheepish while doing it.

 _'Wow… this must be every higher-ranked shinobi in the village.'_ And indeed, it had been with new gains filling in almost as quickly as search parties fled through the doors and back into Konoha's night air.

 _'Why is the Hokage in a bathrobe? Also, are those bloody tissues wadded up in his nostrils? What the f-.'_

She never finished that thought as Iruka noticed her at that moment and snatched her up into a team with her buddy Yugao and her boyfriend Hayate. They were being assigned the Hokage monument. Before streaking off with her team, she glanced back to the Sandaime who was glancing down at a folded piece of paper in his left hand, his right cradling his unlit pipe as his brow knotted up in concentration.

 **~At an Undisclosed Secret Meeting Place ~**

" _Memorize this location. You have until I arrive at midnight to learn any single jutsu from the scroll. If it takes you too long to obtain the mission objective, that time will of course be deducted from your available time to learn a jutsu. Failure to do so will result in failing this exam. Bonus points will be awarded if the jutsu learned addresses a perceived skill shortage in your current training. Are we clear?"_

The Kyuubi vessel landed at the end of the clearing and cleared his mind feeling more and more like the duped dobe his classmate routinely claimed him to be. While the rules Mizuki spouted in a hushed whisper seemed semi-legitimate, something seemed off-kilter. He couldn't shake the smarmy feel the overly friendly teacher gave him, but he'd deal with that when the time came.

For now, he needed to focus on the task at hand.

Reaching out with senses he knew to be better than the average ninja, he scanned the tree line searching for other human scents or heartbeats. It was a monumental task for the hyperactive teen and those five minutes seemed to drag on forever. Satisfied that he was truly alone, Naruto immediately dashed across the clearing and into the abandoned shack through a partially-collapsed sidewall.

Settling into the inch-thick layer of dust, Naruto laid out an ink bottle, several brushes, four blank scrolls, then popped the disposable marker light to provide enough illumination to read by. Even though his night vision was leagues better for some strangely bizarre reason, most likely Kyuubi influenced if he thought long enough about it, there could be no mistakes tonight. The soft glow of the night stick was a necessary risk he'd suffer through. Taking one last deep breath, he flipped open the scroll and began perusing the first quarter of the scroll and the three dozen detailed explanations of the secret treasures therein.

Skimming past the _Jiongu_ (ugh, that sounded both painful and disgusting), then ignoring several suicidal techniques he didn't particularly want to end his life for, Naruto groaned as he saw several bunshin-related jutsus. Gritting his teeth with annoyance and trying not to bang his forehead against the dirty wooden floor, he prepared to do battle with his greatest nemesis and copied the nine separate bunshin jutsu in the replicant family.

For good measure, he copied down a few others that seemed interesting enough to look into later before he ran out of room. There were two from his hero that named him, one section dealing with unique Uzumaki _kekke genkai_ (no training methods, only basic descriptions unfortunately), and a quick section detailing generic information on summoning contracts complete with hand seals. It was a treasure trove of information he'd probably never get the chance to see again so he'd be damned if he didn't use this opportunity to his advantage.

Hell… he even wrote on both sides of the scroll once the ink dried on the front.

Glancing nervously at his nearly destroyed watch, he panicked seeing only thirty minutes left before his meet up. Rolling up the forbidden treasure trove, Naruto stuffed three of the now full copy scrolls into his storage seal, replacing it in his thigh holster, then cracked open his notes on the Kage Bunshin. According to the long-winded description, the jutsu required tons of chakra and, logically speaking, had the best chance for him to master it. He could only see one hand seal, and the technique came with a ton of added benefits with clones solid enough to match his own henge.

Vowing to reread the warnings and caveats section of the high-ranking clone jutsu, he sealed this final scroll with the first three then stowed away his supplies. Moving outside the hut and away from the scroll, he found a corner of the clearing suitable for training purposes. With a budding sense of dread, Naruto grit his teeth and began molding chakra.

~III~

Falling on his rear near the small cabin, the now scuffed and slightly tired Naruto Uzumaki glanced once more at his barely-functional wristwatch noting he still had five minutes to spare. As a totally random idea burst into his head, he made the mental note to purchase a new one after being accepted into the ANBU. It would be a graduation present.

It was a happy flickering of the mind brought on by successful completion of a mission, his first. His mental wanderings trailed off as he heard the rapidly approaching, and highly agitated heartbeat of his (only) favorite instructor, Iruka Umino, as the teacher landed with a thud next to him in the clearing.

"NARUTO!" The blond boy blinked in surprise even as he rose to address his teacher.

"Wow, didn't know the ANBU roped you in to this exam." His smile seemed so genuine.

Iruka's anger evaporated in shocked confusion but the clearly excited student… former student… pushed on without catching the shift. "Are they gonna let you stay once the proctor verifies that I've passed and get sworn to duty?"

At this, Iruka's floored look of exasperation became painfully evident.

"What… what are you talking about, Naruto?" He hated to see the boy's satisfied smile fade, but he needed him to understand the seriousness of the situation.

"I'm here because the Hokage called out a massive search after someone stole the Forbidden Scroll of Seals and Mizuki swore before the Hokage and remaining shinobi present that he'd seen someone streaking through the streets with it…someone in dark gray clothes and shockingly bright hair." Iruka didn't see the scroll nearby but that meant little to a trained shinobi.

Naruto's smile crumbled the remaining distance into a vicious scowl.

"Yeah… I figured his story was too good to be true…isn't that right, Mizuki-teme?" The boy's once warm azure orbs dulled somewhat before glancing over Iruka's shoulder and into the nearby treeline. Unfortunately, the only response came in the form of several kunai. The flying projectiles pinned the teacher to the rickety shack as the sender leaped into view.

"Aaah, the Kyuubi and it's race-trading sympathizer. I look forward to killing you both and making a name for myself when I deliver the scroll to my master." Iruka sucked air in through his teeth trying to ignore the pain from the kunai stuck in his right shoulder; he'd managed to narrowly avoid several resulting in his pinned position vice death, however, the one piercing his shoulder hurt like a-.

"You…want to forfeit… your head… Mizuki? You know the law." Deranged laughter answered back.

"I am above that stupid law, isn't that right Kyuubi?" Naruto shook his head at the pathetic man.

"I'm not the Kyuubi, teme. He's locked behind this seal safe and sound." Naruto gently patted his stomach as he watched comprehension dawn on Mizuki's mug. He wanted to turn and see Iruka's face, but he knew better than to take his eyes off of the homicidal lunatic in front of him. Instead he slowly angled away from the shack and the trapped Iruka. He did catch the man's hushed, "You know…" as he gained some space to work but they'd deal with that later.

It was a good thing he moved as the traitor snarled and launched the first of two fuma shuriken in his direction forcing the youth to jump clear and draw a pair of kunai. Mizuki unsheathed his second fuma before leaping down to engage.

Conversation was not high on his list of priorities if the snarling mask on his face was any indication. Kunai clashed with folded fuma shuriken as the two collided, Naruto realizing very quickly that he lacked both the power and the speed to deal with the larger threat, a lesson Mizuki reinforced with a powerful sidekick to the boy's midsection.

Sliding to a stop, Naruto glanced up from the muddy trenches leading to his boots and into the smug face of his would-be murderer… and smiled. Not wanting to enjoy an epic beatdown hoping to stage a major comeback (that never happened in real life), he crossed his fingers in his newest jutsu seal and pushed… hard. When the smoke cleared, several hundred copies of himself roared at the stunned academy instructor and charged.

All across the clearing could be heard the sounds of meaty fists impacting on flesh, the girlish screams of one Mizuki Hirayoshi like a soothing lullaby to the now smiling senior instructor as he slowly freed himself from the kunai piercing his clothing and flesh.

 **~In Naruto's Apartment Shortly After Five in the Morning ~**

As the last pair of eyes opened, Chishiki felt the pull on his chakra tether back to the original. They had a few hours left at best which meant just enough time to lay out a basic plan of action. The Boss would certainly have more questions, questions they couldn't fully answer just yet, and he hoped to buy time for them to find those solutions. For now, they needed to begin the haphazard work of repairing his sketchy self-esteem, so they could further repair the horrific damage wrought on Naruto Uzumaki by the village, in general, and the academy, in particular.

"Kemuri-kun," Chishiki began causing the grunt-like clone to snap to attention. Several, including Chishiki himself, quickly pressed fingers to lips shushing the easily excitable soldier before he could bellow out his next, "Sir! Yes Sir!" which he had begun inhaling copious amounts of oxygen to do. In response to the immaculately coiffured militant's confused and silent question, Chishiki merely placed his palms together and alongside his now tilted head as he closed his eyes moments before pointing to the back bedroom and the sleeping progenitor of their gaggle of misfits. Kemuri's mouth expanded into an understanding, "Oooooooooh" before snapping and thumping a salute to his chest indicating that he understood.

Similarities between Kemuri and one Lee Rock sprang immediately to Chishiki's swirling chakra brain. Startling similarities to say the least…

"Sir, understood, Sir," came the harshly-whispered acknowledgement before the Wudang disciple continued on.

"We need a training plan for boss and it must include all aspects of the shinobi profession, even the ones he's terrible at." Everything Kemuri did was sharp and snappy, even when he nodded in understanding. Naruko could literally hear the swooshing air as he transitioned from various states of rest to perfect attention. Often she wondered how he failed to snap his own spinal column with every terse sign of recognition bobbing out from his horse-like neck.

Must have been the muscles. Heck, even his muscles had muscles. She could only hope his brain was similarly outfitted or this training plan would be disastrous on multiple fronts.

Fuukushuu-chan spoke up for the second time that morning. "You realize he'll be horrible at Genjutsu. My specialty will be all but useless to us unless I'm in control and that will never happen with the furball in there." Her silky curtain of dark hair waived as her chin lilted in the direction of the only bedroom.

"True," Chishiki agreed, "…but you can teach him to break the mind lock, which is a useful skill to have." She nodded thoughtfully as Kemuri's eyes took in each meeting attendee with singular resolve.

Soon enough, orders began to flow out from the group tactician and, with the help of Fuu-chan liberating Naruto's froggy wallet from his discarded trousers, Tai-kun and Naruko (who once again groused about hating her name and their chosen moniker for the Boss) were dispatched on needed supply runs. Kemuri vanished quickly looking for isolated training sites that might be of use. Making use of his remaining time, Chishiki darted off to the library with a now emptied storage scroll for his task list and Kushi-chan began cleaning up the raggedy apartment with help from the remaining duplicates barring the eccentric red head in robes; he simply vanished once a plan began to form.

As a group, they had a lot of work to do before next Friday when an answer was expected from the Hokage.

 **~Lunchtime at Yakiniku Q ~**

"Gaaah! I can't believe our team assignments got postponed until the week after!" Ino Yamanaka, beautiful kunoichi that she was, was having some difficulty with the delivered missive from the school house that arrived first thing in the morning for her father. Said missive stated that all normally scheduled academic events were being shoved off while the Hokage dealt with some sort of security breach that happened last night and that normal operations were expected to resume in no more than two weeks.

Academy students were expected to maintain their current level of readiness in preparation for team assignments and, as an added bonus, their graduating class would be expanded from eleven to twelve. The last part was a boon as it meant even team numbers but Ino Yamanaka hated to wait almost as much as she hated secrets. This whole affair screamed prime gossip material if you asked her and, if you did, she'd be more than happy to share her thoughts on the matter with you post-haste.

Shikamaru Nara glanced up worriedly at the young debutante and frowned as she angrily stabbed several pieces of meet sizzling over the grating and muttered a terse, "troublesome" in her direction, which earned him a glaring response in return.

"What Shika?!" The boy gave what approximated as a smirk in his book.

"You're just mad because your favorite boy toy isn't here to celebrate. You're too troublesome to care about actual shinobi work since you'll more than likely get swept up into T&I to eventually replace your old man. The rest of us will have to deal with this long after you're gone."

If she could have thrown the tongs at him right at that moment without having to replace them, she would have. It didn't change the fact that he was right, but women everywhere had to keep annoying boys from gaining the upper hand. She was pretty sure it was like an unwritten rule or a by-law or something. Instead she squirted him with the spritz bottle used to keep the coals nice and smoky.

"Let it go, Ino-pig. It's not like you're going to take him from me anyway."

The snarling and forehead shoving going on between the two fangirls of the group was lost to the pineapple haired slacker. Proving yet again his indomitable will to enshrine laziness personified, he allowed the water droplets on his face to run, drip or air dry since it was too troublesome to be bothered with wiping them away himself. Instead he turned his considerable intellect towards what he heard from his father that morning and engaged his fellow Genin to see what they thought.

"Troublesome that Naruto was involved in the security incident."

Sakura and Ino both scoffed joining Kiba's raucous laughter. Normally those three dogpiled on the troubled orphan far too much for his liking. He was a good guy in the Nara's book, often working the herds to make extra cash from his clan. He was a reliable, dependable, and strong proponent in your corner if you were ever in a tight spot. Shika felt he got way too much crap than he deserved.

"Don't tell me you believed he helped the school weed out some traitor?" Sakura's indignant snort at the end of her own question told him what he needed to hear from her.

"That loser! He probably caused the incident trying to prank the office and his adoptive grandfather is trying to pull his sorry ass out of the fire again!" Choji's angry eating hinted at his displeasure. Being the soft-hearted guy that he was, he liked Naruto and wasn't too enamored with people sandbagging him. Shika caught the gesture of solidarity but said nothing.

A quick glance at Shino confirmed the boy's neutral stance on the matter. He'd wait to hear more information before leaning one way or the other but at least he would keep an open mind and not belittle their fallen classmate. Shika flickered his attention back to the snickering girls as the fair mind walker started up again.

"That's one thing we all agree on. That failure is more trouble than he's worth and it's a good thing he's been left behind."

That did it. Actually, exerting the effort to raise his body up from the booth, Shikamaru rose to the shocked faces of his more boisterous teammates and jammed his hands into conveniently located pockets as he calmly exited the restaurant. In silent agreement, Choji actually left with him leaving a small wad of Ryu to cover his tab.

For some reason, much to the shocked silence of the Pinkette, the mouthy Blond, and the Flea Bag, he'd suddenly lost his appetite. Must have been the rank company.

It didn't matter much anyway. They'd all learn the truth in a few weeks.

~III~


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Received a concerned "guest" review hoping that this wasn't another _'Clones go crazy and do their own thing'_ kind of story. Well, this was never planned to be a "Clones Gone Wild" story but I'm not going to reveal any more than that. If you want to know how the story goes, you'll need to follow along… and perhaps bring sugar cookies to share with the other kids (not those icky icing covered ones either. I've been known to withhold the apple cider for those sorts of infractions!)

To the angry person ranting about the hypocrisy of me not calling out Naruto's outing as a Jinchuriki (while all of the others were secret), what do you call the entire hidden village of Suna knowing EXACTLY who their jinchuuriki was? Or the vast majority of Iwa's shinobi knowing who their two were? Of all of Kumo knowing of their two "heroic defenders were?"

Methinks you doth protest too much, brave unknown guest. Let not your righteous rage blind you to the truth of canon. My goal is never to be better as I'm not a professional writer in any way shape or form; my goal is to be different and I think I manage that well enough.

Also, I'm not too happy with this chapter. While filler is necessary at times, it can be tedious. Besides, the material didn't seem to want to flow together no matter how often I rewrote it. Guess we'll just have to push through…

Let's see how our stalwart shinobi is doing since our last visit, shall we?

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

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 **A/N: Updated Feb 21, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another.**

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 _ **Notice:**_ **While I neglected to mention this at the beginning of the story, I own no part of** _ **Naruto,**_ **any of its off-shoots or derivatives, nor do I own any portion of** _ **Is It Wrong to Try to Pick up Girls In a Dungeon.**_ **They remain the sole property of their creators and are used or referenced here solely for entertainment purposes without intent to acquire profit in any way, shape or form** _ **. 'Nuff said.**_

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 _ **Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans of Clones and Men**_

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 **~ Previously on** _ **No More…**_

 **With the Clone Gang:** _"We need a training plan for boss and it must include all aspects of the shinobi profession, even the ones he's terrible at." Everything Kemuri did was sharp and snappy, even when he nodded in understanding. Naruko could literally hear the swooshing air as he transitioned from various states of rest to perfect attention. Often she wondered how he failed to snap his own spinal column with every terse sign of recognition bobbing out from his horse-like neck._

 _Must have been the muscles. Heck, even his muscles had muscles. She could only hope his brain was similarly outfitted or this training plan would be disastrous on multiple fronts._

~III~

 **With the Rookie 10:** _A quick glance at Shino confirmed the boy's neutral stance on the matter. He'd wait to hear more information before leaning one way or the other but at least he would keep an open mind and not belittle their fallen classmate. Shika flickered his attention back to the snickering girls as the fair mind walker started up again._

" _That's one thing well all agree on. That failure is more trouble than he's worth and it's a good thing he's been left behind."_

 _That did it. Actually, exerting the effort to raise his body up from the booth, Shikamaru rose to the shocked faces of his more boisterous teammates and jammed his hands into conveniently located pockets as he calmly exited the restaurant. In silent agreement, Choji actually left with him leaving a small wad of Ryu to cover his tab._

 _For some reason, much to the shocked silence of the Pinkette, the mouthy Blond, and the Flea Bag, he'd suddenly lost his appetite. Must have been the rank company._

 _It didn't matter much anyway. They'd all learn the truth in a few weeks._

 **~ Late Saturday Morning in the Hokage's Office ~**

Hiruzen Sarutobi's jaw was ajar. To be fair, it wasn't as if someone, namely Konoha's foremost practitioner of psychology and min-related jutsus, had just finished telling him that his surrogate grandson, and container of the deadliest of all demon lords – the Kyuubi, would have to be shelved unless they could do something about it. Or had he?

With more inherent calm than he felt at the moment, the Sandaime Hokage fished his well-worn pipe out of his own lap and fumbled with one of the long-stem matches in his desk drawer to light it. He didn't particularly trust himself with fire related jutsus at the moment.

Once flame caught the tobacco, the older veteran drew in several soothing breaths as he pushed as much of the mellowing smoke into his lungs as he could in half a dozen seconds.

"Surely, it's not as bad as all that, Inoichi. Many of our shinobi have held together quite well with their… unique… quirks. Perhaps this is just how Naruto manifests his own coping mechanism?" Tired yet hopeful eyes begged, no pleaded with the steady ice blue pair from across the desk.

"Hokage-sama, this goes far beyond Kakashi's obsession with pornography or Gai's fetish with "youth" and lime green spandex paired with bowl cuts. The only reason it has not become more of an issue with someone as powerful as the vessel is because none of these clones have manifested an overly aggressive or evil presence. The sad reality, not possibility, is that one already exists and is simply biding its time until all emotional barriers erected by Naruto to keep his few precious people safe, and I mean very few fall into that elite group, have eroded through this village's continued neglect and abuse." Inoichi rose and bowed awaiting the Hokage's final questions or comments adding one final comment before preparing to leave.

"It's become painfully clear that, without help, it will happen sooner rather than later and then you're going to have a second coming of the Kyuubi on your hands. Do you really think we can defeat it a second time?"

Hiruzen shook his head in dismay. Though he was once more than prepared to use the _Shiki Fuuin_ to seal away the Kyuubi in the Yondaime's place, it would better serve Konoha to delay that official duty as long as possible. _'How heavy hangs the crown…'_ There would be no ready replacement this time.

"How do you propose we delay the second coming of the apocalypse, Inoichi?" Taking up his pipe, the most powerful shinobi in Konoha prepared himself for harsh negotiations concerning his adopted grandson.

"For starters Hokage-sama, the boy needs to be freed from his isolation. He needs friends to help him deal with the past traumas of his life." Hiruzen's face twisted up in annoyance.

"I've done all I can to keep trauma from his life. Surely, you're mistaken, Inoichi-." The blond clan head reached into the carrier's pouch resting against the leg of his chair and dropped a large stack of printouts on the desk, a stack at least an inch thick stopping the Hokage's denial mid-rant.

"What is this?" Despite the question, Hiruzen had a feeling that he didn't need an answer nor would like the one proffered.

"That, my dear Hokage-sama, is every incident of cruel and unusual treatment I was able to dredge up when you asked me to dive his mind after the Mizuki incident. While there are the odd incidents of physical trauma, bullying, poisoning, burning, and assassination attempts – those beginning as early as his second year in the orphanage," the Hokage turned green with nausea, "…the are in fact a very small minority. The greater margin are emotional and intellectual abuse." The Hokage's curiosity was piqued.

"Abuse…from whom?" This time it was Inoichi's face that twisted into a mask of hatred.

"It would be better to list those that haven't treated him with disdain and neglect, Hokage-sama." You could have pushed over the Hokage with a gentle breeze at that point. It was if all the failures of his life flooded his vision with those damnable words. As his eyes flickered down to the incriminating pile of hatred he'd have to later read in detail, Inoichi listed off the small handful of people that had shown compassion to the one person in Konoha that deserved it more than any other.

The list was pitifully small including a ramen chef and his daughter, an armorer and his apprentice, his final academy instructor, the madame of a brothel plus her staff, and a few ANBU he knew and trusted all too well. That was it. In a village of over two-hundred thousand people, that was it.

Something else began to replace that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Rage.

"I will leave you to these reports for details, Hokage-sama, but I wish to share two things. I will dedicate a session each week to the boy. Additionally, I'd like to request you appoint Kurenai Yuhi as his instructor." Old tired eyes snapped up from the intimidating stack of paper in confusion. "It's simple really. Though she's not the best choice to teach the boy in the combative arts, she has the nurturing nature needed to steer him to the right path without coddling him. Assign a secondary instructor if you must, perhaps a special Jounin, but steer him away from a male sensei, at least initially." The Sandaime's expression clearly stated, _'Explain please.'_

"While the abuse and neglect he's suffered over the years hasn't been limited to males, he's had more positive responses from females and will most likely respond better." Before the Hokage could object to that line of reasoning, Inoichi plowed on. "Response to authority isn't the issue. We want him to respond to treatment and he won't at all if he feels threatened or that he can't trust his team. Conversations with my daughter have revealed a deep-seated hatred-slash-rivalry between the Uzumaki and the Uchiha, one further exacerbated by the fact that Naruto has won the vast majority of their spars at the academy. Placing those two together is a recipe for angst, mistrust and disfunction."

Though he felt defeated at the recommendation, Hiruzen nodded in acknowledgment as Inoichi Yamanaka bowed to take his leave.

Hiruzen thanked him for coming in early on a Saturday morning to share his initial findings on Naruto's evaluation, standard procedure really following a traumatic event like the one he experienced the night before. The boy would need those regular visits with Inoichi if half of what he'd heard was true. They needed to get a handle on this quickly, long before people like Danzo could get word of the situation.

"That reminds me…" With a practiced flick of his wrist, a kunai shot across the room and imbedded itself up to the ring inside the wall centered between portraits of a younger Sandaime and a grinning Yondaime Hokage. He grinned deep in satisfaction as a deep crimson liquid began to pour out of the gap in the wall as the blade began to slide its way down the wall assisted by the dead weight of the Root spy on the other side.

He would need to get that hidden passage sealed up before too long. Danzo was becoming far too bold in his old age. First, he'd need to get the body taken away and summon his Jounin to discuss team assignments this year…

 **~ Naruto's Apartment~**

' _It looks like he's coming 'round.'_

' _Nearly so. Are we prepared to begin the program?'_

' _Sir, Yes Sir!...Sorry, Sir.'_ The sleeping Genin hopeful winced as he slowly turned over, his legs tangled up in the sheets of his dilapidated bed.

' _Perhaps we should start on Monday. He doesn't look healthy at all.'_

' _Perhaps…'_ Naruto sat up in bed, one hand sleepily wiping away the crusted-over grime from his eyelids.

' _At a minimum, we need to explain the plan today. He needs to get to work as soon as possible and there is so little time.'_

' _Amii-tooooouuu-fooo!'_ – Clap!

' _Agreed, Keihatsu-kun. Agreed.'_

Naruto opened his eyes and blinked sleepily as he scanned his desolate bedroom. Other than his clothes neatly piled in one corner and his battered alarm clock, he couldn't see the faces belonging to the voices banging around in his ears. Still not quite awake, he chalked it up to a fading dream and staggered into the bathroom to begin his morning ablutions.

' _Eeeep!'_

' _Embarassed, Ruko-chan?'_ Naruto paused for half a second to glance around one last time. On impulse, he slid closed the clouded glass window, small as it was, in the bathroom.

With another stiff yawn, he reached behind the toilet, disabled the flush-triggered kunai launcher before jostling the flush handle after taking care of business. With almost lethargic familiarity, he re-engaged the trap and started the shower head after disconnecting the electric leads. While the water warmed up, he brushed his teeth and checked the condition of his elongated canines. He was proud of his smile and enjoyed the unnerving affect it had on his enemies. Rolling out of the shower fifteen minutes later he dressed and staggered into the kitchen disarming the remote trigger for the embedded explosive notes before opening the fridge for his pre-packed breakfast and a fresh carton of milk.

After turning away from the chill box, he froze. Setting down his bounty for the morning, Naruto opened the fridge again and noticed that it was full of fresh food, not the rotten crap he usually got sold. Furthermore, most of it was healthy crap… unless you checked the ice box and noted the tubs of ice cream and other frozen items. As he gently closed the door and reset the trigger switch, he smiled from ear to ear as he turned back to the milk and checked the date stamped in blue ink near the cardboard spout.

It was fresh. It was freshly-stocked as in just-placed-in-the-grocer-freezer fresh.

Crossing his fingers as he focused on a very specific group of faces. Whispering out what was becoming his favorite phrase, eight familiar puffs of smoke filled his living room revealing Chishiki and his motley crew of clones.

"Alright, tell me what the hell is going on. No bullshit."

So, Chishiki explained the whole plan. He shared how they'd broken up his personal training plan into sections overseen by clones assigned to time blocks throughout the day. This meant that Naruto's day would be starting awfully early, but the topknot-clad blond couched this as the only way to correct the six years of sabotage inflicted by the academy if he was to have any chance of not dying painfully on his first real mission. To that end, they would need his absolute cooperation and they, in turn, would do everything possible – barring the mentally unstable Uzu hermit chatting away with his favorite footwear – to help him exceed all expectations…even his own.

To get there, mornings would start at zero-five with Kemuri-kun. As his combat trainer, the clone had access to what sporadic material they'd been able to find in the Genin section of the library. They would be sending Tai-kun out disguised as a certain Chounin that Naruto was familiar with to acquire more and (hopefully) they could pull it off without incident. The somewhat docile clone took a list of subject titles handed to him by the "ringleader" and slipped out of the tiny apartment with a smirk and a wave.

Once Kemuri finished catching up on the physical training material already collected (he had until Monday morning to do so), they would spend the first two hours of every day at training area twenty-seven, an abandoned section jutting up next to the south eastern wall here in the slums, or Red-Light District as the rest of Konoha knew it as.

If he survived (a comment that made the original gulp), he would return here to shower and eat. Ku-chan, the red headed beauty apparently, would provide for the majority of his household needs since he lacked the perfect chakra control needed for her specialty. They had acquired basic medical journals, scrolls and lessons for her to study up on in the interim and planned to leverage her talents once the entire group reached the appropriate level of control.

Until then, the first hour after breakfast belonged to Chishiki while his mind was fresh and charged. Not wanting to overdo it these first few days before team assignments, Chishiki would spend one hour a day reviewing core shinobi academia, each day devoted to a different subject. Perhaps by trickling the material into his brain there might arise something akin to healthy study habits. Hell, he might actually learn something.

Late mornings were reserved for infiltration and stealth training every other day with Naruko-chan (who still grumbled about her name). Odd days would be dedicated to general maintenance meaning not just his gear but his dwelling, and Fuu-chan would supervise for no other reason than she had the temperament to enforce high standards.

Again, Naruto gulped at the predatory grin on the undeniably beautiful clone's face.

"What about tracking or sensor training?" a logical question from the original. Unfortunately, Chishiki shook his head with regret.

"We can't train you in something we don't already know of have a firm grasp on through reference materials." He motioned to the large pile of books and scrolls on the battered coffee table, including the book rescued from under the corner of his couch. "You'd need to find a tracker familiar with the skills you want training in, like the Inuzuka bunch."

Naruto grimaced. The only real experience he had with that clan came from the young male, none of it pleasant. The boy was arrogant bordering on overbearing zealotry meaning their personalities clashed and it annoyed Naruto to the point that he refused to socialize with the mutt. He would make do with his current training regiment until another option could be found.

To that end, his remaining hours of the day were split evenly with Keihatsu-kun in chakra control and theory and in calligraphy training. Once his abilities were up to par, they would see about training in his family's lost art of _fūinjutsu._

That last bit brought a smile to the orphan's face, one that made the crazy clone grin ferally and every other clone shiver briefly. Chishiki deflated his enthusiasm by reminding him that they didn't want to be blown to smithereens with poor sealing techniques, so he wouldn't even smell a fresh jar of ink until his calligraphy was damn near perfect.

Naruto grinned even more. _'If it's perfect you want, then it's perfect you'll get.'_

 **~ Back at Hokage Mansion in the Chamber of Counsels ~**

Both counsels on the civilian side of the table whispered nervously as they awaited the meeting's start. Already a vast majority of the merchant, labor, and governmental factions had begun to trickle in populating the much deeper body of constituents. It was a mixed blessing, the added security of the shinobi portion of the Council body, a blessing and curse in the fact that their dwindling population tended to die out through the natural hazards of their work. That declining population did nothing to reduce their stubbornness and it was through that stubbornness that the smaller body encouraged the Hokage, the village's supreme leader, to defy their will.

That defiance no longer mattered. Time was of the essence and the will of the people needed to act. Every member of the body politic knew that today would eventually arrive; graduation of the _demon brat_ from the academy and emergence of his threat to the general populace. If the Hokage was unwilling to act accordingly, then the Council would, and it would use his own tools of violence against him.

"It is all arranged." The nervous figure to his left jumped at the sudden sound of Noburo's voice despite the fact that it leaked out in the form of a sibilant hiss. He'd have to beat such nervous habits out of the fool if they ever hoped to survive this.

"H-H-How many?"

"We have twenty or so, mostly Genin." The smaller man's beady eyes exploded into small saucers.

"S-S-So many…and they support the B-B-Brigade?" Noburo's smile held zero warmth and the smaller man again shivered in fear. The _Bijuu Brigade_ had begun as a taunting jab among drinking friends before growing into a group fashioning themselves as the last line of defense against the demon container and his corruption. Of late, Noburo found himself wanting to flaunt his allegiance publicly in a fierce sense of pride. It was a fatalistic flaw truth be told but the feelings were there all the same.

They both wandered near their seats at the chamber table next to each other before the older man spoke again. "They see it as a small price to pay for our eventual freedom."

Neither one noticed a very concerned Mebuki Haruno as she took note of their malignant attitudes. Given the nature of this meeting, her thoughts drifted to the welfare of her own daughter and whether or not the hateful feelings these two were emitting were any threat to Sakura's life or career. She'd have to play it by ear and decide whether or not to get involved in order to protect her child. Such thoughts temporarily fled her mind as the meeting was called to order and the now assembled group delved into the briefing sheets before their seats.

 **~ Konoha Market District ~**

Hands buried into the deep pockets of his beige cargo shorts, Naruto strolled indolently through busy Konoha street after street ignoring the hateful glares and hurtful curses. Wrapped in a black and burnt orange jacket over his roomy white tee shirt, his dark blue sandals made barely a sound as he prowled casually towards a specific destination, _Higurashi's._ The Old Man had asked him to keep his hitai-ite hidden until team assignments, so the boy tucked it away into an inside pocket of his jacket. He didn't care as the truth would come out sooner or later and the orange swirl on his shirt blared his affiliation proudly. Ever since discovering what the swirl meant in his academy classes, he took pride in his family name and reflected it in his attire. To hell with what these ignorant fools thought.

Shrugging off any negative thoughts, Naruto puffed up his cheeks and blew out his frustrations into the bright, sunny day as one hand sneaked its way up to brush his annoying bangs away from his eyes. Maybe he could ask Anko-nee for a quick trim since she was the only person he trusted with a blade anywhere near his body.

His last attempt to get a haircut…had not gone well.

Pushing onward, he located the dark background of the shop placard with the green anvil and hammer of his destination. With only one last sneer to being nearly run over by a larger mass of flesh, he heaved open the heavy door of reinforced wood and stepped into the familiar smell of freshly seasoned leather and oil. Inhaling the scent as his chest expanded two sizes, the Kyuubi vessel's grin exploded. He loved the smell.

There were several people in the shop already. A couple shinobi gave curt nods, something he always found odd but returned respectfully. You never knew if you'd be working with them in the future and it never hurt _not_ to burn bridges. A few others shot angry glares his way and stormed out muttering something about "filthy animals," which he returned with an equally respectful one-finger salute. It hurt him to think he'd cost the proprietor business but Higurashi's was the best ningen supplier in the elemental kingdoms (as far as Naruto knew) and, if they wanted the best, they'd be back. He instead perked up as a friendly female voice called out to him drawing his attention to the main counter and the bun-headed girl standing behind it.

"What are you doing here Naruto? I thought it was 'three strikes you're out' time for you?" She didn't miss the annoyed snarl from the slightly taller blond nor did she miss the muffled _plink_ coming from where he tapped the breast of his jacket. Her eyes grew big as the meaning sunk in and her face grew deadly serious.

"I sincerely hope you didn't steal that," she hissed through clenched teeth. "You _know_ the penalty for such a crime." Naruto _tsked_ in displeasure.

"C'mon, Tenten. You know me better than that! I'm not a common thief. I earned this!" His anger was growing, a flushing sensation of warmth filling his cheeks and, for just a split second, Tenten saw his beautiful eyes flash a deep purple color, which she found odd. Perhaps she imagined it?

Then it dawned on her. The recent events at the school, talking instructors whispering about a traitor being caught… Her scrutinizing gaze took in the stern face of her recent customer before something clicked in her mind with a brisk businesslike nod.

"So…what can I do for you today, Naru-chan?" She smirked as the boy's scowl intensified. She knew exactly how much he hated that nickname being one of his few friends from the academy.

Brushing it aside, Naruto slapped a well-worn and nicked kunai on the counter. "I need a new batch of both kunai and shuriken, enough supplies for an A-rank and basic storage scrolls to hold them." After a short pause he added, "I should also scrap my basic academy gear for some new tents and camping kit. I've outgrown or lost enough of it over the years." Tenten whistled appreciatively before pulling out two rolled parchments and mentally assembling the pricing of what this would cost him.

"You have enough for all this? It's not going to be cheap you know." Calmly the admittedly handsome fellow reached into a bulging thigh cargo pocket and pulled out a padded yellow envelope to flash a thick wad of Ryu notes and, without another comment, the two went about lining up his purchases.

It was one of the few places he could buy from without trouble, so Naruto made plenty sure to keep on the owner's good side. Soo engrossed in being a good customer was he, Naruto nearly missed the familiar scents of what folks had been calling the latest Ino-Shika-Cho incarnation, two and half of his closest friends/frenemies.

"Now this is troublesome." Without turning around, Naruto waved to his friends not bothering to differentiate between them and Ino. He held no illusions of closeness with the rabid Uchiha fanatic and simply took the good with the bad when it came to her.

"Are you lost, drop-out?" He didn't need to turn around to see her sneering grin, so he did the next best thing and ignored her while handing over a thick bunch of Ryu to Tenten. He did notice the cute brunette's angry glare over his shoulder and his warm smile shocked her when their eyes met again making her blush.

"Thanks, Ten-chan. I'll see you next time I need to resupply." Stuffing the scrolls into his free cargo pocket, Naruto turned to walk away and out the door only to stop once the platinum blond nuisance grabbed on to his shoulder.

"Hey! I asked you a question. Don't you know it's rude to ignore a lady?!" He merely snickered back.

"Well, when I find one with a question, I'll answer her." Brushing off her hand with a slap from the back of his own, he nodded to Shika and Choji before sauntering out the door and into the bright streets of Konoha leaving behind a fuming Yamanaka heiress.

Shika would have chuckled along with Choji had he not caught the angry glare from the girl behind the counter. From the look on her face, he could tell their own resupply needs were going to be hard-won. With a muttered, "troublesome" under his breath, he prepared to do battle with his third angry woman in one day.

It was troubling how much Ino resembled his mother in her bossy personality.

~III~

It wasn't long before the cranky nin found his was to his favorite barstool attached to his favorite purveyor of ramen. He could smell the bountiful goodness from several blocks away…along with the three lowlifes following in the alleyways off to his left. Oh well, take the good with the bad.

"Oi, how ya been, old man?" Teuchi's back stiffened as he whirled around.

"Na-ru-toooooooo!" I haven't seen you for Kami knows how long!" As if suddenly fearful for his life, the old man slapped a hand over his mouth and flinched, his whole body jerking about as if awaiting the Shinigami himself. Leaping around the counter top, he clamped an enormously strong pair of hands used to years of kneading noodles onto the boy's shoulders hard enough that it hurt, his frantic eyes flickering about in terror.

"Ano… _itai_ …old man, you okay?" Naruto tried to gently pry his fingers from the flesh of his shoulders without hurting him.

"You have to leave!" Teuchi hissed. "Go! Now! Before-." His warning was cut short as the back door opened to the hailing voice of Ayame Ichiraku and their apprentice, Akimi.

"Daaaaad! I'm back with our…" Her phrase never finished as her eyes alit upon Teuchi's hunched back in confusion, confusion that slowly burned to a smothering fire as she recognized the blond mop of hair just past the older man's right shoulder.

"NARUTO!"

Naruto did the only thing he could at the moment. He substituted with some random passerby, the extremely confused young man blinking up into Teuchi's equally confused face, before taking to the rooftops and leaping away.

This was not a conversation he wanted to have at the moment. Something about discretion, valor and all that other stuff.

~III~

In the alley across the street, the familiar sandy brown hair of a certain apprenticed carpenter watched the jealous blond leap away and smiled. Things were going splendidly in that department even if he couldn't have cared less about the girl. Sure, she was cute, but she was solely the means to an end. If things went according to plan, he could finally be done with her, take her virtue… maybe even pass her around to his new friends snickering evilly behind him, then humbly accept his reward from the Council before retiring to the wealthy life he deserved.

He was never all that close with either of them at the orphanage anyway.

Besides, she had been tainted by her relationship with the beast. He couldn't be seen with her too much longer if he was to survive his ascension to the ranks of the wealthy and powerful in Konoha's upper crust.

Casually he accepted the small wad of Ryu from the Genin squad leader and tipped his hat lightly signifying that he needed to go. He was an up-and-coming person of importance y'know. Places to go and all that…

 **~ Naruto's Apartment ~**

When the knock sounded at his door later that evening, Naruto almost expected for it to be an angry auburn-haired girl threatening to rip out his throat. He wasn't sure how much longer he could avoid her or even if he should anymore.

Didn't she have that Aono guy now? What more did she need from him… if anything?

After his mini-army snuck off to the bedroom, he answered the door accepting the official scroll from the cat-faced ANBU standing on the other side of it. Thanking her, and taking note of her pleasant floral scent, he broke the seal and grinned until his eyes vanished.

Without thinking he surged forward and embraced the startled kunoichi in a remarkably strong hug not particularly paying attention to the fact that his head was buried in her armor-plated chest or that she was feeling awkward enough to blush four shades darker under her mask (not that he could have seen it anyway). It had been because of her finely-honed skills and reflexes that he received only one bash on the skull instead of being split in two with the sword strapped to her back.

Moments later a teary-eyed Genin was rubbing his bruised skull and griping about edgy ANBU not knowing how to accept gratitude. It no longer mattered anyway as he closed and locked the door before returning to the scroll announcing that he'd be receiving his team assignment one week from this upcoming Monday. Noting the time and place he needed to be at the academy, Naruto grinned as his clones slowly came out of hiding.

They had a lot of work to do in the next nine days.

~III~

Opening one lazy eye, Kurama glanced through the bars to the ring of creatures fumbling around in his home. He had a good idea as to what they were being as he'd seen something similar, albeit to a considerably smaller degree, in his previous hosts of Mito and Kushina. If what he was observing was an indication of what was to come, perhaps the little roach would implode sooner rather than later, and he'd finally be free.

Freedom. That word rolled around in his mouth as he let a massive yawn shake the mindscape cavern making up his home these days and chuckled as they paid him no mind. Everyone underestimated him so long as he was "safe" behind this retched seal. His open eye flicked up to the metal abomination shaped from the very bars that imprisoned him, so unlike the previous two paper seals damning him to a life of servitude and misery. Yes, freedom had a nice ring to it.

He'd have to be careful once he was out. Perhaps he'd lay low or even take a human form while his body regenerated over a century or two. Perhaps he'd take what's been learned over the last hundred years of imprisonment to make a truly magnificent body. Glancing once more over to the figures huddled around a floating and semi-transparent image of their common host, his keen eye slid past the aggressive males to the three females.

He'd been male before as he drifted from one human settlement to another. Being male, especially a powerful alpha, had its advantages…and its disadvantages. Being powerful and handsome came with plenty of vixens to pass the time. It also generated its share of headaches with endless and equally tedious challengers attempting to defeat the apex predator. The female gender had its own share of woes, mostly generated by the worthless males of the species, but it wasn't anything a copious amount of power crafted into the form couldn't remedy.

His eyes took in the three females as he considered the very different models. The one with hair like his fur initially caught his eye but, despite being a lovely specimen, she was overall average physically…perhaps a bit too tall and distinctive. The blond, while shorter, was too alluring and likely to draw the male eye for activities he would never condone with another hairless ape. Perhaps he could find a creature like her to tend to his needs like all good slaves should before a proper demon lord. No, his eyes flickered to the dark haired one, sleek of build and dangerous enough to warn off lesser males by her aura alone.

She was curvy enough to be desirable yet strong of limb, particularly her legs. He always did have an attraction to strong hindquarters.

"She's a bit young even for you, don't you think?" He started out of his contemplation and grunted in annoyance to the male red head leaning casually against his cage.

" **What she is to me is not your concern, Namikaze**." The figure's eyes popped open in surprise but he didn't overreact or frown overly much. The massive ball of chakra and rage smirked.

"I figured if anyone guessed it, it would have been you. Still, I came to share a bit of information with you while I have a spare moment." This time the large fox chuckled, a rumbling sound that rippled the 'water' on the cavern floor and caused a couple of the clones to glance their way. A few shook their heads in disbelief before turning back to Chishiki as he pointed to numbers hovering near and floating around the anatomical figure of light.

" **There is nothing you could teach me."** The fox was sneering now in distaste at the figure that had defeated him in his blind rage.

"I didn't say I was going to teach you but to share something with you. I want you to be able to make an informed decision, unlike the last time we met." His eyes cut over from the gaggle of troublemakers to the annoyed fox. "I've seen you staring at my handiwork and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what you want."

" **Oh really? Do enlighten me oh all-seeing one."** Sarcasm literally dripped from his fangs. Or was that hunger? He really could go for a juicy rabbit right about now…

"You want out and you think breaking out or letting the boy die will grant your freedom." Kurama rolled his eyes and went back to staring at the dark-haired mind fragment. Every Bijuu knew that death of the vessel equaled freedom while their immortal bodies reformed.

" **Figured that out all by your lonesome, did you? Brilliant. I am stunned by your magnificent intellect."** This time the smaller red head chuckled back, and he found it… unnerving.

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you. Well… maybe just a little. No, it's the fact that I saw this over fourteen years ago and planned for it." This drew the fox's attention away from the now nervous brunette that had caught on to his unwanted attentions and was staring back.

" **Make sense, monkey boy."** That did not sound good, not good at all.

"This isn't your standard five or seven elements seal." Kurama snorted back in annoyance. He knew a bit about seals after all.

" **Of course not. I know a tetragram seal when I see one. Although, I will admit this is the most complex one I've seen in over a thousand years."** The blue robed figure gave a mock bow in return. **"There must be over eighty elements in that monstrosity."**

"Try over a hundred." This time Kurama's eyes grew…slightly.

What? He could appreciate skill when he saw it.

"But that's not what makes this one special. No, take a look at the northern quadrant. Specifically, the second chakra conduit powering the seal matrix." The mighty bijuu frowned briefly before turning his gaze to the metal ring of runes and symbols surrounding the spiraling center piece, the very center of which held the traditional yin-yang symbol surrounded by the ten individual and combined elements arrays. He briefly had to admit that the coiled serpent body forming the outer ring of that center piece was elegant before shrugging it off and reaching out with his chakra to lightly brush the seal construct.

Given his position inside the cursed thing it was all he could do but it shared with him some information. Staying away from that vertigo-inducing pit of seal arrays this time, he gently tickled the outer frame of the seal, his chakra skipping lightly around the southern conduit funneling his own chakra to both feed the array and his host imbuing the boy not only with enhancements to his Uzumaki bloodline… correction bloodline traits, but enhancing him physically due to years of being exposed to his chakra. He never feared that the boy would sprout ears and a tail like some fools in the village feared but there had been a few changes at the genetic level due his exposure to Kurama's Youki, minor mutations at best but helpful all the same.

His chakra split into two directions along the seal's crest. Brushing past two unused conduits (spares perhaps?), he pushed on to the northern edge of the seal and shivered as it neared the pulsing artery. An unholy sense of dread seized him as he'd never bothered inspecting the outer ring of the seal, but he pushed on all the same.

The northern conduit was huge matching the same leech trickling his chakra reserves on a steady basis. Unlike his tie to the seal, which was burning warmly with the fire element that provided his chakra affinity, this one was cold. It was bitterly cold and the closer his chakra approached, the colder the conduit became. Tentatively he reached out to just barely graze the edge thinking this felt familiar…

Something, a dark tendril lunged from the conduit body and latched on to one of his chakra tendrils and held fast. Almost immediately he could feel it sucking the warmth from him, like a leech it was draining his energy, his demonic youki, faster than he could replenish it and changing the color of his chakra from its brilliant red to a murky blue-black... almost like it was...dying. When a second tendril shot out from the conduit wall and snagged his second feeler, he panicked.

The Kyuubi no Youko, the Demon Lord of Demon Lords, panicked.

It was familiar, this cold and unfeeling embrace. He and all his siblings knew exactly what it was as they fled its hunger, its never-ending thirst, every time one of the was sealed inside a human and that human died. It was the one thing they all feared despite the loopholes that allowed their existence. Every one of them knew that to allow the Death God to grab hold of you was to void the agreement and surrender your soul to the harbinger of final death.

That bastard. That hateful, spiteful monkey of man. He'd invited the Shinigami into his cage with a knife and fork set at his spot for the feast.

And Kurama was the main dish.

As something cold and terrible clamped down on what would be his heart if he had a body, Kurama heaved and tugged on his chakra wrenching back with everything he had. That chilling feeling was infecting his energy, feeding its way back to him. Unable to simply break free, he extinguished his tendrils closing off for the first time all of his energy output and sealing himself away from everything except the main conduit feeding the array. The effort of which left him panting heavily on the floor of his cage as his wide eyes stayed glued to the abomination that was his seal.

He was chained to the death god. It was every bijuu's worst nightmare.

"So, now you know." It was spoken calmly and without malice, but it stoked his anger all the same. Kurama lunged at the bars, smashing claw and limb and tail against them trying to reach the insufferable maggot just beyond the barrier he could not break.

" **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"** Spittle flew, teeth flashed, and snarling rage shook the entire cavern. **"WHAT! HAVE! YOU! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"**

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh snap! Baby Cliff-Hanger No Jutsu!

* * *

 _ **Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom**_

 _ **by Minato Namikaze**_

 _ **Chapter 1: Know Thyself (and Your Limits)**_

 _Congratulations on your decision to pursue to martial life as a shinobi in service to your village. Whether small or large, not a greater path of noble sacrifice can be found among our elemental nations. To that end, your dedication on what will be the hardest journey of your life cannot come without some measure of trepidation for, though the rewards may be great for the fortunate few, you must know without doubt the great many of your comrades will fall by the wayside._

 _Glance to your left. Glance to your right. Chances are one if not both of your cherished comrades next to you now will meet some grisly fate few civilians could comprehend, be it by the blade or some other nefarious means. Know that the life of a shinobi, if you are lucky, can be extremely short lived._

 _Still not dissuaded? Good! Let us begin with what a shinobi is and what sets us apart from those we serve. "What is this servitude" you ask?_

 _It is what we, as a unique subset of the population, are meant to do. Certainly, we protect, we infiltrate, we steal and murder (when necessary), however, at the very core of our essence, we are a band of servants. We are very powerful servants of that you can be sure, but servants nonetheless._

 _We serve our Kage._

 _We serve our comrades._

 _First and foremost, we serve our villages. We are a band of servants and, through commissioned tasks (missions) and through directives and orders (from our Kages) we serve through a wide-reaching skillset ranging from taijutsu, kenjutsu, bukijutsu, ninjutsu, iryojutsu, and even fuuinjutsu to only name a few. These are the jewels of our disparate crowns earned through years of blood, sweat and toil. There is no shortcut, no quick path to power._

 _You want to be powerful? Train._

 _You want to earn respect? Train then prove yourself to your comrades._

 _You want to lead your peers? Train, prove yourself, then demonstrate your resolve to serve others before you can lead them yourself._

 _Upon your shoulders and yours alone lies the responsibility to advance yourself. Rely on no one to push you lest you stagnate and wither away._

 _Now, do not confuse seeking help from a more experienced shinobi to show you the correct path or help solve a particularly difficult puzzle with dependence. It is well and good to ask for help. It is another entirely to expect another to take you under their wing or coddle you as you are owed nothing. You are not entitled to the hard-won skills of another, despite what certain red-eyed clans believe._

 _The world owes you nothing._

 _Therefore… earn it for yourself! To that end, I offer this treatise in self-reflection and training. It is meant as a guide and only a guide and, as such, I will sparsely touch on material readily available through existing literature and attentive shinobi senseis. You are highly encouraged to seek out an instructor of your own and draw from them whatever knowledge they are will to part with._

 _Remember, they owe you nothing so take what is offered and be contented. Then, seek to improve upon what you know so that you can push further through the strength of your own limbs and indomitable will._

 _Only you can hold yourself back._

 _With that said, no shinobi can begin their career without some preparation so let us start at the beginning with physical and mental preparation, shall we?_

 _First off, a shinobi must take care of themselves and their equipment. To start with, let's focus on healthy nutrition…_

~III~


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Next chapter in the AU saga and I finally feel like I've reached the end of the story setup phase. I'm looking forward to getting to the "meat" of things.

Should be the last of the filler for a while at any rate. Most of the backstory is set and now we get to see things play out a bit. Also, I find the elite clones fun to write. It's a welcomed change of pace.

Back to the story then.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **P.S.:** To the brave soul that left the courageous anonymous review telling me to stay on topic after reading only a chapter or two: The short answer is, "Go read something else because I am on topic." You just won't know what it is for another twenty chapters or so.

Boy, are you gonna hate life between now and then. Muahahahahaha!

* * *

 _ **Chapter 4: A New Beginning**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More…**_

 **In the Mindscape:** _As something cold and terrible clamped down on what would be his heart if he had a body, Kurama heaved and tugged on his chakra wrenching back with everything he had. That chilling feeling was infecting his energy, feeding its way back to him. Unable to simply break free, he extinguished his tendrils closing off for the first time all of his energy output and sealing himself away from everything except the main conduit feeding the array. The effort of which left him panting heavily on the floor of his cage as his wide eyes stayed glued to the abomination that was his seal._

 _He was chained to the death god. It was every bijuu's worst nightmare._

 _"So, now you know." It was spoken calmly and without malice, but it stoked his anger all the same. Kurama lunged at the bars, smashing claw and limb and tail against them trying to reach the insufferable maggot just beyond the barrier he could not break._

 _"_ _ **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"**_ _Spittle flew, teeth flashed, and snarling rage shook the entire cavern._ _ **"WHAT! HAVE! YOU! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"**_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Still Inside Naruto's Mindscape ~**

Every one of them were frozen, each standing still as statues as the enraged demon's voice rippled out across the mindscape like a dying echo. By now, the crazy red-headed clone claiming to be Namikaze Minato had garnered the very rapt attention of the other seven clones as they paused their impromptu meeting not twenty or thirty meters from where he was standing next to the still vibrating bars of the demon's prison. Before he could "shush" the now deeply troubled spirit (in the vain hopes that this would pass over), whatever image they were huddled around popped like a balloon and they each turned to face him, their eyes flickering back and forth from the frothing furbag and the all-too-serious lunatic in blue robes. It was as he was raising up from the bars to head them off that they all froze in their current poses, some of them stepping forward to close the distance, the Kyuubi with his or her mouth wide open, and the red headed male with his eyes open as far as they could go. His wouldn't be the only ones like that as each and every pair of eyes turned to see the latest addition to the party – a still groggy and half-awake Naruto Uzumaki standing ankle deep in water wearing his ramen cup pajamas and his favorite alligator-teeth sleeping cap.

No one said a word. No one moved or breathed too loudly as the boy sleepily scratched his side, his mouth smacking open a few times after clearing a vicious yawn. With the same half-awake aloofness, the boy splashed over to take Ku-chan's hand and, still not quite awake, strolled over to a newly-appeared column of light. Nestled snugly in the three-meter wide shaft lay a comfortable bed with large pillows and fluffy covers stamped in the same ramen motif.

Sitting her on the edge, the boy stretched languidly, cracked his neck once, then strolled around to the far side of the bed before crawling back across it to lay his covered head across her thigh, his face turned in to her hip as he began to softly snore right off the bat.

Each and every head followed his motion, eyes wide and mouths wide ajar. Several wondered where the bed and light came from. One squeaked indignantly only to have her mouth clamped shut by Chishiki's palm as her arms flailed helplessly. Fu-chan blushed at the intimacy but only Minato caught the undertone of… jealousy? Certainly, the older female stuck with his rock-hard noggin on her lap blushed, but it was brief and more out of familiarity than embarrassment…until she began to gently rub his back and he in turn slowly vanished from view.

There was more blinking and shocked gaping. Naruko's eye was twitching uncontrollably but at least her arms stopped lashing out indiscriminately. The rest stared at the now partially empty bed until, one by one, their heads spun incrementally back to the now very conspicuous Uzumaki priest.

"Oh…crap. Shoulda left when I had the chance." No sooner had the words left "Minato's" mouth, then all hell broke loose. He was surrounded. There was yelling. He was pretty sure several of them were poking him in the chest and, at the moment, he was trying to find the nearest escape route before the pandemonium came to a screeching halt.

"SIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!"

It was another comic scene with all of them frozen mid-poke-rant-yell-flail-roar. "Minato" almost swore he could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the wall-less space. When their heads turned this time, they were all staring at the bald monk, his face lifted almost straight up into the dark overhead, eyes clamped firmly shut, teeth and fists clenched, and his body ramrod straight.

"Wait… you can talk?" Tai-chan choked out.

*Deep breath* "Of course I can talk. Most of the time there is no need for it but Ku-chan just put him back to bed and here you lot are trying to bring him right back out of it." His eyes cracked open and his face rotated down to meet their incredulous stares. "How about we take a freaking moment to speak calmly and rationally, for once?"

With that said, the stoic monk plopped down into a soggy lotus and pulled out a prayer necklace, his thumb "energetically" propelling the dark beads along as he muttered an obscure Buddhist chant asking for forbearance and endurance. Chishiki recovered first, after hesitantly snapping his head back to make sure the robed scholar was finished, then turned to lock eyes with the blue-robed instigator of tonight's conflagration.

"Okay, now that we're calm how about you filling the rest of us in to what's going on?" "Minato" tried to wave it off and reached for his wooden sandal only to have it slapped from his hand by the dark-haired female he spent most of his time trying not to look at. Not only was she easy on the eyes but her outfit made it… difficult to concentrate. The fact that she was a fragment of his son's mind made it all the more disturbing. He couldn't deny, however, that she was fast.

"Do us a favor and put the crazy act aside for now. I think it's time you were honest with us for once," the blond Wudang priest commented. Knowing there was no other way out of this, he turned to face the group of "clones" and the bijuu at the same time and took a deep breath.

"I've been here longer than any of you except for this guy," he began thumbing a digit in the direction of the Kyuubi. "You could say we moved in together. I assume you're all familiar with everything that happened that day?" He paused long enough to insure they were all nodding their heads in the same direction (Kemuri began shaking his head side to side before catching everyone else and shifting rapidly to a north-south motion to match). Glancing at Kyuubi only earned him an exasperated sigh.

"Well, sealing up this creature in my greatest creation was a one-way trip and I knew that. The price for burdening my son with this responsibility was my life, one I'd gladly pay again and again to save the village I loved… once upon a time." Several of them blinked in surprise. Wasn't he the greatest defender of Konoha? Was he saying that he regretted doing what he did? Naruko wasn't the only one filing those questions away for later.

"When I sealed away the demon, my deal with the Shinigami included a request, which he approved knowing he had nothing to lose. I was allowed to anchor just a small piece of my soul, the smallest fragment of it, to the seal itself. It's not enough to do much…really. But it has allowed me to see my son grow… and suffer at the hands of a thankless people I gave everything to protect." He voice was bitter, resentful. "I've seen them abuse him, hurt him, try to kill him and, with each attempt, I have grown to despise them just a bit more." His eyes looked up to the great orange-red fox and sighed. Did he see the barest hint of sympathy there? No, it's gone whatever it was, so he turned back to the history lesson and his audience.

"Tying myself to the seal matrix allows Kyuubi's chakra to replenish my soul fragment. Over time…"

"Wait! Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wait!" Everyone looked back to the pigtailed blond in confusion. "if you could do that, then why haven't you shown yourself? Hell, why didn't you include some of your wife's soul so that she could watch over her son? Why only you?"

"Ah, about that. I tried to save what I could of her." His eyes took on a hollow sadness. "Apparently the Shinigami would only allow one to stay…something about keeping the balance."

"But he let you?" The blond female seemed offended…affronted even.

"He knows that he'll get my soul fragment once the boy dies finally, as the rest of me suffers eternally inside his stomach." No one missed the painful wince on his face.

She opened her mouth to continue her interrogation only to be cut off by Chishiki's glare. Souring yet again, she chomped down on her own teeth and turned away, arms folded beneath a rather full chest.

"So, you're a real seal master," their newly-appointed leader began. "Minato" nodded once. "Good, then you can help us train him and drop the psycho act. It's getting old and doesn't help anyone, least of all Naruto. We will work you into the afternoon schedule next week." The Yondaime nodded his agreement with some reluctance. It would be nice to be able to teach his son, especially with the hack job the academy did to him.

"One condition and it's non-negotiable." Chishiki only raised an eyebrow. "Naruto never learns who I truly am." There was immediate outrage, but it was the Kushina clone that raised a hand to silence them.

"Why should we agree to this? It's not like he won't learn of it when he processes our memories." Minato's smirk unnerved them just a little.

"That only works if you're attached to a clone and the memories your gain transfer through the bond." He conveniently left out the part about suppressing clone memories. "I've noticed watching you lot plot and scheme that nothing transfers while you're in here. You're all fragmented pieces of his personality, not clones tied to his chakra network so, unless the conversation comes up while you're out there," he nodded up and in some vague direction, "…it doesn't 'cross over' for lack of a better term." His face got deadly serious. "Fair warning, if you cross me in this, I'll throw a big enough monkey wrench in your plans to undo all your hard work and that's a promise."

The vast majority of them bristled at the threat. "You'd sabotage your own son?!" Naruko was livid and vibrating with anger.

"Yes, I would." He was calm and sincere even in the deafening silence. More than half the faces looking back at him were clearly disgusted. "I can make him seem crazy enough that they'd seal him up faster than a Katon jutsu during an Uchiha graduation party and lock him away deep in the Hokage Tower never to be seen again. I'd rather see him safe and harmless than fully trained and wrapped up in some crazy scheme that could get him killed."

Chishiki stepped forward and their grumbling died a slow death. "Done." Minato blinked at the ease with which the ringleader agreed, the shock on his face indicating he clearly didn't trust any of them. Kemuri leaned in briefly and spoke for the first time, well, other than aggravated yelling and heated threats to disembowel the disguised traitor.

"Can we trust him?" Chishiki seemed unperturbed but nodded once. It was enough for the buzz-cut shinobi at some level and the brawny copy leaned away to study Minato's avatar like a deadly viper needing to be monitored.

"It's done…for now. We have to deal with it until the situation proves otherwise." He turned back to the unknown variable.

"Now, tell us why the Kyuubi wants to rip your throat out," Chishiki continued. Minato laughed even as he released the henge growing to his full height, blue eyes, blond hair and all. Kyuubi snarled and slammed against the bars one last time before laying out with a snort.

"When doesn't he want to rip my throat out? I sealed him after all." Many of them shrugged as they couldn't dispute the claim. "In this case, however, I tied him to his only fear." Pointing up to the metal seal he sighed, and another rumbling growl shook the water-covered ground.

"You remember that the Kyuubi is tied to the seal and limited in how he can interact with Naruto?" They all nodded. "Well, the Shinigami is also tied to the other end of the seal and, when Naruto dies or someone tries to rip him out of the seal like that…like that bastard did Naruto's mom, the Death God is going to cash in all debts and claim our souls, both what's left of mine and all of the Kyuubi's." Chishiki's eyes nearly feel out of his head and his head whipped around to see a similar look of shock on the demon's face.

"Yeah, you get it now, don't you? No restart for the Kyuubi this time. If he escapes, something he's been trying to do since his sealing, he goes straight to the shinigami's belly to fulfill the contract I made for the sealing pact. See, the Shinigami requires two souls during a summons and I already promised mine," he thumbed at the great Youko once more, "…and his, one of the great bijuu originally immune to the Shinigami's power. There was no way he was going to pass up that offer." They all turned to stare wide-eyed at the jailed ball of rage and energy. "Which is why he's been ignoring Naruto's attempts to bond. It's why he's been refusing to help heal him when he gets hurt. Oh, he can't completely refuse to help at all, but he can hold back over ninety-nine percent of his youki and it's time that changed." Minato turned to glare at the stubborn creature who glowered in return.

"He simply hates the motivation I've provided."

Kurama knew his situation sucked and a great many of his bids for freedom just got wiped off the table. Basically, unless the boy opened the seal and he forcibly took control, he was doomed for life. To say things had taken a turn directly into a large lake of shit would have been a huge understatement. He had much, much to consider. He could stand by and let the fool get himself killed, which would mean a one-way trip to eternal torment. Conversely, he could help the meat sack get strong enough that he might be able to convince the brat to work with him and provide a little freedom, maybe even find a way to sweet talk the Shinigami into altering the deal. Neither one sounded enjoyable and the latter sounded downright impossible, but he was always very lucky in the long odds. Besides, he had eight other siblings he could offer up and he was only favorably attached to one of them.

Kurama was beginning to like his chances with option two.

 **~ Naruto's Apartment ~**

Sunday late morning was shaping up to be a strange day of preparation. Naruto was bouncing nervously in one of his kitchen chairs as clones hustled about his small apartment. Lots was going on and he was getting tired of the angry red headed male – _SMACK!_ Yeah, he was getting tired of that as his right hand reached up and rubbed the back of his head.

"Getting' real tired of you doing that," he grumbled. The cross seals master with the calligraphy brush between his teeth glanced up from his fifth attempt to wipe all traces of the wasted ink from his current project, which was the back of Naruto's hand, and mumbled something around the brush that sounded suspiciously like "annoying little fucker." Naruto simply raised an eyebrow while the clone yanked the brush out of his mouth and snarled back.

"You're going to be more than annoyed if I mess this seal up because you can't sit still and blow your damn arm off." It was delivered with deadpanned seriousness, the flat stare giving the whole "stop playing with explosive notes" sort of seriousness that made the eager blond gulp before becoming very still. For the next fifteen minutes, he sat completely rigid, which had the added benefit of allowing the Uzu lunatic to finish his work in rather short order.

There were five diamonds with an Uzushio swirl in the center and small lines of characters radiating out in six lines, three from the top and three from the bottom, located on the backs of his hands, the insteps of his feet and one in the center of his chest right below the collar bone.

Once the clone was happy with his work, he flowed through a short set of hand seals and muttered, "Seal!" before placing his fingertips right below the diamond on Naruto's chest. It glowed softly followed by the ones located at his extremities. Soon, tendrils of ink and runes flowed out from the seals to intertwine and pulse once before vanishing from sight.

"There, the array is active now. You can increase the resistance by making this hand seal," he showed him a full ram, "…and channeling chakra into any of the seals on your body. They are tied to your tenketsu nexi so you should be able to manage." He tapped the sheet with sequential numbers and increments before cleaning up and putting away the tricks of his trade, which were really Naruto's new tools purchased through Tai-kun since none of them actually owned anything.

"And what will this do?" Naruto was glancing at his latest acquisitions with some curiosity.

"The diamonds are resistance seals to help you train and there are twenty four increments, four steps per seal arm, six seal arms per seal element. The numbers on that sheet lay out the different levels of resistance you can set them at. The higher the setting, the harder it is to move. The single arrays on your upper forearms are storage seals, small ones mind you primarily for weapons no bigger than kunai and shuriken so don't get crazy. It's not a bright idea to store massive amounts of crap in your body like a spare closet."

Naruto nodded. Earlier before starting his seals work, the angry red head had shared several examples of body seals failing spectacularly when limbs got severed or when too much was packed into them. He had no desire to lose chunks of flesh when solid objects suddenly exploded from his skin.

Physical training lessons from the academy explained what he needed to know about the resistance seals. True, what few lessons they let him stick around for were boring as hell but the ones that might help him get stronger were the few lessons that he actually paid some attention to. It never paid to show too much interest, however, as they usually found ways to kick him out, so he got really proficient at paying attention to everything without seeming to pay attention to anything. Take for instance, there was Fuu-chan sitting across from him inspecting his gear laid out on the table.

The quiet girl was checking each piece making comments on condition, balance, construction and any additional purposes of note, her emerald-green eyes taking in every minute blemish. Sure, the kunai was the shinobi jack of all trades but there were other uses for just about everything. While he had no reason to use senbon as modified clothes hangers, it was not a normal consideration for the tiny tool. Now that Naruto's hands were free, he was able to join in and learn something as she continued the inspection and then showed him how to properly stow them in storage scrolls provided by the Uzu seals master.

As the three were seated at his small table, it was easy to see the blue-garbed figure hunched over his next project – he was adding storage seals to his thigh holsters – and an interesting thought struck him. Rising from the table, he sauntered back to his bedroom and carefully lifted the end of his rickety bed before carefully setting it down six inches from where it normally rested. Prying up a loose board the bed leg was keeping down, it revealed his secret stash for all things he held of some import.

Lifting out a small shoe box, it was soon joined by twenty yellow envelopes before he replaced the board and the bed. Holding in a deep breath, he took one of the yellow packets, which were all just shorter than a kunai if not a bit wider, and pressed it against the seal on his left arm. Applying a burst of chakra, the object disappeared with the smallest sound of air being sucked away. He paused for a count of ten just to make sure his arm didn't explode. Once he was satisfied, he applied another burst of chakra to summon it back before grabbing up everything and returning to the table.

Retaking his seat, he inscribed numbers on each package numbering now one through twenty. The first fifteen he resealed into his right arm much to the raised eyebrow interest of the crazy-eyed seals master and the curious bluenette. The other five he left alone for the moment.

Opening the small shoe box, he took out a leather rope with an amber pendant at the end leaving inside the stack of personal letters from Akimi. The amber always shone in the light and intrigued him back as far as he could remember, almost like it burned dimly in the sun. That he stuck around his neck and glanced one last time at the swirled pattern at its heart. It was the only memento he had of his mother, or so old man Hokage had told him. It was from her home, Uzushiogakure.

Moving from that bitter memory, he opened back up the cheesy book written by the Yondaime. It had actually been a wealth of information, most of the necessary stuff the clones had copied to blank scrolls and returned the original back to him. What interested him at the moment were the last four pages of the final chapter on _Fuuinjutsu_ as they each held a single and identical seal, a high-quality storage seal array protected by Uzu blood seals.

Chishiki had been ecstatic when he discovered them (of course he read the whole book which meant, technically, so did Naruto) and the entire team had gathered around after Shin revealed why they couldn't open them; since they were just clones, they couldn't give blood to break open the seals. So, it fell to the original.

What was inside was a literal treasure trove.

The first held two large semi-pliable leather-wrapped tomes, works too large to be called simple books and each one hand-written by the authors. The first was dyed a deep blue to match Shin's robes and bore the crest of the Royal Uzu family, a swirl encircled by a long serpent biting its own tail. Apparently, it belonged to his mother, Kushina Uzumaki and the discovery that he was part of Uzu royalty was the first earth-shattering discovery. Sadly, it would not be the last.

The first four pages were a personal message from his mother that had been added to several times over the months of her pregnancy, a lot of motherly advice about eating right, avoiding the three shinobi vices, being wary of his godfather's perversions (oh yeah, there was a name also and oddly enough he was the guy that wrote that _Gusty Ninja_ book), and lot of stuff that just made his eyes tear up. The next whole chapter was dedicated to educating him on his clan history and, as much as he wanted to read it, it was all too much to bear.

The second book was white covered and bore a weirdly pattern circular seal of the Namikaze branch of the Senju. The brief times he paid attention in Iruka's class paid off as he knew something of both the Senju and Uzumaki clans, but he'd never heard of the Namikaze other than the Fourth Hokage was one of them, a dying clan apparently. He didn't go further into the journal, but he did read the personal note, the last few pages of which were an apology for having to seal the Kyuubi into his son in order to save the village. It was hastily scrawled, as if the man was in a hurry, and rambling in a few points. It was a complete contrast to the early pages of the personal introduction.

Those books were bombshells in many ways. All his life he'd begged the old man to tell him about his family and had been told by everyone, EVERYONE, either that he was an orphan or that they'd tell him when he was older and better able to handle the information. Looking down at the two large tomes stacked in the center of the table, he had a good guess as to why. The Yondaime was his favorite Kage after all and he'd made some powerful enemies, namely the entire hidden village of Iwagakure.

Given how hated he was in Konoha for being the "demon brat," he could only guess the shitstorm that would drop once Iwa learned their deadliest enemy had a son and that he was all alone and hated within his own village.

Despite common knowledge, he wasn't an idiot. He'd put up a good front to convince folks that he was mentally challenged but it wasn't really a stretch. True, he wasn't the best at studying, but his clones helped a lot with that now and he could finally catch up. He learned better doing things, but these books held promises of teaching him clan secrets, things that would help him later and that meant they were important. It was something to take seriously.

They were his inheritance along with the matched pair of blood red samurai swords in the second seal. Those made him smile. He'd have to find someone to teach him kenjutsu at some point.

Taking the box holding the blades and the family tomes in hand, he resealed them into the pocket-sized book he liked to call, _Shinobi for Dummies_ , right before he sealed it into his right forearm with the yellow envelopes filled with Ryu, twenty-thousand each. He'd added the three scrolls from the Hokage's library to the third seal of the book (the last two were empty) earlier in the day so that meant they were fairly safe until he could come up with a better storage option.

Dumping the letters from the shoe box into a small metal trash can, he summoned a clone, handed it a box of matches and a small bottle of lighter fluid. It gave him one look as if to ask, "Are you sure?" before nodding once and heading outside. The eight other copies in the room were oddly silent during this.

Four of the remaining envelopes of cash he stuffed into the bottom of his travel pack. The last one he split up between his wallet, _Gama-chan¸_ and five thousand to Tai-kun to get take out for lunch. For all of them.

Naruto then set about storing his excess kunai and shuriken to the seal on his left forearm. He'd load enough for a C-rank in his thigh holsters for now. If the storage seals Shin was adding to those were any indication, he'd be able to pack away enough for a small army one day.

He'd just socked away half of his excess shuriken when the room began to spin. He could hear chanting in some weird language he didn't understand and then there was the smell of rotten eggs and black smoke. He swayed in his seat before something began pulling on his stomach. Then everything went black.

Everyone else left in the apartment blinked as the tendrils of black smoke fell from the chair Naruto was just sitting in to the floor. It was heavy and foul-smelling. As several sprang up to search around the apartment, Shin began snickering. Fuu-chan glared at him not seeing the humor but that only made him go from snickering to giggling. Before anyone could slap the back of his head, the fool began cackling uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" the angry blond female shot out. Then they all exploded into puffs of angry smoke, the Ryu in Tai's hand falling to the apartment floor in fluttering sheaves amidst his order taking.

 **~ Hokage Complex in the ANBU Interrogation Cells ~**

Hiruzen Sarutobi watched the maniacal shouting of the chained figure through one-way reinforced glass, his sagging shoulders draped by the stringy bluish-silver mop of hair. His limbs had been buried under layers of bindings and seals. The room itself had been layered in chakra restriction, absorption, and redirection seals. It was with good reason after all, since the former academy instructor had nearly escaped last night injuring several guards in the process of releasing his cursed seal.

Mizuki had proven himself very dangerous even under guard hence the added levels of protection. It was also a good enough reason for the medic nins to _not_ fully heal him when he came back to his cell battered to bare levels of consciousness.

Hiruzen entered the room with Ibiki, Anko, and a pair of elite ANBU guards, Mizuki's eyes zeroing in on the Hokage and following him until he stood directly across from the small metal table and against the far wall. The bruises stood out clearly on his lowered head in opposition to the otherworldly fire in his deviant eyes.

"Hehe…to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" When he obtained no reaction from the old man, his eyes began to flicker back and forth to the other people in the cramped office. All of them, except for Anko, had stood against the stone wall, arms hanging calmly at their sides with stoned faces. Something was… off? Anko was moving around off to his left side, unfurling something at the end of the table giving off metal clinking sounds as his eyes began to frantically search the faces of the other four figures silently glaring at him.

Their apathy sent off silent alarms in the back of his mind and set his pulse to racing. Nervously, Mizuki licked cracked lips as his fear spiked uncontrollably.

"Say something…" No one budged. "What?! What do you want from me?!" He heard the brief sound of leather tightening before a gloved fist shook the room and made his vision blur. He could taste the blood welling up in his mouth and he spit it out to his left catching the woman's shin guard. He heard the soft plinking of a tooth as it bounced off the once pristine metal and was promptly rewarded with three blows to his stomach and ribs. That last one came with the sound of something crunching.

"I already told you…," he sputtered out weakly. "O…Orochi…maru." That was a mistake and he paid for it with more teeth.

She was pulling her punches meaning this was going to be a long night. He coughed for a few moments before gasping out another question of what they wanted from him. It sounded almost like a desperate plea as the angry kunoichi rained blows on him, each one carefully tailored to stress but not break his body. Barely holding on to his awareness, his head lolling weakly to one side, he glared hatefully up to the old man who matched his stare with one of his own. For many minutes, the impassive ancient known as the God of Shinobi, the Master of the Second Shinobi War, turned to the female standing drenched in Mizuki's blood and spoke two words that shook his soul before leaving.

"Break him." Mizuki's eyes, well, only the one worked at the moment, popped open as three of the four left the room. Ibiki, the bastard, simply folded his arms as he settled in to watch. The last thing Mizuki saw was the demonic smile from the beautiful yet gore-spattered kunoichi as she lifted metal-studded gloves dripping with his blood.

Then the pain really began.

Oh, how Mizuki hated the snake wench.

 **~ Unknown Location…Konoha? ~**

When the smoke and nausea cleared, Naruto found himself in a very unfamiliar situation. Reflexively reaching for his missing thigh holsters, the fresh Genin swore softly before turning his attention outward.

The room he was in was large, far bigger than his apartment living room, and dimly lit by three candles spread out on the wide-open floor around him. A quick glance showed the candles resting at three points on an enormous seal of some sort drawn on the wooden planks in chalk, not ink. There was a large central circle with odd symbols along the outer edge, another circle just after that, then the six points of the star like spikes attached to the outer circle. There also appeared to be some white crystalline substance poured in a circle just inside the inner ring of the seal. The last thing he noted with the seal, which admittedly held his attention, was a bowl of blood at one pointed spike, some odd claws piled at another corner, and a mostly naked girl wearing a silky looking loin cloth with strips of the same material covering her nearly-exposed chest seated at the final point directly in front of him.

He blinked. She blinked back. Then a bunch of excited chatter erupted just over her shoulder as two more women dressed identically to the one seated on the floor stepped into view, one of which held a large, hard-cover tome open as she and the third girl chattered animatedly while pointing and flipping through its pages.

His eyes switched from them to the woman sitting lotus and she jerked to attention, her hands frantically clasping together in a seal he'd never seen before with the pointer fingers on both hands forming a steeple. The rest were knotted together in a rather complex tangle. She then began chanting in that same odd language he'd heard before and his body flushed with energy while his vision blurred.

Lifting one of his hands to cradle his brow, he paused seeing that the seals added by Shin were glowing brightly, a blaring light blue color. So was the large blood-red seal on his abdomen and the prisoner in his gut was thrashing about angry in his cage. It was as he saw the seal pulse in and out of existence that he noticed a fourth woman laying flat on the floor between his legs, her garb similar to the other three except she was missing the strips of cloth covering her rather full breasts and her arms were reaching up as if in a welcoming embrace.

Shocked as he was, he leapt back and away from her and hit something solid, something that scorched his back and made him hiss in pain. Once the jolt pushed him forward, he fell to his knees before landing face first onto the girl's chest, her arms wrapping around his head and locking him in place with a gleeful squeal.

She smelled overwhelmingly of incense and it was starting to give him a headache. Twisting his face around in the smothering embrace of squishy female flesh, he looked back to see what had struck him only to see more open space. It made no sense. The girl latching onto his head twisted him back around to smother him once again and began planting kisses on his forehead.

"Wmmph?" She only giggled excitedly as he struggled feebly.

"Begin the ritual before he can break free! We must have his power!" Her legs clamped around his lower back locking him into place and Naruto's eyes bulged from up between the mounds of her chest. Over her nearly insane smile, he could see the seated girl frantically chanting in that foreign tongue, her hands clamped firmly together as her whole body began to perspire and shake with effort.

"Ano," one of the other two began, "…are we sure he is the right demon? He looks fairly…plebian, nothing like this image of the Kitsune Lord." Her pretty face was wrinkled up in confusion and he felt… insulted. He didn't know what "plebian" meant but it didn't sound very flattering.

The taller girl with the tome was nodding her head fiercely. "We used the right summons for a demon lord and he responded so that means he's the closest. Maybe he's in disguise still?" Naruto could hear the Bijuu roaring in his head along with the eight clone personalities asking to be let out. He was glad that they were with him, however, he opted to keep some things secret from these obviously deranged women and began trying to pry her arms from around his head (with little success since fanatics appeared to be insanely strong).

"Well, we don't have enough materials for another summons so it's either we try this, or we let him go and try to seduce another summons later." For several long moments the two outside the circle debated this, the one latched onto his body lifting her face up to see their decision, before the smaller one chewed her lower lip and nodded.

"The seals on his body are too advanced to be anything but containment seals. We'll drain his power taking it into ourselves and then we'll be strong enough to start our cult with him as our figurehead. Begin the process."

The girl laying on the floor squealed with rapture as her head snapped back to gloat at her captive "demon lord" only to see one of the floor pillows smashed to her bosom. When she looked up in surprise, she saw the angry red eyes of her subject… _'Wait…weren't they blue before?'_ as he chucked another pillow directly at the girl chanting at the circle's head. It struck her hard enough to bowl her over and break her seal as the faces of the two standing behind her snapped up in shock.

Without pausing, their blond subject bolted from the circle and out of the door he'd spied in the far corner. It didn't take long to find an exit and bolt to the nearest rooftop, several screeching female voices fading behind him. A quick glance confirmed he was still in Konoha albeit in a different section of the slums. One thing to count on, no one pays attention to odd smells and sounds in this part of town.

Back inside, one of the females looked at the open door leading to their common area with heavy sighs. "Okay, next time no foreign objects in the barrier," one opined while the others nodded in various states of depression. They were soo close!

"How long before we can gather enough materials to try again? I don't want to give up on this one." The taller one with the book pulled a scrap of parchment from another section of the book and frowned.

"At least two months before the claws can be gathered. Foxes are extremely rare in Konoha, so we need to head north into the forest to find more." Their leader nodded resolutely.

"Let's get started then." They began peeling off their strips of cloth heading for the group bath. Time to start all over again.

Outside and pushing chakra to his legs, Naruto got his bearings and went rooftop to rooftop working his way back home. Since he was out, he guessed it was time to revisit Madame Ai and re-establish their agreement, something he could now manage much easier with clones. No telling when he'd start making money as a Genin, so he'd need something to tie him over with his orphan stipend ending. He could hear the voices in his head debating how to prevent another summoning sneak attack, most of them apparently focused to Shin who claimed he had something that might do the trick.

This weekend had been extremely weird to say the least.

 **~ Naruto's Apartment – Early the Next Morning ~**

Naruto was sleeping erratically, his dreams a jumbled mess and currently filled with naked women swimming in large bowls of ramen. Their faces were the same four from his mini-adventure but it was the noodlely goodness that called out to him. His sleeping form swiped at the air above his bed trying to shove a giggling body out of the way so he could reach a pair of chopsticks. He didn't sense the figure standing next to his bed staring impassively at the alarm clock.

The clock chimed its cheerful chirping beep only to get smashed by the same groggy hand searching for eating implements a moment before. The figure standing next to the bed counted to zero back from ten before a bulging vein appeared on his neatly coiffured forehead. With a snarl, he bent at the knees, gripped the edge of the bed frame, then heaved flipping it – and its contents – onto the hardwood floor.

"Aaaah! Enemy attack! Man the walls! Repel all boarders! Alert the ANBU!" A still groggy but now wide-awake Naruto climbed out from under the bed frame to come face to face with a highly polished pair of boots. Blinking still bleary eyes as they panned up to the clenched jaw and red face of the militant clone, Naruto tried his best to present a sheepish smile to break the ice.

The bulky chakra construct smiled back but it carried no warmth. "Morning, princess. Sleep well, did we?" Naruto nodded back pleasantly. The clone's face immediately morphed into one of rage as he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

"On yer feet, maggot! How dare you keep me waiting?! Weren't you supposed to be poppin' tall and rarin' to go at zero-five? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?!" Naruto struggled out from under his bed and glanced at the clock that now read zero-five-zero-three and gulped.

The clone continued unabated clearly not expecting a coherent response.

"You have exactly two minutes to guss-up and meet me on the street, maggot! Do. NOT. Keep. Me. Waiting!" As Naruto scrambled about in a frenzy, he began to wonder exactly what the hell he'd signed up for. Whatever lay in store, this would be the last time he kept the angry PTSD victim waiting on him.

~III~

 _ **Omake: Secret Admirer**_

Hinata Hyuuga sighed as she trudged woodenly back to her private chambers. It had been another miserable function with drunken and slovenly people of importance courting her father in an attempt to win a political alliance through marriage. Things had progressed much too fast for her liking and it appeared an accord would have been made through the politician from the capital, someone from the Harada clan if she remembered correctly. It was bad enough that the slimy lecher kept trying to grope her but that her father noticed and did nothing to prevent it was…

Her face flushed at the angry thoughts and hatred towards the clan head. It was supposed to be her duty to her clan, to her family. She was not supposed to rail against her fate.

There was that hateful word again.

She sighed yet again as she slid open the door to her room and darted inside before anyone else could try to corner her. She was grateful for the _fuuinjutsu_ -reinforced wooden walls to her room. This was her haven. This was her sanctuary and second-favorite place to be. Protected from peeking by the Byakugan of her family, save from her father, she finally released her rage…and wept, the dark bangs of her lustrous hair just enough to cover her lavender eyes.

It wasn't fair! If only she could be stronger, more confident… like _him_. Her eyes darted to the class picture from the beginning of her final year and immediately found a familiar patch of golden sunlight. Her pace quickened as she wiped the tears from her eyes and lowered the frame as it wouldn't do for him to see her in a state of undress.

Sighing once again, she slipped her obi off along with her kimono leaving them in her nearby hamper. Someone would come for them tomorrow but tonight she needed to soak in her tub and steam away the misery of tonight's meal. The memories still stung a bit too much.

Her father hadn't protested the vulgar man's advances until he'd asked how much to spend the night with this one…and the cute _little sister_. Before anyone knew what was happening, there was a flash as Hiashi Hyuuga's Byakugan activated and the drunken fool was plastered up against the wall of the formal dining room.

Most tried to placate the angry clan head and ignored her. Only a few sent her commiserating glances for her suffering and, despite how much she loved her hateful family, that stinging offense of the evening still rankled the normally docile kunoichi.

He never even congratulated her for passing the final exam only chiding her not to embarrass the clan in the mediocre performance of her duties to come.

She hadn't even remembered washing before sliding into the steaming bath but, as she slipped beneath the warm waters, her deep-seated sigh at its embrace filled the steamy room. As she soaked in the luxurious heat, her eyes drifted closed only to fill her mind's eyes with rosy images of the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen floating above the cutest pair of cheek whiskers.

Before too long, her hands began to wander as she lost herself in Naruto-World, her favorite place to be.

~III~


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Okay, thought I was out of the build-up phase and on to the action, but I forgot a very important step dealing with the clones. Things should progress faster now that this is out of the way, and, by default, this will (over time) address the majority of the OCs and why they're there. Keep in mind, the earlier sections of the book are disjointed because Naruto's mind is disjointed. We're slowly putting things back to normal.

 **Zabzab:** We now begin the official transition from OC-centric writing (to establish backdrop) to focusing on our protagonist (Naruto).

 **Thor94:** Never fear. This story is about Naruto, but I needed enough filler to set the stage first and show how the story would differ from canon. The intent is to parallel the original story but not duplicate it, obviously given the whole instability plot with the odd carbon copies.

Back to the story then.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Edited 25 JAN 2019 for clarity and flow. Sometimes it's nice to have a day off and just write.**

 **A/N Jan2020:** For those losing heart in this story because they don't understand what's going on, I will provide the following hint:

Familiarize yourself with the first Hangover movie (I never watched the second or third movie). This story is written under the same premise meaning that the MC's life is missing several critical pieces and spends the vast majority of it re-assembling his life. The clones at the beginning are merely a symptom of a larger problem.

I hope this helps clear up the "fractured pace" of the story and provides a larger backdrop to help you understand why it's written the way it is.

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 _ **Chapter 5: No Pain, No Gain**_

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 **~ Previously on** _ **No More…**_

 _The clock chimed its cheerful chirping beep only to get smashed by the same groggy hand searching for eating implements a moment before. The figure standing next to the bed counted to zero back from ten before a bulging vein appeared on his neatly coiffured forehead. With a snarl, he bent at the knees, gripped the edge of the bed frame, then heaved flipping it – and its contents – onto the hardwood floor._

" _Aaaah! Enemy attack! Man the walls! Repel all boarders! Alert the ANBU!" A still groggy but now wide-awake Naruto climbed out from under the bed frame to come face to face with a highly polished pair of boots. Blinking still bleary eyes as they panned up to the clenched jaw and red face of the militant clone, Naruto tried his best to present a sheepish smile to break the ice._

 _The bulky chakra construct smiled back but it carried no warmth. "Morning, princess. Sleep well, did we?" Naruto nodded back pleasantly. The clone's face immediately morphed into one of rage as he started yelling at the top of his lungs._

" _On yer feet, maggot! How dare you keep me waiting?! Weren't you supposed to be poppin' tall and rarin' to go at zero-five? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?!" Naruto struggled out from under his bed and glanced at the clock that now read zero-five-zero-three and gulped._

 _The clone continued unabated clearly not expecting a coherent response._

" _You have exactly two minutes to guss-up and meet me on the street, maggot! Do. NOT. Keep. Me. Waiting!" As Naruto scrambled about in a frenzy, he began to wonder exactly what the hell he'd signed up for. Whatever lay in store, this would be the last time he kept the angry PTSD victim waiting on him._

~III~

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 **~ Monday Morning, Week 1: Outskirts of Konoha…Somewhere ~**

 _He'd finally made it to the street outside his apartment despite still being in a state of shock. Without knowing why he was standing at rigid attention, Naruto stood "locked-up" waiting patiently for the irrational clone to stop glaring at his wristwatch. Too tired to even ponder how the clone even had one when no one else did, he simply accepted it and pushed on as the furrowed eyebrows before him opened up to show a pair of steely deep blues and a firmly clenched jaw hard enough to chew stone._

" _For every minute you make me wait, I add another lap around Konoha. Today, you made me wait an extra seven and a half minutes so that means eight extra spins around the zoo, cupcake." Naruto couldn't believe he was about to do this, but he calmly raised his hand as if asking permission to speak at the academy. He didn't know why but it just felt…safe?_

" _Ano…shouldn't that only be seven and a half laps then?" The teen age drill sergeant snapped right up into his face looking for all the world like his tomato-colored head was going to explode._

" _We are men of action! The easy way, and those that follow it, is beneath us! Are you suggesting that we take the easy way and give less than what is owed?!"_

 _He could only shake his head meekly at the obvious trap. His teacher for the morning made what would become his most dreaded seal of the day before pulsing a short blast of chakra into Naruto's chest, the entire string of kanji tied to the lower spike of his resistance seal glowing a bright orange before tendrils snaked out across his body engaging the seal array. Gulping as he felt the world weighing down on his limbs and back, the blond Genin could only sigh in relief that the other five spires of the diamond array hadn't been engaged._

 _He didn't think he could stand under that much weight._

" _Move it, cupcake!" With a heavy sigh, he began plodding down the street towards the south gate leading out of the Red-Light District before hanging a sharp left near its precipice and hugging the inside of the wall._

That scene played over and over again in his head as Naruto struggled along just under an hour later. He didn't have enough moisture in his mouth to spit with since it was all over his face, neck, chest, pretty much everywhere in the form of sweat. Everything burned. Sadly enough, his red-faced tormentor seemed fresh as a daisy.

"Give it a rest, cupcake!" Naruto stopped on a dime, which wasn't hard as he was only moving about one kilometer an hour by this point. Swaying briefly on his feet, the heavily-puffing shinobi sank to his knees and slowly walked his upper body out until he was laying facedown on the trampled grass.

"Ten minutes then we move on to the first exercise." The clone stalked off to lean casually against a tree, his arms folded as he glared at the nearly unconscious male.

Oh, the horrible things he wanted to do to his torturer. If only Naruto had the strength…

As warmth began to flood back into his throbbing limbs, Naruto briefly wondered if he could duck in to hug the Kyuubi. He'd been told that the great fox had agreed to help by healing him through his training tribulations, but he'd laughed that off in a fit of near hysteria. He'd been trying for years to get the cantankerous feather duster to even acknowledge him without success. To hear that he was willing to help, _pfft!_ Not gonna happen.

But to actually feel the beast's youki being purified into the usable youki-chakra mix through the seal before flooding out to soothe his destroyed body was nigh heavenly. The fur bag had come through after all. Too bad he could hear the clone approaching before his body was done recovering and, with a sigh, rolled his head over enough to stare at that same hateful pair of polished boots.

"You took twenty-three minutes longer than our allotted hour to complete your laps. That means our lost time will need to come out of your sparring window as physical development cannot suffer for your softness." Naruto only glared up spitefully.

"On your feet, maggot."

What followed next was a brutal gauntlet of calisthenics: push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, squats, inverted sit-ups (while hanging by his feet from a tree branch with Kemuri's handy motivator – a rope tied to his ankles), more push-ups, short sprints, tumbling and acrobatics, plus flipping over large rocks – or throwing ones that were too small to flip over - with his hands as a bonus.

When Kemuri finally let him stop, he promptly turned on a dime and staggered back up the street to his home where he flopped down in the entry way preparing to pass out. Only Kemuri reminding him to create the other clones kept him from doing so immediately.

"This will never do." Ku-chan nodded to the other two female clones. "Please get him cleaned up while I prepare a big breakfast." Pushing chakra into their arms, the two females hefted a limp limb apiece dragging the equally noodly body into the bathroom.

About ten minutes later, Naruto's girlish scream echoed through the apartment much to Kemuri's satisfied chuckle.

A very red faced and very wide-awake shinobi settled in at the breakfast table five minutes later, his head lowered and unable to meet the eyes of either of the smirking female clones.

 **~ Still Monday Morning, Naruto's Apartment ~**

Naruto sighed in contentment. Warm chakra continued to circulate throughout his exhausted limbs, and now he had a belly full of good food even if it wasn't the food of the gods. He watched numbly in gratitude as the beautiful red head took his plate and cup away. His eyes lingered on her back and, somewhere in the back of his head, he wondered if this was what it could be like to have a mother figure in his life. Before he could dwell too long on that spark, Chishiki cleared his throat to gain his attention.

Turning back to the table, his eyes were drawn to a stack of folded parchment sheets connected by a half dozen lockable rings. There had to be three or four dozen sheets clipped together, the steel rings allowing for the addition of more pages as the collected knowledge of the group grew over time.

"This tome represents the sum of our collective knowledge," the chakra construct began. "Each of us will maintain a section so long as we are with you so that you can keep what we've gained." Naruto looked up with concern.

"You guys are my clones so you're not going anywhere, right?" Chishiki smiled but chose to move on with his presentation.

"The first section belongs to Kemuri-kun." He flipped open the cover showing a page with the Uzu royal seal, each swirl of the design held the kanji for the clone's name and a page number. Unfortunately, the only section with an actual number yet was the first one as the remaining pages had yet to be decided. "You may or may not be the one to finalize these." The long-haired priest looked up with another gentle smile. "We'll play that by ear, won't we?"

Then they flew through each section so he was familiar with the content but, for the short time slot given to the sedate clone, it all came back to the second chunk containing his school lessons with Chishiki.

"The goal here isn't to make us a super scholar. That will eventually fall to you. No, our task is to repair, with as much fidelity as possible, the years of academic neglect involved in your education. Our sessions will consist of two parts. The first section will always contain something practical that you can apply to daily life. The second will be a very focused piece of knowledge useful to shinobi." Chishiki turned to the first topic of the day and Naruto's eyes closed half way with annoyance immediately.

Opening up the first tri-folded sheet, lines upon lines of neat script reinforced with immaculately-placed diagrams spelled out how to manage one's finances. Despite his abhorrence of math, the lesson actually progressed quickly so long as Chishiki broke it up into manageable chunks beginning with personal, moving on to single-family concerns, then ending up with Clan Financial Management combined with an introductory lesson on investments. Chishiki was very careful to use examples Naruto could relate to, such as planning ahead to deal with food shortages (using ramen as a key planning factor) or maintenance and cost upkeep for standard shinobi equipment.

Before he knew it, Naruto's eyes were being directed to the next tri-fold holding a medical layout of the human body surrounded by two circles, each circle holding sequentially smaller circles of different colors. The subject matter alone was enough to perk his interest – it was all about chakra. They spent the next half hour talking about what it was, where it came from, how to make it grow, how to gain better control, which sources were trainable, why other sources were beyond the reach of most people, and which types of chakra were superior or inferior to each other.

It was everything he'd missed in school condensed into a helpful study guide he could read through in fifteen minutes or so. When they finished, the questioning shock on his face brought a chuckle from Chishiki's whole body. Without answering he pointed to a stack of books that Tai-kun was hefting in preparation to returning them to the library.

"It's amazing what you can find at the library if you're patient and know what you're looking for." Naruto's wide-eyed blinking as the truth sunk in was good enough for the scholarly clone. The boy would never see that shinobi library in the same dismal light after today and that was more important to Chishiki that rote memorization. _Teach a man to fish, they say…_

"Your lessons with Keihatsu-kun will build upon this basic information so I highly recommend that you review it before his time and periodically thereafter to keep the information fresh. It will make things simpler once we have determined your chakra affinities." Naruto nodded in grim determination.

"I will attempt to group subject matter together to make review simpler, so more advanced chakra topics will appear near this sheet." Chishiki folded his hands peacefully into his lap, his lotus calm and relaxed. "Questions, Apex-sama?"

Naruto blinked in shock and responded with, "My name's Naruto." The top knot bobbed once in response.

"This is true, however, among multiple copies, which you have the ability to produce, it is simpler for clones to refer to you this way than Naruto-sama, The Boss, The Original, or any other title. This is especially true considering our goal is to make you the Apex Shinobi, a hunter among our kind. To achieve a dream, is to first believe in your ability to do so as well as to visualize what that end state will be. You cannot see yourself as anything less than the best ANBU the Land of Fire has ever seen, the penultimate hunter among the elite." The long-haired blond leaned in conspiratorially. "And you have very stiff competition at the top of that list."

Naruto nodded knowing exactly who sat at the top of that list. Itachi Uchiha.

As Chishiki floated up to his feet, he was promptly replaced by Naruko holding two bentos. A brief blush colored his cheeks as his face dropped to dig in for lunch, but the rowdy blond smacked him across the back of the head.

"Oi!" he railed indignantly but she would not back down.

"Since when are you shy?" He blinked back in confusion. "You think you won't have to deal with a naked female at some point during a mission? You think you won't walk in on your teammates, should you have a female one, and have to deal with a bare breast or bottom?" Her face wrinkled up in disapproval. "You need to get over this meekness if you hope to have a chance at infiltration, which I remind you," she angrily poked his chest with a finger to accentuate each word, "…Is. A. Shinobi's. Bread. And. Butter!"

They chewed quietly as she talked. Some of the material was benign, like when she thought it useful to use a _henge_ or even his improved transformation, which was solid. Other times, they talked about more traditional disguises such as using make up and wigs, things she'd had Tai-kun pull out of the library by the dozens until she'd whittled it all down to a high-quality guide.

A lot of it was subjective since the only real experience he had to work with came from his early years of pranking. He glanced through her section which already had a large number of reference pages, to include surveillance, stealth, lock picking, and traps, all skills he'd used to effective purpose terrorizing ANBU. Some other stuff she'd pulled out of reference, to include wire work, sleight of hand, pick-pocketing, Gili suits (and other natural-looking camouflage), plus other examples of low-tech infiltration used by old school ninja before chakra over took the profession. By the time, she'd wrapped up her first session, they had finished the bentos and Naruko had yanked him to his feet, snatched up both of his hands and plastered them to her rather large…assets.

Before his face could burst several blood vessels, she grabbed his cheeks and locked eyes with him.

"Every morning after your training with Kemuri, Fuu-chan and I are going to be showering with you until you get over being around naked females. You lock up on a mission and we're all gonzo, get me?" He nodded dumbly. "It helps if you remember I'm just a chakra copy of you. If you see all women like that, you'll be less likely to freeze up if a pretty face flashes you a little cleavage." She slapped his hands away and picked up the empty bentos before flashing a bright smile and heading off to the kitchen.

Naruto, despite holding it together for an hour with the head strong female persona, passed out and thumped loudly to the floor.

"Wow, nice bounce on that one," commented the raven-haired Fuu. Holding out her palm to the blonde, "I won. You owe me two red bean buns."

Naruko giggled and reached into the unconscious boy's wallet handing over a few hundred Ryu.

When the dazed original opened his eyes to the gently slapping palm of Keihatsu, the bald clone smiled until his eyes disappeared and helped him sit up, one palm holding up the still mostly-full Gama-chan.

"You may want to stay conscious around your clones, Apex-sama." Naruto nodded and stuffed the wallet back into a thigh pocket as the monk fluttered down into a lotus position. Naruto noticed a very contented Fuu munching happily on fresh buns, sharing one with the still Cheshire-like Naruko. He quickly turned back to his next lesson.

"Now that we are all awake, let us talk about chakra and how to manage it. You remember your earlier lesson?" Naruto nodded even as he accepted a fresh cup of tea from Ku-chan with thanks. "Good." The monk opened up his palm and held out a leaf for Naruto to take up.

"Please demonstrate the leaf floating exercise." Setting down the tea, Naruto held his hand palm up and focused chakra into its center.

It wasn't a complicated exercise. They'd spent an hour outside at the academy picking leaves and working on this basic chakra control exercise. Naruto, considering it a waste of time in his second year, never picked it up afterwards instead trying to get instructors to teach him incredibly awesome jutsu, which never happened due to his unlikable status. His lack of practice clearly showed.

The leaf wobbled and drifted across his palm. Sometimes it would spin left, slow, then reverse direction but never stayed in one spot nor spun with purpose or precision.

Keihatsu was not pleased.

"Apex-sama." Naruto looked up as he concentrated on the leaf in his palm. "How do you plan to master high-level jutsu if you cannot master the basics?" The leaf settled on his palm as the boy's face twisted up into irritation.

"This stuff was boring back in school. I just don't see the point of it when I have soo much chakra that I can't control it anyway!" Keihatsu merely shook his head in disappointment.

"You're giving up." The spiky blond mop across from his shook violently from side to side.

"NEVER!"

"But you already have. You just did." The monk's face was serene in his condemnation.

"I'm here, _aren't I_?"

"Are you?" Naruto blinked at the recrimination, opened then closed his mouth a few times, then glanced down to the crushed leaf in his fisted palm.

He'd sworn to give it his best as his part of the agreement. They'd sworn to help him relearn what he should have learned during his time at the academy. In reality, all he'd done all day was question and balk at their efforts. Even now, as he flailed at the leaf floating exercise, all he'd done was to give a half-hearted effort.

He'd half-assed his own nindo. It was an epiphany, of sorts, but Keihatsu's face showed that he understood.

Realizing he'd jumped to his feet during his outburst, the substantially subdued Genin folded back down into a lotus and summoned a fresh clone. It darted out of the apartment only to return a few minutes later with a hand full of fresh leaves. Setting them down in front of the original, the clone took one for himself and plopped down right along next to the new Apex-sama and silently began the same exercise.

Chishiki nodded and Naruto took up another leaf and began focusing on keeping it centered in his palm.

"While we train together, you will summon ten clones for each indoor session. Once you have mastered this basic skill, we will move on to more advanced applications." The clone gently tapped the still open novel they were working on to indicate his section and the notes within.

Wordlessly, Naruto summoned nine more copies and they all took up a leaf. Soon, the living room was abuzz with the sound of chakra humming and leaves fluttering on invisible currents. Keihatsu, for his part, began a sing-song monotone as he explained why better chakra control was needed.

Wasteful usage of chakra depleted your supply needlessly running the risk of leaving you defenseless before the enemy. By honing your control, your offensive and defensive jutsus not only became more powerful but allowed you to use them more often. With higher levels of control, you gained the ability to learn more complex jutsus and, short of requiring a kekkei genkai, allowed you to develop your individual chakra affinities (yes, you can learn more than one, however, we will address that in another lesson) or enabled you to learn rarer skills like medical ninjutsu.

Naruto nodded once as sweat beaded his brow in concentration, but he never took his eyes off the leaf hovering gently in the middle of his palm.

Near the end of their session, Keihatsu-kun asked him to dispel the extra clones in groups of two or three then asked him to repeat the leaf floating exercise. Glancing down at his palm, he was pleased to note that the leaf no longer wandered even if it slowly rotated in random directions. Smiling broadly, he happily proclaimed that he could master this by the middle of the week at this rate only to have Keihatsu hold up his own palm with a stack of leaves piled in the center.

Slowly, he brought each of his digits to the stack, touching each one lightly to a leaf before pulling away with a single green sheaf stuck to each finger. When there was one leaf in the center of his palm and one attached to the tip of every finger, he began to spin them all in the same direction before reversing it. To add insult to injury, he then began spinning them all in alternating rotations. Each leaf stayed exactly where it was applied regardless of their gyrations.

Naruto's jaw sprung open as if it was spring-loaded.

"Apex-sama, when you can do this on each hand you will have mastered this exercise and we can move on." As the monk closed his hand into a fist and calmly walked away, Naruto glared forlornly at the sole greenage in his calloused palm. He had a lot of work to do this week.

Dinner was a simple curry affair with rice, miso soup and green tea. The other clones had been absorbed so that the knowledge of the day could get reinforced into Naruto's swollen brain. Instead, he sat with Fuu-chan and Ku-onee-chan and talked quietly. Fuu showed him his finished holsters and went over how to apply chakra to push out the tool he needed, be it a kunai or a shuriken. He really didn't have a need for senbon but didn't throw the idea out all together since Ku-onee-chan's discussion centered mostly around medical topics and general first aid.

Senbon felt clumsy in his hands, too easy to lose or break, and his mind began to throw up alternatives to the item better reserved for acupuncture and medical pain relief.

Sometimes they joked with each other, sometimes they spoke of the future, just like he used to do with… He let that thought go. No use reminiscing over what was lost. With a sigh, he rose to gather the dishes despite Ku-chan's objections and made it as far as the sink before a knock sounded at the door. Popping off a normal clone, the other two disappeared with a wink as the door opened then closed shortly thereafter. Before he could turn around to see who had come to visit, the clone dispersed showing a message from the office of the Hokage. Wiping his hands dry on a towel, he cracked open the scroll and frowned at his latest summons.

He was to meet weekly with Inoichi Yamanaka every Wednesday at one in the afternoon. With a heavy sigh, he set the scroll aside, generated ten more clones to start their nightly patrol of the Red-Light District, then went back to the dishes.

Meeting weekly with a mind walker was never a pleasant prospect.

 **~ Hokage Mansion, the Hokage's Office ~**

Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded as the boar-faced ANBU vanished in a swirl of leaves and wind.

"You're sure this will work, Inoichi?" The younger clan head nodded as he replaced his steaming teacup on the saucer atop the Hokage's desk.

"Of course, Hokage-sama. My clan has used these techniques to help restore fractured minds before. We simply need to proceed with deliberate care less we risk a catastrophic schism. Should that happen then the boy would be lost irreparably." The Sandaime's gaze took in the light rain of the evening on the streets below, people sporting umbrellas and dashing for the safety of warm hearths and homes.

"How long then until he's…," he struggled for the appropriate word, "…corrected?"

"We can safely reintegrate one per week. Anything faster introduces uncontrollable factors I'd rather avoid. Short answer would be eight weeks, barring C-rank or greater missions, from the time we start and based on what I've seen from that first walk."

"What about the Kyuubi?" the elder asked with clear concern.

Inoichi shook his head dismissively, "He appears to be isolated from directly impacting the boy's mind although he maintains the guard on certain sectors. I should be working far enough from his seal for it not to be much of an issue." Hiruzen seemed skeptical but had to defer to the specialist.

"Very well but I'd make your intentions clear to the beast first. There's no telling what could set it off or change it's mind concerning it's historical lack of involvement."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." With a bow, Inoichi took one last swig of tea before vacating the office. He had much to prepare before their first session in two days.

The Hokage turned back to the window after Inoichi's departure with a heavy heart and sigh to match. "Oh, Minato-kun. How I have failed you."

 **~ Tuesday Morning, Still Week 1 ~**

Naruto plodded along their course, this time in the opposite direction. The morning had begun (fortunately) on time as he'd set his alarm fifteen minutes earlier and created a second clone when he'd spawned Kemuri the night before. This lucky contestant had the specific task of making sure he was awake and moving before the angry action figure clone could.

He made an additional mental note to get himself out of bed before said clone could douse him with another blast of cold water. Waking to the sensation of drowning in a frozen lake was not pleasant even if it did work.

While Chishiki and the gang were adjusting the Wednesday schedule to accommodate the shrink session, Naruto's mind was trying to focus on anything other than placing one foot in front of the other. While the dragging sensation on his limbs seemed a bit less, running twenty laps around the village was still a chore. Before he knew it, it was back to scrambling across the abandoned training area and flinging rocks around haphazardly. To make matters worse, every time he completed a set, Kemuri snarkily retorted that he'd be adding five more repetitions the following day. Naruto groaned several times that morning to the repeated discovery that hard work was its own reward.

Fortunately, he did not quit nor complain. Not once.

Dragging himself back to the apartment, the beet-faced Genin tried to gut out his shower with the two female clones trying to convince himself that he was just using clones to speed up the process. Unfortunately, neither one felt much like a clone and, since he could at least stand under his own power, him having to help scrub them clean didn't help at all. The explosion of blood from his nose only made a bigger mess and he ended up passed out yet again, albeit for a different reason than from the first morning.

At least they had picked up extra towels so they each had their own.

The only difference in the day's lesson came with Fuu-chan vice Naruko's infiltration and information gathering session. Fuu had him focus on standard equipment load outs based on mission requirements and she grilled him over and over again giving him fifteen minutes to prepare a standard packout based on D through B-class missions. If he went over, she dumped out the whole kit without even checking the content and made him start all over again. When he met time, she critiqued him on content and made him re-pack the excess back into his storage seal before setting a new exercise.

Time left over was set aside for practice with small blades. Though he hated senbon, she still made him practice with them at their training area even setting up basic training targets they'd purchased from Higurashi's. Shuriken and kunai throwing followed for ten minutes apiece rounding out the first half hour. Then there was…

A dull "clack" echoed out across the ill-manicured training area. Naruto's blunted training kunai rebounded off of Fuu-chan's, her face beaming with her sadistic grin. A stunted blade in each hand, she ducked under his next swing and raked the tip across his rib cage. Dull though it was, the training tool was hard rubber with a weighted metal core and it left angry red welts across his bare chest.

Leaping back, the sweaty Genin sucked in a few hissing breaths while she stood casually near the center of the green patch, her kunai spinning rapidly around well-manicured fingers.

Pulsing red kanji beneath the resistance seal on his chest glowed dimly in the falling sunlight and Naruto was regretting the extra drag on his swings. She was fast enough without his handicap but now it was all he could do just to defend. Every time he went on the offensive, she added another decoration to his body. His back already sported another three or four (he'd lost count surrendering to the constant burning itch) and lamented that she'd started focusing on his chest.

Figuring he'd wasted enough time, Fuu's eyes disappeared behind an upgraded smile as she flexed her knees and charged. Groaning at the beating to come, Naruto brought both training weapons up in a reverse grip across his chest and began deflecting her cuts as best he could.

She promised to help him refine his fighting technique but today was an opportunity to "feel out" his fighting base. If feeling out his fighting base meant going home looking like a bruised side of beef, she was doing an admirable job.

Another agonizing scream echoed across the night sky in the Red-Light District.

 **Wednesday,** **Week 1: Naruto's Apartment – Early the Next Morning ~**

Naruto rolled back into the apartment the next morning stiff and struggling. Kemuri had increased his resistance by another two kanji on the next clockwise spiral halfway through the run. Then he proceeded to burn him out by adding another section of reps to every event.

Naruto didn't even fight the shower.

Beyond that the rest of the morning was a blur. Even lunch, normally a sedate affair, was a blurry haze. Throwing a black and orange jacket over dark blue pants and a white tee shirt, he strolled from the apartment at noon headed for the Market District. He didn't know why the meeting today wasn't in the same office they borrowed in Hokage Tower, but it didn't really matter to him.

A head shrink session was a head shrink session and he wasn't planning on talking much anyway. To Naruto, it was all a waste of time regardless.

Spotting his destination, he squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, then pushed open one half of the double doors.

A bell chimed and Ino began her normal greeting without looking up from her magazine. "Welcome to Yamanaka Florals, how can I-." Her mantra came to an abrupt halt once she saw a familiar set of blue eyes and whiskered cheeks.

"Wha-Naruto? What the hell do you want?" He grimaced in response and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Refusing to rise to the bait, his eyes looked past her shoulder to the service door behind her as he seemed set on just standing there.

"Hey! You can't just hang out here. Either you're buying or you're walking, so pick one!" It was as he plopped down into one of the waiting area chairs, elbows on knees without acknowledging her outbursts or meeting her gaze, that the elite beauty lost her cool and stormed around the counter. She marched purposefully to plant both feet in front of his face, hands on hips, which were uncomfortably close enough to force him to lean back in the seat and look up into her angry eyes, eyes that were full of indignant rage.

"Last chance before I mind-melt you and walk your sorry ass out of here, Uzumaki."

"That'll be enough, Ino." Her eyes never left his, but she bristled, teeth grinding as she saw the boy's face meld seamlessly in a shitty grin.

Inoichi stepped forward wiping his hands on a shop towel before offering one to his new patient. "Come with me, Naruto-san. The sooner we get our session started, the sooner you can get back to a more comfortable environment." He offered a well-calloused palm, which the boy rose and shook in return, before leading them back to his ground-floor office. Naruto saw the inner gossip gleam in the girl's eyes and figured she'd be after him to spill the details, but he wrote it off as another chance to tweak her nerves.

Before too long, he found himself lounging on an inclined couch with the older blond seated in a chair just behind him.

"So," he started cautiously, "…how is this supposed to work?"

"Well, we're just going to talk." Inoichi's voice was mellow, soothing. Despite his best efforts, Naruto found himself sinking into the couch and relaxing, the tension bleeding from his shoulders.

"Talk…talk about what?"

"Well, why don't we start with what started this whole change in your life. Let's talk about the Mizuki incident." The boy automatically tensed and Inoichi caught it straight away. "Ah, before that…"

Naruto heard him rise from his chair and walk over to his desk, his head turning to follow the man's movements. Pushing chakra into one palm, the tall figure placed his open hand on the desktop and Naruto saw glowing vines swirl off the desk surface, to the floor, up the walls and across each window and door to the room before shooting across the ceiling.

"Now, we should be free to talk about whatever you want without fear of someone listening in." The elder shinobi's ice blue orbs flickered to the door he knew his daughter was listening at with an evil parental grin at foiling her plot to snoop. Certain they were now safe, he scooted his chair closer to the couch so that he was within arm's reach of his patient.

"Okay, let's start over. Tell me how you felt starting with how your day went during graduation. Start at the final exam."

~III~

Ino stormed from the door with an angry hiss. Her father was a sneaky one, but she clearly heard the "Mizuki incident." Instead of returning to her magazine, the girl began pacing behind the counter, one arm wrapped around her slender waist and the other elbow resting on that arm with her teeth worrying at a thumbnail. _'Naruto was involved in the Mizuki betrayal?! Oh shit! This can't be true…'_ She was so lost in conspiracy damage control she completely missed the civilian customer walking in under the door's pleasant chime.

"Excuse me…" the woman started only to be interrupted by an impatient Ino.

"Yeah, sure grab whatever you want. Pansies are half off this week." Ino promptly returned to her brainstorming ignoring the woman's affronted pause. Her mind flipped back to their impromptu lunch with the gang at Yakiniku Q.

' _Damn it all, that means Shika was right!'_ Her eyes ballooned comically. _'Soo… was he an instigator or an informant?'_ Now she was really curious. That curiosity burst like a hot air balloon as she remembered their most recent encounter. _'No way he'll share if he sees me as a threat. I need to get on the inside track.'_

"Excuse me," the quiet customer asked.

At first, she shivered. The thought of being close to the Uzumaki was a socially-repugnant one. He was a pariah, an outcast of epic proportions. Just being seen with him was enough to get her banned to the fringes of polite society. Was it worth it?

"Excuse me!" the woman asked a bit more forcefully holding a clutch of plain white tulips.

' _Ugh! Maybe I can ask Hinata for advice. She's been gaga over that reject forever. She may even know where he hangs out!'_ The lady gently tapped her forearm snapping the spiraling girl out of her quandary much to her annoyance.

"WHAT?!" Ino snapped back, causing the woman to flinch. Seeing the tiny bunch of flowers, she snatched them quickly, wrapped them in soft paper, spritzed them with a little baby's breath and handed them back as she walked around the counter to help the older woman outside.

"But… but… I haven't-."

"No need. They're free. Have a nice day!" She unceremoniously shoved the woman outside and locked the door behind her flipping the open sign to "Closed, be back in fifteen minutes."

' _I bet Forehead won't believe this when I tell her! Kiba is a good tracker… I wonder if we can get him to spy on Naruto?'_

~III~

Inoichi leaned back in his chair shaking off the lethargy of using chakra for prolonged periods of time, his hand detaching from the child's forehead. Looking down at the peacefully sleeping boy, he couldn't see him as anything other than a child not more than a few years older than his own little girl.

Thinking like that would likely get him scolded and he corrected his mental mistake less Ino get word of it. She was a kunoichi now and, if stories held true, this young man was just as deadly if not more so.

He'd beaten a Chunin instructor single-handedly and that was notable in and of itself. Allegedly, he'd caught a serial psychotic in the slums a few years ago. The boy was dangerous and he couldn't, for his family's sake, see him as anything less than a shinobi.

As the boy began to stir, he hoped his actions wouldn't end in a Kyuubi-induced rage leveling the village or, more specifically, his family dwelling. Having the Kyuubi vessel as a mortal enemy would be a terrible thing to suffer through.

"Ngh! What hit me?" He sounded groggy but unstressed. That was good, Inoichi noted.

"You dozed off. Do you feel better?" Naruto bolted up and sheepishly bowed to the Jounin, one hand behind his head.

"Ah! Sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean to-." Inoichi waived it off. He could see the boy was exhausted when he arrived. This actually played into his hands.

I'm fine if our sessions devolve into you resting. It's a good sign. It means you feel safe here. If you feel safe, that means you'll eventually open up." The older shinobi rose and deactivated the privacy seals in the room.

"Remember, I want you to take it easy tonight and go to bed early. It's natural to be a little light headed after a session like this and you'll need to recover mentally. Next week we can sort through these feelings of loneliness you're struggling with, okay?"

Naruto's face was calm, relaxed. He stood up cautiously from the couch and bowed to the guy letting him snore on his five-thousand Ryu sofa. _'Wonder if I can find a used one somewhere?'_

Walking out with an easy smile on his face, and another shitty smirk in Ino's direction, he actually whistled a happy tune all the way home ignoring the hateful stares he passed along the way. His good mood lasted through the rest of the night much to the "gang's" surprise, that is until he tried to summon Kemuri just before bed.

Instead he got a blond duplicate of himself, its eyes blinking in surprise.

Naruto dispelled the clone and tried again, this time focusing with everything he had on Kemuri's annoying buzzcut and rock-solid jawline.

He got another duplicate only this time it had slightly more chakra.

"What… the…actual…FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"

~III~

* * *

 _ **Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom**_

 _ **by Minato Namikaze**_

 _ **Chapter 2: Self Control is the Key to Greatness**_

 _Epictetus once said, "No man is free who is not master of himself_." _The same holds true many centuries later, more so in the shinobi world than any other._

 _Chakra is the breath of life, literally, to all that we do. Among non-shinobi it is the life energy that powers them through their daily routines and gives them the strength to persevere through great crisis. Among the shinobi world, it is the elixir that empowers us to the fantastical…and to the truly monstrous._

 _For the most famous, or infamous, examples of either, you need look no further than the Great Shinobi Wars of our illustrious past. The question of note is how did we get to that point? Where did the phenomenal wielders of chakra from those epic historical milestones learn their respective crafts? How did they mold and shape the mythical powers that made their names a household reference, for good or ill?_

 _It is simple really. They began with the leaf floating exercise._

 _Okay, not every major shinobi village used the same training principle, but they all have their own version of the leaf exercise. Kiri uses a small bit of water. Iwa uses stones. Kumo uses small chunks of ferrous metals to focus electrical affinities. Suna uses sand to harness wind and train their wind users. The tools differ but the end results remain the same._

 _Better control over chakra for more powerful ninjutsu._

 _So, let us take a closer look at that tiny leaf you're no doubt glaring at in disdain and what it means for a fresh shinobi…_

~III~


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Lots of interest in the clone concept for this fanfic. I was planning to wrap up and explain most of the theory behind it this chapter (and I will), however, some things should probably get cleared up before we delve into Chapter 6. Also, I'm planning to go back and smooth out Chapters 1-5 (I have probably missed out on a few errors).

Technically, I should be focusing on the _Beast_ sequel. Weren't they dealing with some pesky Kage kidnapping drama..?

 **Zabzab:** I have a terrible (?) tendency to string out hints throughout chapters, sometimes even multiple chapters, as to why I am including a particular mechanic in my stories. I suppose it's an odd twitch in the way my brain creates.

That said, in Chapter 2, I make the first allusion to the fact that Naruto can in fact create both these modified clones and the "normal" shadow clones we're accustomed to. Take for instance this excerpt taken directly from Chapter 2:

" _For once in his life, Naruto Uzumaki wasn't totally alone anymore, and he had minions to support him in his future plans to rule the shinobi world. He just had to figure out what the hell was going on first and why they weren't all exact duplicates of the original… like the first couple hundred he'd blasted into being during the_ _Great Mizuki Beat Down_ _. Well, first things first…"_

I do not specifically spell out how as that will be part of the clone wrap-up with Inoichi (have to leave something for folks to read as I tie it all together). I am also going to explain the "understood mechanic" behind the phenomenon and, believe it or not, this is a concept that grew out of the technical explanation I devised during _Nature of the Beast_ when working through the jutsu's fundamental application.

I'll let Inoichi explain more in this chapter and briefly in the next (there's just too much to cover in this one).

 **Zabzab/ Kon:** While I don't normally explain all of the twists in my sick head, I think it important to explain a bit of the clone's genesis and purpose to this one.

The idea for the "fragmented clone" is purely an exercise at dealing with emotional trauma and I never really accepted the fact that Naruto, despite the world of craptastical stuff in his life, emerged as an uber, well-adjusted teen equally capable of talking down S-ranked super villains as he was saving the day or killing with minimal emotional/psychological scarring. There are elites that have been doing this since…ever… and at best you have Asuma and Kurenai (the most well-adjusted killers in Canon) and at worse you have Gai and Itachi (one freakishly addicted to over-exuberance and the other a deranged mass-murdering nutjob now working with a group out to take over the world). The very notion is inconsistent and insulting on an intellectual level.

They were _never_ intended to be a long-term story concept but a way to facilitate getting the jinchuuriki the necessary help to correct years of emotional and mental abuse/trauma. Let's face it, who on their own would be motivated to help the demon brat out of the kindness of their heart?

Furthermore, I refuse to buy in to that construct and have chosen to deal with repeated trauma and mental destruction to my hero through this odd application of the Shadow Clone Jutsu.

I get it that trauma affects everyone differently and the relative strength of the psyche varies from person to person, however, if that were the case then why aren't more and more shinobi/ kunoichi displaying more quirks than closet perversion (*cough Ebisu)? No, the clones are used as more than a plot device to move the initial story forward since I'm not going over the first 13 or 14 years of his life in detail. It's a mechanism I'm using as a means to heal his damaged psyche and help strengthen Naruto for his future career as a government assassin. After all, there is little chance that he's not going to repeat similar trauma or, best case, be the instigator of repeat trauma for others, something inherently more damaging to someone with Naruto's unique mental composition.

That's just my odd position on this spin. I'll leave the final clone explanation to Inoichi and the crazy-people experts in the story.

Oh, and I'll also try to explain in a coherent reason why some of his more aware doppelgangers are female vice male.

Enough (VERY) amateur psychology then. Back to the story...

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **A/N: Updated Feb 22, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 6: Bloom Where You're Planted**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More…**_

 _Walking out with an easy smile on his face, and another shitty smirk in Ino's direction, he actually whistled a happy tune all the way home ignoring the hateful stares he passed along the way. His good mood lasted through the rest of the night much to the "gang's" surprise until he tried to summon Kemuri just before bed._

 _Instead he got a blond duplicate of himself, its eyes blinking in surprise._

 _Naruto dispelled the clone and tried again, this time focusing with everything he had on Kemuri's annoying buzzcut and rock-solid jawline._

 _He got another duplicate only this time it had slightly more chakra._

 _"What… the…actual…FUUUUUUUUUUCK?!"_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Wednesday Evening, Week 1: Naruto's Apartment ~**

What followed began as a comical tribute to Saturday morning cartoons everywhere. The overpowered clone Naruto summoned stood in the center of what passed as the living room with his arms calmly folded across his chest and one eyebrow raised in perplexity. An entertained pair of azure orbs tracked the golden blur as the original zipped all about the apartment flinging odds and ends about searching, and repeatedly calling, for Kemuri-kun to "stop playing and come out of hiding." The humor began to fade, and the clone's face began to flush with embarrassment, as he noticed the increased urgency of the original's increasingly panicked voice so, being a copy of the original, he naturally tried to help.

"Ano… Boss, shouldn't you ask that guy, Chimichanga clone? Maybe he knows?" Eyes startlingly wide with sudden recognition, Naruto made the cross-fingered seal and created seven clones, his mind clearly picturing the entire collage of images.

With less smoke than normal billowing about the now cramped quarters, the clone off-handedly mumbled something about, "he's getting better," before walking over to sit between the bookended blond and crimson haired females. When one looked questioningly at him, he merely shrugged away any possible explanation and instead focused on the original now frantically waving his arms and trying to explain his crisis to Chishiki.

Chishiki tried to calm the excited clone factory by gently patting the air to indicate that he should stop to breathe in the next few minutes before Naruto hyperventilated and passed out.

Neither appeared to be conveying their individual messages over the other but that didn't stop Naruto from trying.

"He's gone!" the original began at a near-roar.

"Who's gone?"

" _Kemuri!"_ Chishiki blinked innocently.

"What? Did he not pay his share of the rent?" The flat stare on Naruto's face almost stopped the rampant snickering that followed. Apparently, he did not find the joking to be relaxing.

"Always a joke with everyone, even my own clones." Chishiki blinked reflexively, his own chuckling dying away when he noticed the unhealthy dose of quiet in Naruto's voice. This was a good thing, right? The original would be healthy again so… why didn't he understand that? He opened his mouth to ask about that particular point of logic when the original kept going, his voice growing even quieter forcing all the other clones not standing directly next to him to strain their hearing.

Something felt...off. Normally, even when annoyed or perturbed, the original radiated warmth and ease. He was a pleasure to be near and his aura was calming. This was different. There was a great deal of frustration and anger rolling off him and an unspecified danger pulsed outward from wherever he stood, or paced. Air all around him felt heavy, oppressive even forcing some of the clones to unconsciously back away with real concern showing on their faces. What's worse was while all of the clones were registering the difference in Naruto's presence, he had continued his rant about disrespect none of it sounding very promising.

"Why not? Been getting kicked around by the whole village… why not from my own clones?" His eyes were darkening, actually turning purplish. "Failures never earn respect. People step on them all the time so why wouldn't adults take advantage of me as well?" The unnamed clone seated between two of the girls was slowly standing up again…

"Gotta take care of this ourselves… gotta make them respect us." That last word actually made Chishiki flinch. "Yeah… if they don't fear me, they'll never respect me. Can't let _him_ get away with this…"

The last part was a whisper as Naruto's head came up enough to show a pair of blood red eyes with black slits for pupils. The sheer malevolence rolling off him actually forced Chishiki back a step in fear before, just like the wind, Naruto burst from the apartment, leaped over the railing to the ground below, then bolted up the street back to the Market Quarter.

The receding presence of that angry chakra did little to ease Chishiki's chakra brain. A blond ponytail whipped about as his eyes locked onto the emerald green orbs belonging to Fuu.

"Follow him! He's not pushing any information back through the tether, we need to stay on top of this, and you're the only one that can keep up." The dark-haired copy nodded once before slipping out of the still-open door and up to the rooftops.

Once airborne, it became child's play to keep track of the irrational shinobi during his youki-laced temper tantrum. All she had to do was follow the growing trail of house lights as they winked on along both sides of the street accompanied by the occasional sounds of small children crying and barking animals. Like a rapidly-growing snake in the smothering darkness, its trail wound directly through the heart of Konoha and back to the Market District. Streaking from rooftop to rooftop, the leather-clad shadow clone raced to catch up.

 **~ Two Blocks North of Naruto's Apartment Building… ~**

Four pairs of soft eyes looked up from their circle of leftover take out, hooded robes, dusty tomes, and scrolls. They felt the dark caress of demonic youki wash over their bodies, bodies that shivered as delicious chills shot up four remarkably sensitive and curvy spines.

"His power grows," the sky-blue set of eyes chirped out happily. Luxurious locks of platinum blond hair spilled out of her hood as she hunched over her set of obscure literature.

"How long until the next batch is ready?" the crimson-colored pair responded from under the snow-white hood. Dark ringlets framed the heart-shaped face.

"The next delivery of foci is expected in just over a month from the Land of Tea," the hazel-colored pair responded.

"Excellent," the jade-colored pair crooned. She then glanced over at the last spring roll and asked the woman with red eyes, "You planning on eating that?"

 **~ While Naruto Was Still Running Through Konoha… ~**

Sitting inside _The Konohan_ , a well-manicured pub catering to prosperous guildsmen and women of the Market District, Koaru Aono sat cozied up to the bar with one meaty fist wrapped around a bitter western concoction called _biru._ It was the latest fashion among the well-heeled and, in his honest opinion, way overpriced despite its piss-yellow coloring. It's only saving grace happened to be the enormous variety of hues and flavors one could pick from. Even still, his nightly limit was one extremely pale variety affectionately referred to as "the blonde" served in a tankard with fresh slices of citrus fruit floating merrily around in the less bitter brine.

Saddled on either side by two of his more recent "associates," Koaru lifted his mostly-full tankard in preparation for more aftertaste-riddled scowling when the air pressure nearly flattened him to the bar. The sounds of glass shattering throughout the establishment as drink after drink smashed against the wooden floor rang out with the now panicked and screaming customer base who were moments before laughing and cavorting while trying to one-up each other. Even his drinking buddies for the night were shaking, sweating, and panting uncontrollably.

Some wept openly, whimpering things like, "It's back!" or "The demon is loose!" as that ominous feeling of dread seemed to draw closer. More than a few of the older patrons lost control of their bladders and bowels adding to the blossoming stench of human fear.

Sliding from the bar stool, Koaru staggered to the exit, his legs trembling as he weaved through wailing patrons. Cracking open the door just as the monstrous pressure weighing down on Koaru's body threatened to suffocate him, he peeked out in time to see a pair of crimson eyes shift to his face as the blond hair and fanged sneer of Naruto Uzumaki streaked by.

Everything happened as if in slow motion, his own heartbeat echoing soundly as he stood there dumbstruck. The blond ran in shinobi fashion, his arms laid out behind his body as he leaned forward into the horrendously quick pace. His eyes were slitted…like some animal… and glowing. As Koaru finally felt his knees give out, a hand snatched him back from the doorway and, with the popping suddenness of reality, everything seemed to return back to normal speed.

As his back slammed up against the wall next to the now closed door, Koaru looked up into the angry eyes of the doorman and grimaced at the throbbing pain in his back. Vaguely, he was aware of the demonic pressure in the air fading off in the distance as he accepted a lecture from more than one person about recklessly exposing them to the demon threat.

' _What was I thinking?'_ He wasn't thinking… he was reacting. He was looking to flee like some terrified animal and that realization left a very bitter taste in his mouth.

' _No more.'_ Those words raced through his mind even as his jaw set firmly in determination, the angry scolding lost to the background noise of recovering cowards. He would not be like the rest of them.

He had a plan. He had a destiny waiting for him. It was time to take matters into his own hands.

~III~

 **~ In the Heart of the Market District ~**

Ino had just started to drift off to sleep, her favorite picture of her tragic love interest being the last image of the day as part of her normal bedtime ritual. Most often than not the enlarged profile of her favorite Uchiha, carefully taken so as not to overly annoy him during afternoon spars, often spurred the best dreams. Her face twisted up in annoyance briefly as her stomach suddenly became queasy.

Trying to shrug it off, she jostled around under her covers and even tried to fluff up her pillows again in order to get comfortable. _'Ugh, that's what I get for listening to mom and eating half a serving tonight. I'll have to go extra light for the next few days so that I don't get too fat for Sasuke-kun.'_

She was a kunoichi now, so Ino kept telling herself that she'd have to brave through stuff like this despite the growing sense of unease. A nasty chill shot up her arms and she yanked the covers viciously up around her chin, her body curling subconsciously into a fetal position.

Despite this sudden sense of discomfort, most nights her dreams were Sasuke-laden bliss. She was hoping that tonight would be no different and, if she followed her sacred _Sisterhood of the Sasuke-kun_ rituals, that it might lead to her being selected for his team. She ran through a quick set of meditation processes learned from her father to help quiet her mind, tonight a struggle more than any other, hoping that she could reach her inner nirvana of shirtless Sasukes lifting her up on their smooth backs. Her eyes had just fluttered closed as bare-chested Alpha Sasuke was sweeping in to carry her off to dreamland happy time when the first thundering booms down at street level sat her up in bed.

Then the fear hit her flush the moment her self-induced calm abandoned her.

~III~

Inoichi set down his paper and rose from his favorite chair as the first round of heavy pounding began to die away.

"Ichi-kun…" The worried voice of his wife drew his attention upstairs as his light blue eyes met her brown ones. He found it terribly hard to break the lock, his eyes softening at the concern on her face even as the door shuddered yet again under another assault. The angry sound made her jump, her eyes filled with fear, and she glanced through the walls in the direction of the door.

They could feel that angry mass of chakra at their front door, like pins and needles along their arms, legs, and backs.

To be honest, he was expecting this. Inoichi raised a hand as if to ward her away and keep her upstairs. With one last glance at his beloved wife, the director of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Division tore away from the face of his most cherished person and approached the now cracking front door of his home through his closed flower shop.

There was an angry, almost inhuman sounding voice on the other side of that door. The pressure weighing down on his soul was becoming unbearable and he tried to flood the air with his own _ki_ to keep his hands from shaking as he took out his keys.

"I'm coming! Give me a second to open up!" Unlocking and opening the inner glass doors to his shop, Inoichi (more calmly than he felt) unlocked the staying bolts for the heavy metal core doors used to secure the entry way. Taking a deep breath, he slid the dual security doors apart and paused at the sight of an extremely terrifying Naruto Uzumaki standing just off the small concrete step, his furious face backlit by the angry red glow of his demonic eyes.

Demonic eyes locked squarely on to Inoichi's face.

~III~

Ino, shivering terribly, slid from bed and hesitantly approached the left side of her bedroom bay window. She knew this would give her a clear view of the store entry below. What she saw standing on the short sidewalk approach to their store/ home made absolutely no sense when you factored in the wave after wave of angry, foul chakra pouring from what had to be its only source; Naruto Uzumaki was standing on the sidewalk snarling at the carefully approaching figure of her father, his hands held up in placation trying to talk down the angry youth.

Her eyes flickered to the newly landed squads of ANBU standing on the small floral beds in front, on the street behind the boy, and on nearby rooftops, her eyes pausing briefly on a young girl dressed in black and not wearing a mask. Flickering back to the group in front of her house, her own shock registered as she caught the glowing embers, _RED_ embers, that now constituted the Uzumaki's eyes, chakra so potent and malignant that it rose from his face like flames.

' _What the hell is he doing here?! Doesn't he understand that people need sleep?!"_ Trying to shake off the increasingly heavy atmosphere, she clenched her jaw muscles and struggled to bring her hands together, the blond's aggressive stance centered in the frame of her fingers.

" _One false move blondie and I'll roast your brain…"_

She completely missed the shadowy figure retreating from the standoff to vanish into the inky blackness of the night sky.

~III~

"I know you're angry, Naruto. Just give me a chance to explain…let's go in and talk-."

"NO!" It was a hiss, an instinctive response that made the older man flinch. "There **will be** no more ta **lking!** No… more chances for you **to screw me over!"** Inoichi noticed the modulation of his vocal chords. Kami, he prayed the demon wasn't taking over right now. His family…Konoha…

" **I** _ **trusted you!"**_

~III~

Ino jerked at that last bit. He was clearly angry at her father and was accusing him of something underhanded. This didn't make any sense. The boy was here earlier and had left seeming calm and happy with their session.

' _Daddy couldn't have done anything sneaky, could he?'_ Her eyes narrowed dangerously. _'I knew it. He's completely off his meds. Boy has lost it!'_ She got comfortable in the semi-circular window, propping her feet up and bracing her arms as she sighted down at the threat to her father. It took a lot to hold this pose steady.

~III~

"I am only trying to help you… I swear, Naruto." Inoichi knew he had to be calm. No sudden movements… nothing to indicate he was a threat. Never taking his eyes off the jinchuuriki, he slowly, painstakingly lowered his body to the hard porch step. There on his knees he held out his hands palm up to show that he was unarmed.

Naruto, his face alternating between constricting in anger or confusion, rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, sometimes pacing from side to side all the while staring hatefully at the man that had told him earlier today that he could be trusted. The growling sounds coming from his throat were decidedly not human.

"You want me to be alone again! I can see **it now!"** Inoichi's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Why would I want that, Naruto?" He honestly didn't get it until… then it clicked. He saw the "special clones" they talked about earlier as…companions. Friends maybe?

"You think I don't see?! **Look at them!"** His voice came out in a growl, an animalistic snarl as his right arm swung out in an arc indicating the masked faces boxing the both of them in. **"You think I don't** see? You think **I don't understand** that they all hate me?" The boy's face was a masterpiece of agony and hurt.

"For years they've kept me down… **driven everyone away."** Inoichi twitched slightly. His voice was getting softer, but the malice was growing. "Now that I have something… someone **in my life, you want** to take them away!"His chest was heaving. "Give. HIM. **BACK!"** His hands were pressed to his temples as he raged. Those angry red eyes pulsed once.

Inoichi noticed more than one set of ANBU gloves tightening on weapons.

"All of them…civilians, shinobi, adults, children… **they all hate me. The all despise me. They all want me alone. They don't want anyone to care…to help me… but I see it."** His feet stopped pacing and turned the boy to face Inoichi squarely.

Upstairs, Ino stiffened as she watched the nails on his hands lengthen and turn an unhealthy shade of black through the frame of her fingers.

" **Just like I can see you too."** For a second, they locked eyes then the boy's knees flexed just a hair. Before anyone could move, a blur landed between the two and Inoichi looked up into the robes of the Sandaime Hokage.

"Wait! Hokage-sa-!" It was too late.

There was the sound of paper being slapped to flesh as the old man lifted his left hand and yelled out, "Seal!" Naruto crumpled to the ground like a rag doll. Once his eyes closed, the Hokage made another sign with the fingers of his right hand and two ANBU leapt down to carry away the comatose boy while the others spread out to send the gathering crowd of gawkers back to their homes.

The most powerful man in the village turned and spoke to his most senior interrogator. "You have tomorrow to convince me that I shouldn't seal him away for good."

Then he vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Ino, once she relaxed in a sweaty heap in her perch, stared into the quiet of her bedroom for the next few hours trying to sort through what she saw. Suffice to say, she got no sleep that night and determined right there to rise early with more questions that her father would most likely refuse to answer. She'd just have to ask them anyway until she found someone that would answer them.

~III~

It didn't take long before someone came running back into _The Konohan_ claiming that the Hokage had captured the beast and taken it away using the ANBU. Everyone praised the ANBU, their silent protectors, and a palpable wave of relief shot through the common room.

Thumping his now empty tankard on the bar, Koaru turned to his two companions and tapped them on the shoulders. "C'mon. It's time." Three simple words.

Grinning like hyena, the two boys rose with him and strode out into the night with purpose. A few blocks from the pub, Koaru broke off from the pair and stepped into an alley on the far side of the street. Once hidden, he nodded back to his companions and one pushed aside the tarps blocking the entrance to a familiar ramen stand pulling back his hood to reveal a relatively new Leaf Hitai-ite.

"...and then that awful feeling just went away. I tell you, Teuchi, the old man swooped in and smacked him down like the rath of Kami!" The jabbering fool clearly did not take note of the worried concern on Teuchi's face nor the fact that it was quickly transitioning to annoyance. It took a lot to get on the ramen chef's bad side but badmouthing one blond Uzumaki was often the shortest route to success.

Teuchi started to roll up his sleeve before Akimi stepped in and redirected the gentleman to a side table away from the short bar. Ayame deftly stepped over to intercept her father.

"Let Kimi-chan deal with him, dad. We have two more new customers. Can't ignore them, can we?" He grumbled quietly, angry eyes cut sharply to the grinning old perv trying to sweet talk the young waitress attempting diligently to take his order.

"Hey guys!" Ayame cheerfully piped up so as to distract her dad and keep him focused elsewhere. "What can we do for you?" The first one through the door bowed but the leer in his eyes made her feel self-conscious, her order pad coming up to just beneath her chin. She had a strong desire to take a bath in order to scrub off something vile and slimy.

"We're here to escort Akimi-san home when her shift is over. Koaru-san was worried for her safety after that thing tore through the village a little while ago. We promised we'd make sure she got home without issue."

"See! I'm not the only one!" Now there were three faces glaring at the old man loudly slurping up noodles and Teuchi was wondering when it would be acceptable to toss the old bastard out of his shop.

 _'After he's paid... yup, definitely after!'_

For her part, Akimi was torn. She didn't appreciate their attitude towards her wayward orphanage buddy but she did love Koaru-kun. They were to be wed after all, as soon as he could afford to get his own carpentry business and marry her. She'd seen these two around him often, especially when he came by to walk her back to the orphanage at the end of her shift. Not to go with them would have been seen as an insult and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Still, it troubled her that he couldn't come himself. The Aono shop had been closed for several hours now. Surely he couldn't be detained there this late?

As she was about to accept their offer and perhaps get them a bowl of ramen to tide them over, another voice spoke up, all six pairs of eyes turning over to take in the older gentleman just now setting his freshly-emptied bowl of miso ramen on the counter.

"Aah! That was excellent." He burped before embarrassingly excusing himself. "Don't worry about Miss Akimi. I'll make sure she gets home safe and sound. As a family friend to the Ichirakus, I would be honored to safeguard their precious employee." Something in the stern way he met the stares of the two Genin still standing in the doorway shut down the protests they were about to utter. It might have also had something to do with the large amounts of killing intent directed their way since he had a clear path to them without affecting anyone else.

Without another word, the two youths bowed to the scarred academy instructor and backed out of the eatery and rejoined Koaru in the shadows. He waved it off as they headed off to pick up the third member of their little group seemingly not all that concerned. They would just have to adjust the plan a little...

~III~

Naruto sat up soaked in water, the familiar sewer of his mind oozing its usually depressive atmosphere with every drip of water. Rising from the wet floor, he began the trek through the shadowy innards of his brain until he squared up and plopped down once again into the purplish-tinted liquid. With a heavy sigh, he glanced up into the surprisingly attentive eyes of the great fox, as it studied him like some wayward pet or science project.

This time he didn't speak first. With a huff of disappointment, Naruto's blue eyes took in the liquid soaking into his clothes as he picked absent mindedly at the material. If he was stuck here, he'd at least get accustomed to the idea and see if there were ways to clean the place up a bit. Maybe he could find a drain somewhere…

" **Giving up already, meatsack?"** Naruto's eyes came up first, then his head. The shock on his face was priceless and the Kyuubi chuckled, a deep rumbling _**"hurhurhurhur"**_ that made the human's chest vibrate.

"Huh, you aren't mute after all." The left eyebrow on the multi-story tall fox began to twitch spasmodically.

" **Mind your tongue, chew toy. You are in the presence of-."**

"-the same jackass that ruined my life! Your point being?" The great and powerful demon roared and slammed into the heavy bars separating the two before grudgingly settling down into the thin layer of water on the ground.

His great red eyes stared balefully at the human just beyond his reach.

The annoyed mouse of a human stared back with a victorious smirk.

The bijou's eyes began to twitch again.

"Admit it, that hurt like a bitch, didn't it?" The Kyuubi's face stayed hateful for just a minute longer before his muzzle wrinkled up and a very human-like paw shot up to his right shoulder. Rubbing frantically to ease the burn, the great beast inhaled a double lungful of hissing air through clenched teeth muttering about being out of shape. Once the sting was gone, Kyuubi locked gazes with the annoying human once again.

" **So, why are you bothering me this time, boy? Isn't it enough that I deign to look upon you? Embrace my magnificence and make me a rabbit sandwich!"** Despite looking unimpressed by the haughty entity, a talking Kyuubi was still a novel idea to Naruto since this was still a recent discovery. He didn't know why the massive demon lord chose to stop pouting suddenly, but it had made the last two days very interesting.

"Hokage zapped me with some seal whammie and next thing I knew, I was here. Figured since you talked me into this crazy idea, I'd let you know before they locked us up for good." The fox became indignant.

" **Me?! Wha- I did no such thing!"** Pointing his snoot up into the air and closing his eyes in a snooty pose did nothing to otherwise convince the Genin outside his cage. Cracking open one eye, he could see Naruto clearly wasn't buying it. With a sigh, the demon turned back eyeball-to-body with the boy waiting to hear out his pathetic petition for aid.

"This isn't like last time. Hokage-jiji was angrier than any other time I'd seen him, even when I plastered geisha faces all over the monument. I'm not so sure there is an easy way out for this one." The great demon merely snorted in amusement.

" **If you weren't so weak, this would not be a problem."** Naruto's annoyance began to bubble to the surface.

"It's not like anyone else besides these odd clones has been helpful in getting my head on straight." He sneered dismissively up at the looming reddish-orange beast. "Not like you've been abundantly helpful." A disgusted snort of air was the immediate response.

" **You don't rate my full cooperation,** _ **genius**_ **."** Naruto understood the meaning behind that snide comment and tugged down one eyelid while sticking out his tongue. **"Oh… that's mature. You think you're entitled to my power, don't you? That it's going to rain youki and suddenly you'll be able to rule the world?"**

The indignant tone from the fox was clear. It was no great secret that he considered all humans weak and greedy leeches only seeking one thing from his kind. As far as the great bijuu considered humans, they were little more than walking take out snacks and the first one on his dining list happened to be sitting directly across from him…her…it.

 **"Do you even have a good reason to resist the older blond's attempt to make your brain whole?"** When all Kyuubi got was a confused face back vaguely matching what he remembered human constipation resembled, he snarled in frustration.

" **Begone, pest. You irritate me to no end."** Kyuubi laid its massive head down fully expecting the boy to depart.

"Now hold on one fuzzy dust-rag moment! You owe me for all-!"

" **BEGONE!"** There was a blast of air knocking him off his feet and the sewer faded to black for Naruto. However, back in the mindscape, a certain blue-robed red head stepped out of the shadows and ambled up to the cage bars.

"I hope your plan works," Minato stated with a great deal of uncertainty.

 **"He can't become strong enough to survive the enemies you made for him as he is. If he's too stubborn a jackass,"** the bijuu pointedly stared down at the annoyed looking human, **"to seek help, then it must be forced on him. Don't like my methods, find another all-powerful being to assist you."**

With that, the cranky fifty-foot fox spirit settled down for nappy time and closed his massive eyes.

~III~

Akimi was enjoying the quiet walk across town. Her guest escort for the night was respectful, attentive, and easy to converse with. More often than not, he allowed her to chatter away happily even when she was venting about some of the more handsy customers that annoyed her. She was too young for that sort of thing, despite being unofficially engaged, but the number of old perverts coming to the store had increased by a scary amount. The fact that Umino-san was willing to escort her, him being a powerful shinobi (despite his modest protests) greatly eased her mind.

The fact that he was a great listener was just a bonus and she needed one as her conversation turned to the scarier moment of the night. She didn't want to believe that Naruto was the source of the awful feeling from earlier, that terrible pressure that made her shiver and sweat. She knew that Umino-san hadn't seen for himself, because he was at Ichiraku's hoping to meet up with Naruto, but he did promise to find out what he could as soon as possible. Hopefully she'd know something by tomorrow night.

With a happy smile and a quick nod, she fell into step next to the kind gentleman and felt a small burden lift from her heart. She hoped, with his help, she'd be able to catch up with her old friend and mend whatever broken bridges were between them. She was so happy she almost didn't notice Iruka stop and place himself between her and an alley just off to their right.

"Stop skulking like rats so we can get this over with. You two have been tailing us since we left Ichiraku's and it's quite insulting really." Iruka drew out a kunai and casually flipped it up into a reverse grip as the two brand new Genin from earlier stepped into view.

"Just hand the bitch over and you get to walk away with all limbs attached, Iruka-sensei." The two boys sneered with a bit too much confidence to suit the occasion. Surely, Iruka mused, they didn't think themselves a match for a Chunin, a high-level Chunin at that?

Above the alley, a shadowy figure glanced down at the burgeoning conflict and used two fingers to push dark sunglasses up against the bridge of his nose. _'I will have to address Riki's crass language later...'_

"How often have I told you to be more respectful of women, Riki-kun?" The boy smirked arrogantly. "I see I'm going to have to teach you one final lesson."

Genin Riki charged as his hands flew through a short series of seals ending with his right hand bursting into flames, ending his sluggish attack with a muttered, [Katon: Houka Hira no Jutsu!]

Iruka swayed left, dodged right then planted his fist into the stomach of the frantically-swinging student, which sent him ass-over-elbows back into the alley. Watching the flame on the boy's hand set fire to his own clothes, an action that set him in a panic as he tried to put out the flames, Iruka caught the not-so-subtle glint of metal from the other boy's blade as he pivoted and blocked the tanto with his kunai.

The commotion blocked the sound of the shadowy figure descending into the alley and edging his way closer to the scuffle.

Iruka wasn't familiar with this other Genin but that wasn't necessarily unusual. There were dozens of students he never interacted with. Shoving off the common brown eyes glaring back at him and the muttered curses of "demon loving traitor," Iruka shoved the boy back into a pile of boxes before dodging the flaming fist of the returning Riki.

Planting his left foot and pivoting clockwise, Iruka's heel snapped out to connect with Riki's jaw. Allowing his momentum to bring him around, Iruka ducked low to avoid the other Genin's looping decapitation swing shooting his own arm out and slicing the underside of the boy's tricep causing him to hop back with a hissing whine.

"Really, is this the best-" Kimi's scream caught him unawares and he turned in time to see a third Genin fade from the shadows and wrap one arm around her waist, pinning her left arm to her side, as the other shot up to try and stifle any more noise. Frozen in place, he watched as the other two set themselves between him and the now captive Akimi as if to form a blockade.

Appearing nonplussed, Iruka actually took the time to pop his neck and stretch his arms over his head as if preparing for a more strenuous workout. Glancing at each other, the two initial attackers looked back at the senior Chunin bristling at the blatant disrespect.

The shadowy figured mentally _tsked,_ then cleared his jutsu once he was close enough with molded chakra while lunging out with his right hand.

The annoyance coming from Iruka's three opponents lasted until their adversary's eyes suddenly doubled in size and he shifted his body weight to one side seconds before a short blade pierced through his back and out the right side of his chest. Blood dribbled up from his mouth in frothy bubbles as the blade withdrew and Iruka Umino collapsed to the ground, his mind fading to blackness.

The three males kidnapping the ramen girl began to smile until the latest arrival cut them off ruthlessly. "Fools! Didn't you detect him flexing his chakra? He's summoned ANBU to this very location. You're lucky I was watching. Run! Run before they get here!" _'Hnh, I wonder if Iruka will survive the a_ _sphyxiant_ _coating that blade?'_

"What about you, sensei?" The figure pushed up the dark glasses on his face and glanced down to the unconscious and heavily bleeding Iruka.

"Don't worry about me. I'll take care of things. Now go!" As the three boys raced off trying to keep the girl from screaming, the scarf-covered shinobi tossed the borrowed tanto to the ground and made sure his gloves were on the ground about where Riki had set fire to himself. Mumbling a quick repeat of the _Flaming Palm Jutsu_ , he set fire to the gloves and made sure the cloth material was solidly alight before taking out a kunai and jamming it into the meatiest part of his own leg. Falling to the ground, he left the blade in place and waited for ANBU to arrive.

~III~

Hinata collapsed on the polished floors of her clan's training dojo. Little more than an ornate sparring floor surrounded on all sides by wooden benches and large planters for small bushes and non-flowering greenery, a person would think it a place for meditation, relaxation, or peaceful recollection. A simple glance at the heavily bruised and bleeding female gasping for oxygen near the center of the wooden practice floor would readily debunk such ideas.

Towering above her, a male youth brandishing his own Konoha headband narrowed similar orbs of near translucent silver, the bulging veins around his eyes receding peacefully. His disapproval of her efforts this morning were clear in every facet of his posture. Rigid back, chin slightly raised, eyes narrowing further to slits, and his mouth pressed into a thin line all shouted thoughts he would not, could not express before the observing clan head overseeing this special training session with his "failure" of a daughter.

Neji Hyuuga was clearly not impressed.

His eyes shifted from the clearly wanting heiress to the impressive stature of Hiashi Hyuuga, the Hyuuga Clan head, and waited patiently while trying to hide his disgust at both of them. Without taking his eyes from the exhausted girl, the stoic leader nodded once, just the barest bob of his head, and Neji bowed at the waist (just enough to not be disrespectful) before spinning on his heels and striding away.

The battered and bruised heiress gathered herself as best she was able, struggling to her feet with a wince here...a cringe of pain there...before taking a steadying breath. Forcing all emotion from her eyes, she squared her shoulders, turned to face her father, bowed fully at the waist, then limped from the floor in the direction of her personal chambers. She would need to soak in the tub for a bit longer today. Neji had been extra "annoyed" this morning and she'd have the bruises to show for it later.

Once she was gone and the silence reigned, Hiashi Hyuuga released a quiet breath as he fought down the pain and distress at seeing his gentle daughter humbled for the sake of the elder's vaunted pride. Keeping his rigid posture and iron will, the man rose gracefully to his feet, one hand slipping habitually behind his back while the other rose up to flip his left hand free of his flowing kimono sleeve, before gliding silently to his office. He spent long hours of the day there tending to the important matters of his clan. With its seals to prevent snooping, it was also the best place to wallow in the many bouts of failure and depression associated with the untenable tension of his rather large family without judging eyes to condemn him.

 _'Hitomi...I wish I could confide in you now. Please look over her when I no longer can.'_

 **~ An Unspecified Amount of Time Later, Location Unknown but Outside the Mindscape ~**

When Naruto's eyes opened again it was to the accompanying thunder of a pulsating headache. He groaned, winced, then tried to pry his eyes open but the lights shining down on him were too bright and it only made the pounding in his skull worse. Blinking timidly, he began to slowly force them open so that he could take proper stock of his surroundings.

' _Okay, at least I'm sitting upright…sorta.'_ His hands, ankles, and chest were strapped to a metal chair. The steep angle of his neck indicated that his head had been left free which meant that it lolled uncomfortably to the side leading to a string of drool falling down his chest to his lap. _'Wonderful. Just…wonderful.'_ Slurping up as much of the pooling slobber as he could, he managed to break off the tenacious liquid leech on his shoulder sleeve and slowly lifted his eyes to glance around the room ignoring the popping sound as his vertebrae realigned.

Cold metal walls greeted him matching the very sturdy table directly in front of his fashionably matching chair… if late-era prison décor was in fashion this year. To his left was a large mirror and, beyond the chair directly across the table from him, there was nothing else décor-related in the room. Unless you counted the two ANBU standing in the dim light just beyond the table and watching his every move.

Focusing on their masks, he noted a nearly matching set of purple hair, one slightly taller than the other, framing a _Hebi_ and a _Neko_ ANBU.

' _Oh hell… they're bound to be pissed at me. Why'd it have to be them watching me?'_ He winced at the waves of displeasure rolling off of both assassination squad members. As if the Hokage bitch-slapping him into nighty-night world wasn't bad enough…

The door opened, and a heavy-set man wearing Konoha green shinobi attire and a red haori walked in stopping right before the metal table. Without taking his eyes off the tied down boy, his head pivoted marginally to the right addressing his attention to the two ANBU.

"Out. I need the room." Naruto tensed and _Hebi_ stepped forward in Naruto's direction almost protectively. "I said OUT!" the large man thundered, his spiky mess of white hair swinging like a rope with his emotion. The two female ANBU quietly padded from the room, _Neko_ pausing just long enough to glance back before closing the door on her way out.

 **~ 5 Minutes Before in the Adjoining Observation Room-Mini Flashback no Jutsu ~**

Jiraiya of the Sannin stepped into the hidden room smack dab in the middle of an argument between the Sandaime Hokage and Inoichi Yamanaka. As shocking as that was, Inoichi appeared to be chastising the older man for the reckless damage he may have caused the Uzumaki child, a comment that narrowed his eyes noticeably in the direction of the older man while causing the Hokage to sigh heavily upon the latter's entrance.

Turning to address the newcomer, Jiraiya's next question got obliterated by a flurry of comments from the village leader.

"Not now, Jiraiya. I need you to confirm the status of the seal. No discussion, no introductions, nothing that could further jeopardize the boy's tenuous control over the Kyuubi. Do I make myself clear?" It wasn't really a question the way he said it and Jiraiya's eyes flicked between the two verbal combatants before settling once again on his white-bearded instructor.

"This is getting old, sensei. You owe me damn near fifteen years." The Hokage's gaze hardened the moment Inoichi's eyebrows wrinkled up.

"Get on with it, Jiraiya." Without a word, the Sannin turned around and stormed out of the observation chamber.

 **~ Current Time in the Holding Room-Mini Flashback no Jutsu _Kai!_ ~**

The white-maned man took the three paces necessary to stand in front of the boy's chair so that he could spin him ninety degrees and away from the table. Squatting down to get a better look, he lifted the tee shirt and placed two fingers on the boy's stomach.

"Channel some chakra for me, kid." Nothing happened right away so he looked up frowning at the hateful glare being sent his way. "C'mon, gaki. I ain't got all day."

"You do if you expect me to mold chakra. Old man sealed me up good and tight."

Jiraiya's own hateful glare shot over the boy's shoulder to the mirrored glass on the other side of the room. With a disgusted _tsk,_ he added a thumb to the boy's skin and pushed some of his own chakra in around Naruto's navel. With practiced ease, the black ink of an enormous seal faded into view.

Naruto was familiar with this old geezer as this wasn't the first time he'd come to inspect the seal. The only difference was he knew what was going on this time despite everyone pretending to be stupid about the whole ordeal.

If they wanted to keep pretending that this guy was responsible for inspecting his chakra network to make sure he stayed healthy, then who was Naruto to burst their delusional bubble. He was checking the seal. That meant someone was worried about the Kyuubi getting loose.

Either way not his problem.

Two minutes later, the white-haired hermit twisted his chair back to the table then walked out without a backward glance. What he didn't know was that the Sannin kept walking right out of the building.

' _Let them stew for a bit. Turn about's fair play.'_ Jiraiya groused as he kept walking all the way to the nearest bar.

 **~ Back in the Holding Room ~**

When the door opened again, it was to re-admit both female ANBU and the Yamanaka clan head. Naruto scowled in disgust and turned his face to the mirror.

"Hello again, Naruto. Mind if I join you?"

Silence.

"Ahem…I understand that you might not want to talk with me so how about I just talk while you listen?"

Silence.

With a heavy sigh, Inoichi pulled out the other chair and slid into it, one hand setting two healthy sunflowers onto the table's surface. Naruto's eyes saw the objects on the metal surface in the mirror before glaring at his own reflection and whoever was on the far side watching the sideshow.

"Naruto, I understand why you think you're alone but I'm here to tell you that you're not."

No visible reaction.

"There's Iruka Umino, your instructor. He cares for you very much from what I hear and have seen." Inoichi tried to catch any emotion, the tiniest flicker in the boy's face. Nothing.

"What about your surrogate sister, Anko Mitarashi? Are you saying she doesn't matter?" Naruto's eyes closed and one of the ANBU behind him shifted ever so slightly.

"They can't be there to watch over me all the time. It's not fair that they have to be tethered to me because you all are too chicken-shit to leave me be." Inoichi's eyes perked up just a hair. It was a start.

"I get it, it's not the same thing as coming home to a loving mother or sister but it's something, isn't it?" When the boy's face snapped to snarl at him, Inoichi reflexively leaned back in his chair expecting to see those same red eyes again.

"Clearly…Inoichi-san, you don't know what it's like to live at least twenty three out of every twenty-four hours a day on your own, even when you're in a room surrounded by dozens of people. Do you?" The cold comment stung the older Yamanaka. He clearly could not relate even though he'd rooted around in the child's head and felt the cold loneliness of abandonment. This boy had been abandoned by an entire village.

"These clones are NOT real people, Naruto! What about Ichiraku, Ayame and-."

"DON'T…finish that one." Inoichi sighed heavily. Clearly that little piece of information needed to be updated. Something had gone terribly wrong there.

"Oooookay. Moving on then." He wracked his high-powered brain looking for another significant connection.

"The Hokage then?" Naruto's face crumpled.

"You mean the guy that put me here? The guy that left me to those angry mobs every year on my birthday? The guy that left me in the orphanage that tried to poison me at least four times a year each year that I lived there then told me I needed to be more careful what I ate because those old biddies couldn't watch me every hour of the day? _That_ Hokage?"

Behind the glass, Hiruzen flinched at the rage in Naruto's voice. How had he missed the anger behind those eyes? How had he not connected the dots over the years? _'Have I really been that disconnected?'_

Back in the room, Inoichi-figured he dug a deep enough hole and tried to change tactics. The current one had been a dismal failure since he never realized how truly alone the child had been over his relatively short existence.

"Alright, Naruto. Clearly you've won the shittiest draw award." Inoichi drew in a deep breath. "I clearly had no idea how bad it was."

Naruto could see the pain in the Yamanaka's eyes, but he tried not to let it soften him. So long as he sat in that chair, he could not afford to show weakness, or they'd break him.

"Then why are you here?" Naruto's question drew the older man's eyes up from the table and the two flowers.

"To help you," he returned in a near-broken voice. Naruto scoffed unwilling to release his anger.

"You mean like you helped me earlier? No thanks!" Inoichi leaned forward with his hands on the table.

"You think I hurt you?" The boy nodded. "On purpose?" Again, with a nod.

"Naruto, when I'm not here," he motioned to the room they were in, "…what is my day job?"

The boy guffawed. "You're the plant man. You sell flowers. Nice gig for the number one mind jacker in Konoha." Inoichi tried not to smirk.

"Yes, flowers are my life oddly enough." He pointed to the first sunflower. "I've sold you seeds before for your personal garden. You're aware how flowers function right? How they grow, live, thrive?" The boy nodded as if it were an obvious question.

"You're talking about photosynthesis and crap like that, right?" Inoichi smiled just a bit.

"Yes, exactly like that." Without hesitation, Inoichi lifted one of the sunflowers and began pulling off its petals causing the outraged Naruto to squawk.

"Hey! Don't do that!" Inoichi paused about two thirds of the way through removing the leaves.

"Oh, and why not?" He absent-mindedly plucked one of the green stem leaves. "It's still a flower, right? I mean, if I did this to one of the plants in my family garden, it'd still grow…wouldn't it?"

"Maybe… maybe not! Flowers need their leaves to absorb sunlight and other things needed to grow. They draw in water to feed the plant through more than just their leaves. The plant may survive, or it might wither and die. You don't know until you see how it reacts to you plucking it like a chicken about to get cooked!" Inoichi tried not to let his smile grow too much bigger.

"Soo… what if I do this…" He picked up one of the spear-shaped leaves and pressed it to the flower bulb. Using chakra in his fingertips, he reattached the green leaf to the stem and took his fingers away showing that it was indeed semi-attached.

Naruto scoffed. Loudly. "C'mon! That's not foolin' anyone. Once your chakra fades that is gonna fall off and the flower won't be any better than before. It's not actually part of the flower anymore!" Inoichi leaned in again and smiled.

"So… if this whole flower," he pointed to the un-mauled one, "is me and this one," he held up the nearly destroyed one, "…represent your mind, both our minds as they are right now, which one do you think is better off?"

The light came on in Naruto's mind as he looked back and forth between the two plants.

"I'm not a plant. You can't just glue a leaf on me and call it good."

"True," the older man acknowledged, "…but our clan techniques can reintegrate your fractured psyche so that you stop wandering around like this," he swept his arm across the table pushing the destroyed flower to the floor and held up the whole one, "…and start resembling this again."

"C'mon, you erased Kemuri! _He's gone and I can't get him back!"_ Inoichi's head cocked over to one side.

"Did I?" Naruto's incredulous stare gawked back at him. "What makes you think he's not in there?"

"I tried to create a clone with him when I got home. Nothing happened, and the others couldn't find him!" The ANBU behind the Yamanaka Clan Head were twitching uncomfortably but Inoichi ignored them.

"You told me during our first session that you had…black out periods, remember?" Everyone in both rooms listening to this snapped to rigid attention. Naruto merely nodded back without saying a word. "When I walked your mind, I found empty gaps of time ranging from a few minutes to a few hours, mostly centered around pranks you allegedly committed."

Naruto snickered.

"I remember you being blamed for sabotage at one of the morning food carts, but the owner could never prove anything and no one could find evidence of wrongdoing when T&I inspected your memories for the alleged crime."

Naruto grinned back. "It's easy to be found innocent when you have no recollection of doing anything."

"That's true. T&I is still trying to figure out how the culprit got the entire cart to spoil overnight." Naruto started laughing out loud.

"That's easy! All you need is an already rotten apple or two. Bury them under all the others and just like that the apples go bad super quick. Bury six or seven under the pile and you can destroy a whole batch." His eyes got big as his laughter died off to a sickening cough. "…or so I'm told." It was too late though and Inoichi's smile was now two-fold.

"So, that explains why nothing out of sorts was ever found. They were just more bad apples among an already rotting bunch." Naruto tried to look away but inside he was stunned. He remembered. He actually remembered, and it wasn't the only case. Lots of other incidents were coming back to him now. Also, his mind was running through all of Kemuri's…no, _his_ recent notes on the physical training plan.

It was all there in his head.

Naruto's face tracked the older man as he stood away from the table. "You know Naruto, you can't join ANBU with a class one mental handicap like this," he opened his palm and sprinkled the plucked sunflower petals onto the table top, "...not since Itachi Uchiha left, you understand that, right?" The boy's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. He never thought he'd lose a chance at his second dream as well. It made sense though...

"So, you basically have two choices. You can keep fighting my help and end up like the sunflower on the floor, or…" he pushed the healthy flower forward and directly in front of the fresh Genin, "…or, you can let me help you put the pieces back together again." The clan head walked to the door but paused before stepping out.

"If you want my help, your appointment for next Wednesday is still on my calendar. Why don't you bring one of them with you? You can choose the next one you want me to reintegrate into your psyche and we can go from there." Naruto stared at the closed door for several minutes after Inoichi left before settling his gaze onto the bright flower.

' _Can't join ANBU…Most likely won't get a team…Back at square one…'_ Those thoughts rattled around in his head until they eventually let him go an hour later into the Thursday morning Konoha sun under the condition that he now had to have ANBU minders until he agreed to resume the medical appointments.

He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Life sucked sometimes.

 **~ Time Skip to Wednesday, Week 2: Yamanaka Flower Shop ~**

Inoichi Yamanaka had been a ball of nervous energy all morning. From being forced out of his flower shop by an annoyed wife-daughter combo to wearing a path through the floor rugs covering the wooden floors of their flower shop living spaces, he'd been chewing nervously at already frayed fingernails and muttering to himself about the positives of the past six days.

' _He didn't storm over again, that's good…isn't it?"_ It only made logical sense. If they boy was still angry, he would have raised another stink like he did last week, wouldn't he? It was a positive but a couple of worrisome things were also bouncing around in his head after sitting down with the Hokage to discuss the shadow clone construct in depth and he wanted a chance to flush out a few theories before coming to a conclusion.

Just about every senior shinobi understood the construct. Heck, even Inoichi knew how to generate one and he'd spent the better part of the week utilizing one or two clones around the flower shop and the office to flush out his understanding.

They were chakra constructs shaped and compressed to resemble their creators. Despite having free will, they were obediently tied to the owner via a chakra tether very similar to the strings used by Suna's puppeteers. The one difference being that the tether did more than just feed the clone life-giving chakra from their source.

Each tether provided the obligatory two-way mental leash back to the jutsu user. This leash was most likely the direct path for imprinting these alternate personalities into Naruto's clones. The problem nagging the back of Inoichi's mind was which personality had control the night Naruto nearly tore down his door? And how would they deal with that one when time came to reintegrate it with the host?

He flopped into his recliner and immediately felt antsy. Fingers nervously tapping on the padded arms only to hop up the moment he heard the shop's front entrance chime a greeting only to sag in defeat as Ino greeted another customer. He was about to try and get comfortable again when the chime rang out once more and his wife called out this time.

"Ah, welcome back Naruto-kun and who is your friend?" Inoichi's eyes slowly tried to swallow his face as he took a hesitant step towards the swinging door closing off the shop front. He couldn't hear the response and he desperately wanted to burst through the door, but he restrained himself. He promised his wife that he'd wait.

"Just a moment, Naruto-kun. Let me see if my husband is available." He smiled at the sound of her voice. It was so calming, and the stressed child would no doubt need that before they got started.

"You break it, you buy it Naru-turd!" Inoichi winced at the harsh sound of his daughter's voice.

 _'So much for calm,'_ he thought wryly.

Sumiko Yamanaka stepped through the door wrapping up her admonishment of their daughter before turning to face her husband. "He's here."

With a heavy sigh, Inoichi stepped through the door behind her and put on his most disarming smile as his eyes landed on Naruto and what appeared to be an older brother dressed in ochre-colored robes, his long blond hair tied up into a topknot with two long bangs framing his face. He appeared to be a few years older and considerably more composed than the younger troublemaker.

"Greetings, Yamanaka-san. I am Chishiki and I have looked forward to meeting you face to face for some time now.'

Motioning them into the back past his currently gobsmacked daughter, Inoichi took a deep breath and prepared to work another miracle.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Step Into the Sun**_

* * *

Naruto exited the Yamanaka flower shop and paused on the stoop as his eyes adjusted the to the incredibly bright afternoon sun. Despite the momentary flash of discomfort to his sensitive orbs, the smile on his face at Ino's apparent confusion warmed the cockles of his miserable heart. He could still visualize in his mind's eye the thorough confusion on her face as he walked through the shop without the admittedly handsome face of _Chishiki Uzumaki_.

Selfishly he hoped she spent the next hour scouring their home looking for him. A dose of humility would do her some good in his opinion.

Focusing forward instead of to the past, Naruto's deep blue eyes scanned the busy street taking note of more than a few soured glances in his direction. Surging up from his own recent dose of humility, he accepted that a lot of those disparaging faces were well earned after his recent display of public insanity.

No matter what anyone told him, he'd let his anger rage and now had to bare the burden for those actions. No matter the reason behind it, all that mattered was the face he provided to the public and his, no matter how bitter the pill associated with the reality, was now the stuff of nightmares. Control had to be the outward word of the day and it started right now.

Tugging forward on the familiar black and orange jacket he sported around town, Naruto thrust his hands into the pockets of a black cargo short set. An ocher-colored tee shirt (in honor of Chishiki's passing) hung out and low across his body. With a deep breath to clear his lungs, a much more relaxed looking Naruto Uzumaki stepped off into the Market District heading nowhere in particular, his black open-toed sandals scuffing softly against the smooth cobblestones of the street. He let the hateful stares roll of his shoulders long since used to them. Besides, so long as he wore the hitai-ite snapped snugly to fresh inserts in his right sleeve, there wasn't anything they could do to him. The shiny plate announced clearly what he was - he was untouchable by these fox-hating scum.

Without giving his destination a second thought, he found himself stopped in front of Higurashi's. Standing stone-still in the street as he gazed adoringly up at the green anvil and hammer, the warm familiarity billowing in his heart pulled up an even larger smile as he casually entered the shop front to the pleasant chime of the tiny silver bell above his head. Instantly Tenten's head whipped around and her eyes began sparkling in welcome.

"Hey, Naru-kun! Miss your big sister so soon?" He felt too good to get annoyed by her light teasing. Strolling past a few customers to the weapons displays, he waved in greeting and resisted the urge to pinch her dimply cheeks. He learned the hard way earlier in the week that such actions were a quick invitation to a beat down by the tomboyish apprentice.

"Ha...ha... I just came to pick up my order and maybe do some window shopping." Naruto had purchased another round of A-rank supplies to finish filling his arm seal and the holster seals in his thigh-mounted carriers, all except for the "special additions" he was picking up today. The cheeky smile on the slightly shorter female erupted all across her face as her hands smacked loudly together in delight before turning to jog back into the store.

Her exuberance was catchy but he tried not to stare too much at Tenten for fear that she'd catch him ogling her. The young lady took good care of herself, unlike most of the girls in his final class, and it showed in her toned body. More than once Naruto had to catch himself from focusing on her curvy figure rather than on the other items of interest in the store.

A sturdy shake of his head and his eyes wandered down to the collection of armor-plated items in the illuminated case his palms were resting on. Bucklers of various metal composites, a spiked ball and chain mace, oh... _that looked interesting_.

Leaning forward with his face nearly pressed against the glass, a black gauntlet caught his eye. Thinking it was dyed to get such a rich hue, his keen eyes noted the back half of the gauntlet, that part stretching from the elbow to the back of the fist, was too well polished to be painted. The dye appeared to be part of the metal itself and, as he looked closer, there appeared to be phantom flames etched into the segmented plates laying horizontally across what would be his arm. It looked like the overlapping plating of an of armored neck-piece called a _tare,_ except the metal plates were more closely overlapped and interlocked to form a nearly seamless yet flexible section. That section flowed into the hand sleeve, the back of which completely protected the back of the fist, the knuckles, and up to the first knuckle of the fingers. Underneath and holding all of this together was a synthetic weave mesh of extremely fine material forming the complete gauntlet.

It was a thing of beauty and it stole his breath away, so much so that he never noticed Tenten's return as she stood aside with a box in her arm while observing his open admiration.

"See something you like, Naru-kun?" She liked teasing him and seeing the radiant blush that streaked across his face. If only she knew the truth behind that blush. Fortunately, for him, deflection was a simple matter with the weapon obsessed maiden.

"How much is this?" Tenten knew without looking down into the case what he was looking at but she never got worked up over the glove selling. Tons of people came by and asked about it but very few wanted to pay the two hundred thousand Ryu to actually buy it. Most just goggled, sputtered or dashed away so it intrigued her when Naruto merely nodded in contemplation after she told him.

"Anyway," she chirped out deftly switching the subject, "these are finally ready." She set the box down on the counter blocking his view of the metal glove and smiled up at him. "I was so intrigued by your design that I convinced dad to make me a couple to practice with. She was bouncing up and down excitedly now brandishing one of her very own _Stingers_ as he called them.

Naruto pointedly focused on one of the shiny ebony items inside the box avoiding her healthy bouncing figure.

It was shaped vaguely like a kunai only its total length matched the bladed front end of its larger cousin minus the handle. The body was slimmer, about one-seventh the total width of a kunai blade and tapered in a similar fashion but that's where the similarities ended. The back end of the throwing weapon cut back in to make the bladed front shaped like an oddly-stretched diamond and a tiny metal tab at the back it extended just long enough to ensure a sturdy one-handed grip. Being a bit meatier than a senbon, it provided a bit more stopping power. Being as long as a kunai blade, it gave easier reach to critical organs in a strike. Being smaller than a full kunai increased the carrying capacity for an enterprising ranged fighter.

It was perfect for what he needed and Tenten seemed to approve. _A lot._

"These things you designed are freaking awesome!" Her twitchy energy came down a little as to used her blade to scrape soot from under her nails. "Dad says if you ever want to come work for us designing weapons he'll take you in." Naruto nodded thankfully as he reached into the box and pulled out the wooden model he'd made to help shape their molds. "He also says that since you're the guy that designed these things, he has to - by Konoha law - ask for your permission before he can offer to sell them in the store."

She looked down suddenly saddened as her normally sparkly brown eyes studied the shiny throwing blade in her hand. "Technically, I should not have asked for my dozen copies without your permission." She was laying on the _Puppy Eyes No Jutsu_ extra thick at this point and Naruto was doing his dead-level best to ignore her so he decided to get even.

"That's okay. I suppose you can just slave yourself to me for a year to pay me for them then we can call it quits." He didn't even look up to see her jaw completely unhinged as she squeaked unintelligibly.

"What? Did I say something strange?" She squeaked once more before hiding the exposed blade behind her back, which only proceeded to push out her developing chest underneath her pink, sleeveless qipao-style shirt.

"I'm kidding Tenten." He flashed a really crappy smirk her way. "If your dads wants to sell these, he can do so as long as I get a fair cut of the profits."

"Twenty-percent!" she offered quickly... a little too quickly. It told him that people must have already been asking about them and he caught several stacked neatly behind a nearby locked display case.

"Fifty-percent," he countered, which made her gasp in outrage.

"Twenty-five!" she rebutted and back and forth they kept going until they reached an accord at thirty-five percent plus ten free lessons with the cute brunette to fine tune his _shurikenjutsu_.

"Done!" The petite-framed girl with tightly packed buns on top of her head spit into her palm and extended his way immediately. Naruto, initially disgusted by the action, repeated it. Almost immediately a gushing Higurashi-san emerged from the curtain leading to the workshop brandishing a fresh contract, a couple feather quills and a jar of ink. Deftly writing thirty-five percent into a blank space, he rapidly signed the bottom on one side before spinning the parchment around to face him.

Reading quickly through the document to make sure he wasn't signing over his soul or agreeing to a secret marriage of some sort, Naruto signed his name in the space provided to the right of the elder Higurashi and they proceeded to repeat the symbolic handshake. They told him that he'd get a copy of the agreement in a few days after it was filed in the Hall of Records but, until then, the big guy slapped a fat envelope onto the top of the box with a sheepish grin.

"Huh? What's this?"

"Oh...hehe, that's just your cut of the advance paid for all the orders we've received on the _Stinger_ you designed. Should be about four hundred thousand there. I can't thank you enough for this." Naruto waived it away seeing this as an opportunity to pay back the Higurashi family for all the business he knew associating with him cost them...then he remembered the metal gauntlet he'd been ogling not three minutes earlier. Naruto blinked once, then twice before opening the envelope and counting out half of the money and slapping it back down onto the counter top.

"I'll take it!" he declared with gusto. Tenten blinked in return before his grin spread across to her face and she happily unlocked the case to reach in and grab the plated arm sleeve. Reverently wrapping it in a leather sheet, she gently tucked it into its new home - Naruto's box of _Stingers._

She got fifteen percent on all sales as commission after all.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

* * *

 **[E-Rank] Ninpo: Bikou Ninjutsu (Shadowing Stealth Technique):** Bikou Ninjutsu is the technique ninjas use to follow their targets covertly. The manner in which the ninja shadows their target can differ, from the basic hiding under a nearby object, to using a jutsu to turn oneself invisible while stationary. The shinobi attacking Iruka (I'm sure I gave enough hints to identify him), while not verbalizing the jutsu's name, uses it to gain the element of surprise and take him out allowing the successful kidnapping of Akimi.

 **[D-Rank] Katon: Houka Hira no Jutsu (** **Fire Release: Flaming Palm Technique):** A more advanced version of the Katon: Tanebi no Jutsu, this jutsu allows the user to make and hold a spark in their hand. They then amplify it with their chakra until it is a small flame about the size of a torch. By mimicking the gentle fist style, they push the flame into their opponent, causing clothes to light, or minor burns on the body.

~III~


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I've seen a great deal of discussion, both in reviews and in pm's, concerning this modified clone concept I'm using for the opening arcs of my fanfic, which I find particularly surprising since they were intended to be a very minor part of the overall piece. One thought that concerns me is the "broken clone" comment as the clones themselves aren't necessarily broken; it's Naruto that's broken – mentally. Having seen his fair share of trauma, his mind has been forced to cope with it the best way it knows how and that was by fracturing in an attempt to protect the "core" essence, that _innocent being_ portion of his psyche.

As you can probably expect, this can cause problems in "normal" people but, when used in our Kage-to-be with full use of mini-me clones, this could prove to be an interesting vehicle for all sorts of mayhem. Oddly enough, I chose not to focus on that but who is to say someone else couldn't run wild with this concept?

Needless to say, the underlying clones providing the chakra bodies for the "special" identities to use still function as intended. It is the core personality implanted on the clones that has been supplanted by the personality fragments forming Chishiki and _The Gang._ For this fic, I just took the split personalities and gave them the ability to "temporarily relocate" to the clone attached to the original via the chakra tethers affixed to his chakra network. For those clones where Naruto "ties off" the tether to form an unattached clone, he must intentionally and forcefully implant the conscious fragment (now that he's aware of them) then tie of the chakra tether. There are a number of side-effects to this, including less fidelity in information being shared, less control, and complete loss of real-time communication unless he generates another clone to pass on a message. There are pros and cons to each method.

 **Fuyuriku:** Thank you for the point on ellipsis and highlighting some of my more egregious errors. I will admit that I over use them to represent omissions and unspecified passages of time (a pause in speech) and should be more careful. I am going back to edit earlier chapters and will get to those as I clean up the language. As I admitted during my first fanfic, I'm a terrible writer and (mostly) do this to help improve my limited skill with the media [I are en-gu-neer, I are ed-you-mikated] so any help is appreciated. (You sound like you know your way around a fragmented sentence or five much like Zabzab).

I'm still trying to figure out while uploading my stories for editing auto-corrects some things and not others. I'm trying to be more diligent about catching those errors post-production.

 **Ashborn2271:** While Ku-chan is one of the clones, she is a representation of the Familial Love Naruto desperately desires in his own life and her appearance reflects an image from one of the lessons in the academy on _Famous Konoha Clans and their Contributions Throughout History_. Her red hair and pretty features stuck with him and manifested in the clone but, beyond that, she's not part of this fanfic. Minato's fragmented soul is tied to the seal itself (as part of his deal with the Shinigami who only allowed one leech) and, unfortunately, he'll be around for the time being. We'll have to see if he can redeem himself in the eyes of his son or remain a bit character.

 **To the Unidentified Guest:** I agree Ebisu is an ass but he's also one of my favorite villains. People underestimate him because he's not some blatantly over-powered baddie but that's what makes him so versatile. At low levels, he makes the perfect early-stage nemesis because he's not going to brazenly identify himself and charge in. You have to be smart in order to catch him.

That also makes him the perfect "I-hate-you-with-a-passion" bad guy.

As to Kemuri surviving, sorry. Not gonna happen even if he was my personal favorite. He was developed because of and inspired by the lead baddie in the Pixar movie "Small Soldiers" voiced by Tommy Lee Jones, liberally infused with manic amounts of Robin Williams' "enthusiasm." By the way, I neither own or have controlling interest in either of those marvelous acting estates – they just inspire my insanity. They were referenced solely for the creative process used to create Kemuri.

Unfortunately, there will be no stays of execution for the condemned.

To be honest, no one has asked me about the four crazies trying to imprison and subjugate Naruto through demonic rituals. While intended purely for comedic relief (yet to come), I find it partially disturbing that they are regarded as "normal" and taken completely in stride. (O.o)

Still not focusing on _Taming of the Savage Beast_ yet…

This chapter was particularly frustrating to write. It's my hope that I can finish it this week and have it posted by Friday.

Back to the story...

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 7: Moving Forward**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

 _Naruto's face tracked the older man as he stood away from the table. "You know Naruto, you can't join ANBU with a class one mental handicap like this," he opened his palm and sprinkled the plucked sunflower petals onto the table top, "...since Itachi Uchiha left, you understand that… right?" The boy's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. He never thought he'd lose a chance at his second dream as well. It made sense though._

 _"So, you basically have two choices. You can keep fighting my help and end up like the sunflower on the floor, or…" he pushed the healthy flower forward and directly in front of the fresh Genin, "or, you can let me help you put the pieces back together again." The clan head walked to the door but paused before stepping out._

 _"If you want my help, your appointment for next Wednesday is still on my calendar. Why don't you bring one of them with you? You can choose the next one you want me to reintegrate into your psyche and we can go from there." Naruto stared at the closed door for several minutes after Inoichi left before settling his gaze onto the bright flower._

 _'_ _Can't join ANBU…Most likely won't get a team…Back at square one…'_ _Those questions rattled around in his head until they eventually let him go an hour later into the Thursday morning Konoha sun under the condition that he now had to have ANBU minders until he agreed to resume the medical appointments._

 _He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Life sucked sometimes._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Wednesday Afternoon, Week 2: Naruto's Apartment ~**

Leaving Higurashi's kept up Naruto's joyous mood. The business deal concerning his _Stingers_ design was going to be a good source of supplemental income. Old man Higurashi even set it up so that his cut went straight to his bank account meaning he wouldn't have to keep swinging by for a share of the loot. Throw in the shiny new gauntlet hugging his left forearm and fist, the pretty dashing extra-long punch knives held snug to his body, and the scroll storing his order of throwing knives, and he'd had a fairly productive afternoon. Only the pretty dimples of that chocolate-eyed beauty smiling up at him from across the counter made it better.

Shaking away the warm feeling rising flush up from his chest to his neck, another smiling face flashed before his eyes utterly destroying his chipper mood in a heart-shattering moment. Akimi. The memory of her auburn locks pressed against his cheek riddled his heart with guilt.

He needed to set things right with her before he disappeared fully into the shinobi life. It was only right after all. No more forgotten faces. No more burnt bridges. He'd wait until after school let out for the day. Might as well get it all over with at one time and rip the band aid off, so to speak.

As far as he could remember, he'd never even congratulated her on the engagement to that puke – a guy that never really sat quite right in Naruto's mind; he was too slimy for his tastes and often smelled like rat for some odd reason.

Having filled his thigh holster and one of the additional storage seals Kenshin added to the gauntlet earlier, Naruto rose from the couch and waved good bye to his diminishing extended family. Soft smiles met his bravado as he prepared to depart for what could be his final day on the planet.

He tried very hard to ignore the childish snickering and even the yelled out, "Told ya not to keep putting this off!" as he stepped outside into the cooling evening of early summer. Stubbornness was always one of his sticking points, but he'd made this bed. Guess it was time to jump all in.

As he walked the ten minutes to Ichiraku's, his eyes flickered down to the metal backing of his new shiny. Kenshin added more than just two storage seals to the metal plates and, while he could identify some of them, Naruto was looking forward to advancing his sealing repertoire so that he could decipher the rest. So far all he saw were two storage seals, something with the kanji for [Earth] centered in a protection seal, and an odd storage seal with the five elements inscribed in the center of it. Their was an [Expulsion] seal in the palm but he had no idea why.

He was fascinated by the five elements seal. He wanted to know what the last two seal arrays did but crazy Shin was forcing him to learn the hard way. Learning the hard way sucked, in his opinion, so he gave up and looked outward to his destination.

Coming up on his favorite Ramen shop, he paused as two ANBU body flickered away, a very worried looking Teuchi turning to walk back inside. For some reason this forced his feet to move a little faster, the blond brawler ducking under the familiar awnings and onto a barstool with accustomed ease. Teuchi was ducking back behind the bar to console a bawling Ayame while Koaru sat off to one side looking like someone stole his overpriced sandals.

Kami how he hated how the boy bragged about his expensive habits. How could he afford that crap on carpenter apprentice pay anyway?

Glancing around, he seemed puzzled, but the newly attentive portion of his brain started to put two and two together. First, Akimi wasn't there but it was long past time for her to report for work. Furthermore, it was Wednesday night, Iruka's normal night to swing by and see if Naruto had popped in for a visit but, as far as his keen eyes could tell, there was no Iruka-sensei either. Lastly, and most definitely least, slimeball was moping over the counter's corner edge without Akimi to pander to his _Royal Dirtiness_. It was starting to add up to a very unpleasant conclusion, so he decided to pull an intervention.

"Oi, Old Man Teuchi! What's got everyone so down in the mouth?"

All three heads snapped up in surprise. Dirtball sneered in disgust and turned away. Ayame burst into tears and buried her head into her father's chest and several customers, folks that normally cut him a little slack, all turned away showing him their backs. Naruto was floored and only Teuchi's sympathetic gaze kept him from bolting.

"W-What happened?" he asked, confusion and shock plastered all over his face. Teuchi, for his part, looked lost for words.

"I can't right now, Naruto. Your best bet is to talk to Iruka. Give us some time, yeah?" Shock thundered through the young man's heart as his world began to implode.

"Yeah, I guess so." His voice sounded small and childlike. "I'll catch him when he comes by, I guess." At that, Ayame tore herself away from Teuchi and ran into the back leaving an utterly stunned Naruto in her wake.

"He's in the hospital, Naruto, room two-oh-seven. Visiting hours last for another," he paused to check the clock by the condiments counter, "two hours."

That actually staggered him. He backed out of the ramen shop not paying particular attention to the people trying not to run him over. From inside, Teuchi saw the black open-toed sandals and muscular calves for just a moment before they disappeared in the passing crush of pedestrians. Through the wall behind him he could hear his daughter's anguished cries clear as a bell.

Unfortunately, he missed the evil smirk on the face of young master Aono.

~III~

Naruto immediately took to the roofs to cross Konoha proper, the trip to Konoha's central hospital taking less than three minutes to make. It wouldn't have mattered what was happening in the streets below as the trip was a blur for the terrified Genin. Muffled voices, flashes of color, slow-moving ghosts of the day, it all swept past in a wash of streaks.

Day turned into carefully modulated phosphorescent lights, the earthy outside air into charcoal-purified oxygen. The random sounds from the uncoordinated masses in the Market District became the hushed whispers and moans of the unwell. Before he realized it, Naruto was standing outside of a second-story room while a boar-faced ANBU granted him access to his bed-ridden academy instructor.

It took him another five minutes of just breathing before he built up enough courage to slide open the door and step into the room. What he saw broke him down to his knees next to the bed.

Iruka's bed had been tilted up at an angle so that his face could rest in the gently setting daylight, an air mask strapped to his lower face pumped life-giving oxygen into his lungs. Monitor plugs taped to his chest, neck and temple fed electronic impulses into the beeping machine on the far side of the bed, all indications as he watched the mask periodically fog up and clear with the steadying breathing of the pale figure lying oblivious to the world around him.

He looked fragile, like a strong wind could crush him.

Sitting seiza on the floor next to his former instructor and off-again-on-again mentor, Naruto bowed his head and began to pray despite not knowing the first step of a proper prayer.

"To whatever Kami will listen, please watch over my friend." The rhythmic beeping continued to echo back to him.

"To whatever Kami will hear me, please watch over Akimi until someone, anyone can find her. She has to be somewhere, right?" The numbers on the beeping monitor fluctuated briefly.

"Finally, to the Shinigami, please give me the chance, just one chance, to find the bastard that did this," he glanced up from the floor as his eyes narrowed with hatred, "so that I can kill him myself."

Then all hell broke loose. The machines started a steady stream of noise as red lights started flashing. The door flew the rest of the way open and an army of medical staff surged into the room to surround the bed. Cloth began to shred and get flung away as nervous medical nins started yelling instructions. Through it all, Naruto rose to his feet and took a step back trying to make sense of the pandemonium until a strong pair of hands pulled him forcefully away, spun him around from the hectic attempt to save the dying instructor, and pushed his face into an armor chest plate while he struggled to break free.

He wasn't strong enough and then the world spun out from under his feet. Alone with his benefactor, Naruto shed the tears he couldn't inside the hospital, the ones he wouldn't allow anyone else to see. _Hebi_ clung to his shoulders as he wept silently, his angry tears running down the curved mounds of her armor plating.

On the opposite end of the roof, _Neko_ turned her eyes outward to give them their moment. Outwardly, she was silent as the marble statues in Konoha's art museum. Inwardly, her anger was a slow burn, a frigid layer of snow just beneath the surface of her skin. Someone needed to pay for this. If _Neko_ had her way, someone _would_ pay for this.

Anko mentally cursed, then cursed again. She wasn't any good at this "comfort the victim" crap. Hell, the only reason she had the gaki pressed to her body was to distract him from the circus going on down below. It wasn't the greatest plan now that she looked back on it, but the intent was to get his mind off of the fact that Iruka might actually die and that they had absolutely no friggin' idea who the perp was. Young guys were always weird around boobs, right? So, it sounded like an easy distraction to start off with.

Now, here she was on the roof (yes, thank you to the body flicker which was the handy Jack-of-All-Trades multi-purpose tool) holding a teenager so angry he wouldn't open his eyes to see the magnificence that was her body-molded boob-protector. How was a girl supposed to get a proper rise out of a guy if he was too angry to pay attention? Her body mesh would have worked better but she was working with what she had.

Instead, she slid one hand up to the back of his head and tried to gently run her fingers through the blond mash of hair. It worked when he was smaller and had nightmares about the bastards chasing him through the streets. She'd always marveled at the silky softness of his hair, almost like fur. Anko was almost, _almost_ tempted to rip off a glove so she could run her fingers through it just once more. Grabbing a fistful of his jacket with her other hand (so he couldn't dash off), she opened her mouth to whisper something sappy like, "Iruka is strong… he'll make it so have a little faith in him," when Naruto's head shot up off her Kevlar-plated chest, eyes wide open and suddenly very focused.

"I-I know where the girl is," he blurted out without preamble. _Neko's_ keen ears heard it from across the roof and her next two words summarized everything perfectly.

"Oh, poop!"

~III~

Clone Number Three for the night had just completed his third circuit of the Red-Light District returning to his original station on the far side of _The Cherry Blossom_ when he smelled it again. Sure, it was gradually fading like most smells did but to pick up the faint aroma of Ichiraku's this far into the slums was unusual. Clones had been noting the scent since Monday when the Original resumed their nightly patrols for the ladies and it was bothering this particular copy all night long. Rather than settle in for another boring night of nothing (clones Seven and Eight got to beat down some drunken warehouse guys for getting too touchy without paying), he decided to do a little investigating.

Channeling a trickle of chakra to his nose, Three took off in a slowly-expanding circle until he could trace the origin. It led him to the adjacent rooftop and a partially-open warehouse skylight and the wafting voices of two partially-inebriated males. _Sniff! Sniiiiiiiiiffffffff!_ Yeah, it was coming up from the opening in the glass panes.

Laying sideways next to the skylight, Three raised his face up just enough to allow his left eye to crest over the sill allowing a peek into the open space below. What he saw were four males, two of which were drinking and joking in the middle of the largely empty building, and one dingy and slightly bruised auburn-haired female manacled to the wall in one of the back corners.

Standing not two meters from her with a sick gleam in his eyes was one Koaru Aono. Standing a little way off observing their interaction was another shinobi, probably a Genin from the looks of it, with a really shitty grin on his face as he leered at the helpless girl. You didn't have to be a fully-sentient chakra construct to figure out what was rolling through that pea-sized brain.

The clone slowly dropped back below the window sill, rolled flat onto his back making the necessary hand sign, the released in a puff of smoke.

~III~

"Who do we have patrolling the Entertainment Sector?" _Hebi_ chuckled at _Neko's_ delicate way of dancing around the prostitution quarter of town. They both knew what kind of "entertainment" she was referring to.

" _Nezumi_ and _Moru_ have the watch tonight." _Hebi's_ eyes were locked on to the back of her rapidly-moving otōto as _Neko_ began pulsing her chakra in a looping pattern. He had been incredibly difficult to hold onto after snapping out of his funk and now they were trying to catch him again before he rushed off to do something idiotic.

Damnit, he was unreasonably quick.

"Call it in, _Hebi._ You know we have to." _Neko_ could hear her tongue clucking in response even as her left hand reached up to the radio transmit button on her earpiece.

~III~

This had to be some terrible nightmare. Akimi shook her matted locks trying to clear her vision since she couldn't pull her arms down from above her head with the chains keeping them painfully elevated. Yes, this had to be some horrible, horrible nightmare and she was going to wake up any minute now. Any minute now…

Nope, when she opened her eyes he was still there. The man she loved, the man that swore to protect her for the rest of his days, was standing there close enough to spit on her. She knew that for a fact as his spit was still drying on her face since the damnable chains wouldn't let her wipe it off. But it got worse.

Right before he'd spit in her face, he'd bragged about how his plan was working perfectly. _His_ plans! Oh, it was a shame that Iruka had to die but it was necessary to make Konoha safe from her former demon lover. That confused her until he started raging about how she betrayed the human race by falling in with that hellion, Naruto.

Then he proceeded to tell her about Naruto being the Kyuubi reborn.

The confused look on her face only made him madder and he started yelling at the top of his lungs. This time it was about how the Yondaime had defeated the Kyuubi fourteen years ago using his powerful magic to change the terrible demon into a weaker form that the citizens of Konoha could kill granting them their final revenge. There was a ten-minute rant about traitors like the filthy Sandaime who shat upon that legacy by protecting the filthy demon and how she was equally filthy by befriending the monster, albeit unknowingly. She was a traitor to humans everywhere, not just Konoha, and The Yondaime's Legacy, his true legacy, were going to slay the filthy monster before her very eyes. It was only a matter of time now.

Even while her mind was trying to deny what she was hearing, how it was trying to convince her that this was just some tragic mistake, he was laughing maniacally and promising her that she'd get what she deserved once the demon fell for the final time. Koaru and his "boys" were going to make sure of that before they slit her demon-whore throat.

She was in hell.

Up above all this, Clone Seven looked to Clone Eight before nodding once and releasing. The moment he did, the remaining eight clones still active took to the roofs and started making their way to the same rooftop. Boss would want the help.

~III~

Naruto fought down the rage when the second clone released. He needed to be calm. More importantly, he wanted to be in control when he killed that bastard, Koaru.

By the time he arrived, six of his remaining patrol squad was gathered on the roof a short distance from the skylight. A seventh clone was leaned up next to the glass keeping an eye on what was happening below. Naruto padded up silently next to the huddled group and demanded an update.

Clone Two: "One is watching those idiots below. Apparently the two drunk fools were the ones that started the attack on Iruka. The third one is a Chunin from the Nara clan that grabbed Kimi-chan and distracted him long enough for someone else, a fourth 'sensei' as they refer to him, to stab him."

Naruto's eyes narrowed briefly before asking, "Did you catch a name?" The clone shook his head in disappointment.

Clone Nine: "Shithead left about two minutes ago. You just missed him. Six took off to keep an eye on him." Naruto nodded in understanding while his two ANBU shadows had arrived and were listening to the debrief with interest.

Clone Four: "The girl is chained to the wall in the southwest corner. The Nara is sitting on a bucket drooling at her while _Tweedle Dumb_ and _Tweedle Dumber_ are getting smashed near the northeast entrance. Aside from this skylight and a padlocked door on the western street face, that's the only way in.

Naruto closed his eyes and thought for about two minutes. As he opened his mouth to speak, _Neko_ jumped in to the conversation.

"Naruto, you will stand down. Reinforcements are on the way and a rescue squad will be here in the next three minutes. Let us handle this." He stared up into the smooth porcelain mask and his eyes softened for a single breath before steeling into a death mask. He flexed his chakra and two more clones appeared before promptly jumping down to the western street and taking up position next to the door.

A third clone appeared, then stabbed itself in the chest. Clones that identified themselves as Two, Four, and Five leapt down to the northeast door. Clone Eight henged into the disheveled appearance of Akimi before sliding over to the skylight and waiting.

 _Hebi_ drew a kunai and muttered, "Damnit!" under her breath before preparing to restrain the blond Genin, forcibly if required. Before she could jump him, Naruto said "GO!" very clearly and stabbed poor Clone Seven in the neck with a Kunai setting a chain reaction of events in motion.

The three street-level clones kicked in the door and charged into the warehouse screaming at the top of their lungs, one throwing a kunai at one of the drunks. Stunned and too uncoordinated to respond, the inebriated Genin fell over narrowly avoiding the gift skewering via air delivery. Another clone drop kicked the other Genin sending him into a stack of empty pallets which rendered him blessedly unconscious. The third clone charged the Nara who had turned to observe the distraction, but things didn't go well for the last construct as a rapidly-thrown shuriken caught him in the thigh dispelling him halfway across the open floor.

The other two watched helplessly as the now angry Chunin turned and let fly with his drawn kunai, the deadly weapon striking true right between the budding breasts of poor Akimi. Her eyes flew open as a pained and betrayed look shot across her face, her killer panting deliriously at her suffering.

"Shit!" muttered _Hebi._

Right before the dying girl smiled then vanished in a puff of smoke. The Akimi look alike on the roof stumbled backwards from the skylight landing on her rear end, Naruto arriving immediately thereafter to help her back to her feet. The screaming began once her eyes locked onto his and she bolted to the nearest non-Naruto, meaning _Neko._

"Huh?" _Neko_ ignored _Hebi's_ confused outburst and turned to the once overly pleased but now horribly confused Genin.

"Your clone substituted with her." It was more a statement than a question, one which Naruto acknowledged faintly, his eyes never leaving the horrified face of the girl that used to be his best friend.

"Yeah, it's something we train with during my morning combat sessions." _Hebi's_ mask shot up to lock onto the surprising gaki before whipping around to notice the wide eyes of the terrified kidnapping victim. Naruto turned to the cat-faced ANBU as their hand signs started flying.

[She knows. Going to deal with Nara/ perps below.] _Neko nodded._

"They're all yours." _Neko_ took hold of the girl's shoulders keeping her both on her feet and from fleeing at the same time. _Hebi_ jumped down to the street and charged in to deal with the troublesome Nara. Naruto tried to get closer to Akimi, his hands raised to indicate he was harmless, and the girl nearly clawed her way out of _Neko's_ grasp. The Genin immediately backed off, his face dropping to the metal sheets covering the roof.

"Hey!" Naruto turned to look at _Neko_ and caught the flinch from Akimi when their eyes locked. Was that fear? He didn't get to focus on it long as the elite ANBU continued.

"Since when could you do seal-less jutsu?" _Neko_ knew that she needed to keep him focused otherwise a decent rescue was going to turn to crap.

Naruto turned away so that he wouldn't have to keep watching Akimi flinch every time he spoke. "It's something I've been working on." His clones were focused on the Chunin waging war below and while the only thing he could focus on was the slowly breaking muscle in his chest.

~III~

Anko stepped in the now shattered entrance sliding her tanto from its sheath in a deliberate display of aggression. Off to her right, she could see the clones tying the two drunks to a support column, one pausing cheekily to flash her a "thumbs up" before returning to cinching up the ropes extra snugly. She tried extra hard not to giggle at the painful grunts and groans from those two bastards with each brutal yank on the ropes.

Instead her eyes turned to the Nara furiously staring at the now empty spot where his captive was. She was familiar with the family's reputation for big brains and she was hoping this was one of the average variety. All she needed now to make her day perfect was a super genius psychopath with a knack for strategy.

"He…he said that this plan was perfect! He said all we had to do was keep her quiet. W-W-Why would he lie?" She let slip a hissing sigh.

' _Jackpot! I got one still stuck on building blocks!'_ "Surrender quietly and I can go after your ringleader, Koaru." She wasn't expecting the statement to be funny but the cackling laughter coming from the last villain standing gave her the impression that being stuck with _Bonko Mc. Bobo_ here wasn't necessarily a better option. It made her pause enough to wait until the fit of hysteria passed, something she'd later regret.

"Oh my! You think the do-gooder carpenter is our boss?!" The dark-haired boy tittered briefly struggling to regain enough control to focus. "That patsy doesn't even realize that his life ends once the demon brat dies!" He snickered again, his eyes closed in apparent delirium, as his hands shot up and directly behind him, the room exploding in excruciatingly bright light much to the agonized shouts of the six clones still staring in his direction.

[Kage Atsuryoku Yashi Gijutsu!] Still dazed by the strobe flash, Anko couldn't see which direction to jump in to avoid the massive hand of shadow that clamped her arms to her sides before it began crushing the air from her lungs. Up on the roof, Clone One screamed out in agony as the strobe overloaded his eyes and disrupted his chakra network enough to dispel him.

' _Hard to breathe! H-Hard to concentrate!'_ She swore something cracked but, before she could black out, a suddenly rush of vertigo lead to a welcome rush of sore ribs and fresh air. Even with the world spinning, the sound of a clone bursting into smoke reached her ears and she looked up into the unhappy face of the original Naruto still up on the roof.

"We tried it your way," he began. "Now it's my turn!" He leapt over the roof ledge pushing chakra to his feet to cushion the landing before dashing into the spacious warehouse where the deranged Nara was killing the last of the blinded clones sent in to back _Hebi-chan_. The fanatic's eyes were looking over the two clones standing by the unconscious Genin when the blond entered. _Mr. Cray Cray_ sighted down the jinchuuriki, his face becoming almost rapturous.

"This… this is my moment of glory! This is the day of Hideki's rise to power!" With the spiky-haired nutjob flashing through hand signs, Naruto opted to bring the fight to him bursting another dozen shadow clones into existence as he charged. It turned out to be a mistake.

[Kagemane no Jutsu!] The shadow at the boy's feet shot out to meet him. Naruto rolled to the side just in time to dodge but the clone directly behind him got snagged stopping dead in its tracks, his posture matching the vest wearing shinobi down to the hand seal and crazed smile. Another clone tried to break the doppelganger loose by shoulder blocking him but only succeeded in being captured himself as the captured clone dispersed.

Naruto noticed that both the first subdued clone _and_ the jutsu originator took the hit and he filed that away for later. Reaching down to his thigh holster, Naruto let fly with a pair of _Stingers_ forcing the shadow wielder to release the second clone as the first two began taking shots with kunai swipes. Naruto noticed something else at that point that made him snarl; the shadow wielder, unless it was a helpless girl, was horrible at taijutsu barely dodging the hectic pace of knife swings taking clean swatches of cloth out of his apparel.

He was strictly a ranged support fighter and that suited Naruto just fine.

The panicked Chunin reached into his vest, presumably to pull out more flash bombs, but the entire mob of Naruto's was on to that particular trick and closed their eyes. As expected, the bright burst of bluish-white light made the entire warehouse blink like a photo flash, but the entire blond army was already moving, most rolling sideways to avoid the predictable hand of crushing death.

When Naruto opened his eyes, he saw another clone vanishing in a puff of smoke through the fingers of another giant fist of slowly evaporating shadow. The remaining ten copies roared in anger and surged forward, the now terrified Chunin searching for an exit and finding only a barred door to his front (after he turned and ran) and a mob at his back. When his frantic pushing on the door did nothing but rattle the lock, he spun just in time to throw up his arms to protect his face.

Then the fists descended as the first one knocked the wind from his lungs. When his arms dropped to hug his stomach, the next right hook knocked the spit from his mouth as a foot swept his legs out from under him.

"U!" Another foot kicked him up into the air then the clone dropped to all fours.

"Zu!" Another clone leaped off the back of the one that kicked him into the air adding to the momentum with a kick of his own.

"Ma!" A third clone pushed chakra into his legs to leap up high enough to plant another kick into the Nara's back while the original sprung off the joined hands of a pair just off to the side going airborne with their added boost.

"Ki!" A fourth clone dog-piled on the spontaneous game of "kick the bad guy" holding him airborne long enough for the original to get into place right above him.

"Combo Barrage!" High enough to see the dazed face of his opponent, Naruto dropped a chakra-laced heel kick onto the shinobi's stomach sending him rocketing to the ground which cratered the concrete nicely. Coughing up a mouthful of blood, the heavily battered kidnapper passed quickly into unconsciousness.

Clones immediately began tying him up while the cavalry came surging in through the door, _Inoshishi_ looking none too pleased at the grinning Genin swiping a finger across the bottom of his nose.

"What's up, Boar! You're just in time to clean up the trash." Naruto tried not to laugh too loudly at their groans.

~III~

Koaru never actually left the area. When he exited the building, he doubled back by cutting over an entire block, through a ramshackle tenement building, then back through a common bath house. Hidden by the edge of the shoddy servicing station, he watched just long enough to see the second wave of Shinobi blazing their way into the warehouse and hear Hideki Nara scream incoherently in pain.

When the ANBU started to pour in, he figured it was time to make good his escape.

He didn't wander but instead leisurely, and with deliberate calm, entered the family home of the Konoha Aono family. Reaching into the lowest drawer of his bureau, the crafty socialite pocketed a carefully-packed storage scroll before climbing out the window of his room and down to the store below. Carefully sneaking in the rear entrance, he timed his approach so as to gain entry into the office without old man Aito noticing him only to exit a moment later with half the safe's contents in his scroll.

Slipping back out into the street, he scooted quickly for the southern gate bound directly for the southern shores of Hi no Kuni hoping to never be seen again in Konoha.

' _Live to thrive another day, Koaru!'_

~III~

Unfortunately, the Hokage was not as easily amused as the three found out standing in front of his desk later that afternoon. With _Neko_ on one side and _Hebi_ on the other, the Sandaime was reading them all the riot act.

"I tasked you two with keeping him out of trouble! Yet here you are letting him get involved in kidnapping escapades and conspiracy plots!" Hiruzen's eyes were flashing with emotion at the moment and Naruto's hand started to work its way up to the back of his neck before _Hebi_ swatted it away.

"I'd like to know who the adult supervision is with you three." Both _Hebi_ and Naruto pointed to _Neko_ , who gawked indignantly. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Hiruzen let out an exasperated sigh before looking over the incident report one last time.

"I suppose there isn't much I can do other than," his stern face looked up from the scroll to the increasingly nervous teen noting how the boy was fidgeting trying to stand at attention, "other than give you credit for the B-rank mission you just completed."

The Genin's jaw fell open and _Neko_ reached over quietly to push it closed.

"Congratulations Naruto, you're the only Genin of your class to have completed both an A-rank and a B-rank before actually being assigned a team." The youth's face began to break out into a huge smile and Hiruzen felt the need to knock him down a peg. "Keep getting into trouble and I'll start charging you for property damage, like every other shinobi under my charge, now that you're a working adult."

That wiped the smile right off Naruto's face and, pleased now that his ego was firmly under control, the Hokage turned his attention to the two ANBU standing on either side of him.

"That just leaves you two now that he's making those weekly sessions with Inoichi. You two are free to return to your regular duties. I've sent the paperwork down to Disbursing to cut your pay for the extended B-rank." _Hebi's_ mini-celebration brought a smile to Naruto's face. She deserved something for looking after him. "Take Naruto with you so he can receive his pay for the kidnappers," the Hokage grumbled out as he passed a green tinged scroll to the youngest of the three.

The two ANBU chirped out an enthusiastic, "Yes Sir!" then dragged their charge outside before he could cause more problems for the both of them. Ten minutes later with pay in hand, the three were on the street about to part ways when the snake ANBU glanced down to the quickly deflating enthusiasm of her adopted brother.

"Don't worry, Naruto. I'm sure she'll come around after the trauma of this whole thing has worn off. Don't take it so hard." She saw his head nod in agreement, the non-committed shrug of the shoulders, and even heard the grunt of acknowledgement, but none of it told her that he agreed with a thing she said. The sad eyes and slumped posture told Anko that this was another case of someone dear to him breaking away.

The girl had been near hysterics when he tried to check on her after the ANBU squad took away what was left of the idiot threesome. She'd been beyond terrified, screaming, crying, pleading for them to get her away from the monster all while Naruto stood there looking like he'd been kicked in the gut by a mule.

Only Naruto felt like he could save the day and the girl and still lose at life.

~III~

The remainder of Naruto's Wednesday night was fairly tame by comparison.

Akimi, once released, had returned to Ichiraku's to let them know that she was quitting effective immediately. Naruto would find out an hour long after she'd left crying hysterically saying that she needed time away to sort it all out. The Ichirakus couldn't get much more out of her but it all made sense once Naruto filled them in on the rescue and how Koaru was apparently behind it all. The fact that he'd spilled Naruto's secret, one which Teuchi knew but Ayame did not considering she was five when it happened, was all that the old ramen maker needed to hear in order to understand why the orphan girl was so scared; the Kyuubi was the reason why the girl was an orphan to begin with. It hurt them both to leave Ayame out in the cold, but the Third's Law made it mandatory, unless Naruto was willing to take another risk which he clearly was not. Teuchi's heart bled for his once best customer and he added an extra-large Naruto Special on the house and the two agreed not to speak of it until Naruto was ready to address it all. Ayame kissed him on the cheek for saving Akimi and left him to his meal, which reminded him of the next stop he needed to make before going home.

Back inside Iruka's room, he ran into a still-bruised and bandaged Anko in her normal mesh body suit and trench combo. Since they'd both been given the night and the next day off to recover, Anko had come by to see how the instructor was doing before finding her own evening repast. The two sat side-by-side retelling the adventure for Iruka's benefit even if he couldn't hear a word of it, Anko departing shortly after the finale so that Naruto could spend a few moments alone with his former sensei.

"You can't leave me, Iruka-sensei. You and old man Ichiraku are all I have left." Water began to pool in his deep blue eyes but refused to fall, the boy's nervous hands trying to occupy themselves as he fought for words to accompany the steady beeping of the heart monitor. "I know I act like I don't need anyone, but I do." Those same blue eyes prayed that the darker ones lying in bed would open just this once.

"I don't know if I can do this alone anymore." For many hours, he sat there listening to the steady beep of the machine for his only companion.

 **~ Thursday Late Morning, Week 2 ~**

Thursday morning was rougher than normal for the Genin hopeful. Believing life was going to suck no matter what happened, he rolled out of bed when his alarm went off, created clones for the oddball clone family, the ran off to continue his morning workout regimen. While he was sweating out three-hundred repetitions of each exercise, his clone support system was rapidly trying to pull together his revised training folder. The next victim was running out of time.

Everything that followed was Naruto going through the motions, even the obligatory shower with Naruko trying to cheer him up by pressing her chest into his back brought no reaction. He read according to his study plan but couldn't remember what Chishiki had left for him to digest. Miserable at his own inability to stay centered, he vowed to reread it at night during his free time and instead headed out to get some fresh air.

He felt like he needed distance from, well, everything.

Not paying particular attention to where his feet took him, Naruto ended up once again next to Iruka's hospital bed staring down at the peacefully resting instructor. One of the nurses was kind enough to pass on that the danger was over. Their lab had successfully neutralized the substance trying to choke him from the inside and now he just needed rest. The doctor was hoping to discharge him to light duty by Sunday morning, which truly was good news. Naruto ended up taking a chair and rambling on quietly for twenty minutes before Akimi's face flashed before his eyes. That prompted an immediate end to the visit and soon his feet were carrying him off again to Kami knows where.

On second thought, maybe Kami was trying to punish him relentlessly. He looked up again only to see Ichiraku's not more than four paces away.

"Damn." It was between the morning and afternoon rush, so his voice carried enough to startle the three folks talking behind the counter, all of whom jumped when they heard him. Teuchi and Ayame looked as if they'd been caught sneaking into the cookie jar. Akimi, a small envelope presumably with her final pay, was rooted on the spot terrified with fear.

That fear was the final straw of the day. Naruto's face scrunched up in anger, one loud _tsk_ left his mouth, then he turned away and strode off into the crowd with his hands jammed into the pockets of his Navy cargo shorts before anyone could say anything. It didn't stop Ayame from calling his name, so he pretended to not hear and kept walking. He never saw the ashamed look on Akimi's face nor the sad looks of sympathy on the ramen stand duo.

He understood that Teuchi and Ayame were just caught up in the middle of what was going on with Akimi. He was just too hurt by her turning on him to care.

Before long he was atop the Hokage Monument, the spiky hair of the Yondaime forming his throne of contemplation. He stayed there until the busy ant-like crowds dwindled and faded during the sun's plummet to the horizon. He brooded while the sky burst into dying hues of oranges, reds and purples and, as night fully settled across the sleepy village, came to a conclusion.

It was probably all for the best. Assassins couldn't afford to love anyway.

He was aiming to join the ANBU and, if they weren't part of the elite corps, then it was best not to get too attached. He would need to sever all ties eventually. Speaking of which…

He glanced over the note left on his door notifying him of the time and location for team selections the following Monday. This would be tricky but could be managed. He could get through this next phase of his career and make a name for himself during his first Chunin Exam. If he kept his time amongst the teams short, his record clean, and did well during the exams, they'd notice. They'd _have_ to notice. He'd need the mission completion record anyway and, so long as none of his teammates died and he put on a great show, he might draw _Doragon's_ attention.

The Hokage told him that invitations came from _Doragon_ and none other. Furthermore, they always vetted their selections during the Konoha advancement exams after long evaluation periods. On _very_ special occasions, it could happen in another village, but it took remarkable prospects to move that kind of heaven and earth. If the peerless leader of the ANBU Corps hadn't started watching him by now, he'd make sure that they were by then. _'Believe it!'_

It was as his revelation was dying with the final traces of color on the sky's canvas that the scent of lavender caught his nose, but he didn't turn around. The soft shuffling of sandals on stone alerted him to her approach but even then, he did not turn to acknowledge her until she plopped down to his right.

"It's good to see you again," his voice a fragile whisper. The soft-spoken Hyuuga bowed her head, her face a blazing shade of red. It wasn't a great start, but it was better than the last dozen or so times when she fell over dead to the world just by being this close to him. He would miss both her and her fainting spells terribly. Naruto remembered once she nearly fell of the mountain, so he began moving further back to prevent her falling to her death on the rocky earth below. Their memories together over the last year would serve to keep him warm on the many cold nights ahead on the village's behalf.

Their routine had become fairly predictable. He'd wander once a week. She'd eventually find him in one of a half dozen locations. She'd join him (an on-going open invitation after their first clandestine meeting) and he'd talk, always in the same gentle voice (he learned that him getting excited usually lead to Naruto grabbing her hands and Hinata promptly passing out) but always about something he'd read or learned or seen. He never talked about what happened to him personally because he figured she had enough of her own problems to deal with.

He'd observed the other Hyuugas and they weren't much to brag about, especially that dirtbag Neji.

This time, however, he began talking about the kidnapping, about how he found out and how he eventually found her location. Once he started the words flowed without end as if some great dam had finally burst. He talked about the rescue, the fight, and – worst of all – the discovery of her fear. Never mentioning Akimi by name, he talked of how his only real lifelong friend couldn't stand to be near him (without going into the Kyuubi) and how that made him feel, the whole time cursing his afternoon sessions with Inoichi Yamanaka.

He felt indescribable pain.

He felt unending betrayal.

He felt unfathomable loneliness.

Then he felt a pair of warm arms wrapped around his neck as her body closed in to hug him from the side, his shoulder and arm nestled between the soft orbs of her chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind her very soft body registered tickling some primal urge to hug her back, but he was too stunned, so he sat perfectly still afraid to even breathe. Tears were falling from her eyes to land on his jacket and she sniffled on his behalf, the surreal nature of the embrace making him feel better and worse at the same time.

As was their ritual, they spent a half hour together before she had to leave but, at the end of their ritualistic bonding, she hugged him once more and squeaked out in a bare whisper, "I'll always be here for you." Then she kissed his cheek, squeaked yet again while brandishing a brilliant shade of red to her creamy complexion, before leaping off in the direction of the clan estates.

Naruto actually stayed upright with the fingers of his hand lightly touching that same cheek, for fear of erasing the tingling caused by the gentle brush of her lips on his flesh, for a whole thirty seconds before falling flat out on his back unconscious.

~III~

Friday and Saturday were better if for no other reason than Naruto buckled down and got back into his training rhythm. He would have to revise it based on whatever training schedule his team used but, for these last two days, he wanted normal. That meant bumping up his resistance seals to two fully charged elements and more chakra control.

He'd finally learned how to spin leaves on every finger in addition to his palms, but it was still a touch wobbly. It was, however, good enough for Keihatsu to walk him through his next hurdle [Kinobori no Waza], or the _Act of Tree Climbing_. The concept was simple enough but neither he nor the clone had attempted it yet (Keihatsu hadn't because he wanted to surprise Naruto). The clone had studied the concept laying out enough information for Naruto to begin working on it Monday morning (using more clones) as part of his modified morning training session.

Naruto was looking forward to Monday but, in the meantime, he found his way to the hospital with takeout from Ichiraku's. He figured Iruka would be tired of hospital food and wanted to surprise him with a decent visit and something palatable. While the transaction with Teuchi was awkward in the extreme, it was at least civil and Iruka was ecstatic to have something other than pudding or icicle pops. All he had to do for an hour was avoid Iruka's repeated attempts to hear more about how things were with Akimi. Easy, right?

Finally leaving the hospital far behind, Naruto was more than happy to make it home and barricade himself inside for the night. He woke up the next morning hoping to have been assigned as a deep cover agent with a traveling circus. Anyone could learn to swallow swords and fire to land the gig. It would have been child's play compared to facing his academy peers on Monday but face them he would.

~III~

He'd been up for an hour by the time his alarm went off. One of the clones helping to check his gear pack out for the fifth time tromped into the back and smashed it for him returning the crowded apartment back to its gentle sounds, the click-clack of weapons being cleaned, oiled and re-stowed for later use. It was like a well-oiled machine.

One clone would lay them out. Another clone would check for nicked ends and hone them to a razor's edge. Another would clean away any residue with a lightly oiled rag, Naruto would inspect them, sending back any that needed a final touch up, or pass them to Fuu-chan to confirm all weapons were indeed ready.

When she gave the nod, and only when she gave it, did they go into the appropriate holster or storage seal. Naruto grinned at the elemental seals added to his fighting kunai by Kenshin. Eventually he would learn that little trick and add it to all of his weapons but, for now maintaining his personal armory would have to get him by.

They did this for all five hundred miscellaneous short blades and throwing weapons in his current inventory. It wasn't all that bad considering work started at zero-four and he didn't have to be at the academy until zero-eight.

A thorough shower to remove any non-natural scents (like excessive oil) and it was time for breakfast at zero-seven. At zero-seven-forty, all packed and decked out in khaki shorts, a navy-blue tee, and his black and orange jacket, Naruto got one final kiss on the noggin from Ku-chan, waived to the gang, then strolled through Konoha to find out who was going to ruin his life today.

It wasn't that he wasn't nervous. He was just a touch paranoid and that tamped down his initial jitters. He was determined not to let it show because today was his day. He'd made it, by hook or by crook. He made it to the game, and no one was taking that away.

An easy stroll and ten minutes later found Naruto gliding through the entryway into the schoolhouse. Some familiar faces were already there out front. He caught his favorite Hyuuga with a leggy brunette that looked familiar enough to make him pause. Winking at the Clan heiress, he brushed it off and moved without a backward glance past the mob waiting for the Uchiha to make his valiant return.

The strange faces returning from failed Genin teams he paid no mind. They'd either make the cut this time or they wouldn't. It was the shinobi way.

Familiar classroom smells bombarded his nose before he even opened the sliding door to Iruka's class. Chalk dust hung in the air, the motes dancing on air currents stirred up by the lazily rotating fans hanging from the ceiling. His eyes swept row after row of empty seats as ghost-like images of children joking and laughing waged war with more painful memories. He had good times here, few and far between that they were.

Tracing two fingers along the desktop edges, he slowly picked his way to a chair up near the top row in the center of the room. If he remembered correctly, that should put him next to…

The door slid open again and a red-faced Hinata entered, red-faced but smiling. Closing the door behind her, the timid girl made her way directly to where he was standing, hugged him briefly then slipped into her seat of four years. Naruto leaned over and gently kissed her forehead, which made her swoon, before taking the chair next to her. She was getting better, slowly but surely; she didn't pass out this time even if her knuckles were turning bleach white from her grip on the desk's edge.

It was only for one day. Someone would just have to adjust due to his relocation as he just couldn't resist messing with her.

Their quiet didn't last long before more laughing voices and excited hopefuls began filing in. Some of them paused or stutter-stepped when they caught sight of Naruto seated near the back despite the unspoken question on nearly every face. He chuckled at the confused stares from a few that clearly didn't recognize him without his trademark orange jumpsuit. Sometimes a fresh start was a good thing.

Shikamaru, straggling in with Choji ten seconds before eight, made a beeline for the desk in front of the couple where he promptly laid his forehead on its flat surface. At exactly eight o'clock, he began snoring much to Naruto's amusement. It was because he, Hinata, and Choji were laughing that they missed Iruka's limping entrance but the instructor's weak voice took care of the rest.

"Alright, settle down people." For the first time, the entire class got stone still as happy faces took in the mostly-healthy Chunin instructor. "I can't yell today so I need you to listen closely." Moving slowly, he sat along the front edge of his desk and lifted a clipboard as he prepared to kick things off.

"On the doctor's orders, I can't speak too long but I do want to say thank you to everyone that came to visit me in the hospital. I also want to congratulate you all on graduating and wish you the best in your upcoming careers." He coughed, the discomfort on his face apparent as one hand shot to his mouth, before standing straight and looking up to lock eyes with Naruto.

"Most of all, I want to thank you, Naruto, for doing what was right and going out of your way to save the life of someone dear to me and the Ichiraku family. Your actions bring honor to shinobi everywhere." He bowed his head despite the flush of peaked paleness across his face before retaking his seat. Naruto, on the other hand, nodded briefly but didn't rise, smile or show any other emotion. He figured everyone else currently gaping in the class would make up for it, particularly the angry emo king trying to ignore his mob of fangirls.

"Now, let's take a look at what you all came here for. Team 1 will be…"

~III~

Asuma motioned for Team 10 to follow him and turned without another word. He wasn't happy, not happy at all. Once outside, his hands took on a life of their own, one smacking the fresh pack of cigarettes against the meaty palm of another as his brow wrinkled up in concentration.

' _I was supposed to get the Ino-Shika-Cho combo for this generation. What the fuck, dad?'_ Flipping open the pack's lid, he jammed a cig between his lips before stuffing the remaining back into his vest pocket. Looking over his right shoulder to make sure they were following along, Asuma (too impatient to fish out his lighter) flicked a flame at the end of his finger blazing life into his addictive source of calm. Hot on his heels was the ever stoic Shikamaru Nara, and extremely annoyed Ino Yamanaka, and the ice-like Naruto Uzumaki.

Choji had been traded to Kakashi's team and that announcement rankled his nerves to no end. Apparently, this Uzumaki was supposed to fit the bill of a heavy hitter with the added bonus of being his class's top dog in stealth and infiltration. After arguing to the best of his ability, the Hokage refused to budge saying that this was the agreed upon path forward and he had to suck it up like the professional he was.

Asuma wasn't blind. He was aware of the boy's pranking history and the seventy-five "alleged" infiltrations against the ANBU touted highly the boy's skill, especially when most of those ended in chases having ANBU turning out empty-handed. The fact that he broke into the Hokage's office, successfully stole the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, and _would_ have gotten away Scott-free if not for a freak discovery after hours by the Hokage himself, also spoke highly of his capability to plan and execute. Hell, he even took out the old man _and_ his ANBU body guard and escaped capture without a scratch. The kid was good, but powerful? He didn't get that vibe.

You couldn't have it all. It was an inviolate law of nature.

Taking two deep pulls, Asuma's head shot up towards the clouds as he forced the smoke-laden air from his lungs. _'Crap!'_

"Um, sensei?" His eyes dropped to see that his students were looking up to him expectantly, but his eyes narrowed again once they landed on the Uzumaki. This time, the boy's eyes caught it and drew down to near slits. He was angry? Offended? Good! He wasn't the only one and Asuma didn't care that he was being petulant towards a child, no, scratch that - a soldier. The boy was now, in the eyes of his village, old enough to die for it. Asuma had a point to prove and he knew the _old man_ would be watching.

Knowing he should be the grownup (and not caring that he wasn't), Asuma gave in to his more juvenile impulses and barked out, "Training Area Ten. Fifteen minutes. Don't be late." Then he was gone in a swirl of cigarette smoke.

~III~

Ino's jaw dropped open. Their sensei was clearly ticked at them and they hadn't even exchanged names or anything. Her eyebrows knitted together, then she whirled on the scraggly blond behind her.

"This is all _your_ fault, Uzumaki! You had better not-!" She never got to finish her diatribe as the spiky-headed blond brushed right past her.

Naruto just walked by her mid rant with a bored expression on his face, which stopped her faster than actively trying to shout her down. Shikamaru took note, filed it away under _"Tactics for Troublesome Blonds,"_ then promptly did the same.

By the time the three of them made it to Area Ten, Ino had settled into an angry simmer having given up trying to berate her "teammate" into some semblance of a functional shinobi. It didn't do much to help Asuma's mood either as they arrive with barely a handful of seconds to spare.

"Cutting it close, aren't you?" Naruto was appropriately affronted.

"You said fifteen minutes," the short-haired blond retorted. "If that's not what you meant, then you should have given another time limit." It was delivered without emotion or witty banter. He just didn't care, and it showed. Asuma had set the tone and he was happy to meet him half way, or blatantly reciprocate in kind.

This only proceeded to enrage the former Guardian even more.

The Jounin pointed to the clan kids then pointed off to the side by a rather healthy-sized tree. Ino smirked looking forward to the pending beat down but Shikamaru paused cutting a stern look at the older shinobi. Asuma merely lifted an eyebrow in challenge, which prompted a brief stare down, before the testy genius joined the group's sole kunoichi. Once they were situated, Asuma motioned for the orphan to join him out in the field as he smashed his dead cig under a sandaled heel.

"I'm supposed to test all three of you, but I know what they can do." He toggled his head towards the two shinobi off to the side. "You're the unknown but we're going to sort you out right quick."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, his hands hanging loosely at his sides, the metal on his left appendage crinkling softly as it flexed open and closed. _'Well, it was fun while it lasted.'_

Shaking out his shoulders, he dropped his jacket off to the side revealing the extra long punch daggers crossed in his lower back. Reaching up to touch his chest, he channeled a burst of chakra in a short three-burst pattern and sighed happily as the extra weight on his body fell away, all of which was noticed by the sour-faced Jounin staring him down.

Might as well go all out just this once. He glanced up once the disgruntled teacher started yapping his gums again.

"Simple rules, Naruto. Impress me and stay. Taijutsu only, since I don't want to kill you," he paused just enough to make it sound like a sick joke, "…intentionally. Prove to me you have what it takes to be the muscle on this team over the guy that was supposed to be here otherwise I'm sending you, and only you, back to the academy to pick up another team next year." His only answer was a growl before Naruto bent his knees, brought up his fists into a guard, then started closing the distance to the man that was supposed to be his Jounin instructor.

 _"Ding! Ding!"_ the Genin whispered softly.

Asuma smirked and brought up his own hands, palms loosely open to protect his face. Under other circumstances, he might have grown to like the kid.

 **~ Fifty Yards Off to the Side in a Nearby Tree Branch ~**

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed dangerously. _'What is this jackass doing?'_ His hand tightened on the branch he was holding to steady himself while looking through his spyglass and the bark splintered. _'I'll kill that asshole!'_

~III~

Now, Naruto wasn't arrogant enough to believe he could take a Jounin single-handedly. He had very little in the way of experience (other than brawling in the streets against non-shinobi), useful skills, and had been actively trying to build upon his meager combat proficiency for just under two weeks. Nope, he fully expected to have his ass handed back to him as a thoroughly abused rag doll, but he'd be damned if he didn't get his licks in. Why not? He was also expecting to be sent packing for another team by the end of the day anyway so might as well enjoy the chance and go "full brawler" mode.

His taijutsu was a training montage to every cheesy martial art flick he could find, from the campy shaolin monk films to the more exotic fly-by-wire Gung Fu dioramas. His all-time personal favorites were three western films depicting a western vampire hunter and his trusty-white-haired father figure/mentor. This anti-hero's fighting style was a combination commando-boxing-martial combative form just screaming street fighter, something that resonated with the self-proclaimed savior of Konoha in his earlier (and more naïve) days. With the help of clones and whatever reference he could find from the library or Konoha's media stores, the fighting fanatic spent good chunks of time over the pre-team assignment window fine tuning his fighting by focusing on execution, timing and finesse.

Two weeks wasn't a lot of time, but he'd come a long way with the help of a few dozen of his closest friends every morning after his workouts. Now he was going to get his first real test run, and the excitement made him grin wide, his pronounced canines making the three shinobi in the training area with him blink in shock.

He looked truly psychotic and absolutely animalistic. Ino's face flushed but she tried to hide it as the two combatants matched up.

Closing the gap, Naruto feinted a lunge and Asuma figured he would teach an early lesson in humility by rapping his knuckles across the boy's forehead to teach him a little patience. When Naruto instead kept lunging and ducked down to one knee, his metal hand smashing atop Asuma's extended - and slightly bent - left knee, Asuma's body reacted instantly bending him forward at the waist as the leg locked out. The bend of his upper body dropped his chin just enough for the Genin to surge to his feet and shoot a chakra-fueled uppercut around the Jounin's still outstretched right straight hand and directly into the Asuma's chin, rocking the man back a few hopping-stuttering steps.

Naruto was so shocked that he connected early on that he failed to follow up on the surprised shinobi possibly costing himself the match. Shrugging it off, the youth tucked his chin in near his chest, drew up his fists again and bounced his way closer to the older man still shaking loose the cobwebs crossing his eyes.

' _Damn, he hits hard!'_ Asuma kept moving until his vision stopped blurring, his body forcing chakra to counteract the rest of the shock to his equilibrium. If he hadn't started reinforcing his body after that first punch, he might have been kissing dirt. _"That settles it. No more underestimating him.'_ With grim determination, the younger Sarutobi reset his stance and stepped back in to continue the fight.

Responses of the people taking in the fight were varied.

Shikamaru's face hadn't changed but inside he was shocked. First off, he had no idea what Asuma was up to. His father had spoken highly of the potential line up of instructors the night before, including the younger Sarutobi. This whole exhibition went completely against the pre-conceived image in his mind. Try to cloud the issue all you wanted under "Naruto needing to be stronger for being the group heavy hitter," but he could see there was more behind this than petty childishness. Their instructor was overreacting, and he wanted to know why. Shikamaru hated puzzles he couldn't solve.

Ino was stunned. She was having a hard enough time adjusting to the fact that "somber Naruto" was temptingly hot, something reinforced when he removed the jacket showing off his clingy tee. The fact that he was leaner than she remembered, roguishly handsome – especially with that snarling grin of his, and a surprisingly good fighter only proceeded to confuse her more. Where was all this in the academy? Well, okay she admitted he was one of the better taijutsu students even then but where was all this other… _goodness_?

Jiraiya's hand clamped down harder on the branch snapping the defenseless thing in half.

Back in his office, three faces huddled around the scrying orb while the Sandaime channeled his [ _Toomegane no Jutsu_ ] showing them all the battle taking place. The two purple-headed women scowled angrily, one enjoying the pop Asuma took to the chin even though she knew Naruto had little chance of ending the fight victorious (she would make the young Sarutobi bastard pay for it later, somehow). The older Sarutobi clucked his tongue in disappointment before looking up to the mesh-wearing woman with an idea.

"Anko-chan," Mitarashi glanced up in surprise, "how would you like to help me teach my son a lesson after this travesty?" Her interest turned into sadistic pleasure, her vindictive gaze returning to the orb with a happy nod and a happily hissed "hell yeah!" through a tightly clenched jaw.

Back on the field, the two combatants squared off hoping to knock the other down a peg or three.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

* * *

 **[Rank E] Ninpou: Kinobori no Waza (Act of Tree Climbing):** Kinobori no Waza, the art of tree climbing serves a dual purpose. Taking part in Kinobori Shugyou (Tree Climbing Training) helps a ninja learn how to focus their chakra. It also teaches the ninja how to run up trees and walk on vertical walls. The training helps the ninja learn how to focus just the right amount of chakra to a particular part of their body. The amount needed to climb is small, but it must be precise. The feet are regarded as the hardest location to master chakra focusing. So, by gaining the art of this skill, the ninja will have any jutsu available (theoretically) because they will be able to focus their chakra as needed.

 **[Rank E] Ninpou: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Change of Body Stance Technique):** Kawarimi no Jutsu is a basic Ninjutsu technique. When in danger the ninja will quickly substitute themself with another nearby object. This can be a block of wood or even another person. This allows the ninja to quickly flee and hide while the original object takes the brunt of their opponent's attack.

 **[C-Rank] Kagemane no Jutsu (The Art of Me-and-My-Shadow):** Literally "Shadow Imitation Technique"; The user's shadow is extended to the opponent's shadow, combining them. This puts the attacker in control of the target's movements- the target is forced to make any movement the user makes. It is an extremely versatile technique. Given enough talent, the shadow can contract and change shape, and even get ahold of several targets at once. The shadow can also be connected with the shadows of other objects to extend its range. Shikamaru can only hold the jutsu for about 5 minutes.  
Kagemane no Jutsu used to be called Kage Shibari no Jutsu. The name also suggests that in the past, the technique could only hold targets in place and not force them to copy the user's movements.

 **[B-Rank] Kage Atsuryoku Yashi Gijutsu (Shadow Crushing Palm Technique):** I raised the ranking of this jutsu due to its direct combat application. The user extends and enlarges the shadow of his palm generating one large enough to grasp, detain, and crush their opponent. Its effects and range can both be increased when used in conjunction with flashbombs (cast directly behind the user) strengthening, or creating when none are available, the shadows of the caster. This is a medium ranges jutsu without the use of flashbombs but reaches no more than 20m (twice the range) with them.

 **[B-Rank] Ninpou: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique):** Figured I should put this in here at least once despite the fact that Naruto spams it like air freshener;Kage Bunshin is a Jounin level Ninjutsu technique. When Naruto stole the scroll of seals, he borrowed this technique along with a few others. The normal Bunshin technique creates a copy of the ninja that lacks any substance. The Kage Bunshin distributes the ninja's chakra evenly among the clones and creates a real copy with form and substance. The clone itself can also utilize any jutsu the original ninja knows. When the clone finally disperses, any new knowledge it has gained is passed back to the original ninja and any additional clones. This makes Kage Bunshin an excellent training method if the ninja has the chakra capacity and stamina to maintain the Kage Bunshins for an extended period of time. This allows the ninja to essentially reduce the time it takes to train and learn with each clone added. This is especially true when used with _Tajuu Kage Bunshin_ [A-Rank Kinjutsu due to heavy chakra requirements], an advanced version allowing creation of larger numbers of clones.

 **[A-Rank] Tōmegane no Jutsu (Telescope Technique):** Tōmegane no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilized by the Third Hokage. Using a crystal ball, the Hokage is able to view events transpiring around Leaf Village.

~III~


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I love it when angry people message me then block me so I can't respond to their temper tantrum. Sigh, that means I have to do something I don't like doing and that's respond so that our angry little visitor is aware that rude keyboard commandos won't be tolerated.

For the rest of you that I actually respond to constructively, I will not sully our productive conversations during this repartee and ask your forgiveness while I deal with the unwanted interruption. Who knows, in the off-chance that someone else may actually have thoughts similar to this brave soul, I will include this one-time response since I cannot answer them keyboard-to-keyboard. For the person in question, and you know who you are, I respectfully submit the following responses to your… not-as-equally-constructive… feedback?

First and foremost, I have no need to pad my words. My chapters average between 7K – 9K of actual story content. On the rare low end, they're about 5K, and on the high end, between 19-20K. I write until I feel the major issues of the chapter in question have been resolved – unless I intend to stretch it out over several (intentional) chapters.

To your second point, it's useless drivel to you because it's not intended for you. It never was. I use this section to answer the most frequently asked questions by people that take the time to read my work and appreciate the process. We may not always agree on the end product, but it's a group discussion as the answers, while directed at one or two specific people, are compilations including input from several others with the same or similar question. Your unruly behavior, and attitude, tell me that you've not (and probably will not) be featured here at the beginning.

Don't like this section? I have included a handy bracketed header identifying "Chapter Blah Blah Blah" that's easy for you find. Skip ahead to it. Not up to a quick refresher of the previous chapter? That section has a handy section break. Skip ahead.

Finally, and most importantly, I don't write for people like you. I write for myself and this is a cathartic process for a reason. While I am humbled that anyone would be remotely interested in my work (I've repeatedly stated that I'm not the best writer and far from it), I am not motivated to change my writing style. Not for people like you.

I must therefore remain "disinclined to acquiesce to your request."

Thank you for your consideration. For the rest of you that have patiently either read or skipped through this 439-word personal message…

…Back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **A/N: Updated Feb 22, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto. Never owned** _ **The Good Place.**_ (Jason is hilarious though)

* * *

 _ **Chapter 8: Troubled Bridges Over Deep Waters**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

 _Back in his office, three faces huddled around the scrying orb while the Sandaime channeled his [Toomegane no Jutsu] showing them all the battle taking place. The two purple-headed women scowled angrily, one enjoying the pop Asuma took to the chin even though she knew Naruto had little chance of ending the fight victorious (she would make the young Sarutobi bastard pay for it later, somehow). The older Sarutobi clucked his tongue in disappointment before looking up to the mesh-wearing woman with an idea._

 _"Anko-chan," Mitarashi glanced up in surprise, "how would you like to help me teach my son a lesson after this travesty?" Her interest turned into sadistic pleasure, her vindictive gaze returning to the orb with a happy nod and a happily hissed "hell yeah!" through a tightly clenched jaw._

 _Back on the field, the two combatants squared off hoping to knock the other down a peg or three._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Monday Morning, Week 3: Training Area Ten ~**

On a sunny Monday morning, two fighters stood across from each other trying to worm their way into their opponent's brain. The older and much taller one was trying to psyche the younger and smaller one out, nudge him a bit off his game as it were. The younger one was trying to figure out how he was going to survive the upcoming bout. Both were rocking back and forth alternating their body weight from the toes of their lead foot, both using their left to lead, and the heel of their trailing foot while a handful of spectators waited with bated breath for the inevitable charge.

Neither combatant was of the mind to concede defeat and that was shortly going to be problematic for at least one of them.

Asuma Sarutobi, an accomplished Jounin shinobi with a still-developing yet distinguished career, was descendant of the proud Sarutobi Clan and of impressive lineage. Born of Biwako and Hiruzen Sarutobi, the youngest son struck out early to rise from the impressive shadow of his father, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato, also known as the God of Shinobi. Not an easy task in and of itself if you know your Kage lore, but Asuma was off to a good start serving with distinction directly under the Daimyo of Hi no Kuni as one of the legendary Twelve Guardian Ninja. Once again in his home village, he was looking to continue his personal legacy by teaching the next generation Ino-Shika-Cho Genin team. Fate, it would seem, had other plans and that brought him to the current moment in time. Sizing up his pint-sized sparring partner, Asuma began wondering how he'd abandoned his normally laid-back demeanor in monstrous fashion, all so he could pick a fight with a fifteen-year-old Genin. He was unbelievably disgusted with himself but too far gone to turn back now.

Asuma wasn't the only one disgusted with himself.

' _I gave that combo everything I had, and it barely fazed him!'_ Naruto was silently berating his hesitation yet doing a marvelous job of covering it up with a fanged sneer and butt-loads of confidence. Frankly, the fact that it connected at all made this whole mess worth it. Not many Genin could claim a smack up on their Jounin sensei within thirty minutes of meeting them, even if it would probably cost him a few teeth in return. Cracking the knuckles of both hands, Naruto settled into a solid stance-left foot forward, hunched shoulders in defense, and a chin lowered enough that it nearly disappeared. With the element of surprise gone, his back up plan was to survive and maybe get a parting shot or two. _'Go down swinging, dattebayo!'_

He was staring at the taller shinobi as if nothing else mattered, focusing all the concentration his scattered thoughts could muster and everything else began to slow down, the world around him coming to a crawl. For a second, just a fraction of a heartbeat, Asuma's frame began to blur, his face fading to an inky blackness as something blue started glowing near the man's gut. It began as a misty ball of pulsating smoke swirling in a spiral before the image started growing sharper and small sparks were seen shooting out of it in random directions. Sometimes the sparks were blue, sometimes they were white and smoky. The longer he stared, the clearer the spiral became until he could discern a second color at the very center of it, more of that misty white smoke at its core.

~III~

Kyuubi, watching through the boy's own vision grew very, very interested. **"Seennnnssssooooooorrrrrrrrr…"** he hissed out, his bored demeanor dimming but not fading, not yet.

"Huh? What? Did you say something?" The red-headed henge had his noggin canted to the side trying to observe what was going on through his link to the vessel through the seal.

" **Nothing of interest, Namikaze. Just watch the show and leave me be.** "The perpetually-sour fleabag grinned to himself.

~III~

Then a leaf fluttered between them at a snail's pace, all sound dying out to leave only the rustling of its drying husk as it struck the earth between two coiled figures, the ball of blue flames evaporating before his eyes as the world came back into crystal-clear focus.

They charged one another, Naruto immediately being forced on to the defensive as the taller man's fist shot out in a cross. Giving up half a meter in reach, the younger lad did the only thing he could do: he dodged while bringing a fist up to block the crushing fist.

As a fighting style, Naruto's combative art, as previously described in Frankensteinian perspectives, was good for little other than brawling. It was, however, compact in application and supported his body type perfectly in execution.

With limited effort, he pushed chakra to his arm similar to when he leapt from roof to roof and stepped in to the punch allowing the higher fist to slide along the back of his metal gauntlet. Even with extra chakra in his arms, the blow shook his body and made him grunt, his knees buckling for a moment and throwing off his timing for a counter. _'This is the strength of a Jounin?'_

Abandoning his initial gut reaction, and feeling the bruise forming on his shoulder where the massive knuckle clipped him, Naruto changed tactics as the second fist, the left one, shot out his way forcing him to lean to his right and outside of the blow. His palm lightly brushed Asuma's arm, from the wrist to the tricep, as he stepped in and delivered a straight punch to the taller man's small ribs. At least he tried to.

Asuma pulled his follow up and slipped his right palm in the way catching the blow meant for his diaphragm with the solid _whap!_ of metal to flesh. Drawing in his extended left arm, the Jounin delivered a punishing elbow strike to the Genin's shoulder hoping to break it or dislocate it. A heavy grunt told him the blow was solid but the scream he was expecting never came.

' _He's tough at least, give him that much.'_ Stepping around behind the boy with his right foot, he looked to end the fight with another punishing elbow, this time an elbow smash with his right arm streaked to the back of the boy's neck.

Naruto opted to tuck into a forward roll, planted his feet to stand, then twist about to reset, his right hand going up to rub the numbness out of his deltoid.

' _Round two goes to the bastard.'_ Grimacing, Naruto hopped lightly from left foot to right foot as he weaved his way back in to fist range. _'This is going to suck.'_

Soon as he closed, fists from above began to rain down from all sides. The Jounin had cranked up his speed just enough to keep him constantly on the move. Not even bothering to block them, Naruto danced and weaved, ducked and bobbed hoping to tire out the older man. He avoided contact whenever he could, lightly brushed aside a blow when he couldn't. He waited patiently. Periodically a blow would slip his guard and catch him in the body, a blow nearly dodged to take the burning sting out of it even if the strike still staggered him back a step or two. Still he waited. So long as one didn't slip his high guard and rob him of his senses, the teen took the occasional body blow and hoped Kyuubi could keep up with the healing. He was biding his time, a smile etching its way onto a corner of his mouth as he saw sweat beginning to work its way down the side of "the bastard's" face.

"What are you _doing?!_ Fight back!" It wasn't the words that shocked him but where they came from that almost made him lose his focus. The Jounin's sharp eye caught the tick and nearly unloaded a sweeping right hook into the Genin's jaw. Instead it ricocheted off the back of Naruto's skull.

" _Tsk!_ So troublesome, woman. Stop distracting him!" Shikamaru was leaning forward in his thinking position as he studied the fight. Beside him, Ino was ducking and weaving, occasionally an elbow coming up in imitation of Naruto's agile fighting style. Sometimes she'd lean to extreme angles hoping to mentally coerce him into matching her insane evasion tactics, often with little success as her frustration continued to build.

"C'mon Shika! He's taking a beating! Don't tell me you're okay watching this happen?!" The Nara's eyebrow shot up as he flung a perturbed glare her way before going back to the action. "He's taking a pounding!" To echo the point, another blow glanced off Naruto's blocking elbow.

The Nara sighed in annoyance and watched as Asuma grabbed Naruto's shirt in both hands, dropped into a backwards roll and kicked the Genin skyward over his head, launching him a half-dozen meters into the air. Naruto tucked while airborne and landed roughly on his feet stumbling forward before gaining control again and bobbing his way back into the thick of it.

He was bruised.

He was bloody.

He was barely holding onto his calm.

But he was still fighting. They guy had impressive stamina and he was grinning like a psychopath.

"He's trying to wear down the larger and more powerful opponent by forcing him to expend more energy to land a blow. Your outbursts are distracting him and every time you do, he takes another hit he could have deflected or avoided. So, do us both a favor and keep it down so he can focus." Naruto barely dodge a front snap kick from the taller shinobi.

Ino sucked on her teeth, her face blossoming a lovely shade of embarrassed pink, before diving back into her role ringside as fight coach through interpretive dance. Another blow from Asuma bruised the right side of Naruto's ribs and she cringed from sympathetic pains.

Asuma stepped in closer and picked up the pace a bit. The kid was good. He had to admit, the clearly untrained fighter was a lot better than he thought based on his school records and this was without weapons or jutsu. Still, it wouldn't be enough. He hadn't pushed him enough, yet.

"Trying to wear me down, aren't you?" he whispered out. "Nice try kid, but we trained for hours at a time in the capital. I give you an 'A' for strategy against a bigger opponent though. You played it smart but fell short in the end." Then he laughed, a heartless chuckle as he gave the blond some space, just enough space to let the message sink in.

Sink in it did. Naruto's pupils contracted to near dots. Then those same eyes compressed into a vicious scowl as his fists, which had dropped to his sides in shock, came back up to lock onto either side of his jaw. Then he charged straight in as fast as his legs could take him and started reigning blows anywhere he could reach.

Asuma dodged the first couple and replied with punishing blows to the boy's chest, stomach, and face. None of them appeared to affect him. Battered and bloody, the crazed Genin unloaded a blow straight into Asuma's gut at the exact time he took a blow to his own midsection, which probably kept him from being dropped by the following blow to his jaw as it was enough to disrupt the stronger shinobi's breath. That lowered the power of the next tactical strike giving the Kyuubi vessel the opportunity to land a second blow directly to Asuma's solar plexus. It wasn't by choice; it was the highest he could reach with a straight punch, his strongest attack.

The last punch to the center of Asuma's chest staggered him backwards for a second but the now furious Genin hopeful roared to clear the cobwebs and lunged yet again. This was a problem for Asuma as he was having a difficult time, even with chakra flooding his system, with regulating his breathing. It felt like the air had literally been blown from his lungs and his body wasn't responding in the face of the continued assault. Like any rational person faced with a lot of imminent pain, adrenaline took over quickly followed by reflex and the reflexes of a seasoned Jounin can be deadly for others.

Asuma's right hand shot behind his waist, drew out one of his punch knives, then slashed the charging berserker from left hip to right pec. Blood spurted everywhere, and curses flew aplenty, mostly from the hissing, spitting, and yelling blond.

For everyone else watching, time seemed to stop. They saw the arc of red liquid, the graceful spray of drops as they sailed through the clear late morning sun. They saw the light reflect from the well-polished chakra metal forming Asuma's punch knife, the keen edge decorated with a thin blood-red film. Four pairs of eyes shot to the bleeding Genin to see if he was dead, dying or crippled.

Naruto was standing, his hands trying to hold his parted skin together while Kyuubi surged enough chakra to begin closing the wounds. Asuma's saucer-sized peepers kept bouncing from the wound sealing itself shut before his eyes to the still-azure blue eyes of the kid he'd gutted hoping they weren't becoming red marbles. Instead he saw something worse.

"First to throw out the rules, sensei? Fine. We'll do it your way." The Genin brought up his hands into a single seal and roared, "[ _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!_ ]"

Asuma lost track of the popping sounds echoing throughout the training ground and understood why as the individual wisps were carried off collectively by the steady breeze wafting through clearing. When the smoke finally cleared, over a hundred angry blonds were glaring in his direction. Then they all drew out wicked looking punch knives very similar to his own only the kunai blades were half-again longer than the gently curving weapon still dripping blood at the end of his arm.

"Oh, dip!" Ino's exclamation actually broke Shikamaru out of his shocked stare as he raised an inquisitive eyebrow in her direction. The Hokage had a much different reaction.

"Go! End this! Now!" Yugao and Anko both vanished in a [ _Body Flicker_ ] then streaked off along the rooftops of Konoha hoping they would get there in time.

Asuma's eyes closed briefly as he muttered out a curse under his breath. Then the clones charged pell-mell and he was going full out trying to dispel them as quickly as possible before he got overrun.

Three down.

He took a blade to the left thigh and swore again.

Ten down and they kept coming. He pushed chakra to his punch knife shrouding the blade in _Fūton_ energy and extending its range.

One slashed across his back.

' _That's sixteen!'_

One just stabbed him in the right thigh and another sliced the back of his left calf. They were hamstringing him like hunters stalking a deer.

Twenty-Five.

One just stabbed him in the side.

His life flashed before his eyes. Morosely, he found the ending mundane and disappointing. Charging the knife in his hand with more wind chakra, Asuma threw it through a batch of clones and a nearby tree before it dropped to the ground. While clones were scattering, he clenched his jaw fighting through the pain of his wounds and dashed in the wake of his weapon giving himself a little breathing room to spin, lift his left hand in to a half-ram seal while lowering his right hand with the palm parallel to the ground.

Jiraiya, who was enjoying Naruto's dissection of the bigger Jounin, suddenly grew concerned and leaped from the tree he'd been hiding in knowing it was too late to make a difference.

Asuma's body began to glow, the light pulsing up and out taking on the shape of a sitting Buddha hoisting many, many, many arms.

The clones gripped their knives and charged alongside the original with a mighty roar.

"[ _Welcoming Approach: Thousand-Armed Murder!_ ]," Asuma calmly chanted out, the ghostly figure surrounding him pulsing once before the phalanx of arms began to shoot out in seemingly random directions. Turns out they weren't flying randomly; they were targeting clones in the air and on the ground. The staccato of their popping bodies sounded like popcorn at a Princess Gale movie.

Somewhere in the rapid dying of clones, three solid thuds sounded out and an unconscious Naruto Uzumaki fell to the earth hard enough to crater it while an exhausted Asuma Sarutobi looked on hoping to hell he was really knocked out.

Turning around to retrieve his knife, every bone popping and aching as blood flowed freely from his wounds, the Jounin straightened up looking for the broken body of his soon-to-be student only to come face-to-face with the _Gama Sannin_. To the younger Sarutobi, the sage did not look pleased.

"Oh, Dip," was all he could mumble out at the moment. It seemed appropriate anyway as he'd really dipped his foot in something shitty.

The older white-haired man cracked his neck once, then twice before leveling an obscene amount of killing intent at the Jounin making his knees buckle and fold.

"So, tell me how you want to die today, Sarutobi." Asuma gulped at the not-question before two angry women landed on his back knocking him face-first to the earth. Fortunately, he lacked the energy to fight back because they most likely saved him from the Toad Sage claiming the Hokage wanted him in the Tower immediately.

No one moved as they waited to see if the Sannin was going to allow them to leave. When he spun around and gently lifted the blond over one shoulder, both ANBU sighed heavily.

"This isn't over, Asuma," Jiraiya hissed out. "This isn't over by a long shot." In the next blink he was gone followed very quickly by Asuma being escorted away.

Into the moments of silence that followed, Ino clapped her hands together loud enough to startle Shikamaru.

"Well, that was fun!" Smiling large enough to make her eyes disappear, the sparkle-eyed amateur gossip laced her fingers behind her head and sauntered off towards the Market District and home as if she had not a care in the world. Inside, however, her mind was blazing in every direction at once.

Shikamaru shook his head before heading to the southern clan lands and his family home.

"Troublesome. Very troublesome."

~III~

When the swirling dust settled, Jiraiya's eyes focused on the rear service entrance to Konoha General. Gently adjusting the blond passenger across his right shoulder, he strode confidently through the access door in search of his prey past the laborers unloading box after box of medical supplies.

Some waved. Others scowled and warned that he needed to go before they summoned ANBU. Another select batch swooned with flushed cheeks as the thickly-made "shinobi's shinobi" strode boldly through the working zone and into the sterile inner halls without hesitation. Those brave enough, or foolish enough, to challenge him found themselves swatted into the nearest wall in need of medical attention themselves. He was a juggernaut on a mission, the booming rhythm of his geta sandals thundering along hallways lined with smooth teal tiles and fluorescent lights.

As if guided by flashing lights and signs, the imposing master spy met the gaze of a beautiful med nin whose overflowing curves were tightly packed into the snug snow-colored uniform behind the nurse's station.

"What did you break this time, Jiraiya-sama?" she almost purred out not even glancing up from a patient's folder. Without missing a beat, he reached down to place two fingers under her dainty chin tilting her face upwards, so he could look into her amber-colored pearls. As her eyes landed on the bleeding orphan slung over his shoulder, one of his fingers pressed to her quickly opening lips. With a silent nod, Nurse Otoha rose from the desk station beckoning Jiraiya to follow her into an ER station where she snapped the curtains closed, one hand already glowing green with _Iryō_ chakra.

As she cut away the rest of his destroyed tee shirt to begin her evaluation, the pretty nurse glanced worriedly up at the Sannin with a clear question in her eyes.

"Yes, the guy that did this is going to answer for it, but _this boy_ comes first." She nodded, her determination rising to the surface as her eyes flicked back down a groaning Naruto.

"I'm going to need you to stay the whole night this time, Jiraiya-sama." She didn't blush, nor did she look away from the boy under her care.

Jiraiya's predatory grin nearly swallowed his entire face.

~III~

Asuma landed rather roughly into the chair directly across from an extremely displeased Sandaime Hokage, his posture radiating extreme discomfort. He was hoping to swing by the hospital to seek medical attention for the wounds littering his body but the rather angry women apprehending him had other plans evidently. If he wasn't leaking his body's life fluid all over the place, he might have had the energy to lose them and go himself.

"Tch!" he groused defiantly. Anko raised an eyebrow and scowled at him.

"What was that, _smokestack?!_ " Asuma clucked his teeth again. He hated that nickname.

Anko slapped him across the back of his head then went to stand along the far wall next to Yugao to watch the show. Noticing their "minimum safe" distance, he turned to the Hokage and tried to put on a blinding smile.

"Uh, hiya pops!" Hiruzen's eyes narrowing was the only response he got for a few minutes. "Look, I can explain everything."

 ** _Twenty Minutes of Really Slick Talking Later…_**

"Enough. I've heard enough." Hiruzen sounded too exhausted to believe the load of bull his son was spewing. "Perhaps I was too hasty in giving you your own Genin team so soon after your return."

Asuma leapt from the wooden chair, his hands slapping down onto the desk in sheer terror of the next set of words that might come from his father's mouth. _'No, I worked too hard to get here and lose it all!'_

"Tell me what you need from me to prove that I'm ready, fa-… Hokage-sama!" Hiruzen blinked. He could count the number of times on one hand his son referred to him by title, usually surrounding some incredibly stubborn decision made moments before. Ignoring the proverbial, "Hold My Beer" moment, his grin shared no warmth with the frantic Jounin.

If anything, Asuma shivered knowing it was either accept his fate or give up until someone else took pity on him. His father forgot nothing and forgave even less, a lesson he should have remembered from seven years ago. His other nickname was "The Professor" for more than one reason.

"You have only one chance to get this right, Asuma." Anko and Yugao rose off the wall gasping, their annoyance cut short by the raised palm of their Hokage even as Asuma began smiling. "In order to make sure you get it right, I'm placing an observer over you to observe and… intervene… if necessary. You will answer to them, and they will answer to me. If they countermand you, you may consider it as if those words had come from my mouth. Am I clear, Sarutobi?"

Asuma's smile had begun to fade but this didn't sound too bad so far. "And the observer?" he asked timidly.

Hiruzen looked over his shoulder and smiled, the sight forcing Asuma's eyes involuntarily closed and a curse slipped out before he could restrain it.

"Kuso!"

"Oh, Anko-chan…"

~III~

Naruto stomped his feet in the rust-tinted water flowing steadily down the dimly lit hallway leading away from the cage.

"I am not weak! That guy was a Jounin for crap's sake!"

" _ **AND?!**_ **"** Kyuubi appeared to be unimpressed as he continued to give Naruto shit for losing the fight.

"He's been at this shinobi stuff forever! It's going to take me time to catch up and pass him!" The great behemoth seemed singularly unimpressed.

" **Not my concern meat sack. You want my help? Then you need to earn it and, as of right now, your credit ledger only has chump change in it."** The tiny human folded his arms over his chest and huffed at the condescending mass of chakra. **"Call me when you have something. Until then, this is all I will do for you, now, get out and let me sleep."**

Naruto glared hatefully at the fox before winking out of sight. As far as he was concerned, this conversation was not over. Hell-to-the-no it wasn't over.

Still cross from the frustrating mindscape conversation (there were times that he preferred if the damned fox stayed silent), Naruto grimaced at the harsh light pounding on his brain, the uncomfortable bed, and the smell of overpowered sanitizers.

' _Damnit! Not here again. Need to play it cool until I can escape.'_ Opening one eye to the sound of voices arguing, all plans of escaping fled his fevered brain as he saw the same white-haired codger arguing with what appeared to be two robe-wearing frogs standing at the foot of his bed. The frogs were telling him that what he was asking had only been allowed once before among the _Gama_ and nothing could be confirmed until the _Umihebi_ approved it first.

 _'Sea... snakes?_ _Sea-serpents?!'_ His mind was debating the possibility of mythical water monsters as being argued by a foot-tall talking frog. What was next? Singing pigs?

The white-haired frog, something that unhinged his jaw open wide, was throwing around big words like "eminent domain" and "sovereign rights," things that made his head hurt not because he didn't understand them but because he could follow the conversation (now that Chishiki had been reintegrated) and these _Umihebi_ sounded powerful, whoever they were. They also sounded temperamental.

A very soft-skinned hand reached over and closed his mouth snapping Naruto out of his funk, his head whipping to the left of his bed to meet the smiling gaze of Nurse Otoha. His voice sounded like he'd swallowed one of those toads as he greeted her, but her presence relaxed him and by Kami she was gorgeous in that sexy role-playing fashion the old guy sometimes giggled about.

She was the only nurse he trusted, with good reason, since she was the only nurse that hadn't tried to poison him, yet. How the old pervert knew her was a surprise, but he'd worry about that later. The toads? … frogs? They drew him back to the foot of the bed.

"No promises, Jiraiya-boy. We'll present your request to the Great Sage and allow him to decree from Myōboku."

"Please hurry, Pa. I have to leave Konoha soon and I'd rather not leave him all alone again." They clapped their hands, paws, flippers (whatever they were) together and vanished in two puffs of smoke, Jiraiya's face twisting up in thought before noticing the now wide-awake Naruto.

"Hey, Gaki! How ya feelin'?" The boy groaned even as he tried to sit up a bit more.

"Like I got hit by the women that beat you at the hot springs when you go peeping." Jiraiya tried to chuckle it away despite the cold stare coming from the nurse.

"You can joke so you must be feeling better." Truthfully, he looked better but didn't feel it. "Good, you're going to get a second chance tomorrow."

Naruto's jaw flew open again only for the giggling nurse to catch and close it once more.

~III~

"What?! You _can't_ be serious!?" Despite how dramatic Asuma's outburst, the Hokage was in fact deadly serious. He was so serious that the leader was considering time in the brig from Asuma's use of a lethal A-Rank jutsu on a fellow shinobi of the Leaf and informed the animated shinobi under his charge of that very fact.

' _Game.'_

"Shinobi? We were still in the test so technically-."

"You mean to claim that a fresh Genin fighting you to a near standstill days out of the academy doesn't meet your criteria of 'tough enough'?"

' _Set.'_

Well, damn. Old man had a point there. The test objective he gave was to see if the boy was tough enough to fill the sandals meant for Chōji Akimichi. He had in fact blown the seams of young Choji's sandals apart like confetti. "Not like it matters anyway. Jiraiya snatched him up and would probably dismember me if I came anywhere near him now."

"Then it's a good thing he works for me." Hiruzen raised his voice and aimed it over by one of the windows. "Isn't that right, Jiraiya?" Over in the corner indicated, the very unhappy Gama Sannin appeared as if out of thin air.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tear his limbs from his body and mail them to different parts of the nations via shinobi courier?" Hiruzen ignored the question and postulated one of his own.

"How is he?"

"Recovering. His tenant is upholding his side of the arrangement." Asuma was intently studying the floor while his father pressed the Toad Sage further.

"Where is he, by the way?" Jiraiya's dark eyes grew darker still.

"He's safe and he'll stay that way until I decide otherwise." Hiruzen frowned.

"He needs to be part of a team, Jiraiya. He's spent too long by himself." The angry look the younger shinobi cut him could have smashed stone. While the Hokage was all to familiar with the attached argument, he chose to skirt the issue for the moment.

"I'm not leaving him unprotected with this butt-monkey." Asuma's head snapped up in irritation. Evidently, he took the snide comment referencing his familial link to the ape summoning clan seriously. While Hiruzen didn't appreciate the derogatory remark, he understood the rage behind it.

"He won't be." Now this perked his interest. "Team Ten will be the only team with a surrogate sensei. As of today, I'll be assigning a long-term B-Rank mission to _Toukebitsu_ Jounin Anko Mitarashi who will function as an instructor evaluator, her job being to monitor and assess Asuma's fitness for future Jounin-level responsibilities." His eyes hardened as they focused on the (still) bleeding Sarutobi.

"Every time Team Ten meets, she will be there. Every time they train, she will assist (as needed) and supervise (if required). Her primary job is to prevent events like today and, despite the difference in rank, will be the senior instructor in this relationship, answerable only to me. Regardless of Asuma's seniority, he is to abide by her authority. Period. Where additional support is needed, I am to be consulted for final authority." Jiraiya's eyes tightened.

"I like where this is headed but there's no real teeth behind this agreement aside from their honor." He glared at the Jounin. "As far as I've seen, he has very little left."

Hiruzen's grin turned predatory.

"That is why I've added some incentive. For Asuma, failure to abide by the rules and perform _as expected_ of a Jounin shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato leads to reduction in rank back to Genin." Everyone not wearing the coned hat gaped openly. "Apparently, he failed to pick up the basic lessons of loyalty, teamwork, and professionalism and I will make sure that he rematriculates the entire curriculum so as to get it correct the second time through." He turned to Anko.

"For Miss Mitarashi, her performance, monitored first-hand and through frequent reporting, directly determines her future status as a kunoichi. I expect higher standards of integrity from her because she unfortunately falls under greater pressures than any other Konohan save one, male or female. It is only fair that the rewards for that unfair criticality be equally greater. Should she do well, her field promotion will become permanent."

Jiraiya grunted. _'Huh, he used both the carrot and the stick this time. This should be interesting.'_

"Sounds fair enough but I'm going to leave behind a little something to help him out when Anko-chan can't be with him." Hiruzen's eyebrows peaked in curiosity.

"And that would be…?"

"Should the elder sages agree, I plan to leave him with a personal summon from Mount Myōboku."

"Oh?" Such a simple word with incredible versatility when used by a master.

"Yes, Gamaken's little brother should do nicely for this." Hiruzen nearly fell from his chair.

"You don't mean…" Jiraiya was smiling a bit too much as he walked back to the window, his hand on the ledge.

"I do. I am planning to introduce him to the Iron Battletoad. It's time _he_ got a chance to stretch his legs." With that, the Toad Sage of Mount Myōboku exploded into a puff of smoke captured by the late morning Konoha breeze.

"Asuma," Hiruzen turned his attention back to his weary-looking son. "You're getting a second chance not normally given to those charged with the development of the next generation. You will not get a third."

' _Match.'_

~III~

Message scrolls were delivered by ANBU later that Monday afternoon to the parents of Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka. A similar message was personally handed to Naruto by the purple-haired _Neko_. The difference?

Instead of giving a simple meeting location and time two days from now for Team Ten, his spelled out specifically why he needed to be there and who would be there to help prevent a repeat of the morning's events. It was also a request from the Hokage to give it another go, just one more chance for the old man's sake.

It was a request for a personal favor. If it didn't work, the Hokage would either find him another team of Genin or someone to take him on as an apprentice.

With that in mind, he found himself on a cool Wednesday morning standing at the same training ground waiting for the same team members to show up. The entire time he waited for them, Naruto kicked himself mentally expecting the same results just so he could tell the old man, "See? I told you so."

This time, instead of risking what few items of personal clothing he'd managed to acquire, he wore what would become his standard shinobi uniform. Dark gray/nearly black trousers taped at the ankles despite the full combat boots protecting his feet (one of his clones had stabbed that prick sensei in the foot and he wanted to avoid a similar fate if at all possible) started his ensemble. A black tee shirt hid snugly under a waist-length grey jacket with black shoulders and sleeves, the latter outfitted with the same snaps to hold his hitai-ite firmly in place across the right bicep, covered his upper half. This arrangement left his hair free to hang in his eyes, but it was a small price to pay since he could never get the thing to stay on his head during hard training sessions with the clones. His specially-modified holsters hugged his thighs and both belt satchels traveled with him all of the time now. He'd also taken to wearing one fingerless glove on his right hand since he wore his battle bracer on his left. He was as set as he was going to be.

Reaching into the inner pocket of his jacket, he withdrew the Toad Sage's hastily scrawled missive to reread while killing time.

" _Gaki,_

" _While I can't be there to help keep an eye on you, the Toads of Mount Myoboku have conditionally agreed to grant you a personal summons. Whether you get to keep them depends entirely on you. Now, before you get your head so swollen you can't find a seat at your favorite noodle stand…"_ Naruto nearly swore at his blatant disrespect to the chosen food of all Kami, _"a personal summons isn't a full-blown summoning contract. I sealed a tutorial on the summoning clans, how contracts work, and the different rankings so read that when you catch a break. It's very important that you do so before you try to summon any of the three toads that have agreed to be aligned with you._

 _"When you summon them for the first time, I want you to say, 'Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Gamaken' and be sure to use a crap ton of chakra. You'll need it, hehe, as he has the contract you will need to sign in blood._

" _Respect, Gaki. I can't stress this enough with any summons let alone the Mountain Toad Clan. People make fun of toads all the time, but no one makes light of a Myoboku Battle Toad anywhere near where they can hear it and expect to escape without life threatening injuries._

" _Show the toads some respect and you've got an ally for life. Treat them like trash or some bad party favor and…"_

" _That said, watch your back around Asuma. I'm not sure if you can trust him yet and any shinobi you can't trust equals an enemy until proven otherwise._

" _When you start learning elemental manipulation, and get strong enough, practice the earth release jutsus I left on the third scroll. I'll see you next time I roll through to see how far you've gotten."_

 _-Jiraiya the Great Toad Sage_

He'd just finished stuffing the scroll back into his jacket when Shikamaru rolled up with a wave.

 **~ Wednesday Morning, Week 3: On the Way to Training Area Ten ~**

Ino had spent the last two days trying to sort out her thoughts from Monday morning. Despite hour after hour of sorting through the facts and rumors surrounding the isolated orphan, and there were considerably more of the latter than the former, she'd made no real progress. Even talking to her father turned up a brick wall, something vague about client-patient confidentiality or some such nonsense.

' _Certainly, Naruto had been a decent fighter in school. I mean, he never lost a fight, or many at least, but to be strong enough to take on a full Jounin by himself? Unreal!_

 _'Okay, okay, calm down Ino. Yes, he mostly dodged and defended but even I could see he was picking his shots carefully, biding his time. Gah! So frustrating! He has no style to speak of, unlike Sasuke-kun. So coooooool!'_

She flushed a beat red at the thought of a beautiful raven-haired clan heir with dark and mysterious eyes. Sakura couldn't wait to come over and rub it in how her team had passed their sensei's test. She raved about how brave and talented Sasuke was and it was like a knife dipped in lemon juice right before the pink-haired hellion rammed it into her chest. Holding the notice in her own hand from Monday morning, Ino couldn't at the time resist opening the letter congratulating her on her team's success and that they were to meet two days later for their first mission as Team Ten. The fact that it was written by the Hokage personally and dated twenty-four hours prior to Sakura's rant shut the smug girl down immediately.

As the pinkette burst out of the Yamanaka Flower Shop, Ino felt a sudden burst of pride.

Petty, yes, but worth it. Worth. Every. Ryu. It was bad enough her former friend got Sasuke out of the academy. To hear her bragging trying to rub the salt further into the stab wound just begged retribution so Ino obliged that small vindictive voice in the back of her head.

Still, here she was trudging back out to Training Area Ten to rejoin her team and her mind was still torn over what she saw during their first meeting.

He was strong, stronger than anyone knew back in the academy. Her father was unwilling to speak about that jutsu he used, what was it? The Kage Bunshin? She had asked to learn it and her father smiled sweetly in his denial claiming that casting a single Kage Bunshin would drain her chakra low enough to put her in a coma. Two would definitely kill her. His answer shocked her to silence.

Here Naruto was spamming them like candy and still had energy to fight and wound their Jounin in a schoolyard brawl.

He was strong. He had ungodly amounts of stamina, that thought making her blush in a perverted way. With a little polishing on his fighting style and a little cleaning up-.

' _No! Nuh-uh!'_ She clamped down on the distraction of potential eye candy. Yes, when he was snarling at the older Asuma-sensei, he looked positively feral in that bad-boy way Sasuke couldn't match but she was spoken for. Naruto-baka would just have to be content to gaze on her beauty from afar.

Still though…

~III~

Eight O'clock on the dot.

Naruto stood with his arms folded across his chest and his face as flat and emotionless as granite. For the first two minutes of the meeting he did nothing but stare heatedly into the eyes of the man that had, for all intents and purposes, tried to kill him two days prior. Glaring at the man still sporting bandages and walking stiffly, he'd been largely silent save for a brief greeting to Shika when he arrived.

He refused to address Ino unless she learned some manners first.

Standing just behind the concentrating instructor stood his adopted big sister, Anko, the biggest shit-eating grin on her face than he'd seen in a long, long time. Asuma was clearly uncomfortable but he cleared his throat appearing at least ready to proceed and stop wasting everyone's time.

"Okay, it looks like we got off on the wrong foot the other day." He opened his mouth to keep talking only to be interrupted by a cough from the blond one that sounded suspiciously like the word, "bastard." Undeterred, he resumed.

"First of all, I'd like to," his face crinkled up in what looked like physical pain, "apologize to you Naruto."

No reaction.

"I was wrong and disappointed that things didn't turn out the way I'd expected, the way things were-." He stopped cold when the scowling Genin raised a hand palm outward.

"Let's just stop right here, Asuma-sensei." The respect, despite the unhappy tone in his voice, surprised Asuma enough to give Naruto room to continue unhindered.

"Let's stop right there and be painfully blunt to start this out. You don't like me, and you didn't want me on this team." Everyone was blinking owlishly except for Shikamaru who was watching Naruto like one would a poisonous lizard or something. "It doesn't take much to do a little research based on your comments Monday to figure out you were looking for the next Ino-Shika-Cho combo. I can only presume it's a status thing and I absolutely don't care.

"I will do my best not to screw up your reputation or get my team killed. I know exactly what my role is on this squad and I'll live up to it. All I ask is that you don't do anything to impede my goals and we'll get along professionally. As soon as I'm able to transfer out, I will, and you can be free to find a fill you'll be proud of."

Asuma tried to deny it but the words wouldn't come out. He was, in essence, getting a free pass on his previously shitty behavior and didn't want to wreck it, selfish as that sounded.

"If you didn't have a problem with me, you wouldn't have tried to take my life the other day so save the lies. I've heard enough from the people in this village my entire life who want the same thing. I don't need any more of it from this team. You don't owe me anything."

He was speaking with passion even if it was distilled by the anger still boiling just beneath the surface. Hokage always said that had the power to either win people to his side with words or to drive them away. Naruto wasn't sure yet what he preferred here but he wasn't going to sugar coat anything.

Maybe it was the fact that he'd been called in earlier to Yamanaka's flower shop to have Fuu-chan reintegrated ahead of their normal afternoon meeting as part of his new schedule with the clan head, but he was filling less tolerant of the crap and just wanted this out of the way. He missed her sulky company already.

Behind him Anko had a sad look in her eyes but it passed quickly as Asuma started up again by clearing his throat.

"Okay, Naruto. If that's the way you want it why don't we use that as a segue to introduce ourselves to each other, start with a clean slate so to speak. I'll go first so you know what I'm looking for." The older guy painfully folded his legs still stiff from his wounds and plopped down into the grass motioning for them to do the same. Two of them followed.

"I'm Asuma Sarutobi. I like a good meal of barbecue, a good smoke, and my comrades. I dislike politics and people butting their noses in my business. My hobbies include shogi and pushing my _bukijutsu_ skills to their limits. If I had a dream, it would be to one day settle down and help rebuild my clan back to its former glory." He almost seemed nostalgic at that point, but it passed quickly as he looked up at the long-haired blond on one end of the trio.

"Alright chatter box, your up." Ino harrumphed before idly grabbing her ponytail, something Asuma took note of. _'Nervous habit I wonder?'_

"I'm Ino Yamanaka. I like fashion, flowers, and friends!" Naruto saw a bit too much energy in her and it was beginning to wear him down. "I dislike bullies and people that underestimate me because I'm a pretty face." Her face wrinkled up briefly as an unpleasant thought rifled through her memory. "My dream is twofold. One, I hope to win the heart of a certain shinobi. Two, I will someday replace my father as head of the Yamanaka Clan and lead interrogator at T&I." Asuma nodded once before his eyes flicked over to Shikamaru.

"Troublesome." He had to sit up enough to stop focusing on the clouds to speak and even that took deliberate decision making on his part. "Anything beyond cloud watching and sleeping is too troublesome. I dislike wasted energy, which I find beyond troublesome as it detracts from my likes. When I have a hobby that replaces cloud watching, I will be sure to let you all know. For now, my goals in life center around making Chunin, marrying a mellow woman, not too pretty nor too plain, having two kids, one male one female, and retiring as early as possible to take over the family herds." With that declaration, the spiky-headed boy laid on his back and went back to staring at the clouds from between the leaves above his head.

Anko actually sweat-dropped as wave after wave of lethargic apathy rolled off the lazy Genin. Asuma sighed as it was pretty much what he expected talking to Shikaku the day before. Then steadied his nerves as he turned to the one person still standing, his thumbs hooked into the heavy leather belt around his waist. Naruto returned his sigh with one of his own as his eyes focused on the ground as he prepared his thoughts.

"C'mon, Naruto," Ino chided out, "remind us how you're gonna be the greatest Hokage ever!" She started giggling but the sound died in her throat at his unblinking glare. With his posture, the air of danger and aggression he was exuding, she suddenly felt warm and flushed. Unable to hold his gaze, she cleared her throat with a cough and suddenly found pieces of lint on her purple outfit exponentially more interesting.

When he started speaking, she snuck a peek up at his dark grey and black clothes trying not to blush as he looked ready for trouble at a moments notice. _'Remember Sasuke! Blah! Blah! Blah! Sasuke is better!'_ She peeked again anyway.

"Naruto Uzumaki, sole surviving member of the Uzumaki Clan in Konoha." This snapped up all of their heads, even Shikamaru's. "I like training and I train until my fingers bleed and my body breaks. Even then, it's a distant love to my love of Ramen. I hate bigots and idiots, especially those that hate me without knowing the real me. I guess that means about ninety-eight percent of this village fall into that category. Oh, I also hate the three minutes it takes to make instant ramen. Three minutes is _not_ instant." Ino almost smiled there. "My hobbies include gardening, _fuuinjutsu_ , and training. As for my dream, I will become one of the strongest shinobi Konoha has ever seen so that I can take my place among the ANBU Black as one of their best. Then I can leave this village in the shadows where it belongs." Asuma blinked hard. A self-taught seal artist was not anywhere in the boy's academic record.

You could have heard a pin drop in the grassy training field. While Ino's mind was jumbled and trying to reboot, Anko looked almost heart broken.

Asuma coughed to break the tension. _'I wonder just how much he knows about his family?'_

"Okay then. I think it is time I lay out the plan for our work days. We'll start each…" Asuma spelled out the gameplan and, for the next couple weeks, Team Ten spent every morning in their designated training field doing basic exercises (Anko's requirement after the first day when Asuma took them to lunch then spent the afternoon teaching Shikamaru Shogi while ignoring the other two) then working individual training followed by team exercises. Their Jounin still managed to work in lunch twice a week at his favorite barbecue joint, Yakiniku Q, despite Ino's reservations about eating too much or getting too fat, something that annoyed Anko to no end prompting an intervention.

Naruto refused to join them for social hour as he called it, so it left Anko free to focus on the female blond and focus she did. She'd work on breaking up her otōto's bad habits later.

The older woman took it upon herself to try and beat the fangirlish tendencies out of Ino when she passed out on their fourth morning of exercises having skipped the first two meals of the day four days in a row. Still sticking to his claim of trying to teach the Nara strategy through games of Shogi, she'd also badgered Asuma enough to make him spin off a shadow clone in order to improve Naruto's _bukijutsu._

It was something at least, since he could never get the brawler to join them for a meal, and he knew a great deal about fighting in close with knives. They practiced with rubber-padded training weapons but still struck hard enough to leave bruises. The scary thing was Naruto absorbed it all like a sponge from proper form and technique to creating combinations and attack sequences. When it came to fighting with a short blade, the boy was a prodigy. Inside of two weeks, he began popping the clone during their sparring sessions forcing Asuma to replace it _at least_ one a day.

The Jounin sighed. If this kept up, he'd have to trade jobs with the clone so it could play shogi with the Nara instead, who he quickly learned he could no longer win against. It was truly depressing so, in order to prolong the matches with the lazy Nara, Asuma started teaching the anti-social Genin some of his personal fighting favorites.

"Okay Naruto," the clone began, "today we're going to take a different path for your training." The clone took out its copy of the original's chakra blade and pushed some chakra into it, the razor-thin edge of the weapon humming to life with a sliver of pulsating energy. Clear white energy shot down its length in increasingly quick spurts until it was a steady stream is hissing power before the flared shield of energy compressed into a thin sheath extending millimeters from the blade's edge.

Naruto was entranced. It was the most beautiful thing he'd seen since discovering Anko's boobs in her mesh armor.

"I call this the _Flying Swallow_ and it uses my wind chakra affinity to form an extension of the blade." Flicking his wrist at a nearby tree, the blade punches through the trunk and a rock behind it before disappearing into a puff of chakra and vanishing. "With a real weapon, that last part wouldn't happen, and you could retrieve the weapon after. We're going to work on this for the next week or so once we learn what your chakra affinity is. It might not be wind, however, if it's not wind, fire, or electricity it doesn't mean that you can't learn this. It just means it will be harder for you to master so you'll need some patience. If you're willing to work hard, I promise that you can learn this technique and everything I have to teach you that follows."

Naruto's eyes went back to the tree with a fist-sized hole in it and the large rock that had been split cleanly in half. What did he have to lose?

"Let's not waste time then. What's first?" The clone reached into a vest pocket and pulled out a couple strips of egg-white paper.

"Got these from the original. They're-."

"Chakra paper. I know how they work." The clone seemed surprised.

"Then you know your affinity?" It was more a statement than anything else and the boy nodded. The clone took one sheet and stuffed the rest back in his vest pocket. "I still want to test you. Sometimes affinities evolve, or you can begin to develop another one without realizing it as you learn new jutsu. We'll be testing you from time to time to keep track since you're the team's powerhouse. Asuma will need to know what you're capable of."

The Genin took it all in stride and held the paper up preparing to surge his chakra through the offending strip. With his fingers glowing a bright blue, the top edge of the sheet split into a dozen tassels, half of which immediately began sprouting water into the air like a fountain and the other half nearly evaporating into dust.

He had three! More importantly, he was another air user much like his father. Asuma's clone smiled. This was going to be easier than he thought. With a grin, he directed the boy to go grab some leaves as he prepared to show him the first step of developing his wind affinity.

Once he set him to practicing, the clone returned the extra sheets of chakra paper to the original by slapping them down next to the shogi board. The original looked at the strips of paper then up to the clone in confusion.

"Did you find out what his affinity was?" Instead of answering, the cheeky clone smiled then released sending all of his information directly into the Jounin's mind.

"Good… Kami!" His cigarette fell to the earth and sputtered out in the still damp grass. Anko, running Ino through flexibility and strength-building exercises glanced over her shoulder as her own clone put the girl through her paces.

"What's wrong, Asuma?" He glanced at her in irritation but then his eyes shot back over to the blond boy sitting lotus on the grass with over fifty clones concentrating intently as they pressed their palms together.

"He has three." Shikamaru finally made a move informing Asuma he had been checked but the Jounin apparently didn't hear him.

"Three what?" Anko looked over at her younger brother in confusion.

"Elemental affinities." Both Anko and Shikamaru blinked in surprise. "He has three elemental affinities, wind, water, and earth." Asuma swore he'd seen the very tips of the crumbling section of his chakra paper smolder, but it was gone before the clone could catch it. He didn't want to get his hopes up anyway. That could have been the influence of the fox more than anything else.

He'd need to find a teacher to coach out the other two. For now, he had a chance to teach the next air user and this one had phenomenal amounts of chakra to support those energy intensive jutsus he himself had to use sparingly.

Suddenly losing Choji, while it hurt, no longer seemed like the end of the world.

 **~ Thursday Morning, Week 6: The Slums Abandoned Training Ground ~**

Naruto finished his morning run and took several calming breaths. He'd begun pushing himself increasing both the number of laps and the amount of weight through his seals. Glancing at the seal decorating the back of his left hand, he saw, once he pushed chakra through the tenketsu there, the first three arrays fully illuminated.

It was the main reason why he never complained too much during Team Ten's lackluster morning workouts. They were so light he treated them as a second warm-up session where he could stretch out sore muscles after his early morning all-out beatdowns. Speaking of which, he glanced down at one of his wrists thinking he would have to increase the resistance again soon.

' _Four times normal gravity, not bad.'_ Spreading his feet shoulder width apart, he began the litany of stretches that would ease out his slowly tightening muscles. _'This has to be abnormal. People just don't develop like this.'_ A reddish-orange shadow flashed through his mind. _'Must be because of him healing me constantly.'_ He was up to five hundred reps and then a good hour of sparring with his clones which would lead him to a hearty breakfast. Spawning an extra twenty-five clones, he set them to working on his continued mastery of his first element.

Before long, the cries of shinobi battling each other rang out across his personal training ground.

~III~

"Stop pampering the Nara." Asuma turned to look over his shoulder at the ever-angry Mitarashi.

"What are you on about?" He knew what she meant but he was hoping to hold on to his lazy routine for a bit longer.

"He needs more to fall back on other than that big brain of his. What good are all those smarts if he's got the comparable strength of a Yamanaka debutante?"

She had a point. Maybe he'd add an hour of training on something easy. According to academy records, Shikamaru had a knack for genjutsu but was too lazy to develop it. He knew the bare basics but most of that could be solved by giving the boy scrolls and books to get him started. Perhaps he could sweet talk Kurenai into lending a hand on the weekends just for tips and pointers?

He'd try anything to get closer to that gorgeous woman.

For Ino, he'd lined up tutoring sessions in medical ninjutsu at Anko's request. It made sense since the young lady had better than average chakra control and the smarts to back it up coming in a close second to Sakura Haruno in the brains department. Besides, it would be nice to have a medic with them on missions away from home.

He grunted out his agreement and turned back to the lone figure curled up under a tree reading from a rather large leather-bound book. Every day started the same as far as the quiet boy was concerned. He arrived early, left late, and worked himself raw in between those two events. He had a phenomenal work ethic and had already mastered the first phase of his elemental training.

Asuma figured the second phase would fall to his determination today, that was generating localized vortexes of wind around different appendages. He had mastered that part around his hands and was working on doing it with his feet. It'd be time to start teaching him how to concentrate that energy into a cutting force so that he could split rocks soon. From there it was just a short step to building a cutting edge around his blades.

Phenomenal work ethic and a tactile ability to learn. What would his grades have been like at the academy if even one other instructor past Iruka had tried to help him? Three weeks since they'd started working as a team and he'd progressed this far.

Despite trying not to grow attached, Naruto was starting to grow on him. They had a lot in common despite his father still breathing. Reaching for another cig, Asuma's eyes turned back to the grove's entrance in search of his remaining two students.

~III~

" _Trash Panda_ , this is _Rain Man_ , over." Shika didn't know where Asuma got their nicknames, especially since he changed them from time to time, but he'd stop fighting them once he realized that Asuma tended to use them even after D-ranks ended. He was notorious for doing it around their peers in particularly embarrassing situations. If he went along with it during missions, and only on their team channel, it usually wasn't so bad.

It was very troublesome that Naruto still fought the trend sometimes. It often dragged things out unnecessarily.

" _Trash Panda_ , this is _Rain Man_ , over." Silence. Then a great sigh after his headset crackled with static just before another transmission came across his earpiece.

"This is…(pause)… _Trash Panda_. What do you want?" There was a pregnant pause before another click followed by a terse, "Over."

" _Trash Panda_ , do you have eyes on the target and can you confirm the primary identifier?"

"Affirmative to both." From his vantage point on the roof of a grocer half a block away, Shikamaru could see the blond lowering his hand from the transmit button of his radio. Thirty or so meters in front of him he could see the lazily switching tail of a cat sniffing around a back alley and just the smallest hint of a red bow. Glancing down the sides of his building, he could see Ino hiding just around the corner with her back to the wall. "Over."

" _Barbie_ , this is _Rain Man_. Get ready. Break, _Trash Panda_ start your run on my mark." Below him, Ino lurched off the wall and turned to face the alley entrance three steps in front of her trying hard not to snicker every time Naruto's call sign came out over the radio. Down the alley way, Naruto unrolled a bundle with wooden senbon individually wrapped in low-grade explosive seals, barely more than firecrackers.

Above the alley and across on the other roof, several of his teammate's clones used in finding the wayward pest were crouched down with similar wooden implements clutched in their fists. They seemed almost giddy with the new strategy.

"Three…" Shikamaru watched as Naruto hoisted two projectiles through the fingers of one fist. The clones across from _Rain Man_ reciprocated the motion.

"Two…" Shika saw the chakra fuses spark as Naruto's arm raised over his head.

"One…" Ino started walking towards the alley.

"Go!" Naruto let fly with the two senbon, which then struck cardboard between him and the cat. They exploded in a shower of confetti and gunpowder causing the feline to leap a meter into the air before tearing off down the alley. Every time it paused to look behind itself, another round of senbon exploded on its heels. After a third round, the cat shot off like a brown bolt without stopping and leaped right into the gently smiling and cooing arms of Ino as she crouched down at the alley's entrance.

"This is _Barbie_ , target acquired." As she stood with the trembling feline in her arms, Shikamaru climbed down the fire escape to join his teammates.

" _Thunder God_ this is _Rain Man_ , all mission objectives accomplished. Team rendezvousing at station Alpha for debriefing." Not even pausing for the double-tap-pulse response he knew Asuma would send, Shika tore the earpiece from his head and strolled off towards Hokage Tower knowing his team would be right on his heels.

Ino smiled as she stroked the terrified feline's fur. Their D-ranks had established a comfortable rhythm and the extra cash was nice for supporting her spending habits. She saw herself as the heart and soul of the team and was more than happy to concede tactical planning to the Nara, who had the superior skills in that department. If they needed information, the group turned to her mind and her clan jutsus. Naruto deferred to both unless Shika wanted his input on a plan, the latter all to familiar with the elaborate pranking schemes employed by the orphan in the academy. Everyone recognized stealth as his domain, but they were rapidly acknowledging his capacity in the realm of raw offensive power.

A thousand clones scouring weeds from a farm-sized garden turned tedious tasks into a breeze and allowed them the chance to complete three or four D-ranks a day. It got so bad, Iruka refused to give them more than two any more saying that the Hokage was responsible for maintaining the economical balance for all Genin teams and they shouldn't be greedy even if their accomplishment rate was astronomically good.

It was so good in fact that Team Ten was beginning to pop up under customer requests. By name.

Meeting up with their two senseis outside of the tower, Anko's face broke into a huge grin as she held out a palm to her male counterpart. Asuma grimaced and slapped a small fold of Ryu into her palm as he stormed off inside to conclude the mission report.

Ino looked up at the older woman in confusion causing Anko to chuckle. "I bet him you guys would set a new record today for the Tora mission. He lost."

Asuma wasn't the only surprised one. Both the Daimyo's corpulent wife and Iruka both stared in comic disbelief as the squad walked in with the now calmly purring cat and not a single scratch on any of them.

"Oh! My baby!" Madame Shijimi squealed out smashing the bug-eyed feline against her expansive bosom. If this had been one of their first half dozen attempts on the brutal hellspawn, Naruto might have enjoyed the sight and sound of its ribs being snapped like twigs. Given that they'd perfected their hunt and capture process, he only felt sorry for it. Sometimes being alone had its advantages.

He almost spoke in the cat's defense. Almost.

Once she'd left, Hiruzen turned to the Chunin with a pleased smile. He'd won the pool on this team to crack the Tora time limit after all. "Since it's only been a half hour, what's left for them, Iruka?"

"Well, Hokage-sama, we have a barn in need of cleaning and painting, one of our heaviest paying D-ranks. We have the second batch of Inuzuka dogs up for their weekly walking." He happily shuffled through a few more scrolls completely missing Ino's increasingly red hue of frustration. "Aaaaaaaaand, we have…" Outside they could all hear Madame Shijimi wail out in grief calling the name of her dearly beloved pet. "...apparently another Tora mission coming soon."

Whatever the red-faced Chunin was going to say next was cut off as a Chunin from the Cipher department rushed in with a scroll clutched protectively in her ink-stained fingers. Brown hair askew and thick glasses making her eyes resemble permanent swirls, she thrust the item into the Hokage's hands before rushing off back to whatever secret den awaited her return.

All eyes turned to the Hokage's face as his eyebrows drew down into a tight scowl.

"Iruka, I believe I have the perfect mission for Team Ten." Without another word, he held the partially-rolled parchment out across the table for Asuma to take. We will give the upcoming Tora mission to the next Genin squad."

~III~

Strolling across the village in a bee-line for the Tower, all of Team Seven sneezed violently. As one, they stopped mid-stride and glanced at one another nervously.

Kakashi Hatake had the distinct urge to laugh uncontrollably.

~III~

One glance across the scroll and Asuma passed it to Naruto without a sideways glance to the boy.

"Do you accept this mission, Team Ten?" Hiruzen was looking at Naruto expectantly for some reason and so was Asuma now. Shocked that they would be waiting on him, he unfurled it and started reading with Shikamaru and Ino picking a shoulder each to join him over. The ponytail-bearing kunoichi piped up quickly.

"Who in heck is Koaru Aono?" She jumped when she heard a growl escape from Naruto's throat.

"He's a traitorous bastard in need of killing." He looked up into the Hokage's eyes before snarling out, "I can't speak for my team, but I'll accept this C-rank and go with out them if need be."

"You did see that the mission calls for retrieval dead _or_ alive, right?" Asuma's question came with a raised eyebrow but the cranky Genin never missed a beat.

"So, you're saying I can pick one, right?" He closed the scroll and held it up with his left hand.

Asuma clapped his hands together once drawing all eyes to him as he reached out to take the scroll back. "Pack for a two-week C-rank and meet me at the western gate in two hours for roll call and loadout check." The three snapped to attention and strolled from the office without another word.

Hiruzen was impressed. "Did you teach them that?" Asuma nodded with a deep chuckle.

"No, to be honest I didn't even know they could be so respectful." The faceplants from both Anko and the Sandaime seemed to roll off his shoulders like water.

Straightening his robes, the Hokage turned back to his son in all seriousness. "Make sure we don't lose him, Asuma. I'm giving you this mission because he needs the closure and there are two elite shinobis with them. Interfere only if you must. I'm putting a lot of trust in you to pull this off."

Both nodded before vanishing in their own [ _Body Flicker_ ].

' _Don't prove me wrong.'_

~III~

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 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

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 **[C-Rank] Fūton: Hein (Wind Release: Flying Swallow):** This is an "addition-line ninjutsu" that augments the cutting power of a bladed weapon by flowing chakra into it. A dense blade of chakra is formed around the physical blade, extending its reach. Because users can adjust the length of this chakra blade at will, opponents can never fully anticipate the user's attacks. For the purpose of this story, I've given the unranked jutsu an effective C-ranking.

 **[Rank A] Raigō: Senjusatsu (Welcoming Approach: Thousand-Armed Murder):**

This is the ultimate technique of the Fire Temple that is taught only to its ninja monks and requires the special Gift of the Hermit Group chakra. The technique is activated when the user takes a specific stance with their left hand making a half-ram and then extending their right hand down with his palm parallel to the ground. Once the stance is taken, the spirit of the Thousand-Armed Kannon is summoned to defend the user or attack their enemies. The spirit is normally calm, angelic and looks peaceful. However, whenever the user gets angry, the spirit turns red and transforms into a demonic-looking creature. Kannon then attacks the user's target with its 1000 spirit fists. The size and power of the spirit is dependent upon the skill of the user.

~III~


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** For the fanfic, the map I'm referencing has several unclaimed and unnamed regions for later expansion of the fanfic (random missions and such). One such zone will come into play this chapter, so I figured forewarning was in order.

I'm guessing this fanfic will transition briefly into crossover realm after this chapter. Don't worry, it'll be a short visit but worth the stay (I'm hoping). Maybe I'll come back if it's well-received.

Post-uber clone, the goal remains to minimize OCs wherever possible (Nurse Otoha is actually from the manga, volume #10, and the anime, episode #52, despite what some of the PMs I received may indicate). Gamatetsu, unfortunately, is not but I'm proud of my creation (most of you will easily remember that Gamatatsu is the bright yellow brother of Gamakichi). Those of you familiar with Fujino Omori's work will recognize where this arc is headed.

 **Mr. Paw Paw:** You are only half right. This story does involve a little Asuma bashing but it's bashing with a (later) purpose. Since I am mid-draft mode on some pieces to shed further light on why the story is the way it's written, I will defer from commenting too much in depth and let the curious minds defending Asuma find out why. I'm a bit surprised at the interest because there isn't much fanfic material out there specifically about him unless it involves lots of gratuitous boinking with Kurenai, Anko, or (the occasional) Ino. (O_o)

As Zabzab points out, he was acting like a five-year-old and yes, that was contrived for their opening interaction since Kishimoto doesn't really delve deeply into Asuma's life and relationships beyond using him as a revenge plot to kill Hidan. It's like some runaway Greek tragedy. In fact, it was why I specifically chose to focus on Asuma as a central figure this time around (yes, there are times where he will fade to the background but he's meant to instruct and mentor not micro-manage). I was disappointed at the lack of development for this character in general fanfiction, especially since Kishimoto all but ignores him, but it's to be expected given his minimal role in canon. His relationship with his father is in the crapper, he's struggling to come into his own as an instructor and as a love interest for Kurenai, and, by the time he starts to come around, he loses his outwardly apathetic father that secretly loves and is proud of his son.

For lack of a better term, I decided Asuma needed some tough love as I still see him as the impetuous youth that ran away to the Capital to escape his overbearing father. Now I'm giving the father a second chance based on what he's learned dealing with Naruto as an orphan growing up. Just keep in mind that there are three relationship circles surrounding and intertwining with Asuma. Naruto is just the foci Hiruzen is using to give them a push. Despite the uncomfortable nature of the previous chapter, it serves to highlight some things that need worked on, some character flaws I noted in the canon Asuma, and I'm drawing out my interpretation of them. I guarantee many that read this will most likely disagree but that's okay. Remember Naruto's comments during their "official" team meeting? There is a reason why I put that there and installed him as a part of this team. He and Asuma are going to help each other whether they know it or not.

But there can be no growth spurt without a little discomfort and my Hiruzen has a vested interest in turning his wayward son's life around early on.

Overall, you raise some good points, however, I disagree on the Team Ten concept, at least for my fanfic. I've built this version around an Infiltration and Capture concept, which could be reasonably asserted for the canon story line. While Naruto easily falls into the role of a heavy hitter combat type and could arguably unbalance the team, his entering argument as a heavy hitter is to replace Choji. You could not in any reasonable argument convince me that Choji possesses the stealth capabilities to meet that function in an infiltration team despite being a shinobi just as Shikamaru and Ino both fail to meet the aggressive combatant role leaning more towards strategy and information gathering. It's a very thin argument to a very specialized team, hence Naruto's greater range of talents supporting the creation of a tailored infiltration squad.

First, however, he needs to change his son's perception of the team and Asuma, given the confrontational history he shares with his father, one eluded to in canon, I chose to tailor their ongoing feud using Naruto as the catalyzing link. In short, he is part of Hiruzen's plan and the Sandaime fully expected his son to go to some extreme to prove him wrong.

Hiruzen, in my fanfic, made the switch to fill a very personal desire but could easily substantiate the juxtaposition as Naruto demonstrably proved through his academy years that he has the skills for the job. The only reason there exists in canon an Ino-Shika-Cho combo is nepotism, pure and simple. The attempted argument is laughable in any language and translates in my mind to, "If Shika and Ino aren't good enough to get in an out with the INTEL, Choji had better be strong enough to break them out of enemy hands." That's a failed concept for an infiltration team as we all know that Choji is not, not as he is now, but Naruto's talents admirably fill the void (army in a box), both concerning infiltration and extraction/defense. But that digresses from why Hiruzen put him on the team to begin with, and that, I promise, I will make abundantly clear even though I hinted to it somewhere in the previous chapters.

Well, I've blabbed enough. Back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **A/N: Updated Feb 22, 2019 to correct grammar and spelling issues. The goal was to clean up some of the transitions and attempt to** **better** **identify when the characters are speaking/ thinking/transitioning from one scene to another. Making good progress this week and the next new chapter should be out this weekend, hopefully.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto nor anything produced by Fujino Omori.**

* * *

 **Warning: I'm not a fan of Sakura. If you've read** _ **Nature of the Beast**_ **at all, you're probably well aware of that fact. I believe her to be a shallow, miserable creature that Naruto should have avoided at all cost. I also think Sasuke deserves her attention as they are meant for each other, although he will be less douchie in my fic. Therefore, there is slight Sakura bashing in this chapter, but I take it easier on her here than I do in** _ **Beast**_ **.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 9: You Can Run**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

" _Do you accept this mission, Team Ten?" He was looking at Naruto expectantly for some reason and so was Asuma now. Shocked that they would be waiting on him, he unfurled it and started reading with Shikamaru and Ino picking a shoulder each to join him over. The ponytail-bearing kunoichi piped up quickly._

" _Who in heck is Koaru Aono?" She jumped when she heard a growl escape from Naruto's throat._

" _He's a traitorous bastard in need of killing." He looked up into the Hokage's eyes before snarling out, "I can't speak for my team, but I'll accept this C-rank and go without them if need be."_

" _You did see that the mission calls for retrieval dead or alive, right?" Asuma's question came with a raised eyebrow but the cranky Genin never missed a beat._

" _So, you're saying I can pick one, right?" He closed the scroll and held it up with his left hand._

 _Asuma clapped his hands together once drawing all eyes to him as he reached out to take the scroll back. "Pack for a two-week C-rank and meet me at the western gate in two hours for roll call and loadout check." The three snapped to attention and strolled from the office without another word._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Thursday Morning, Week 6: Hokage Tower, 8 Hours Before Team Ten's Departure ~**

Inoichi Yamanaka was standing next to a small window, its sliver-like view of every passersby on the street below only a peripheral interest at the moment. His sharp mind was elsewhere cataloging the six previous interactions with the Genin Uzumaki and how he was going to summarize his weekly progress report to the Sandaime Hokage. For a brief second, his mind stumbled on the mission his daughter was about to undertake with the Genin in question and, not for the first time, his brows knitted together in frustration at the path his Hokage had chosen.

' _It is within his right but a Hokage should defer to a medical specialist unless they themselves possess the requisite skills. Why? Why would he do this?'_ It was circular logic that invariably led him down the same rabbit hole of endless unanswerable suppositions. _'There must be some plausible reason,'_ he postulated.

A gentle voice behind him steered his thoughts away from his tangle of questions and back to the Hokage's office door. Nodding his thanks to the receptionist from his own clan, Inoichi tugged on the hem of his long-sleeved shirt, straightened his spine, and entered into the lion's den, er, monkey's tree.

Pleasantries passed almost at a blur, the old man's eyes twinkling like small stars. As expected, the ongoing reintegration was proceeding smoothly despite Inoichi's personal misgivings. Something was gnawing at the back of his mind, something he'd overlooked since that first week and it was beginning to trouble him. He hated not knowing. Knowing that unfounded allegations wouldn't help, he stayed to the facts as he knew them, the boy's slowly improving demeanor, his increasing willingness to engage mentally but not quite yet emotionally, and the increasing ease of the process. It all seemed too good to be true really and, when things appear that way, they usually are.

Question and answer at the end of his report included the standard fare and, before he knew it, he was being dismissed. Rising from the comfortable chair and turning towards the weathered door leading to his freedom, he caught the barest hint of consideration in the Hokage's eyes, a mere twinkling really. Striding quickly for the exit before his mouth could stir up trouble, his hand landed on the knob just as his mind registered the dooming sound of a heavy door slamming shut.

"Are," the pause after that one word was enough to snap him out of his dazed focus, "you absolutely sure there is nothing on your mind, Inoichi?"

For almost a minute, Inoichi Yamanaka considered those words. His mind warred with his hand as his fingers opened and clenched around the shiny brass orb. So simple a thing it would be to deny any such occurrence and heave the door open making good his escape. So simple a thing.

His wife always did say he had more pride and honor than common sense.

His eyes closed. His chest puffed out before exhaling a protracted burst of air. Before self-preservation could force him to make a break for it, Inoichi spun away from the door and strode purposefully to stand before the Hokage's desk once again.

Apparently, much to Inoichi's consternation, the Sandaime found this all very entertaining as that annoying twinkle in his eyes managed to turn up the corners of his mouth in equal merriment.

"Permission to speak freely, Hokage-sama." The old man nodded his head once, his now lit pipe finding its way between those crookedly smiling lips.

"Why Hokage-sama? Why have you spurned my advice and risked the health of the Uzumaki boy?" He was expecting the old man to snarl at him for questioning his decision. He was expecting the most powerful shinobi in the village to dress him down and send him packing. What he didn't expect was the briefest softening around the corners of those smirking eyeballs. It was almost as if they held the barest trace of sympathy? As if he'd passed some unspoken test.

This only annoyed him further but he held out for a response.

As he waited for the answer he never expected to receive, Inoichi realized that he was angry, very angry with his superior.

He didn't want sympathy.

He didn't want charity.

He had briefed the Hokage on the very real risks if this reintegration went sideways. He knew the risks to anyone around an unstable and possibly sociopathic vessel of the Nine Tails. People would die, and they would die horrifically. Now, as a direct result of the Hokage's decision to re-assign the Uzumaki boy to another team, his only daughter now stood front and center to the aftermath of Konoha's reasonably assured self-destruction.

Despite the hubris involved in thinking he was owed an answer, Inoichi _felt_ he was owed an answer. No parent wanted to say "I told you so" while they were burying their only child.

As those thoughts ran rampantly through his mind, Inoichi noticed that the _God of Shinobi_ had been watching his very bare emotions play across his face and did something he hadn't done since first dating his wife. He blushed with embarrassment.

Instead of chastising him for his brazen approach, the Hokage chuckled, rose from his chair and took several quiet steps over to the large windows overlooking the Hokage Monument. Inoichi noticed the old man had taken to doing that more often as of late.

"I've always hated that memorial. It reminds me every day of my greatest failure." Inoichi blinked having had his whole line of thought suddenly blindsided.

"Hokage-sama?" The old man hadn't turned around, but he kept speaking.

"I am an old man, Inoichi-san. I can feel it in my bones and each and every bone resonates with a different failure, none more so than how I failed my son. I drove him away into the capital and cost us the best years of both our lives." Inoichi was flustered. He honestly had no idea what this had to do with Naruto Uzumaki.

"I've spent the last decade being cautious and I'm out of time. Just once, I intend to force the hand of fate." He pulled a scroll out of his left sleeve and tossed it with a casual flick of the wrist to the Yamanaka Clan head before turning back to the window apparently having said his piece.

Still terribly confused, Inoichi unrolled what appeared to be Anko Mitarashi's twentieth report on her observations of Team Ten.

" _Week 3, Day 4,_

" _The gakis appear to be making steady progress…"_

He skimmed through the basic update material before something catches his eye.

" _Despite my gut feelings telling me to strangle Asuma and take the team for myself, he's doing better. Seems he's taken a liking to my gaki in particular, the two training together like peas in the same sick pod. Seein' the little guy's eyes sparkle like that whenever he gets the real Asuma instead of a clone is fu-,"_ that part seems crossed out and illegible, _"freakin' weird but the shine in his eyes fades quickly when they get to the down and dirty. He's also fu- (more cross outs) damned good with those rotten punch knives. Nearly cost me a trench last week the little shi-."_ There's another ink blot correction before she moves on to a fresh paragraph.

 _He hasn't failed outright yet and, honestly, I'm surprised. Little Asuma appears to be growing up and part of me wants to blame the blond... knucklehead wrestling with him in Training Area Ten."_

The Interrogation lead is first of all surprised with the high quality of Anko's detailed report. There's more about projection timelines and wanting to set up Ino to study medical ninjutsu, something that pleasantly surprises him. She's apparently planning to recommend it to Asuma the following day and see what he thinks. Inoichi's mouth twitches into the resemblance of a proud smile before closing the scroll and returning it gently to the Hokage's desk.

Inoichi looks up completely surprised, especially given the rough start of Team Ten on their first day.

"There is more at stake, Inoichi-san, than the Jinchuuriki. I believe he's where he needs to be."

He was familiar with Hiruzen's family situation and the quick-minded advisor put two and two together. Inoichi smiled as relief, not complete relief but a substantial alleviation, washed over him. The Hokage was playing a dangerous game but, for the sake of his daughter, he was hoping that luck was on their side.

Bowing once, Inoichi spun on his heel and left to find the nearest tavern. He'd send a mental message to Choza and Shikaku to join him once he'd found a booth for their afternoon booze fest. He'd help Anko with her report formatting once she got back.

 **~ Thursday Afternoon, Week 6: The Western Gate of Konoha ~**

Naruto stood at the wide-open gates to Konoha's western face with his eyes focused on the village behind him. Despite the lazy Chunin trying to drill holes in his backpack with their eyes all the way from their guard table, he appeared calm and focused with his upright posture inhumanly still.

He'd been mentally reliving his visit to Tenten twenty minutes ago and was having a hard time understanding why she was annoyed with him. He wasn't expecting to be gone for more than two weeks but, when he told her, the air got very chilly in the weapons shop. Her parting shot of, _"Don't be useless and get yourself killed!"_ seemed a bit unnecessary. Naruko's tittering in the back of his mind didn't help either.

He'd also been standing there for the last hour silently observing everything that passed by his statuesque position. Given his almost daily preparation for mission packing and the fact that he kept most of his tactical gear stored in sealing scrolls, gathering what remained took him all of fifteen minutes back in his apartment.

Naruto even had time to stock up on food and snacks kept in two rather heavily packed scrolls snugged up along the inner lining of his backpack designed to hold four seals vertically to conserve space. That allowed him plenty of extra time to hang out and observe people as the mission particulars rumbled around in his brain. Not that he'd done much of it lately with so many distractions available near the gate, like for instance his peers.

He'd spotted Team Eight coming from a crossing street onto the main thoroughfare from several blocks away. None of them were facing his direction so he could do little more than smile to himself. Hinata had been chatting animatedly with Shino much to the frustrated angst of Kiba as he trailed behind. The dog-nin was unhappily focused on the back of the bluenette's head much to his sensei's apparent displeasure as she stalked silently behind her team. Naruto filed that away for later discussion with his Hyuuga friend.

Easing out his shoulders (since his pack was considerably lighter with most of his crap sealed away), Naruto leaned against the sill of the great gate only to tense up when a familiar shriek obliterated the afternoon calm. Turning his head over his right shoulder and outside the gate, he grimaced at the sight of Team Seven strolling up to the guards and reporting their return from a Class-C mission, one clearly from one of the neighboring villages given their lack of packs or extended supplies.

The ear-splitting noise came from the braying pinkette glaring hatefully in his direction. On the bright side, Choji waved politely eliciting a brief nod of acknowledgment from the blond berserker.

"What are you waiting for, dobe?" Naruto's eyes flickered to the raven-haired boy smirking in his direction. He briefly wondered if answering the fool was worth the pain it'd cause and, having quickly measured the pain-pleasure worth of the situation on his personal shit-o-meter, turned away from Sasuke without a response and back to the hustle and bustle of inner Konoha.

It wasn't that he disliked the boy. They were tolerable rivals in the academy. No, he disliked the holier-than-thou persona and made it clear of what he thought about it by refusing to answer every time the massacre survivor deigned to piss him off.

Choji sighed understanding his fellow shinobi's reluctance and began dreading the predictable response.

' _3…'_

' _2…'_

' _aaaaaand…'_

"Hey, Naru-baka! You should answer when your superior questions you!" The girl's voice was absolutely murder on his ears. Naruto's pinky reflexively shot up to soothe his abused eardrum.

Still, he refused to answer making Sasuke's eyebrow twitch even more. Their sensei had completed his report at the sentry station but opted to watch the interchange vice intervene, his one exposed eye focusing in on the obstinate blond.

"Cha! Ignore him Sasuke-kun! He's just jealous because his team didn't get a C-ranked first!" Choji tried to settle the ruffled feathers as best he could.

"Sakura-san, all we did was deliver supplies to-." The green-eyed monster didn't care as she cut off the gentle giant forcing him to flinch at her furor.

"A C-rank is still a C-rank and the lesser shinobi should recognize their betters with the proper respect!" Naruto sighed quietly but turned to look Choji squarely in the eye before acknowledging his efforts with a gentle nod and a warm smile. Having expended all the effort he cared to, the boy turned his attention back towards the village as his teammates, and both senseis, walked into view.

For his part, Kakashi felt extreme embarrassment for the behavior of his Genin. The cyclops wanted to believe that Sasuke and Sakura would be able to leave the academy behind and develop socially but those efforts seemed doomed to fail. He'd need to have another talk with Sasuke and Sakura later.

One to live in the moment, he took a second to take in the growth of Konoha's number one unpredictable shinobi. Naruto had changed noticeably from his academy days his calmer attitude forcing the elite Jounin's eyebrow to climb up closer to his hairline.

"Still braying like the jackass you are, _forehead_? I can hear you half way across Konoha." The nerve twitching across the pinkette's temple indicated extreme duress.

"Should have known a loser like you would be attached to more failures, Ino-pig." Naruto grimaced. It figured the one time she wasn't yelling she'd be insulting one of his teammates with that nasty medium-pitched growl in the back of her throat. He had a strong urge to smack her nose with a rolled up scroll and yell, "Bad dog!"

"Well, this has been fun, but we need to do a gear check before we head out on a capture mission, so you folks need to move on." Anko's sicky-sweet smile did not transmit a soothing aura. If anything, it made the howler monkey gulp in fear. "Like, now people."

The three returning Genin from Team Seven shuffled quickly on by.

"Retrieval, huh?" Team Seven slowed their pace to a short stutter step in order to delay long enough to eavesdrop without seeming like they were spying.

Asuma sighed. "Yeah, remember the kidnapping a little while ago?" The silver-haired cyclops nodded once. "Well, it looks like the bastard turned up in the unclaimed lands." While his Genin seemed confused, Kakashi's eye shot wide open.

"How certain are you that there are no nukenin between you and your prey?" Asuma's brows furrowed.

"The curse?" he responded hesitantly.

Kakashi nodded again this time solemnly. "The curse."

Suddenly Asuma seemed a touch less confident than a moment before. Anko scoffed loudly then trudged up to the sentry post to report their imminent departure while Asuma turned his attention to Team Ten with a parting shoulder shrug. They'd burn that bridge once they crossed it.

"Alright Genin. Gear check!" The three of them dropped their packs to the ground and began rummaging about to pull out the bulkier items laying them out evenly on the cobblestoned ground.

~III~

Kakashi stepped up to his huddled team as Sakura hissed out a question trying not to be noticed by the angry kunoichi.

"What are they doing, Kakashi-sensei?" Her eyes were trying to peek around his extra tall frame without being seen.

"Standard packout check. It's S.O.P. for C-ranks and above expected to last longer than a week." Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly and started to move off towards Hokage Tower to report the results of their day trip. He was trying to ignore his team's varied reactions and move them along before any of them could start up more trouble.

Choji nodded as he took out a fresh bag of chips and fell in step, making a mental note to restock as he was down to two reserve bags. Sakura's jaw flapped open as she looked frantically to Sasuke for some type of reaction. All she saw was his stern profile as he tried to grind down every tooth in his mouth. Her heart went out to her not-so-secret love but, in the back of her mind, a small voice was commenting on how ugly jealousy could make even the most handsome person.

She smashed that voice ruthlessly underneath her astral heel and trudged off faithfully behind her crush.

~III~

Anko looked up from the Genin frantically repacking their gear, her eyes lingering on the blond male a bit longer than necessary as she secretly questioned his sanity and met Asuma's gaze with a silent question. The taller male exhaled a rush of air and shrugged (yet again) before delivering his verdict.

"It's about what I expected. Ino has the bare necessities and a few more extra sets of clothes than I'd like to see. Shikamaru has a textbook kit, meaning his mom probably packed it for him because he found it too troublesome." Anko snickered. Asuma sighed again as Naruto began resealing the near-five-hundred assault weapons into various storage seals located on strategic points of his body and in his metal gauntlet. "Him," he nodded to the demonic grin on the Genin's face, "he's loaded for the apocalypse."

"No such thing as under-geared!" the resident demon container roared out. Asuma blinked surprised that he heard his comment.

Anko giggled. "I did warn you about his senses." Asuma could only stare on dumbfounded. With training the boy could be a tracker also.

The Jounin had to admit he was surprised to find a number of books squirreled away in there but the Genin was inordinately protective over them allowing no one but Anko near them. Perhaps he could get him to loosen up once he'd earned some trust. Maybe he could talk to him about the platoon-sized loadout of _Stingers_ and how he got that many; Asuma's order was still six months out on Higurashi's wait list.

Instead of thinking on the shiny new toys he couldn't play with, he fired up another smoke and waited next to the still chuckling Anko as she twirled a _Stinger_ of her own. Jealous didn't begin to describe the pouting look on his face.

It took another fifteen minutes to wait for Naruto to re-stow everything but then they were on their way to the first road junction that would lead them south. As it was already late in the day, Asuma wanted to make good time until they needed to break camp so that meant a shinobi's pace through the branches with Naruto taking point. Three good hours of jumping and Team Ten found themselves being signaled to the forest floor by their sniffer once Naruto caught sight of a suitable camping site fifty yards off the main road.

"Good eyes, Naruto. Shikamaru, take care of camp." The Jounin headed deeper into the trees to light up in peace and brood some more over being _Stinger_ -less.

"Naruto – food. Ino – firewood. I'll set up the tents." Naruto nodded and popped a clone off, without seals or smoke, to help with tent staging catching the approval of their Special Jounin. With the rush of air being sucked in his wake, the blond Genin vanished into the growing shadows.

No sooner than he was gone, the clone exploded into a cloud of white smoke shocking both Anko and Shikamaru, the former whipping out a kunai and looking about for threats. When the cloud of smoke cleared, a tall woman with flowing scarlet hair was standing in the blond Genin's place. With a smile, she nodded to the spiky-headed Shikamaru then rooted around in Naruto's pack as she set up for the evening meal. First order of business appeared to be rice.

Shikamaru stood very still as she moved about, his eyes very nearly falling out of his skull.

"K-K-Kushina?" Anko's voice was barely a whisper but the woman, who could be no more than Anko's age, stopped and smiled back at her as if waiting for her to say something more. While she measured the rice from some supplies in one of Naruto's scrolls, she also unsealed a healthy batch of simple greens and mild spices, all the while humming a tender tune.

"Kushina? What the hell?! How? When? Why? What. The. FUCK!?" Anko's questions were coming too fast and the humming clone hadn't answered a one yet. Shikamaru, however, intervened to head off an explosion.

"You are not the real Kushina Uzumaki." It was a statement of fact, but the clone nodded anyway with her smile not fading one bit.

"You are correct, Shika. I am not." This did not sit well with the Nara heir and it only got worse once Ino arrived. It was hard to miss as she dropped her gathered lumber with a clatter that was one, hard to ignore, and two, thoroughly announced her confusion.

"I don't have much time before he returns." Her head cocked to one side as if she was listening to something. "He's found a healthy boar and will return after he's field dressed it."

Her eyes snapped over to Ino and then flickered down to the dried kindling at her feet. "Would you be a dear and start the fire?" That snapped her out of her funk as she numbly picked up a few pieces bringing them with her to the center of camp. Retrieving her pack shovel, Ino set about digging two circular pits, one smaller than the other before connecting them with a small trench.

The red head smiled then turned back to the other two with a pained smile on her face.

"Anko-chan, you know the pain that drove Naruto to this state, so much pain that it broke his spirit into many pieces." The purplette nodded silently and opened her mouth to presumably repeat her questions but the clone held up her palm to forestall her. "Another time and I promise I will answer all of them. I need you to be aware of something. While most of us have been returned to the fold by your father," the woman's head turned to nod at Ino as her eyes locked with the girl's ice blue pair, "there are others hiding in the shadows. They don't want to be found. Their hearts aren't quite so… forgiving." Anko winced.

The red head's eyes flicked up to the trees nervously for a second before returning to the girl. "My time is growing short. Soon I will rejoin with Naruto and be no more, but your father must find The Three." Her eyes were pleading with the long-haired blond now. "Please tell him, he must find The Three at all cost."

Her face slowly changed, her red hair shrinking and fading until it became the color of spun gold, her features becoming less smooth and more angular. Slowly her body shrunk and took on the hard edges of the younger Naruto Uzumaki but the last thing that changed was her voice as the words "The Three" faded one last time into the night sounds of the forest.

As if nothing happened, the clone blinked a few times then stood up from the pre-staged dinner only to return to the unfinished tents. Not twenty seconds after it secured the ground spikes on one side, Naruto stepped into the camp with a huge boar slung over his shoulders and a pleased grin on his face. That lasted until he noticed everyone in the camp staring between him and the clone, confusion and shock written all over their faces.

"What? You guys don't like pork?" For several minutes no one said anything, the clone pausing to glance back at him over the rising tent long enough to shrug his shoulders and shake his head.

Dinner was a very quiet affair that first night.

~III~

The next morning, Naruto rose from his shared tent leaving behind a softly snoring Shikamaru. Chuckling softly, he unsealed the fish he'd caught yesterday from a small lake before he stumbled across the boar tracks and began the morning meal. He'd learned the basics of survival cooking during his personal training away from the team and prepared a simple white porridge to go with the fresh fish.

Asuma stepped into camp having had the last watch, his eyes focusing intently on the Genin as he went about his self-appointed morning duties. When no change happened, when Naruto didn't sprout a second head and start speaking in tongues, he sat down across from him on the other side of the campfire and added a few more twigs to keep it going. Lifting the tea pot from a handy warming stone, he poured himself a fresh cup and stared one last time at the unpredictable shinobi.

Absolutely certain the boy's head wasn't going to start spinning around on its own, he focused on his morning drink and started thinking ahead to their day of travel. If they pushed, they could reach Sutirū-ōtā by late night, however, the sail to Istoria would take three days leaving them a little over a week to find Koaru. It might take them a day to reach the haven but, with Naruto's clones, they could narrow down the search time if needed. The city's clans would be their biggest hurdle.

"Mmmm, this is good tea, Naruto." Shocked by the simple complement, Naruto nodded his head in thanks.

"Anko-Sensei has been helping me with my preparation." Asuma nodded appreciatively. Who would have thought that Konoha's Snake Mistress was a tea aficionado? Before too long, the very woman in question stepped out of the female tent, stretched like an overgrown cat, then joined them around the cook fire.

Naruto tried not to heave another sigh once she started pulling the same inspection of the busy substitute chef. This was getting old and no one would explain why. Instead he changed the topic of focus.

"Sensei, what do we know about this unclaimed land of Istoria?" That appeared to snap them out of whatever funk they were both partially in to.

~III~

Asuma wanted to wait until they were traveling before, he shared what he knew about their destination and opted to start out the day at a normal pace, so everyone could talk freely. No need in repeating the same story multiple times and they were going to have to camp out at least one more time so why not? Either way, the entire squad was enraptured by the tale of a land transposed from a different time and place.

"You all know that we're headed to Istoria but what do you know about it?" Asuma was not surprised to hear Shikamaru and Ino chime in right away with answers.

"It's a free nation unaffiliated with any of the elemental kingdoms. They have a king instead of Daimyos and Kages. They export very little, but their economy is remarkably stable. The oddest thing I discovered looking through the library was that they have non-aggression pacts with everyone, and I mean everyone. They're a neutral zone and any able body that can make it is welcome provided they aren't fugitives from justice." Shikamaru's forehead was puckered up in serious thought, something Naruto noticed as he turned from the lazy Genin to follow Ino's addition.

"Daddy had access to a tiny bit more information, which he's authorized me to share with you." Asuma nodded to indicate that she should proceed.

"Istoria's capital is Orario, the Great Walled City. Anyone leaving the elemental nations will most likely head there first. With the exception of one or two other fair-sized villages, there isn't much in the rural areas or farmlands besides farmers, who largely supplement Istoria's economy. This means that our best bet will be to search Orario before moving on." Her smooth brow puckered up just like Shikamaru's did a few minutes before.

"He also said that they don't have samurai, shinobi, monks… nothing along our lines of traditional forces. Their defense is provided by a core standing militia augmented by their adventurers. The militia isn't anything special, farmers trained to fight and such, and records indicate none are powerful enough to challenge our dobe." She smirked evilly hoping to get a rise out of Naruto, a smirk that withered when he didn't react at all, at least not noticeably. "Ugh! Anyway, it's not known how their stronger adventurers compare to our shinobi, but I guess we'll find out for ourselves."

Inside she was a bit disappointed. So far Naruto hadn't bitten on any of her jibes at his expense and she was beginning to think she'd lost her mojo.

"I don't understand." Everyone turned to the quiet Genin running point, his head tilted up into the trees as he spoke over his shoulder.

"What's the deal, gaki?" He turned around to walk backwards and face his "big sister."

"If they don't export much, how do they make their money? How does their economy thrive? Unlike _Kaze no Kuni_ , Istoria doesn't appear to be a desert. It rests on a higher elevation and is separated from the arid region by a cliff that spans several hundred leagues. Also, they appear to have thousands of hectares worth of workable farmlands and forests but don't use over eighty percent of it relying on exports from Orario and trade through internal merchants." Asuma smiled seeing how he'd connected the missing dots and nodded at the additional strategic information as the blond flipped around to face their path again.

Reaching into his jacket, he pulled out three copies of Konoha's Bingo book and tossed one to each of them with a, "Here, catch!" in order to get Naruto to turn around for it.

"Read those when you have time. For now, turn to the appendix in the back and read up on what we know about Istoria, at large, and Orario in particular. While we're walking, here's the abridged version." He paused to fire up a smoke savoring the calming release as he pushed a plume of wispy smoke up into the morning sun.

"Orario thrives on its people. Adventurers are their prime economy and, given the extremely high mortality rate of these adventurers, they need a constant influx of people to keep its source of steady income flowing." Naruto tucked the book into a jacket pocket and spun back around again, his eyes settling on the trees around them while his ears tuned in to his sensei's monologue.

"You see, Orario rests smack dab on top of a multi-level dungeon that constantly spawns monsters of all sorts. Killing these monsters mines their greatest resource – _mana crystals_. The stronger the monster, the stronger the mana crystal, and those are diluted and used to power many of their unique creations, like light stones or other long-lasting power sources.

"The problem is that the dungeon, and its monsters, fight back. It is rumored that the dungeon itself is a living, breathing entity eternally spawning creatures for its defense. Additionally, the deeper you go into the dungeon, the stronger the monsters become. In the early days, before they built Babel Tower over the entrance, those monsters overflowed from the dungeon and scoured the countryside for victims." Asuma paused to take a really deep draw before continuing.

"Now here's where I draw the line on the legends surrounding Orario. It's _said_ that the gods themselves came down to Istoria and showed man how to harness the power of the dungeon, the only one of its kind and the only place these _monsters_ spawn from. It's these gods that formed a family structure about themselves, something they to this day call _Familia_ , and began staking out their respective claims leading to the early wars for clan member resources. For decades death and chaos ensued until a strong bunch of humans formed together and sued for peace among these deities. It's _said_ that these brave souls formed the first Guild and helped establish the governing rules that dictate how every person living within the walls of Orario coexist."

"Come on, sensei!" Ino was openly scoffing. "Monsters? Gods walking the earth? Tell me you don't buy into this nonsense?"

"No, not really. First rule and foremost among these 'gods' is the fact that they must forgo use of their powers while in Orario. I find that overly convenient." Asuma chuckled clearly not believing the tales.

"Despite all that, we are going there to find Koaru Aono and we will have to deal with the Guild while doing it. Gods or not, the Guild is the real power structure. Our contact is someone named Eina Tulle. She'll let us know what we can and can't do so there may be some unpleasantness involved. At a minimum, one of you may have to temporarily join a guild so we can work in peace." Asuma took another final drag before flicking the butt to the ground and stomping on it as he passed by.

"Bring your A-game kiddies. I'm told it's extremely easy to step on the toes of someone in a _Familia_ and make enemies." He glared at Ino who noticed and squawked indignantly.

"Why does everyone always look at me?!"

~III~

Another restful camp night found Team Ten a few hours away from Sutirū-ōtā. From their elevation in the high hills, Naruto could see the lights of the port town from his rocky perch. With a dozen clones spread out around their campsite, he felt at ease, relaxed.

In fact, he'd spent the last half hour reaching out with all of his senses trying to catalog everything moving within fifty yards of their camp. Small rabbits, which one of his clones bagged with a few cloned _Stingers,_ set them up for a tasty breakfast in the morning. He could hear the water splashing along the shore of the tiny lake they took turns bathing at earlier. His ears picked up various nocturnal animals rooting about but nothing overly dangerous. As the night life went about their normal routine, he took a deep breath and reeled in his senses so as not to overwhelm them with his big sister's scent as she closed in from his left side.

"Hey, gaki." She strolled up and plopped down next to him. "Turn in. It's my watch."

Naruto turned his head to begin his turnover and froze, his mouth open and eyes locked onto her light brown orbs reflecting back the abundance of moonlight. The older woman blinked a few times before her hands reached up to pat lightly at her cheeks wondering if something was stuck on her face.

"What?" The younger blond shook his head quickly, his mouth slamming shut with a click.

"Nothing. I just never realized how beautiful you are." She blushed a bright red as he stood up and brushed off his trousers. "I have a dozen clones spread out in standard clock formation twenty meters from camp. They should last another five or six hours." Before the admittedly beautiful woman could close her mouth or respond, he was gone.

Breaking camp in the morning, Team Ten found themselves entering a neat and orderly village surrounding a crystal-clear, deep-water cove. Looking out to the break water, Naruto made out two rock wall water breaks, one right after the other, forming a zig-zag entrance into port. The end result was an incredibly still harbor blocked from view if you were sailing along the coast.

"C'mon. Our ride leaves in a few hours," Asuma mumbled out striding confidently to the harbor master's office. Mid-morning found Team Ten weaving their way through the water break aboard the _Blue Mermaid_ with their gear stowed below and the team topside watching the port fall away. Shikamaru noticed the arrow slit laden alcoves inside the break with volley ports carved out for ballista and other harbor defense systems.

He also saw more than one Leaf hitai-ite gleaming in a few of those murder holes. Feeling nervous from the time they entered the seemingly quiet town, Shikamaru was never more relieved to be away from civilization as he was at that moment.

He felt as if every person there watched them from the time they walked under the welcoming arch to the time the _Mermaid_ cleared the first breakwater. It was not a pleasant feeling.

The ship's captain had commented their trip would take three full days. Knowing that he could either spend time staring up at the sky, something that appealed to him greatly, or sleep, Shikamaru chose the latter. Turning to head below he paused when he saw Naruto, who was leaning on the railing watching dolphins dance along the fast-moving ship's bow wave, bolt upright. His eyes were panicked as they scanned the water's surface. Striding to the other side of the deck, he thrust his face over the edge and searched anxiously, his body tense and alert.

"Naruto, calm down. I'm sure the boat won't sink and, even if it does, we're close enough to row back safely." His tone was light and slightly patronizing, but it took a moment for his teammate to relax and release a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, Shika. Guess you're right."

Shikamaru watched him carefully, Ino taking a minute to catch the boy's panic attack before shrugging it off and plopping down among a spool of line to read her copy of the Bingo book.

"You sure you're okay?" Shikamaru asked one last time only to get a dismissive wave in return.

"Yeah, just nerves, I guess. First time on a boat, y'know?" He chuckled again trying to ease the mood, but his eyes never relaxed nor did they cease their constant scanning of the water's choppy surface. He was looking for something but didn't feel open enough with them to share. Shikamaru nodded once then moved below. If he hurried, he could get in a good three hours before lunch and Naruto could sort out his nerves on his own.

Naruto, on the other hand never took his eyes from the water. He couldn't explain it but something big was out there. He almost missed it watching the dolphins play as they were. He admired their freedom, the absolute joy in their movement when something large, extremely large, swam underneath the boat its body nothing more than an elongated silhouette as it glided effortlessly through the deep blue depths. It was the panicked scattering of the dolphins as it passed that drew his eye, the sudden burst of frothy red seawater as a chewed flipper floated to the surface in its passing minus the rest of the dolphin.

Whatever it was, it was larger than the boat they were currently using as transportation and that worried him.

It must have submerged before coming out the other side of the hull, but he'd felt a tug at the base of his neck after Shika went below causing his hand to shoot up absently to rub the back of his neck. He'd felt the sensation a few times back in Konoha since Kenshin placed the new seal there, all a similar kind of tugging at the base of his neck. This pull, however, was much stronger than anything he'd experienced in Konoha. It was powerful, enough to make his head pulse with the beginnings of a major headache.

Kenshin had warned about that as well. He cautioned that a powerful enough entity might be able to overcome the anti-summoning seal if it tried hard enough to claim him. For now, it should be enough to protect him from the four crazy women trying to imprison him in the Red-Light District.

So far it had worked twice, and they hadn't tried since. This was different though. He could almost feel the colossal hand of power trying to reach around his neck and yank him through the ether and it scared him.

It wasn't dark and malevolent like the sensation he got from that first time. If anything, it seemed curious. Just a light tug on his chakra network then it was gone. He gulped as he dreaded what a serious attempt would do to him and whether it would try again. His thoughts, however, got sidetracked as Anko distracted him from his worrying death spiral.

"Oi! That's a good idea, gaki. Come give big sis a neck rub!"

His eyes snapped up from the water finally with a smile. It wasn't the first time she'd asked for one and he had to admit he wasn't too horrible at it. Ignoring the chuckles and cat calls from the sailors thumping about on bare feet, Naruto plopped down behind her on a crate and proceeded to knead her hardened shoulders working his way up and down the length of her supple neck. She'd rolled her collar down enough to give him access and he tried, he really did _try_ , to keep his eyes off the swelling curves of her cleavage as she leaned back into him and rested her arms over the tops of his thighs. Her body mesh did nothing to hide the smoothness of her skin or the shape of her body and that was a problem sometimes.

He wasn't supposed to think the thoughts he did about her.

Her appreciative moans also made it hard for his mind not to wander a little. Tearing his eyes from her partially-revealed chest, he looked up around the deck and decided to complete the rub down by feel instead of ogling her body. He was less likely to get stabbed that way. Instead his deep blue orbs landed on Ino, who had interrupted her reading and was watching him work, her eyes taking in every movement of his fingers as they rolled and worked the stiff muscles from the incredibly verbal Special Jounin. He almost laughed out loud, but it would have ruined Anko's mood.

The girl was visibly jealous, her lips pursed in displeasure as one hand clamped on to her own shoulder.

' _Let her stew for a bit_. _'_ Naruto smiled blissfully into the late morning sun.

~III~

Hiruzen Sarutobi was not having a good day. Worst of all, it had nothing to do with the inordinately large stack of paper work trying to spontaneously multiply atop his desk. Instead, it centered solely on the ancient pair of people standing before his wooden bastion of power, people that he used to call teammates and now wanted so very desperately to strangle so very much.

"Hiruzen, I see no reason why this should be a strenuous decision. Test the boy and, if the test proves true, we can begin preparations to establish the CRA. This should be no different than any other shinobi under your command." Mitokado Homura's pinched face, his eyes squinted to near slits behind an oval pair of green glasses, seemed to have difficulty grasping his former teammate's reluctance. If the thin line of his lips were to thin any further, Hiruzen swore his beard was going to swallow his hairless upper lip. His female teammate, now also advisor to the Hokage, was fairing no better.

Hiruzen couldn't help but wonder what these two fossils did all day. They were both gray and wrinkled like dusty prunes, their moods equally bitter, but he forced himself to listen to their latest assault on his sanity.

"Surely you must see things our way, Hiruzen. It's not as if the boy will find willing brides with his reputation." The familiarity rankled the ancient leader, but it was to be expected. They were Team Tobirama decades ago and a certain level of familiarity was expected at their age. It wasn't like he could take away their rice pudding as punishment.

"I will deal with the CRA when he is of the appropriate age and not before." They'd been at this argument for over an hour and Hiruzen was craving a drink, or ten. It had been almost four days of constant badgering from completely out of nowhere and it all reeked of a plot.

It all smelled of Danzo's greedy mitts.

~III~

Magnus could not believe his good fortune. He'd found one, or, more likely he'd stumbled across one blindly, but the favor would be his nonetheless.

Another powerful stroke, another graceful twist of his body through the water propelled him onward effortlessly. With almost decadent ease, he slipped his sleek form through the waves no longer content to lazily glide in the warm currents. He had a destination and a purpose now.

A _siren_ walked among them once again. No, not just a _siren_ , this was a full-fledged _Walker._

Cresting the surface to purge his massive lungs, Magnus dove deep enough to breach the thermal layer. Warmer currents felt nicer, but he needed to push on and the cooler water kept his enormous frame from overheating through prolonged exertion and he had so very far to go. The sandy shores of the desert region, the _Land of Wind_ if he was not mistaken, were still in view which meant he had many leagues left to travel and this simply could not wait. Sure he could release himself from this plane and return home but he was far too excited. His thoughts needed to be clear as a cavern pool first.

Today was far to momentous an occasion.

At his normally very leisurely pace, he could remain below the water's rippled surface for an hour or more but today demanded much more of the mighty Magnus. He would need to remain focused and aware of the rats as they sailed above his domain lest carelessness complicate their existence, the whole contingency of a broken allegiance.

His mind kept rolling over and over again the sensation, the tingles, the _calling_. Among their kind, the calling was few and far between over recent cycles of the seasons, the things humans measured the passage of time with. Bubbles of his laughter burst from his great maw and shot to the surface as his mirth tickled his sleek belly.

' _Focus, Magnus. Deal with the Clutch first, then we can ridicule those land-cursed rats in their mediocrity.'_

The fact that the _Walker_ ranked as one of their feeble race never reduced the siren to the level of a common human. Never that. A _Walker_ was a _Walker_ after all. They were bonded through the blood, linked through all time and, after several cycles of the human world, they would be joined once again.

To think he'd almost missed it. It was laughable as he looked back on it his humor sparking another fit of what could only be called giggling, a larger burst of bubbles shooting to the surface as several _Selachii_ scattered in his passing. It was rather difficult to contain his excitement, after all. His clan had waited and waited since the _Breaking_ of their summoners.

This was beyond big. Given that Magnus measured fifty human meters from tip to tail, he had a good idea of what constituted as "big."

It started with the call, that soothing pull on his chakra from the hereditary ties to that precious bloodline. Everyone from that clan possessed it. They were still tied to both the Uzumaki and the branch Senju. So long as even one member of the royal family still walked the earth, they stayed tied to the clan. He, more than any other, knew the pull as his wanderings farther and farther away from what used to be the ancestral nest had brought him to distant shores in search for more of the call. Any instance was a pulsing beacon of hope.

Now it was to be known that not every Uzumaki possessing the blood was a _Walker_. Only the deep line, the royal blood, held that claim but any true blood of the clan could call to the _Umihebi_. There were just too few left and the rest of his _Clutch_ were beginning to falter, to lose hope.

Many of the few hatched ones remaining had surrendered to their withering, their once bright scales dimming as hope faded but not Magnus. He'd first felt the calling along the sandy shores he now jealously prowled. There was one far in the deep sands and one nestled in green hills further east, too far to summon alone and the pull was too faint, too infrequent to convince the others let alone _Poseidus._ _Never_ that one. They would not stir from their lethargy for whispers along the winds of a dying land.

He'd followed this wooden intruder into his domain once before, and many times since then, intent on crushing it. He was very grateful now to have abstained from such a rash action and good fortune now smiled on their clan.

They could not ignore this. This _Walker_ rode the waves to that dismal place along the most southern shores of that barren wasteland. Were they seeking shelter? Were the hateful rock chewers persecuting them? The _Umihebi_ were needed once again! Their scion was in jeopardy and action was needed!

Curiosity peaked, Magnus had approached the ship to perhaps get a closer look. He wanted to be sure before returning to the _Clutch_. The pull was stronger, much stronger than anything before but still not that of a _pureblood,_ so he'd begun to despair. Seeing as the frail wooden vessel had drawn his favorite snack, he'd taken heart of this encounter as a good sign despite the hatchling's lineage. Resolving to snatch one of the smooth-skinned leapers in passing, he'd nearly missed the taint, that malignant power of fire and hate, as suppressed as it had been.

Once it hit, the shock threw off his aim and one of the creature's fins was severed in the frothing churn of his bite. His body curled beneath the waves as the gracefully-powerful neck snapped his muzzle towards the surface.

On impulse, sheer elation, he reached out with just the barest tug on that bright beacon of deep blue chakra only to find a barrier. _The Walker was protected by a seal!_ True, the seal was weak, but he'd only wanted to test the waters, so to speak. The blood was young, a hatchling in itself and perhaps not prepared to brave the waters. To summon them below the waves was to possibly doom it to an early demise. The seal confirmed what he needed and that was enough, for now.

It was there without question. The undeniable tether to the royal line. It was a _Walker_ , the carrier of the _Great Burden_ rode upon that wooden deathtrap.

It was then that Magnus pointed his snout to the ancient home of Uzushiogakure and surged forward in a plume of churning water.

This news could wait no further. His aimless days of wandering were at an end.

~III~

Ino was staring at the proffered handkerchief with a huff on her face, her eyes bouncing back and forth from the dingy cloth to the gap-toothed sailor smirking down at the blond girl curled up once again on her favorite bail of rope (she refused to call it a line since, in her book, rope was rope).

"Take it girlie," the one everyone lovingly called "Cookie" garbled out. "Ye stare any harder an' the poor lad'll be starkers afore we reach land." Cookie apparently hailed from this Istoria they were bound for and his speech was brutal enough to decipher without the chuckling.

His meaning was clear enough, however, and she waved off the assistance as her gaze swiveled back to the source of Cookie's amusement.

She'd been trying to read the bingo book section on Istoria the second day of their voyage. She'd been topside enjoying the warm sun and steady trade winds. She'd been peaceably minding her own business. Then _he_ burst on the scene in all his distracting… _tanness!_

If she was willing to be honest, he was there first. When she came topside, Naruto had been wrapping up what he called a modified morning exercise routine, which translated to a reduced exercise routine since he couldn't do everything he normally did on a small boat. Cookie, who had prepared breakfast for the crew then come topside afterwards for his morning smoke, had been there pretty much from the start.

He was also more than willing to share the details of said routine despite not knowing the names of any of the exercises. He just described them as colorfully as he could, say for instance Naruto apparently being able to run up one side of the main mast and down the other without falling or hurting himself. When Cookie asked the boy "what in tarnation had squirreled its way up his bum," the grinning Genin had responded exuberantly with "the fresh sea air!" then excused himself to continue his sprints. His sprints just happened to be straight up and straight down the mast using only his feet no hands.

Ino had seen more advanced shinobi do something similar but she had a hard time believing Naruto knew the technique before both her and Shikamaru. She wanted to ask him to demonstrate once, but he was still working out when she arrived topside and the exercise he was doing had short-circuited her brain.

Standing on his hands while the ship bobbed about, both shirt-less and shoe-less, Naruto was doing handstand pushups. According to his count, he finished up at five hundred then flipped lightly onto his feet, his arms, chest and neck flushed pink with fresh blood.

She sat there, on her spool of rope, drooling hence Cookie's earlier offer to help her wipe her gaping mouth.

Grinning like the loon he was, Naruto turned about to face the emerging crew and greeted his latest acquaintances, the sailors of the _Blue_ _Mermaid_. As of yesterday afternoon, he'd ingratiated himself with the amicable crew and asked if he could learn whatever they could teach him about their trade. A few easy smiles, some casual joking and they'd folded him right into the mix. At the moment, he was learning how to ties knots in short lengths of rope Fergus was calling a _sheet_. Later on, as the hours waned in the day, it would probably devolve into the same spectacle she saw last night; the crew sang, danced, smoked (pipes) and wrestled as Cookie played a weird musical instrument that expanded and contracted like a collapsible lung and whined like a dying mule.

It made absolutely no sense, but Naruto was able to follow right along. Ino guessed stupid was as stupid did and Naruto was "among his kind" so she let it be. Unfortunately, her eyes never left his wide back and quickly bronzing shoulders the whole time, no matter how often she silently invoked Sasuke's name.

Cookie merely chuckled and wandered off to start lunch. The day was getting on after all.

 **~ Day 3 At Sea: Nearing the Port City of Melen, Istoria ~**

The morning began just like the previous one. Naruto trained. Ino (not-so) secretly drooled. Cookie predictably teased her over it.

As the blond Genin once again dumped a bucket of salt water over his head to rinse away the sweat, their senseis trudged out onto the deck dragging a reluctant Shikamaru up along with them. Naruto could tell he was cross considering the guy only surfaced for meals and cloud watching in the crow's nest.

"Captain says we'll put in late morning," Asuma started out, his head nodding to the hazy land mass off in the distance. "We're supposed to be meeting with a Guild rep in the port town of Melen and traveling under their escort by carriage to Orario. To that end, we'll only spend enough time in port to clean off the salt and stink," several heads turned to Naruto who scowled in return, "then hit the road. No dawdling, get me?"

Three heads nodded in return.

"Have you three decided who is going to join a guild if push comes to shove?" The more details were planned out, the smoother this would go in the long run.

Shikamaru nodded and hitched a thumb towards the other male Genin. "If _Familia_ focus on dungeon crawling and combat, Naruto is best suited among us to that role. If things really get bad, he can summon up his own back up as well. If we have to, maybe we can find a healing guild for Ino. It might help her with her studies. I will stay linked up with our Guild rep and learn as much as I can about the rules and regulations of Orario."

Asuma and Anko both nodded at Shikamaru's foresight.

 **~ Day 3: Capital City of Orario, Istoria ~**

"I'm not a fool, _Beissoz_ , despite what you think." The dark-eyed man, although kneeling before the towering figure, glared up through the parted bangs of his equally dark green hair. Humility had never really been a strong suit with him, but he needed the fool to continue his personal operations until he could find a way to start his own _Familia._ Once that small detail had been taken care of, he could finally remove his only obstacle (his eyes swung to the shadowed figure in the corner of the _Set Familia_ audience chamber) then he could finally be rid of this pompous fool that labeled himself a kami.

Gritting his teeth and trying to play the servile gang member, _Beissoz_ , spared a single glance for the brown-haired family member kneeling next to him and leaked a sigh through gnashing teeth. The words of an angry god drew his eyes back to the raised platform as he tried to suppress his disdain.

"I normally turn a blind eye to your," his tirade slowed but the piercing gaze remained unflinching, "activities. You bring in badly-needed valis and a much-needed boost to our foundling _Familia_." His eyes drew down to slits in the olive canvas of his smooth complexion. "It in no way provides you with immunity from the Guild nor the pantheon and what scorches the earth beneath your feet threatens the roots of this house."

The heavily-muscled patron stepped down from the dais and _Beissoz_ tensed for a brief moment, his right hand twitching instinctively towards the umbrella strapped across his back.

"Solve this problem with the Guild, child. Do not make me regret giving you my blessing."

Once again, Aoi Rokushō, under the pseudonym Beissoz, bobbed his head in deference to the arrogant sod lording his status over him. Like the fools in Amegakure, like the fools in Konohagakure, he would learn what a grave mistake it was to betray the _Hand of the Thunder God_. Rising from his servile pose, Aoi clucked his teeth to get his companion moving.

"Let's go, Snorri(*)." The brown-haired boy wearing still-new light plate stood without a word and fell into step behind his big brother, nervous hands automatically adjust the leather strap across his chest keep his short blade strapped snugly to his back.

The sooner he could get out from under this man's boot, the sooner they could drop their false identities. The Guild was the real power here and this soft city was just ripe for the taking.

Once Set could no longer feel his children's presence, he turned his chiseled features to look over his left shoulder immediately gaining the attention of his faithful long-time servant. "Watch them, Seti. His associate has drawn too much attention from outsiders. There will come a time where we will have to distance ourselves from these two and we must make sure their stench does not cling to us."

The shadow figure bowed at the waist, his entire body garbed in flowing midnight silks revealing only a pair of steel grey eyes. Just as silently as Aoi's companion, he strode from the chamber via another route and into the morning light of Orario City.

 **~ Late Friday Morning: Approaching Melen Harbor ~**

Mid-morning came sooner than the crew of the _Mermaid_ wanted to admit. This rough and tumble crew stood gathered around the main deck as the Captain, Asuma, Anko and Shikamaru stood up by the helm watching them cheer on the contestants high above the wooden planks.

Most of the preparations for entering port had been completed, as is good and proper for any seasoned crew of mariners. This last task, the securing of the main mast, had been put off so that the crew could say its final farewell to the rowdy blond shinobi they'd unofficially made their mascot. Ino, standing among the alternatively sniffling and cheering sea dogs, was standing at the base of the main mast with her arms hanging limply at her sides in utter disbelief.

She'd been flabbergasted, her mouth wide open and head tilted back as far as it would go from the moment the contest started. Naruto Uzumaki, the dead last, the ultimate dobe of her graduating class, had proven himself far again ahead of her and the fact had knocked her senseless.

The contest was simple. Naruto and _Blinkers,_ the crow's nest lookout, lined up on either side of the main mast. The contest, once Cookie shouted "go!" was to scale the mast as quickly (and safely since there were no safety nets) and secure one half of the main mast. Since there were two cross mains, the first up the mast got to choose which one to work on first so speed mattered as one cross main rested an additional ten meters above the first. Competitors could use the iron pegs driven into the mast to climb it as it was too broad a beam to reach around by hand. The first to haul up each section of their sail and rig it to the horizontal cross main beam won.

 _Blinkers_ , called that due to his unnerving ability to keep his eyes open for extended periods of time, had never lost this challenge since he won the post as ship lookout.

Ino was chuckling as the two contestants lined up. Despite knowing it was coming, she still jumped when Cookie shouted and the two were off. Standing where she was, she could see both of them and that was when her jaw fell immediately open watching Naruto shoot up the mast without using his hands. Barefoot and shirtless like all the other sailors, his feet slapped lightly against the well-seasoned wood of the main mast and carried him straight to the higher cross main.

From there on, it was skill against skill with one exception. Naruto was hanging upside from the underside of the cross main, some thirty meters above the deck, by the balls of his feet as he hustled across the cross main from one side to the other.

Realistically, with his well-trained body and chakra to strengthen his movements, _Blinkers_ never stood a chance, but the crew cheered them both on all the same. In due time, the spectacle ended forcing Naruto to begin the tedious farewell process, each of the crew's members rubbing the blond mop of hair that now hung loosely about his shoulders and patting him good naturedly across the back. Ino swore she caught Anko wiping a wet spot from the corner of her eye once only for the brusque kunoichi to appear statue-like and emotionless the moment she fully turned to inspect her. Shrugging it off, the slightly jealous kunoichi resolved to get her selfish teammate to start sharing some of his training secrets once they were done with this mission.

Eventually lines were hauled over to the pier as dock hands heaved and pulled, some weaving a line or two across bollards to keep the boat in place as others looped theirs across the horns of heavy oxen to help them heave the ship in close to the wooden pier. Once secured, the oxen were moved to the previous lines and the process repeated. The Genin watched in fascination, their gear slung over their shoulders as they waited for the brow to finally go over. Then something caught Ino's eye.

Standing on the pier shouting orders in a similar language was a tall slender man with the tanned body of a sailor dressed in loose-fitting blue and white shorts. With a shirt wrapped around his waist and a towel looped over his broad shoulders, Ino's breath caught in her throat as her ice-blue eyes locked onto his nearly flawless features. He was beautiful.

Long chocolate brown hair that matched his large and welcoming eyes was tied into a worker's ponytail keeping it out of his face as he yelled up to the ship's Captain asking basic information about their length of stay and intended departure. His laughter was easy, as easy on the soul as his form was on the eyes. Naruto? Naruto who? She promptly forgot the rough-edged blond she'd been fantasizing about for the last five days and leaned heavily on the railing, apparently next to an equally fascinated Anko.

Asuma let loose an annoyed sigh at the two twitter-painted women and instead slid over the Captain to listen to their conversation without the heaving sighs drowning out their words.

His name was Njord, and he was the leader of the _Njord Familia_ in Melen. The dock they'd tied up to, and every other one in the port town of Melen, was his responsibility. The young man in the long-sleeved half-shirt crouching next to him on the pier as Rod, his right-hand man and second in charge. If they needed anything to do with water transportation, these two were apparently the ones to seek.

Anko and Ino had absolutely no issue with that.

Asuma tipped his brow in thanks and the surprisingly young _Familia_ leader nodded back with an easy smile before turning to stroll off to another pier where a larger cargo freighter was making berth.

"He has a favor to ask o' ye, Shinobi-san." Asuma had given up on the honorifics three days ago and simply raised an eyebrow in the direction of the salty-bearded sea dog. "That youngin' be havin' a parcel Lord Njord is wantin' to make its way to Orario. He's hopin' ye be willin' an able and he'll pay one-thousand valis fer it." The man's garbled speak took some getting used to but the gist was simple enough.

"And to whom does it need to go to?" The ferry Captain grinned bright and bold as this would earn him a small favor with _Njord Familia_.

"Ye be lookin' fer a Chloe Rollo, a dark-haired waitress at the Hostess of Fertility Inn. Can't miss the pointy ears atop her noggin' and the cat's tail from 'er, ahem." The good Captain left it at that as he walked away form a rapidly-blinking Asuma. Flagging down the crouching youth on the pier, he thumbed a hand at the bearded Jounin and gave a quick thumb's up as he left to tend to the final berthing of his boat.

Once the wooden plank touched down, the ship literally exploded with hands looking to enjoy liberty in port before the ship set sail the following day. Team Ten, after receiving a small box from Njord's representative, was promptly greeted by a pink-haired woman with eyes a slightly darker shade of the same unusual color. All three Genin had to resist the urge to ask if she had relatives in Konoha, an annoying female from their class in particular, as she came smartly to a stop in front of them and bowed at the waist.

"Welcome to Istoria! My name is Misha Flott, a Guild representative from Orario and I shall accompany you there once you've had a chance to freshen up a bit." Her smile was radiant, her gloved hands clasped together professionally before her neatly pressed outfit of dark grey slacks, matching vest and ruffled tie over a long-sleeved white shirt with ruffles around the wrists. One hand shot up to indicate the public baths located at the end of the pier, one with several armored individuals barring entry to people and shuffling them on.

"The Guild has taken the liberty to secure a bath for your use until we are ready to depart. Please, make yourselves comfortable." As they strolled off, Ino couldn't help noticing the young lady's eyes locking onto Naruto's still bare and heavily-tanned upper body. Although her head was still bowed, the blush on her cheeks was unmistakable.

Never mind that she was busy looking for that tall drink of water named Njord and that her frantic search as they headed off to freshen up was the only reason that she noticed. Realizing that the girl's interest could not have been solely professional, jealous Ino began to rear her green-eyed head and Njord soon found his memory stuffed to the back of the mental dungeon.

Naruto, the joyous sailors now a fading memory and refusing to lower his guard now that they were land-locked again, counted off the stocky bearded male shorter than him and the tall grey-haired male with both suspicion and surprise. Was that tail waving lazily behind the latter person? He was so preoccupied he failed to notice the almost identical pair of scantily-clad bronzed women standing in front of the lady's entrance, their piercing gazes quickly evaluating the three young ones and rapidly disregarding the darker-haired male with the oddly-shaped hairdo and the younger female, also blond, as viable physical threats. Both their eyes returned to the stocky male with the lion's mane of golden hair and did not leave his gracefully padding form until his back disappeared behind the dividing wall that hid the bath's male inner sanctuary from sight.

 _Loki Familia_ had a mission to perform after all in addition to their escort duty.

"Riveria, did you see?" The first woman's voice was almost guttural, almost like a gentle rumble as she turned to the pointy-eared woman with teal-colored hair standing with her sister next to the female's entrance to the baths.

"Yes, Tione, I saw. Remember our focus. Observe and report, nothing more. Loki herself will decide if any of them are worthy to join us." The Amazonian woman nodded even as her nose wrinkled up cutely in consternation. The blond boy was dangerous. The way he moved, the way he took in everything around him. The way he sniffed with his nose as if testing the air. He was a hunter among sheep.

Hunters she didn't know tended to worry her.

~III~

At roughly the same time, another _Familia_ was having its own troubles back in Orario. Consisting of only two members, the _Familia_ 's goddess and her sole family member, they were both running for the lives on Deidalus Street in near a large festival. They were running because a silverback was loose trying to make a late-morning snack out of the both of them and he was giving them a good run for their money.

 _Hestia Familia_ was one of the poorer groups in the city of Orario. Too poor to own a fancy mansion or even a poor hovel, they worked and scrimped to make ends meet and survived in the hidden basement of an abandoned church courtesy of the goddess's long-time friend (another goddess) named Hephaestus, the goddess of the forge.

Hestia didn't have the resources her friend had. Hephaestus owned an army of smiths and could marshal massive resources. Her shops sold top tier weapons and armor rivaling _Goibinu Familia_ , another top-tier crafting guild, and commanded nearly a dozen floors for their shops in Babel Tower.

But that was them. Hestia was the virgin goddess of the hearth, architecture, and the right ordering of domesticity (the family, the home, and the state). She had no hearth to speak of (beyond her hidden basement apartment) and working as an architect gave her headaches. Face it, she was lazy. The domesticity thing was pointless until she either had a family of her own, something she couldn't do as a spirit in the walking flesh since she could not bear children, or she grew her _Familia_ large enough to give her something new to focus on.

None of that mattered at the moment. At the moment, they were streaking through Deidalus Street. Well, the white-haired, crimson-eyed teenager was running for his life and Hestia was cradled snugly in his arms trying not to swallow her ears with the smiling blush taking over her face. Were they involved in a precarious life and death situation of epic proportions? Sure, but she was being carried princess style in the arms of her precious follower, or child as the gods and goddesses of Orario referred to them. It wasn't a familial relationship, just a term used to reflect the parental link from the gods to their precious humans. Nothing more. Otherwise her personal thoughts at the moment would have condemned her to the lowest layers of the Abyss.

So, forget the raging blush on the scantily-clad goddess as her follower tried frantically to save her life from the enraged yeti nearly three meters in height. Forget that his only weapon had broken against its reinforced hide the one time he'd stood up to the beast to defend her life, hence his desperate sprint through Orario slums.

She was happy as she clutched the delicately-wrapped parcel to her ridiculously over-proportioned bosom.

Now if she could only remember why she felt that something was slipping her mind, something very important…

~III~

* * *

 _ **Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom**_

 _ **by Minato Namikaze**_

 _ **Chapter 3: A One-Trick Pony is a Dead Pony**_

 _Impressive. You've survived Chapters 1 & 2 and you're still reading. You must be serious about this Shinobi thing, huh?_

 _Good._

 _This next chapter is, without a doubt, the most important chunk of time you will spend in pursuit of that goal. Don't believe me? Okay then, let us see just how serious you are then._

 _Name three shinobi that specialize in only one particular technique and have risen to prominence in the shinobi world. By rising to prominence, I mean reaching Kage-level strength._

 _Can't do it, can you?_

 _There is a good reason for that. Shinobi that rely on a single style of fighting or technique or jutsu have failed, been defeated, or have died long before fame and fortune fell their way. You need only look at the Kage of today to see that powerful ninjutsu alone is not enough. You need only look at past Hokages in Konoha to see the truth._

 _Even with enormous bloodline strength, they were ruthless combatants well-versed in taijutsu, shurikenjutsu, bukijutsu, bojutsu, and numerous tradecraft vital to building mainline shinobi of virtue and talent. Adaptable to any situation, able to adopt different techniques to defeat a wide range of foes, the message, by now, should be clear._

 _Master the basics, master your specialty, then master something new. Once you're done with that, keep going until you run out of things to learn._

 _For every strength, there is a weakness. For every strong taijutsu master, there is an equally strong shurikenjutsu master. For every wind, there is fire. For every fire, there is water. The cycle is never-ending._

 _He who is capable of adapting, wins. He who fails to adapt, fades away._

~III~

* * *

A/P.S.: (*) Snorri is clearly an alias. The name comes from the Icelandic historian, poet and politician Snorri Sturlson who gathered as much of Viking lore that he could and consolidated it into a book he called _The Prose Edda._ Reference courtesy of Wikipedia and norse-mythology dot net.

~III~


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** On with the Nukenin Arc. Also, I've added a poll to my profile since the CRA has reared its ugly head. I'd rather not go with the vanilla pairings, so I've left it up to the readers. You have up to five choices. Don't see a lovely lady you want to add? PM me and we'll see what the group thinks.

Note that I've included crossover faces and intentionally opened it up to kunoichi from other villages even though the politics will make things _troublesome._

 **Mr. Paw Paw:** Thank you.

 **Fuyuriku:** That addendum at the bottom of the chapter isn't supposed to be a link. It's a citation to where I found the reference for Koaru's alias in case anyone was curious about Norse mythology. It's also good practice to properly cite a source for your writing and I try to stay in the habit.

 **Unknown Writer:** I was going to answer this in-story but I couldn't really find a good spot in this section. Therefore, I'll answer it up-front. How did Shikamaru and Ino know who Kushina Uzumaki is and what she looks like?

It's not a difficult stretch of the imagination really. First off, while Shikamaru is exceedingly intelligent they are both smart students, Ino being second only to the pink-Brainiac in book smarts. Iruka, their homeroom teacher, was actually quite good at his job, which consisted mostly of teaching shinobi history and basic _ninjutsu_ (chakra manipulation and Genin-level applications). His history course included notable shinobi through time, especially notable kunoichi like Tsunade Senju and Kushina Uzumaki, the final royal to the Uzushio Uzumaki and the sole Uzumaki living in Konoha as part of whatever exchange deal was arranged between the two villages as part of their ongoing alliance (that is why Kushina came to Konoha and attended the academy instead of being fully educated in Uzushiogakure).

Oddly enough, Naruto references that same class in Chapter 4, which I still need to go back and edit following **Fuyuriku's** kind email. I drop breadcrumbs throughout my chapters tying things together like that.

Despite Shikamaru's overwhelming laziness, it actually takes a considerable amount of effort to be so lazy and still pass the academy. You have to actually know the answers before you can selectively and successfully score enough points not to fail (thereby avoiding having to deal with your troublesome mother). It is not unreasonable to expect Konoha academy classes to have pictures of the only other Kage-level kunoichi to have lived in Konoha at the time Tsunade did. Shikamaru was merely connecting the dots after Naruto's announcement in Chapter 8 that he was the sole surviving Uzumaki clan member still in Konoha. From then on, it isn't a huge effort for the pineapple-headed boy to put two and two together.

His comment about her not being _the_ Kushina Uzumaki happened fairly closely to Ino's return to camp (she wasn't all that far away to begin with) and served two purposes: 1) It clued her in to roughly what the conversation was going to be about (or so one could assume) and, 2) it mainly served as Shikamaru trying to convince himself that this was in fact not the real Kushina and instead a henge used by the clone. We the readers know it to be a bit more than that. Shika does not.

Being a little shocked at the choice in appearance and her cryptic warning, he's probably still struggling with the event as he tries to make heads or tails of it.

Well, I've blabbed enough. Back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Note: Edited 22 Jan 2019 to clean up grammar and spelling errors missed by autocorrection. Hopefully, the story flows a little better now.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own the Narutoverse nor the Istoriaverse and I am truly saddened by this.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 10: Strangers in a Strange Land**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

" _Solve this problem with the Guild, child. Do not make me regret giving you my blessing."_

 _Once again, Aoi Rokushō, under the pseudonym Beissoz, bobbed his head in deference to the arrogant sod lording his status over him. Like the fools in Amegakure, like the fools in Konohagakure, he would learn what a grave mistake it was to betray the Hand of the Thunder God. Rising from his servile pose, Aoi clucked his teeth to get his companion moving._

" _Let's go, Snorri." The brown-haired boy wearing still-new light plate stood without a word and fell into step behind his big brother, nervous hands automatically adjust the leather strap across his chest keeping his short blade strapped snugly to his back._

 _The sooner he could get out from under this man's boot, the sooner they could drop their false identities. The Guild was the real power here and this soft city was just ripe for the taking._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Orario City: Babel Tower, Dungeon Levels 1 - 4 ~**

Aoi plodded along at a leisurely pace, his ears attuned to the sound of stone crackling and crumbling from the light blue walls of their normal dungeon crawl. The "crawling" process was relatively simple. The Ame Jounin would paralyze monsters using _senbon_ dipped in paralytic venom. His sniveling lackey, Koaru, would hack at whatever helpless monster they came across then carve out the mana stone buried deep in the poor beast's chest cavity. So long as they stayed on the upper levels, it was a sure-fire method for powering up the weakling civilian. The only thing Aoi neglected to take into account was the snail-like pace that Koaru's attributes increased at.

Two months now and it was murder on the older man's nerves.

It seemed that failing to actually battle with any of the creepy monsters didn't provide large amounts of excellia and that meant Koaru was lucky if he gained a dozen points a day total, even after spending all day in the stupid dungeon.

The green-haired nukenin tried not to sigh as the pathetic boy struggled with the leaking chest cavity of another kobold. The dog-headed humanoid menaces barely crested Aoi's thigh but a pack of them could bring a world of trouble. He'd nearly lost several cartridges of senbon needles his first week in this place until he got the hang of their swarming habits and he still wasn't sure if he'd found the last of his stray ammunition.

 _Hephaestus Familia_ blacksmiths figured out how to make more easily enough but their prices made frequent restocking impossible. Smiths in Orario were a little _too proud_ of their craftsmanship so Aoi figured it best to just be careful with how often and how many he used. He would need to sneak into Kaze no Kuni to restock when he could. Perhaps the old man running his _Familia_ would allow him to take enough time away to make a trip soon.

So, lost in thought was he that he nearly missed the telltale signs of more monsters "birthing" fully-formed from the dungeon's pale walls and floors, the stone splitting and dropping away as bulbous-headed goblins emerged to claim their lives using spindly arms tipped with wicked claws.

"Snorri! To me!" Koaru's head snapped up from his latest trophy and dashed over a still groggy goblin before running past Aoi to press his back directly against his mentor. Fumbling with his blade, he managed to draw it out (without cutting himself this time) to clumsily brandish it away from his chest. As soon as Aoi felt he was safely in place, he thrust his umbrella into the air and let fly with a single tiger seal before hissing out [ _Jouro Senbon_ ].

The umbrella began to spin, another cartridge of fifty senbon emptying into the dark air of the dungeon layer peppering every humanoid starting a meter out from Aoi's body to the walls of the spacious room they had been working in.

Aoi sighed once the last goblin fell to the earth twitching. It was going to be hell gathering as many of those needles up as he could in the dim lighting available. He set off to help Koaru collect the stones this time. They couldn't afford too many more ambushes because he was too slow to work efficiently.

Ah, the harsh life of a nukenin.

~III~

Shikamaru and Naruto were both seated lotus fashion on the floor of the rough-riding carriage. As transportation went, it wasn't anything fancy but it was sturdily made. With two benches big enough for two people to sit comfortably without rubbing against one another, three if you liked sweaty flesh pressed against someone else in a not-so-pleasant fashion, the two boys had opted to sit on the floor facing the carriage doors with their backs leaning against one another for mutual support. Both were seated quietly meditating in an effort to regulate their breathing in the stifling interior and reduce the amount of body sweat generated as the caravan plowed onward towards Orario.

One thing to be said about Istoria, it was a touch warmer than Hi no Kuni and they'd been ecstatic to learn that their trip to Orario would take them a day and a half away from the muggy port of Melen. Naruto had nearly burst into a walking ball of sweat once they left the showers. With the steady trek northward and into the higher elevations, the humidity was slowly falling away as the temperature began to drop with the setting sun.

With his eyes closed and every window and curtain in the coach flung wide open, Naruto focused on his senses and reached outwards listening to the idle sounds of the caravan. He could hear the general conversation between Ino, Anko and Misha, the Guild rep, as the new pinkette tried to explain to them the basics of life in Orario (she was asking them to be patient) as their permanent hostess, Eina Tulle, would answer all of their questions in much greater detail. Feeling that conversation slowing to a stop (and her pink eyes settling on his hunched shoulders once again), Naruto moved out past the coach and channeled a trickle of chakra to his ears.

To him it was a trickle but to the shinobi riding with him in the coach and to the sensitive adventurer escorts Misha introduced them to, it was a beacon of power a blind person could find at fifty paces. Even Misha had no problems picking it up as every hair on her body stood on end and her skin tingled.

Both Kenshin and Kyuubi sweat dropped, the former swearing to resume his chakra control exercises once they were out of Istoria again.

Naruto's ears picked up the conversation between their escorts in the cart behind them just before it cut off suddenly. One had been about to ask someone named Riveria if she was sure about Loki's… then the question died off presumably because of the steady stream of foreign power pouring out of the carriage ahead of their cart. The grey-haired dog boy actually picked up a wicked looking metal glove tipped with claws before the pointy-eared female extended an arm and shook her head negatively.

It was then that Naruto realized that he could almost see them, well, blue images of them with barely any chakra circulating through their bodies. Instead, they had a golden ball of energy swirling in their chests where their hearts should have been, each ball holding different colored motes swirling around it. He also noted that the ball of energy in each one of their escorts was about the same size, the orb belonging to the female Misha had called an "elf" being slightly brighter and larger than the others.

With a sigh, he released the flow of chakra and opened his eyes to gaze out the window as the countryside rolled on by.

That night they made camp giving the visitors a chance to stretch their legs. While Naruto and Shika set up the shared male tent, Naruto sent a clone over to help Ino with the female's shelter, something she appreciated each time that he remembered as Asuma and Anko never lent a hand. The blond intelligence gatherer noticed that the solid clone proved to be of high interest to the armored escort as they continued to evaluate the shinobi from the Land of Fire.

~III~

The next morning, the Konoha Quintet piled into the loaded carriage and resumed their positions as Misha paused to answer questions from their security escorts. Ino leaned forward and grabbed Naruto's attention with a whispered, " _psst!"_

"Hm?" he barked out lazily opening one azure eye to focus on her. Despite growing annoyed at his adoption of Shikamaru's amazingly horrible habits, she glanced once out the window before turning back to her teammate.

"I think you should stop using any chakra techniques around those guys. They're a little too interested in you in my opinion." The surprised Genin opened both eyes and stared into her ice blues for several seconds, which made her a bit uncomfortable, before nodding his thanks.

"Will do, Ino-chan." Without another thought, he closed his lids again and leaned back against his exit buddy completely missing Ino's raging blush at the familiar suffix to her name.

Anko didn't and the smirk on her face said plainly as much. Unfortunately, Misha scrambled into her seat on the bench and thumped twice on the coach door indicating the convoy should get started before Anko could make much of it.

"Well, I hope everyone slept well?" She was unseasonably chipper to Shikamaru's sleep-deprived mind. "Next stop should be Orario itself! We should be there just before lunch."

Their perky Guild person seemed quite relaxed but Asuma, Anko and Ino all recognized her continued interest in the blond sitting cross-legged on the coach floor. Ino scowled more than once at the pink dusting covering the girl's cheeks and fought the overwhelming urge to throttle her every time she blushed. Between this Guild floozy and the two half-naked Amazons, Tione and Tiona, there were far too many women taking far too keen an interest in her teammate.

It wasn't like it was any of her business, but she couldn't have them jeopardizing the Konoha mission and distracting Naruto with their flirtations. To her, that was a serious threat. Yup, that had to be it. Deep in her heart she knew that to be the only reason for her irritation. Yup, nothing else.

~III~

"Whatever that was they boy did yesterday, it's gone now." Riveria relaxed and turned her focus back to the rolling country ahead of the coach in front of their cart. It annoyed her that these outsiders were considered important enough for a covered carriage and her team was not but that lasted only long enough to get a feel for the bursting levels of power from the two older combatants and the younger male with those stunning deep blue eyes. If possible, his power exceeded his so-called instructors but seemed less in control, which concerned her after their morning discussion with the Guild receptionist.

None of these Konohans had received a blessing and, theoretically, should not have been any stronger than a peasant farmer. The fact that the other two youngsters were nearly half her strength, the fact that the blond boy overshadowed her, and the fact that the two older ones were their teachers made her nervous. Loki would not be pleased to hear that she lost them to another _Familia_ so Riveria would need to be quick once they closed on the city's walls. Bete would need to make up for nearly ruining things by trying to pick a fight with the feral boy during camp last night and she could think of nothing better than for him to burn off his excess energy than running messages.

He was the fastest of their group regardless but being treated like a common messenger would humble him just enough.

Loki needed to know about these three powerhouses. Perhaps they could find a use for the girl since, according to Misha, she wanted to be a healer.

The other boy they would have to train up somehow. Perhaps he could provide janitorial services.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Bete's growling whine.

"C'mon Riv!" Oh, she hated when he did that. "We know damn well who that was an' he coulda been markin' us. You should have let me test him!" Now he was just being petulant.

"That is not our place and you know it." She looked over her left shoulder and cut a wicked glare until the lanky werewolf flopped down into the cart bed, his arms dangling loosely over the rails. "That is for Finn and Loki herself. You will do your part once we reach home."

The blue tattoo on his left cheek twisted up with his snarl, his frustrated grumbling losing to the clattering rumble of the cart's wheels over the rocky terrain. Turning back to the road ahead, Riveria let a tiny smile crinkle up the corners of her dainty mouth.

' _Yes, just humble enough.'_

By highsun, the great walls of Orario came into view. Spearing up through the heart of the city and into the clouds above, Riveria could make out the stone tower dominating the city's landscape as nothing else infringed upon its command of the skyline.

As she hopped down to announce the return of their party to the city with its dignitaries intact, Riveria noted with a happy sigh the angry face of the melee-focused wolf as he slipped into the gate and off to find their goddess.

The race had officially begun.

~III~

Still huddled up inside the coach, Naruto's gaze took in as much as Orario had to offer him by way of distraction. The gate guards only gave only a cursory glance inside the conveyance immediately losing interest with the smiling wave of Guildwoman Misha. Naruto found this lack of serious security… _disconcerting_.

Inside the distractions became more appealing to the eye.

The trailing cart disappeared as the coach could only move with the ebb and flow of street traffic, the city's tightly paved cobblestone streets evening out the jaunty ride to a steady staccato of wheels. Just outside his window, one of the barely-clothed Amazonians strode along with cat-like grace, her long black hair swaying gently from side to side. From time to time, her face would peer into the rolling vehicle and lock eyes with the blond Genin, something deeper twinkling in the murky depths of those brown pools as her lithe figure jiggled and swayed back and forth.

Naruto slid his orbs a hair to the right and locked onto hers instead of viewing her through his periphery, a stare she held for many minutes before casually turning away to scan nearby roofs and side alleys. Seeing that the game of cat and mouse was over for now, he broke away from her womanly charms and took in the other surprises that continued to make no sense.

For instance, the wide diversity in races like the pointy-hat wearing short people with beards ranging from white to red and nearly every color in between. The only consistency being that hat colors tended to clump together, bright blues with bright blues and shining reds with shining reds. Misha noticed his interest and called them Gnomes, saying that they were part of the _fae_ folk that made Orario their home.

She also pointed out different types of animal people similar to the werewolf that escorted them. There were the dog-like Chienthropes, of which she reminded him that he should never call Bete one as the two races were not the same, and the boar-like Boaz. Naruto nodded attentively even as several cat-like women walked past the coach's window, their sharp eyes noting his feral features and blushing at his gaze. Some even stopped to watch him pass by with curious stares on their faces, which was quite the opposite reaction when a cute bunny-eared woman locked eyes with him before streaking off in terror.

He missed Ino's hands balling into fists on her lap just behind him and Anko's knowing smirk as she watched it play out.

Misha pointed out the tiny Prum, correcting him when he commented that the city must be very safe for the children to freely wander about without their parents. In truth, Prum were hardly larger than small children. It was the intelligence in their faces that told them apart.

Elves, Dwarves, countless demi-human, spirit races, and half-breeds aside, Orario was turning out to be quite the melting pot overflowing in its humanity. He was thinking that finding Koaru Aono in this place was going to be much harder than they expected. Orario was easily the size of Konoha with twice the people, its structures tightly packed together to maximize as much space as possible.

Orario having clearly not worked out a suitable solution concerning architecture versus population density, the cart came to an abrupt stop in front of a large, multi-level building situated in the middle of a main artery, all of which apparently led to the heart of the city springing up around the spire at its core. Stepping out of the coach and into the full light of a busy Orarian day, Naruto stretched the kinks out of his back before moving up the steps after the pink mop of bouncing hair.

He caught out of the corner of his eye the escort group loitering at the bottom of the stairs as the coach rumbled away, his eyes catching Anko's and Asuma's in turn as they nodded, indicating both had noticed as well. Grimacing at their more than familiar interest in Konoha shinobi, Naruto turned his eyes inside to the brightly-lit foyer of the well-appointed Guild headquarters and the now stopped back of one Misha Flott.

She appeared flustered and embarrassed as she watched the back of a skinny kid flailing his arms in front of another Guild person behind the counter, who was chastising the boy pretending to be a flightless bird, his stark white hair whipping back and forth as he tried to profusely apologize. Misha turned to the group and bowed, her face flushing red as she apologized over and over again for them having to witness this and hoped that it did not color their opinion of her co-workers.

Naruto merely grinned in response. He'd gotten worse at the academy.

Trying to regain her composure, Misha explained that their appointed Guild rep for the duration of the mission was the angry brown-haired woman behind the counter dressing down the young adventurer, a guy she called Bell Cranell. Eina was his advisor also and Bell had been at this dungeon crawling thing for only a few weeks. According to Misha, he had a bad habit of forgetting his advisor's advice, something that marked him as unreliable and most likely to die before reaching level two as a rookie dungeon crawler.

Naruto chuckled again. If he'd believed everything said about him when he started the academy, he would probably have died during his first year there. Despite his gut instincts, he found himself liking the walking weed even as the curvy half-elf led him away from the counter to what Misha called a "consultation booth," the brunette's finger imperiously pointing the way as Bell walked off around the counter like a man condemned to die, his head hanging low on his chest in defeat.

Misha apologetically motioned for them to take a seat nearby in the waiting area while she brought them refreshments. She had no idea how long Eina was going to take but she promised to steer her their way as soon as she was done with Mr. Bell, as she called him.

Naruto seemed perplexed as Misha referred to all of them as "Mr. This" or "Mrs. That." Perhaps it was how all Guild employees referred to people? They sure were polite to a troublesome fault. Shikamaru, sitting on the far side of Ino, sneezed much to his amusement.

~III~

Inside the soundproofed consultation booth, Eina was standing with a hand covering her shocked mouth as she tried to make sense of Bell's unbelievable growth over the last two weeks. His status numbers had skyrocketed from their lowest "I-rank" beginner levels to some reaching as high as "D-rank." It was unheard of in any realm of an adventurer's experience.

Normal growth over a similar period would have been moving up one level from I to H. If he were really good, perhaps even G but to skip to D and E-ranked status ranges? Not even remotely fathomable. As she gaped on, her mind warred back and forth with moving from his stat numbers to peeking at any skills or talents he may have inscribed lower on his back near the bottom of his _falna_ blessing, the gift of his goddess.

The rational part of her brain was calling that urge what it was – a crime. It was a crime worthy of dismissal from the Guild. Those gifts from a deity were closely guarded secrets and any one foolish enough to let that information out found themselves vulnerable to other adventurers or, worse than that, another jealous deity.

Poaching of a deity's follower was not uncommon in Orario and the gods were fickle and flighty at best. As an advisor, it was her duty to protect her charge's abilities, even from herself, but it was a sore temptation at the moment. Her irrationally-curious side wanted to find some justification, any vaguely believable reason, for why this boy's status had increased four, five, even six jumps in only a two-week time period. The urge was making her face blush and her body grow warm with curiosity.

It was for the better that her rational and highly professional side won out and she led a fully-clothed Bell back to the lobby after giving him permission to proceed to the seventh level of the dungeon per his original request. She would need to do some research later to try and find possible skills allowing such unprecedented growth but it would be worth it in the end.

She emerged from the room only to come face-to-face with an over excited Misha frantically motioning to her patiently waiting guests in the lobby, a group of five ninja from the Land of Fire.

Bell's crimson eyeballs glanced over her shoulder to the unusual group and decided perhaps he should hang out a bit with Misha as they both tried to eavesdrop on the important meeting to come.

~III~

The three Genin were sitting on one couch across from their teachers shocked at the apologetic posturing of their permanently assigned Guild representative. Eina Tulle had dragged a chair over so that she could face both groups but not before she spent five minutes apologizing for being delayed with another customer, the same customer trying (and failing) to spy on their conversation over by the counter with their former pink-haired escort.

Perhaps she misunderstood Shikamaru's "I'm so sleepy and bored" look for irritation. Perhaps she mistook Ino's "Oh hell no, she's another freakishly-pretty floozy with big boobs" look as anger. It didn't matter to Naruto. She was very pretty and her slightly pointed ears, less so than a full-blooded elf but clearly more than a human, marked her as a half-elf and drew his interest.

He hid it behind his trademark scowl, which probably only served to heighten the woman's unease before he calmly raised a palm and asked her to relax so they could get on with the meeting. He'd wasted enough time getting here and was anxious to wrap up their business and return home. Ignoring the surprised looks from his teachers and teammates, since none of them were doing anything to stop her groveling, he took a sip of his water and locked his deep blue eyes with Eina's emerald green ones expectantly. She, in turn, shook herself as if recovering from a dream, blushed once more, then set several sheafs of paper on the table between their two couches along with five small leather-bound books written in Kanji labeled, "An Adventurer's Guide to Orario and the Dungeon."

Eina explained quickly that the books were theirs to keep. Having dealt with many visitors from the Elemental Kingdoms, Orario had begun printing their trademark reference books in a language common from that part of the world complete with a handy phrase book near the back with common and useful sayings in both _Koine_ , the common language of the realm, and _High Speak_ , the language of the gods.

Asuma scoffed catching the attention of a blushing Eina.

"Ah, I see. You're another one," she said almost sadly as if taking pity on the bearded man.

"Another one, what?" came the expected response.

"Another non-believer." He didn't deny it. "You will see on your own. I had to see for myself once, but I now know better."

She said it with such conviction that Asuma only stared back in return. Hers wasn't the voice of some raving lunatic or rabid fanatic. She spoke matter-of-factly, as someone that merely saw with her own eyes the evidence that convinced her of the truth. It was the attitude of common sense tied to a reality that he could not accept. Just as the understanding struck him, the moment moved on and Eina passed out a sheet to each person.

"Please find a list of names for each person having arrived in Orario via the ferry at Melen. I was unaware how far back you were required to search so I compiled data from as far back as last year. If you require more names, please allow me a few days to perform the necessary historical checks." Shikamaru actually whistled at that while both Anko and Asuma nodded appreciatively. She was if nothing else highly efficient at her job.

"How do you keep track of newcomers?" Naruto asked as he rifled down the list.

"We don't." He glanced up only to see her face flush warm immediately. "Once they register as new arrivals at the front gates, the daily lists are delivered to the Guild and we compile them. People are free to move about and live how they choose. Those that break the rules are dealt with. Those that become adventurers, are tracked through periodic updates with their gods and those are passed on to the Guild on a voluntary basis."

She waited for him to ask the question floating around behind his eyes but it never came. She could see his mind working furiously but whatever it was disappeared behind a mask of indifference a few seconds later. Eina decided to move on.

"Now, I have only a few more things to discuss then I will open myself to your questions." She pulled out a small journal and a feather-quilled pen. "You, as guests of the Guild, have free reign to move about Orario. Please understand, that this permission does not give you authority to intrude upon _Familia_ matters or their residences without hard proof of wrong doing. The gods are the absolute rule of law in their _Familias_ and accusations without grounds for charges can be," she paused trying to find the correct term, "troublesome." Shikamaru blinked and Ino giggled, something that made the half-elf cock her head to the side in curiosity.

Naruto nodded as he glanced over the names on the list going back three months. These _Familia_ sounded just like the clans back home, which meant they had to be extra careful.

Once Shikamaru waved off Ino's giggle fit as an inside joke on him, she continued. "That said, it is illegal for a mortal to assault a god, the penalty of which is incarceration in Orario's dungeon awaiting public execution if you are caught. Only the gods themselves are free to act in this manner with each other as they operate under their accepted rules for living here on earth with their children."

This rule caused Asuma to frown but he kept his comment to himself. Eina read his facial expression and amended her statement.

"This does not mean that you cannot defend yourself if attacked. It only means that you cannot intentionally set out to attack one without provocation and they know this much. It is rare to see one instigate violence. You see, the deities agree to live among us and willingly suppress their powerful magics. Freedom to attack them would void that agreement under the initial coexistence pact and our world, as we know it, would soon cease to exist." The light came on for the group of five. While they were hesitant to accept the god theory, powerful abilities were not outside the realm of acceptance.

"In the event your target is hiding inside the dungeon itself, you will need to gain the blessing of another god in order to enter and pursue them." She bowed at the waist. "I am sorry, but Guild leadership was unwilling to budge in this matter as it protects us legally if you should," she gulped hesitantly, "perish in trying to retrieve them inside the dungeon itself."

Shikamaru nodded. As troublesome as it was, they were expecting this. "Don't worry, Eina-san. These two are already prepared to join a _Familia_ willing to accept us. We assumed it would make things easier in the end." Asuma smiled as the Genin seamlessly stepped in to lead the conversation. He saw a good leader in the Nara heir and recognized Naruto and Ino falling into their normal support roles alternating between scanning the proffered documents and the milling crowd within the lobby itself. He relaxed and chose to follow along allowing them to keep the tempo under their control.

Eina nodded happily, relief flooding her face since she would not have to immediately report a serious problem back to her supervisor.

"I would like to offer you the following list of active _Familia_ currently operating within Orario. In it you will find a quick description of their patron deity, their _Familia_ symbol if applicable, and what focus each group fills within the city itself." Shikamaru glanced at it briefly before passing it to Ino as she was better at rapid memorization than he was.

"Please be careful here. _Familia_ wars, while not as common as before, are dangerous. While open warfare is frowned upon, the Guild typically does not intervene until the dust has settled and fines or punishment can be levied. Many have died during these breakouts and death is a very permanent misfortune." All three Genin nodded in understanding.

"Most of the information you'll need will be contained in your guides. If you do join a _Familia_ and begin dungeon exploration, any mana crystals you recover should be traded here at our Guild exchange so that you will always receive the best exchange rates. Please beware of cutthroat street exchanges as they regularly charge additional fees for converting mana crystals into Valis, our main currency." She held up several different sized coins with odd numerical markings on them. They were all the same gold color being differentiated solely by size and weight.

"Your chosen deity will grant you their blessing and regularly update your _falna_ status as you gain excellia." She took up her feather pen, clicked the top of it, then turned to them with a smile.

"Now, as your new advisor, are there any questions I can answer for you?"

Shikamaru stepped in and began with some basic information gathering. He started by looking for a recommended place to lodge, to which Eina immediately recommended the _Hostess of Fertility_ ¸ a multi-level inn located on the Western Road almost due south of the Guild. It was fairly well-located, was close to Guild Headquarters (and by default Eina), and was widely-regarded as a city favorite.

"As team lead, I'll be working with you to share information while we get these two into a respectable _Familia_." He nodded his head politely in her direction, causing the admittedly pretty woman to blush. "Please take care of me."

Shikamaru secretly found her very appealing. Her snug-fitting uniform was professional yet hinted at her full curves and long, slender legs. It was getting difficult to hide his attraction, but they needed to get through this in a timely fashion. It was getting late and Naruto's angry stomach was beginning to both annoy and embarrass him.

Before too long, the conversation winded down and the questions ended. Naruto noticed the white-haired boy start as if remembering something right before darting outside, his finger pointing to several names of interest on the recent additions to the city's census for Shika and Ino to note. They'd have to garner descriptions of the eight names in the hopes of narrowing their search a bit further.

Eight names, while a small amount, were like finding eight needles in a barn filled to the top with hay. This was a huge city.

Leaving the names for Eina to research more information, Shikamaru rose and bowed indicating he'd return tomorrow morning for their physical indicators. For now, they hoped to be able to get a room before it got too late and a bite to eat.

That plan all but ended once they stepped outside the Guild office building and came face to face with a small army of what appeared to be adventurers wearing the same purple clown symbol somewhere on their body. A few faces, the Amazon twins and the fur-faced wolf boy, were quietly nestled among the throng, the latter sneering at the small group as a Prum male with pale blond hair and blue eyes nearly the same shade of blue as Naruto's stepped forward and bowed.

"We would be honored if you would care to join us without a struggle. In the end, it would be better for everyone involved if you cooperated."

Shikamaru promptly frowned as Ino's, "Oh, dip" hissed out from between her pursed lips.

~III~

Bell froze once he stepped onto the front steps of the Guild main branch, his urgent need to return to the church and check on Lady Hestia completely forgotten at the sight of his crush, and her entire _Familia_ , waiting patiently on the street. His face flushed a tomato-like hue as their eyes locked but only for a moment. She almost immediately turned to face the doors to the building behind him and that's when the wheels started turning in his head.

He recognized Loki herself standing at the head of that mob and their intent suddenly rang out loud and clear in his mind.

 _Loki Familia_ was here for a hostile acquisition.

They were going to steal the new recruits before anyone else could. Glancing back over his shoulder, his ruby tinted eyes grew enormously wide as he wondered just how powerful the foreigners were to garner the interest of a powerful group like Loki's not even hours into their visit.

His thoughts tumbled away into the back of his mind as the small group in question exited a few minutes later only to calmly meet the glares of the people blocking their exit.

Loki, a thin female wearing tight short shorts and a striped tube shirt-jacket hoodie ensemble that did little to hide the absolute absence of a chest she sported, proudly stepped forward and raked her maroon-colored orbs over the group. Settling her eyes on the blond male standing to the far left, she nodded once and slapped the blond Prum on the back with a grin matching her now slit-like eyes.

"Cut the nice-nice crap. Finn, keep the blond boy and the two older ones. Someone else can take the other two for all I care." While her crew of rugged adventurers nodded happily at her decree, this obviously did not sit well with the "blond boy" focus of her comments.

"Piss off lady. We're not your property to claim." His voice was guttural, angry even. Naruto dropped his jacket on the steps, his body moving to stand between the mob at the bottom of the stairs and his team now centered at his back. Most of the people at the bottom of the stairs openly laughed at him.

This was _Loki Familia_!

Did he not understand his predicament?

Despite his disrespectful tone, the appointed goddess barked out a bubbly laugh commenting that she was going to enjoy breaking in her newest boy-toy.

"Stay calm, Naruto. Remember, no waves," his eyes glancing sideways to their teachers only to find passive faces taking in the growing drama. Naruto clucked his teeth and scowled.

"Screw that, Shika!" Ino sighed as the angry Genin cracked the knuckles of his hands and rolled his shoulders. "Did you hear them?" He wasn't yelling. In fact, the calm tone of his voice made Ino shiver. "They want to discard you two and run off with us three, like you two are damaged goods or something. You may be okay with not upsetting idiots like this, but I take offense to folks mouthing off about my teammates, my comrades." Ino's eyes melted a little.

Naruto's eyes, however, settled on the still grinning tomboy, his eyes pulsing a bright red, his pupils narrowing briefly to angry black slits as his killing intent, laced with a heavy dose of Kyuubi's youki (because the always-angry bijuu found the prospect of a real fight stimulating), washed over the whole audience making civilians flee for blocks around and lesser fighters buckle at the knees.

Shika grinned. "So, we're no longer annoyances?" Naruto offhandedly waved the comment away.

"Don't push it, brain child." The chuckle behind him made the blond grin as he raised his shoulders enough to make them pop audibly in the now silent courtyard. All eyes were focused on him, and even the formerly smiling ones of the no longer grinning Loki were taking him seriously.

The red haired _Familia_ leader tilted her head over her left shoulder and barked out one word, "Bete." The grey-furred wolf's grin erupted on his tattooed face as he strode forward and lined up with the boy at the top of the stairs.

"This is gonna hurt you more 'an me, boy." Naruto smirked back.

"Famous last words, were they?" Without another quip, the crowd behind the werewolf backed up to block off the street as Naruto descended to the bottom of his perch, the melee fighter backing up to give him room to prepare himself.

~III~

Eina burst through the crowd near the door after alerting her superiors, her face growing tense with serious levels of concern seeing the blond shinobi amicably gliding down the stairs to face off against the werewolf beserker.

"Oh, dear. This is bad," she mumbled out. Not even turning her head nor taking her eyes off the soon-to-be scuffle, Anko took the bait.

"Why is this bad?"

"That is Bete Loga, a level five adventurer with _Loki Familia_. He's a recognized melee fighter and, although he's not equipped his metal-clawed bracer yet, his metal boots and shin guards are equally dangerous. He is a lot for a non-adventurer to take on right away." The girl seemed genuinely distressed but Anko merely nodded as if they were discussing the weather.

"Good," Asuma joined in. "This will give us a chance to see how well our Shinobi ranking system stacks up against your adventurers. It should also let us know how our chakra usage stacks up to your mana." Eina could only blink in dumbfounded shock at the unenthusiastic discussion as their student was about to be pulverized and stolen right out from under them. Asuma could only grin knowing that Naruto was not a fair one-to-one comparison with anyone.

"You don't understand!" she burst out only to get a raised eyebrow from the taller male in return. "There are few stronger than _Loki Familia's_ warriors! This will be a challenge he won't be able to win!" She was growing noticeably agitated.

"Relax, Eina-chan." The casual familiarity from the purple-headed woman made her blush but did not alleviate her panic. "You would be surprised what the gaki can do."

Swallowing her worry like a rancid lump of fat, Eina turned to watch what she believed was going to be a heavily lopsided battle about to derail their mission in Orario. Maybe the Guild would let her sell tickets at the next _Monster Feria_ after she lost her dignitaries three hours after their arrival?

~III~

Naruto's punch knives stayed in the modified leather belt that held the sheathes tightly against the small of his back, his feet settling into a tight combat stance as his arms rose to guard his core and chin. More than a few noticed his compact form resting lightly on the balls of his feet and wondered what style of combat he preferred. More than a few women noticed the flexing muscle underneath the snug tee shirt and raised approving eyebrows.

Suddenly Bete vanished from Bell's sight. There was a loud thud and a sudden burst of dust at the area around where the shorter blond was standing. Many in _Loki Familia_ were already smiling and preparing to move in to carry away the nearly dead stranger when the dust settled to reveal Bete standing there with his mouth hanging open, his fist caught firmly in the metal-encased hand of the younger fighter. Everyone on _Loki Familia's_ front line paused in shock.

Bete recovered and yanked his hand back before unleashing a furious volley of blows, which the smaller blond either caught, blocked or sidestepped, his palms lightly brushing aside the taller fighter's fists with light taps and nudges. When the werewolf got too close, the blond stepped in past a right-hander and slammed his shoulder into the Loki warrior's chest knocking him backwards three stumbling steps. Roaring with a growing sense of frustration, Bete poured on the speed and began adding roundhouse kicks and front snapkicks to his assault as Naruto leaned back just enough to let them sail harmlessly by. He was watching, sizing up his opponent's skill using as little energy as possible to do it.

Lean backwards a little here. Lean to the right and twist the shoulders a little there. Swat the right cross across and away from his core. Lift the left foot and trap the front snap before he could extend it.

Naruto, being used to fighting the much faster Jounin, was reading the taller animal person like a play book, his shoulders and hips leading each attack as Bete's temper took a greater hold on his combat focus.

"This is impossible!" the werewolf roared, his amber eyes raging in disbelief. "You. Don't. Have. A. Blessing!" Each word was punctuated by a blow or kick, each miss spiking his anger and making his form sloppier by the second. Naruto ducked under his roundhouse-spinning heel-kick combo. The boy then proceeded to slap the taller wolf's one-two fist combo out of the air like annoying children's toys, his sparkling blue eyes shining with merriment before going deathly cold. A shiver suddenly went down the taller man's spine forcing his grey hackles into the air.

Naruto decided he'd seen enough and turned up the heat.

"Toad Reaps the Harvest," Shikamaru muttered out causing Ino's head to snap in his direction.

Bete's next punch, a right cross, sailed over Naruto's head as the shorter blond dipped to the outside of it and sharply twisted his upper body so that his left fist shot up into a wicked uppercut slipping under the Loki boy's extended arm and catching the wolf flat on the chin. The blow connected with a wicked crack, the compression sending a jolt of air out in a burst that ruffled the hair on the nearest _Loki Familia_ members as Bete's eyes partially rolled up into his skull.

Naruto's next punch was a straight smash that caught the handsome nose of his lupus opponent right between the eyes. The force of the blow snapping back his furry head and sending his lanky frame sliding along the ground to stop at his goddess's shocked feet.

Calmly walking back up the stairs, Naruto removed his shirt next revealing a heavily muscled frame before spinning back around to face the rest of _Loki Familia_ with an angry sneer on his face. "Who is next?" he growled out as his eyes raked across the assembled forces refusing to let them pass in peace.

He noticed more than one pair of feminine eyes loitering over his upper body but missed the emerald green pair just behind his left shoulder as they peered from behind Anko.

"Holy shit, son! If you're this powerful without a blessing, I can't wait to get you into my line up!" Not wanting to risk her favorite, Loki looked over her other shoulder and called out another name. "Gareth!"

Murmurs began to go out among the crowd. Loki was calling in one of her big guns, one of her top executives, to fight against an unclaimed boy. Many mortal and immortal eyes were suddenly taking in this challenge now, and Bell shivered as that tingling sensation he'd been feeling lately rolled off his shoulders in the direction of the brave blond trying to defend his friends against an entire _Familia_ of powerful adventurers. His heart went out to them, but he saw the situation as hopeless.

Only one other adventurer had fought and won against Gareth. Ottar, of _Freya Familia_ , was a monster in more ways than one.

"Naruto!" The blond paused as he stepped once more off the top stair to face his next opponent, a powerful looking Dwarf from what he could see, wearing thicker armor and brandishing a heavy hammer easily in one hand. Naruto took his eyes off the bulging muscles of his next opponent and met the concerned gaze of his big sister, his eyes sweeping over the heavily-blushing face of the beautiful half-elf advisor, flushed face and all, refusing to meet his gaze.

"You'd better drop the resistance seals. Something tells me you're going to need all of your strength and speed for this one." Every pair of eyes on the street bulged despite not knowing what a seal was. They knew what training resistance meant and, if the boy had beaten Bete with them on, Gareth was in for one hell of a fight.

He was only one level above Bete and, while that constituted a huge jump in combat power and ability, it was possible that this un-blessed boy possessed similar strength already with whatever these seals were. The thought made Loki a bit uneasy contemplating the possible outcome.

 _'Fuck it! Gotta end this quick!'_

"Forget the one on one. Tione! Tiona! Riveria! Finn! Grab him! We'll come back for the others later!" Many faces started at the declaration as the two Amazonians cautiously stepped forward to stand next to the Dwarf in question.

"Is this wise, goddess Loki? What message does this send-." She never finished her question as Loki overrode her.

"Do you want Freya, or worse, Apollo or Ishtari getting their mitts on this guy?!" That alone shut them up as they all stepped forward to challenge not just a newly weightless Naruto but his two companions.

Tiona laughed. "We know how weak you two are. What do you think you're gonna do against us?" Her laughter died as a dozen puffs of smoke appeared around the three and, when it cleared, twelve more copies of the blond warrior squared off against them.

Tiona laughed once again. "Ha! I've seen something similar before." She turned to her teammates and scoffed loudly. "Don't worry! They're not-."

She was going to say that they weren't real.

She was going to boost her comrade's moral by easing their sudden worry at being outnumbered.

That ended abruptly when one of the copies rushed forward in a blur of motion and planted a fist in her face sending her to the ground in a sprawling tangle of arms and legs.

Loki swore out loud something foul enough to make the slender blond woman standing next to her blush.

Then chaos ensued as the grand melee began.

~III~

For the second time in the same week, Magnus was reeling from sensory overload. His shock bent his proud neck and hunched his shoulders as the words of his scion rang in his perfect ears.

' _We shall do no such thing.'_ It wasn't rushed, or heated, just a bland denial of acceptance. Looking up from the chamber floor, Magnus' eyes reflected shock, but this time disappointment warred alongside dull acceptance.

"I understand your confusion," the midnight scaled patron began from his high perch, "but he will seek us out if he truly is the _Walker_ you claim to have found." Magnus reeled as if he'd been struck, his eyes flying to the pearl-colored Opalessa coiled at the talons of her mother, the fair Marianus.

He saw no reaction even as the hatchling tried to hide the sadness in her eyes, her sleek muzzle pointed to the hard-packed earth of the Chamber of Lights. While the way the multi-hued crystals reflected their pastel tones across her magnificent hide always soothed him, today was not a day to be so enamored. His muzzle whipped to the right as he sought support from Titus who lay similarly beneath and to the side of Poseidus, his sire. The despair present in Opal's sibling mirrored the pale one destined to meld with the newest _Walker_ should he have been male. Titus had been briefly bonded to the last Uzumaki princess, a painful memory that lingered about him like a stagnant thundercloud to this very day.

Magnus felt broken. Betrayed. His long diligence had brought nothing but frustration and anger as his talons cracked and rent the polished stone at his feet.

"This. Can. Not. Stand." The words were spoken, not roared, but his emotion rolled from his massive body in waves. His eyes pleaded once more with their Celestial Clan head to no avail. With a disgusted growl, the massive predator of the deep turned away and plunged into the water-filled pool at the room's center, his unhappy waves sloshing out of its once timid surface in the wake of his passing.

"You wrong him, and you wrong us all," the voice of a teal mass of scales and powerful limbs resting on a lower pedestal spoke out. Titus swung his still growing head over to address Regnus, one of two presiding elders, out of curiosity.

"How so, respected Elder?" Though having seen nearly two-thousand seasons, the smooth-scaled creature resembling a wingless dragon glanced back to the roiling pool as he answered.

"We have waited so long for a survivor. So long. Yet now we lay timidly among the deep waves hiding from the world of man as our cherished struggle perishes among the muck and mire of evil beings." His muzzle shot up to meet Poseidus directly. "The Breaking did more than tear asunder our bonds. It has broken our spirits and now you leave the fate of our clan's continued existence to the whims of fate?"

The massive Boss Summons was unmoved. "You overreact."

"Do I?" Regnus had been just as hopeful as Magnus and the possibility of a Walker was too much to ignore. "How long before our foes hear of your claim upon him? Will they honor our right of _Imminent Domain_ or will they lash out against this hatchling to wound us? To break our spirits completely?"

"We do not know that they will-." Regnus cut him off.

"You do not know that they will not!" the chamber echoed with the force of his voice. "You remember their screams as well as I do, as we honored their wishes to preserve their legacy." The Elder rose stiffly from his perch and moved to the pool. "How many summoning clans fought against our beloved _sirens_ while we hid our shame? How many more will remember and seek out this last one to rub our noses in that same shame once again?"

Having nothing more to say, he plunged muzzle first into the bracing waters. It was time to remind the sea who the true masters were. It was time to remember what it felt like to feel the _call_.

~III~

Loki couldn't believe her eyes. This kid was a walking wet dream! Powerful magic, powerful body, and damned easy on the eyes if you went for that male thing. Once again, her worried look shot over to her immediate right to make sure Ais was safely behind her before looking out over the flailing tangle of limbs as her team tried to sort out which one was real. Even Tiona had gotten back up as her magic slowly started to convert the blow she took into raw strength.

Good. From the looks of that boy they were trying to subdue, she was going to need it. A quick glance showed the Fel Cloaks gathering along the upper roof ledges of the Guild House. She needed to wrap this up quickly before another deity brought their _Familia_ in to interfere.

Just as she was starting to sort out what was happening (the copies tended to burst into smoke when they took damage and her team was beginning to sort through them working in pairs, her breath caught in her throat as Ais calmly walked away from her and around the fighting mass, up the stairs before just-as-calmly handing her sword over to the dark-haired boy standing behind what she now recognized was the real blond fighter.

The girl never even acknowledged her frantic screams as Loki repeatedly howled her name. She watched in horror as the dark-haired boy almost lazily drew the sword and placed it alongside the bared neck of a peacefully kneeling Ais Wallenstein, Loki's pride and joy. Then the boy's very cold eyes looked up to lock with hers and she saw the depth of pain he was willing to inflict. His eyes said very clearly that, if she didn't call this off, he'd slice her flawless throat wide open and he'd sleep just fine afterwards.

Riveria, who caught the executive's movements sidled up to her goddess who merely nodded her head once to the caster.

Without a second thought, the elf shot off a ball of energy high above the crowd watching as it burst into a mini explosion some ten meters above their heads, the loud popping noise and burst of light stopping the already dwindling melee cold. Some froze with limbs perched between wide open jaws about to bite down. Others had arms drawn back with a club or lead-filled sap preparing to pummel an opponent (hopefully) unconscious rather than bursting another damnable clone. Eight remaining copies of the surprisingly tough boy blinked up in confusion as the Loki group retreated back to their goddess with sullen looks on their faces.

"We're done here. Take your pack of thugs with you and go." Shikamaru's voice was ruthless. He had to be given the fact that Naruto was barely holding himself upright after the rain of blows he'd sustained in that mosh pit. He had to admit it to himself, the guy was stubbornly resilient if nothing else.

"What about Ais?" Loki nearly bawled out. Shikamaru judged his earlier assessment accurate as to this one's importance, his hastily cobbled plan working out this time in an ugly situation of unknowns.

"We'll release her once you guys are long gone. Now get to steppin'." He gently touched the blade to her neck, the golden eyes on the blond growing large with concern as she flinched.

Loki clucked her teeth before motioning for her group to move away slowly. "Harm her and we'll wipe you out. None of this capture crap!" Shikamaru nodded, his left arm surreptitiously scrambling for a better grip on Ino's belt as she leaned against his shoulder.

"You made your play and lost lady. Take the loss for what it is and move on graciously." Even after they were out of sight, he still waited three minutes before removing the blade and re-sheathing it. Suddenly the blond woman jumped up from the ground, her hand flying to her neck to check for cuts only to come away clean. When Ino stood up and backed away, he released her belt then handed the cased weapon back to its owner, who nodded silently before turning on her heels and walking quietly away.

"Troublesome," was all Shikamaru could think to say before looking at the heavily bruised and battered Naruto slumped over at the top of the steps. "You okay Naruto?" The boy tiredly waved his hand about before flopping over onto his back, his bruises slowly fading away from view before Ino's very surprised eyes.

Over by Asuma and Anko, Eina was apologizing profusely on behalf of the Guild and offering an escort to get them safely to their destination, her eyes flickering over the prone body of the blond male. Her parting words were that the attacking _Familia_ would be fined heavily, a portion of those fines going to their group as compensation to help pay for treatment. As the group moved off, no one noticed Bell slipping away in a rush to have urgent words with his own goddess, Hestia.

~III~

As soon as Naruto was recovered enough to walk, they got moving. Apparently, news of their tussle with _Loki Familia_ traveled even faster as the crowded street literally parted like a beaded curtain in Konoha's Red Light District before the scowling blond lead of their group.

No one wanted to go toe-to-toe with a guy that could take on most of Loki's group single handedly, at least not right away. They did notice several onlookers following from the roof tops at a discreet distance as they stayed to the main roads and worked their way towards the _Hostess._ Team Ten found a rather stout woman waiting for them at the entrance with her meaty hands fisted on wide hips, her trademark green dress and white apron marking her as part of the establishment. Her commanding tone marked her as the proprietress. After studying them all, she nodded once.

"I'm Mia. Rules here are pretty easy. No fightin' within my place. This here is for eatin' and drinkin'. You want more than that, you take it outside, hear me?" Once they all agreed to her terms, she spun about and stormed back inside to resume her duties behind the bar.

The original plan for two rooms changed as Anko asked for one with a couple beds. Mia shrugged and gave them one with three beds, the biggest she had. Given their run in first thing, the larger woman could understand their reluctance at being separated.

Not everyone respected the neutral territory rule of the _Hostess_ like they should and a group was harder to take unawares.

Three beds. Naruto and Shika opted to use their bedrolls on the floor and that pretty much settled the rest. They'd have to take turns in the communal bath going in groups to avoid being alone until they could find a _Familia_ of their own. Letting the girls go first, they all paused as a knock sounded on the far side of the room's door right as Ino reached for the handle. Stepping away from the now open portal, Naruto could see the same white-haired boy from earlier with a shorter, and nearly naked (despite the thin dress she was wearing) female with dark blue hair tied up in twin ponytails.

Her white dress did little to hide her figure as the smiling lad bowed politely and introduced goddess Hestia, his _Familia_ leader.

"We'd like to offer our help!" he proudly chirped out happily as the five room occupants blinked back owlishly like he was completely off his nutter.

~III~

Gathered around one of the beds, Hestia laid out the history of the gods as she knew it hoping to win new allies, at least temporarily, to her cause.

"Long ago, we the gods descended to the lower world of you, our children, seeking excitement." Her eyes took on a far away shine. "And so, we decided that we would live here in the lower world forever. Sealing our godly powers away, we would live happily, surrounded by discomfort and inconvenience. The only thing we could grant to you is the Blessing, the power to fight monsters.

"Those children to whom this power is granted become family to the god: _Familia_." Shikamaru sighed loudly as his boredom took over. Unfortunately, it also stopped the small goddess in her tracks.

"We understand that much." He held up his small adventurer's guide as an example. "What we want to know is what you get out of helping us."

The goddess's eyes narrowed at the shrewd negotiator but nodded, nonetheless. "I gain temporary help for my Bell-kun." She inclined her head towards the blushing teen boy that looked more like a rabbit with each passing moment.

"He's all I have; he's the only member of my _Familia_ and he's nearly died on me twice already having been at this only a few weeks." She sighed as her cherubic cheeks puffed out in frustration. The ruby-eyed Bell's head dipped in shame as his hand shot up to the back of his neck eerily similar to a certain blond on their shinobi team.

"You do realize that we'll have to leave once our mission is completed, right?" Again, the goddess nodded.

"He's strong," her pigtails swinging about as she indicated Naruto with her up-tilted chin. "He's strong enough to protect Bell-kun by himself if reports are true. It's my hope that he can teach Bell a thing or two about fighting while he's here." Her eyes indicated the twin blade handles sticking out from behind Naruto's v-shaped back.

"In exchange for my Blessing, I'll take any help you can provide Bell while you're here and I'll give mine gladly in any way that I can." Naruto rose from the floor like a wraith and stood before the diminutive goddess.

"I'll do it." He sounded convinced already. Shikamaru merely looked up at him with his unasked question all over his face.

"She isn't doing this out of selfish reasons, unlike that Loki woman." Naruto's deep blue orbs never left hers. "She is offering us what she can in the hopes that we'll help someone she obviously cares a great deal about, someone precious to her." He turned to face his teammates. "She doesn't see us as property to claim or steal and that's worthy of my respect. I understand her desire." His eyes locked briefly with Anko's before his face turned to once again meet with the small woman's eyes as her smile blossomed full of hope.

Asuma did not miss the faint blush coloring the snake summoner's cheeks.

"I'll join your _Familia_ until we have to leave." He held out his hand for her to shake, one she took readily. "What do you need me to do?"

She hopped up, her disproportionately large boobs bouncing nearly out of their barely-confined enclosure.

"I need you to take off your shirt and lie down on the bed!" Naruto's face contorted in confusion as he nervously prodded his ear with a pinky.

"Excuse me? Run that by me again?" It took a second, but Hestia's face took on a healthy sheen of red as her hands began waving back and forth in front of her chest causing some interesting palpitations in that area as they jogged side to side in time with her movements.

"Ah, I meant lay down on your stomach. I need to inscribe the Blessing on your back." Naruto chuckled as he stripped out of his shirt, a sight of rippling hard lines and bulging mounds of flesh that stole Hestia's breath, much to Ino's annoyance, before he spread out face first on the nearest mattress. Hestia promptly scrambled on after him as she straddled his hips in her barely-decent garment.

The knife scabbards made it impossible to sit on his lower back, which would have been more comfortable. Instead she pricked her finger then leaned forward far enough to rest her left hand on his shoulder blade. Tracing intricate patterns along the skin of his back, the thin streaks of red ichor began to pulse with golden trails of light as they melded into his skin.

Naruto could feel the warmth lingering as her finger swirled around his upper back, her delicate digit overlaying an intricate pattern that reached from his lower ribs to the middle of his shoulder blades. Then his entire back flushed with heat that bordered on the uncomfortable.

Hestia's pinprick of a wound closed immediately after she made the final rune in _High Speak_ , her palm slapping down in the middle of his spine as a golden glow began to suffuse his upper body. Across the room, the boy's teammates stared in awe at the amount of power flowing from the petite woman into the body of their jinchuuriki, the light pulsing repeatedly from the symbols etching themselves into his skin. Deep inside Anko worried, her teeth chewing at her lower lip as she feared for how this might affect the nine-tailed monster of her village's worst nightmares.

Raising her body to an upright position, Hestia lifted both hands placing her palms flat together and began to chant.

" _All-Father, blessed keeper of Light,_

 _Guide and protect our paths as we cherish and nurture the flames of their youth;_

" _Through breath and blood and hope and faith,_

 _Endow the spirit of this Blessing, the falna of our heavenly plane in this fragile vessel;_

" _Strengthen what falters, mend what breaks, heal what hurts to our final breaths._

" _Together as one, our love spreads among the flock."_

The glow across his flesh flashed once more then dwindled to a bed of floating hieroglyphs and numbers just above the skin of his back. Ino's eyes goggled as the displays of symbols clustered around a brazier holding a swirling flame, the lowest layer showing "Level One" and all of the corresponding words and matching numbers showing either a "S," "SS," and in one case "SSS." She couldn't make out more before the petite goddess leaned forward and pressed all of the glowing symbols like an overstuffed sandwich into Naruto's back, her eyes wide in surprise as the glow faded from view.

~III~

The fox looked up from his nap, the excitement of the day long faded, as the metal seal welded into the bars of his gilded cage began to glow on one of the four main nexus conduits. The western ley line pulsed and flexed, the metal squealing something terrible making the bijuu's ears cringe. Slowly the bulging metal molded itself into a circular seal with the symbol for _Ēteru,_ or Ethereum, the new symbol pulsing with one final explosion of golden light.

That left one more major conduit and four minor ones located halfway between each major port like the points on a compass.

To his left side, a sluice gate opened up in the sewer wall near the floor and a flood of reddish liquid began to flow into it. The fox grunted in poor humor as his head spun around to look at the center tail in his waving bunch of nine as the color rapidly drained from the tip all the way to its base.

Laying the limb back down into the sopping floor of his cage, he rested his head once again on his massive paws and closed his eyes. He wasn't worried about the energy draining from a single tail as it would replenish soon enough. He was more impressed that the boy had managed to tap into something he probably knew nothing about.

The meat sack was full of surprises it seemed.

~III~

"What were those bursts of light at each layer of numbers on Naruto's back?" Anko's question broke the silence as Hestia's hands stayed on his lower back as if trying to keep something hidden from view. Everyone could see with the light gone that those pulsing symbols and images had transcribed themselves into a complicated tattoo of sorts.

"That was the _falna_ adjusting to his life's experiences. As an adventurer levels, the _falna_ , which modulates how much mana one can absorb, molds and processes into powerful physical and magical effects. In turn, it helps to strengthen the body's natural abilities, their strength, endurance, intelligence, agility, defense, and magic power." Without thinking, almost as if it were habit, she held out a hand to Bell. In return, the shocked boy handed her a piece of brown paper that she placed along Naruto's skin right above his Blessing record. Pressing it flat, she burst another pulse of power which burned a copy of his status on it before lifting the parchment off and flipping it over so that the words were readable. Once again, she took in a shuddering breath before lifting the paper up towards the purple-haired woman.

Blinking in shock, Anko took it and read what was transcribed in Kanji.

[Naruto Uzumaki] Level 4

Belongs to: Hestia Familia

Home: Hidden Room Under the Church

Job: Adventurer

Deepest Exploration: None

Weapon: Punch Knife, Kunai, Stinger Throwing Knives, Fists and Feet

Wealth: 0 Valis

Strength: SS 1002 Defense: SS 1010 Agility: SS 1107 Utility: E 417 Magic: H 150

[Magic]

 **Ifrit Salamander: Burning Wrath of the Apocalypse** – Self-Immolating flames providing complete immunity to natural and magical flames below draconic strength (reduced effectiveness); Monstrous levels of combustion and absorption through direct contact; Branching point for mastering additional forms of fire magic.

 **Fae Borealus** – Endows the caster with the ability to inscribe normal and magical runes into corporeal objects (only) through use of mana.

[Developmental Abilities]

 **Concurrent Chanting** – A high level technique that involves casting magic while fighting or moving around; reduces the chance for Ignis Fatuus due to loss of magical control through technical failure.

 **Titanic Resistance:** Negates the effects of abnormalities such as poisons or paralytic toxins.

 **Luck of the Devil:** Random improvement of individual luck, such as finding dungeon resources or gambling. Effects are reduced when applied to intentional moments of conflict resolution as opposed to random acts of providence.

[Skills]

 **Liaris Freese: Iron Will of the Kraken** – This skill increases Naruto's growth so long as he maintains a driving desire to reach a specific goal. While the driving focus can change over time, the skill's impact remains in effect. As an added bonus, this Iron Will provides immunity to charm, status and mind controlling affects such as fear, possession, and hypnosis.

 **Arch Nemesis:** Heavily increases abilities when fighting against a chosen enemy, be it a single person or a race of enemy, such as minotaurs or dragons; cannot exceed level limitations.

Hestia was nearly speechless. She'd seen that rare skill twice now, and her worried face passed quickly from one young male in her _Familia_ to the other. She could no longer hide the truth as, once Bell saw Naruto's abilities and skills, he'd connect the dots with the speed of his own development. Bell didn't have the Kraken thing but his was a different focus.

An image of that blond tart belonging to Loki flashed through her mind unbidden. It would only be a matter of time before she lost him to another deity or that Ais Wallensomething and that thought drove a stake straight through her heart.

She sighed blowing out a small gust of air once the blond boy carefully folded the paper and stuffed it into his thigh holster despite Bell's curious looks. Apparently, the shinobi were adept at keeping secrets. With a hopeful smile, she looked up at the other four in the room.

"Was there anyone else wanting to join _Hestia Familia_ tonight?"

A few minutes later, all four males were sitting lotus across the room with their backs turned to the now topless Ino laying face-down on the same bed Naruto was splayed across only moments before. While she hadn't cared (Naruto and Shikamaru had both seen her partially naked before during training or while watching her back during bathing on the road) but Naruto had insisted on protecting her modesty. It gave her a warm feeling despite their tempestuous relationship.

So, with her chin resting on her crossed arms, she waited patiently for the self-proclaimed goddess to finish her work, smiling as the light from her back pulsed once before dying to a fading light. It wasn't three times like Naruto's _falna_ had done but she wasn't bottom of the barrel either and that was fine with her.

"Level two, not bad." Hestia ran her fingers lightly over the girl's frustratingly smooth skin before leaning forward and whispering in her ear on the same side her female instructor observed from. "You know, you should really make a move on that blond hunk you're travelling with before those two cuties back in your village do." Ino's eyes burst open as her face turned to get a better look at the woman's sly grin.

"How did you -?" Hestia shrugged it off as a trifle.

"I saw his interactions with them when I scried his past. It's a goddess thing." She smiled innocently. "The brown haired one with the twin buns on her head is cute and he's awfully fond of her well-shaped bottom." Ino gawked and sputtered as the large-breasted midget gently patted her rear. "Then again, the one with dark blue hair like mine is similarly equipped," she leaned back and gently squeezed her obscenely large breasts, "and he seems rather fond of those also." Hestia's grin shot to the left as her eyes locked onto Anko's barely-hidden globes.

Anko's eyebrow rose receiving the hidden message.

"Still, you are still growing, my dear, and soon you'll have all of the equipment you need to catch his eye." She gently patted Ino's back before sliding off of the younger girl's body. "You just need to quit holding back if you ever hope to change his view of you as one of his tormentors from school."

Ino sat up and began wrapping her chest beneath her bindings, her eyes darting over to the backs of the three boys talking casually about dinner to come and something called "spaghetti." Naruto was acting horrifically offended that someone would douse noodles in anything other than miso broth while Bell was chuckling that he might find it surprisingly good if he tried it.

Securing her larger than expected breasts snugly to her body with the sturdy material, Ino slipped on her mesh armor and purple top then took in a deep breath or two to test the fit before turning back to the smug sweater monster.

"Anything interesting I should know about back there?" her thumb indicating her own Blessing.

"Something unusual. You have a magic ability called ' _Dia Panakeia_ ,' a rare ability found only among the Fels serving the god Ouranos. To my knowledge, it creates colored spheres that can move about the battle field and heal your allies, or in unlucky cases, an enemy if they intercept them." Ino nodded knowing she'd have to play around with the ability in order to learn its capabilities. "It came with a chant that you'll need to learn in order to use it." She passed a slip of paper to the young lady translated in Kanji that read:

" _Pius' staff, Pione's light. Intersect with_

 _the authority of healing and heal everything."_

Ino shuddered. It sounded widely indiscriminate and she'd need more selective healing to use in a pitched fight.

"You also have a developmental ability called 'Mage' which increases your casting efficiency. Beyond that, you're an open book ready to be filled." The petite woman frowned with a heavy sigh. "At some point you may want to learn how to cast while moving or fighting so that you don't mess up a chant and spontaneously combust." Ino blanched.

"That can happen?" she squeaked out. The goddess only nodded as if it were a sad but unfortunate truth. Which it was.

"Unfortunately, I can't teach you anything else. If you want to learn healing magic, you might want to spend a few days in the University. They can teach you the basics of mana manipulation and healing in the cleric's ward." Shikamaru's voice rang out on the other side of the room.

"We will put the question to our advisor." Standing and turning to face the now covered Ino and female gang, he zeroed in on the goddess. "Now to our business arrangement in the dungeon."

"What do you mean?" Hestia was confused.

"We're not going to be staying in Orario so large sums of Valis will do us no good. As our compensation for your support, we'll be donating seventy percent of our take to _Hestia Familia_." Both Bell and Hestia were waving their hands before their respective chests trying to turn the proposal down but Shikamaru plowed on.

"Take it. We don't need the income back home because of a completely different currency system and, from the description we received about your financial situation, this will benefit you once we're gone and it's back to just you and Bell for your own safety. We can deposit the Valis directly into your _Familia_ Guild account, so you won't have to hold on to large sums of money." Hestia blinked in complete surprise.

"We-we have a bank account?" She looked at Bell who merely blushed not sure of whether or not it was true. He hadn't made enough Valis beyond their daily living requirements yet to make it necessary. Shikamaru simply held up his Dungeon Guide and wiggled it under their noses.

"If what Eina-san tells us is true, you should both have one of these. There should be one for adventurers, like you Bell, and one for gods and goddesses, like you Hestia-sama." Hestia blushed sheepishly chiding herself for not reading that accursed encyclopedia. It was just so boring.

"Also, why didn't you lock their statuses?" Another blow rocked the goddess's brain.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. So much for all-knowing gods.

"The book says to ensure that your deity 'locks your status,' meaning there is a way to make it vanish from the surface of the skin so that others cannot read it. Really, have you even read your user's manual?" He was perturbed now. This was beyond negligent.

Hestia was trying desperately to convince him that she'd get right on it and tomorrow she'd take care of locking all three after she finished her day of work. They weren't a wealthy _Familia_ so even the goddess had to pitch in.

Deep in his mind, Naruto was planning to change that hinderance to their family as another knock sounded at the door.

Just outside of it stood a nervous Syr, the hostess that had shown them to their room earlier. Her silver hair was tied up beyond her head scarf and her matching eyes sought out the blond Genin on the far side of the room.

"Ah, Naruto-san, Naruto-san!" she called out. "You have visitors waiting downstairs. Please come meet with them as they claim to have important business to discuss with you." Despite his puzzled face, Naruto nodded that he was on his way, a quick glance to his team as they all stood up to join him.

"One for all, _Foxy._ " Naruto blinked at Ino's new nickname for him before striding out past her. He was the point man after all.

What they saw in the busy common room was a large central table holding a good chunk of _Loki Familia_ without their goddess. Instead the blond Prum waited for him to arrive and motioned to an empty chair sandwiched between the Amazon sisters. The elf, the blond swordsmistress, the wolf and a few other family members he didn't recognize rounded out the group.

He noted that the wolf was grumbling curses into his tankard trying to hide the band aids forming "X's" across the bridge of his nose.

Behind him, he could feel Mia's eyes boring into his back.

Once he sat down, the two women on either side of him placed two small sacks of coins the size of medium-sized melons on both sides of his place setting as Eina walked over and stood next to his right shoulder.

"On behalf of the goddess Loki," the Prum began, "please accept this token of our apologies. I hope we can start over with unhurt feelings." The childlike leader spoke unhurriedly, his a voice used to being heard and acknowledged. In that carefully enunciated message, Naruto heard no regret. He was simply a soldier following orders.

"As a representative of the Guild, I recognize that this transaction closes out _Loki Familia's_ responsibilities stemming from their unwarranted attack on Konoha's representatives," chimed in a relieved Eina. Finn bowed from his seated position.

Naruto rose and grabbed all four bags by their tied tops and stepped away from the table before turning back one last time to match stares with the Loki top executive almost as an afterthought.

"The scales are balanced. I wouldn't expect more than that." He turned and walked away much to the pouting displeasure of the slender Tiona. Finn nonchalantly waved away Tione's concerned look.

"We knew this would most likely happen after Loki's brash comments. Give him time to warm up to us." Instead the Loki foot soldier took note of Hestia and his smooth features contorted for the first time. "That, however, might pose a problem."

~III~

Naruto relented after being refused for a third time and the entire group was showed to another table as they sat down for an evening meal. Hestia kept insisting that they keep the Valis since he'd earned it fighting Loki's group prior to joining her _Familia_ so it fell outside of their bargain. Naruto finally gave up and slid two bags over to Anko for the group's loot.

"Naruto-san," the blond's head pivoted to the white-haired knife fighter, "I'm meeting someone to purchase armor tomorrow. Perhaps you would like to join me before we try the dungeon for the first time?" Glancing down at his left gauntlet, Naruto nodded after a short pause saying he was thinking of finding a good smithy anyway. Now he had the Valis to buy what he needed.

Then the spaghetti and ale arrived, and he forgot all else as the first fork full of pasta passed his lips. It was good. Different no doubt, but good.

Hestia leaned back in her chair next to Bell, the boy's enthusiasm rising by the moment as he now had more _Familia_ to bond with. He no longer felt all alone, and it would pain her so once the Konohan group returned to the East. For now, she enjoyed their chatter and light conversation as Bell wormed his way into their hearts. He had the knack for things like that.

Soon enough, with enough ale and food and warm company, the laughter began as the group celebrated the newest _Familia_ additions. At some point, the silver-haired waitress and her Elven co-worker, Lyu, joined in the festivities, presumably to keep the ale flowing.

Naruto, despite his reluctance, began to smile more as the night went on. On more than one occasion, he caught the green-haired elf stealing glimpses his way before finding something interesting in the bottom of her tankard. His eyes darted to a sloshed Asuma, who turned out to be quite the mellow drunk, his slurred voice going on and on about how much he missed his raven-haired beauty. When Anko got tired of laughing at him, she turned to the two serving girls helping themselves to their celebration and asked for something stronger immediately discovering her "acquired taste" for bourbon. It was love at fourth sip. Then it happened.

Naruto chuckled. It was a flicker in the chaos of a rowdy pub but Ino heard it and her already crimson cheeks spread to her neck. It might have helped that she was past three ales into the wind, but the sound caught her ears and made her heart pound in her suddenly too-constricted chest. The sound faded by the time her head swung over to bring his profile into view, but his parted lips and that fanged smile pulled her in. Her body started leaning and she suddenly had a hard time focusing on anything but his inviting lips.

She wanted a kiss. She wanted to kiss those tender lips so badly that she was beginning to feel warm all over, the heat spreading down into her tumbling stomach and beyond.

Her movement caught his eye and suddenly her head was being pressed to his shoulder by a blazingly warm hand layered in heavy callouses. Her eyes were wide, the room was spinning, and the heat from his palm was gently stroking her cheek. Her whole body went rigid, an electric surge shot up her spine, then all of her limbs flushed with a burst of heat. She had the sudden urge to tear off her blouse with the rampant heat wave ravaging her core.

One ice blue peeper was able to roll up enough to see the underside of his strong jaw. He was talking to someone, but his words seemed muffled as her entire consciousness focused on that hand gently laying on her cheek. Somewhere she noted that he smelled like pine needles and she hummed happily.

Before she could force herself to sit up and pull away, something a rather annoyed voice in the back of her mind was chastising her for even considering, his thumb slid up the side of her face and began stroking her temple. The sensation made her entire body convulse in pleasure as Naruto gently rubbed her scalp from the hairline to just above her right ear.

It relaxed her. It soothed her. It also stoked her inner fire and made her breaths come in short bursts with its intimacy. Her eyes shot up again to his chin, her suddenly dry mouth trying to croak out a sound, his name, something to make him look down and see the want in her eyes. It was not to be as he lifted his hand just off her skin, something that made her mewl in disappointment, before gently running his fingers through her hair all at once. The wave of pleasure closed her eyes and they didn't open again as he soothed her straight into unconsciousness.

Naruto chuckled once again when the alcohol in the ale took over and Ino started drooling on his shoulder, her soft snores blowing onto his neck. Seeing that she was comfortably asleep, he turned his attention back to the other people at the table noting Lyu's growing blush and Hestia's contented smile as she relaxed for the first time in the evening.

She arrived tense earlier in the night unsure what to expect from the group of foreigners and now she had three followers to protect her family. It was enough for now.

By the end of the night, Hestia even managed to no longer feel guilty about the extra tiny Blessing she'd given the blond girl to help her win the heart of her secret crush, the _Maiden's Wellspring_. She couldn't wait to see how the girl's figure reacted once her strength began to grow. If the boy, like all boys, was impressed by large assets, he was in for a pleasant shock in a few years.

~III~

Naruto awoke flat on his back, his body feeling heavier than normal first thing in the morning. He chalked that up to the honey-colored ale he drank the night before and stretched his arms out, his back popping and aligning pleasantly. It was still early, no light coming in yet through the heavy curtains. He could hear Anko and Asuma both snoring up a storm in their beds and he chuckled as he remembered making clones to escort Hestia and Bell home before making more to carry his entire drunken team upstairs then stand watch. He grinned as Ino stretched out her body cutely laying atop his chest as she was and…

"…"

Ino was laying on his bare chest.

"…"

Ino's bare chest was laying pressed against his bare chest.

"…"

Ino's chest was bigger than he thought. Gently shaking his ale-fueled cobwebs out so as to not wake up the peacefully sleeping kunoichi, he gently brushed her long bangs from her face ignoring the pool of drool collecting in the cleft between his pectorals and upper abdominals. His hand transitioned to gently stroking the left side of her face, her cheek and the soft hairs around her temples becoming his favorite targets.

Ino moaned pleasantly and pushed her cheek into his palm, her left hand rising off of his chest to press his hand against her face. She was mumbling something even as he felt her thighs squeeze sensually against the side of his legs and, with a slight sigh, he half-expected to hear Sasuke-teme's name purr from her pouty lips. Oh well, some guys had all the shitty luck.

' _Damn, she's gorgeous even first thing in the morning.'_

"Nnngh, Na-Naruto… don't… stop. Warm… Don't leave… leave me."

He was stunned. His ears had to be going bad. Even as her right arm slid up under his left and clutched at his sides, his mind tried to deny what he'd heard. It must have been the sleep, the ale. His brain was floundering.

" _ **Stop being so dense, meat sack."**_ Angry as he was at the Kyuubi's intrusion, the flea bag had a point. How could anyone deny this?

His left hand slid up the slumbering girl's back, his fingers brushing just the tips along her pale skin. The smooth lines of her face held him entranced as her lips parted forming a sleepy "O" shape. Ino's head lifted from his chest, drooling string and all, as her back arched revealing both sides of her bulging chest smashed against his ribcage. She exhaled and it was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard, a gentle rush of wind as her eyes fluttered opened in shock and lust.

Ice blue pools of light met sparkling sapphires of the richest blue as time stood still.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

 **[C-Rank] Ninpon: Jouro Senbon (Sprinkling Needles):** Jouro Senbon is a technique utilized by Rain ninjas. After hurling their umbrellas into the air, they unleash a torrent of needles. Using their chakra, they can guide these needles towards their opponent. Aoi is not very adept despite being ranked as a Jounin and often relies on blanketing the area with as many needles as possible.

~III~


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Well, I must say that I am honestly surprised how few of you want to see Naruto with Ino judging by the ongoing poll. It's interesting to see where the opinions lie, especially since Yugao, in my opinion, is like the free Anko twinnie. I will say that it is highly unlikely for Naruto to get both Samui and Mabui, so I'll include which ever one gets the most votes (they're neck and neck for now) if they make it to the top five. Given how many people claim to be tired of the NaruHina mix, I was surprised to see her make a strong comeback. I always thought her good for the hyperactive shinobi as a calming presence. She's also smokin' hot later in canon.

One thing on the poll, I will add names recommended in PMs and reviews if they're new, but, if you really want to get your favorite up in the top 5, you should click on the link at the top of my profile and get them an actual vote. It makes it easier to tally them up and makes things less complicated in figuring out who is in the lead.

NOTE: This does not mean that a CRA will happen. Harems are difficult to write well and this poll will help me narrow done serious love interests in the home stretch. This may be Naru-hina. It could be Naru-Eina. Who knows.

As a warning, I will be closing out the CRA poll Friday, January 25th, 2019 either way so you have time to get your votes in. That gives you a few days, but not many. Don't dawdle!

Again, thank you to everyone taking the time to do this. As always, I am humbled by your support for a new writer like myself on only my third ff.

 **Jjay:** Njord would never leave Melen. He loves his beach-boy image too much and scores major fan girl love in the process. Ino, while loving her eye candy, is also pretty level headed. I think she's trying to fill the empty Sasuke void right now but this to shall pass. Have no fear.

 **Zabzab:** I wrote out a lengthy, and probably rambling, explanation about the "two-magic system" in this fanfic. In actuality it's not a colliding system but I'll write more of its application as the story progresses. This will most likely not be Naruto's only visit to Istoria, especially if Eina makes it into the final Bachelor round.

On the point of ease of access, the system is limited to the deity's acceptance of the supplicant. In this case, it's not unlikely that Orochimaru would have approached one or two "gods" and discovered a couple "disturbing" facts.

One, it's impossible to fool one of these temporarily mortal-plane dwelling beings. While they refrain, and the proper word is refrain, they still maintain a few of their godly attributes and, with a communal agreement, use some of their minor powers for informational purposes. In essence, you can't lie to one so they would have seen through his b.s. and told him to pound sand, which brings us to the more likely Orochi-bastard response.

Two, yes, Orochi-pedo would be miles more powerful than any adventurer and, in their weakened, self-imposed exiled state, he'd be able to trash the entire nation, it would only take him going through his normal routine of "I'm going to kill enough gods until one of them gives me what I want" before they realize something is up, call a temporary truce, then either reset the whole board by either handing the snake fiend his ass by killing him outright or sending him packing as a lesson to others with the same bat-shit crazy idea. Forcefully ejecting him as a lesson to any would-be S-ranked fiends better serves their purposes. NOTE: "Killing" a deity, which is just destroying their corporeal forms and not their essence, results in huge columns of light shooting into heavens no matter where you are (plus minor property damage as a result) so it's hard to hide it. Two or three of those in a week and you have the beginnings of a serious problem that's hard to miss.

For the purposes of my story, I did consider that and might have possibly played all of that scenario out for just that reason. Gods tend to respond when they're being hunted and send powerful avatars to smash their enemies.

Istoria is meant to be a bridge between the east and the west as it gives the greater chance to recruit new talent, most of it being the failed shinobi drop outs as the system isn't really powerful enough to entice the super strong shinobi of the elemental kingdoms. Add in the fact that they [shinobi] tend to overdo things in stressful situations, they'd end up pulling in more Nature chakra then they could handle and wind up stone statues making the risk far outweigh the benefits. This system isn't intended as an overwhelming attractor to shinobi that can become more powerful than even the strongest adventurer by the time they reach Chunin and any shinobi with half a brain would see that after being forced to spelunk dungeons for years to gain any perceivable benefits. Istoria, and by default Orario, is intentionally meant to be a haven for people trying to hide in a place that won't attract the really powerful people out to kill them for all the dirty crap they did before fleeing. The good thing is that Istoria, as a whole, is aware that people lie and tend to turn a blind eye to it provided the dirtbags in question pull their weight in mana crystals and the elemental nations don't come looking for their missing nin, at which time they can conveniently hide behind the "No lying to us about your felonious background rule" and quietly hand them over.

I designed this small corner of the nations to provide a gap fill for low-level story plots and add a little color via the _Crossover no Jutsu_ power given to writers.

 **Fuyuriku:** As always, thank you for the edits and I hope one day to cause you less eye-twitching. Just ask Zabzab, as he's the Beta for my Nature of the Beast sequel and probably lives off of anti-headache medicine.

 **Anon:** Thank you. I hope you are not disappointed.

 **Reverentwolf:** You, Sir, are most kind. Thank you for the wonderful comments and I hope you continue to enjoy my work. I'm not a large fan of crossovers but I tried to keep this one as seamless as possible. Hey, if I don't try then I have no room to complain about other people's work. Do I? As a sidenote, I will look into the Kingkiller Chronicles. I think you will enjoy the omake at the end, which I was going to remove until I read your review.

 **Killendell:** Welcome to my little distraction!

 **Note:** Added Ais Wallenstein, and the Twins, Tione and Tiona Hiryute to the CRA Poll by request.

To the Guest Reviewer that asked about "Maiden's Wellspring," I will be including more detail about that in the next few chapter releases.

Also, can anyone tell me if something being "really mangoey" is a good or bad thing? I am honestly curious.

As always, back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Edited 25 JAN 2019 thanks to my unofficial Beta, Furyuriku-sama.**

 **Re-Edited 27 JAN 2019 because evidently folks don't like to be teased with plot twists and surprise drama (Zabzab). Okay, I've filled in some questionable material that may be a bit racier for some. I have marked those areas with warnings for those of you under the age of 18. This fanfic has an M rating for a reason but I am trying to be responsible up front and give you adequate warning. Please act responsibly and accordingly.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 11: Not Quite Love, Actually**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

 _His left hand slid up the slumbering girl's back, his fingers brushing just the tips along her pale skin. The smooth lines of her face held him entranced as her lips parted forming a sleepy "O" shape. Ino's head lifted from his chest, drooling string and all, as her back arched revealing both sides of her bulging chest smashed against his ribcage. She sighed, a gentle rush of wind as her eyes fluttered opened in shock and lust._

 _Ice blue pools of light met sparkling sapphires of the richest blue as time stood still._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Orario City: Second Floor Room of Team Ten,** _ **The Hostess of Fertility**_

"Ino?" Naruto blinked in surprise and confusion. His face was beet-red and his body tensed up expecting to receive a beatdown any moment now. If this wasn't righteous beating material for the justifiably homicidal female gender, then he truly didn't know what qualified. It didn't matter that he was dressed in his normal sleeping attire lying on the floor per his normal routine and that she'd stripped down in her drunken stupor to climb on top of him dressed only in her sheer purple panties.

He was a guy; therefore, he was always wrong in matters of intimacy and women. End of story.

His left hand was in full-hover mode above her right side and his right was still being pressed to her cheek by her own palm. This registered in Ino's sluggish mind as the fog of the previous night began to slowly burn away. A few other things pummeled her in the back of her thundering brain as she blinked crazily stalling for time.

Her face was wet. A quick glance down showed the trail of drool hanging precariously from her mouth to the glistening patch of _gorgeous_ muscle where her face had rested not seconds before. Her cheeks warmed at the sight of his magnificent torso up close and her legs clenched again. This action brought on a few more immediate discoveries.

She was nearly naked and he was mostly dressed. Her quick glance down to the puddle of slobber she'd left on his body revealed the upper slopes of her fully-exposed breasts, the nipples hidden by the rock-hard bricks of his stomach. _'Kami, he's solid muscle and this feels good.'_ Her legs squeezed again on instinct reminding her of her second realization and her face flushed full-on-cherry-red as she sucked in a deep breath of air, which only proved to rub her already sensitive nubs against his burning hot flesh.

She was dressed only in her undergarments (specifically the ones covering her lower half), her bare thighs were clamped feverishly against his equally rock-hard legs (which made her body shiver deliciously), she was soaking wet down there, and something else hard, thick, and pulsing was rubbing her in a very intimate location making her discomfort level rise just as fast as her arousal.

"Um, Ino? Ino, shouldn't-."

Her left hand shot up instantly to cover his mouth. She couldn't process his words right now since her brain was trying to chug through the booze's effects on her memory at the moment. Her eyes snapped up again to see confusion, embarrassment, fear (and was that desire?) waging war in the most perfect pair of blue eyes she'd ever seen in her life. As her sheer panic mounted, she resorted to Emergency Kunoichi Protocol Seven-dash-One: In the event of a tactical disadvantage before the opposite gender, execute a tactical withdrawal, deny everything laying the blame on destructive toxins in your body (like alcohol), and deny any and all emotional attachments.

She ran.

"Close your eyes!" she hissed. He blinked but then clamped them shut immediately after. Naruto sighed in disappointment right after he felt the sucking loss of her body heat when her incredibly soft skin left contact with his own. He could not put in to words how much he enjoyed her weight on top of him, or how much the heat from her skin on his made him feel good. Even now, especially now, with his eyes closed he could smell her flowery shampoo and a deep wave of disappointment overtook him. He could also smell the alcohol oozing out of her pores but you take the good with the bad, right?

He kept his eyes closed until he heard the bathroom door close with a soft click.

The horrible wait in the dark gave him time to recognize the angry pulsing between his own legs and, as was appropriate, Naruto groaned miserably. He was going to have the mother of all pains unless he took care of that later. _Kami,_ she was fine in her clothes, but he'd only caught glimpses of her curvy body, the swelling slopes of her ass emblazoned clearly into his memory. He was sorely tempted, horribly tempted, to peek as she fled to the bathroom if only to see what she looked like from behind but that would have been the height of treachery.

No matter how much they fought and argued, she was his teammate and he wouldn't betray her like that.

Sitting up with another groan, he grimaced as the still wet pool of slobber began to run down his stomach, his hand that had once gently stroked the silky plane of her back was now slapping at and wiping off the cooling liquid as he dried his palm on his sleeping bag.

With one last look at the firmly shut bathroom door, Naruto rose and prepared to gather his belongings for his turn in the bathroom. He needed to meet Bell in a few hours and he was definitely not going to get any more sleep after that wakeup call.

~III~

Inside the small bathroom, Ino was trying valiantly not to hyperventilate. Her mind was still slogging through the haze of last night's drinking binge. _'Ugh! Ale is deceptively effective!'_ She was also nervous, her hands shaking and her breath still coming in short bursts.

At least he wasn't trying to stare at her fleeing bottom while she ran like a coward. Ino knew because she kept turning around to make sure he wasn't peeking. She hissed at herself and fought every instinct telling her to cry it out in frustration. _She had him! Then she RAN AWAY!_

Standing with her back against the door and her few hastily-snatched garments clutched to her body, her head gently thumped against the wooden slab shielding her from his piercing gaze as her eyes slid shut. She was only vaguely aware of the cool surface chilling her skin from the tops of her shoulders to the rounded curves of her ass.

There was no way around it. She'd have to stay in here until someone else woke up and could prevent Naruto from asking her what was going on. She needed time to think. She needed time to come to grips with _what the hell just happened!_

She liked Sasuke, didn't she? She dreamed of a life with the clan heir to the Uchiha, didn't she? _'Well,'_ she considered honestly for the first time to herself, _'that hadn't been the case for a few months now.'_ Blond images of a ripped Genin sweating under the Konohan sun had invaded her steamy nights on more than one occasion. She blushed again remembering several of her private "Sasuke Moments" morphing into "Naruto Moments" that left her breathless while her body convulsed.

If she was being honest with herself, she knew why they were always more intense and… _satisfying._ He was always around her. He was always open to her in more ways than one and familiarity breeds all kinds of things besides contempt, including mind-blowing orgasms alone in your bedroom or shower. She wanted to thank every Kami she knew for the person that invented detachable shower heads.

Glancing around the tiny bathroom, she grumbled at the lack of a proper shower in this backwards nation. It would be enough to clean away the stickiness between her thighs, but she'd need a real bath later when she went with Anko tonight. Trudging over to the stool in the middle of a tiled ring, her soaked panties hit the floor while the rest of her clothes found their way to the basket cubby attached to the wall.

Plopping down on the cool seat, she turned on the water to fill the wooden bucket before flipping the lever to send water up to the tiny shower head, grumbling again that it was non-detachable. Soaking her still high-strung and sensitive body, Ino cut the water and began lathering her curvy form, wincing slightly at the tenderness of her breasts.

' _Just lovely. I'll have to deal with that in a few days as well. I can't wait for this wonderful mission to end!'_

Being extra careful around her sensitive chest, her mind wandered back to the mental image of her body pressed up against the incredibly hot one that belonged to her teammate and, before too long, her soapy hands started wandering their way down her flat stomach to the soft patch of blond hair between her legs.

~III~

Grumbling, Naruto suffered through the dull ache as he tried to spread his legs without seeming like he was spreading his legs. It was surprisingly hard to do while walking down the busy main street of Orario with a ferocious case of blue balls. Damn Ino and her terminal case of "hotness."

Ignoring the odd looks from one or two passerbys, especially since they were better than the glares of Konoha, he worked his way towards the center of town and waited at the western entrance to Babel Tower, as requested last night by Bell.

Looking up, the tower itself reached into the sky like an angry finger. He chuckled to himself trying to force out of his mind the image of what he really thought it looked like. Whatever. Who was he to criticize another culture's architecture?

The ugly tower wasn't all there was to it, however. A large circular building four stories high surrounded the base of the tower, its walls made of the same hard stone. Peeking into the ground level archway large enough for two carts to pass through side-by-side, the archway led to a tunnel along which were small shops you could walk into. Further on, the tunnel appeared to open up and he could see a stone like bridge leading over a chasm and into the base of the tower.

Turning back around, Naruto found a spot next to the entrance and leaned against the outer wall while he waited for his new "clan buddy" for today's excursion. He hoped whoever the rabbit child was bringing along was at least pleasant enough to pass the time with as he settled into his favorite pastime: people watching.

~III~

Ino emerged from the bathroom to an annoyed Shikamaru, who stopped her fully in the doorway. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, she could still see Asuma and Anko in their respective beds, both dead to the world. Her eyes snapped back to his face once his hands landed on her shoulders immediately before he spun them around trading places.

She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off by calmly raising the flat of his hand between the two of them, forcing her to lean back a bit and blink repeatedly.

"I don't care what you and Naruto were into this morning," he waved his hand in her face once again to interrupt her potential interruption of his ongoing mini-speech. "Technically, according to the laws of our village you're an adult now and can do whatever you want with whomever you want. Just make sure you aren't compromising our mission, use whatever protection you deem necessary," she blushed brightly at this point, "and if you ever hog the bathroom all morning again, I'll use my clan's shadow jutsu to reach under the door and physically remove you – naked or not." The light blush on her cheeks became flaming hot.

Having said his piece, he took two steps backwards and grabbed the door's edge. "Get ready. We're going to go find the academy today and see about getting you some training in their healing techniques. Might as well while we're here."

With that, he closed the door rather brusquely. A moment later she flushed with embarrassment as her ears resonated with the heavy sound of running water and Shikamaru's draining moan of relief. Spinning about to deal with her clothes, a much more relaxed Ino set about tidying up her area before they went downstairs for breakfast.

The _Hostess_ converted into a café during the early hours and she was looking forward to some crusty bread and light fruit. Her mind hummed at the thought of some more of that soft cheese from yesterday to spread on a warm slice of bread and all was right with the world. The desire for something greasy nearly made her puke so "playing it safe" was the phrase of the day.

~III~

At roughly the same time, two people were walking through the crowded streets of Orario to meet up with a third. The young male was happily chattering with the beautiful half-elf oblivious to the murderous stares of the jealous men they passed while the lovely creature responding to his kind comments was having an internal battle of wills.

On the one hand, she was awfully fond of the gentle but bumbling adventurer that was once her sole advisee in the Guild.

On the other hand, her emerald eyes kept filling up with images of the bronzed Adonis of a brawler that had gone toe-to-toe with _Loki Familia_ then joined Hestia's group to protect the current front runner of her affections.

She had to admit, her dreams were considerably racier when they included the rough and rugged young man that held a quiet intelligence she found more to her liking. Plus, _by the gods_ he was handsome in that feral way that made her daydream of loin cloths and tree houses.

Not that anyone would ever live that way even among the Elves. There were standards of living for a reason you know.

Fighting down another rampant blush and having finally shed her stuffy Guild uniform, the curvy representative glided down the street as she listened to the flattering comments of a boy she knew would never give her his love. Oh, she'd childishly hoped that Bell would grow fond of her big sister personality, his admiration evolving to a deeper relationship like in the romance plays, but that boat sailed once _she_ came into the picture. His heart had already been taken after all by the unreachable Ais Wallenstein. At least now she had hope with the newcomer even as she guiltily searched the crowd for a glimpse of the golden-haired set of whiskers that held her rapt infatuation of late.

"You are very kind to indulge me, Bell-san," Eina commented as her eyes darted to the pale crown of a Chienthrope headed into a small tavern. She tried to hide her disappointed shame from the bouncing young man to her right. "It has been some time since I've been out and about like this, with someone other than Misha that is."

Bell blinked in utter disbelief. "Really? I'm surprised to hear that, Eina-san. I figured guys would be unable to leave a beauty like you alone." The reserved Guild receptionist and advisor blushed for real that time. If he'd said something like that only a few days ago, and actually meant feelings of affection, her heart would have leapt out of her chest. Now they only made her conscious enough to blush and wonder if her choice in attire had been appropriate for the outing.

She was going to wear her Guild uniform to keep things official, that is until Bell swung by and mentioned that he'd invited a certain newcomer to join them. It was a good thing that Eina tended to work late hours and had been looking up information requested by his teammate, Shikamaru-san. Pleasant boy that he was, she was not attracted to his terminally lazy personality, a realization constantly reinforced by his given choice of fruit-oriented haircut styles. Nervously glancing down to the partially-exposed tops of her thighs, the Elf suddenly blushed a deep crimson as her hands shot to the now overly-warm skin of her cheeks.

She'd doffed the stuffy shirt and vest for a light button-up blouse that gently hugged her curves, the long sleeves and neck trimmed in lacy frills of white to compliment the sunny pale yellow of the garment. An appropriately small bow of pale green was tied around her neck to form a makeshift-tie, which she'd grown used to as part of her daily ensemble at work. Her earth-brown shoulder bag tapped gently against her curvy hip as the strap all but vanished in the deep valley of her chest. The forest green pleated skirt fluttered around her upper thighs as she walked showing a tantalizing amount of creamy flesh for the handful of centimeters it bared her legs before the even darker green of her stockings took over shielding the leagues of curvy muscle sheathed in a thin layer of womanly softness.

She took pride in her appearance after all and enjoyed her recurring dancing and fencing lessons held in her communal Guild apartment building.

The soft soles of her black shoes, sensible slippers of silk and by far her favorite, muffled her padded footfalls as she pictured her brawny defender tearing off her shirt, buttons flying in all directions as-.

She reigned in that particular fantasy with a gentle shake of her head. She was in public after all and had to maintain proper control. The thought did make her heart race a bit and her stride brought out a rarely seen sway to her full hips.

A man screamed nearby as a distracted waiter poured scalding tea in his lap by mistake.

Bell, watching her odd display of introspection tried to brush it off as the normally reserved Eina being embarrassed at her casual, and damned impressive, dress for the day and so tried to distract her to ease her mind.

Bless his heart.

"So, Eina-san. You never mentioned why we were to meet Naruto-senpai at Babel Tower today." His curious eyes watched her as the pink blush slowly faded to be replaced with her normal work-like focus.

"That's because we're going to help you buy some new armor." She glanced over at him with a warm smile. "You lost yours in your battle with the silverback, did you not?" Bell could only nod at the memory. That beast had nearly killed both him and the goddess. If it hadn't been for her last-minute gift… His hand wandered back to the hilt of the knife slung into his lower back, remarking not for the first time, how reassuring it felt and how convenient the location was for keeping his hands unobstructed.

"But we don't have a lot of money as a _Familia_ , Eina-san and the only armorers this way work for _Hephaestus Familia_." He seemed downtrodden but Eina only smiled all the more.

"Never fear, Bell-san. All shall be revealed in time."

Right about that time she looked up to gaze at the tower base and the crowd parted enough to reveal a blond-haired god-among-men leaning casually against the stone wall of the tower base, his forearms crossed and bulging thick with muscle. A jacket hung slung over one shoulder while his crossed arms pinned it to his lithe body.

He'd left off his gauntlet today and the sight as his eyes swung to lock onto hers forced the breath from her lungs in a sibilant hiss.

Yesterday he'd been in baggy travel clothes. Today, since Bell was taking him to the dungeon after their meeting, he was wearing black trousers that disappeared into a pair of polished boots reaching half-way up his shins. His thick leather belt hung just far enough past the buckle to dangle near a meaty thigh. The black tee shirt he wore clung to every surface as if his body was its sole source of life and nourishment and she blessed whatever tailor made it given the glistening sheen along every bulge and curve as he breathed and shifted when standing up from the wall. It was even better that it had no sleeves and bared the rocky bulges forming his biceps and shoulders. _'Oh, to clutch and scratch at those.'_

Eina suddenly felt unconscionably warm in a place she was glad had direct access to the cooling fall breeze.

Shikamaru had informed her the first day of their meeting that his team would forgo wearing their metal symbol of nationality, meaning that the golden halo atop Naruto's head freely framed his rugged face and hung about his eyes and cheeks like a mane.

Without realizing what she was doing, Eina found herself standing close enough to Naruto that her chest was brushing up against his stomach as she gulped in nervous amounts of air, her tilted upwards with her eyes staring up into his deep blue orbs as her mind fought furiously to string two coherent words together.

She oddly commented to herself how cute he was when his eyebrows knitted together in confusion like that, as a buzzing noise started to pick up near her right ear. Her right hand came up to wave off whatever insect was pestering her as her lips began to part to help her suck in more oxygen to cool off her heated face.

Then she shamefully realized that the annoying buzz belonged to Bell as he gently grabbed her shoulders to pull her away from the cautiously concerned Naruto.

As she took a stumbling step back, painfully aware how nice it felt to rub against the magnificent specimen a few years her junior, realization struck, and her face blossomed into a beautiful shade of rose red.

Bell took pity upon her and stepped in to diffuse the situation.

"So, are we ready to buy some armor?" The white-haired boy chuckled nervously now that the uncomfortable tension was fading. Odd that Naruto-senpai didn't seem too offended by Eina accidentally invading his personal space like that.

Bless his heart, again.

~III~

Naruto chuckled softly and nodded his thanks to Bell. The woman was gorgeous, but he'd had enough frustration for one morning. Besides, he was still rolling over in his mind the short red head carrying a backpack five times the size of her Prum-sized body as she nearly bowled over Bell during their final approach. Not noticing her lifting his money purse or anything like that, he filed her tiny face away for later reference and let Eina pull him along into the tunnel behind them.

The force of three headed inside, small shops of all sorts lining the interior passage displaying everything from climbing gear (ropes, wires, spikes, belaying pins, and the like) to fancy and exotic garments with mystical properties.

Eina giggled as Naruto strolled casually from display window to display window asking questions about items that caught his eye and their uses, questions she was more than happy to answer. When they came across an open shop door with some scantily-clad animal woman leering up at him trying to entice him further, she found herself surprisingly willing to wrap her arms around one of his thick biceps in order to pull his blushing attention back to her while she deftly maneuvered him away.

The fact that his arm was sandwiched between her large globes of flesh had nothing to do with the deceptive ease of her success or his very cute sputtering.

Well, almost nothing.

The Complex, as it was referred to among adventurers, held more than weapons, armor and equipment shops, and the best places were found farther in. While the master-level smithies were located in the tower itself, the upper layers between the second and tenth to be exact, the shops surrounding the tower included several inns for adventurers to rest in, a half dozen pubs, public showers and restrooms, as well as a Guild Branch and an exchange for trading in crystals or currency from foreign lands.

Eina led them past it all and into the tower core itself, Bell sputtering the whole way about how he couldn't afford anything in the "core."

Naruto glanced over the edge of the western landbridge leading to the tower, one of four actually. It spanned a ravine that stretched down into the inky blackness, but he noticed a pair of stone steps following the ravine's curved walls deep into the earth below.

Bell pointed out that those were steps leading to the first level of the dungeon. They would be using them later on today.

For now, into the tower they went bypassing another more elaborate stairway leading below. Inside the tower ground floor were emergency medical people and Guild representatives that waved happily at Eina and her entourage. Moments later, the three of them were inside a box-like contraption just before a sliding door closed and the floor lurched upwards making their stomachs drop. When the small room rumbled to a stop and the door slid open, a clearly-shaken Bell and Naruto both stumbled through the opening looking back at the _riser platform_ as if it were a snake about to bite them.

Eina giggled and moved past them both to begin pointing out the high-quality shops on the fourth floor of the tower, their current location.

She didn't stay long, just long enough to cloud over Bell's eyes with all of the shiny objects on display in clear glass display windows. The boy was bedazzled, his eyes flying to every gilded knife and bejeweled blade he could find, his exuberance diminished only by the multi-million Valis price tags attached to each item. They were crafted by master smiths of the _Hephaestus Familia_ and their price reflected their quality of work.

Naruto noted the numbers on the placards next to each item then his keen eyes noted the similarity between the engraved Hephaestus name on those items and the glyphs carved into the sheath of Bell's knife tucked into his back. At some point Bell must have noticed as well as he grew extremely pale looking at a particularly nice short blade before his eyes snapped open and his knife sheath found its way into his hand.

He had mentioned just the other night that Hestia had called it a "one-of-a-kind" weapon forged as a favor to the goddess herself. Naruto didn't want to attempt a guess at its value and instead continued to frown disapprovingly at the gaudy items sparkling in each window.

Shinobis thrived in the shadows and this stuff would paint a target on his back from miles away. He needed something better suited to his occupation that could take the abuse of fighting beasts all day long.

He needed a custom job.

Fortunately for him, Eina took them to the eighth floor where the prices dropped several zeroes and took on a more rough-edged appeal. She explained that all of Hephaestus's journeymen smiths sold their wares on this level meaning that they hadn't earned the right to use the _Familia_ sigil meaning they could not charge the prices they saw below. This meant Bell could find something within his current budget.

Naruto was either not so lucky or just far more selective. While Bell found a nearly complete set of armor made by a smith named Welf Crozzo that he adored, Naruto came away empty handed. Eina, feeling sad on his behalf, hoped that he could find someone to help him and mentioned a _Familia_ better suited to custom work, the _Goibinu Familia_ in the northwest sector of town.

The fact that the nineteen-year old Guild representative lived in that part of town had absolutely nothing to do with her recommendation. Absolutely nothing at all.

She'd have to find a creative way to get Misha to stay out late once or twice.

Outside as they were saying farewell, things got a bit awkward as Eina was preparing to part company with them. Having a good idea where this was headed from years of dealing with Hinata's crush, Naruto looked over to Bell and told him that he'd meet him back here in thirty minutes for their first foray together into the dungeon.

"Huh?" came the boy's eloquent response.

"I'm going to escort our lovely hostess home while you go gear up. I'll meet you here in thirty minutes then you can show me this awesome dungeon you're so excited about." Bell's face broke out into a grin as he bowed to Eina-san before dashing off.

"Oh, Naruto-san, you don't have to-." He politely cut her off by gently taking her hand and stopping her mind mid-apology.

"I realize you're a woman capable of handling herself but my jiji says, 'Naruto, a gentleman always escorts a lady home. It's the proper thing to do.'" His gravely voice was supposed to imitate a much older person, but it only came out squeaky making Eina smile and flush pink all over again. Offering her his elbow, Naruto started off slowly as she clasped his arm and fell into step alongside him.

He did his best to keep her laughing and giggling as they stepped casually through the northwestern streets to her home. He also tried to ignore the way her chest kept rubbing against his elbow.

Fifteen minutes later, she was kissing him on the cheek and dashing inside her apartment building with a full-body flush.

Naruto felt indestructible for the rest of that day.

~III~

Asuma and Anko were both set up comfortably at a medium-sized table in the _Hostess_ , their tankards resting comfortably between their fingers. Their outing had been less than beneficial, unless you counted finding fifteen taverns within easy walk of their inn beneficial. Apparently Orarians were weary of strangers and their little dust up with _Loki Familia_ had placed everyone wanting to not end up on the wrong side of that group at arm's length from Team Ten.

Asuma cursed for the thirtieth time that day.

"Nut up, Asuma. The gaki didn't know it would have this affect on us. He just wanted to protect his team and I can't fault him for that." Asuma merely grunted in frustration.

"I'm not upset with how he handled it." The purplenette raised an eyebrow in question. "Hell, I'd have done the same thing. I was just hoping to keep a lower profile than this." Anko nodded in agreement and flagged down an Elven waitress she liked quickly placing an order for _the trencher,_ her newest second favorite. Fresh-baked bread slathered in a thick meat stew? It wasn't Dango, well, nothing was Dango, but it was plenty good and plenty filling.

She was going to steer clear of the bourbon for a while. Gaki had been on her about slowing down her consumption and, for once, she thought it might not be a bad idea in a foreign country where people wanted to club you senseless and drag you off for who-knows-what.

No sooner had she placed an order than an exhausted looking Shikamaru flopped down with an overexcited Ino hot on his tail.

"Went well I take it?" Asuma chirped out. His only answer was Shikamaru's head thumping on the table hard enough to shake their drinks and Ino's eyes glowing like light bulbs while her head ratcheted up and down like a teeter totter. What followed next was a dizzying explanation of healing in Orario and two spells she'd been given by the school along with a first-year textbook to assist her individual studies.

"From what it sounds like," she began without having taken a breath, "it's a lot like _iryō jutsu_ only that they're converting this mana into healing energy. It's even green like our medic nins so no one will know the difference if I'm using my chakra or this mana stuff. Plus, I don't have to learn hand seals because I can cast these spells with incantations or chants!"

That was good news and it would be helpful to the team in the long run. Asuma didn't even start worrying until her lips started turning blue from oxygen deprivation.

"Will you be able to use this back in Konoha?" the older Kunoichi fired off hoping to prevent the girl from passing out. Ino grinned even wider if that was possible.

"Yes, apparently the ethereum connects all living things so I should still have access back home. Furthermore, the more I use it, the stronger I'll become with it so, if we ever come back and Hestia is still here, she can update my status and Blessing." Good news that it was, it made Asuma a bit nervous.

"You're going to keep it? I thought you were going drop it once the mission was over?" The young lady frowned briefly.

"Originally I was because I'm not into tattoos and body piercings beyond my earrings. However, if Hestia can indeed hide it from view, I see no reason not to keep it. It might not be as powerful as chakra-based healing, but it is a source of healing that could save someone's life especially if I were already low on chakra myself."

Asuma couldn't fault the logic and neither could Anko. Then the conversation came to a screeching halt when Naruto showed up and dumped several large bags of coins in the middle of the table.

~III~

Naruto had a profound look of disappointment on his face as he stood there next to the table, his eyes fixed on the twinkling coins buried within burlap brown. He was trying not to make eye contact with anyone, especially anyone that might be a very pretty blond girl with ice blue eyes trying just as hard not to make eye contact with him.

"Take a load off Gaki and tell us what you found out." He nodded then worked his way to take an empty seat on the far side of Shikamaru, his face landing on his hands instead of on his teammates. Both Jounin noticed but let it slide. Shikamaru had hinted that something might be going on between the blonds, so they weren't completely surprised at the sudden need for distance. If it got prickly, they'd jump in.

"First off, Hestia, no kidding, lives in the basement of an abandoned church. They're basically living in poverty and Bell's dungeon income plus her part-time work," Asume blinked at that part, "keeps them just above starving. Tonight's haul will go a long way to setting them up better."

Asuma glanced at the heavy bags with concern. "Shouldn't you have left them one of those?" Naruto chuckled as he shared a brief recount of the day's adventures inside the upper levels.

 _Recap No Jutsu – Dungeon Edition_

Naruto followed the eager rabbit down the wide steps to the first level, his eyes adjusting easily to the almost glowing aura coming from the walls.

"So, how does this work, Bell?" Red eyes whipped back as they finished off the last few steps.

"The dungeon is a maze of increasing difficulty the further down you go. Each level is connected to the next by a stairwell or open hole leading downward. Monsters spawn out of the stone around us to defend their home and we slay them in order to farm the mana crystals they carry here," he tapped the middle of his chest. "Be careful not to strike the crystal otherwise you'll destroy it making it worthless."

Naruto sniffed the air tentatively. While there was a heavy stench of death and blood, it wasn't as heavy as it should have been in an underground cavern like this where things died constantly.

"And what happens to the carcasses?"

"Once we harvest the stones, the bodies break down into dust and get reabsorbed into the dungeon. At least, that's what Eina-san tells me."

Naruto grunted in acceptance. He had little reason to ever doubt the intelligent woman. His mental browsing was cut off by the sound of stone crackling and popping at the end of the medium sized room they'd stumbled into first. Moments later, a half dozen spindly-legged creatures the size of Prums rose from the floor of the room, their dog-like heads swinging around to stare at the lightly armed duo. A few of them growled sounding like the small dogs they represented.

Naruto casually drew his blades and growled back as the razor-sharp edges hummed with wind chakra, Bell nervously matching him after a moment or two minus the hissing blades bit. Then Naruto charged and Kobolds throughout the room began losing their heads. Literally.

 _Recap No Jutsu – Dungeon Edition, Kai!_

"And it continued like that all the way down to level ten. Monsters kept popping up and I kept taking their heads, even the colorful little guy that gave me this. He held up an egg about the size of Ino's fist that appeared to be made of intricately-carved gold. Her eyes goggled at the small gems forming a circle around the middle of the object, mostly rubies, sapphires and emeralds.

"Bell didn't want it, refused to take it actually saying he never even saw the bird before I beheaded it." Anko's eyes flickered up from the group and she signed for him to stow it away.

[Hide object, too many eyes.]

It vanished like a desert mirage.

"We got a bunch of other stuff, goblin fangs, kobold nails and a few finger blades from these shadowy creatures. Bell asked me to store a bunch of it in my empty storage scrolls saying we could sell them to alchemists later. He was really excited about these blue butterfly wings covered in this really fine powder for some reason." He glanced up into the blushing face of the Elven waitress when she returned and he asked politely for another round of that spaghetti dish she brought him the night before. The quiet gal nodded once then strode off to the kitchen without taking another order much to everyone else's dismay.

"Anyway, I had to create a few clones to harvest stones full-time because the monsters just kept spawning. It was non-stop until Bell realized how long we'd been down there, and the time came where we had to turn around and fight our way back to the surface."

Shikamaru made mental note of that even with his head stuck to the table. Any trip into the dungeon meant you had to plan for a fight both ways. No easy day there.

"That leads me to my second point. The clones picked up enough stones that we made a crap-ton of Valis. Bell and I already deposited their cut into their Guild account and this," he motioned to the bags on the table, "is the leftover. Well, those three bags plus these three bars." Naruto gently put three bars of gold as thick as his finger, as long as his palm, and three centimeters wide. The Koine runes just spelled out the numbers "One-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero."

"Gaki, do those bars mean what I think they mean?" Naruto nodded with a grin before sliding one of them over for her to hide away with one of the bags on the table for the Team Expense Fund.

"Yeah, a mil Valis each. Bell has his seven all stashed away in his Guild account for _Hestia Familia_."

Ino's eyes snapped up to Naruto and she spoke to him for the first time since the morning, um, _incident._ "Um, Naruto, can I go with you guys tomorrow? You are going back down there, right?" He paused for a long moment as their eyes met before responding.

Shikamaru raised his head long enough to mention that she found a staff she wanted to buy and the extra Valis would get her a new shiny. He promptly thumped his head back to the wooden surface with a muttered "troublesome" bubbling out among the alcohol stains on the table top.

"Sure Ino. We're meeting at eight outside Babel Tower. You can come." She nodded her thanks then turned to catch Lyu's attention once the woman delivered a heaping plate of pasta covered in that delicious meat sauce along with a slab of fresh bread and ale for the human pit. Naruto stashed away his loot from the day and tore into his food sparing only a single confused glance to his female teammate.

Ino ordered the same meal, minus the ale, and seemed to cheer up just a bit.

~III~

Once inside the room upstairs later, the conversation became more serious.

"Think we can safely stash away in the church with them?" Naruto faced the pineapple-headed Genin and shook his head at first negatively before pausing and changing direction to say it might be doable.

"We could but it might draw attention to them. The church itself is a defensive nightmare. The entryway is shot, the heavy doors disintegrating due to a habitual lack of maintenance. About half of the pews are salvageable and the rest is just waiting to graduate into firewood. That place where the altar would be? Yeah, it is vacant and none of the rectories are safe enough to even bother getting to so no high ground inside for a sniper. Forget windows or even solid borders as the eastern wall is a few rainstorms short of collapsing."

"Where do they live?" Shikamaru had a pained look on his face to go along with his question.

"There is a secret door at ground level right under the rectory that leads down a flight of stairs to an underground apartment just big enough for the two of them. The only way it works is because there is nothing of value in the place above ground. If we stay there, we camp out upstairs."

Shika nodded as he took it all in. "What about your lookouts today? Any luck?" Here the blond grimaced.

"I sent out eight per the plan, one to each section of the city, with instructions to pulse their chakra once every hour. Most of them struck out but sectors three and four showed promise." Naruto was referring to the circular layout of the city, each section being divided out by a major road with sector one starting at the one o'clock position, just like the watch hands on the face of a timepiece, then proceeding clockwise in numerical order. Sectors three and four made up the southeast quadrant of town. Sector three held the cemetery and slums of the city. Sector four held the entertainment quarter.

"The two clones stationed there detected four, maybe five people trying suppress their chakra while searching for the beacon. The clone in sector three actually got a live chakra flare, like someone lost control, then there was a huge pulse of _Raiton_ chakra right after that and it hung around for a few seconds."

"That does not sound like our boy," Ino chimed in. "Wasn't he a civilian?"

Naruto nodded. "Yes, he was but it's not unheard of for him to latch on to shinobi to protect himself. I wouldn't have thought anything of it if the clone investigating the surge of chakra didn't pick up Koaru's scent in the vicinity of that same surge. Which makes me wonder who this nukenin with him is."

"I agree. Naruto, I want you to transition to phase two and focus on that sector. I want to learn everything about our lightning bug in the next two days and see if you can confirm Koaru's presence while you're at it." Naruto nodded then slid a cloth-wrapped package across the floor.

"Careful with that. Those are dipped in something nasty that locked up my clone's body as it popped to death." Shikamaru carefully unwrapped a handful of senbon before glancing up at the Genin looking for an answer.

"There must be a nukenin that uses an umbrella launching those in waves. I found those scattered throughout levels four through eight of the dungeon, one here, a couple there. There were a crap ton more holes than anything else. Looks like he's using them to clear low-level mobs to probably power up." Ino's eye's narrowed a bit.

"But no sign of him in the dungeon itself?" she asked. Naruto shook his head in the negative.

"We were all over the first ten levels and we saw lots of other adventurers, even a couple groups doing a pass parade while running for their lives, but no sign of this shinobi." Shika piped up out of curiosity.

"Pass Parade?" Their team lead watched the other male's face twist up in annoyance.

"Yeah, an overwhelmed group being chased by monsters runs past another group hoping to 'pass off' some of their pursuers onto the new group. Dangerous to an unsuspecting party, potentially lethal in reality, but an accepted practice here." Both of Naruto's teammates scowled. If the dungeon wasn't bad enough by itself, they had to watch out for douche adventurers as well.

"At any rate, I think whoever this is goes in late at night and uses the stairs away from the central tower to gain entry vice going in through the base. None of the healers stationed there remember Aono's face."

Shikamaru nodded. "Tomorrow night make some extra clones and station them around the tower. See if his behavior fits the profile." Naruto nodded once.

"In the meantime, let's hit the hay. It's going to be a long day for you next trip inside."

The team huddle broke up, the senseis moving over to conference for a few minutes by themselves. Naruto glanced one last time at his blond teammate before his turn in the bathroom came up. By the time he'd emerged, Ino was buried under her sheets with the back of her flowing hair splayed out across the pillow.

"Night, Ino," he whispered as he slid into his bedroll and closed his eyes. No reply ever came.

~III~

Naruto's eyes popped open a few hours later. His mind was racing and he'd never been able to fully sleep. Rolling from his side onto his back, one arm snaked its way behind his head to cradle it while he listened to the late night sounds of Orario.

Nearby Shikamaru's snoring bedroll to his left set a steady rhythm indicating he was deep asleep. Above his head he could hear Ino's soft breathing and a quick glance showed one pale leg slung over the side of the bed. As gently and as quietly as he could, he rose, stuffed her leg back under the covers, then tucked her back in for the night. He paused while she mumbled his name and something incoherent ending in "baka" before smiling and returning to his own bedroll.

He was wide awake and it was eating away at him. He was anxious as he glanced at the two empty beds in the room.

Settling back down, he reached into his backpack and found the jeweled egg, its gems sparkling dully in the half moon. Bell had called the critter a Jack Bird, some rare monster that to him looked like a fluffy rooster covered from crown to claw in puffy yellow feathers. Damned thing was fast though and he nearly missed it.

Thinking back on the day, he had more than enough now. In weight alone, he had more than enough money to start up the Uzumaki Clan again in Konoha even with the Valis he shared with the group. The bars weren't worth a million Ryu in Konoha but he could convert them to coins just before leaving and stash them all in a scroll. Hell, he could make all the scrolls he needed now and the coins he could sell by weight back home.

It was now or never. If he waited too long, he might get drawn into the ANBU for real and never get another chance. Shinobi didn't have the longest life expectancies. Hell, she'd told him that multiple times and he could hear her snarky laugh in his mind at that very moment.

 _'Gaki, there's good and then there's dead. Don't count on livin' forever in this business. Shit, it's been damn luck and stubbornness that's kept me going this long. Don't wait for the 'perfect moment' because you might not get to keep it. Find the one you love and grab on to them with all your strength. No shinobi is promised tomorrow.'_

Just then the door opened and a tipsy Anko came waltzing in with an equally tipsy Asuma. Sitting up on his bedroll with the egg sparkling in his hands made it pretty obvious even to them that he was still up.

"Hey!" He winced at the sound level of her whisper flinching slightly as Shikamaru's snores hitched, snorkeled, then resumed again. Anko and Asuma spent the next few minutes "shushing" each other until the bearded nin stumbled off into the bathroom.

"Morning Anko," he whispered softly. After managing to get off her sandals, she exaggerated her tip toeing and stumbled onto one end of his "bed."

"Morning Gaki. Whacha doin' up still?" Her eyebrows were knitted together in real concern.

"Couldn't sleep. Been thinking about what you said to me during my last year at the academy." She perked up a bit, wobbling in her haphazard sitting position.

"Hehe, thinkin' on my words a' whizzing, er, no that's not right. Words a' wisdom, yeah!" Her eyes grew comically large when Ino rolled over at her elevated voice. More "shushing" followed complete with waving hands.

"Yeah," he smiled back. "Something like that." Her hand playfully slapped his shoulder.

"So, tell me which pearl of wisdom izzat?" Okay, perhaps she was a bit more than tipsy.

"Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober enough to remember it." Her face immediately puckered up into a cute pout, her right index finger tapping repeatedly against her temple.

"Mind like a trap. C'mon, Gaki. Lay it on me."

Naruto paused and took a deep breath as he tried to steady his nerves. She wasn't going to leave him alone when she got like this. He remembered that much from many nights hauling her tail home from the Red Light District in Konoha.

"Okay then. To be honest, I'm going to be ecstatic when you don't remember a thing of this tomorrow." A sloppy raspberry was her only reply.

"You told me to find someone I loved and grab on to them. To protect them with everything I had and never let them go. Do you remember that?" Her face went from rapt attention to drunken concentration, her eyes staring up and off to the side with her mouth slightly open.

"Uuuuummmmmmmmm, yup! Sure do!" Her head bobbed in agreement a few times before her eyes found his again.

"I didn't want to believe you, that someone like me could be happy." Here she interrupted him apparently not too drunk to get irritated.

"What do you mean sum'un like you?" Her eyebrows were puckered together again this time in consternation. He merely placed a hand on his stomach and gently patted it and the lights came on for her. Understanding dawned on her face with an open "O" expression, big eyes to follow shortly thereafter.

She swatted his hand away and crawled over until her head was laying in his lap. Confused he could only watch as she smiled up at him and gently patted his cheek with one extremely warm hand.

"Don' worry Gaki. There's a pretty woman out there for you. You'll see." He only smiled down at her as his own hand rested on her cheek in return.

"Oh, I know. I've already found her." Her eyes, which previously slid closed at the warm feeling of his palm, snapped open as she stumbled up and out of his lap to face him. Apparently drunk Anko had no understanding of personal space as her nose ended up half a hand away from his own. Naruto's eyes involuntarily closed as the bourbon in her mouth and leaking from her pores hit his senses. He tried to turn away but her hand shot up and pulled him back to face her.

"Who? Who-who-who-who is it?" Trying not to gag on the fumes he just smiled at her. Too inebriated to get the hint, Anko's eyes moved to look over his shoulder at the sleeping Yamanaka and her eyebrows started waggling asking if she was right.

He gently shook his head no.

Nonplussed, she rocked back on her butt and struck a thinking pose, one finger to the side of her mouth. "Hestia?"

He gently shook his head no again.

"Eina?"

Once more, no.

"Oooh, this is a tough one." Her eyes locked on to his as if she was trying to solve a deep riddle. "You're too young for Kurenai."

He chuckled but shook his head no anyway.

"Who then?" She'd given up in frustration and leaned forward to pry the mystery out of him. Taking another breath, Naruto grabbed her face in both hands, leaned forward, then kissed her.

Right about that moment, Asuma came out of the bathroom, saw what was going on, blinked to clear his eyes, then turned right back around to re-enter the bathroom and closed the door again. He would be found there later that morning snoring quietly on the toilet.

Naruto's lips were warm and soft. It wasn't a toe-curling kiss. In fact, it was probably his first real one but it was hers and Anko initially melted into it. Her lips parted just enough to capture his lower one and a soft moan escaped from her mouth.

Things were good. For Naruto, nothing else in life was as perfect as this moment until it suddenly wasn't.

Anko's eyes shot open and her body shot backwards out of his loving grip, the back of her hand shooting up to cover her mouth. He could see her eyes since they were wide open. I guess you could say the curse of his great night vision, courtesy of being the demon container, showed him every line and contour caused by the irrational fear radiating from her body and showing on her face.

"What's wrong, Anko?" She was muttering one word to herself over and over again, the same thing as rapidly as she could.

The word was "no."

"Why not? Is it my age?" She didn't answer right away, her eyes locked onto him like he was a stranger. He was beginning to panic now.

"I'll be legally able to marry you when I turn sixteen in little over a year. I'll be fifteen not too long after we get back from this mission, in two months." He reached out to her but she flinched and moved away until her back thumped against one of the walls.

"I don't understand. We've joked about marriage for over a year and now I can finally afford to take care of you. I'm getting strong enough to stand by your side. I'll be there by the time I can reclaim my clan. I thought you loved me like I loved you. Was I wrong?" His eyes were beginning to shine around the edges as they flickered back and forth trying to read her face.

"Don't do this, Naruto." This time he flinched. She never called him Naruto unless it was serious. He was going to lose her and he could feel it.

Standing he lifted the egg in his hand and held it out to her. "I can make it so that you never have to work again. I can make it so that all we have to do is train to become strong enough to make him pay for what he did to you. I can do that for you now, take care of you like you took care of me. Why is my wanting to do that so wrong?" She was shaking her head in denial.

"Let me go, Naruto. Find someone your own age." She was sounding pretty sober now. Perhaps the shock had burned through the booze.

"Am-am I not good enough?"

Her panicked expression shot up from whatever far away land it had been in at that moment and met his pained look without blinking. Then her answer ripped his heart right out of his chest.

"No. You're not."

One minute he was standing there swaying as his world crumbled. The next minute he was gone and the blinds to the now open window were rattling in his passing, the jeweled egg coming to a rest on his now vacant sleeping bag.

After she was absolutely sure that he was gone, that she was positively sure she couldn't detect his now erratic chakra signature, did Anko fall over where she was sitting against the wall, curl into a fetal position, and ball her eyes out.

On the bed nearby, another woman gnashed her teeth and silently wept matching tears into her pillow for the teammate she felt deserved better than he got.

~III~

Morning came with a vengeance for the young kunoichi even without a night of drunken rowdiness and she was dreading her request to accompany the "boys" into the dungeon. At least Naruto had the decency to let her sleep a bit longer while he got ready to go.

He was unusually quiet, his eyes avoiding everyone else but she could see the bags underneath them. Ino was stunned given what she overheard last night. On more than one occasion she cast a searing stare at the older Kunoichi only to look away when Anko looked up at her in annoyance.

All too soon, she rolled out of bed keeping their interaction to a minimum of grunts and wordless acknowledgements. She'd let him think of her as a non-morning person, which wasn't all that far from the truth actually, and Ino would fall into her clothes before they headed downstairs to get a bite to eat.

Syr had been making a lunch for Bell to take during his trips to the dungeon and Naruto found merit in the idea so he ordered and paid for two more, so they would all have something to take. Ino had to hide her smile when she looked inside the small basket and saw fresh fruit, crusty bread and that soft cheese she favored. Damn him for paying attention to her interests!

Before too long, Bell would come hopping up, Naruto would down the dregs of his tea (it wasn't green tea and the taste made Naruto's mouth compress at the bitter flavor), leave a few Valis Crowns to cover their bill and then they were off at a stumbling roar. It was business as usual it seemed.

This would set their morning routine for the next two days and, by the time the threesome arrived at _Babel,_ Naruto would have already released eight clones to race off into the city and picked up his stride as the tea started to take effect.

He would then proceed to tear through the first ten levels of the dungeon as if it were a training exercise, much to Ino's amazement, his clones helping to funnel monsters to both Naruto and Bell while two or three stayed behind for rear guard and crystal duty. After figuring out their rhythm, Ino worked her way into the rotation and scored a few kills herself.

Then they'd reset for the night by going to the church and entering the basement apartment one at a time to have Hestia update their status. Simple routine, right?

Maybe.

Since they were looking for Koaru, they couldn't delve deeper into the dungeon. Evidence suggested that the nukenin helping him either didn't have the strength to go deeper or couldn't safely do so with him tagging along. That made sense to a degree as the monsters became much stronger beyond the tenth floor, according to Bell.

Plus, retreating groups being hounded by mobs of monsters became an increasingly familiar sight the closer they got to the eleventh floor. In fact, it was as they were wrapping up the tenth floor and turning around to return to the surface that they discovered Bell's deepest fear.

"That's the last of them, Naruto-san," the white-haired youth stood up with one hand to his back as he tried to stretch out the kinks. The orcs were harder to kill with his short knives but Naruto's blades were able to make fairly short work of them. Dropping the bulging sack of mana crystals into his backpack, his fifth one for the half-day, the crimson-eyed scrapper froze stiff and the bellowing wail they could just make out in the distance.

"AaarrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was getting closer in a hurry. Naruto and Ino closed in on his location, Ino's eyes still having trouble adjusting to the white mist on the tenth floor this being her first time down there.

"What the heck was that?" Naruto could hear the unease in her voice.

"Dunno actually. This is the first time I've heard anything like it." He dropped his crystals into his backpack then looped his arms through the straps, his eyes shooting over to Bell as he started to ask what could make that horrible sound. What he saw was a petrified teenager instead, eyes wide and arms hanging limply at his sides.

Ino waved a hand in front of his face as the bullhorn sounded again, this time much closer and considerably louder. Maybe there were several going at the same time?

"Well, he's a goner," she griped motioning to the nearly-catatonic Bell. Ino prepared to fight or flee, her right hand snaking to her thigh to grab a Kunai.

Naruto nodded in agreement. Bell would be useless in a fight as he was. He'd have to either stop whatever this was or be prepared to have a clone grab him up on the way out.

Then they felt the first tremors and Bell's face went completely pale.

Naruto took a few steps towards the sound, both hands on the handles of his blades. The ground was vibrating and he could distinctly here three or four raging bellows deep in the mist. He looked over his left shoulder at his teammate.

"I make out four heavy monsters headed this way." He closed his eyes, his head canted to one side as he strained to hear. "Five… no, six smaller creatures," his eyes scrunched up as he channeled chakra to his ears, "breathing hard, running this way." The bellowing was turning into grunting sounds and snarling. Whatever it was had hard feet or boots. It almost sounded like hooves.

"…taurs." Ino turned to the terrified Bell.

"What? Speak up, Bell-kun. What do you hear?" His face, unchanged from his ongoing fright, swung her way as he named his greatest fear once more.

"Minotaurs!"

A minute passed and a group of adventurers tore by them, eyes wide and breathing raspy. The ones running under their own power were bloodied, broken, and trying to keep up with two larger males carrying more badly broken members of their group. They ran past Ino and the world seemed to slow down as her eyes registered their fear, each and every one.

It was absolute. There was no thought of stopping to defend. Not one of them considered slowing to catch their ragged breath. She had no idea how the gasping rear guard even stayed on their feet. Her eyes swung up to meet her blond teammate while her stomach plummeted to the misty dungeon floor at her feet.

"Na-." She never finished her suggestion to run for it as the walls of the corridor from which that group fled exploded into a jagged shower of stone and smoke. She instinctively ducked, her arms coming up to shield her face as Ino whipped around to face the oncoming nightmare.

Bursting through into the large chamber came giant creatures from her worst nightmares. Powerfully built bodies covered in matted furs of browns and blacks roared their thirst for blood from bull-like muzzles, the wicked horns crowning their skulls large enough to skewer a person. Indeed, several of them appeared to have been engaging in just that activity. They stood almost twice Naruto's height, the hardened bodies obscenely stacked with human-like muscles. Beady eyes, mid-charge, broke from the backs of their fleeing prey and locked onto the blond standing his ground.

Ino's world shrunk to a point, her ears barely registering the panicked shout of, "I'm sorry!" rang out from the pass parade group tearing for the hills. Naruto glanced her way and smiled, the most tranquil grin on his face as his punch knives burst into wind chakra and his knees flexed.

Then he vanished and the blood flew as cow men just over three meters in height burst into gushing ichor and floundering limbs.

~III~

Tired of listening to Bete complain about the noticeable lack of monsters, Tiona spun around and whipped her apple core at the tattooed werewolf, which he promptly swatted away.

" _What was that for?!"_ he roared back into her smug face.

"Ugh, I can't even get you to shut up in a pretend fight." To be honest, he'd been whining since _Loki Familia's_ expedition entered the upper levels bound for the deep region. Talk circulating through the rumor mill eluded to an obscenely strong group raiding the upper levels picking the bones clean. That same talk recommended that lower levels looking to progress through the dungeon avoid the early morning and late afternoon if they ever hoped to score any graft.

Since _Loki Familia_ had been planning this expedition for weeks, they were a bit put-out to discover that the rumors flitting about the rumor mill were disturbingly true. Their trek through the first nine levels went without a hitch, bump, creak, squeak, or pop right up until a terrified group of half-dead lowbies went streaking past them screaming about Minotaurs gone wild.

Looking for a little action, Bete led the charge as the tightly-packed formation began to break up hoping to get a lucky drop; Minotaur horns were infused with metal from the walls of the dungeon and made for excellent weapon or armor stock. For a seasoned group of level fives and sixes, it was like Old Saint's Day where Guild representatives paraded around the tower tossing sweets to the crowded bazaar.

What they saw, what caused them each in turn to come to a complete stop with jaws flapping in open disbelief, was the sight of Bell standing off to the side (with two bored clones swatting the random Minotaur back into play when they wandered afoul of the playing field), and the two blonds from that annoying group slicing limbs from a squad of six full-grown Minotaurs.

~III~

Ino grunted as a club the size of her body whiffed over her head. "Whose bright idea was this again?" It only took one blow to realize that blocking a bone-crushing swing from one of these walking man-mountains was a bad idea. It didn't break her arm (after she reinforced her body with chakra) but the massive bruise along the entire left side of her arm would probably linger for days.

As the club swung back around to smash the ground she stood on, the blond tucked under and rolled between its legs. It wasn't a difficult feat really since the thing's crotch was literally level with her chin (disturbing thought). Coming up from her roll and planting her left foot to stop her momentum, she flipped the kunai into a reverse grip and spun like a top, the sharp tip tearing a jagged rip into the back of both knees belonging to the foul-smelling creature.

The now angry cow, er, bull roared in pain but didn't drop. _'Damn, solid muscle and hard to cut.'_ She crabbed around as the beast swung around hoping to clip her, Ino trying to keep her smaller body in its blind spot while looking for another window to strike.

"Aim for the joints, Ino!" She rotated back in the other direction and, as if waiting for her to glance his way, Naruto ducked the howling strike of one of his _three_ remaining bulls, his body dropping into a low stance before shifting sideways fast enough to make her think he used a _Body Flicker._ The Minotaur had just finished a similar overhand smash overextending his body, his right arm extended with a club wrecking solid stone, his left leg stepped forward to support his weight. Once the club struck the ground, Naruto shifted back just as quickly and a thunderous cracking sound echoed off the walls as he smashed his mailed fist into the side of the bull's extend leg, right at the knee joint. The bull folded like cheap laundry only to have its head lopped off by a wind-covered punch knife while it dropped to the earth.

Ino's face twisted up into a grimace knowing she couldn't match his power, her eyes moving back to her opponent only to balloon in surprise as the angry bull tried to gore her with its horns. "Oh, DIP!" she squeaked out before throwing her body to the floor, shoulders first, before kipping upwards with her feet allowing her momentum to pop her back to her feet in an impromptu somersault.

The hot breath on the back of her neck let her know just how close she'd come to being a Minotaur-kabob. Focusing on her opponent once again, she darted forward quick as a flash and started stabbing her kunai tip-first into whichever exposed joint or soft spot she could find, earning grunts of pain and frustration from her opponent.

Minotaur tried to backhand her, but she ducked underneath, popped up and stabbed it in the oblique.

It roared in response and tried to smash her with an overhead fist sending it crashing into the stone floor, she swayed gracefully out of the way and jammed her kunai into the soft joint of its elbow.

The enraged beast jerked the now weakened arm up and away retaliating with another swing from the club in its right hand only for Ino to dip underneath and jam the kunai directly into its arm pit.

Then she went to work on its extremities. Back of the hand, tendons and muscles in the right forearm, right bicep, cleft between right shoulder and pectoral, left hip, right foot by way of dodging another gore, right carotid then finally right under the chin when the creature's head reflexively tilted to the side as it dropped the club and tried to stem the bleeding from its neck with a useless left arm. Giving one last heaving push, she drove the blade through its chin up to the handle and into its overly large skull piercing its brain stem. With a gasping release, the brute crashed over and began decorating the floor with its lifeblood.

With her chest heavy, her lungs burning for air, an exhausted Ino looked up for her teammate to find him standing next to Bell with his arms folded and a shitty grin plastered all over his face. His cheeky "thumbs up" earned him a mocking chuckle but inside Ino was proud of herself.

She wasn't strong enough to fight off an entire squad of these fiends but could fend for herself well enough against one and that felt incredible.

"What! The! Hell!" All three of _Hestia Familia's_ adventurers looked up to see a stunned _Loki Familia_ group grumble off and head below to the next level without a word of greeting. Naruto merely chuckled then pushed out a few more clones to help gather crystals.

It was just another typical day in the meat grinder.

~III~

Minotaur hide and horns were valuable drops. Since the monsters turned to ash once their crystals were cut from their chests, drops were not necessarily a certainty. For each of them to get one was truly a lucky stroke.

Bell tried to refuse saying he was useless in the fight but Ino and Naruto both pressed the items into his hands and would hear nothing else on the matter. Naruto's terse, "Group effort" seemed to be the end of the argument and they left it at that.

Naruto, having done the majority of killing, was the only one to get two horns.

Night followed the same routine of food, bathing and debriefing once they finished updates with Hestia.

Of note was the fact that his clones finally located Koaru in the cemetery and Naruto was beyond pleased. Before too long this would all come to an end and they could go home.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: The Minds of Women and Other Fantastical Creatures**_

* * *

The great and powerful Kyuubi was lounging per usual on the floor of his overly-cramped cage, the standard swill of murky water pooling about his body as his tails lazily sloshed about. Today he didn't even seem overly perturbed about the one tail that faded to an albino white color up to a human's arm length away from his spine. He was being entertained, albeit indirectly, by the frustrated muttering of his jailer as the boy scrambled about setting up their weekly distraction.

At first, the great and powerful bijuu had been offended. It was bad enough to be entombed here in this pigsty of a mindspace, but to be forced to distract his tormentor? He was not a caretaker of small children! The very thought drove him to fits of rage and the first time the boy had tried to set up a game, the demon swiped an enormous paw, minus the talons, at the tiny meat sack in order to make him suffer properly for his insolence.

He hadn't planned to kill him, only make him wish that he were dead in order to prevent a repeat occurrence of this travesty. He didn't want to socialize. He didn't _need_ to socialize. He was the Kyuubi, scourge of the mortal realm. The boy's voice grated on his nerves and drove his ears to bleed. No, not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever, if Kyuubi had his way!

Unfortunately, he wasn't aware that any damage sustained by the child mirrored itself to Kyuubi's form. The blow that laid low the son of the Yondaime equally crushed the bijuu flat as if some giant mallet had revisited the same strike upon his furry carcass like a nasty karmic rash.

Kyuubi was forced to flood his youki to heal himself and, unknowingly, heal the boy through the same venue.

It still took hours of them both lying there glaring hatefully at each other as the bones re-knit painfully together, the ruptured organs reformed, and the lesions in their flesh sewed themselves shut to prevent either from bleeding out. It was a hard lesson learned and the Kyuubi kept his paws to himself after that.

He at least hoped the boy would keep to himself but noooooooooooo! He was back at it all too quickly.

In fact, he became more persistent than ever. Only now, instead of the great gaming event happening on Monday it now happened on Wednesday of every week before the boy retired for the night. It happened like clockwork, much to Kyuubi's eternal suffering.

Naruto would appear and stride calmly through the bars into Kyuubi's cell.

The boy would raise up a large, square platform with slender lines overlaying it in a cross-hatch pattern.

Finally, he'd raise up a taller platform to elevate his body high enough to let him see the whole board and then the game pieces would appear in a pile between the two opponents.

With the red-headed seal expert to play referee and settle rule disputes, the contestants were set to decide who got to make the first move.

Then the great shogi battle was on!

Hey, who was he to complain? It was something to do and they both sucked equally bad at it. If it weren't for the disguised Yondaime soul fragment, neither of them would have any idea how to play. The one bright side was that Naruto usually conjured snacks and drinks which usually kept the fox mollified until the end.

And tonight was Kobe beef night with warmed sake (for Kyuubi and Minato) and virgin daiquiris (for Naruto) was on the meal plan. At least the kid was getting better in his food choices.

Naruto generated a pair of clones to move the large game pieces for him, and an extra to yell out his move choices so the actionable clones could respond, one to toss out the piece in question and the field clone to lay it in the proper spot. It was allowed for the rules given that the board had to be big enough for Kyuubi to play yet small enough that a clone could handle the board pieces.

The first game had been miserable while they worked all this out. They didn't even have snacks then! That came about so Naruto could bribe him to keep playing but Kyuubi thought it worked out nicely. He was actually starting to look forward to game night but tonight was different.

Oh, the food was excellent, and the finger shrimps wrapped in melted cheese and a crunchy outer shell of pastry were great, but the boy clearly was distracted by _something_. His mind just wasn't' in the game like he normally was. By the shinigami's short hairs, he wasn't even jabbering non-stop about his week! It was almost… boring. _Gasp!_

He made a move that gave Kyuubi pause, the great fox blinking as even he saw the opening Naruto's foot soldier left in its wake.

He took the bishop behind it anyway then looked up at the sullen blond waiting for a reaction that never came. Nothing. Not even a blink or a raging twitch of the eyebrows.

" **What gives, maggot? You don't usually play this horribly. Tonight at least give me a challenge!"**

He saw the boy blink and his clones looked up to glare at him, one motioning with both hands to the field advantage he was blindly surrendering.

"Oh, sorry. I'll try to focus better. Knight forward." Clones scrambled to find the appropriate piece and fill in the hole. It was going to take several moves to dig out of this trouble.

" **Okay, not that I care, but I'll bite. What's ruining our game tonight?"** Kyuubi folded his arms and refused to move. It took a while for Naruto to catch on and, with a heavy sigh, catch on he finally did.

"Girls are hard." The great demon lord guffawed in response.

" **That's what has you distracted and pitiful?"** His outburst did nothing to alleviate the child's angst and, eventually his booming laughter died down as well.

" **Okay then, and again, not that I care but, what is so hard about vixens? Is your mate in heat?"** One soggy paw shot up to cradle Kyuubi's jaw with its almost human-like dexterity.

"No! No, I don't have a mate yet!" Kyuubi was beginning to care a lot less now. There wouldn't even be gratuitous sex involved. He was starting to like that skinny blond creature though. Right now, however, he just wanted to get through the game and on to dessert. He was particularly fond of shaved ice as it turned out.

" **Then what is it?"** Large nails were drumming on the stone floor vibrating the game pieces.

Groaning out like a petulant teenager, which he was, Naruto explained how he and Ino didn't really get along. He talked about how they bickered all the time but sometimes she could be really nice, and it confused him. Then he explained how he woke up earlier in the week with her sprawled out almost bare-ass naked atop him one morning and how she freaked out once she woke up and has barely said two sentences to him since then.

She was pretty, she was confusing, and, most of all, he didn't know how to act around her anymore. Half the time she acted like she hated his guts and the other half of the time she got jealous if anything with boobs got within three paces of him. It made absolutely no sense and he was sick of it all.

Kyuubi, for his part, listened to it all then began to chuckle. As Naruto's face began to scrunch up and swell with rage, he laughed even more. It got so bad, the large fox rolled over onto his back and began pounding the floor in his amusement before winding down ten minutes later to a whimpering snicker.

The board game had been utterly wrecked but Naruto had been playing like crap so no real loss there.

" **That's it?"** Naruto nodded dumbly feeling overly ashamed at his confusion over the fairer sex. **"Look, vixens are simple to deal with."** Naruto looked up skeptically but listened just the same. **"Find one you like, one with good haunches, pin her down once she snaps at you then dominate her!"** Kyuubi's eyes gleamed with something almost maniacal in them.

"Uh, I don't think-." Kyuubi continued as if his concerns were mere trifles.

" **Of course, you can, it's nature's law after all. No one can fault you."** Naruto nodded once (very minuscule in the range of his available motion) then pretended to study the board for his next move. He was pretty sure raping a girl was illegal. And bad, yes, very bad.

Feeling absolutely miserable with his non-advice advice, Naruto muttered out as he stared down his remaining board pieces.

"Shogi is easy; girls are hard," Naruto groused.

Kenshin responded with a soulful, "Amen."

~III~


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Our CRA Poll officially closes with Konoha kunoichi taking the top 5 spots. I guess folks want me to keep it within the larger Konoha family, so to speak. I will admit, Eina's last minute fall from grace was heartbreaking to see. The top 4 were clear victories, however, Yugao, Samui, and Temari ended in a dead heat. Decisions, decisions...

The top five were:

 **Tenten Higurashi**

 **Hinata Hyuuga**

 **Ino Yamanaka**

 **Anko Mitarashi**

 **Yugao Uzuki**

Now we'll just have to see how the romance and Council drama plays out, won't we?

 **Asif127:** The Orarian Twins were originally high on my list of possible, but it turns out Tione is deeply in love with Finn. That complicates much. I agree that there are hundreds of NaruHina pairings. I don't mind it, but I was looking, on a dare, for a different inspiration.

 **Zabzab:** No promises on the comma thing. I have a hate-hate relationship with them specifically.

Well, here's to wrapping up the Istoria Nukenin Arc and getting back to the familiar Konoha story line. Some things will change from canon, as to be expected in an AU fic. The greatest change you'll see is a greater span of time between graduation and the Chunin Exam Arc. I'm pushing it out six more months until January-February of Naruto's 15th year. After all, Konoha has a big festival, their only festival, to prepare for. Don't they?

As always, back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Note: Edited 27 JAN 2019 to include the results of the CRA Poll and sections left out during the Nukenin Arc in Istoria.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 12: What Lies in the Hearts of Men**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

 _Minotaur hide and horns were valuable drops. Since the monsters turned to ash once their crystals were cut from their chests, drops were not necessarily a certainty. For each of them to get one was truly a lucky stroke._

 _Bell tried to refuse saying he was useless in the fight but Ino and Naruto both pressed the items into his hands and would hear nothing else on the matter. Naruto's terse, "Group effort" seemed to be the end of the argument and they left it at that._

 _Naruto, having done the majority of killing, was the only one to get two horns._

 _Night followed the same routine of food, bathing and debriefing once they finished updates with Hestia._

 _Of note was the fact that his clones finally located Koaru in the cemetery and Naruto was beyond_ _pleased. Before too long this would all come to an end and they could go home._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Orario City: Second Floor Room of Team Ten,** _ **The Hostess of Fertility ~**_

"Okay," Shikamaru's lazy voice began overflowing with incredulity, "run that by me once more." Naruto's deep blue eyes closed as he gathered up his rapidly-scattering thoughts. They'd been talking for the last half hour and he was quickly losing interest in favor of his comfy sleeping bag.

"He's there. Koaru Aono is living inside, or underneath from the looks of it, the cemetery located inside Daedalus Borough." Over the last few days, Shikamaru worked with Eina to create a good-sized map of the city. Jabbing his finger at the rough area where the cemetery was, Naruto's jaw cracked open with a powerful yawn.

"Did you spot the nukenin helping him?" Shikamaru wasn't surprised by the indignant look his teammate shot him. To be honest, they were all tired and no one wanted to go "lights out" more than he did. A job was a job, however, and this one needed a bit more work before the team could power down. Naruto stated more than once that he felt Shikamaru's extending of their surveillance one more day tantamount to unnecessary paranoia.

Biting back the sarcastic tone he felt, Naruto cracked open his copy of the Bingo book and flipped it to a dog-eared page. Shikamaru's eyes glanced over a majority of the information to pluck out the needed gems to help him plan their attack.

Name: Aoi Rokushō

There were no bloodlines to note. Listed as a B-ranked threat, Aoi had been a Konoha nin originally before defecting to Amegakure rather than going to prison for theft. Within three years of becoming an Ame nin, despite having no noticeable skills or talents other than a knack with poisons, he'd obtained a Jounin's rank and became a two-time nukenin shortly thereafter.

What stunned Shikamaru was that neither village listed a single elemental affinity and only a single jutsu was described under his very small list of skills, _Senbon Shower_. His sole claim to fame stemmed from his theft of the _Raijin_ , Tobirama Senju's "Sword of the Thundergod."

Shikamaru hummed softly as he memorized the nukenin's face. "And you're absolutely sure you saw this guy walking with him to the dungeon?" He could see Naruto's tired nod in his peripheral vision and let it go.

"Okay, one more day of observation while I finalize our plan. Get inside the mausoleum and see if you can learn the layout. We'll make our move early the following day."

Naruto groaned out another yawn before reclaiming his Bingo book. Having mustered enough energy to stay awake long enough to seal it away, he flopped backwards onto his sleeping roll and began snoring softly almost immediately.

 _'Are you really okay, Naruto? How can you be so calm on the outside?'_ Ino's mind was still reeling from what she overheard a few nights ago. _'I would have been a worthless wreck.'_ She began to wonder how much practice he'd had at disguising his pain over the years to be able to continue on like nothing was wrong. True, he spoke to both senseis just enough to answer the odd question, and not a second more, but still.

Despite her concern, Ino and Shikamaru shared the same chuckle at his antics. Their teammate wasn't remotely worried about what was going to happen in the next twenty-four hours or, if he was, Naruto was damned good at hiding it.

"I don't know why you fight it so much." Delivering it around a yawning mouth and half-closed eyes, Shikamaru made _it_ seem like the easiest thing to discuss. Immediately Ino went on the defensive.

"Not my type, you know that Shika. Good guy that he is, there are just too many rough edges."

"I thought fixing guys was what women did?" The Nara's right eyebrow rose up at a questioning angle making his comment all the more obnoxious.

"Sometimes when it's worth the payoff." She glanced down at the soundly sleeping Uzumaki as if weighing the past deeds of his life and finding them lacking.

"You're saying that marrying the overly powerful sole survivor of a prominent and prestigious clan isn't worth the payoff?" That's right. She'd gotten so used to him that she'd conveniently forgotten that little detail.

Silence hung heavy in the air as lanterns got blown out and the Nara bundled up for the night.

~III~

The only discovery that changed the following day's proceedings was the addition of the red-haired Prum disguising herself as a dog-eared Chienthrope. Naruto wasn't fooled by the disguise no matter how much it reminded him of his shape-changing henge.

The girl's scent never changed.

Her height didn't change.

Her slender body dimensions didn't change and neither did her outfit from the day before, but it was apparently enough to convince Bell. Naruto shook his head in pity, and the white-haired teen took her on as their group supporter despite his concerns. Ino gave the naïve male a pitying look and asked him to reconsider all to no avail.

The four of them headed off into the dungeon for their final group run. Ino took a chance and asked her unusually quiet teammate if he was okay only to receive an uncomfortably long stare ending with a terse, "Yeah, I'm good." He didn't speak again until they emerged from the dungeon.

Eight hours later they trudged outside the monster pit to divide the spoils of war and after Lili, the supporter, wandered off for the night, Team Ten met one last time to discuss the plan. Tomorrow was to be their raid on the cemetery and Shikamaru wanted everyone prepared.

Naruto broke away after dinner without a word. Curious, Ino threw her share of the loot into her backpack and followed suit. She actually walked half a block behind him before he came to an abrupt halt and waited with his back to her while she stepped up alongside him. He turned to glare silently at her with his jaw clenched.

"What? I want to update my status also. Plus, I finally have enough to buy my sparkly. You never know. It might just come in handy tomorrow."

For several minutes, Naruto's deep blue lenses bored into her very soul creating a very uncomfortable silence. Was she willing to try and force her hand on him? Could she?

Without any sort of answer, his head snapped back to the front and he resumed walking.

Ino started breathing again and by the time they'd finished the first block she started talking again. At first it was light conversation, talking about how much she was going to miss Orario. Of course, not enough to want to stay but miss it she would all the same.

Nothing. Not a grunt. Not an eyeroll. He was like a blank slate. Then it hit her as she glanced up at his profile. It was an empty mask and he had no intention of removing it any time soon.

For some reason it made her heart hurt. She missed the semi-goofy person he was becoming around the team and she wanted that back as selfish as it sounded. It's not like he owed them anything.

Bell was leaving the church as they were entering. He must have been in a hurry somewhere because he waved cheerily and took off down the street back into the heart of town. Ino shrugged and went inside.

"You wanna go first-." She stopped mid-sentence when he thumped down onto one of the few remaining pews. With a frustrated hissing of air through her teeth, the angry kunoichi pushed on the secret door and disappeared into the basement mumbling the whole way about stubborn males not being happy with what they had.

This was met with an upturned eyebrow and a smile from the pig-tailed goddess Hestia.

"It's good to see you as well, Ino." The blond smiled and returned a short bow to the even shorter brunette.

"Sorry to trouble you, Hestia-sama, but do you have time for a quick update?" The self-proclaimed goddess of the hearth motioned to the empty bed and gathered what she needed.

"I assume Naruto is upstairs awaiting his turn?" Ino nodded even as she started peeling off garments, her mesh shirt and wrappings forming a neat pile next to the furniture. Hestia did not miss the heavy sigh of relief once the younger girl freed her swelling breasts from the now uncomfortable cloth holding them tight against her body. It was almost as if she needed to buy a bigger roll.

Taking a moment to tenderly massage the pain from them, Ino stretched out on the covers and closed her eyes while Hestia climbed onto her lower back.

"Can I get a copy of my status, Hestia-sama? We're probably going to complete our mission soon and I would like to know what's back there when we leave." Hestia's smile was a sad one but she nodded anyway.

A moment later and the familiar warmth from the goddess' ichor began to spread across her back. It was enveloping, almost soothing after a day crawling around the dungeon.

"Congratulations Ino. You're almost set to level. One good dose of excellia should do it for you." Ino shivered as the cold parchment slapped down on her soft skin. She was distracted enough that the nearly-dozing girl missed the wet tracks working their way down the goddess' cheeks.

Hestia peeled the sheet up and set it to the side as she quickly slid off of the younger girl's back and dried her eyes under the premise of washing her hands and face at the sink.

[Ino Yamanaka] Level 2

Belongs to: Hestia Familia

Home: Hidden Room Under the Church

Job: Adventurer Specialization: Healer

Deepest Exploration: Level 10

Weapon: Kunai, Senbon

Wealth: 750,000 Valis

Strength: G 302 Defense: C 710 Agility: B 807 Utility: S 917 Magic: S 950

[Healing Magic]

 **Fil Eldis** – A basic healing spell localized through the palms and applied by touch; minor healing capable of removing most surface damage, cuts and abrasions.

 **Luna Aldis** – An intermediate healing spell localized through the palms and applied by touch; capable of repairing most deep-tissue damage and can heal broken limbs once the bones are reset. Can restore lost bodily fluids and purge natural/ biological toxins through prolonged application. Not effective against most engineered or non-natural poisons.

 **Dia Panakeia** \- Healing magic which creates colored spheres of light that heal the target. Its effects are comparable to an elixir (capable of healing major and critical sources of damage through repeated applications but is very taxing on mana).

[Developmental Abilities]

 **Mage** – Mage improves the power of the caster's magic, widens the effect range, and makes mind usage more efficient. It also creates a jade colored magic circle under the caster's feet when they uses magic making stealth impossible under normal circumstances.

 **Abnormal Resistance:** Negates the effects of abnormalities such as poisons.

 **Spirit Healing:** Spirit Healing automatically begins regenerating the caster's mind after using magic to help reduce the occurrence of Mind Down. It is a rare ability.

[Skills]

 **Maiden's Wellspring** – This skill increases the body's efficiency and ability to absorb and process mana for internal consumption. Direct benefits include lower requirements for rest and recuperation by twenty percent. Beneficial side affects include higher than normal resistance to common illnesses or diseases, increased fertility, and natural physical development of musculature and biology.

Ino sat with her eyes locked on that last entry once her mind got through squealing over her increased abilities. Thoughts of having a large family with Sasuke immediately began running through her head and she couldn't wait to return to Konoha. Leaping up from the bed, she squealed again and hugged hestia tightly, her body making tiny hops with each happy warble.

As she tore out of the underground bedroom to send Naruto down for his update, she missed Hestia sadly shaking her head in disbelief.

"Poor child. She's so blind to what her heart really wants and what she really needs." She sighed heavily, her dress groaning at the added strain on its front. "May the _One_ clear her sight and grant her clarity."

Her face broke into a sad smile when the emotionless face of her favorite shinobi entered, closed the door, stripped from the waist up, then soundlessly laid out on the bed with his eyes closed.

 _'This will not do. Not at all.'_ Hestia took a couple steadying breaths as she convinced herself of her chosen course of action and strode towards her conquest for the day.

 **WARNING: Mature Content. Skip to the section starting with "WARNING ENDED"**

Upstairs Ino couldn't believe her luck. She'd gotten a rare magical ability and everything else seemed like it was tailor-made to support her role as a great healer. Another squeal bubbled up from her lips as she bounced excitedly around the destroyed house of worship.

Down below Hestia was wrapping up Naruto's update. She hadn't expected him to level yet. Even with his growth it was too soon but he was close. Looking at his stats all S-ranked or higher, it was only a matter of time. She hoped to see him again in the future but it appeared that they were out of time for now. She peeled the paper up from his back and set it to the side her eyes settling on the golden flesh of his back as his muscles twitched and writhed beneath the surface. Gently and deliberately her hands reached up to slide the straps of her almost-a-dress from her shoulders freeing her heavy mounds from their enclosure. With a soft sigh, the goddess leaned forward until her body lay flat on Naruto's back.

Ino had completed her tenth lap of the broken pews as her mind ran through her big clan wedding during iteration two-hundred forty-one, her favorite of the spring variety. The sakura blossoms were in full bloom and she was wearing the traditional all-white _shiromuku_. Her mind tried to envision her dashing Uchiha groom in his mon-tsuki but his face kept turning up with whisker marks and blond hair. She growled and shook her head to clear the image. Once she was sure everything was cleared out, she took another deep breath and mentally cued the wedding music and gently falling sakura petals...

Hestia fell back on the bed with a bounce, her large globes cycling from just below her chin to their normal resting position on her tiny frame. Only a second later a blond head found its way to her pale neck before kissing and licking his way down her clavicle and on towards the heaving valley of her bosom as her breath began to hitch and quiver through parted lips.

Upstairs, Ino had given up for the fifth time with another angry shriek. She couldn't get Naruto out of her perfect wedding ceremony and it was annoying her to no end. She felt terrible for what he went through with Anko but, come on! That was no reason to ruin her day of bliss. _'What's taking him so long anyway?'_ With a firm step, she strode back through the secret passage and down the stairs to the closed apartment door. It was generally bad form to view another person's update but it should be over by now. Her barging in on a simple conversation shouldn't be that big a deal.

Maybe Hestia was helping him with his Anko problems and she could join in?

"... _ruto!_ "

She froze. _'That sounded like Hestia.'_ Then another moan hit her and her face pinked. _'They couldn't be...'_ Being the busybody gossip of Konoha, Ino cautiously crept forward and gently pushed the heavy wooden door forward. Thankfully it didn't squeak which would have been beyond embarrassing. _'So what if he's getting a bit of action. Poor guy deserves a break from a life of shit.'_ At least that's what she told herself. Seeing it actually happen was harder to take than she thought.

Ino's eys grew as she spied Hestia flat on her back, her dress crumpled up on the floor along with her panties and Naruto's clothes. Her hands were clenched up in the boy's blond hair and her thighs were clamped tight to the side of his head. She couldn't see what he was doing but the rhythmic rolling around of his head and the wet slurping sounds made her face blush a heated shade of red and her thighs clamp together like a vice.

Her eyes shot over to Hestia's face and she saw the woman's whole body seize up, her annoyingly large breasts pushed together as she continued to thrust her hips up at Naruto's working mouth. She was clearly enjoying what was happening. She was clearly enjoying Naruto's _enthusiastic_ work ethic and Ino felt a heated rush of rage.

Her mouth gaped open as the truth dawned on her in that dark entryway. She was jealous and now she was trying to deny it.

As she stood there listening to the woman's disgustingly happy moans, watching with green-eyed loathing as her body twitched and gyrated in pleasure, she was jealous that those weren't her legs trying to pull his tongue as far into her body as possible.

 _'That's stupid! I love Sasuke, don't I?'_ Her eyes told a different story as the petite goddess clenched, gnashed her teeth together, started panting and convulsing, then released a moan that stretched out over thirty seconds easily. As the woman fell limp on the bed and Naruto rose to his feet, she could see the red welts along Hestia's breasts where his mouth had paid special attention. Unbidden, her own hand found its way to an already erect nipple smothered in cloth, mesh and fibers.

Then her breath caught as Hestia sat up and reached for his belt. Her mind was telling her to run away, to not look. That greedy stare from the smaller woman told her exactly what was about to happen but her feet were rooted to the spot. Why couldn't she move away?

She heard the metallic jangle of his belt coming undone followed by the slow draw of his zipper. Hestia gave one gentle tug on his trousers, his hips swaying with the pull before she grabbed the waistline of his boxers and tugged downwards in one sharp motion.

What flopped out and nearly concussed the woman made Ino goggle and sputter. She must have forgotten about Naruto's ears because his head deliberately swung in her direction and she caught his leering stare as Hestia reached up and firmly grasped him in both hands, one in front of the other.

 **WARNING ENDED: Resume Normal Content**

Suddenly her feet were free and she was up the stairs like a shot. The only thing running through her mind was that Sasuke was bigger. Sasuke had to be bigger. _Please_ Kami, let Sasuke be _bigger_!

A very red-face Ino later asked a very calm Naruto if they could stop by a vendor to pick up her healing focus on their way back to the inn. He shrugged and asked her to lead the way.

~III~

Dawn came to find Team Ten a hundred yards from the entrance of a large family shrine made of silver-grey marble. Naruto sent a fresh batch of clones out twenty minutes before and the "reinforcements" had cemented their positions around the sides and back of the stone edifice. Everything appeared to be set.

"Naruto," Shikamaru whispered over, "are you sure their god will be-." He never got to finish the question as the front door opened to reveal a powerfully built man wearing the ancient garb of some foreign country.

Everything he wore was silver from the delicate-looking sandals that strapped themselves half-way up his calves to the crown-like band keeping his shoulder length hair from his face. He sported what appeared to be a silver skirt that parted widely in the front, a single flap of wide cloth hanging from his belt to cover his modesty. Around his neck draped a circular band of necklaces and golden bracers covered his forearms, all of which did little to cover the powerful muscles adorning his frame.

He looked, walked, and carried himself like one of power and authority. He exuded royalty even as he paused for a few seconds to address his polar opposite, the one Naruto had called "Seti" in his brief the night before. The only way to describe the right-hand man of the foreign god was in Naruto's words the previous night saying, "he's like a walking shadow."

Wrapped from head to toe in black coth, the only thing to detract from his single-colored existence were a pair of shining grey eyes, two pinpoints of light in a colorless blob of flesh.

Then the two calmly walked away, the glittering lead nodding politely to the crouched trio as they passed on into the city.

Ino and Shikamaru both blinked in disbelief. Naruto decided to share his clone's discovery from the night before.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – The Night Before_

 _The Naruto clone was beginning to get bored. There wasn't much to henge into so hiding had to come the old-fashioned way and crouching down behind a tombstone or on top of the few family crypts in this part of the cemetery got really old after six hours._

 _Tugging his face mask upwards until it was over his nose again, he froze as a noise behind him alerted the lookout to his relief's arrival. One quick glance over his shoulder confirmed this and he lazily settled back in from his crypt-top perch to observe the front entrance to their target location. Pointing to the door that hadn't moved all day, he opened his mouth to spit out his boring report only to pause as the heavy door creaked open to reveal all four of its inhabitants._

 _Aoi and Koaru strode off into the city without a moment's pause but the foppish deity and his leech stood on the stoop while the muscular figure reached into a bag to toss bird seed to the ground. In a fit of inspiration, the original watch henged into one of the many birds flocking to gobble up their dinner then joined in on the feast._

" _It's a shame that he didn't work out, Seti." The shadowy figure just behind him nodded, his wispy voice mumbling out a faint, "Of course, master." Odd how his eyes never left the clone transformed into an orange-feathered finch._

" _I will miss his ability to bring us badly needed Valis but I'll not jeopardize our Familia for a brigand, or worse." The clone hopped about pecking at seed grimacing at the sharp husks and bland favor._

' _Oi!' he chirped out angrily when a slightly bigger bird shoved him over from a patch of promising kernels. Flapping his wings angrily, he pecked the foul bully until it backed off, his oddly fish-bowled vision noticing the god's chuckling interest in him. 'Probably should tone it down a bit.'_

 _He pecked at a particularly itchy feather._

 _'Okay, more than just a bit.'_

" _Are our preparations to retire to the city villa complete?" he asked over his shoulder. His staring at the clone was starting to get creepy._

" _Of course, master." The sunspot bowed once and was still again._

" _Very well then. We will depart tomorrow morning after their return. I want to be far away when the Guild comes for our thieving associate and his mousy partner in crime." And with that, the two turned and strode back into the crypt without another word._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – The Night Before – Kai!_

Naruto's hand came up out of habit to give a parting wave to the duo's backs before Ino slapped his hand out of the air. Muttering out a quick "gomen," he looked to their team lead as Shika started counting backwards from fifty.

At twenty-five, Naruto henged into a muscular shinobi with long black hair tied into a sweeping ponytail and eyes like coal. A black mask covered the lower half of his face up to the bridge of his nose, which sloped to a hawk-like sharpness. His upper body was covered in a sleeveless battle kimono that ended at his upper thighs and was secured at the waist by a black belt of cloth from which hung his pouches. Underneath the kimono was a tight battlemesh shirt circling his neck and covering his upper arms. Black bindings started at his knuckles and wound their way to his elbows matching the long trousers of the same dark material. Glancing down to his feet Ino saw more bindings around his calves covering his matching tabi.

All of the clones matched him in silent shimmers.

With a holster on both thighs and his punch knives at his lower back, he looked like a ninja from really old movies. The problem for Ino was that he looked like a really _hot_ old-school ninja. _'Damn! He looks good as a brunette!'_ The fact that the transformation was completely unnecessary seemed totally irrelevant at the moment. He had mentioned earlier to Shika about working in some new disguises for later use and the Nara had waved it off so long as it didn't interfere.

When five new copies burst into view beside him, she nearly passed out from lightheadedness. It was a good thing Shikamaru was there to slap her on the back of the head and jar her out of her hormonal daze. Yeah, good ole Shikamaru.

Time to focus.

Signaling a count down from five, Naruto and the rest of the front assault line dashed off without a sound crossing the open field to crack open the mausoleum's entryway. It was a good thing his clones had spent the last half hour clearing what few traps Aoi remembered to set up.

By the time his teammates reached the crypt interior, four of the normal clones had quietly lifted the heavy lid of a stone sarcophagus to reveal a lit stairway leading underground. Once the reinforced team padded silently into the lower level, the blondes replaced the lid then sat on it with a smirk, the remaining lookouts posting up outside to wait the storm.

~III~

The entry hall opened into a circular room with little gilding or glamour, but it had been carved out with future grooming in mind. The ceilings were at least twice Asuma's height and three separate passages in the smoothly-carved chamber led off deeper into the complex. Without pausing, Naruto generated four more clones that immediately henged to match his appearance before placing themselves in opposing corners, their hands flying through seals as they backed up to the stone walls in-between exits.

[ _Meisai Gakure no Jutsu!]_ they hissed out in unison, their bodies washing out in color until they matched the stone walls behind them.

Naruto didn't even wait for them to get settled sending two clones down the hallway to the right before bounding off at a silent trot down the left hallway, Shikamaru and Ino hot on his tail. He silently thanked his godfather for those earth jutsu scrolls as his eyes adjusted to the dim torchlight. Up ahead the hallway cut a sharp right into a wider passageway with doors on both sides.

As one, the entire team moved down the hallway, Naruto to left, Shika two steps behind and hugging the right wall, Ino two paces behind that and hugging the left wall behind Naruto and so on. Their point held up a fist and dropped to a crouch, the rest doing the same. Flicking two fingers up in to the air, he turned those two fingers on his right hand to the specific door right behind Shikamaru's back. Two of his clones, joined by Anko, broke off and positioned themselves on either side of it with one holding up a scroll. When she nodded that they were set, the rest moved on to the door at the farthest end of the hall and set up with two clones on either side of the door in a similar fashion.

Naruto nodded at the clone on the far side of the door, which promptly sunk into the ground without seals or chants. Asuma's eyebrows rose at the silent execution but had to push it aside as the door silently opened with a soft click.

The clone inside crabbed to the left allowing room for the second clone to pad softly inside and take up position to the right of the door. Naruto waited until Shika ducked inside and he heard _[Kagemane no Jutsu!]_ Success! A half heartbeat later he rushed in with a fist hauled back to club the Ame Jounin insensate only to stagger to a stuttering stop arm's length from the bed.

Sprawled out on the posh bed overhung with pale-seafoam green drapes over its canopy was an unconscious and snoring Aoi Rokushō. He hadn't even stirred when Shikamaru trapped him in his family jutsu.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru hissed out, "Get on with it! I can't hold this all day even if he is asleep!" Grunting out a disappointed acknowledgement, Naruto walked forward without trying to muffle his steps and rudely slapped a now open scroll across the Jounin's forehead.

Aoi had just enough time to sleepily open his eyes and mumble out a startled, "Whuzzat?!" before he felt himself being sucked into a deep dark hole.

Naruto calmly rolled up the storage seal and stuck it in his thigh holster. "That was largely unsatisfying." Shikamaru chuckled and patted his friend on the back condescendingly.

"A successful capture is one no one hears about, Naruto. Be grateful we didn't have to fight and that no one got hurt." The blond Genin nodded knowing his friend was right but glanced at the bed one last time in disgust. He wanted to test his strength out against the nukenin, even one supposedly as weak as Rokushō. It was that parting glance that caught the golden hilt of _Raidin_ just beneath the large forest green pillows at the head of the bed.

"Hey, Shikamaru. Check this out." Naruto reached over and tossed the pillow into the face of his buddy before scooping up the bladeless hilt snuggled up next to a crumpled pouch half-filled with Valis Crowns, the largest of Orario's currency.

"Isn't there a bounty for the safe return of this thing to the Senju clan?" he wondered aloud even as one of the clones grabbed the nukenin's favored umbrella for storage.

Shikamaru's eyes ballooned. "Yeah, something like twenty mil, I think." Naruto's whistle caught Asuma's attention as he ducked into the room.

"Looks like Koaru is getting shackled up nicely as we speak." Down the hall, the first squad had taken him without much effort, the memories of one of the clones coming back to him as the second one took custody of the slightly-bruised prisoner. "What's the fuss in here?"

Naruto simply turned to face his instructor and held up the shiny object in his hand. "Oh, nothing sensei. I'm just deciding how to split up our bounty for this baby five ways."

Asuma grinned from ear to ear. He loved his team.

~III~

The rest of the day was spent talking.

Naruto paid their first official visit to _Hestia Familia_ hoping to catch Bell before he rushed off for the dungeon. They'd spoken about him not being available, but he wanted to say his goodbyes alone and his teammates were more than happy to let him do so once the adrenaline from their assault wore off.

Then Ino's _Gossip Senses_ started tingling…

Ino returned about a half hour before Naruto did and promptly ordered the strongest tankard of Ale the _Hostess_ served her face already glowing like a fresh tomato. Once Naruto joined them shortly thereafter and, with a knowing smirk at the still blushing platinum blond, the rest of the morning was to be spent in meetings at Guild Headquarters but he needed to make something clear first.

Leaning over her shoulder making the red-faced girl jump slightly, he whispered in her ear, "That's twice now Ino. You know you don't have to sneak if you want something from me." He'd already moved on before she could respond, her ale long forgotten. This was not the Naruto she knew. Turning to face a perplexed Anko, she shot her a glare that clearly said _'This is your fault. You broke him.'_

Anko shot back a look that clearly stated, _'I don't care. Not my problem anymore.'_

Breakfast ended and they meandered as a group to their meeting with _Set Familia_ and the Guild.

Set was _very_ apologetic claiming no knowledge of Aoi's duplicitous past. Despite knowing better, Team Ten kept quiet and out of _Familia_ affairs earning a gentle nod of approval from the Egyptian Host as he departed. With only a mild warning that he should better screen his new members, he left with little more than a minor fine and a gentle slap on the wrist.

They were leaving by caravan back to Melen the next morning, Asuma having refused another escort citing they were more trouble than they were worth. With the rest of the day off to do as they pleased, the Genin broke up and parted ways to get in a last day of souvenir shopping and agreed to meet up for dinner.

~III~

Naruto must have wandered for hours until he found the right gift. Paying the twenty thousand Valis, he pocketed the slender case and left the shop content knowing that his own personal errands for the day were finally over.

He'd converted the Guild trade bars to hard coins and gems earlier in the afternoon storing them in an advanced seal attached to his gauntlet. _Goibniu Familia_ had completed his new shin guards in the matte black he wanted complete with mana storing gemstones and those were currently in a scroll buried in his thigh holster. He'd add the seals to them later. Right now he had somewhere to be.

Walking through the Guild Headquarters entryway for a second time that day, Naruto leaned off to the side and watched the polite Eina Tulle cycle through several customers, her gentle grin never wavering. A few times she paused and stared off into space, her chest heaving before releasing a pensive sigh, which her friend Misha immediately teased her for.

From his spot near the door, Naruto could hear her nervous denial and his name uttered more than once by Misha. He figured enough was enough and pushed off the wall to go stand in line.

It took another half hour behind a large dwarf before he got anywhere close and he quietly gnashed his teeth while he listened to the large man flirt desperately with the gentle beauty. He glanced over his shoulder as the front doors were closed and barred for the night knowing that it would be time to leave soon. Anyone left inside would be let out through a small side door to prevent new customers so he turned to stare at the very wide shoulders of the man in front of him until the broken giant turned and stepped away.

Eina hadn't noticed him yet. Her emerald green pools were feeling bad for the despondent warrior she had to deny for the umpteenth time. That all changed once he stepped forward and distracted her.

"Excuse me but I would like some advice." Eina's head snapped around to look up into his deep blue eyes and a blush began to spread out through her cheeks and neck.

"Um, certainly Sir. How-how can I be of assistance?" He stepped forward and gently placed his hands on her counter with his fingers interlaced.

"Well, I have this friend that am greatly attached to and I'd like to know if there is an Orarian way to ask them to dinner, perhaps at the Golden Vineyard. I hear it's a local favorite among the well-heeled." The teen blushed a healthy shade of red as her hands reached out to lay gently on top of his own.

"I would start by asking her if she was free and would like to share a meal or glass of wine. That's the sort of thing I'm fond of anyway." He smiled and her heart melted.

"Come share a quiet meal with me. Let me ease your tension of the day and bask in your beauty. I would like my final hours in Orario to be remembered with joy and happiness of memories spent in your company." He was laying it on thick and he knew it. Hell, he wouldn't have had that much to say if Naruko hadn't made him watch all those chick flicks, as she called them, whenever she won a training challenge.

Inside his mind the bubbly blond pumped her fist in success.

At the moment, he was grateful for every one of them as he watched her sway dangerously behind the counter. Two seconds later, Misha was throwing up the "Closed" sign at Eina's work position and pushing her from behind the counter yelling, "Have fun you two!" as she rushed the two of them out the door.

Naruto pointedly ignored the jealous stares at his back.

They walked quietly to her apartment, the slightly older Guild rep taking him inside while she went upstairs to freshen up. Naruto _henged_ changing his common articles into a formal kimono from his apartment. He thought being forced to bring one on a mission an idiotic idea but the thought of using one as a false identity to get into formal functions made some sense and now it gave him the perfect attire for the evening.

What greeted him as he smoothed out the wrinkles was a stunning beauty in a flowing pastel orange gown and cream-colored short cloak that matched his dark blue clothing.

"Amazing." His whispered though it reached her ears and the blush returned. Raising his left elbow, she took it and the two stepped out into the mild night.

Dinner passed calmly, sedately. Naruto wouldn't have been able to tell you what he ate as focused as he was on the beautiful woman at his side. She laughed often, blushed more than not, and they held hands lightly to the displeasure of the many jealous stares in the upscale restaurant. He couldn't identify the strange peace he felt he just knew that being with her felt - right.

"Please close your eyes for me, Eina-chan." She perked up and blinked in surprise.

"Oh?" He nodded trying to fight back a smile and she suddenly sat up straight with her pretty eyes shut tight and a nervous smile on her face. He did his best not to stare at the way it pushed her chest out straining the fabric of her dress.

Quietly he rose from his chair and pulled out the slim case opening it to reveal a delicate platinum necklace with a dainty setting shaped like a wide "V" holding a pinky-sized sapphire nestled at its very center. Spreading out along the v-setting the stones gradually decreased in size but alternated between diamonds and more sapphires.

Her hand came up to hold the pendant to her chest as she gasped in surprise, her eyes flying open to see the expensive gift.

"Naruto-san," she was having a hard time stringing together words.

"I think we are beyond such formal titles, aren't we?" Her eyes came up filled with tears as she tried not to shed them and ruin her makeup.

"The sapphires represent my good fortune in finding someone like you. You bring indescribable joy to my life and I am going to be a broken man until I am in your company again. The diamonds represent the truth of my feelings for you and the perfection you bring to my life, the missing peace of serenity I have been looking for but have been unable to find." There were many sighs of mushy happiness throughout the nearest tables as the green-eyed Eina could no longer hold back her tears. There were also repeated sounds of men being slapped across the shoulders and hands by jealous wives and dates.

When Naruto escorted Eina home, the poor woman was floating with her head in the clouds and a sad pain in her heart.

~III~

It was a very somber Naruto that joined them in the morning having not returned the night before, a scented letter disappearing into his jacket pocket as he entered the Inn.

As the coach rolled through the gates of Orario with its Konohan passengers, the blond Jinchuuriki took the sole position on the floor and stared off into space refusing any and all attempts at conversation from his teammates.

~III~

Two and a half days later found them sailing peacefully back to hidden harbor of Sutirū-ōtā. Anko stepped out onto the deck after lunch to find two of her Genin staring up at the crow's nest with sour looks on their faces.

"Still moping up there?" They both nodded silently.

"Has he eaten anything today?" Both of them shook their heads negatively.

With a heavy sigh, the spiky-headed woman [ _Body Flickered_ ] to the yardarm clearing her throat in a pointed fashion at a quiet _Blinkers_. The normally soft-spoken crewman had a hand up pointing out tips to his blond friend whittling away at a thin cylinder of wood.

The scrawny sailor paused to look over at his nest mate and waited for the Genin to nod his head once before shimmying back down to the deck. It didn't surprise Anko even if it did annoy her. Folks that took the time to get to know him ended up being very loyal and often protective. They crew noticed his subdued behavior and had been giving him space to deal with whatever was " _weighing on his mind_ ," as _Cookie_ had put it. Anko, for the most part, had seen enough of his self-destructive behavior.

"You gonna mope your life away now, Gaki?" The surly Genin cut his eyes at her before looking to glance back out at the water. With _Blinkers_ gone, someone had to maintain the watch.

"Stop ignoring me!" She thumped his head hard enough to knock it sideways but not hard enough to unseat him from the high perch.

No answer.

"This is not the way to win my affections, Gaki! We already covered stuff like this the other day." She was getting annoyed, but he was being a petulant child, something that was getting easier to remember with this kind of behavior.

"Are we done?" he asked never taking his eyes off the horizon. " _Blinkers_ and I have the watch and he really should be up here, or he'll get in trouble with the Cap'n." Anko drew in a long-suffering lungful of air through her teeth and reached out to snatch him up by the scruff…

' _Damnit! He's not wearing a shirt again!"_ She adjusted mid-lunge and grabbed a handful of golden hair making his eyes squint closed with the pain, his mouth wide open showing clenched fangs.

She had just reprimanded herself for thinking he had a beautiful set of teeth to go with a gorgeous smile, or grimace, whichever you prefer. Then the entire world spun out from under their feet as the sound of rushing water, quickly followed by a torrent of salt water, swept them up onto a rocky shoreline.

Down below Ino, Shikamaru, _Blinkers_ , and _Cookie_ (who had brought up a snack for the crow's nest watch team, mirrored each other when they saw the spiraling torrent of water suck the arguing couple into it. Then it popped like a bubble leaving an empty nest and a gentle spray of salty water. _Blinkers_ took off up the mast like an arrow.

"Nothing up here! They're gone!" A second later everyone heard the Captain yell for the ship to come dead in the water. Then the frantic search began, the crew looking inside while the shinobi searched the coastline.

A little over ten miles away on the rocky shoreline of southern Kaze no Kuni, Anko sputtered and hacked as she frantically tried to force the liquid out of her lungs. Blinking the salt from her eyes, the now soaked woman braced as another wave pounded against her before receding. _'Naruto!'_

"Naruto!" her voice nearly raw with the effort. She took a staggering step down the rocky shoreline and kept yelling his name.

Groggy and panicked at the same time, her eyes raked the rocks looking for any sign of blond only to find more rocks. A frantic pivot out into the pounding surf showed only more foamy water plus the _Mermaid_ luffing in the wind farther out. Her fear began to ratchet up another point or five. Then she heard a rumbling growl behind her and the ever-alert ANBU took over. Snatching a kunai from a hidden pocket, she whirled around to come face to face, er, face to muzzle with the largest lizard she'd ever seen, its bellowing roar blowing the water from her face and her hair straight out behind her.

Out on the _Mermaid, Cookie_ shot up ramrod tall and whispered out one word in utter reverence, " _Umihebi_." Asuma looked at him like he'd grown two heads then started trying to get the greybeard to expound a bit more with little success.

Back on the beach, Anko was frantically trying to figure out what it was she was facing so she could decide whether or not to run for her life.

It was an unusual creature. The head was lizard-like, almost Draconian, the nose blunting over gracefully like a beak. Unfortunately, the mouth full of razor-sharp teeth as long as her hand was enough to convince her that this creature, whatever it was, ate meat. So much for hoping it was a vegetarian.

The large head had fins just behind the jaw and a ridge-like a sail starting as nubs near its ridged brow and growing to gently curving sails down its extra-long neck and back. From the front, it towered almost twice her height, its serpentine neck merging with powerful shoulders and beast-like arms tipped with talons long enough to match her kunai. Its body was more lionesque than reptilian, its powerful haunches also ending in another set of wicked blades before a sleek and powerful tail (topped with the same sailed ridges) ended with a large fan-shaped set of spikes. When the spiky spines forming the sail of its tail extended into nasty looking spines, Anko couldn't help but mutter a curse. She almost expected to see wings and have to start dodging flames from the beast's mouth.

It didn't matter that the creature's scaly hide was a gorgeous pearl color with sea shell pink highlights. It didn't matter that its large eyes were the same translucent sea green that you find in a clear lagoon. It was large, angry and most definitely dangerous. Plus, it was also the reason why she couldn't just walk away from it.

' _Must be a summons but where is the master?'_

Whatever it was, the creature was almost three times the size of any horse and crouching atop her prone Genin, his hands clamped firmly over the back of his neck as he writhed in pain.

"Damnit, kami must really hate me this week," she muttered.

~III~

Naruto groaned. It felt like someone had ripped his head from his shoulders starting right where that damnable seal on his neck was. He felt nauseous and swore his entire tenketsu network was aflame. His ears could hear the ocean still even though he was laying on something hard, probably rocks. He could also hear someone gently calling his name, someone familiar. Then something massive growled and it sounded like it was coming from everywhere at the same time.

Naruto struggled to open his eyes and came face to face with black stone. Sea water splashed up against the rocks and forced him to blink his sight clear for just a second. He was under a shade of some sort, something large like a covered alcove maybe and he needed to pull himself together. Where was he? If he knew that he could figure out how to get away from his kidnappers and back to the _Mermaid_.

Then something roared and nearly ruptured his eardrums as every bone in his body vibrated painfully.

Fear took over and his adrenal glands started pumping for all they were worth. Sapphire eyes rocketed open and he came face to face with overlapping plates the color of pearls with a pinkish tinge around the creases. _'Ugh, why can't I escape that color?'_ Even with Naruko yelling in his mind to stop, he did something incredibly stupid.

He reached up and stroked the plates closest to his face and the entire wall of hardened leather shivered then shrieked, one massive claw tipped with daggers on the end raised up off the ground almost directly above his head.

"Oh, dip," he muttered.

~III~

Anko wanted to kill him but his actions stopped the creature's raging and it focused on him for a change. When the claw came up, she swore it was over and prepared to dash in now that it was distracted but the mood drastically changed forcing her to wait.

The fins that were waving agitatedly along the beast's head and back slapped tight along its body. Its mouth closed with a snap as it backed up just enough to lower its muzzle down to his face. Its whole body flushed and rippled, the smooth pearl tint to its scales flashing almost seashell pink before returning to its normal color.

' _Did that thing just,'_ her thoughts paused while her mind re-booted, _'blush?'_

The not-quite-a-dragon backed up until it could lower its bulk to the rocky ground without crushing him before nuzzling Naruto almost protectively. When Anko tried to get closer, its eyes snapped up, those fins behind its jaw started waggling angrily again, and it let out a rumbling sound like boulders tearing down a hillside. Anko's foot stopped right where it came down on the wet rock and her palms came up defensively.

"Naruto," she called out watching both of them very closely, "Naruto, I need you to come over here to me." The lost summons did not appreciate her comment and its head snapped up completely from Naruto's prone body to fixate on her.

She frowned when the boy didn't move.

"Look, we can talk about our," she flinched when the creature growled once again forcing her to back off a bit, "situation later but we need to get back to the ship and her crew." The summons whined and pressed the rounded end of its muzzle into Naruto's right palm. A golden flash met his skin and his hand jerked away like it had been burned. Naruto looked into the palm apparently surprised.

Right then another beast emerged from the surf, this one far larger than the one hovering protectively over her Gaki and Anko swore like a sailor without rum. She didn't think she could take one in a fight even with her snakes and now there was a second. Glancing back and forth, she saw this new one, a nice dark blue shade, roar in their direction and the pearl-colored one shrink back almost in fear. With one last nudge to the prone Genin, it rose to its clawed feet, shifted sideways to clear the human child's body, then slammed down to the earth before sliding along like a snake on its scaled underbelly head-first into the surf.

"Well slap my ass and call me Candy," she mumbled out. Making sure whatever it was had indeed vanished beneath the waves, she strode over to the sitting Genin and began roughly checking him for injuries, while he promptly began swatting her hands away. It earned him a painful smash on the noggin for his troubles.

"I don't care how prissy of a mood you're in, you'll obey my commands until I'm no longer assigned over you. Do you understand, Genin?!" Naruto rubbed his skull and glared hateful up at the woman standing over him.

"Since when has that ever changed?" he shot back. She gaped and nearly struck him again for good measure.

"When?! What do you call all that disobedient attitude before up in the crow's nest?!" By now she was moving beyond angry to _kill-him-dead-livid_.

"You never officially ordered me to do anything. You just kept asking me questions." Naruto stated it all calmly despite the nasty sneer on his face. His eyes were filled with pain, his mask completely gone for the time being.

"I told you to stop ignoring me. Last time I checked that was a fu-, damned order!" The Genin stood up to face her directly.

"Trying to get me to talk about my feelings does not fall under the standard protocols for a leader-subordinate working relationship. You cannot legally force me to talk about my feelings." She knew he had a point.

"Fine." It was almost a curse. _'Damnable stubborn and pig-headed this one.'_ She turned around to see the _Mermaid_ bobbing peacefully out in deeper water. "Can you water walk yet?"

"No, haven't had time to master it." She grumbled a bit more and crouched down with her hands out beside her curvy hips.

"C'mon then. It's too far for me to _shunshin_ all the way back." He stood there for a few minutes looking at her back, long enough for her to glance over her shoulder. "Well?"

With a sigh, he shuffled forward and leaned against her, his arms locked around her neck as she grabbed his legs and stood effortlessly.

"You grab anything you shouldn't, and I'll make you swim the rest of the way." It was only fair to warn him.

"Yeah, yeah."

Taking a few steps at the shoreline, Anko modified her chakra output to compensate for his extra weight and took off across the choppy water like a dolphin.

She expected him to get a chub or something. Instead, he was so detached that she was almost disappointed. They were about half way to the ship he wasn't even trying to look down her coat front with his head turned to the side as if he was watching the water for something. Hoping that those large lizards were in fact gone, she [ _Body Flickered_ ] the moment she felt she was in range and never looked back.

~III~

"What have you done?!" Poseidus was furious, the fins and spines along his body literally humming with rage. Opal was once again atop her platform beneath her mother, her muzzle turned away hoping he would not notice her flushed color.

' _He-he touched me! He accepted my gift!'_ Her mind was racing, and she found it hard to listen to her father's words at the moment. _'His hands were so soft."_ She squeaked out a tiny squeal, her fair scales rippling through a brighter shade of scarlet then back to their normal hue. Her mother sighed hopelessly seeing that her daughter clearly had been affected by the encounter and was now a lost cause.

The massive boss summons, the only one sporting two wicked horns raked backwards from his massive brow, whipped his head to face his son. "Tell me what happened."

It was not a request and Titus, having just settled back onto his own perch, raised his head to answer his sire.

"We were watching the wooden toy sail past with Magnus and Regnus, most of us trying to stay deep below the surface as it crawled by. But then we heard it." Magnus did not try to hide the fanged grin creeping its way onto his own muzzle.

"It was serene, almost like a choir," the older heir was in a daze as his eyes focused out past the walls of their cavern not far from Ryuchi Cave. "It… called to me, started pulling me to the surface." By now, the remaining dozen or more of the _Umihebi_ had begun to gather. Many had heard tales, mostly those spread by Magnus, of the _Walker's_ return so, when Opal had been dragged back under protest after reportedly having engaged the _Walker_ itself, they were all understandably curious.

"Then the music changed, an angry mournful sound that pulled all of us to their world and we saw this female creature attacking him." His muzzle swung to his pouting sibling. "That's when Opal _tunneled_ to the shore and drew him to her."

Marianus hissed in shock while Poseidus wheeled on her and vented more of his rage.

"You would _defy_ me?!" He nearly stepped down fully from his platform his long neck sweeping his snapping jaws low and across his mighty body to face her. "What if it had been a ruse? A trap to lure us out to resume the hunts?!" Many of the survivors winced at that knowing that there were worse fates for females of their species if captured alive and restrained. There were ways to do so.

Opalessa was not deterred and her muzzle lifted up to squarely face down her father. "He accepted the _gift._ "

Her words were softly spoken but the entire assembly heard them. For all his might, the mighty Poseidus sputtered and floundered as he tried to refute them to no avail. _The Gift_ was a mental link only receivable by the royal line of Senju, the last bearer being the mighty Tobirama himself. If that was true…

His muzzle swept down again to his daughter, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "You will take full responsibility for your actions, child." He waited until she nodded back fiercely. "Pray that your impetuousness has not doomed us all to extinction."

Without another word, Poseidus settled fully onto his platform and closed his eyes signaling the end of the audience. Opal quietly cheered her victory, small as it was, as the excited whispers of her clan vibrated in the audience chamber she'd spent most of her existence sequestered in.

Magnus, on the other hand, roared her victory to the heavens and whatever corner of their territory that would listen. He may have even roared in a few that did not.

~III~

Other than climbing back up to the nest to retrieve the flute _Blinkers_ was teaching him to carve, Naruto spent the majority of the day in odd places trying to keep away from everyone. Once Anko described what they saw (which immediately produced awed whispers from the crew), many of the sailors started stepping lightly around Naruto. Several bowed to him as they walked by making some odd symbol in the air by waving their hands like paint brushes. Having had enough of the superstition, Anko snapped on old _Cookie_ and forced him to explain what in the nine-hundred layers of the Abyss was going on.

Not taking his eyes from a sullen Naruto resting up near the front of the boat next to the crow's nest resident, the two carving away silently, he spun a short tale.

"The Uzumaki are known throughout the seafarin' trade, more so 'un the Umino Clan what give us the powerful strong Dolphins. While the Umino were masters of their trade, the Uzumaki were true masters of the sea. Tweren't a ship afloat what didn't sail with 'em." His accent grew atrocious the less he focused on speaking "normalese" to tell his tall tales.

"I've sailed with muh share, from the flaming locks 'o thuh main family to the golden crowns uh them thar Senju branchers. Both 'em powerful strong on the seas, powerful strong." He paused to take a deep pull from his pipe not even noticing that the embers had burned out long ago.

"Them Senju though, they sang to the _Umihebi_. They could call 'em to help fight off pirates an' brigands. They could call 'em to calm the seas or grant safe passage with good winds. Kami help ya if yer barnacle brained enough to cross them Senju what wuz linked to the powerful serpents 'o the waves."

"Sea serpents?" Shikamaru spit out in disbelief. They all heard the freakishly loud roaring coming from the shore. Heck, it stopped all motion topside and even drew up the crew sleeping from below. You could not miss it (*take a listen to the roars from Godzilla 2000; the almost aquatic nature goes well with water-dwelling sea serpents… sonar?).

The old cook returned his pipe to his clamped teeth and spoke not another word for the rest of the night. Later he brought dinner up to the decks so that Naruto could eat and sat down with the two wood carvers. Most of the crew would pass by and lay a hand on his shoulder and nod sagely before moving on while his team stared on befuddled at the day's events.

Anko was lost in thought. _'Uzumaki, check. Father? Dunno but he's the spittin' image of the Yondaime. There's nothing in his freakin' history to suggest ties to the Senju! Hell, the last one I know of is Tsunade and she's never had kids that anyone could prove.'_ She was jostled from those thoughts by a familiar baritone that sounded like the owner gargled with rock salt.

"It's fer good luck," the ship captain grumbled out behind them startling the two Genin. Then he proceeded to walk up and do the same by ruffling Naruto's golden mop, his gruff voice carrying across the quiet deck as he thanked the blond for sailing with them and "warding off the evil afloat in the dark waters." More than once through the day he'd asked the boy flat out if he'd give up the shinobi life to crew with them, an offer Naruto politely and respectfully declined each time.

Anko couldn't wait to get back to Konoha and away from the weird water. Port couldn't come soon enough tomorrow. She'd had enough of the sea to last her a good while.

~III~

"I refuse!"

Speaking of Iruka Umino, he was gaping like a dying fish at the petulant face of one Sasuke Uchiha. The boy was flat-out refusing to do another D-ranked mission. His bold proclamation started with, "If Naruto and his merry band of losers were good enough to get a multi-week-long C-ranked, then he, the elite of the Uchiha Clan, should be doing B-ranks or better." Then it ended with, "The Council thinks I can do better."

"Of all the hubris," Iruka barked out before turning from the stack of scrolls in the "D-Rank" box in his lap. He bolted upright with the box clutched tightly in his white-knuckled grip.

"You will learn your place, Genin!" The jealous Uchiha folded his arms and scowled, his mighty duck hair jiggling minutely with ten pounds of product gluing it firmly into place.

The Jounin's frown towards his pampered soldier and his horrible behavior got cut off by the Hokage's voice.

"Kakashi, can you think of a valid reason why your team would not be ready for a C-Ranked mission?" The elite shinobi looked upon his team like a general surveying the battlefield and carefully weighed his options. Not wanting to deal with a wailing Council, he opted to pitch them a bone.

"It depends on the mission, Hokage-sama. Bandit camp elimination is currently out of their reach but a timid escort or missive delivery to some dignitary should be doable."

Iruka started to object but the Hokage held out his hand asking for the Nami escort mission. Clicking his desk intercom, Hiruzen asked someone to show in their visitor.

The door opened to show a slightly silvered man wobbling his way into the room. One hand gripped an end of the towel draped around his shoulders as it swabbed his face. The other clutched a sake bottle protectively to his chest.

"Team Seven, meet your client Tazuna Aono of Nami no Kuni." Something clicked in the back of Sakura's brain when she heard the name Aono but the moment passed.

"That's not a princess," Choji mumbled out between a mouth packed with chips.

"And you're not a skinny knight in shining armor," the old drunk slurred back. Choji's eyes narrowed dangerously at the implication.

"Team," the Hokage interjected, "your mission will be to escort Tazuna-san back to Nami and then guard him until his bridge is completed." The spectacled drunk squared his shoulders swaying slightly with the sudden rush of blood from his head.

"I-I'm aaaaaaaaaaan important (buuuuuuurp) man in Nami. You better protect me with your lives!"

Sasuke responded by dropping into a crouch and whipping a kunai across the room. There was a soft "chink" followed immediately by the kunai burying itself in to the wood paneling directly behind the tipsy architect.

Then his bottle cracked. He had just enough time to look up from the damaged porcelain before it shattered in his grip and soaked his sandaled feet in rice wine.

"I think you've had enough to drink, old man," hissed out the brooding Genin. For once, Kakashi agreed with him. _'What could go wrong with this mission?'_ an eye-smiling Kakashi joked to himself.

~III~

Saying goodbye to the crew of the _Blue Mermaid_ was a traumatic moment. _Cookie_ actually shed tears and many of the crew embraced Naruto like a long-lost relative.

In the end, Team Ten left the secret port happy to be home again in the forests of their homeland. At long last, the mission that never ends was nearing its finish. Ino and Shikamaru spent the road trip staring at the back of their point man, Naruto Uzumaki, who resolutely stared at the path ahead.

Hey, at least he wasn't sulking anymore. He'd spent the last twelve hours since sunrise staring at his right hand, his palm specifically after gaining a coiled dragon tattoo.

' _Damn, have to remember it's not a dragon but damn that thing was huge. Kinda cool how it slid like a cobra into the water though.'_ Anko was much happier to have distance between her and a ginormous sea serpent but had to admit they were gorgeous when they weren't snarling at you.

Her mind was trying to piece through the past twenty-four hours of excitement and how she could get the withdrawn blond to open back up to her. Him being quiet just wasn't natural.

Said blond was ignoring his team because he was trying to find a way to get to Nami and find his clan's ancestral home. Opal told him that he could find his way back to her through there. Well, to be honest, she'd shared a lot more than that through their new link and he was suddenly very excited about a clan he hadn't thought a whole lot about since getting that journal from his mom.

On top of that, his dream last night seemed so real.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Sea Serpent Dream Sequence_

 _Naruto stretched as hard as he could, his yawn echoing out across the strange cavern he found himself in. Even though it was dark, the pale blue light coming from swirl-shaped seals along the wall provided enough light for normal people to see just fine let alone someone with his much sharper nightvision. Blinking a few times to clear the grogginess, he scanned the room to get his bearings._

 _First of all, Naruto was standing in a pool, at least the shallow edge of one. He could see much deeper water in a much larger pool not ten meters from the kiddie pool where he lingered. His smaller pool was off to the side and farther from the back of the room, so it was difficult to accurately judge distance in the dim light. Besides, this place was enormous._

 _Glancing up he could see dimly glowing crystals on the ceiling that had to be fifty meters or more away. That's when he saw them._

 _There were ledges, a dozen or more half-circle shaped alcoves spread out all over the wall. Many were empty but a good number had odd shaped stones clustered on them. Each stone pulsed softly with a pale light of some color or another, a sky blue here, a dark purple there. There were even a few of the egg-like shapes pulsing with a soft whitish light that reminded him of Opal._

 _Turning his eyes over the rest of the cave, his orbs lit on four massive platforms stacked together right behind him, two fairly high up and set side by side. Just below and to the side of those two were another pair of ledges, all four currently empty._

 _He inhaled and the smell washed over him. Leather, salt water, water lilies, and a hint of fishy aroma all mixed together. Opal! There were many other smells, but he could make her out somewhere just to his left. Maybe it was one of the four nearest to him. Yeah, that had to be it._

" _What do you think?" Naruto spun around in the pool, the water sloshing about as he turned to face the sweet alto posing the question. The first thought that hit him was that she was stunning. Forget Eina. Forget Hinata. Anko? Anko who?_

 _Her skin literally glowed so pale and perfect as it was. Slender shoulders, graceful limbs filled with lean muscle. Her long hair flowed and swayed behind her hips, a pale off-white curtain that matched her skin except for the faint pink highlights throughout her silky strands. Her heart-shaped face drew his stare to her pouty lips, petite nose and sea-green eyes. They were quickly becoming his favorite color._

 _The next thought that hit him was that she was only wearing what Eina had called a "shendyt," that short skirt thing that Set guy wore back in Orario. Eina shared with him some of the Egyptian culture the god supposedly came from but there weren't records of any such colony in all of the elemental kingdoms._

 _It didn't matter because, unlike the common examples the poor and slaves of that imaginary culture wore, the one sinfully hugging the hips and thighs of this woman shone a glistening white of the finest silk, the edges trimmed in the thickest gold. That told him that she was royalty of some sort if he remembered Eina's lessons correctly._

 _That's where her clothing ended. His eyes shamelessly raked her body from the tops of her dainty feet, along her shapely and strong legs, past her tiny waist, flat stomach, and very generous chest (he might have lingered on the seashell-pink buds for a moment or two), before settling his sapphire orbs firmly onto her creamy green ones._

 _She was blushing by this time at his scrutiny and his face flushed a bright red with embarrassment. He was ashamed for two reasons._

 _Of course, the first was because he'd shamelessly ogled her body and found her extremely attractive. It was a natural response for a healthy male facing a nearly naked woman of incredible beauty. Did he mention how gorgeous she was?_

 _The second was because he found her desirable and his lower body responded accordingly, which she noticed when her eyes darted below his waist and the young girl demurely bit her lower lip._

 _Wait a minute. The only way that she could know he was attracted to her that way was if he was…_

 _Both hands flew to his crotch and she giggled at his embarrassment. As he tried to inconspicuously sink his hips below the thigh-high pool surface, she slowly walked into the shallows from the other side, her hips swaying in a way that should be neither humanly possible nor legal in polite company. His jaw promptly fell open._

 _She glided through the water until she was close enough to drape one arm over his shoulder and across his back. Her eyes closed and her lips parted as she sighed with decadent pleasure once her chest made contact with his, her legs straddling his as he knelt in the pool. Kami he could feel the thing grasped between his hands trying to explode and it was starting to hurt a bit._

 _Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that her skin was chilly to the touch but that thought fled once she pressed harder against him, her lips hovering near his jaw as she pressed her cheek against his face._

" _So warm," she murmured, her other arm joining the first across his still-widening shoulders. Every motion rubbed her chest against his body as their skin contact tried to wipe his mind clean._

" _Remember this place, U~ōkā. Come to me. Call to me and I shall be yours for all time." Then she kissed him, hands planted to his cheeks and chest still pressed against his body._

 _There was a flash of light and Naruto sat up in his bedroll gasping for air. It took almost an hour before he could calm down enough to go back to sleep and he awoke the next morning disappointed not to find the mysterious girl waiting for him once he did._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Sea Serpent Dream Sequence – Kai!_

The cry of a falcon high above them not only brought Naruto out of his revelry it brought him to an abrupt stop in the branches high above the ground. Asuma called down the messenger bird and pulled the tiny scroll from its leg before reading through it twice then passing it to Anko with a sigh.

"Change of plans gang. Naruto, hang an immediate right and make best speed for Kōraru Mura." Anko hissed and cursed. Loudly.

"Troublesome," joined the chorus of malcontent.

Kamakura was, in the "public" eye, the only harbor town in Hi no Kuni. Loaded with tons of fishing vessels and transport ships, it was perfect for rapid transport to and from the Land of Fire. Too bad it was too far away to be useful for their immediate needs.

Instead of Kamakura, Tazuna had been leading Team Seven to the sleepy fishing village just across from Nami no Kuni's main island. According to the message Asuma received, Team Ten would have to make a bee line for Kōraru Mura so they could meet up with Sasuke's squad and support them in Nami.

Naruto was originally so not-pleased to hear this news wanting nothing more than to go home and be done with people for a while. Trying to get a grip on his volatile temper, he schooled his emotions and stilled his face. He had a lot to sort through and he couldn't do that with constant distractions. Then his mind perused its stores of Hi no Kuni geography and what lay near both Coral Village and Nami.

Nami, before the destruction of his clan, was part of Uzushiogakure.

' _Come to me.'_ The voice was like a whisper on the wind and his face went blank so quickly that Ino was wondering if he'd had a stroke or just plain snapped.

Without a single objection, the blond Genin changed course and leaped from his perch towards the eastern coast of Hi no Kuni.

It was the fact that he didn't argue that worried the senior shinobi, one wondering why he'd shut them all out for the last three days and the other afraid that she already knew the answer.

~III~

* * *

 _ **[Jutsu Used in This Chapter]**_

* * *

 **[A-Rank] Doton: Meisai Gakure no Jutsu (Earth Release: Camouflage Concealment Technique):** Meisai Gakure no Jutsu is an advanced Ninjutsu technique developed by Rock ninja. After forming the needed handseals, the ninja can grant themselves near invisibility. So far only the Sharingan eye and its revelation abilities has been shown to pierce the veil and see the hidden ninja. It is unknown if the Byakugan can penetrate the jutsu and see the user's chakra circulatory system.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Dochuu Eigyo (Earth Release: Underground Fish Projection):** Doton Dochuu Eigyo is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. Using the Oboro Bunshin, the Rain Genin use the clones to confuse their enemies and then hide within the earth. From the shadows of the clones, the actual ninja can then attack their target. It can also be combined with similar techniques like the _[Double Decapitation Jutsu]._  
Note: Allows ninja to hide underground

 **[C-Rank] Kagemane no Jutsu (The Art of Me-and-My-Shadow):** Kagemane no Jutsu, literally "Shadow Imitation Technique" is a short to mid-range (0-10m) technique made famous among the Nara clan of Konohagakure no Sato. The user's shadow is extended to the opponent's shadow, combining them. This puts the attacker in control of the target's movements- the target is forced to make any movement the user makes. It is an extremely versatile technique. Given enough talent, the shadow can contracted or have its shape changed. It can even get ahold of several targets at once. The shadow can also be connected with the shadows of other objects to extend its range. Shikamaru can only hold the jutsu for about 5 minutes.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Cuts Like A Knife**_

"Clack."

Anko's eyes scrunched up as she tried to block out the irritating sound.

"Clack, clack, click-clack."

 _'Ugh. Too early for this shit!'_

Kicking her legs and flailing her arms like an angry four-year old, Anko bolted upright grunting under her breath. Trying not to swear loud enough to wake up the other four inhabitants… her eyes caught the ruffled bedroll minus the blond mop of hair sticking loosely out of the northern end.

Suddenly the open window made sense.

Going back to slip on her trench, she reached out with her senses and detected the jinchuuriki's enormous chakra pool right above her head. Taking a deep breath, she slipped outside via the ledge then walked up the wall until she was crouched a dozen steps away from her sitting Genin.

"Trouble sleeping?" she queried. His eyes swiveled over to her for a moment before returning to the slowly increasing lights of the city.

A heavy sigh followed her unceremonious flop to the roof's tiles. As her elbows found their way onto her knees, her light brown peepers started counting the number of lights bursting on behind shuttered windows. It was almost as if a thousand eyes were opening to greet the dawn one sleepy pair at a time.

"How long are you going to hold this against me?" The blond sighed.

"There's nothing to hold against you. I poured out my heart. You set fire to the mess. That's within your right." His voice sounded so hollow in her ears. A quick glance over showed that blank mask he once wore prior to joining Team Ten was back.

"Don't force this." While her tone was dire, she knew she was losing her spot. This was always a risk when people got too close. She wanted, no, needed to reign things back to a comfortable distance.

"I'm not forcing anything. Sounds like you need to let it go."

She snarled inside. He wouldn't even meet her eyes. "I'm bad news in more ways than one and you know it, gaki."

"What has that got to do with the price of tea in the Land of Tea?" This time she huffed out in irritation.

"Not going down this road again."

He turned to face her full on. "Why are you even here? I came up here to get away from you all!"

Anko's mouth opened for a moment then closed almost immediately. Why was she even there? _'Hey, sorry I crapped all over half your dream but there's always a bright side! Besides, you're young so I know you'll snap right back in no time!'_

"You're better off finding someone closer to your own age. You'll thank me for this later."

"Keep telling yourself that. Whatever helps you sleep at night." With that he turned back to the wakening city.

Hell, she wasn't good at this motivational crap and could tell a sinking ship when she smelled one. Ghosting to her bare feet, she applied chakra to her hands and swung over the ledge and back into their crowded room.

' _He's a big boy. He'll figure something out without me.'_

~III~


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Some of you may be wondering why Naruto's behavior regressed last chapter especially since the events responsible for that change weren't spelled out specifically. Those things that happened in the darkness were brought to light. Two of them were hinted at but you'll just have to be patient if you want the full details.

Also, with regards to the last chapter, a guest reviewer made a very astute observation. Naruto has not revealed that he was the son of the Yondaime; he did reveal to his team who his mother was (indirectly). Sorry, that's a different story. So, I made the necessary correction to Chapter 12. (Good catch there.)

 **Guest #1:** The Senju are a branch family of the Uzumaki and the summons clan is tied to both in this fanfic. I will be going more into the relationship of the _Ubihemi_ and the clans in the next few chapters as we sort out the relationship between the sea serpents and the _Gama_.

 **Zabzab:** Chapters 11 and 12 have been rewritten to fill in some of the missing blanks to help explain why Naruto has withdrawn from his team a bit. Remember the fic summary about his precious people disappearing from his life? Looks like our hero is wilding out a bit. Of course, that could never bite him in the ass, nooooooo.

 **Jh831:** Yes, Naruto graduates the academy at age 14 in my fanfic. Yes, it's intentional. No, I don't think clients are going to be traumatized by the one kid two years older than the others on his team. Additionally, Naruto hung up his pranking gear several years before he graduated so him pranking the village isn't an issue. Not to mention that his desire to become ANBU took over his desire to become Hokage when Hiruzen tried to "scare him straight out of a life of pranking." All of this is in the fanfic in the first few chapters. This is not a canon fanfic, it's just going to be following major events in the timeline. Whether or not he runs off to train with Jiraiya remains to be seen.

 **Guest #2:** Yes, Ino found a shiny but it wasn't the staff she originally thought. It makes its debut this chapter.

 **Guest #3:** Opal, or Opalessa as she is known among the Ubihemi, is a Celestial-class summons with a special relationship with her chosen summoner. I will have a rather large section on her this chapter so no spoilers.

 **Guest #4:** I added the poll winners at the beginning of Chapter 11 as part of the chapter rewrite. If you have not read the special Anko addition shedding some light on their strained relationship, then I highly recommend doing so.

 **Guest #5:** Opalessa is a Celestial-ranked summons from the _Ubihemi_ Clan. Don't let her incredibly sexy human form fool you; she is a 35m-long sea serpent. The bond she's referring to is a chakra-based one that will tie her to her summoner until one of them passes on, most likely Naruto since the _Ubihemi_ tend to live for several thousand years. She will be a standard in his life, not a wife in the harem.

(*) Confucius provided the reference for the quote borrowed by the Yondaime.

Onward and upward they say. We find our intrepid adventurers trying to return to a normal semblance of daily life. I sure hope Tora takes the week off…

As always, back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 13: A Bridge Too Far**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More ~**_

 _The cry of a falcon high above them not only brought Naruto out of his revelry it brought him to an abrupt stop in the branches high above the ground. Asuma called down the messenger bird and pulled the tiny scroll from its leg before reading through it twice then passing it to Anko with a sigh._

 _"Change of plans gang. Naruto, hang an immediate right and make best speed for Kōraru Mura." Anko hissed and cursed. Loudly._

 _"Troublesome," joined the chorus of malcontent._

 _Kamakura was, in the "public" eye, the only harbor town in Hi no Kuni. Loaded with tons of fishing vessels and transport ships, it was perfect for rapid transport to and from the Land of Fire. Too bad it was too far away to be useful for their immediate needs._

 _Instead of Kamakura, Tazuna had been leading Team Seven to the sleepy fishing village just across from Nami no Kuni's main island. According to the message Asuma received, Team Ten would have to make a bee line for Kōraru Mura so they could meet up with Sasuke's squad and support them in Nami._

 _Naruto was originally so not-pleased to hear this news wanting nothing more than to go home and be done with people for a while. Trying to get a grip on his volatile temper, he schooled his emotions and stilled his face. He had a lot to sort through and he couldn't do that with constant distractions. Then his mind perused its stores of Hi no Kuni geography and what lay near both Coral Village and Nami._

 _Nami, before the destruction of his clan, was part of Uzushiogakure._

 _'_ _Come to me.'_ _The voice was like a whisper on the wind and his face went blank so quickly that Ino was wondering if he'd had a stroke or just plain snapped._

 _Without a single objection, the blond Genin changed course and leaped from his perch towards the eastern coast of Hi no Kuni._

 _It was the fact that he didn't argue that worried the senior shinobi, one wondering why he'd shut them all out for the last three days and the other afraid that she already knew the answer._

~III~

* * *

 _ **~ Eastern Road to Coral Village ~**_

Team Seven mustered for gear check at Konoha's eastern gate with faces aglow. The first real adventure was about to begin and Sasuke could not have been more excited.

He was finally going to prove himself and get an accurate measure of his progress. At the end of this, he would be one step closer to his first goal.

Kakashi strolled up lazily with the customer in-tow, his nose buried deep inside his favorite orange distraction. Without looking up from his "erotic literature," he barked out a terse "Gear Check!" then stood off to one side while his Genin began rifling through their belongings.

"Sakura, fewer clothes and more shuriken next time." The pinkette's indignation rose to the surface as she glanced frantically towards her crush. After all, how could she look perfect for him with all that messy metal taking up space in her back pack? It was heavy and she had to take fewer items to compensate for the weight.

"Choji, nice pack out but," his one eyebrow rose in confusion, "are you sure you brought enough food for the entire two-week mission load like I asked?" Choji beamed his trademark grin as he stuffed storage scroll after storage scroll back into his pack.

"Don't worry, Sensei. This is just to get me to Nami. I'll buy more once we get there." The young man had such an easy-going personality Kakashi didn't have the heart to challenge his eating habits at the moment. The Akimichi had a system that worked for them but Kakashi always thought it could be improved upon. Instead he moved on to the last of the three.

His eye scrutinized the very military-esque layout of Sasuke's gear. Shuriken were arranged in neat rows of ten. Kunai were lined up in alternating positions five to a row and five rows deep. Three spools of wire with a refill spool started the second row of auxiliary gear. Two bags of caltrops and a pristine set of climbing spikes for slippery surfaces and a host of other necessities capped off two spare changes of clothing and his rations. All in all, a very functional pack out until he got to the three scrolls.

"And these?" the silvered Genin inquired.

"Two storage scrolls filled with an exact copy of this set of gear and an empty storage scroll for war trophies."

"Hn, stow it all and be ready to leave in five," Kakashi replied while stepping away to the guards to sign them out. _'I wonder if any of the other sensei have problems with paranoid gear hoarders?'_

~III~

As the Blue Mermaid tossed over lines to the handlers on the pier, Asuma sneezed rather violently. Anko jerked away trying to stay out of the plume.

"Get me sick and I'll gut you, Sarutobi," the annoyed kunoichi sneered out.

Asuma merely ran a finger under his nose as he anxiously awaited the brow. Not being able to smoke at sea was killing him and now this nonsense? He needed a smoke badly.

~III~

Walking at a civilian's pace was beginning to annoy the brooding teen. Sasuke looked back from his lead spot to his sensei, the man's nose once again buried in that insufferable smut he loved so much.

' _Hn. If he trained us half as much as he read, I'd be much farther along than I am.'_ Choji guarded the threat side nearest the trees and Sakura watched the road, a standard manji formation with Kakashi strolling along at the rear. With a final grunt, he turned his eyes back to the front running over his thoughts on how to activate his sharingan.

' _The scroll I kept talked about focusing chakra to your eyes. I've learned how to stream it to my ears to improve my hearing, but the nose didn't work so well._ Remembering the distinct unpleasantness near the public bathrooms, he'd resolved not to repeat that attempt after the five days it took to purge his sinuses.

' _All it does when I push chakra to my eyes is make my vision a little sharper. What am I doing wrong?'_ So, engrossed in his dojoutsu problems he nearly missed a large water puddle off to the side of the road. His right hand stopped swinging to hover over the holster strapped to his right leg. His left hand dropped and began signing [Suspicious puddle. No rain in weeks. Plan?]

Choji couldn't see the signs from his position in Sasuke's blind spot and Sakura was too busy mooning over him to notice until the last bit asking about a plan caught her attention. Not hearing a verbal order from Kakashi, he decided not to wait for an ambush and hurled a brace of shuriken into the tiny pool startling everyone behind him except for Kakashi.

"What the HELL!" Tazuna's yell wasn't all that surprising especially since a red liquid began filling up the puddle. Spreading out from one of the shuriken sticking up from the glistening pool, the puddle erupted as a ghastly scream tore from its rippling surface. Then something jumped out of the now crimson mess in a blurring motion, a long chain trailing behind it until it drew taught and snapped.

"You little bastard! I'll flay you alive!" Dressed in brownish-grey camouflage and a horned forehead protector, the shaggy maned shinobi wore a clawed metal gauntlet with four wavy lines in it. Losing himself to the rage of his brother's death, Meizu forgot about the bridge builder and rushed the Genin responsible for his death.

Kunai clashing against a clawed glove, Sasuke's eyes noticed the thick liquid smeared on its sharp edges. Meizu's foot lashed out catching Sasuke in the chest driving the air from his lungs as the ground rushed up to slam into his back. Rolling up to his feet, Sasuke's sandals eventually gained purchase and halted his rearward slide. Standing up and grateful that he still had his weapon, the Uchiha prepared to defend against the next charge only to stare blankly at the now choking Kiri nin being strangled in Kakashi's strangle hold.

Rubbing his bruised ribs and waving off Sakura's concerned wheedling, the brooding Genin meandered back over to check on their customer while scowling at his sensei. He'd robbed him of the chance to prove himself in this fight and that did not sit well with the last Uchiha.

He secretly hoped for another strong enemy to prove himself against on this trip. He felt alive for the first time and wanted to feel that rush of adrenaline once more.

"Nice work Sasuke in detecting the genjutsu. Next time, It also might not hurt to signal _both_ of your teammates so you're not fighting a stronger opponent alone." A single grunt was his only reply.

Choji blinked in surprise then frowned in annoyance. Kakashi hadn't seen him angry yet but, at the rate Sasuke was progressing it was only a matter of time.

"Sakura," he paused longer than normal while staring emptily at her face, "nice job doing whatever it is you do but next time, help a little, okay?" His eye crinkled up into its usual smile. "I'm glad we could have this talk." He then turned to glare at Tazuna.

"I was hoping to find out who they were after, but that plan got scuttled." His eye narrowed dangerously at Tazuna, who was doing his best to stay emotionless.

"Oh? That's too bad." He tried to match Kakashi's one-eyed glare.

"I would hate to think that our client misrepresented his mission requirements and find out that the Demon Brothers were in fact here to kill him. It might make it impossible to keep him alive when a stronger shinobi comes to finish the job."

"Well, then I guess it's a good job that you're such an elite ninja, isn't it?" Inside Tazuna was sweating bullets. If these shinobi found out the truth, they might abandon him to die. If that happened, his family, no his entire village was done for. He had to string them along until it was too late.

Kakashi grunted but walked over to dispel the jutsu to reveal another Kiri nin, a slowly bleeding out Kiri nin sighing his last breath, with a matching metal glove and the other half of the chain that once tied them together. A shuriken had gotten lucky and struck his carotid artery.

Sealing up the cooling body along with the unconscious Meizu, Kakashi ran through a five-set series of seals before slamming his right hand onto the dirt road. Once the smoke cloud from a small explosion cleared, a brown pug wearing a blue vest and a Leaf forehead protector strapped around his head lifted a tiny paw in salute to the silver Jounin.

"Yo!"

Sakura blinked not believing the deep voice emerging from the tiny dog but there it was.

"Take this to Hokage-sama please." Gripping the missive in his jaws, the ninken vanished in another puff of smoke.

"Now what?" Sakura queried. Today had been full of surprises.

"Now we wait for a response from the Hokage. Without either more information or backup, we cannot continue as we are." Sasuke huffed but moved to the side of the road to brood quietly.

More than one pair of shinobi eyes observed a slightly more nervous Tazuna while he reached for a spare sake bottle in his travel pack. There was clearly more to this story than met the eye.

The Hokage's answer came back a few hours later, the sun having already begun its descent on towards evening. Rolling the scroll back up, Kakashi rose to his feet and called everyone together.

"Well, it appears without concrete proof we cannot prove that Tazuna lied about the contract. We continue as before." He raked his eye over the sweating drunk who was breathing heavily despite having rested for two hours.

"However, if it is found out that Tazuna hid important facts about the mission, then not only will it be upgraded to reflect an A-rank but Nami will be forced to pay the difference plus a penalty for their deception. Until then, we'll meet our back up team at Coral Village." He started walking once again as everyone fell back into place.

"We will meet them at the crossroads. Move out Team."

Tazuna tried not to let his nerves show. He'd dodged a major attack just now. He could only hope that Gato would give up with such a powerful escort to help Nami escape his clutches.

~III~

Opal shifted inside her smaller cubby of the Kirakira Dōkutsu (Glittering Grotto). Tired of her father's disappointed sighs and angry glares, she'd retreated to her personal cave among the hundreds dotting the cliff face of their ocean-bound territory.

He was getting closer and her heart fluttered. She could feel him through the link, his sadness and despair made her worry, but she couldn't tell why unless they were linked in the dream. She longed for the bond, a real connection without precursors or conditions. The hopeful child inside her heart wished this feeling in her chest was because of their partial connection, that it was because he also longed to be with her.

The vengeful spirit lurking not far from that child hoped the cause for his sadness was the purple-haired woman reeking of snakes so she could rend her body in half with her teeth.

Either way, she spent her quiet moments away from the clan's gathering place picturing his face and that magnificent crown of golden hair marking him as a _Walker_ , as _her Walker_.

Her head perked up when two more females slithered into her hideout all a gossip. Minō and Nectamia were less than a third her size, her particular family having been bred to be clan messengers and information gatherers. Sleek and slender, the midnight purple sisters were usually her only constant companions and, until recently, Opal's only source of laughter.

"Tell us…" Minō began.

"All about him…" Nectamia continued.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase, Onee-san!" they pleaded together.

The larger echidnae enjoyed their playful natures and settled down to retell her encounter with the last known _Walker._

Their first echoing squeal together began with the hushed phrase of, "He _touched_ me!" Cue the high-pitched girlie squeals from armored female sea serpents.

~III~

Naruto could feel her joy through their bond, and it made his heart swell a bit. His mind was literally in another dimension knowing that's where Opal was as he glided through the trees and Hi no Kuni's darkening skies.

Asuma had asked him to set a high pace knowing they'd get to rest the night near the crossroads so that's what he did. The added benefit came in that Ino and Shikamaru stopped asking him if he was okay in order to conserve their breath.

His mind kept dwelling on his dreams with Opal, his encounters with Hestia, and his last night in Orario with Eina. Admittedly he was torn as a result.

Opal had explained very clearly that she would be bonded to him forever, but she was a summons, even in her human form the two could never create a family with their dissimilar biology. That didn't mean that certain things weren't expected of him and she would make those abundantly clear once their bond was final. He needed to come to the Grotto and sign the contract but, before he could do that, he would be required to prove himself to the clan. Once he could be freed from traveling missions this would come to pass and they could be joined as one soul.

He didn't know what to think of that, so he pushed it to the side. Instead he focused on Hestia.

The petite woman claiming to be a goddess had no plans to ever leave Orario or even Istoria at large. She flat out refused which made their passionate acts his last night in the city all the more confusing to him. They hadn't committed themselves fully to the act Hestia claiming that she would hold on to her virginity for Bell should he ever come around (he was her chosen one after all). She, however, made it clear that her other affections were his to enjoy so long as he was in or near Orario and, if Bell should ever come around, he would enjoy her full embrace. It made no sense. The woman had no fear or restrictions on her behavior no matter how much he enjoyed the perks of such wanton freedom.

Since he had no desire to turn into a man-whore, he severed the extra-curricular activities and turned his attention to Eina, an island flower of gentile beauty and refinement. She was willing to commit but unsure if she would be welcome in Konoha. For now, and their one night together aside, she wanted to see how things developed and spend more time with him. Seeing as he planned to return to Orario to visit her, he reluctantly agreed to keep in touch and bid her farewell. Which brought him to his current predicament, Ino.

The platinum blond had been dogging him since she first walked in on him pleasuring the goddess. First, she all but threw herself on top of him in a drunken stupor. Next thing he knew, she avoided him like the plague. Now she was dogging his heels and trying to chase him away from anything to do with other women. It was maddening!

He thought she needed to make up her mind. Either she wanted more from him or nothing at all. She needed to pick one and move on.

Suddenly a blue spike pinged his senses about a kilometer away and he signaled to alert his team. Slowing his transit pace, he began the leisurely drop to the forest floor and strolled the last twenty meters out to meet a haughty-looking Neji Hyuuga. Once the entire team emerged from the treeline, the crotchety Branch Hyuuga spun without a word and began walking off into the shrubbery leading them to a campsite not far from the main road.

Naruto gave his first smile of the day when his eyes landed on Tenten, her own body barreling like a pink and brown ballista as she plowed into his chest to wrap him up in her arms. Seeing her charge, Naruto planted his feet with chakra and lifted her up off the ground enjoying the feel of her chest smashing against his own. Despite her now radiant blush, the twin-bunned girl did not release him right away.

She was happy that he was back and not the least bit shy, her father's friendly advice still ringing in her ears.

 _'Ten-chan, good men are rare in this age. Good shinobi are even more so. Don't waste your days waiting for an ideal.'_ The subtle reference to a certain long-haired Hyuuga was not missed.

"TENTEN! YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE BLINDING IN YOUR FIDELITY TO A RETURNING COMRADE!" She cringed and shivered in his arms. Naruto remembered her many, many gripe sessions over the green-clad duo so he was prepared (as much as a person could be) for their antics.

Tenten buried her face into the crook of his neck and inhaled with a happy sigh ignoring the blatant throat clearing going on behind him. She was enjoying the smell of fresh evergreens and spice consequences be damned. Eventually her annoyance at the now hacking Yamanaka peaked and she looked over his shoulder to meet Ino's irate glare.

"What? That cough sounds pretty terminal. Can I help you?"

Ino's outraged gasp showed how annoyed she was at their interaction. "Yes, I need you to release my _teammate_ ," she stressed the word unnecessarily, "so we can get on with the mission brief." Tenten's bubbly laugh caught her by surprise as she released the blond but took his hand to lead him away so they could catch up.

Ino turned to Shikamaru and whined but the pineapple-haired boy waved her off with another "too troublesome" and walked deeper into camp.

Asuma and Gai quickly met up and began talking with mission scrolls in hand while everyone settled in.

"Shika!" Ino was whining and it was starting (continuing) to grate on his nerves. The so-named Genin was trying to avoid her and spoon up some stew from the simmering kettle at the same time. He was only succeeding at the latter. "Do something!" He glared at her briefly before settling down on a stump.

Neji sat patiently with his hands resting on his thighs as he followed the blond woman's rantings, one eyebrow raised comically.

"No." She gasped in disbelief at Shika's minuscule response even as she dogged his heels.

"What? Why not?" Having reached his fill, the Team Ten Leader whirled on her and jabbed a finger in her forehead.

"Ow!" Rubbing the reddening spot, she glared back. "What was that for?!"

"Make up your mind troublesome woman." Anko raised an eyebrow as she made up a bowl of rice and stew for herself. "You don't want him, but you don't want anyone else to get him. You can't have it both ways so either poop or get off the potty." He huffed off once more to sit by himself.

"Either way, leave me out of it." He mumbled a few more choice words about the troublesome nature of all blonds then started stuffing his mouth to avoid further speaking.

Ino's saddened face turned to watch her gently smiling teammate sitting uncomfortably close to the brown-haired weapons mistress of Team Nine and didn't like what it saw. She absently wondered if her new necklace could be used to store harmful spells as well as healing ones. She had several in her novice's journal, one that even grew warts in uncomfortable places. Perhaps that would teach the strumpet to keep her buns off of someone else's man.

She blinked at the realization. Since when did Ino consider Naruto _her_ man?

"Team Gai, gather round." Tenten rose and sauntered over, her hips swaying intentionally for the blond male behind her.

"Team Ten, you as well. Get over here," Asuma parroted out. Anko stayed put but the other three sidled up next to their Genin peers.

"Ten, we'll be camping here tonight before moving on to Konoha in the morning. Our mission was to support Seven in their push to Nami if we were the first ones here. Since Gai's team arrived first, they'll pick up the support mission and we'll return to Konoha in the morning to make our capture report."

A clone of Naruto popped into existence without seals or words then dashed off towards the main road. All eyes turned to him with those belonging to Gai's team doing so in surprise.

"They are about a kilometer out sensei. I sent a clone to meet them at the fork and bring them here." Neji activated his Byakugan and nodded his concurrence once his team looked to him for confirmation.

"Ah, my confident comrade. It appears that you have a sensor as well! YOSH! WE WILL COMPETE TO DEVELOP THE STRONGER SENSOR! IF I CAN NOT, I WILL RUN FIVE LAPS AROUND ALL THE LAND OF FIRE!" Asuma borrowed a page from Kakashi and cut him off before he could really get on a roll.

"Sorry, did you say something Gai?" Gai's anime tears ended the rant as Lee, the mini-clone, began furiously scribbling down his teacher's motivational pledges.

Shaking her head at their sad display of manliness, Ino's eyes glanced over at Anko to see her scowling and hunched over a bowl of stew. The purplette's moody eyes were cut over to the side of the camp as she chewed slowly, her face clearly showing her displeasure at whatever she was looking at. Turning in that direction as she grabbed her own dinner, she saw Naruto sitting with his back leaned up against a tree now that the group had disintegrated with their teacher's antics.

Sitting next to him was Tenten looking extremely comfortable while they talked and joked about recent adventures. With her own disgruntled look, Ino stomped off to sit next to the cranky Nara his objections be damned.

"Don't!" she raised a finger to silence the complaint already on its way.

~III~

Before anyone realized it, Team Seven came swaggering into camp like they'd just saved Konoha. Well, everyone except for Choji and Kakashi. So really, just Sasuke and his number one fangirl. Despite having done nothing of real consequence during the fight, he entered the camp as the conquering hero.

Not surprising at all was the fact that Teams Gai and Ten could hear Sakura berating Naruto's poor clone and bragging about the Uchiha heir's tactical expertise from the roadside where he met them. It was something about taking out a dangerous Chunin from Kiri single-handedly.

Ino bristled dreading the confrontation to come but she wasn't alone. Tenten's spoon was paused just above her bowl as her eyes narrowed. She never really liked the Uchiha and his tag along harpy.

The clone, having finished his task, released immediately upon reaching the camp. Kakashi's exposed eye crinkled up into a smile at the sight of his sensei's son before he excused himself to go speak with the two males sharing a meal. Sasuke strutted around the camp eyeing everyone and helping himself to the evening meal without permission while Sakura preened in his wake.

"Nice trick, Dobe." He didn't even have the courtesy to face him when speaking so Naruto promptly ignored him. Tenten bristled again and made to rise from her seat. Naruto's hand slipped out to gently grasp her forearm, his head gently shaking as if asking her to let it go.

She settled back down with a hateful look in her eyes. Sakura noticed and smirked, her eyes instead settling on the other blond in the group as she sauntered over to plop down next to her.

"How's life with the dead last, Ino-pig? Have you found a way to escape yet? Perhaps you should take an updated picture of a real shinobi to keep with you after we leave tomorrow." The pinkette's face was smug with self-satisfaction.

For her part, Ino had been scrutinizing the Uchiha's arrival and the more she looked at him the more his superficial beauty started shining through. She was beginning to see the ugliness just beneath the surface and she found herself liking what she saw less and less while subconsciously comparing him to the other blond she knew. To further complicate things, Sakura's last comment topped the poop sundae and put a sour taste in her mouth that just wouldn't leave.

It wasn't just how he belittled Naruto, although that left a sour taste all its own. It was his attitude towards every Genin in the camp. He swaggered as if he owned the place. He bragged as if they owed their very existence to him. The hubris oozing from him made her want to choke.

"Keep him, Sakura. I've lost my interest in Sasuke Uchiha."

Her words shocked both Sakura and a drinking Shikamaru as he spit a mouthful of water into the night air. Ino's concerned look in his direction lasted long enough to make sure he wasn't choking before she turned back to her bowl of stew and started eating again, this time with genuine interest.

Sakura stared at her former friend-now-rival-in-all-things-Uchiha and a light came one. Too bad it was the wrong color bulb.

"Ah! I see what you're up to," she sarcastically whined. "You think by pretending not to care I'll drop my guard so you can swoop in, but it won't work Ino-pig!" Ino's annoyed smirk shot back to her former best friend and she laughed. It was a short burst, but it was definitely a laugh.

"Think whatever makes you sleep better. I truly wish you the best of luck with him and hope you two have many fat Uchiha babies in that ridiculous home of his." Ino shook her head at Sakura's disbelief before her eyes caught Naruto's very confused stare. Blushing a bright red, her face shot downward as she tried to focus on finishing her meal and going straight to bed.

She felt free for lack of a better term. With that final chain broken, Ino Yamanaka felt she could move on with her life. The thought of moving forward was a good one.

Now if she could only get a certain blond to take an interest in her. maybe she should strip down and climb on top of him again. Maybe she wouldn't run away this time...

~III~

Team Seven and Team Gai packed up and continued on the next morning. Tenten snuck in one last hug before they hit the road, much to Ino's raging unhappiness.

Naruto unleashed an army of clones to clean up the camp and they were off shortly after breakfast wrapped up. By noon due to traveling at shinobi speeds, Team Ten landed not far from the eastern gate, signed in, then headed straight for the Hokage's Office to debrief.

The Hokage beamed at the successful mission even as he handed off the two capture scrolls to an ANBU agent.

"Well done, Team Ten. The details I have in the form of your official report. Are there any other concerns that I need to be aware of?" Asuma and Anko looked at each other before Asuma asked if the room was secure. Puzzled, Hiruzen engaged a privacy seal and waited for his son to resume.

"I didn't want to send this in the report, so I've written a separate one here." He set the roll down on the Hokage's desk. "It contains everything about Anko's encounter with the _Umihebi_ when they abducted Naruto at sea." Naruto's face immediately flushed with anger.

"You disagree with something, Naruto?" the Hokage quietly asked.

"I do, Hokage-sama." Both Hiruzen and the two senior shinobis flinched. Naruto never addressed him as anything other than "old man," meaning he was the adoptive grandfather that he loved. "The _Umihebi_ were protecting me. They mistakenly assumed that I was being attacked and responded appropriately." He looked neither left nor right, his eyes locked on the Sandaime.

"Why would a summons clan do that, Naruto?" Hiruzen was trying to come to grips with how a summons, any summons, could come to their realm unsummoned let alone function without a summoner. The _Umihebi_ hadn't been active since the fall of the Uzumaki but to still linger… The implications were very unsettling.

"They did it because they are still bonded to the Uzumaki and our branch clan, the Senju. For whatever reason, they keep calling me 'The Last Walker' and took it rather personally when they thought they saw someone attacking me on the ship." He gave no names and no details, which only served to pique the Hokage's interest more.

"Who attacked you, Naruto?" Anko fidgeted to his far left.

"No one, Hokage-sama. I was being dressed down for being anti-social and the particular _Umihebi_ claiming to be my future partner mistook it for violence. She got upset and decided to do something about it."

Anko's eyes shot wide open and her head whipped around to zero in on Naruto. "She? _Partner_?! WTF Naruto! You never mentioned that part!"

"It's clan business and doesn't concern you, Jounin-san." He didn't look her way, but the words stung and he could tell. He could just make out her flinching step backwards at the venom in his voice.

"Thank you, Naruto. That will be all. I may have questions for you later." Naruto bowed at the waist then left through the door with his teammates just ahead of him."

"Team Ten!" Asuma called out making them pause. "Three days rest. Meet again Monday morning at the usual time and place." The three nodded then closed the door as they filed out of the office.

Hiruzen sighed as he watched him go. There was pain there right below the surface, but he hoped the boy would pull through. He had a meeting with Inoichi tomorrow and hopefully things would begin to wind down. Hiruzen turned his head to Anko with a heavy sigh as he lifted another scroll that had been delivered by snake messenger that morning.

"Now, care to explain to me the meaning of this?" He hefted it into the air.

"I, Anko Mitarashi, hereby request reassignment to regular ANBU duty. I believe we've met the requirements of this tandem sensei mission and it's time I got back to work." Neko started in the corner from where she stood watch over the Hokage. Hiruzen peered into her eyes for several minutes hoping that she was joking but instead saw complete honesty and determination. Asuma's face showed that he was caught off-guard so Hiruzen correctly assumed it was meant to be kept from him until now.

"You are sure the team is proceeding in the right direction?" Anko merely nodded her head and set her jaw. "Very well, you have three days of R&R. Report to _Dragon_ at the end and don't forget to pick up your mission pay in disbursing." She bowed then vanished in a body flicker.

Hiruzen looked at Asuma and frowned. "Okay, what really happened?"

"Okay pops but you're gonna want to dismiss your ANBU detail for this one." Hiruzen's left eyebrow rose in surprise thinking once again how he was much too old for this shit.

~III~

Joint Team Tazuna, as Kakashi was calling them, stepped off the small boat and on to dry land with a very nervous bridge maker in tow. For the five miles it took to navigate the coast line to reach his house, all of them tensed as if feeling eyes on their backs.

It was unsettling to feel like the treeline was watching them but the pressed on. Shinobi were shinobi and these had a job to do. The day progressed without further incident however, and a relieved Tazuna burst into his home so that he could start introductions.

Choji even parted with some of his food to help with the dinner celebration in honor of their safe return.

Unseen by the Genin clustered quietly inside the now extremely cramped house, a ghost-like pair of nukenin were less than a hundred meters away from the front door observing from the safety of their mist. Unnatural in that it only covered the immediate twenty-five meters around them, it provided the perfect spot to alter their plan and select the perfect target.

The taller of the two figures began to chuckle ominously awaiting the start of his sport. Prey was best when it felt overconfident.

~III~

Team Ten parted ways at the bottom of Hokage Tower. Shikamaru left almost immediately with a casual wave over his shoulder, his feet carrying him off to the Nara Clan estate. Ino lingered for a moment, her eyes on the ground as she struggled with her thoughts. In the end, she mumbled out a weak, "Cya, Naruto," before heading off to her family's home a few blocks over.

Naruto watched her go before turning to wander in the opposite direction. It was too early to go home only to stare at the walls and he didn't feel like training. He felt exhausted like he needed a good shower and a nice long night of rest but first – _rrrrraaaaaawwwwwwrrrrr,_ his stomach rumbled loud enough to startle a family strolling by. One step led to another, his nose sifting through the many aromas wafting through the Market District of Konoha.

Without thinking he found himself outside Ichiraku's, his head tilted up to stare at the banners fluttering in the afternoon breeze.

Friendly voices coming from the western gate reached his ears and before long Kiba noticed him, the dog nin guffawing loudly and clearly spoiling for a fight.

"HA! Almost didn't recognize you, dead-last! You look like a real shinobi!" Kurenai, and the rest of her team, glared at the loud-mouthed boy before Kurenai shoved them along. Kiba almost looked disappointed when Naruto refused to rise to the bait. Instead, the blond turned to meet Hinata's eyes and smiled at her, a warm smile that made her face flush a cheery tomato red. He nodded, just the barest tilt of his head, before ducking under the tarps and sliding onto a stool at the bar.

She instinctively knew what that nod meant. Hinata knew exactly where she'd be headed after they turned in their last D-rank for the day. Kurenai smiled when she noticed a determined stride in Hinata's normally graceful step, something noticed by another in their squad and it made Kiba growl in the back of his throat.

Inside Ichiraku's, Naruto sighed once then raised his voice to place an order.

"One Misu, Old Man." Teuchi and Ayame both turned around, his face beaming with a smile, hers breaking out in happiness.

"Sure thing, Naruto. Welcome back." While he got to work on the dish, Ayame came around the bar and sat next to him, her smile welcoming as she patted his arm like she couldn't believe he'd returned. Sometimes with old friends it's the quiet moments where words aren't needed that make for the best memories.

She moved away to grab his order and before long the seat she vacated was filled by the scent of lavender. "One misu ramen, please," a very contented Hinata Hyuuga called out.

The two friends sat for a while eating peacefully and Naruto thought, for just a moment, that it was good to be home.

~III~

"Why you-horrible-crybaby!" Tenten's anger had finally peaked. "How _dare_ you sit there and whine while you have a loving mother and a loving grandfather here to protect you and provide for you!"

She wanted to pummel him. She wanted to smack the taste from his mouth and pound him bloody.

"There are people on this very island that have suffered more than you and continue to suffer even as we speak in the safety provided by our teams in this very house!" She was towering over the cringing brat as her _ki_ pummeled him wave after wave.

"Tenten! That's enough!" Sakura was coming to the boy's defense, but the weapons mistress had heard all she cared to at the moment.

"Stay out of this, Sakura! He," one hand shot out to point a finger in the boy's face, "doesn't get to whine from behind the safety of his family and belittle others! You want to defend him? Then you go stand next to him and take your lumps right alongside him!" She whirled on the boy like a predator and both Kakashi and Gai thought for a moment that they might have to interfere.

"Sack up brat! As it stands right now, you're an embarrassment to the man that taught you better!" On that note, she spun about and stormed from the house, the oppressive pressure leaving with her.

Inari's face clenched up in anger as he stormed from the table and fled upstairs to the sanctity of his room.

Lee rose and bowed a quick apology to Tsunami. "Please forgive Tenten. Her real parents were taken from her during an attack on our village a year after her birth. I shall try to soothe her anger." He bowed to Gai-sensei then bolted from the house to catch his steaming teammate.

He would return two minutes later with Tenten's abandoned scroll and a note that had been stuck to the ground with one of the girl's own kunai.

~III~

Naruto was very mellow by the time he reached his apartment. What meager possessions he left behind managed to evade destruction at the hands of vandals and it only cost him a spoiled carton of milk.

He absolutely loved _fuuinjutsu_.

Making sure his apartment was locked up tight, Naruto stripped for a thorough scrubdown in the shower. Once he was squeaky clean, he lifted up on the plunger to fill the tub with hot water and settled in for a nice soak. With his arms hanging over the side, his bathroom slowly faded from view as he dozed off only to be replaced by a large cavern bathed in soothing blue light.

"Welcome back, U~ōkā." Her smile was warm but something in her eyes made his grin falter. All the same, she slid into the water assuming her human form as she did so. Instead of embracing him once she drew close, Opal half bowed/ half curtsied with her arms out wide and her head bent towards the earth.

Naruto blinked in utter confusion.

"Please forgive this one for her offense." Naruto blinked yet again at a complete loss of words.

"What? What offense? You haven't done anything." Her head twitched, the curtain of ivory hair swaying with the motion.

"Opal does not understand. Surely this one has offended the U~ōkā or why else would you turn away?" Her head came up barely enough to see his waist while the rest of her body remained prostrate before him. In her current position, every movement made her sway enticingly making it hard to focus on anything above her neck.

"Turn away? I need you to explain to me, Opal. I don't understand what you're saying." He reached out and grabbed her shoulders and her body tensed as he pulled her forward and up so that their bodies touched chest to chest. The sea serpent turned human blushed a lovely shade of pink, her eyes fluttering closed with the contact.

"W-W-W-Warm," she sighed out. Unfortunately, Naruto could not take the time to enjoy the moment.

"What do you mean, Opal?" She lowered her arms to wrap them around his waist, her eyes focusing to the side of his body at something on the floor of the cavern.

"I sensed your chakra approaching the ocean from the deep lands. You were so very close to the islands of Nami I could almost smell your flesh." The gorgeous woman closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her cheek laying against his shoulder. "You rested at night and I was hopeful to see you again the following day, but your warm chakra turned once again back into the forests. I assumed it was due to my actions, that you were," she peeked a quick glance before turning her eyes back to the cold ground, "angry with me." Her arms tightened around his waist in worry. "I felt your chakra fade for half the day before it vanished from my senses. I mourned."

Naruto was stunned. She was a sensor and a powerful one, but that realization had to wait. Something needed to be explained first. Sitting down in the shallow end of the pool he pulled her into his lap before wrapping his arms around her tiny waist.

"You did nothing wrong, Opal." Her creamy eyes rose from the floor with hope shining in both bright orbs. "Our shinobi travel in teams and another team needed help. My team was asked to join them, and they were in fact going to Nami." Her beautiful head tilted to the side as she listened attentively.

"Unfortunately, another team arrived before we did and took on that responsibility so," he shrugged helplessly, "we were no longer needed and sent home the next morning." Her face fell with the news. She was so very close to seeing him again. Her sigh was heartbreaking for the Konoha shinobi.

"It pleases me that you are not cross with me." This time her smile lit up her eyes. "I shall wait patiently for you to come to me."

"I cannot wait to come see you, but I don't know if another mission to Nami will be available so soon." She looked up at him and blinked as her eyes began to tear up.

"Oh, I see." Her shoulders drooped again, and Naruto saw her mood plummet.

"I will do my best to get the very next one assigned to me. I promise, Opal!" He was feeling like a desperate failure, but he didn't know why.

"It's fine, U~ōkā. I understand if you do not wish to reverse summon yourself to the Grotto. I-I-It's okay, truly it is." Naruto's eyes popped open and his left palm came up to prominently slap against his forehead. He'd completely forgotten that bit.

According to his mother's notes, he could go directly to the summon's lair so long as he didn't have a signed contract already. Concerned that he may have become unstable, a panicked Opal grabbed his hand in both of her own and clutched it between her breasts. Naruto blushed at the soft texture of her skin and the soft feel of the rather intimidating mounds enveloping his hand up to the wrist.

"I'll be honest, Opal. I completely forgot about that." She blinked up at him in mild confusion.

"Does this mean that…" She dared not say it aloud for fear of him refusing.

"As soon as I'm dressed from my bath, I will summon myself to the Grotto." She squealed in delight and flung her arms around his neck, which he didn't object to at all since his face replaced his spoiled hand in the deep valley of her cleavage.

~III~

Dressed in his full kit, clothes, thigh holsters and all, Naruto recited the instructions to himself as he went through the procedure.

"Draw blood for the offering and apply liberally to the hand that will be used to make the summons." Biting his left thumb with one of his very sharp canines, he swabbed it across the palm of his right hand.

"Picture very clearly the summons of choice, if available." He pictured Opal and had to shake his head as her naked torso filled his mind. He could almost hear her giggling in the back of his head as he focused extremely hard on picturing her majestic scales and graceful neck.

"Perform the following five signs." Naruto made it a habit to practice the five seals at least twice a week and flew through them despite his nerves being a bit high-strung. _'[Inoshishi, Inu, Tori, Saru, Hitsuji]'_

Slamming his palm down on the floor of his apartment, Naruto released a large amount of chakra and the world imploded. For several seconds, nausea dominated everything while he fought down the urge to vomit. Several deep breaths and his breathing steadied just as the smoke began to clear. As it faded, the still fog-blind Genin could hear what sounded like a dozen fans flicking back and forth at high speed.

The air stirred and the fog from the jutsu finally evaporated bringing the shocked boy face to face with a half dozen _Umihebi_ of various shapes, sizes and hues. All of them were locked on to his body for the slightest move, their necks laid out low to the ground in an aggressive posture.

"You have one chance, mortal, before we rend the flesh from your bones. State your name and purpose and pray that we do not find your moral fiber lacking."

Naruto looked up from the floor and the hostile-looking sea serpents at his level, many of whom were large enough to swallow him whole, and in to the menacing eyes of the largest creature he'd ever come across. Its scales were the color of midnight and the flukes rimming his head and back were pale white and crackling with energy just like the raked ivory horns spiking up from his head.

"Oh, dip," the Uzumaki heir whispered out very much afraid to move a muscle.

~III~

* * *

 _ **[Jutsu Used in This Chapter]**_

* * *

 **[C-Rank] Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique):** This Jutsu, using a contract, Seal, and the user's blood, binds an animal to the user. The type of animal is determined by the contract and Seal performed. The blood is used as a signature to make the contract, which can be written on a scroll or tattoo, valid. Once bound, the animal can be summoned to perform a task or help the user in battle.  
Other types of Summoning Techniques can summon powerful objects, such as weapons (Tenten) or Kankurou's puppets. The hand seals for this jutsu are: Boar (Inoshishi) Dog (Inu) Bird (Tori) Monkey (Saru) Ram (Hitsuji).

* * *

 _ **Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom**_

 _ **By Minato Namikaze**_

 _ **Chapter 4: "Without a Plan, There Can Be No Attack…"**_

* * *

 _We've covered proper diet, developing chakra control, and broadening your talent horizons but where does that leave us? Do you have an idea on where you want to go with your shinobi career? Do you even have a plan?_

 _What? Did you believe that everything would just fall into place on its own?_

 _The full quote is, "Without a plan, there can be no attack; without attack, there can be no victory." The same in battle applies to preparation for battle. Build a plan before you start and be sure to lay the foundation with what we've already discussed. A clan home built in the swamplands cannot stay afloat._

 _Rushing blindly into the heat of battle will only reward you with pain and blood. Only a fool in neon colors would do so hoping for things to turn out for the better._

 _Learn to read your opponent's fighting style so that you can find their weakness and exploit it. Study the great masters and drill their tactics into your mind until they become reflex. Train your body in the strongest techniques until they become instinctive. Push your limits until they exceed your wildest dreams. Only then will you become a force to be reckoned with. Only then will you become a shinobi to be feared._

 _Perhaps along the way you'll gain insight and patience, two of the greatest assets of a superior tactician and operative. In these building blocks lie the path to the pinnacle of success._

 _What you must remember is that it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop (I believe a really old philosopher said that once). Just remember to develop a plan before you start the journey(*)._

 _To help you on your way, I recommend the following shinobi and non-shinobi references upon which to build your framework…_

~III~


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I want to thank the people that continue to provide support and feedback for this fanfic. Your reviews really do help (yes, even the critical ones). In fact, thanks to the keen eyes of **Dancingrage** , my sea serpent dyslexia was discovered and corrected (is being corrected). Sometimes you can become too familiar with something and not see the simplest mistakes.

Let's progress to what I'm calling the ANBU Initiate Arc (until I can come up with something better).

As always, back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 14: Given the Opportunity**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _Slamming his palm down on the floor of his apartment, Naruto released a large amount of chakra and the world imploded. For several seconds, nausea dominated everything while he fought down the urge to vomit. Several deep breaths and his breathing steadied just as the smoke began to clear. As it faded, the still fog-blind Genin could hear what sounded like a dozen fans flicking back and forth at high speed._

 _The air stirred and the fog from the jutsu finally evaporated bringing the shocked boy face to face with a half dozen_ Umihebi _of various shapes, sizes and hues. All of them were locked on to his body for the slightest move, their necks laid out low to the ground in an aggressive posture._

" _You have one chance, mortal, before we rend the flesh from your bones. State your name and purpose and pray that we do not find your moral fiber lacking."_

 _Naruto looked up from the floor and the hostile-looking sea serpents, many of whom were large enough to swallow him whole, and in to the menacing eyes of the largest creature he'd ever come across. Its scales were the color of midnight and the flukes rimming his head and back were pale white and crackling with energy._

" _Oh, dip," the Uzumaki heir whispered out very much afraid to move a muscle._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Grand Audience Chamber of the Glittering Grotto**

The suddenly terrified Genin straightened his spine and stood tall. Squaring his shoulders and thrusting his chin out, the bronze-skinned boy from Konoha took a deep, steadying breath, glanced once to the timidly-onlooking Opalessa, then locked eyes with the largest specimen of the _Umihebi_ that he'd ever seen.

"My name is Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki, son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, and the last living Uzumaki in the Village Hidden in the Leaves." He paused for a moment and waited to see if anything was about to disembowel him before he could continue.

"My purpose here is to rejoin the Uzumaki Clan with the _Umihebi_ as I rebuild my clan's honor." His eyes flickered to Opal and lingered just long enough to see her nod her head in encouragement.

"I am here to demand the _Trial_ so that I can prove that the Uzumaki still thrive among its enemies. I am here, if proven worthy, to submit myself to the _Trial_ in the hope that I may be found worthy of the _Bond_." His next breath was shaky coming out in a nervous hiss. Once again, he searched his peripheral vision hoping that nothing big or blurry was coming to eat his intestines. Opal had admitted once under extreme snuggling that her clan found that part of their prey a choice delicacy.

Poseidus, for all his majestic size and power, was refusing to look Magnus' way. He could feel the self-gratification oozing from his scaly hide, and he would not feed his ego further. That didn't stop the elder serpent from clearing his throat loudly not once but twice.

"Venerable Patron," he literally crooned, "they boy says he's here to take the trial. Did you catch that part? Did you?" Poseidus never wanted to smite someone more than he did right then.

"YES!" his fangs were grinding against one another, "I. Did." Each word was bit off in agonizing fashion.

"Ahem, then perhaps, Venerable Patron," the now all-too-smug Magnus continued, "perhaps we should-."

"MAGNUS!" the boss summons roared out to stop his wheedling. The only one who jumped was Naruto, the others long since used to this particular repartee. "Perhaps you should make yourself useful and bring us the Oracle of Tides." Magnus' reptilian inner eyelids blinked happily as his huge maw swung around and bellowed the command again, smaller members of the clan slithering off like salamanders to retrieve this Oracle person.

Until then, the gathering of powerful _Wyrmkin_ , as Opal referred to her race, all settled down on their scaled bellies. Most simply curled up on the ground along the sides and rear of the chamber while a half dozen or so curled up comfortably on enormous shelves carved into the chamber walls. Naruto took the opportunity to observe his observers in their natural surroundings.

The many glowing spirals and seals in his dreamworld corresponded to real-world eggs here and there were hundreds littered about the cavern. The pools were identical with one large one near the very center of the cavern. While multi-hued in complexion, the _Umihebi_ tended to follow one of two strains. They were either fair-scaled and bore pearl, seafoam or sky-blue hides like Opal and her mother, or they were darker earthy colors ranging from bronzed browns, deep ocean blues, forested greens, or the midnight scales of the boss and his son, Titus.

The same Titus that had been staring at the blond Genin since he announced his birth and hadn't turned away since. Naruto was beginning to feel like dinner and found it rather uncomfortable.

What re-entered the chamber causing every serpent to bow its frilled head wasn't a person but a thing. Four powerfully-built males, presumably sea serpents like Opal shifted into a more versatile form with hands, were carrying a large chest using two golden rods fitted through reinforced rings in the side of the container. It was reverent and ceremonial in nature as they walked, each wearing the same Egyptian garb that Opal wore only less ornate. The quartet placed the large object directly underneath Poseidus, the box rotating in slow measured steps until it was positioned just so.

Once the bars were removed, Opal stepped forward smiling at Naruto as she passed, and her eyes fixated on the brass-bound lid. Once her hands touched the lid, a dozen seals burst into white light and a gong intoned somewhere.

" _Who seeks the path?"_ a booming voice echoed out.

"This child of the sea," Opal responded with her head bowed.

" _Who knows the way?"_ the voice intoned as another gong sounded.

"He who walks the path alone," she hummed out.

" _Who offers tithes to pave the way?"_ the voice challenged.

"We who dance to the lunar call...," this time the answer was chanted by the female serpents in the chamber. Even Opal's mother spoke.

"Until waves come no more," the entire chamber responded in time with the voice from nowhere.

As the gong sounded seven more times in mournful reverence, Opal opened the lid and stood aside, a brilliant light bursting from the opened box and haloing her curvy body in its golden aura. Naruto blinked and felt compelled to move, his feet carrying him one slow step at a time to the giant pearl resting on a deep blue pillow of satin inside the chest. Standing in front of it, he lifted his hands and placed them on either side of the orb and its glow pulsed changing from golden to pure white before filling the entire chamber with its glow.

Naruto's blue eyes stared into the swirling depths of the pearl, the slow spirals, the pooling and churning currents beneath its surface hypnotizing him. Tearing his gaze from the pink-tinged object, he looked up to meet Poseidus' eyes in confusion.

"What? Did you think we'd battle you to the death or require you to win a challenge against one of us?" Naruto nodded briefly in confusion as Poseidus chuckled. "If that were the case, there would never be a summoner to the _Umihebi_ and humans would have never sought us out if all we did was eat the vanquished." Nartuo gulped noticeably.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that part?" The enormous serpent settled in to watch the rest of the show. "Well? We're waiting, human."

Naruto gulped again before glancing back over his shoulder to a very nervous Opal, her eyes willing courage into her future partner. When his head spun back around his palms landed on the pearl's surface and its light engulfed him.

Suddenly he was alone in a sea of white. Floors, sky, everything went blank and he couldn't tell where the ground ended and anything else began.

"The Oracle will test your worth. It can see into your blood, your dirty little secrets. We will know soon enough how true you are to the Uzumaki line." Naruto heard Poseidus' voice but could not see him. As he spun about looking for a door of some kind, the monotone room blurred and he found himself flying above an island surrounded by pools of swirling water. His body sailed above a small village filled with people in flowing battle robes similar to Kenshin's, tiny figures moving about gently swaying acres of grass and shrubs.

Their homes were made of white stone, their domed roofs lined with simple reddish tiles. He soared over them all headed deeper into the village towards a cluster of large homes like the mansions of the clan estates in Konoha. He saw many, many people with hair the color of his mother's, most with purplish, amber or reddish eyes. Still he flew on.

In time he sailed right through the walls of the largest dwelling, his body whisking to the upper floor settled down next to an elderly woman with flowing maroon-colored hair sitting on the edge of a very large and comfortable looking bed. A younger woman with bright red hair was kneeling at her side and the two were talking though he could not hear the words. The scene flickered again.

He was standing in a dark room with brightly glowing seals everywhere he looked. There were two tables in the very center of the room, each within a large seal array of its own. On one table, the elderly woman lay only in a thin robe open to reveal her stomach and wrappings. On the other table lay the younger girl he'd seen earlier dressed in a similar fashion. There were robed people surrounding them and the room's brightness began to increase as the scrolls in the chamber grew painfully bright to his eyes. The scene flickered again.

This time the scene changed completely. A dark-haired man with silver streaks in his long hair and plate armor the color of blood was sitting on a throne that bore the flame symbol of Konoha. He was passing the Kage's hat to a severe looking man with silver hair and three red streaks on his cheeks and chin. What caught his eye, however, was the beautiful blond girl with hazel eyes standing just to the side of the ceremony watching with pride. Again, words were spoken but they all seemed garbled to Naruto, something that frustrated him to no end. He recognized the Senju brothers, but he didn't know any of these others besides the fact that the red heads were Uzumaki. He grimaced as the scene shifted yet again.

The room was white again but, in its center, sat a man with pale blue hair and deep green eyes. Before him stood an older version of the blond girl, now a young woman, as she placed a crystal necklace around the man's neck. Naruto was fascinated as the scene progressed like it was in slow motion. He walked at his normal speed until he was looking at their profiles as the woman kissed his forehead, his hands reaching out to embrace her. The scene blurred yet again.

This time the room darkened before a bolt of lightning flashed. In that moment of piercing illumination, he saw a canopied bed and two people embracing beneath the covers. In shame, he tried to turn away only to find that he couldn't leave – there were no doors. Their muffled voices and sweaty bodies told him what was coming next and he averted his eyes to stare at the floor even as his peripheral vision noticed the woman's back arch throwing the covers from her shoulders. The two clutched in ecstasy as their bodies convulsed together and the scene shifted yet again.

It was still dark, but they were outside in a thick forest. People were rushing about mouths wide open as if they were yelling, calling for something. Not five paces from where he stood was a group of Konoha nins in battle armor clustered around a person lying on the ground. Off to one side he recognized a younger version of the old man with white hair and went to see what was going on. What he found was the same gorgeous blond covered in blood not belonging to her. She shuddered, she screamed, then she turned into the embrace of the not-so-old pervert and wept openly. Laying on the ground was the same blue-haired man, his eyes open and unseeing as the necklace glittered in the torchlight. The scene flickered again but this time faster than before.

A canopied bed in a room filled with nervous med nins. The room looked familiar, but he brushed it off. Naruto saw the blond again, her legs raised as another woman hovered near her pelvis. It was raining outside like the last time he was here but there were lights on. The woman looked tired as another nurse was helping her to sit up. She was sweating, grunting, crying. A final push and a slimy child emerged into the world. Med nins began healing the exhausted woman crying happy tears as she reached for her son. Instead of shifting again, the scene froze, and Naruto took a good long look at the amber eyes and noticed the pain hiding in their depths.

Then the scene began flickering at a steady rate like a picture show. First came the blond and her child perhaps no more than a few months after being weaned. Next came a hopeful family as they reached out to take the still small child from a weeping mother. The child growing up in a family of blonds at a house with the Namikaze name tile by the front door. A picture flashed showing the blond woman leaving the village through one of the main gates with a smaller dark-haired girl in tow. The next picture of the blond male had him entering the academy and his family cheering him proudly.

The remaining pictures began alternating between the blond male and red headed Uzumaki girl in different scenes of life in Konoha. They were flashing so quickly if was difficult to sort through them. Eventually the pictures slowed to show the now man and woman standing before the Sandaime Hokage, their hands joined as the old man looped a silken cloth of white threads over their joined grip.

The picture after that was of a large clan home behind a gate bearing the Uzumaki swirl and his eyes knew that it was _their_ home. He tried to burn the image into his brain, but it soon faded to show the couple standing in a kitchen, the woman wearing a green dress over a white short-sleeved shirt. Both of her hands were resting on a rather large stomach.

She was pregnant!

Two more pictures flashed before the room he was in went blank again. The first was of the red-haired woman lying in a bed with a newborn lying next to her and the blond-haired man embracing them both. The child had golden hair with the eyes of the deepest blue and whisker marks on his cheeks.

The last image was of the blond child in the arms of the blond-haired man now dressed in the robes of the Yondaime Hokage. The man was standing on the head of a large toad and all three were staring down the massive form of the Kyuubi no Youko.

Naruto's hands fell from the glowing pearl as the tears started falling from his eyes. All around him, the _Umihebi_ were bowed and weeping, their noses pointed to the cold stone floor of the cavern. Opal's arms wrapped around his chest, but he hardly felt them as Poseidus' voice rang out through the cavern.

"When the light dims to a spark, he shall come to show us the way. All hail the return of the _U~ōkā_. May he lead this clan as in the days of old. Long live the _Umihebi_. Long live the Namikaze-Uzumaki." The chant was repeated by every sea serpent in the chamber followed immediately by a chorus of whale-like roars that vibrated the walls, ceiling and floors of the great chamber.

Opal's embrace changed as her hands slipped underneath his shirt until her fingers slid between the mesh of his chain. Her chakra began to flow into his skin with a slight hissing sound making Naruto grit his teeth. Both glowed before the female summons spun him around and kissed him full on the lips. Still reeling from what he'd seen in the Oracle orb, Naruto acted on instinct and returned it, his arms embracing her slender human form and crushing her to him.

~III~

Inside the mindspace, Kyuubi's head lifted as the outer edge of the seal formed in the shape of a dragon-like creature eating its own tail changed from bronze, like the bars, to an off-white color. Looking closer, the empty holes for eyes filled in with pale green gemstones. The great beast sighed and lowered its head. It knew what that meant from its time with Kushina.

 _ **'And life was becoming so restful after such a long time.'**_

~III~

Ino sat at the kitchen table poking lazily at her food with a barely-used pair of chopsticks, which prompted more frustrated sighs from her mother.

"Please tell me you aren't going back to those horrible diet fads again?" Her voice took on a nagging quality but there was genuine concern underneath it all.

"What? No! Of course not." Yet still she poked away having eaten half of the peppered steak and broccoli spears on her plate. Her heart just wasn't in it for some reason.

Sumiko Yamanaka glanced briefly at her husband before moving off to clear the table.

"What's wrong, Princess?" Inoichi set down his napkin and focused on his normally upbeat daughter.

"Daddy, how do you know if you're really in love?" The Clan head frowned originally thinking the specimen in question to be the duck-haired brooder. He felt this to be dangerous ground, so he proceeded cautiously.

"Well, pumpkin, you'll know when the other person's happiness means more than your own. You'll know when the thought of them being hurt derails your entire day and you spend your time worrying over and caring for them. Plus, you will know when the desire to spend the rest of your life together with them doesn't seem so terrifying anymore."

Ino looked at him pondering his very "generalized" description of what love meant to him. "You don't really know, do you Daddy?"

Inoichi's face fault made the table shudder. Picking himself up, he smiled at his little girl.

"Love means something different for everyone, Princess. That's what it means to me when I think of your mother so, you'll need to discover what love means to you." Inside he hoped it really meant Ino with _anyone other than the Uchiha._ He'd been in the boy's mind and nothing good would come of associating with him.

Ino grunted as her head nodded in agreement. It seemed like a fairly decent explanation. She would need to think on her strange feelings around her blond teammate before she could say with any certainty. One thing was for certain, her brush with the Uchiha near Nami washed away any remaining fandom stink. No, Ino had finally moved beyond that hurdle and now she had two more, that she was aware of, that needed to be dealt with.

Tomorrow she'd pay a little visit to the village princess and stake her claim.

~III~

When Opal released him from the kiss, a still teary Naruto looked deep into her eyes and wondered if this was normal behavior for a summons. After all, he couldn't picture his dad kissing the large battle toad he rode into battle.

Opal motioned for him to lift his arms as she began removing his jacket, shirt and mesh. He could only watch in confusion.

As the garments piled up on the cold ground, the baying of the _Umihebi_ Clan died off as the clan princess stepped forward to embrace him, her large globes squishing softly against his chest as a pink light enveloped her. Her body began to flow like water into his muscles almost like she was being sucked into his skin while he watched in awe. Before long, her legs disappeared into his body and he looked down upon the full-color tattoo of a pearl-tinted _Umihebi_ coiled up into a circle right in the middle of his chest. The tattoo rotated and shifted before settling into a more comfortable position with its head near the center of the coil formed by its body.

' _It is done,'_ her voice chimed out in his ears. Naruto's fingers began touching the tattoo, her body wriggling as his fingers traced down her inked spine, her voice giggling in his ears. His hands flew from his skin like he'd been shocked, and the friendly serpent chided him about waiting until his probationary period was over before he could claim her fully.

Naruto's head shot up to the larger version representing Opal's mother as his face blushed a terribly bright red color. Several of the clan chuckled, a great hissing collage of laughter at his expense.

Opal had much to teach him it would seem.

Titus looked up at his father and asked his silent question unbeknownst to the gathering. With a heavy sigh, the great summons nodded once, and Titus slithered from his perch to rear up next to the Uzumaki heir. When Naruto spun to face him, the first-born flashed once with chakra before touching his nose to the Uzumaki-born Genin's forearm, his much larger body compressing many times over before flowing over Naruto's skin like water. As the ink-like substance wound and snaked its way starting from the back of his hand then once around his forearm, it flowed in between the two storage seals there, it then came to rest wrapped around his bicep with the head laying on the outer edge.

The tattoo was a dark blue-almost-black color and, if Naruto was being honest with himself, was badass.

' _Only I am tied to your chakra network. Titus, when he joins us, will be carried separately so that he may observe and teach.'_ Naruto nodded and reached down to begin donning his gear again, much to the dislike of a small pair of serpents watching from afar.

"Your true trial begins. We will be watching, Uzumaki-san." Naruto had time to bow before he was enveloped in smoke once more. Waving away the billowing fog, he found himself once again in the comfort of his own living-bed-dining room.

He shrugged and mumbled out a quiet, "Okay, see you around then," into the quiet of his home. The tinkling chime of Opal's laughter was his only answer.

~III~

Naruto was up early the following morning. His five o'clock routine had become just that even after the short break in Istoria.

Before beginning his morning run, Naruto created one hundred and twenty-five clones in Team Ten's personal training ground. It was time to pick up the pace of his personal training regimen again, but he needed a decent body of water, which the abandoned one in the slums never had.

"You twenty-five, try to push the leaf exercise as far as you can." The mob _"Ossu'd!"_ boldly and rushed off.

"You twenty-five, spider sparring!" The next batch shot off to a group of trees, leaped up to a spot near the top of a tree, then began sparring with light to no contact. The goal wasn't to win the spar but to stay up on the tree for the entire duration.

And so-on it went. One group got kunai balancing. One group got water walking. The last batch of twenty-five got broken up into a group of ten (working on Academy Taijutsu), another group of ten (working on his Brawler Taijutsu style), and a group of five with each one working on a different ninjutsu from one of the five elemental cores (fire, water, air, earth, and lightning). When they were all deployed, Naruto increased his resistance seals to a total of four-and-a-half-times gravity then took off at careful jog around Konoha.

Opal chatted through their mental link while he ran.

" _At least we know why your hair is golden instead of the Uzumaki crimson found in your mother."_ Naruto's mind went back to the images from the Oracle.

" _We do?"_ He grunted lightly while taking to the trees to test his latest resistance setting. Absently, he remarked how much Opal's command of the human language had improved through their frequent dream discussions. She hardly digressed into the _Serpent's Tongue_ unless she was stressed or sleepy.

" _Yes, it is known that the Senju blood was the only one strong enough to match the Uzumaki in terms of genetic dominance. You had equal chances for matching your father's features as you did your mother's."_ He nodded as his feet struck the damp grass leaving side-by-side imprints.

" _I need to find out who my father's mother was. She might be alive still if she was away from Konoha when the Kyuubi struck."_ Inside her cage, the great fox shifted in irritation.

" _ **I would prefer it if you refrained from talking to yourself or at least brought the lizard with you into the mindscape so that I can hear the conversation instead of just being the focus of it."**_ Naruto blinked and actually stopped running for a second. Hearing no rebuttal or comment from Opal (turns out she did not like nor trust the great bijuu).

Apparently the Kyuubi could not hear Opal and vice versa. He just might work on this common space thing later on. For now, he had a workout to complete.

During the resistance portion of his training, Opal shifted gears to the history between the Uzumaki and the _Umihebi_ , this time speaking out loud from the tattoo on his chest, which immediately caught the great fox's attention.

"It is good that you train your body as your clan once did, according to Titus." Naruto nodded along as he counted out his push-ups. The female serpent seemed to pause from time to time but, as he couldn't see the tattoo beneath his tee shirt, he couldn't understand the rhyme or reason behind it.

"Especially those that had the privilege of bonding with my clan." Here Naruto paused in the "up" position as his head cocked curiously to the side.

"How so?"

"B-B-Bonding with one of our clan helps to s-s-s-s-strengthen and aw-w-w-w-waken your Uzumaki or Senju blood respectively." She sounded either oddly out of breath or extremely nervous. He would have to ask her about that later as Titus interjected before he could question her.

"You're confusing him," his much more mellow voice cutting in from his right arm. "If you're going to teach him, then do it properly."

Opal huffed as her older sibling interjected himself into the middle of her "Naruto Time." He was always so impatient.

"The _Umihebi_ have been with the Uzumaki far longer than the Senju, however, with their re-integration into the larger clan as a branch entity through Hashirama Senju, it became unavoidable." Naruto resumed his count at three hundred, the sonorous baritone helping him to find an easy pace as it were. "You didn't believe his development of that rare trait a coincidence, did you?"

Naruto honestly had no answer for that.

"Just as there are two branches to the Uzumaki, there are two branches to the _Umihebi_. _Echidnae Tempestatum Opiferque,_ also known as the Bringers of Storms, bonded with the Uzumaki. I am of that breed, a powerful master of the wind and lightning that made your mother, and all the Uzumaki, feared among the world as masters of the sea. Our chakra is key to nurturing your Uzumaki blood traits, I believe you call them a _bloodline_."

Naruto goggled. He still hadn't read through his mother's journal completely and, to be honest, couldn't come up with a suitable reason not to have done so. Now he was being told by the Celestial Summons linked to his mother that he could help him activate his bloodline? He was so shocked that he forgot his rep count, cursed softly, then started back up at three hundred.

"The second branch, the _Echidnae Nos Applicemus Vivificantem_ , or the Givers of Life, blended with the Senju refining their _kekkei genkai_ , what you know as the _mokuton_." Naruto hopped up from the ground and shook out his shoulders.

"Does that mean that Opal is part of that second group? She keeps referring to my mixed Senju chakra." He could feel the tattoo on his arm vibrate.

"My younger sibling," he paused trying to the appropriate descriptor, "is _passionate_ about our history and the _Pactus Serpentis_." Naruto's eyes lit up as he moved on to sit-ups and crunches.

"Pactus…(grunt)… Serpentis?"

"The binding agreement between the Uzumaki and the _Umihebi_. It binds our clans together so long as a single Uzumaki lives."

"No wonder you guys wanted to stake your claim from the Gama." The tattoo on his arm vibrated once more and, this time around, so did the tattoo on his chest.

"…for me." Naruto paused mid-rep, his rigid body locked at a forty-five-degree angle.

"Say that again, Opal?"

"…"

"Opal?" His tried to make his voice coaxing, soothing even.

"You were meant for me not some brutish toad!" Naruto blushed and noticed his chest felt extremely warm.

"I still plan to summon Gamaken and Gamatetsu at some point. They were meant to be a part of my life like they were a part of my father's." Despite lamenting not knowing his father growing up, Naruto felt a strong affinity to the toads and wasn't ready to let that part of his life fade away without trying first.

"While the _Umihebi_ understand that Minato Namikaze's spurning of the bond was necessary for the preservation of his clan, it was a blow to the _Vivificantem._ Please keep that in mind as you pursue the personal summons granted to you by the Gama Clan." The dark toned Wyrmkin's thoughts shifted subtly to his sister.

Naruto smiled as it began to sink in. It would appear that a summons could be very protective of their summoner and the _Umihebi_ were very attached it would seem. It made him warm on the inside in a very positive manner. There was something troubling the younger female though, something she just couldn't let go of.

"Are we, am _I_ not enough?" Naruto's heart sank not having considered her feelings on the matter. He saw his birthright and had not once considered the emotion and devotion he'd seen from the opalescent sea serpent. He chided himself for not looking beyond his immediate horizon.

"Never doubt that you aren't more than enough for me, Opal-hime." This time he smiled hoping that the warmth from it would transfer along with his words. "I promise you that I will not pursue more from the Gama without your consent but that pervy guy taught my father and is apparently my godfather."

Naruto grimaced at the thought.

"He did mention before vanishing out there somewhere," his arm swept beyond the walls of Konoha, "that Gamatetsu could teach me a defensive taijutsu that would complement the _Serpent's Fang_ style that the _Umihebi_ possess. I'd very much like to make myself as hard to kill as possible so that you and I have many, many years together."

His chest flushed immediately with warmth and he could hear the fox retching in the back of his mind. _'Okay, gotta limit the amount of time we let the furbag listen in on us.'_ Without another thought, he turned back to finish his workout having fallen behind during the impromptu history lesson.

He needed to get a lot stronger than he currently was.

Despite Opal's timid squeak when Naruto hopped in the shower, the morning pushed smoothly on from there. With his training clones gone and their memories appropriated, Naruto sent another wave of five off to the library and five more off to search several private bookstores with wads of Ryu. Leaving ten in his apartment to read through Jiraiya's scrolls and his personal books on seal craft, the blond Genin trucked off to Higurashi's to speak with Tenten's dad.

When he arrived, the grizzled old man was laughing and joking with Kurenai Yuhi as her team moved about restocking their gear. Naruto, seeing an opportunity, walked up quietly behind Hinata and stood with his hands behind his back and his chest inches from her shoulder blades as she fretted over whether or not to buy a set of _Stingers._

She smelled divine, the mild scent of lavender making his lips quirk upwards in the corners.

"Oi! Don't be standing so close to my Hinata, Naru-baka!" Naruto's eyes closed in annoyance almost immediately as the quiet girl "eeped!" and spun around to see her crush standing so close without her noticing. Her body instinctively backed up until her rear bumped the glass display and her hands rushed up to cover her horrible blush. Not for the first time Naruto wondered if he could get a muzzle on the loud dog-boy.

"I was going to suggest that she try out the weapon she was looking at, Kiba. Thanks for ruining my surprise greeting." His face looked anything but happy at the horn dog's interference.

"No problem, dobe." Naruto opened his eyes to see Hinata's labored breathing and a smiling Kurenai standing just to her side.

"Welcome back from your extended C-Rank, Naruto. How did you like it?" Naruto noticed that Hinata and Shino seemed interested while Kiba crossed his arms before stalking to the other side of the store still managing to keep his ear turned to eavesdrop.

"It was interesting to see another land and see how they live. I found it surprising that nukenin had worked their way so far south and west from the elemental lands." The gorgeous woman gasped in surprise.

"That's right! Your group returned the fabled _Raijin_ back to Konoha!" Naruto could hear the dog nin grumbling across the room, something about he could have done just as well.

' _Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.'_ A smile almost reached his face as he realized that the sword, unless claimed by another Senju, technically belonged to him.

Naruto's hand worked its way up to rub the back of his neck as he blushed at the unfamiliar praise.

"Any lessons you'd care to share with my team?" He thought for a second and his cheerful smile melted.

"Yeah, I have two to share." He held up a finger. "Teammwork and prior planning _as a team_ is key to success." The three already clustered around him began nodding their agreement as he held up a second finger.

"Learn to keep the personal out of your professional life. It will save you a lot of pain in the end." Kurenai's face fell remembering a similar conversation she had with Anko the night of her return during the woman's bullheaded devotion to obliterating as many brain cells as she could with sake.

"Excuse me please," Naruto mumbled out as he moved closer to the counter and held up his gauntlet. Kurenai eyed his back as he left and sighed. She was going to need to work harder to get the truth of what happened from her friend tonight.

Naruto tapped the back of his gauntlet right after shaking Old Man Higurashi's bear-like paw again.

"Is that working like you hoped or are you looking for some maintenance?" Naruto grinned back.

"It's perfect. It's so perfect I want one for my right hand." The blacksmith's eyebrows shot up.

"Sure. I am going to need about a month to fabricate it. We can deduct the cost from the next batch of sales if you like." Naruto nodded his agreement and they shook on it with the same messy handshake.

"How are things going by the way?" Now the smithy had a reason to grin from ear to ear.

"Backlog is up to a year. Regular shinobi corps are jumping in line. We should have outfitted all of the ANBU by the time your second sleeve is done." It was good news indeed. While Naruto knew the high sales wouldn't last forever, he knew it was a good boost to the shop and for the Higurashi's.

"Good. I'll check back in middle of next month. Hopefully Tenten will be back by then." Hinata's head snapped up from the counter as she heard the alarm bells going off in her mind. "See ya around, Higurashi-san." Naruto walked out the door to enjoy the rest of his lazy Saturday afternoon.

Too bad all good things must end soon enough.

~III~

A ragged Team Kakashi and Team Gai staggered to a stop outside the eastern gates to Konoha sometime near midnight, the two Jounin looking marginally better than their Genin as the teens fell to their knees in exhaustion. They were promptly whisked away to the Hokage before others could take note of their condition.

Moments later, a very grim and determined pair of Jounin senseis strode into the office of their strongest shinobi with unpleasant news to break.

~III~

Naruto looked up from the scrolls he was reading and discussing with his clones as another round of banging attacked his front door. It was late and he wasn't expecting company. Drawing a kunai from his leg holster as his ten copies did likewise, he opened the door cautiously peering from behind it into the stoic mask of a crane-faced ANBU.

"The Hokage commands that you follow the directions in this scroll to the letter." Naruto glanced down to the rolled scroll bound by black rings then back up to the mask of the shinobi with the extended arm. "I don't have all day, Genin. Take it and get moving. You have one hour."

Slipping the kunai back into its holster, he accepted the scroll and the ANBU vanished in a swirl of leaves. Naruto closed the door and locked it, his clones rising up and closing all of the curtains and activating the privacy seals he'd finally figured out and added to his home.

* * *

" _Genin Uzumaki,_

" _Consider this your one opportunity. Bring this scroll as proof to the below location. As of now, consider everything you do to be under the direct scrutiny of myself and the soldiers under my care._

" _Additionally, and until this trial ends, you will cease all verbal communication speaking only in the academic hand signs you learned at the academy. Failure to do so will result in termination of your 'opportunity.'_

" _Tell no one where you are going._

" _Tell no one why you are going._

" _Bring no gear of your own and report within the hour of receiving this document._

" _Above all, make sure you are not seen before entering the location given to you._

" _My eyes, and the eyes of your Hokage, are upon you."_

 _~ Commander General Dragon, Director of the Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai_

* * *

Naruto memorized the location as well as the special directions he needed to gain access before handing the scroll to the nearest clone. Spinning from the door, he gathered up his TAC gear and stored it into the large-capacity storage seal he'd added to his left inner bicep, including his prized gauntlet.

No way he was taking another Mizuki chance. He might not use it but he'd have it with him in case he ever got captured.

Despite being late at night (the scroll did say it would be his only chance), he donned his jacket, dispelled his clones (remembering to grab the scroll), locked up his apartment then shot off across town headed for the Market District. Taking to the shadier parts of town and the darker back alleys, he made it to a garment shop near the Konoha theater settling down on the roof near a large heating condenser.

Reaching out with his still new sensing ability, Naruto spent the next twenty minutes looking for signs of chakra bigger than rats and smiled when he found a pair about a hundred meters back in his trail across Konoha. They were good at hiding their stores of energy but not good enough to fool a true sensor.

Kyuubi scoffed from his cage but Naruto brushed it off.

Making sure that no one else was following him, he hopped down into the adjacent alleyway and knocked on the door in a one-pause-one-pause-two knock combination. A metal panel about eye level slid open to reveal an ANBU mask before slamming shut. He heard a soft click and the door slid sideways into the larger wall allowing him entry into a platform at the top of a short stairway. The same crane that delivered his scroll motioned down the stairs then strode off in that direction after the door locked with another clicking sound.

The hallway at the bottom of the stairs branched off into many other passages, each one meandering in a seemingly indefinable pattern. Without a map Naruto didn't think he'd be able to find his way along as they all seemed endless. It was as he was about to ask the tall figure how much longer that it finally clicked.

Raising one hand in the half ram, he silently pushed out a blast of chakra and the entire maze of tunnels vanished to reveal a short hallway at the bottom of the entry stairs and another door. Without a word, the _Kurēn_ ANBU pointed to the door then vanished in a swirl of wind. Naruto padded forward and pushed it open.

Inside he found a white-walled room with rows and rows of garment pegs, weapon holders and other shelves attached to the wall holding ANBU gear of all types. He even saw several thigh-bandoleers with a dozen or so _Stingers_ filling the slots.

There were two benches in the large room. One held a set of basic ANBU composite armor and body mesh with either a short-sleeved shirt of a long-sleeved one per personal preference. The second bench held a plain white cloak that appeared to be reversible, and an ANBU mask with no animal or human features beyond holes for the eyes. In the upper right side of the mask was a five-digit number that read two-nine-six-six-six.

"You have twenty minutes to dress out and kit up. Plan for an S-ranked assassination mission. You will get only one shot at this." His eyes flicked over to a Neko-faced ANBU who folded her arms and leaned against the back wall. Apparently, she was going to stay?

Naruto ran his left thumb along his jawline, back to front, signaling [Hai!] and shrugged as he doffed his clothing down to his boxers not caring if she watched him or not. Although he didn't know it, the attentive Yugao did take note of the new tattoo additions on his arm and chest as well as the seals along his body. She never knew he was into dragons but that seemed a bit extreme. She would need to report those along with her general evaluation of his personal conditioning, of which she approved greatly. In the meantime, she chose to examine his muscular build for any other new discoveries...

' _How long can you stay with me, Opal?"_ His mind reached out to the Echidnae feeling her tattoo heat up again. He was getting worried for her as that much warmth couldn't have been good for the cold-blooded creature.

' _So long as I do not fight and dwell in this chakra matrix on your chest, I can stay for a month, then I must return home to replenish. A summons cannot stray from home for too long without consequences.'_ He nodded silently to himself. It would be nice to have her company.

With military precision, he donned the long-sleeved mesh shirt choosing to hide his ornamentation. Black ANBU trousers and ankle wraps followed as well as the ANBU edition sandals. He was strong and could handle boots but wanted to err on the side of stealth. Steel toed boots brought their own headaches when you wanted to remain undetected.

The basic edition body armor wasn't custom fitted like the pieces he purchased from Higurashi's and in Istoria but they were more advanced than what the Academy issued. Strapping on the shin guards, forearm bracers and chest piece, Naruto slipped on the mask and its attached balaclava. The hood completely hid his blond hair making him nearly unidentifiable.

Suddenly the ban on talking made sense.

He released his resistance seals then the metal backed fingerless gloves came on. He then took the time to start gearing up grateful for Fuu's drilling obsessiveness in his earlier training. He grabbed a _Stinger_ bandoleer and strapped it to his left thigh. A normal holster for kunai and shuriken went on the right one. He grabbed two storage scrolls from the small garbage can acting as a holding bin and rapidly stored up the second bundle of Stingers; two hundred shuriken; fifty kunai; four spools of ninja wire; two full stacks of explosive notes (fifty notes a stack); one bundle of senbon; a maintenance equipment kit for his gear; a calligraphy set with ink jars, two refills, a mortar and pestle, and twenty blank scrolls; a full camping kit; a med kit filled with gauze, tape, splints, antiseptics, and blood and soldier pills (ten each); and one month of tasteless rations to go with two full canteens.

The scrolls he tucked away into the tactical vest he put on over his chest armor. Donning the cloak last pulling the hood up over his head, he strapped the tanto across his back, and finally turned to face _Neko_ and signed [Ready].

"You sure you're done? Once we leave here there's no coming back."

[Ready], he repeated.

She pushed from the wall, and opened the door leading him down another short hallway and into a set of double doors opening up into a vast room. It gave the impression of behind taller than he suspected with high ceilings he could not "feel" in the darkened amphitheater.

"Stand in the middle circle." Knowing she couldn't read his hand signs without light, he moved silently forward to stand in a beam of light, the light falling from the ceiling above somewhere, his feet coming to a stop as another faceless initiate with the numbers "two-nine-zero-one-three" came to a stop in the circle to his left. Naruto nodded once before turning to look at the table in front of him at which sat the Hokage, Danzo, Homura, Koharu, Iruka, and Ibiki. Standing behind the Hokage was an ANBU he'd never seen before, their face mask startlingly familiar to the blond boy trying to place the familiar feeling he was getting from Konoha's most feared ANBU Commander.

Dragon stood there in the flesh (their attire gave no indication as to any gender), so he took note of any obvious differences. The mask was black with white lines to indicate scales and, if he didn't know any better, he would have sworn it looked like Titus, who was squirming uncomfortably on his forearm for lack of a better description. The formless cloak had a fat golden band along the bottom and atop that band was a crimson one just as thick. Naruto had seen different combinations on the cloaks of other ANBU (Neko had a skinny red band with a fat red band above it) but he never recognized any significance to it before.

It represented rank and this ANBU was the top of the pyramid in the ANBU world.

They stood there sizing each other up before a third member, initiate number two-nine-eight-seven-seven joined the party in the light circle to his right. Naruto almost failed the "thou shalt not speak" test when he recognized her chakra and it took a supreme effort not to blurt out and ask Ino why she was there. Naruto instead nodded once to her and snapped his head back to the table and its distinguished panel. At least she nodded back.

He noticed Dragon's head tilt ever so slightly to the right before it was gone and the Hokage started speaking.

"You three are called here because of expressed interest in this elite branch of shinobi service. Through varies means, your skills have been found worthy of the opportunity to vie for inclusion into this selective group of our very best. You will treat this as the high-level secret mission that it is knowing that not only your potential career path is on the line," the old man paused to take in their individual presences, "but that your very lives depend on the outcome." Once the seriousness of the event sunk in, he motioned for Iruka to continue.

"Earlier this evening, Teams Seven and Nine returned from a C-Class escort mission to protect the bridge builder Tazuna." An image appeared in the air behind the table. Naruto ignored the projector beams coming from behind him instead taking note of the shuffling feet to his left. "The mission has been categorized as a complete failure." The image flickered to show Tazuna's body mounted up on a cross in the town square of a small village. The amount of blood running down his body indicated death was at least relatively fast.

"Reports indicate that the teams encountered a high-level Kiri nukenin who used a 'bait and switch' tactic to gain the upper hand and secure the target ensuring his death. Once Gato of Gato Corporation gained the advantageous position, the situation devolved into the current state of affairs." The Chunin looked up and motioned for someone to join them.

"Here to share pertinent mission details, we have the Jounin sensei of Team Seven to explain." Iruka took his seat as Kakashi Hatake stepped up next to the table.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Team Tazuna_

 _Lee returned rather quickly with Tenten's abandoned scroll and a note. The note simply stated:_

" _The kunoichi is now in my custody. If you want her back, bring the bridge builder to the bridge tomorrow morning at 9:00. No games, no tricks, no shinobi business or I keep her, use her, then hand her over to Gato's men for their sport. If you're lucky, there'll be enough to take home and bury."_

 _~ Demon of the Mist_

 _Combined Team Tazuna sat flabbergasted. Their mission had barely started and already things had taken a turn towards the really crappy. As to be expected, Tazuna's family did not take well to the development, especially with Tazuna arguing that it was their duty to put their lives on the line for him._

 _The next morning, Team Tazuna found themselves in a standoff atop his very creation meant to save his town._

" _Copy Nin Kakashi, I'm honored to see you again." The smirking nukenin wearing cow-themed camouflage had his head wrapped below the bridge of his nose in bandages but you could tell he was enjoying his moment in the spotlight. He had his zanbatu held up against Tenten's neck and the younger mask-wearing shinobi standing on her other side had a number of senbon pressed up against the skin of her neck from behind._

" _Wish I could say the same, Zabuza Momochi." All of the Genin in Team Tazuna tensed._

" _Ah-ah-aaaaaaah! Everyone should just relax, and we'll wrap things up here real quick like." Once no one darted off across the bridge, Zabuza beckoned with his free hand._

" _Send the bridge builder over. I need to get paid so I can be on my way." After a few tense moments, Kakashi gave a heavy sigh before shoving the nervous and blubbering Tazuna forward. He made it half way before exploding into a cloud of smoke._

 _Their first plan, to use a henged clone, didn't get very far as senbon littered the doppelganger before it could cross the semi-complete structure._

" _I thought you were a man of honor, Sharingan no Kakashi. It seems I'll be leaving then." Kakashi tried to stall for time to come up with something viable._

" _Surely there can be something we can agree to. It doesn't have to be this way." The Nukenin laughed._

" _What way? You mean the way involving me beating you in a match of wits, Kakashi?" His laughter the second time around was anything but friendly. "You had your chance. I guess we'll have to cross blades next time old boy." Gai tensed preparing to charge and Zabuza pointed a finger his way making him freeze on the spot._

" _You really must want her to die now." Kakashi realized that the situation was deteriorating._

" _You know we can't give him up!" Zabuza shrugged uncaringly._

" _Not my problem. See ya 'round, old boy." They started to back away when Tazuna's voice rang out._

" _I'll go!" Everyone turned to face the tired looking old man. "It's not fair that her young life should end for mine."_

 _He began walking forward. With a defeated look into Kakashi's sole eye, the old man smiled then soberly walked to his death. He paused when a senbon struck his shoulder, but it was a minor wound. Hissing through his teeth, he stopped halfway and waited until the masked Kiri nin walked forward with the bun-haired girl for the exchange. He smiled at the teary-eyed kunoichi before shooing her along like the loving grandfather he could be. She wasn't much older than his grandson, for that matter._

 _He never made it to the far end of the bridge. As Gai and Kakashi prepared to dash off to retrieve him, a kunai flew across the divide and struck him in the throat. Tazuna fell to his knees then gurgled and choked to death on the bridge he vowed to give his life in order to build._

 _The masked nin dashed off to reappear next to his master having completed his task. Zabuza's smile never waned._

" _Our business is done, Kakashi. No hard feelings?" Kakashi's hands tightened on the kunais that magically appeared in his grip._

" _No, no hard feelings at all." The cyclops raised his head band revealing his red orb with three twirling tomoes. "You're going to die today so I'm feeling pretty forgiving." Suddenly both sides were alert and preparing to charge when the oddest thing happened._

 _Everyone heard the sound of clapping, a steady rhythmic beat divided by a quiet moment of space as short, stubby hands worked their way apart before slapping fleshy palms together again and again and again._

" _Gato?" Zabuza could only spare a quick glance but the arrival of this midget of a fat man sporting the expensive suit and a crown of orange hair extending in random directions was a surprise. So was his contingent of authentic samurai mercenaries, a Jounin equivalent leader and four initiates. Zabuza grimaced in distaste._

" _Well done, Zabuza. Well done indeed. You got the job done and saved me the need to pay you to boot." Zabuza's frown was pretty clear at that point._

" _You dirty bastard!" he spat out from underneath his wrappings. The fat man merely cackled with glee._

" _Come now, surely you expected this? Do you know how expensive you nukenin shinobi are?" he happily chirped out as he motioned to the smirking ronin who were easing out their blades with practiced thumbs._

 _"These guys work for much more reasonable rates."_

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Team Tazuna – Kai!_

"From there, things devolved into a free-for-all. We tried to exfiltrate while Gato's fledgling samurai engaged both shinobi forces. During the scuffle, we saw Zabuza and the ronin lead severely wound each other. Gai and I were able to kill two of the lesser ronin and remove our team from the situation before serious injury could occur. Unfortunately, we've no idea what the status of remaining combatants are."

"Thank you, Jounin Kakashi," Iruka piped in. Everyone turned to the trio in the hot spots. "Is there anything you wish to know before we release Mr. Hatake?" The hand signs started flying from two of the hopefuls.

29666: [Anticipated number of bandits in Gato's employ?]

29877: [Status of non-hostile morale in country?]

29666: [Loyalty of hostile forces?]

29877: [Availability of adaptive infrastructure?]

29666: [Status of friendlies?]

Everyone else turned to look at the still silent member of the trio to see if he had more to ask but only taciturn silence met their glances. Kakashi took the break in hand signs to answer verbally.

"In order, we estimated just over a thousand thugs and bandits in his employ, none of which possess significant combat power other than maximum density. Morale in Nami is broken and the people are unlikely to rise up unless an organization supports them against their oppressors. Hostiles appear to be loyal so long as money, booze, and female entertainment remain available to them. There isn't much for you to scavenge from the land as anything helpful has been either consumed or appropriated. As Gato's men aren't much for fishing, there is some relief available there. Finally, assume no friendlies remain; Tazuna's family was our only support base and you can guess where those ties lie now."

The two active initiates bowed to the Jounin before turning their eyes back to the table.

"Your handler for this mission will be Agent Hebi-002." Naruto's teeth clenched as Anko stepped forward. He was expecting to have to work with her at some point, but this was… unfortunate.

"She will provide you with the particular mission details from here on out." The old man stood and was joined by the entire panel.

"Good luck, soldiers." All of them body flickered away leaving _Hebi_ and Dragon. The snake ANBU stepped forward looking none too pleased.

"I'll keep this easy. You work for me, roaches. Your world stops with me. Disobey my orders or give me shit, and I'll kill you myself and worry later about whether or not to bury you or leave your carcasses for wild animals." Her ANBU masked panned all three faces.

"Our mission is to assassinate this Gato person. We will infiltrate Nami proper. We _will_ remain unseen. We _will_ achieve the mission and leave without a trace. Questions?"

The talkative ones immediately began signing for things like Rules of Engagement, limits of acceptable collateral damage, and Rights of Conquest. _Hebi_ ignored them all.

"None? Good. We have a five-day window to get this done. Let's get moving. "

~III~


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** There are literally thousands of fics available to read for the Narutoverse alone. Among those, there are a large number of very talented writers. One such writer, **slythefoxx2** , has several to choose from. "Seals are Easy, People are Hard" is one such story. He has graciously allowed me to co-opt some of his work on sealing, which is phenomenal and deserves just recognition. I think some of the concepts blend well with the work I started in "Nature of the Beast" which were planned to be imported here. If you've read his work, you'll know it when you see it.

Some of you are going to have to learn to be a little patient. I've added some content because it made sense to do, but for every request I've answered there are at least a dozen more that I have not. Answers will come. I promise.

There is one question I'm going to throw up here because most people asking about it (or annoyed with it) have not read the plot string I put in nor the review questions with the CRA piece very closely. The Council is grasping for control, whatever control they can get, on a powerful shinobi they've maligned for the vast majority of his short life. The CRA is just another bid for control. The poll asked, "IF Naruto should fall victim to the CRA…" I've never touted this story as a Harem. I was curious to hear what the majority of my readers thought but never promised that this would become a harem piece. As I responded in one particular comment, harems are difficult to do well, and I've only read a very small handful that have managed to do so. I'm not even happy with the relationship pairings in my first story, _NotB_ , so there's that.

What you are seeing in _No More_ are normal expressions of romantic interest between a "good guy" and young ladies that would like to stake a claim, or at least partial interest, in that "good guy." Despite his emotional baggage and mental damage, Naruto (in my fanfic) still has it in him to be a good guy. He's not infallible with women, however, as he knows next to nothing about how to interact with them. If you haven't picked up on that in my writing thus far, here's a quick summary of how our hero is doing in the lady department:

Akimi, as far as he's concerned, is lost to him and she was his first "real crush." His time with Hestia, was all initiated by her but she isn't leaving Bell for some flashy sports car she knows isn't sticking around and has said as much, which was provided in a brief monologue I wrote with Naruto. There's more to Eina but it's in that letter he's been carrying in his jacket pocket, so you'll have to wait for that. Anko has flat out denied him (in the most brutal manner possible I might add) and Kurenai is happily stuck on Asuma (who knows if they'll work out yet since they're both chicken). He's sweet on Tenten but she hasn't done more than tease him a bit so who knows where he stands with her. Ino is back and forth so often he has no idea what the self-admitted Sasuke fan is thinking (remember, he was chatting it up with Tenten when that happened, so he has no idea she's passed on Sir Duck Butt). When it comes down to it, the only woman he's had clear, consistently positive interactions with is Hinata (and he has said in my story that he has an idea that she likes him back).

That doesn't mean that he's a cinch to snag the Bluenette. As always, he could still royally screw it up. That makes me wonder, how did Ino's chat with Hinata go? Oh yeah, I haven't revealed that yet.

As always, don't assume anything and back to the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 15: Loose Ends**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _"I'll keep this easy. You work for me, roaches. Your world stops with me. Disobey my orders or give me shit, and I'll kill you myself and worry later about whether or not to bury you or leave your carcasses for wild animals." Her ANBU masked panned all three faces._

 _"Our mission is to assassinate this Gato person. We will infiltrate Nami proper. We_ will _remain unseen. We_ will _achieve the mission and leave without a trace. Questions?"_

 _The talkative ones immediately began signing for things like Rules of Engagement, limits of acceptable collateral damage, and Rights of Conquest._ _Hebi_ _ignored them all._

 _"None? Good. We have a five-day window to get this done. Let's get moving."_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konoha, ANBU Warrens ~**

" _Single file on my 'Six' 'til we clear the barrier. From then on, a staggered 'Lima' until we stop for the day. Trip-Six, you got anchor! I'm pushing hard through to daybreak so keep up or get left behind, roaches!"_

Naruto was trying to process as much information as possible. Emerging from the emptied briefing chamber, the team of three unknowns was keeping close tabs on the cloak directly ahead of them. Light through the underground passages coveted by the ANBU was slim to nonexistent as the tunnels were dimly lit every ten meters by glowing runes. Those without night vision ran the risk of being dumped in a blind turn.

Naruto could both see and feel Ino directly in front of him as the seals whizzed by in blurry streaks, her chakra spiking wildly along with the adrenaline coursing through her veins. If she didn't calm down, she was going to be spent long before they reached the coast. That was going to be a five-hour run at best.

The tunnel jogged left then began a steady incline, their snake-faced leader not breaking pace until she reached a wide juncture. Here the hallway spread out into a three-meter by three-meter kill box, a round room with sliding panels for entries and exits. At even intervals around the barren space, Naruto could just glimpse murder holes through the reinforced walls.

Murder holes allowed defenders to pepper infiltrators with flying death while the wall protected them from anything less than military-grade paper bombs. With nothing in the room to hide behind, they were aptly named and he counted an even ten of them before two ANBU appeared before the far wall.

"Hebi-zero-zero-two, AA-1096-Sierra-0241, immediate."

The nearest agent drew two kunai then paced sideways around them in a large circle. A dome light clicked on above them bathing the foursome in an eerie white light as he visually checked over them. How he could see anything with their cloaks was a mystery to the Uzumaki initiate but their inspector nodded his concurrence to the other agent standing a distant guard. A voice chirped through a hidden speaker system with a terse, "Approved," and the two guards vanished as the exit panel slid away revealing another dark tunnel.

 _Hebi_ was off like a shot the moment she had space to slip by, her three "roaches" hot on mamma roach's tail.

The tunnel continued upwards before it split off then leveled. Before too long, the polished stonework gave way to earthy loam and a ladder leading up into a hollowed-out tree. Slipping through the heavy brush covering the entrance, the four emerged into the heavily wooded treeline some distance from Konoha. _Hebi_ was up into the branches like her cloak was on fire, the three hopefuls scrambling to catch up and reduce the accordion effect as they matched her pace while taking station.

With _Zero-One-Three_ moving one arm's length to his left and _Eight-Seven-Seven_ (Ino) moving one arm's length to her right, Naruto had a clear view of Anko's back. It really didn't do him any good to stare at her since he spent most of his time trying not to faceplant on a branch or smack into a tree in the dim light of the new moon. He could see just fine. It was their pace that made letting his concentration slip dangerous.

Crashing into a branch at speed because he misjudged a leap meant broken ribs at a minimum.

If the pace through the tunnels was harsh, the pace set through the trees was blistering. Their leader made up for her minimalist vocabulary through direct action and the four sailed through the trees non-stop.

Naruto's mind drifted into a near-Nirvana state as he blocked out all unnecessary sound. His hearing and smell encompassed his immediate team as his newly developed sensory abilities reached out for chakra signatures, any signature he could find. For the first three hours, all he found were small villages on the edges of his range and the occasional hunting group camping for the night. Soon even those faded away and he focused on his team solely.

Anko was cruising along, her heart at a steady pace not far from her jogging pace. She could probably keep this up for an entire day. Oddly enough he detected flickering "ghosts" of more ANBU shadowing them, almost like after images directly behind.

' _So, they're either watching us or they're here to make sure we don't screw it up too badly.'_ It seems their limited communication served another agenda.

The unknown shinobi behind Anko was faring well, his breath deepening every fifth or sixth exhale. He'd most likely make the sprint and be fine enough to fight after, his chakra focused up from his feet through his legs and lower back to reinforce his body from the impacts of each landing. It was called "sheathing," a basic technique taught at the academy that allowed shinobi to perform feats of physical renown. For a shinobi, this was commonplace.

His concern grew when he focused on the back and shapely legs of his Team Ten teammate. Her body literally glowed with chakra, every muscle fiber sheathed in a thin layer of light blue energy. She was wasting more chakra than she could recycle, and her breathing was coming in ragged gasps. She would most likely not make it without assistance and he could not bring himself to let her fail. He didn't know why she was here, but she was from his team and she reflected on them all. He would need to speak with her about conserving chakra but, for now, he had a solution available.

Glancing up, he saw _Hebi's_ mask returning to the front after looking over her shoulder at the struggling kunoichi. Her fatigue was making her sloppy and her leaps were shattering bark with each landing making more noise than necessary.

It looked like it was now or never.

Naruto pushed forward slowly, his thrusts bringing him even with _Eight-Seven-Seven._ Her labored breathing was sending gouts of steam up through the eyeholes of her mask, so he waved a hand to catch her attention. When her face flickered over in surprise, another sign of fatigue if she hadn't even noticed his approach, he made a fist and held it out to her.

 _Hebi's_ mask turned around once more to watch the interplay.

 _Eight-Seven-Seven_ appeared confused until he made a fist with his left hand, pushed the knuckles together, then held them there with a slight shake to emphasize the connection. Once again, he extended his right hand to her matching her leaps every time she touched down on a branch minus the exploding wood.

Tentatively, she mirrored his gesture and reached out and it was like a dam burst. Chakra flooded her system filling her coils, the rush warm like a bright sunny day on a cold winter morning. It was calming and rejuvenating, her fatigue washing away as pushed enough of his chakra to fill her two-thirds full, as best he could tell from his inaccurate sensing ability.

The girl almost whimpered when he took his hand away and fell back into position but signaled a quick thank you as her focus returned.

When Naruto looked up, _Hebi's_ mask met his gaze and she nodded almost approvingly before turning back around. Almost.

~III~

Raimei Higurashi raised his hand to knock gently on the closed door of his beloved daughter. His heart lay heavy in his chest as he listened to her ragged breathing through the heavy wood and tried to put on a smile she could hear in his words. At least she wasn't sobbing anymore about how she'd gotten someone killed. It was an improvement at least.

"I've closed the shop up early today." His voice sounded hopeful. "I thought," he knew he was reaching here but he couldn't just let her wallow in misery, "maybe we could go for a scoop like we did before you got too old, you know."

He listened intently but couldn't hear anything, not even her sniffles.

"I'll leave you be now. Just know," oh how he longed to have Hyuuga eyes right then, "just know that I'm never too far if you need me, Honeybear."

He'd called her that ever since they picked her up from the orphanage and to the grizzled old warrior she'd always be his little Honeybear. Leaving one last sigh against the painted barrier, the old shinobi that used to terrorize the field of battle with his great mallet turned to the stairs again. Three steps down and he heard the lock to the door click open and a puffy-eyed girl with unspooling hair buns shot out of the room latching onto his thick neck.

It took some time to calm her down enough to talk it through but with enough patience and rocky road ice cream, Raimei was able to get the whole story from her. She'd tried to escape from two high-class nukenin but was captured then traded for their client. The client died and they had to flee Nami, a blurry run she didn't even remember. It was a mess.

Worse was the fact that Tenten blamed herself. If she'd kept her composure, "…as a true kunoichi should!" they might have had the time to take care of the threat. Instead, she blamed herself for blowing it on the first night.

Raimei was never one to sugar coat things. The ice cream was doing plenty of that for them. No, instead he told her she was right. It was her fault for running off with a head full of steam in hostile territory and getting taken as a bargaining chip. It was her fault that old man Tazuna's death, whether he volunteered of not, was all on her.

It was brutal honesty and she needed to hear it.

After the shock landed on her but before she could break down again into unrecoverable hysterics, he also told her that she would have to find a way to deal with the loss and move on. Shinobi don't always save the day. Sometimes clients die despite the efforts of even the elite shinobi. It's a risk we take every time the headband is donned. It's a horrible reality and yes, it will hurt for a while, but you have to press on and learn from your mistakes.

"The good guys don't always win, baby girl. The difference is that we don't stop trying." Smiling around a mouthful of chocolate and marshmallows, they touched foreheads and spent the rest of the day reworking her opponents from the island looking for weakness "just in case."

~III~

A little over five hours later, Team _Hebi_ reached the coast just south of Coral Village. The morning sun was just beginning to brighten the horizon. It would be another hour or so before the morning's panoply could shoot across the sky's canvass and the village was only beginning to stir with its early-rising fishermen.

Instead of turning northward and into the village proper, _Hebi_ sharply turned right and streaked along the sandy coastline, her sandals churning up very little sediment leaving minute impressions wherever her feet trod. Her initiates immediately bogged down as they attempted to maintain her murderous pace.

With the briefest of glances, she chuckled then began to pull away from them.

Naruto scoffed at her callousness. This was brutal even for Anko.

Grasping for something, anything to solve the quandary, Naruto began waterwalking trying to spread out his chakra in flat planes to sustain his weight. It was dangerously inefficient and, to anyone else without his reserves, most likely lethal when already exhausted. To his surprise, it immediately alleviated about eighty percent of his issue. It wasn't sandwalking per se, but it did give him back most of his mobility.

Glancing back at his teammates as he shot by them, he noticed _Zero-One-Three_ hopping in short bursts of ten meters or so. He would tire eventually but it doubled his movement speed and allowed him to keep _Hebi_ in sight. Ino was burning through whatever chakra from his gift she had left in vain as her knees kept pistoning madly, the force driving her limbs into the soft sand most of the way up her shins.

Naruto sighed silently then swooped in grabbing her right wrist in his right palm and her left wrist in his left. Lifting upwards as firmly but as gently as he could, he plucked her from the sand like a child's shovel stepping under her arms and draping them over his shoulders and across his chest. She goggled and sputtered but didn't yell in outrage.

He was never gladder for the gag rule during this mission and could almost feel the heat of her blush underneath the hooded mask on her face.

Pushing more chakra to his feet to compensate for her added weight and gear, he released her arms to grab hold of her thighs (another sputter combined with a quick intake of air and her hands clutching at his cloak) before shooting off after the other two. He tried to ignore the feel of her legs wrapped around his waist focusing instead on breathing and chakra flow. Catching sight of their other teammate ducking into a hollowed-out section of rocky cliff, he shot in immediately afterward releasing his hold (reluctantly) on Ino's curvy limbs.

"You're going to want to work on your pitiful skills _IF_ you get picked up, _Eight-Seven-Seven_. Can't rely on your teammates to rescue you all the time." The sour team lead turned to walk farther into the maze of carved out stone not looking back but expecting them to follow all the same.

When she'd gone in far enough to hang a quick left, her gloved palm brushed against the ANBU swirl engraved in the wall of a particularly small section of the cave.

"Welcome to your first ANBU Travel Cache. There are dozens of these strategically located around Hi no Kuni, and perhaps a few in other nations. If you three ever make the cut, you just might learn where some others are squirreled away at." She pushed chakra into the symbol releasing a supply store of water skins and dry rations.

"Watch rotation is me first, while you guys scarf down some grub, followed by the Gimp, Trip-Six, then Bunny-boy." Naruto swore _Zero-One-Three_ growled, but it was too low to hear even with his hearing.

"Normally the watch rotation would shift so that enemies don't use your watch pattern as a weakness against your team but you," she thumped a finger square into the middle of Ino's armor plated chest, "need to build up some spunk. It's not fair that Trip here gets stuck with the crap watch because you're in no condition to fight after a short run. Get some sleep after your watch then get it in gear, _Princess_."

Oh, if she only knew how appropriate that nickname was since the girl's father called her that almost religiously. Still, she'd come a long way since taking her training a bit more seriously. Perhaps Shika could help him tailor something for her to help her the rest of the way.

The three of them sized up the small cavern and picked a corner of it to claim as their own while the perpetually-angry snake stalked off to watch the entrance. It was big enough for six to rest out of sight of the beach provided no one lit a fire.

~III~

Anko's stomping gate smoothed out into her normal silken glide once she turned the corner. She stopped just inside a nook near the entrance and leaned against the wall, her eyes taking in the soothing waves of the shore.

Her orders were simple. Push them to see how much they could take but don't break them. If at all possible, make them complete the mission that, in all honesty, she could do herself. They needed to know what the kids were capable of. ANBU leadership needed to know if they had what it took to make the cut.

As she churned her task over in her mind, her thoughts drifted back to the three youths. Their identities had intentionally been kept from her but the one she called Trip-Six seemed familiar. His mannerisms sparked something in the back of her mind, but the concept slipped away every time she reached for it. It wasn't like with Zero-One-Three. Everything about him screamed "whiny brat" to her and she hoped to hell he ate a paper bomb in their first scrap. She didn't like him and that meant automatic lack of trust.

"You know I could have finished this up already and been halfway home by now."

A familiar mask faded into view next to her, the fully-encased leader of the ANBU Division folding their armored arms across their chest somewhere inside that voluminous cloak.

"Whaddya think, Commander?"

The voice modulator made the Commander's voice so garbled she had to listen to make out anything, but years of practice helped.

"I think you need to focus on the task at hand. You will have your hands full with the arrogant one so be extra sure to not let them die from their own stupidity." The Commander began to fade out again but Anko's sharp intake of air stopped them.

"Yes, Hebi?" The hardcase ANBU assassin swallowed hard before answering.

"I did what you asked." The shrouded figure turned their head to stare at the clearly uncomfortable kunoichi for several torturous minutes.

"Yes, yes you did." It turned away almost immediately, their body fading once again into the dark lines of the seaside cavern, as their mechanical voice bounced back to her through the cave's weird acoustics. "However, you are not free yet, Anko-chan. Not quite yet."

No one could see the tear sliding down the snake ANBU's left cheek under her mask. Silently, she turned back to the soothing sounds of the coastline and cursed the angry decisions of her youth.

~III~

[Thank you.]

Naruto glanced up at the still huffing Yamanaka, signed a quick [Welcome] back to her, then held up his fist for another fist bump, which she happily returned. When he pushed just a touch more chakra into her exhausted body, the girl nearly moaned out loud in pleasure, her knees buckling ever so slightly.

She couldn't see him smiling under his mask as he watched her breathing even out. Deciding to let her reaction slide, he got set up to sleep first. Naruto could eat when he got up for watch without the fear of being found out. Settling down in his corner patch, he placed his back against the wall and tilted his head forward to rest chin-to-chest. Sleep took him almost immediately.

" **We need to talk about the company you keep."** Naruto smiled as his eyes opened, his head coming up to meet the gaze of what appeared to be an annoyed fifty-foot fox.

"Since when do you care about the company I keep?" Naruto strode to one side of the dark cavern that reflected his mindscape and stared thoughtfully at the bleak décor.

" **Since it starts impacting my already miserable quality of life. I don't have a great deal of room and maggots like you want to start renting out my oh-so-cushy loft. I am not a fan."** Naruto grinned even as he cocked his head in the direction of the angry bijuu.

"Maggot? Did I get promoted from _meatsack_ and missed the notification scroll?" The snarky chakra entity spun ninety degrees in its cage before thumping down in the wet chamber with its furry back facing the smirking blond.

"You don't think I'd neglect you, do you?" He could see the large entity's head raise up with a huff.

" **You've done so quite handily over the last fifteen years. Why stop now?"**

Naruto _tsked_ softly then closed his eyes to better concentrate. Changes came small at first, as changes often do, but they began to pick up steam as he grew used to the mechanics of altering his mindspace.

"I'm not fifteen yet. Still have until Thursday." He wrinkled his brow up in concentration.

The first thing to change was the general walkway leading up to the cage. A strip of the ground an arm's length in width appeared, the hard stone compacting violently downward to form a rectangular trench leading away down the corridor to a pool Naruto remembered from his earlier visits. Inside the cage, the trench split off into two directions following just inside the bars as it collected water to run it off into the new irrigation system. A second trench broke off to feed through the sluice gate off to the side. Inside the cage, Kyuubi's body rose as the floor bowed near the middle causing the murky water to run down into the trenches and away from the cranky fox leaving him elevated on a dry patch.

At this point, the fox spun back around to watch what was going on.

The room outside the cage expanded both outward and upwards, the walls lightening from a dingy charcoal grey color to a rich blue the color of midnight. White crystals sprouted along the edge of the room and began pulsing softly with whitish blue, soft pink and pearl hues giving a soothing atmosphere to the chamber.

" **What are you doing anyway?"** Naruto glanced back to see the fox's head tilted in curiosity. It was almost cute.

"I'm making room for a new guest." The disgusted **"Pah!"** made him chuckle just a bit. Turning back to the left side of the room, the wall starting about two meters above the floor receded backward enough to make a shelf, the left side of the massive slab or dark blue stone gently curling downwards to form a ramp. At the very top, a bowl of the same material formed large enough to hold Opal, the inside filling with a soft-pink feather-stuffed cushion.

Naruto stepped immediately to the right and created another bowl without the giant pillow just below that shelf and to the right. Above it, the head of an _Umihebi_ emerged from the wall face and the stone creation opened its jaws wide. Steaming water poured out to fill the bowl until a smaller spout on the side of the bowl began trickling out into a circular pool directly below it. That water trickled out to a larger pool a few meters from the roost, the level filling up to the edge but never overflowing no matter how much water trickled in to it.

" **Ugh… lizards!"** Naruto snorted but then swayed a bit where he was standing. Glancing up into the crystallized roof, he smiled and vanished from the room.

Behind his mask Naruto opened his eyes to look into the facemask of _Eight-Seven-Seven_ only inches from his own, her hand gently shaking his shoulder. Lifting his head, he rose from his lotus and gave her a "thumbs up" before traipsing off to stand his watch.

~III~

Ebisu stepped out of the public baths wrapped in a towel and feeling refreshed. He always felt newly purged of the lingering filth coating the city with that monstrosity running amok. One could never be too careful after all.

Entering the locker room, the elite instructor paused as two vest-clad shinobi appeared barring his path. He didn't need to turn around in order to detect the two behind him.

"Can I help you?" Outward, Ebisu was projecting undisturbed calm. Inside he was frantically trying to devise an escape, his mind generating and discarding dozens of scenarios. This much attention could only mean that he'd been found out and that bode ill indeed. As a strong proponent for the core basics of shinobi philosophy and protocols, he tried to vary his daily routine as much as possible despite his one true weakness being the public baths.

He enjoyed a soak in the onsen, the cleansing power of the steaming water a balm to his daily frustrations and that weakness had led to this moment. He was blocked off from his locker and surround by several Special Jounin from the T&I capture squad wearing only a towel.

' _Damn you, demon brat!'_ He had started his onsen habit once a week at the behest of an acquaintance in the _The Brigade_ , someone with both a strong mutual hatred of the beast and a strong love for the older traditions. Ritualistic cleansing in the hot springs was said to be good for the spirit and inner harmony, beliefs that had contributed to his now thrice a week habit of soaking in forty-degree Celsius carbon dioxide water.

Ebisu shook his head sadly giving the impression that he was disturbed by the event. He was merely jogging loose his mental review of hot spring benefits, something he could delve into further when he was free of his current predicament. His thoughts were further interrupted when a bundle of garments hit the floor at his feet.

"We've taken the liberty of gathering your things for you and removing any 'pesky' items that may cause you injury. Please dress yourself as we can't have you traumatizing women in the village walking about in only a towel, now can we?" His voice was too relaxed, almost emotionless and it sent a chill up Ebisu's spine.

Ebisu was further affronted at the insinuation but dressed all the same. He took excellent care of his body and was considered handsome by some. Aside from the rude behavior, this presented him with another problem to solve. No doubt they'd combed through his belonging and taken all of his weapons even the... Yes, they found the hidden lock picks in his bandana. _'Curse them!'_

Before he knew it, the proper instructor was being paraded through the heart of town enroute to Hokage Tower.

"That should do it," this voice coming over his left shoulder.

Without another word, his four escorts turned off the main drag a few blocks shy of their destination. The two behind him stopping near the entrance of the alley as the two in front maneuvered to keep him in view. Shocked at their odd behavior he froze for a second only to receive a sandaled foot in the back as he stumbled to regain his footing.

"So, I'm to be murdered like some dog in the streets?" Silence was his only answer as they moved further into the darkened dead-end strip. Ebisu's mind was racing, and he took several deep breaths to try and still his thoughts. He would need calm to come out of this alive. Perhaps he could overpower one and take his-?

A bundled parcel struck the ground next to his foot. He saw his weapons enfolded neatly among a cloak and backpack. He turned back to view his "captors" with no small amount of suspicion from behind his trademark sunglasses.

"We will delay our report of your escape for one hour, no more. Through that dumpster is a _Root_ escape tunnel that will provide you safe conduct from Konoha. I suggest you stay well clear until our master's ally is prepared to make his return." Ebisu's eyes widened here as he had no desire to learn what any of that meant. Too many secrets made one expendable all to often for his liking.

His eyes grew bigger when one of his escorts calmly drew a kunai while his partner turned and casually struck the armed man in the face. Then the striker turned around presenting his back to the kunai-wielding shinobi who promptly implanted the weapon into his partner's back in a non-vital area.

Ebisu scooped up his belongs and fled for the dumpster with all the speed he could muster. He'd just been made a nukenin and had no desire to pay a visit to Ibiki knowing that he'd never survive long enough to meet the man.

Anyone inspiring that type of emotionless loyalty was not a person he wanted to meet with, nor anger.

~III~

Bathroom breaks and breakfast were wrapped up in the early evening while _Hebi_ summarized the day's priorities. Pulling out a crudely hand-drawn map of the main island, their temporary squad leader highlighted several target areas of interest.

"Gimp, check out Tazuna's house. I either need proof of life or proof of vacancy. If it's abandoned, it just became our base of operations." Her finger tapped a circled location near the southwestern edge of the island and the mostly-refreshed Genin bobbed her head once in acknowledgement.

"Bunny, you get the village. We need hard INTEL on the number of Gato's goons still lurking around there, if there are identifiable patrols, access points, egress points, potential bolt holes, the whole kit and caboodle. Got me?" The silent figure nodded sharply. His mask was still focused on the larger map as he took in every detail he could.

"Trip-Six, you drew the shit straw again. Sorry little buddy." Naruto's eyes flicked up to find her eyes behind the mask and he withheld a groan. He knew that twinkle in her chocolate browns and she wasn't sorry at all. He looked back to the map as her finger swept everything around the business sector where she believed Gato was holed up.

"You get to search the business and administrative buildings here as well as the surrounding countryside. Troop strength, key nukenin or ronin still hanging around, points of access, Gato's location, anything and everything we need to storm the place tomorrow night." He nodded even as his heart sunk. Even with no scale to go by, it still sounded like a square mile of RECON.

It was going to be a long night.

"Our join-up spot is here," she hissed tapping a small lake halfway between the Naruto's assignment and Tazuna's house. "We will assess INTEL and plan our strike. You have until two in the morning to get the job done." Her mask swept all three listeners.

"One shot to get it right campers. Don't screw up and don't die!" She rose and rolled the scroll up before stashing it.

"If what I saw coming down here is true, Trip you're the only one that knows the water walking exercise even if you haven't perfected it yet." It wasn't spoken like a question, but she was looking for confirmation. He stroked his thumb along the left side of his jawline.

"Good. You are responsible for getting Gimp across and I'll take Bunny with me. Mount up and let's get going."

 _Eight-Seven-Seven_ stepped behind _Six-Six-Six_ as he squatted down. With him not bringing a backpack, hanging on was a simple process barring the tanto sticking up between her armored breast covers. Ino tried not to think about that image or the way the sheath rubbed between her thighs as her arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. Despite her best efforts to picture Naruto's face, this hunky shinobi underneath her was making her heart race.

' _Focus damnit! Mission first, boy catching can wait!'_ That lasted until he rose smoothly, and her calves locked in front of his waist.

Both Ino and Naruto turned to see _Zero-One-Three_ waving his arms angrily and slapping his forearm guards together in the academy sign for [Negative] over and over again. _Hebi_ merely laughed at the repeating pinging from the metal covers.

"I never said I was giving you a free ride so you can get your jollies off on me, cockroach!" One of her hands shot out and grabbed him by the cloak. He almost shrieked as the much larger and stronger ANBU agent jerked him off his feet and shot out over the water, _Zero-One-Three's_ legs waving in the air like a trailing flag.

Naruto shook his head once before he began channeling chakra to his feet. Testing the water's surface to make sure he could hold the extra weight, he started off at a slow trot gradually increasing his pace as he grew more comfortable with her on his back. He discovered that it was easier to run than to walk as his feet required less contact with the water's surface, which meant he had to channel less chakra to stabilize his body. Soon he was streaking along matching _Hebi's_ pace as they sprinted across the strait between Nami and Hi no Kuni.

~III~

With everyone on dry land (and _Zero-One-Three_ recovered from his parasailing experience), _Hebi_ cut them loose to start their respective reconnaissance missions. The three probationers leaped away in shadowy blurs.

~ [29877] ~

Their landing left her very close to her target location. Three hundred yards or more led her to the underside of the stilted multi-level home, a small dock running up the far side and to the front door. It looked peaceful enough until she heard heavy footsteps thumping along the wooden path leading to the family pier. Slipping up underneath the home, she jammed her body into the crease between the underside of the house and the sandy earth beneath it. With a hand on a kunai hilt, she waited and listened in on a highly aggravated conversation.

"C'mon, you gotta be sick of this crap too!" It was a pair of thugs in mismatched leather clothing.

"Not much we can do about it until they find the daughter and her son. They might come back so we wait. Gato's orders." The speaker was middle-aged and scruffy looking. His partner wasn't much younger, but his striped battle robe looked about two sizes too small.

' _Good for her to get away!'_ Ino fought the urge to pump a fist at the small victory but her celebration was cut short by the continued whining of the first thug.

"We could be hanging out in the brothel with a bottle each. They're not gonna come back with us lurking around." He got a devious look in his eye. "Hey! Hey, if we disappear for a few days and then return, they might come back so we can catch them!" The older partner seemed to consider the argument for a minute before conceding the point with a brief head nod.

As he turned away from the water and plod along back up the walkway, his suddenly cheerful friend slapped him on the back in victory as they headed off to town.

She counted to thirty before moving around to the other side of the home and leaping up to the second-floor overhang. Slipping inside one of the many broken windows, she sighed quietly at the destruction. Even worse was that it wasn't limited to a few rooms of the house. There was damage everywhere, the worst of it on the ground floor as seen by the trashed kitchen and living room. Anything of value had already been claimed.

Ino cleared the ground floor then headed back upstairs to make sure there weren't dead bodies or prisoners lurking in a bedroom.

"Oi! Whoever you are, you should just come out now and save us all a bit of trouble!" She froze having just rounded the corner at the top of the stairs. The voice reminded her of the pair she'd seen earlier. She could just hear the whiny one snickering down below.

"Nice plan! We catch us one of them Leaf shinobi and we've got it made! Gato might let us back into the fold for real with Zabuza gone." His teammate shushed him so he could listen.

"No sense running. I got your scent now and can track you anywhere on this island." Something about the way he said "scent" made her shiver as her grip tightened on the kunai handle in her right hand.

~ [29013] ~

He was free of that horrible lot. Finally, he'd get to prove himself without having to worry about those failures trailing behind him all the time. Let that "Six" guy the snake bitch was cooing about take care of the weak female. He had a mission to accomplish.

He sighed happily and worked his jaw underneath the mask. _'Ugh! How come no one ever talks about how bad your breath can get under one of these things?'_ He was looking forward to a good toothbrushing just as soon as he could take the damnable thing off.

Traveling through the trees made short work of the distance to his target area, his mind cataloging the terrain and the distinct lack of people leading up to the village proper. Every farm he passed was dark and deserted. The whole island felt abandoned.

Altering his course to the north, _Zero-One-Three_ landed on the unfinished bridge giving him enough height to see down into the heart of the village. Below him lay the discarded tools of the long-absent construction workers. In several spots, he could see freshly added stains of blood where bodies had fallen. Without the bridge builder, there was little chance of this thing ever being done.

Looking down the street from his perch, he saw plenty of Gato's men staggering about. Some traveled in pairs in the direction of a hastily-built building glaring with gaudy strings of light and poorly-played shamisen music. Those not traveling with other bandits had women of various ages cowering beneath their arms in obvious terror.

It appeared that the three shinobi vices were in full swing here.

Leaping back into the trees, he worked his way around the village center grabbing a hasty count not bothering to travel into the obvious brothel. There were maybe fifty men staggering from building to building, nothing his team couldn't handle even with the failure of a girl on it.

He chuckled out loud this time. Even with her poor skills, she was better than the girls from his academy. Maybe he could help her a little and become her "hero."

"Yeah, she might do," he grunted out loud.

It didn't matter to him that he'd spoken since there wasn't anyone around to catch it. He chuckled one last time before landing on a thick branch to get a closer look at something that caught his eyes.

Standing in front of a run-down shack two houses back from the main road was a figure in grey robes sporting a dark grey hakama. Slung into the left side of his obi were two sword handles, his hair in the unmistakable cut of a samurai.

 _Zero-One-Three_ lingered for about an hour before another person wandered into the picture. With a quick bow to the robed woman, the lean figure pulled aside a cloth hung over the door to allow her entry. Ten minutes later, she emerged with the help of another identically-dressed male before scurrying off in the direction she'd come from.

"Any change?" the first ronin inquired. A sad shake of the head came back amid the new person's cracking back, his stretch drawing out his pleased groan.

"No, the fever has broken some but persists. The old woman claims tomorrow for sure." The first ronin grunted but if it was a positive, negative or just an observation _Zero-One-Three_ could not tell.

"Tomorrow it is then." The first guard nodded to his partner before stepping inside the hut. The newcomer took up his spot and stared lazily about, his eyes taking in the dark corners and cubbies of the poor neighborhood.

One he would try by himself but there was no guarantee that two ronin would play by the rules. _Zero-One-Three_ slowly backed away from the area before heading off into the night. Two streets over he came across the first ronin no longer hidden inside the small hut but standing proudly in the street with one hand on the hilt of his katana.

He cursed softly. The guy must have snuck out the back of the hut and circled around.

"Did you think we couldn't sense some shinobi rat like you skulking about?" _Zero-One-Three_ slid quietly out of the tree and landed ten paces or so from the smirking sword wielder. Lifting one hand to casually draw the tanto slid sideways into this sash, the silent shinobi slid his feet apart and prepared to do battle.

The ronin's thumb slid the crossguard of his blade forward two inches easing the weapon in its sheath. It was going to be a good night after all.

~ [29666] ~

Naruto's trip to the far side of town went off without a hitch. There weren't many people out and about late at night, so he had the run of the area.

Once the main section of the village was behind him, the jinchuuriki gently swung back around to the business district his feet stopping a hundred meters from the main road. Taking stock, this was the only section of town with any lights on.

The entire block had been confiscated. Armed patrols were spread out wandering aimlessly, most fisting bottles of wine or sake. There were a few glancing about nervously but their numbers dwindled as more and more alcohol flowed. Something was bothering them. Those that weren't chasing booze were chasing whatever woman they could find; bandit or civilian was irrelevant.

He wanted to rage at their debauchery.

He wanted to howl at their villainy.

He wanted to sigh because he couldn't say a damn word or do any of the above. Stealth was the whole name of the game.

Without seals or words, four clones shimmered into view dressed the same way. [Forest, West Quarter, North Quarter, East Quarter. Zero body count. Go!] The four clones vanished.

Naruto jumped off from his perch and paralleled the one and two-story stone buildings of the business district until he could find one close enough to suit his purposes. Dropping down to a thicker branch, he used another silent jutsu, a henge, changing his appearance into a large alley cat with dark fur. He had to pause for a moment as his vision swam momentarily. The initial change was always chakra intensive and to become such a small animal took enormous amounts of chakra. Once the change was made, maintaining the henge was easy.

Swiftly moving from the branch to the roof below it, he wound his way among the closely situated buildings thinking how poor this Gato's security was. All of his guards were on the ground either too drunk or distracted to care.

Using his keen senses, He moved about from rooftop to rooftop until he located the tallest building in the cluster, a three-story one with a signpost out front proclaiming the Mayor's office. It was a simple matter to get close enough to peer into one of the upper story windows and see the orange-haired monstrosity responsible for all the pain and suffering.

Apparently, he was celebrating his total victory. Turning away from the window, he set about trying to get an accurate headcount of the mercenaries standing between their group and the target. Since there were no walls to impede their approach, the hardest part would be avoiding detection.

He glanced back down to the street and sniffed in disgust. Another hour or so and even that wouldn't be a problem.

He'd swung around half of the business compound when his body jerked taught as the memories from one of his clones rushed back to him. _'Wounded shinobi; senbon; cave in the deep woods; trapped mother and son matching Aono family description.'_

He bolted from the sturdy stone structures and dashed into the treeline, his henge abandoned the moment he was clear. By the time he'd followed the clone's expanding search path to the cave's entrance he'd been joined by his three remaining clones.

Barely standing upright at the entrance of the cavern was a masked shinobi in a torn and bloody battle robe. Long and bedraggled hair framed a Kiri hunter-nin face mask. In one hand the figure shakily held a bloody and chipped kunai. In the other were three senbon knuckled in a very bloody and trembling fist.

Below their fist was a growing pool of red liquid.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto raised his hands with fingers spread wide and began slowly stepping forward to indicate himself as non-threatening. The injured shinobi wasn't buying it unfortunately and the bleeding hand clutching senbon weakly came up across their chest.

"You… shall not… take them," came the weak threat.

For the first time, Naruto cursed the "no speaking" rule and figured this was going to have to go the hard way. Four copies of _Two-Nine-Six-Six-Six_ darted forward as the shinobi's bloody hand flicked out with as much strength as they had left.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Just Between Us Kunoichi**_

* * *

Ino Yamanaka strolled with purpose across the business quarter. Everywhere about her folks were opening cart stands or store fronts and small children were running around chasing one another and giggling like banshees. For some reason, her feet stopped carrying her along as she watched the tiny ones playing shinobi or samurai as was their wont.

It was pleasant to watch but having a child wasn't on her priority list at the moment. When Sasuke was the dream to chase, the thought of helping rebuild the Uchiha Clan was always at the top of the list but that was his dream. She had another focus now and helping him reach his goal meant that a family would have to wait.

You can't have a family with a dead guy and a poor ANBU soldier often ended up dead. She'd need to make sure he was the best out there, untouchable. Perhaps he'd help her reach her goal in the bargain. A family could be a reachable goal after that.

The smells of the market quarter broke her out of her daze, one particular smell she was searching for to make her peace offering. A short detour later and she was headed across to the training grounds, and carefully boxed present gently gripped in her immaculate fingers.

This needed to go well. She needed to not make an enemy this morning no matter how difficult the conversation was going to be.

She took a whiff as she walked. Against her now normally healthy eating regimen, the lure of sweets hit her more often than not and she could afford to…

No! She needed these for something else. Maybe she'd get one on the way home.

The streets thinned out to lined paths through the parks. Soon enough those gave way to marked training fields, the vast majority of which encircled the village and extended far beyond the walls of her home. Before she wanted to accept it, Training Area Eight came into view and Ino spied Team Eight going through their sparring matches. She took a moment to watch them work, her inner analyst coming to the forefront as Ino started dissecting their styles.

Shino was methodical, the picture of conserved effort. No wasted motion in defense, no wasted breath as he sidestepped or _Substituted_ out of range. His interplay with his _kikaichuu_ swarm made her skin crawl. _'How did that not hurt?'_

Kiba on the other hand was all over the place. Either he had phenomenal endurance of abysmal self-control. She got her answer once he popped a soldier pill and flicked one to his dog, Akamaru, who went from snowy white to scarlet in his shaggy coat of fur. She rolled her eyes then looked over at her mark for the morning, the Hyuuga heiress.

Ino was already intimately familiar with the girl's Gentle Fist. Four years of spars in the academy tends to make you very familiar with the girl responsible for every bruise you went home with during your zero wins against her family's martial arts. Those hits stung and she was annoyingly fast.

Right now, those eerie blank eyes were eyeing her curiously as their sensei, Kurenai, stepped away to referee the two boys trying to kill each other. In all honesty, Kiba was trying to kill Shino and failing horribly but things were getting a bit out of control as the dog-nin drilled his way through another tree.

Ino stepped away from the treeline and held up the box for her newest frenemy to take.

"Can I help you, Ino-san?" The girl looked puzzled. That was good. She needed to keep her off solid ground and escape before the fingers could start flying.

"No, Hinata-san. I just wanted to make an offering of peace." The bluenette's head cocked to the side even as her nostrils flared. She could smell what was in the box and her smile seemed sincere.

"I was not aware that we were at war. Are we?" Ino's smile was small and sad at the same time.

"No, but I'm afraid we will be when I tell you what I came to say." Ino's hands were trying to find something to latch on to. Kami, she felt idiotic doing this over a boy that hardly spoke to her. She felt worse when the Hyuuga's smile grew a bit wider.

"You've fallen for him." It wasn't a question. She _knew._

"I'm going to take him and make him mine." Her brave front was the only thing keeping her from turning into a blushing moron.

"Good luck with that." Ino was trying to decipher where the stuttering fool was since she could find no trace in Konoha's ranking royalty. She sounded too confident for her own good and it unnerved Ino just a bit. Was she really that far behind?

Turning around and walking calmly from the training field, her mind worked over her current standing with a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed Genin.

~III~

A very pleased Hinata sat down and gently pried up the taped sides of her morning's victory feast. That first tender bite was going to go down so sweetly knowing that her greatest opponent for Naruto's love was-."

Her eyes bulged as her Byakugan flared frightening her teammates just as they were walking over to ask her what their conversation was about. As wave after wave of killing intent rolled off her petite frame, Hinata's head snapped upwards to some unseen enemy and she roared out her rival's name officially acknowledging their war.

" **IIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** When her eyes snapped back to the open box, all she could see was the empty spot where the first cinnamon roll was missing.

Hinata's entire team stepped backwards to make sure they were out of Jyuken range.

~III~

Halfway through the Market District of Konoha, men, women, and children all paused and the inhuman howl of rage brought everything to a sudden stop. With a devious smirk on her face, Ino Yamanaka kept walking towards her family compound.

First blood had been drawn.

~III~


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Time to wrap up my version of the Wave Arc. I hoped you've enjoyed the ride. If you didn't, that's okay also. There are still a few more reveals left in this chapter but I'm sure some of you have already guessed who "Mr. Bunny" is in the story. If you haven't, this chapter should make it painfully clear.

To the unknown Guest that asked about Ebisu and Danzo, yes, Danzo is a bastard but he's a bastard that recognizes loyalty to Konoha in other bastards. Despite Ebisu stepping way out on the ledge, he's willing to help that particular rat-bastard escape now in order to scoop him back into the fold later. When he's Hokage.

I feel like I rushed this chapter and I'm not sure if I'm happy with the end product. I may have to step away for a bit and get things back into perspective with my story line. Oh well...

As always, enjoy the story.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 16: The Shinobi with No Name**_

* * *

 **~ On the Shores of Hi no Kuni**

A very determined looking cyclops Jounin stood along the churning waters of the Hi no Kuni shoreline. One eye lay focused on the half-completed bridge an old man gave his life for and his normally lazy eye took on a very energetic gleam. He kept telling himself this time would be different.

The familiar footfalls of his long-time rival preceded the knowing palm that fell heavily upon his left shoulder. A receptive nod of the head was all the Beautiful Beast of Konoha got but it was enough. They both had unfinished business in the Land of Waves but this time they weren't alone.

Behind them stood ninety-eight other shinobi of the Leaf ranging from Jounin to Genin, including Teams Seven, Eight, and Nine. All of them had the same determined look in their eyes.

Nothing of Gato would remain.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Nami no Kuni ~**

~ [29877] ~

 _Ino cleared the ground floor then headed back upstairs to make sure there weren't dead bodies or prisoners lurking in a bedroom._

" _Oi! Whoever you are, you should just come out now and save us all a bit of trouble!" She froze having just rounded the corner at the top of the stairs. The voice reminded her of the pair she'd seen earlier and she could just hear the whiny one snickering down below._

" _Nice plan! We catch us one of them Leaf shinobi and we've got it made! Gato might let us back into the fold for real with Zabuza gone." His teammate shushed him so he could listen._

" _No sense running. I got your scent now and can track you anywhere on this island." Something about the way he said "scent" made her shiver as her grip tightened on the kunai handle in her right hand._

Something wasn't right. There was no way these two bumpkins could have detected her unless…

The skinnier one mentioned Zabuza being gone. It wasn't a far-fetched idea to think that two underling shinobi couldn't blend in with regular brigands hoping to get a free pass. If Zabuza really was gone, they would need to go somewhere. Why not stick with a guaranteed payday?

She padded sideways down the hallway trying to make as little noise as possible. Stealth really wasn't her thing, but they'd all had some type of training back in school. She almost made it to the far bedroom when the floorboards creaked making her freeze.

Down below, Kentaro smiled hearing the protesting wood planks on the second floor. "Go get whoever it is. I'll go outside in case they try to escape." The weasly one, Mimizu, nodded showing his rotted grin as he drew a kunai and stalked quietly up the stairs.

By the time Ino heard the metal rasping of his kunai, she'd resumed her silent padding to the bedroom closing the door until only a sliver of an opening remained. Setting herself into the furthest corner from the entrance, she set her fingers in the only jutsu she could pull off without words and waited.

Her heart beat was pounding in her ears and her whole body broke out into a cold sweat as fear and adrenaline both spiked. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. Gritting her teeth, the kunoichi kept reciting in her mind what she remembered from the academy lessons on captured kunoichi and resolved that she'd be damned if these two losers took her in any way shape or fashion.

She heard the same board creak just outside the room and then the door began to slide open. As soon as she saw his greasy face, she let fly. _'[Shintenshin no Jutsu!]'_

Outside looking up at the windows on the second floor, Kentaro heard a thud and a strangled cry. A second later, Mimizu threw up the window then reached down and hefted up a masked shinobi by the scruff of their cloak. Grinning from ear to ear, he swept the front of it open to reveal the hard chest plating of a female shinobi.

Down below, the pock-marked face of Kentaro Minami smiled knowing he'd get to have a little fun before they turned their prize over to Gato as their entrance fee. Rubbing his hands together greedily, the masterless nukenin ran back into the house and up the stairs to the last bedroom on the front side of the house, his eyes fixating on the slender body now lying spread eagle in the middle of the floor.

"Good job, Mizu-kun! We're-." He froze wondering why his arms and legs wouldn't respond. There was a sharp pain in the back of his neck that he couldn't explain and he was having trouble with a bunch of liquid in his mouth making it hard to breath.

Just like that, Kentaro Minami passed from the world as he fell face down onto the floor, his face splattering on the tatami between a pair of Leaf shinobi sandals. A kunai, his partner's own in fact, was wedged deep into the space between his vertebrae and the bottom of his skull.

Without pausing, Mimizu took a running leap head first out the still open window before realizing he was now in control. Frantically he scrabbled in mid-air trying to force his body over to complete a somersault and land on his feet. He mostly made it only twisting his ankle as he landed off-kilter.

Ino bolted up right and drew a kunai from her thigh holster before hopping up to glance outside the window. She couldn't belief how filthy the nukenin was. _'Ugh! I'm going to soak for two days in the onsen when we get back.'_

She went out of the window in a much more controlled manner than Mimizu landing softly as he rolled away in a panic struggling to get good footing with only one solid leg to stand on. Charging straight into him so as to keep him from regaining any equilibrium, Ino kept superimposing the image of a large bull-like creature with horns over the snarling face of the Kiri nin whose body she'd inhabited only a few short seconds ago.

"You bitch! You made me kill-." His tirade was cut short as he frantically blocked a kunai strike for his throat. As the hellcat struck again, Mimizu fell backwards onto his posterior lashing out with his good leg. He missed her stomach and received a slash across his calf for his efforts and cursed again.

Then she was on him after sending a foot into his exposed groin. The filthy pervert howled in pain and tried to grab onto her arms.

Ino started running down the same target list she used on the minotaur in the dungeons. She got in close and stabbed him in the side. As his body jerked in that direction, her right hand ripped the kunai free while flipping it into a reverse grip and bringing it down towards his chest. The pinned nukenin was frantic and sacrificed a forearm rather than get stabbed the heart. Before she could pull out the blade and continue, the Kiri shinobi grabbed her wrist locking her hand in place then lurched up to smash his forehead into her mask.

Ino stumbled from her perch and landed on her rear as the wounded Mimizu yanked the blade out of his arm. Spinning away and up to her feet, Ino pulled out a second weapon and began circling the limping shinobi.

It wasn't like a minotaur. He was intelligent enough to know fear of his impending death and he was smart enough to make a sacrifice or two in hopes of winning the fight. Ino grit her teeth then bobbed and weaved her way to close the distance even as her bleeding target started taking wild swipes with his stolen weapon to try and keep her at bay.

He lurched with the short blade and she swayed to the side slicing the backside of his arm with her own. The disgusting lech cursed again and tried to slash her face only for the annoyingly fast girl to duck underneath and stab him in the stomach before retreating to set her feet again. He was getting desperate and sped up the pace of his retreat switching arms to continue his terrified defense.

As Mimizu tried to swipe at her hands, he stumbled on that weakened ankle and Ino charged surging a ton of chakra to her legs as her foot lashed out and caught him across the temple. The dazed shinobi dropped like a rock, his temporary kunai flying from his grasp as his dark eyes rolled up into the back of his skull.

Ino landed her full weight onto his back and slipped an arm under his neck wrenching backwards until she heard his spine protest with a crack. Mimizu was just conscious enough to start begging, pleading for his life. He was promising to go straight. He was imploring the young kunoichi for just one more chance. He'd promise anything if she'd just show mercy.

Ino remembered the graphic images she'd seen in his brain during the short time she'd taken over. The number of times he'd raped some defenseless woman in Nami alone during this occupation and what he was planning to do with her body when he saw her seated on the floor.

Mimizu liked to choke his victims from behind.

She rammed the kunai into the back of his head with a vicious thrust, her breath coming heavy from behind her mask.

For several minutes she sat there on the dead man's back sucking in large amounts of oxygen before rising with shaky legs, grabbing a handful of his filthy clothing and dragging him off into the trees fifty or more yards from the house. Trudging back from the woods, she went upstairs and dragged Kentaro's body in the same direction leaving both at least fifty yards further into the deep woods. Rummaging through their pockets, she found a couple storage scrolls and nothing else. She'd ask _Hebi_ what they could do about them but for now she needed to take care of something else.

Ino rose from the two corpses, trudged another ten paces over to the nearest tree, lifted the bottom of her mask just enough to clear her mouth and purged what little remained of her ration bars into the forest loam. Then she emptied whatever bile was left until it was just painful dry heaves left.

Rinsing her mouth out with water from her canteen, she re-secured her mask and staggered back to the now abandoned house, her head panning left to right as she scanned for any more threats.

~III~

Up in the trees just out of eyesight, a _Hebi_ clone watched impassively as she trailed the rattled kunoichi. She was ever so slightly revising her personal opinion of the girl and nodded with approval at her first kill, correction, kills. Perhaps this one could be saved.

~ [29013] ~

 _One he would try by himself but there was no guarantee that two ronin would play by the rules. Zero-One-Three slowly backed away from the area before heading off into the night. Two streets over he came across the first ronin no longer hidden inside the small hut but standing proudly in the street with one hand on the hilt of his katana._

 _He cursed softly. The guy must have snuck out the back of the hut and circled around._

" _Did you think we couldn't sense some shinobi rat like you skulking about?" Zero-One-Three slid quietly out of the tree and landed ten paces or so from the smirking sword wielder. Lifting one hand to casually draw the tanto slid sideways into this sash, the silent shinobi slid his feet apart and prepared to do battle._

 _The ronin's thumb slid the crossguard of his blade forward two inches easing the weapon in its sheath. It was going to be a good night after all._

"Do you have a name, rat?" The samurai's drawing hand casually reached over and withdrew the blade showing his confidence against a single ninja. _Zero-One-Three_ took stock of his opponent's posture and grip as his shoulders relaxed a hair.

' _He's young, not much older than me. Probably hasn't been using that katana long. Either he doesn't know Iaijutsu or he's so confident he thinks he won't need it.'_

"You don't need to know my name where you're going." The masked fighter drew out his tanto taking up a beginner's stance sliding his left foot forward a meter. The baby-faced ronin smirked before sliding effortlessly into his first position.

The two there for several minutes as the wind blew across their impromptu dojo. The small intersection would have to do. Something suddenly struck the ronin as funny and he chuckled, irking his masked opponent. The swordsman could almost see the peaked nerve above the shinobi's hidden eyebrow.

"What is it?" came the inevitable question.

"Oh, I find it odd that the practice of _tsujigiri*_ is about to be enacted legally in our duel. I shall have a great story to tell once I return home."

 _Zero-One-Three_ _tsked_ loudly then charged only to be met halfway by his opponent. Katana rang out against tanto and the masked nin chuckled loud enough for the surprised ronin to hear. Their blades were evenly matched.

The ronin rolled his wrists to allow the smaller blade to slide along its length before heaving upwards with both arms. The tanto arced above his head and he saw the dark clothed arms of his opponent shoot upwards as a result. Grinning, he dropped to one knee and brought his sword across his body looking to disembowel his shorter target.

He felt the blade bite into flesh just as a puff of smoke clouded everything. Leaping backwards to avoid an opportunistic strike, he glanced down to see a log clutching onto the sharp edge of his weapon and grimaced.

' _Ninja dogs and their trickery.'_ He kicked the inanimate object free then began searching for his prey. The soft padding of sandaled feet behind him forced his eyes wide as he tumbled forward into an elementary roll, his katana sweeping across his back to the satisfying _clang_ of sword against sword as he maneuvered to gain some distance and bring his sneaky enemy back to the fore.

"You are nimble. Let's see if we can't slow you down a bit."

 _Zero-One-Three_ grunted as the ronin picked up the pace. High block, side sweep, reverse side sweep, duck, parry, riposte. He was rolling through every basic maneuver he knew trying to get inside the bigger guy's guard. Both were channeling chakra to increase their speed and strength but the ronin only seemed to do so in conjunction with each swing of his blade. Was it a way to conserve chakra?

He couldn't match the surge. It took too long for him to even out the flow of his sheathing, so he kept it going through the whole fight. Perhaps it was a samurai technique? As he started dodging and sizing up the samurai's strikes to conserve energy, he made a mental note to develop something similar.

The ronin's eyes glazed over as he settled into a low stance. [ _Shisururōzu no Mai!_ ] the fledgling samurai all but roared. Then he blurred.

Only the fact that _Zero-One-Three_ had his sword up in front of his body saved him from an unfortunate decapitation. The barrage of strikes that followed rang off metal and ceramic-weave body armor equally. _Zero-One-Three_ surged as much chakra to his entire body as he could and frantically attempted to keep pace.

A quick assessment would have given the ronin one successful strike for every four swings but not because the better-trained reflexes of the masked shinobi kept him ahead of his opponent. The moves were scripted, not custom tailored to the opponent so his shorter foe had an easier time in avoiding strikes he could not block. Additionally, shinobi were incredibly adept at avoidance and the sweating ninja was doing his best to backpedal and zig-zag in reverse attempting to flee his pursuer.

His luck failed, however, and his feet failed him depositing the now panicked Leaf nin on his backside just as the ronin's victorious roar coincided with a wicked overhead slash. _Zero-One-Three_ could see his death clearly in that moment as everything seemed to slow to a crawl. Reflexively, the grounded nin reached up in desperation as his hands clapped against the sides of the now painfully slow-moving blade. As the sound of flesh slapping against metal echoed out in the grave-silent neighborhood, everything came to a sudden stop.

The ronin blinked in dumbfounded disbelief. Underneath his mask, the shocked shinobi reciprocated the sentiment. Then he vanished in another hasty _Substitution_ replacing his body with a half-filled barrel of water.

Both warriors shrugged out their stiff shoulders, the ronin panting a bit more at the end of their latest exchange. Oddly enough, the junior samurai seemed less confident even as he charged into another clash.

The ronin's katana cut across in a straight cross-body blow attempting to separate the shinobi's head from his neck. _Zero-One-Three_ leaned back just enough to hear the zing as it passed by at a single blade's width. The shinobi had to lift his lead leg and step backward as the ronin dropped to one knee and brought the weapon back across at thigh-level. _Zero-One-Three_ was beginning to feel the burn, so to speak, but that wasn't the biggest problem.

People's heads were starting to pop up in windows and door cracks. Villagers were starting to take notice and the fight was beginning to drag on.

At any rate, he needed to end this now before it drew the wrong attention or worse, his ANBU babysitter. On the next clash, _Six-One-Three_ stomped ruthlessly on the ronin's instep smiling when he heard the satisfying crunch of bone. The man reacted as expected and completely dropped his guard as a novice kenjutsu practitioner might do suffering such an honorless attack.

 _Zero-One-Three_ jumped back enough to gain room to fly through a series of handseals before hissing out, [Katon: _Goukakyū no Jutsu!_ ] _._ The street erupted into flames as the explosion of the fireball mushroomed into the air at least two stories in height.

The grinning Konoha nin ignored the gasps from frightened onlookers and focused on the dissipating ball of flame two body widths in diameter. When the maelstrom of flame and heat passed, what remained was a human-sized crater surrounding a badly burned human body. Most of the ronin's clothes had crisped away, his skin charred down to the bone in most areas. His arms were the only exception appearing undamaged and pristine, an oddity he couldn't explain.

It didn't matter anyway. The masked killer approached the sizzling pile of flesh and seized his katana and sheath, the latter of which was nearly burnt to a worthless husk.

He could have a replica made to replace it later. He had his first belt notch and that was all that mattered.

He was so proud of himself that he missed the narrowed pair of eyes watching his escapades from the shadows.

~ [29666] ~

 _Barely standing upright at the entrance of the cavern was a masked shinobi in a torn and bloody battle robe. Long and bedraggled hair framed a Kiri hunter-nin face mask. In one hand the figure shakily held a bloody and chipped kunai. In the other were three senbon knuckled in a very bloody and trembling fist._

 _Below their fist was a growing pool of red liquid._

 _Taking a deep breath, Naruto raised his hands with fingers spread wide and began slowly stepping forward to indicate himself as non-threatening. The injured shinobi wasn't buying it unfortunately and the bleeding hand clutching senbon weakly came up across their chest._

" _You… shall not… take them," came the weak threat._

 _For the first time, Naruto cursed the "no speaking" rule and figured this was going to have to go the hard way. Four copies of Two-Nine-Six-Six-Six_ _darted forward as the shinobi's bloody hand flicked out with as much strength as they had left._

It cost him a clone as the four of them rushed in. It would have been him getting skewered if he wasn't as smooth with wordless substitutions utilizing them. The masked nin had been aiming for him and, even nearly comatose as they were, their aim was remarkably good.

Even as the unnamed clone puffed away into an angry cloud of smoke, the two remaining clones grabbed the bleeding ninja by the arms only to stop in gaping disbelief as their new captive passed out from fatigue and blood loss.

"Leave him alone!" Naruto looked up at the sound of the child's voice, his eyes narrowing behind his mask.

' _That must be Tazuna's grandson, Inari. That would make the scared looking woman behind him the daughter. No use trying to win them over.'_ He turned his back on them and focused on the half-dead shinobi bearing Kiri marks on his mask.

Four more puffs of smoke revealed more copies of himself. Sticking to the "silent is deadly" restrictions of the test, he began issuing orders.

[You two, food. You two, herbs, heal. Hurry.] Once they were gone, he created two more clones, one going off to stand watch by the entrance and the other wandered over to peer into the various piles of crap stored in the back of the cave with its terrified occupants. It wasn't very difficult to avoid the child's wild swings (someone had given him a kunai) so he peered around until he found a recently used tea pot resting over an old fire. Wetting his fingers, he touched the side to reveal that the liquid inside was still warm. Picking up one of the available cups, he poured a fresh round and brought it back over to the three working to undress the wounded shinobi.

The mask came off first and was set gently to the side. Naruto checked the face, neck and scalp for any bruises, cuts or scrapes before moving on casually noting how good looking the male ninja was. The two clones shared a nervous glance.

They gently laid him flat on the ground but held on to the arms; many a shinobi had played possum to gain the upper hand and this could be much of the same. It would be a tricky thing to administer first aid to an actively resisting enemy.

Naruto began carefully peeling off the green haori and heavy turtleneck sweater, being extra careful around the bloody cuts across the chest, right arm, and right hip. He was so focused on examining the ninja's wounds that he missed the obvious signs until the individual was almost completely bare.

' _Odd, someone tried to administer first aid.'_ He began gently peeling back the cloth wrapped around the ninja's upper body to gain access to the heavy cut slashing from the upper right shoulder to the left lower rib cage. To the clone returning with the tea, he passed a blood pill along with his mortar and pestle from his med kit. While the copy prepared the concoction, he generated one more clone with the task of finding something to hold water in. Before too long he had most of what he needed for some decent first aid and he turned back to his patient and froze.

The blood wasn't the issue. The issue was when he realized that the wraps around the shinobi's chest weren't bandages but a kunoichi's chest wrappings and those round things weren't swollen sores but the petite breasts of a small chested female. He stared noticing the gentle swell of her flared hips. If he'd lowered the pinstriped skirt a bit more he could probably see-.

He stared some more. He probably would have kept staring had one of his clones not smacked him over the head prompting him to get to work. He also promptly ignored the chuckling woman in the back of the cave.

From there on it was all clinical. He cleaned the wounds as best he could with water heated from low-level chakra manipulation. By the time everything was clean, two of the clones sent out to forage had returned with herbs and roots. Grabbing the o-ren and Bo-fu root (for fever and pain), he separated a few leaves of each and sent the tea clone off to prepare a fresh batch.

Cleansing the girl's wounds with anti-septics, Naruto checked once more to make sure she was still asleep then began tending to the worse cuts on her left arm and hip. Wrapping up each wound as he went, he was halfway through stitching up the worst of her chest when the girl twitched and her eyes fluttered open. Trying to keep his calm, Naruto paused only for the briefest of moments as he resumed his craft work.

She took two minutes to assess the situation before her eyes locked onto the face mask of her unknown savior.

"If you weren't currently saving my life, I'd murder you where you stand." He was trying to ignore the jiggle of her small peaks and bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

"Nothing to say for your brazen behavior?" He could only shake his head and hope his face wasn't glowing like a beacon underneath his mask.

"You do pretty good work though," she croaked out as her dry throat caused her to cough and wince. His hands hovered over her torn ribs until her fit subsided. Not wanting to re-sanitize everything, he finished up the remaining sutures then traded out the bloody implements for the first cup of tea.

Lifting it to her lips, the girl's mouth pressed into a thin line and her eyebrows narrowed. Huffing out a dejected gush of air, Naruto carefully lifted the bottom of his balaclava until his mouth cleared enough to take a sip. He regretted it almost immediately and his whole body shuddered, his mouth gagging and convulsing at the flavor.

Trying to suppress a giggle, the kunoichi waited to make sure he didn't keel over dead before accepting the bitter drought. While he couldn't gag out loud, the unnamed Kiri nin made up for it. Once it was all gone, something requiring several attempts on her part, he passed the cup off for the next dose drawing her attention to the piles of herbs his clones gathered while she was out.

She nodded and called out the names of each herb correctly indicating she had deep knowledge of holistic remedies.

Naruto held up the ingredients in the now full cup, mimed grinding them up into the tea then held up two fingers before miming a drinking motion. She smiled weakly and nodded that she understood. Naruto leaned forward to check the pallor of her skin to make sure the blood pill was doing its job.

"Ahem." He moved back a hair to lock eyes with her. "I'm a bit cold. If you're not going to wrap me back up, could you at least cover me?" She could see his blank stare through the eyeholes of his mask. She could also see his amazingly blue eyes and felt herself falling into their shadowed depths. Given her compromising state of dress with the mysterious shinobi straddling her hips, the dangerous kunoichi blushed despite herself.

With his eyes closed and his hands clapped together asking forgiveness, forgiveness she granted with a giggle and a nod, he got back to work. Pulling out a fresh roll of bandages, _Trip-Six_ motioned for the clones to lean her forward so he could begin wrapping up her chest and right shoulder.

It took a long time to get his blush under control. As he helped her redress, the clone at the entrance jerked upright then vanished meaning all of the Narutos repeated the same motion. The huge ball of fire in the poorer section of the village more than justified the reaction. Naruto, the original, almost swore aloud.

When his remaining clones darted inside depositing a half dozen fish and four freshly killed rabbits, Naruto gathered up his belongings, bowed once more to the still prone kunoichi clutching the fresh tea in her no-longer trembling hands, then rushed off to see if he could salvage their mission before Gato got wind of what was happening.

He missed the Kunoichi's whispered threat to make him take responsibility for his actions in the very near future.

~III~

It was close to midnight meaning he had roughly an hour and a half before he needed to start heading to the meetup. Flying through the trees with his eight clones, _Trip-Six_ began working out the beginnings of a plan as he tore through the foliage like the Kyuubi was hot on his trail.

They were blown. They had to be. There was no way people close to Gato didn't see that mushrooming gout of flame shooting in the air. If it wasn't a problem at this moment, it would be once people sobered up and started talking about it. It was only a matter of time.

And once they started talking about it, their mission was out of time and out of luck. The smarmy bastard would reinforce himself and any shot at taking him out would vanish like cinnamon rolls in front of a certain pretty Hyuuga heiress.

~III~

Back on the Hi no Kuni shoreline, a certain bluenette sneezed delicately, her face blossoming into a beautiful shade of red as her favorite sweet and a certain blond hunk fluttered through her mind.

~III~

He needed to end this now.

It took less than ten minutes to get back to the right building. Scaling down the far side, he selected a window at the opposite end of the hall away from the room he saw Gato partying in earlier. Slipping a senbon into the seam of a window, he flicked the lock open and quick as ghosts the squad of doppelgangers slid inside.

It was a trophy room. Stacks upon stacks of valuables and mementos were piled up leaving narrow aisles and walkways to get around it all. Naruto's eyes twitched in anger. The little bastard was profiting from the suffering of an entire village and this was going to end tonight.

He pointed out two clones at random. [Inventory.] The clones nodded as he handed a sheaf of paper and a pen to the pair. The rest of them filed out of the room and down the hallway with a vengeance.

All of the stealth was pointless but he kept it up. He had felt eyes on his back the whole time but there were too many chakra signatures to get a good fix inside the district.

Naruto cracked open the double doors leading to the office converted into a bedroom. He found both bodyguards passed out drunk and the fat man in question asleep in the obnoxiously large canopy bed.

A flick of the fingers sent six clones off to the guards. Two picked one apiece and clamped their hands over noses and mouths. The other four grabbed onto suddenly flailing arms to hold them still. When they stopped flailing, the clones holding onto their breathing apparatus gave a nasty twist snapping their necks with a satisfying crunch.

[Find Treasure.] His henchmen fanned out hoping that the stingy bastard wouldn't be predictable. Their hopes were undeniably dashed against the rocks of reality finding that he'd taken over the Mayor's safe.

[Bring Him.]

Two clones descended on the bed, one burying a meaty fist into the stomach of the sleeping tyrant who awoke to a world of pain. Yanked out of bed by the second clone, the rapidly blinking eyes of the still hungover billionaire tried to focus on the odd people milling about his personal bedchamber.

His eyes swept over the unmoving bodies of his personal guard with their heads laying at unnatural angles and his bladder released. The two clones, one holding the back of his neck and the other holding on to his left arm, glanced down in disgust before manhandling the Gato over in front of the safe. When one rapped a metal covered knuckle on the safe door, the self-proclaimed overlord frantically nodded his head as he shuffled forward to tumble through the combination.

The real Naruto slid over to the window overlooking the courtyard. Most of the bandits below were still out in their drunken stupor but a few had begun to gather and gesture out where the fireball originated from. Glancing at his watch, he saw zero-one-fifteen. He needed to speed this up.

Catching the eye of a clone standing by the dead guards, he signed a single word: [Clothes]. As soon as the safe popped open, the clone in question slapped the pudgy man's dark brown suit against his chest without a word.

"B-B-B-But I never wear the same-." _SMACK!_

The clone's open palm silenced him and nearly spun him around three-sixty. With a meek bob of the head, Gato, the man who was king over all he surveyed just that morning, shed his piss-filled night clothes and, for the first time since he found his calling in life, wore a suit he'd worn the day previously. Grumbling to himself about how he was going to make these shinobi pay for the insult once he met up with those uppity ronin he'd paid good money for, he stood up tall and snugged his tie into place.

He would look good regardless. As he turned to face his persecutors, he felt the quick breeze across his throat and then the room tumbled uncontrollably. He wanted to comment on how odd that felt but no sound came out of his mouth. He blinked in confusion as he caught sight of his shoes noticing there was a scuff at the tip of one.

He'd have to beat his atten…

The last thought he'd ever have in his life was how to belittle and demean someone he paid far too little for their services.

Naruto ignored the crumpling body and found a blank sheet of paper. He then set about making two storage scrolls. In the first, he stored Gato's head plus the contents of the safe, which consisted of large sums of money and several thick-bound ledgers. In the second, he stored roughly ten percent of the thick money rolls in Gato's treasure trove.

Rights of Conquest and all that.

Gato's body they quietly hung from the roof of his appropriated home and tucked off to rendezvous with the rest of his team. It would be many more hours before a bandit sober enough to look up would notice the fat man's corpse hanging upside and headless.

By then, it would be too late.

~III~

Naruto walked into the appointed clearing to see both temporary teammates standing next to _Hebi._ While _Zero-One-Three_ seemed full of his usual arrogance, _Eight-Seven-Seven_ seemed more distracted than usual, edgy almost. Something happened but she was trying to hold it together to the very end.

"You were almost late, _Trip._ Glad you could join us." She sounded a little too pleased with herself.

"Alright roaches and rats, show and tell time. Gimp, what's the status of the house?" Ino's head snapped up after a jerky start, her fingers clumsily forming hand signals.

[House secured. Two hostiles neutralized.] She held up the bloody storage scrolls she'd taken from their corpses.

' _Ah, that explained it. She'd killed her first human. It's not like killing the monsters in Istoria; humans don't vanish into dust so you can't see the consequences of your actions.'_ He knew exactly what she was going through as he'd fought with it years before in the slums.

"Good." _Hebi_ then did something uncharacteristic of her normal snarky behavior. She walked over and gently placed a hand on the girl's shoulder whispering something only for Ino to hear. He could see the girl's head nodding up until Anko broke the intimate contact. Evil Anko was back a moment later as if nothing untoward happened.

"Bunny, sich report." The masked shinobi sucked on his teeth in irritation then began signaling his "situation report."

[POSS Seventy-Five hostiles. Located samurai. Terminated One.] He hefted the war trophy to emphasize the point and received a fist across the mask as a result.

"Yeah, I thought that was you. You probably jeopardized our mission with that stunt. If we don't kill Gato tonight, he'll beef up his security and we'll never get close. Good job, _Shinobi!_ You failed utterly in the stealth-do-not-engage department." She growled down at the sulking figure sprawled on the ground and turned to Naruto.

"You'd better have good news for me including a fail-safe way to get to the bastard before he wakes up and hears about junior Firestarter's grand adventure."

Naruto blinked quietly for a few seconds then shrugged as he pulled out the one scroll that might save his hide. Unrolling it and praying that she didn't stab him, he pushed chakra into the scroll to reveal tons of money, several hardbound ledgers, and a head partially wrapped in a high-thread-count pillowcase. The orange hair sticking out of the top gave away the identity.

When he looked up to await his punishment next, he saw that she wasn't surprised. Anko was smiling under her mask. He could tell from the glint in her beady little eyes. As an afterthought, he handed her the inventory scroll his clones had compiled from the room they entered.

 _Hebi_ summoned a messenger snake and asked it to deliver the list to the Kakashi Hatake, chuckling greedily as the snake vanished in another puff of smoke.

Naruto found it oddly disconcerting how the serpent swallowed the scroll, the rolled paper clearly visible inside the bulging section of its body.

Ino sighed in relief hoping that this meant they could go home. Meanwhile, their mystery partner was choking on his own spit in disbelief.

[Saw flames. Assumed cover blown. Assumed our last chance.] Pushing chakra back into the hastily-made scroll, he re-sealed the contents and handed the scroll to the snake queen.

"Normally you know what happens when you assume but this time it worked in our favor. I'd call that good news." Anko reached into her coat and pulled out a long tube with a pull cord. Holding it high above her head, she yanked hard on the cord with the other and flare shot up into the night sky.

"C'mon you lot. It's time to see what all your hard work had bought you." She started walking off through the trees back in the direction of town, a very confused trio following in her wake.

~III~

Kakashi was surprised to see the green flare so early in the mission. Weren't they using Genin initiates for this?

Shrugging it off, he whistled for the other platoon leads and gave the signal. Hordes of shinobi bearing the symbol of the Leaf flooded the beach. Those that could water walk, did so. Those that could not, rode in boats being pulled along by those that could.

The wave of forest green death shot across the strait between Nami and Hi no Kuni and up the beach into the village proper. Like an angry horde of locusts, they converged on every hut, shack, house, or building. Like the angry hand of Kami, they struck down the evil and malignant taint of Gato's stench everywhere they encountered it.

Wherever a brigand, bandit or lackey of Gato hid, cowered, or dared to fight, they died screaming. The sole ronin defending his master fell to a horde of kunai, senbon, tanto strikes and jutsu. It was not a glorious final stand. He never stood a chance and his master almost immediately followed along in his death throes.

Those in the business quarter still sober enough to fight were routed. Those still passed out from alcohol never saw nor felt their deaths. This was a cleansing, an infestation purge in its purest form.

By the time the sun rose on the shores of Nami, the village had been liberated and civilians awoke to the confusing sound of freedom.

Upon the hillside watching a team of Konoha nins retrieve Gato's headless body to seal away, ANBU Team _Hebi_ observed it all as if it were a sidewalk puppet show.

"Remember that no matter whether you join us or return to normal shinobi duties, this is why we do what we do. You will never be famous unless your mission completion and skill instill fear into the enemy. No one will ever know what you do for Konoha or what you do for poor bastards like those down below. If you're doing this to make a name for yourself, you're in it for the wrong reasons and you should quit now before I end your miserable existence later." She turned to face the three youths staring up at her.

"Hubris is the fastest way to end up hanging by your feet from some village's roof without your head attached to your body." Without another word, she turned from the ridge and began walking back to the shoreline.

They had a long run ahead back to Konoha after all and she wanted a hot bath and fresh dango by next nightfall.

~III~

Kakashi was pleased with the wrap-up effort. Liberating the beleaguered village had been a rudimentary exercise in bandit clearing and was the only reason the Hokage allowed inclusion of the Genin from the rookie teams.

Allowing his eye to rove over to Team Gai, he almost smiled at the determined look on the face of Tenten Higurashi. She more than anyone else needed this release. He hoped their initial debacle wouldn't cause her to lose focus and fall from the ranks. She was a good kunoichi in his eyes.

Speaking of lost Genin, the Silver Cyclops raked his dark eye over the hillside wondering how his missing soldier was holding up. He should be back among them before too long.

A puff of smoke at his feet drew him from his own wandering thoughts and down to the dark green snake trying to hack up a slimy roll of paper. Reaching down to pick the soaked outer casing with a dainty grip of two fingers, he eye-smiled in appreciation and sighed as the tiny serpent vanished having completed its mission.

Anko really needed to find a less disgusting way to deliver these missives.

~III~

They were back standing at the Nami shore looking out across the strait between nations, _Hebi_ taking one last look at her three charges. Despite being publicly labeled as " _that sadistic Snake Whore_ ," she was beginning to worry about the mental state of the younger kunoichi.

"We'll cross back over to gain some distance from the relief effort and rest until noon. Get ready for a hard push home. I want to wrap up our final report and be done with you brats by supper time."

 _Eight-Seven-Seven_ started to protest in hand sign saying she had the strength to continue but the snake lead shot down her protests.

"Don't be reckless. You're running off of fading adrenaline and, at some point, that is going to fail you utterly. I don't want that to happen during a high-speed transit where you pass out from fatigue or lose it enough to smash into a tree. No arguments. Now mount up!"

 _Six-Six-Six_ assumed the position and the mentally and physically wiped Kunoichi nearly fell onto his back.

Naruto looked over his shoulder into the blank face mask of his rider as he rose gently to his feet, his hands hooking under her thighs with little reaction or protest from Ino. He knew something was off at that point when she simply turned her face to look away from him and gripped his cloak front in a clutch that would make Lee beam with praises of youth.

He kept his sprint across the wide band of water as smooth as possible enjoying his teammates flailing repeat of their initial journey over. A guy needed to get his entertainment when he could, didn't he?

This time he carried her all the way into the cave and gently set the girl down in her original corner, one hand gently cupping the side of her mask surprising the girl as her face flickered up to meet his. Her ice blue eyes seemed confused until she focused enough to look back into his eyes through the mask slots.

His incredibly deep blue eyes. _He'd been with her the whole time._

Naruto could see understanding dawn on her as he saw moisture pooling underneath her mask. Quietly raising a finger to his mask where his lips would be, he waited until she nodded then turned to face their team lead near the middle of the cavern.

"She gonna be okay?" _Hebi_ whispered in a surprisingly concerned tone of voice. They ignored _Zero-One-Three_ 's condescending snort.

[Unknown. Propose removing from watchbill.] _Zero-One-Three_ Immediately began to protest but was cut off by a palm to the mask. Trying to back away, he found that his mask was annoyingly stuck to the palm of her gloved hand.

Naruto raised an eyebrow under his mask as it gave him a great idea for making his homegrown martial arts even more dangerous. Her next question snapped his attention away from the grunting and flailing _Zero-One-Three._

"That's fair but how do you plan to fill the watchbill afterward?" Two clones popped into existence without seals or words and the snake lead nodded once. One padded out to the cave entrance and the other squatted down near where the two Genin were to be curled up in adjacent corners of their little cubby. The clones would allow the entire team to rest and provide redundancy. As the boy turned to head over to the girl's corner, his identity slapped _Hebi_ like a large fish to the face.

His never-ending stream of energy.

How he could burn chakra like no tomorrow and still have enough to keep feeding the weakest member of his team.

His unending ability to spam _Shadow Clones_ like rainbow-flavored candy, her personal favorite by the way.

The sudden realization also came with a pang of guilt. If it really was him, he knew who she was this entire time and gave no indication that he knew until that moment. Furthermore, she was slipping something awful as she should have guessed it when he used an entire squad of clones to invade Gato's hideout the night before. Her thoughts had been more distracted by that fool's use of a _Katon_ jutsu than she first believed.

She cursed silently even as she noticed the annoying Genin attached to the end of her arm tapping the back of her hand as a reminder of their predicament. With a pained sigh, she released him then sought her own corner to piss and moan in.

Her biggest fear was coming to life and she wasn't in any position to make the changes she needed to in order to correct it.

' _Damn you, Kushina.'_

Naruto, for his part, headed straight to Ino and got her to slide just a bit out of her little corner. At first confused, it made perfect sense as he slid down the wall with his back, his hands reaching out to pull her into his chest. Pushing her masked head down onto his shoulder, he wrapped both arms around her shoulders and rocked her gently, his hands rubbing her arms and shoulders.

Before too long, the fatigue, the continued mission stress, and the trauma of her first two kills began to rock her shoulders as silent sobs broke down her resistance. He had to give her credit. He could tell she was trying to muffle her sounds, her whimpers and hiccupping coming out through gritted teeth and sighing gasps. Not knowing what else to do for her, he began radiating his chakra at the smallest levels he could, his body continuing to rock from side to side.

The effect of his chakra washing over her had an immediate impact and she sighed blissfully.

Eventually, it worked and her whimpers died down altogether. Ultimately, even the periodic spasming of her shoulders stopped as sleep took her.

From across the small cave, an older woman watched in green-eyed jealousy hidden beneath the safety of her mask.

~III~

Final pack up and departure started off slow as one of the Naruto clones was talking, or trying to talk through hand signals, with _Hebi._

"You can't keep protecting her. Eventually, she is going to have to learn to cut it on her own." The clone, hence the original Naruto, didn't necessarily disagree with that premise. He did disagree with using very stupid and limiting gestures as the sole means to communicate so he switched to writing in the dry dirt of the cave floor.

[That is correct, but she isn't cut out for this life. We all can see that.]

"That's her call, not yours. She earned her shot." The clones growl didn't exactly indicate disagreement.

[I know she didn't ask for this. There is no way you can convince me of that.] The Snake Princess nodded.

"And your point would be?"

[I'll take care of her on the way back. If she wants to push on with this dumb idea someone put in her head, that's her call. She's been through enough this week.]

"Again, not your call Romeo." The clone merely stalked away in disgust.

While that was going on, the real Naruto could see that Ino was still exhausted and found very little trouble in convincing her to climb on to his back again. The second clone secured her to him with the sword belt for his tanto, which he then secured in the front of the Boss's obi. Thus situated, he started walking purposefully from the cave.

"You sure about this, brat? I'm not slowing down because you're playing bleeding heart."

[Ready] was his only answer and without further discussion leaped up into the branches working his way back to their normal traveling height.

For Naruto, it became an exercise in chakra and body management. In order to avoid jarring the nearly comatose kunoichi, he had to shorten his jumps and flatten out his trajectory turning them more into hops and skips than anything else. This effectively doubled his output, which wasn't a problem for the psychotic ultimate-cross-training-marathon workout nut. By steadily streaming chakra to his legs, back, and shoulders, he didn't start to feel the burn until the walls of Konoha could be seen in the distance.

Ino, being securely strapped to his back and enveloped in his addicting chakra as it flowed across her legs, pelvis, and the entire front half of her upper body, was lulled into warm sleep of white energy, clear dreamy skies, and warmth. She slept the entire five-hour trip home not waking up until the sublime feeling of warmth left her and she found her feet firmly on solid ground just outside the secret entrance to the ANBU underground passages.

Physically she felt fresh as a daisy from her chakra-induced nap. Mentally, she was dreading going to sleep that night without her chakra blanket. She was going to have to talk to her father soon. Ino knew enough about mental health to know that hers was in a very shaky place at the moment.

The friendly squeeze on her hand let her know that she wasn't alone, and her eyes snapped up to see Naruto looking back at her with concern. She knew without a doubt who he was now, and she saw his concern even as she returned the hand squeeze before stepping away to stand on her own.

He cared for her. He cared enough for her to carry her on his muscled back for five hours through the Konoha forest and bring her safely home. It made her warm inside and a bit ashamed at her momentary weakness.

Shinobi killed. Despite her growing despair and the faces of those two bastards flashing repeatedly behind her eyes, it was a necessary evil. Asking for help did not mean that she was weak. Asking for help did _not_ mean that she was weak.

She kept repeating that mantra all the way through the upcoming debriefing and up until she reached her father running straight into his arms.

It would be a long night for Ino Yamanaka as she recounted her tale to a startled and sobbing mother as her father made tea for them all several times over. Her mask lay untouched in the middle of the table.

~III~

* * *

[Glossary*]

 **Tsujigiri** – Also known as a "Crossroad Killing;" a Japanese term for a practice when a samurai, after receiving a new katana or developing a new fighting style or weapon, tests its effectiveness by attacking a human opponent, usually a random defenseless passer-by, in many cases during nighttime. The practitioners themselves are also referred to as _tsujigiri._

* * *

 _ **[Jutsu Used in This Chapter]**_

 **[C-Rank] Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique):** Goukakyuu no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Fire Element. The ninja does the necessary hand seals, draws chakra from their mouth into their chest and them immediately exhales it. They then blow a stream of fire which erupts into a large sphere of flames. To better manage the flames the ninja will bring their hand to their mouth to control it.

Katon jutsu such as this are seen as a rite of passage into adulthood for Uchiha clan members. Once the member can manipulate fire, they are finally recognized as no longer being a child.

 **[C-Rank] Ninpou: Shintenshin no Jutsu (Art of the Valentine):** Shintenshin a.k.a. Art of the Valentine allows the user to enter a target's mind, taking control of their body and senses. Normally a spying Jutsu, it can also be used in battle although with many drawbacks. The spiritual energy travels very slowly making it easy to dodge; If this happens, the user's body will be left as an empty vessel for a few minutes, leaving it wide open to attack- and even if the Jutsu does work, any damage that is caused to the target will also be inflicted upon the user's original body.

Art of the Valentine, which is used along with Shintenshin no Jutsu in the Viz English manga, is not a literal translation of Shintenshin no Jutsu.

 **[Unranked, most likely B-Rank Equivalent]** **Shisururōzu** **no Mai (Dance of the Thistle Rose):** The Dance of the Thistle Rose is a finishing move of the Azami Clan from Tetsu no Kuni. It is comprised of a sequential flow combining ten powerful strikes with high-energy charges to close the distance to an opponent giving them little time to react and counter. Novices to the art tend to have a difficult time adjusting the strikes to an opponent, an ability that normally evolves through years of dedication and practice to both the art form and samurai chakra sheathing to enhance physical performance.

Like the shinobi, samurai have their own variations of kenjutsu distinguished further through clan specializations, each clan teaching a specific style or forming a specific school of the art. The Order of the Thistle Rose was created by a minor clan in Tetsu no Kuni on the verge of extinction but known for its honorable fighting style of formalized swordplay. Modeled after Tenshin Shoden Katori Shinto Ryu, it teaches strict form and control through powerful strikes minimizing combat to reduce potential damage to the blade.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom**_

 _ **By Minato Namikaze**_

 _ **Chapter 5: Jutsu Every Good Shinobi Should Know (Well)**_

* * *

 _It is said that,_ "The shinobi who trains himself has a fool for a teacher."

 _I can wholeheartedly agree with this. Oh, don't misunderstand. It's well and good to discover long lost jutsu and techniques and to work towards mastering them. It is the height of utter foolishness to believe that you can take someone else's prized technique and perfect it without the critical eye of an observer or teacher familiar enough to provide helpful feedback in the family of technique you wish to add to your repertoire._

 _To reach that peak of tactical acumen, I say to you set aside your foolish pride and train with someone. Make sure it's someone you trust but find someone to help you perfect your skills. An unbiased eye is capable of discerning errors in your transformation or execution of elemental jutsus. A practiced sparring partner can help you push yourself beyond your limits. Never discount the benefits of training with someone you trust not to steal your hard-won secrets._

 _CAUTIONARY NOTE: Never share clan secrets with anyone outside your clan. That's just a... no!_

 _Now that the unpleasant administrative business is out of the way, you're probably wondering which spectacular jutsus I would recommend you focus your initial efforts on? Well, wait no longer intrepid shinobi!_

 _Let's start with the Travelling Ten._

 _"..."_

 _What? Give me a break you say? Not impressed you say? Bite your tongue, ragamuffin!_

 _The basics are the basics for a reason. They further develop chakra control and help you to build your initial chakra stores through constant practice and use. Furthermore, when performed properly, the act as introductory exercises that can build budding elemental chakra affinities. I never understood why hot shots run off to learn the big flashy techniques then spend hours lamenting why they're unable to do a simple Katon or Suiton jutsu._

 _The blueprints have already been laid out for you in these simple jutsus used to make long-distance patrols or missions in foreign nations more comfortable._

 _That said, it doesn't matter which ones you learn. Just pick one from each element. The one used for burying animal remains or human waste in the earth, you guessed it, helps build an earth element affinity. The one for condensing water from moisture in the air, uh huh. You're starting to catch on._

 _Pick at least one from each and master it. I mean truly master it to where you can do it with single-handed seals then again without any at all. And stop yelling out your techniques so that your enemy can react to what you're doing. You should work to master every jutsu you know without words or seals before moving on to the next (I'll include tutorials in the back of this book to help you with those two casting options)._

 _Once you are past the "Traveling Ten," I recommend mastering the Basic Academy Three. Yes, you read correctly. Master the Transformation, the Substitution, and the Clone techniques until you can cast them with no hand seals, no verbal components, and very little to no smoke to give away your actions._

 _They're the basic minimums to graduate for a reason. Transformation is an excellent way to disguise yourself from enemy detection and, if you can perform it fast enough without tipping your hand, can be an excellent evasion tool against less skilled pursuers. Substitution can literally save your life and, when mastered fully, can provide you with critical seconds in a life and death battle to fine-tune your plan to either win or flee from a challenging foe. Finally, the Clone Technique. While not a powerful offensive technique, it is the gateway jutsu to more powerful clone techniques that are and can prolong the life of your clones in combat (or your own if you need a distraction for just a moment)._

 _Master them and incorporate the Basic Three into your fighting style. You'll be thankful that you did one day._

 _Go farther and master the Leaf Floating, Tree Climbing and Water Walking techniques as soon as possible. The boost to your chakra control is nothing to sneeze at but these three exercises segue nicely into the following skill of Chakra Sheathing, the quintessential shinobi technique for using chakra to enhance your body making you less likely to be severely injured in a fist fight and help you perform fantastic feats of strength. Don't doubt the leaf!_

 _Oh, if you have not found the Body Flicker technique in the Genin section of the library, yes, I said the Genin section of the library, go grab a copy this very minute. Aside from being the coolest way to travel (it's highly customizable by the way), when mastered fully it can become an effective tool in close quarters combat. Need to get directly behind your opponent? Flicker! Need to gain distance to open up a window to cast a devastating jutsu? Flicker! Need to close the distance to make a heroic rescue at the last second and look magnificent in the eyes of a beautiful damsel? FLICKER!_

 _Need I say more? Then why haven't you left for the library yet? Just kidding, sit back down! We're almost done._

 _The last two I'll recommend are both E ranks also found in the library (if your Jounin instructor is an absolute lazy ass). Find copies of the Shadowing Stealth Technique and the Escaping Skill technique. You will definitely need to practice these against someone to be sure you have them down but the benefits will pay for themselves._

 _These are all fairly basic skill sets and used to be taught in the Academy, which is why they're available in the Genin section of the shinobi library. The Body Flicker used to be taught as part of the final year and it hurt to hear that it was going away. At any rate, you have some homework ahead of you, don't you?_

 _Good reading to you and good luck!_

~III~


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Time to transition to a new Arc. As we prepare to do battle for the vaunted Chunin promotion, so begins the plotting, scheming, grasping, and skullduggery. So begins the Chunin Exam Arc. Queue the training montage! (…after the chapter intermission)

Many will view this chapter as unnecessary fluff but it's a chance for our tired hero to pause for a moment and take perspective on his life. He's going to need that moment to make plans that I can disrupt later, after all.

As a side note, Ino is a winter baby and technically a half-year older than the majority of her Academy class, at least in this story she is. I liked that it put her closer to Naruto in case they ever got serious (less of that age nonsense to deal with).

On with the show.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 17: A Moment to Breathe**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _The friendly squeeze on her hand let her know that she wasn't alone, and her eyes snapped up to see Naruto looking back at her with concern. She knew without a doubt who he was now, and she saw his concern even as she returned the hand squeeze before stepping away to stand on her own._

 _He cared for her. He cared enough for her to carry her on his muscled back for five hours through the Konoha forest and bring her safely home. It made her warm inside and a bit ashamed at her momentary weakness._

 _Shinobi killed. Despite her growing despair and the faces of those two bastards flashing repeatedly behind her eyes, it was a necessary evil. Asking for help did not mean that she was weak. Asking for help did not mean that she was weak._

 _She kept repeating that mantra all the way through the upcoming debriefing and up until she reached her father running straight into his arms._

 _It would be a long night for Ino Yamanaka as she recounted her tale to a startled and sobbing mother as her father made tea for them all several times over. Her mask lay untouched in the middle of the table._

~III~

* * *

 **~ The Morning After ~**

It was fairly quiet in Naruto's apartment as he sat idly at the kitchen table. In one hand he held the blank ANBU mask they'd let him keep after returning last night, the unmolded face plate devoid of life and spark. The hooded balaclava spilled out over his fingers as his thumb lazily traced the vertical numbers beneath the right eye slot. Vaguely his keen ears picked up the soft clinking sounds of the clone pair assigned to cleaning and detailing the rest of his "acquired" ANBU gear, the industrious pair diligently scrubbing out the blood, grime, and grit picked up from three days and four nights of wear and tear.

Those lessons with Fū-chan were worth their weight in gold as he remembered her favorite phrase after each session.

" _Take care of your gear, and your gear will take care of you."_

A fresh cup of tea landed gently on the table in front of his elbow and the not-normally brooding Genin looked up briefly to thank his red-haired clone when she plopped down next to him with one for herself and one more for the buxom blond sitting directly across from him.

Naruko was thumbing the rim of her cup and humming a happy tune he recognized from her favorite anime, something to do with a pretty princess trying to recruit legendary knights to save her kingdom or some such. It never caught on with him as it turned out to be just another excuse for nerdy artists to draw women with huge breasts, but she clearly enjoyed it.

"Morning workout and breaky are done, Boss." She threw him a toothy grin that made her eyes close knowing he disliked the moniker. "What's next on today's schedule?" She threw off his pouty frown and the pensive blond shook his head minutely as he struggled for an answer.

He knew she wouldn't be around much longer mere weeks at best but there was so much left to plan and do. He was going to need a focused effort to learn _Fuuinjutsu_ , not the hodge-podge stuff he found picking through his mother's journal; Naruto recognized the volatile danger there and he was glad to see that his clones purchased a complete ten-volume set from one of the bookstores during their previous buying sprees. He also needed to buckle down and finish his fighting style, the _Tetsuken_. If he wasn't going to master one of the few Konoha styles available to him then he would need to perfect his own and he had a few additions in mind. Plus, he would need to do all of this while building up his elemental affinities as well as a suitable jutsu library. If he couldn't reliably use _iryojutsu_ or _genjutsu_ , then he would need to overcompensate in everything else.

He had a lot on his plate already in addition the stuff Opal and Titus wanted to talk to him about.

"Dunno honestly. I have thirty clones down at the training area working chakra control and another five in the back room sorting through the last book shopping spree just before our back-to-back mission so that frees up the morning." He whistled softly causing the clones working on his ANBU gear to look up before he chucked the mask to one of them.

Naruko sipped sparingly from the calming tea before looking up into her twin's thousand-yard stare. "What do you think will happen with the Uchiha now?" An apathetic shrug started out as his answer but then his mind drifted to their late afternoon return to Konoha and the train wreck that was the personality of the _Last Uchiha_.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Post Mission Summary Edition!_

 _For Naruto, the trip back to Konoha became an exercise in chakra and body management. In order to avoid jarring the nearly comatose kunoichi, he had to shorten his jumps and flatten out his trajectory turning them more into hops and skips than anything else. This effectively doubled his output, which wasn't a problem for the psychotic ultimate-cross-training-marathon workout nut. By steadily streaming chakra to his legs, back and shoulders, he didn't start to feel the burn until the walls of Konoha could be seen in the distance._

 _Originally, he had been worried about Ino even with her being securely strapped to his back. Naruto was fortunate that she passed out minutes into the journey but attributed her ease to the cooing sounds she made every time his chakra passed through her coils or across her skin. It had to be the sheathing he was using to power his travel home. He had insane amounts of chakra flowing through his coils at the moment and some of it was bound to find its way into her body._

 _She slept the entire five-hour trip home not waking up until he gently set her feet firmly on solid ground just outside the secret entrance to the ANBU underground passages._

 _Giving her hand a final friendly squeeze, the shaky-legged Genin filed in behind his team as they made their way back to the original briefing room. He could only hope his performance was good enough to get his name on the wait list. He wasn't so arrogant to believe Konoha owed him anything, but he worked his butt off for this one and he wanted a fair shot to be assessed by his merits and flaws, not his curse._

 _It was all he really wanted anywhere in Konoha; a fair shot._

 _The debriefing chamber, it was really too big to be called a room, was just as dismal as he remembered. The colorful cavalcade of people sitting behind the table didn't make things brighter or him worry any less even when the non-hostile Hokage immediately grabbed their attention._

" _Well done, Team_ Hebi _. It would appear that your quick thinking has opened the door for Konoha in Nami and an entire nation is in your debt. It is unfortunate that the precursor mission did not also end in success, however, if it had we would not be in the situation we find ourselves in." The aged man nodded to the team leader in question and_ Hebi _whirled around to face her squad._

" _Let's start with you," the suddenly energetic kunoichi spat out locking in on_ Zero-One-Three. _"Self-assessment time." She could see the boy's chest expand as he swelled up to spit out his report and she flickered to deliver a half-strength kick to his gut, which promptly evacuated any oxygen in his lungs._

" _Same rules apply, Genin. Know your place until the mission is done." She could see the hate in his eyes as the red orbs swirled in his anger. The best part? She absolutely did not care._

 _Standing upright, the hissing shinobi started flashing through hand signs, limited though the academy/Genin silent language was._

 _[Assigned RECON of village. Estimated enemy strength. Encountered hostile samurai. Defeated same. End mission.]_

" _Are there any counter testimonials?" Anko didn't have to turn around to see the immense satisfaction on the face of the wrinkled windbag calling herself Hokage-sama's advisor. So, she did the only appropriate thing she could as the woman opened her mouth to congratulate the smug brat._

 _She ripped apart his performance beginning with reminding the whole chamber about the mission protocols._ Hebi _had used clones to follow each Genin, each one equipped with a small video recorder to back up her claims. She cited each and every time he broke protocol or "bent the rules a little" starting with his verbal sparring with the ronin in question to his flagrant shattering of the "thou shalt not be discovered by the enemy" rule. By the time she was done, the once mighty hopeful was shaking in rage. Naruto honestly thought he might commit suicide by lashing out at her but even he wasn't that stupid, was he?_

 _Zero-One-Three apparently did not get the memo. His body dashed from the light circle, a kunai flashing in his hand._ Hebi _flexed and the boy's body somersaulted before landing face-down on the floor, one arm pinned mercilessly behind his back. Another twitch and the mask was ripped from his head to reveal the pain-laced face of Sasuke Uchiha._

 _The Hokage's face was predatory. "Please show the Uchiha the way out."_

 _And just like that, he was dismissed from the ANBU and gone amidst a stream of his own profanity._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Post Mission Summary Edition, Kai!_

It was catastrophically tragic to watch as the ebony-masked shadow ANBU hefted the writhing Boy from the floor and bodily hauled him from the chamber. Furthermore, proceedings came to a screeching halt until his escorts returned. Hebi explained that it was according to Black OPS house rules that all active members in town and not on-mission observed this event and voted yea or nay. Either they accepted you or they didn't.

Best of all, neither the advisory members nor the Hokage got a say in the matter. Dragon was the only allowable dissenting vote. It was the one shinobi ceremony relying solely on the ANBU members to support or reject you and it was why loyalty among their own was ridiculously high.

It was a rare day when Dragon overruled the majority, only occurring once anyone could remember; they accepted Itachi and look how that turned out. Was it any surprise that it hadn't happened since?

His younger brother left much to be desired.

 **~ Across Town in the Uchiha District ~**

Sasuke Uchiha dropped to the ground near exhaustion, his lungs heaving like a blacksmith's bellows. Everything was unreasonably warm, but he couldn't stop just yet. He hadn't mastered his next _Katon_ jutsu so he couldn't necessarily call it a productive day.

After being rejected by the morally obtuse ANBU, he needed to push ahead without their mediocre skill set.

Wiping the sweat from his face and eyes, the weary Uchiha pushed to his feet and slogged over to the training post standing guard over his towel and water bottle before flopping down with his back resting against it. The cool liquid helped to ease the burning in his esophagus and the gentle breeze dried his skin as he took pleasure in the destruction he'd wrought across the Uchiha training compound. It was the only happiness he took from this place these days.

The compound was a ghost town devoid of life, a district large enough to be a village on its own, and it all belonged to him. He smirked at the irony especially since he didn't even live here anymore. The Uchiha still owned controlling interests in some of the merchant factions so he never had to worry about finances. In fact, it would be years before he could run down the clan bank accounts enough to even worry about relying on those business ties. No, his comfortable lifestyle was assured until he was ready to venture out and revenge his ancestors on that bastard-.

He shook his head violently to clear the image of his older brother. He needed to stay focused and learn this next jutsu and then master its intended masking of projectile weapons. He would need to increase his timing and he couldn't do that snarling at ghosts.

At least he didn't need to worry about people spying on him here. If you weren't an Uchiha, you couldn't get past the wards on the gates to include passing over the walls. Those seals from the Arashi Sealing Consortium had cost a pretty penny for the clan but it was Ryu well spent. Too bad they didn't own a share of that place.

The dry snort escaping his lips almost lightened his mood. Jealousy of another clan, a defunct lesser clan no less, did not become an Uchiha.

' _Ugh! I sound so snobbish. Need to watch that.'_ It was a conflicting thought. His father had made comments like that his whole life and now he found himself repeating similar thoughts when he wasn't careful. It sounded so pretentious back then. Is that what others thought of him now?

He shrugged that thought off as well. It didn't matter what others thought. He was the clan head now and it was up to him to uphold the Uchiha standard. He gnashed his teeth and the conflicting thoughts in his head and rose to his feet once more. What if he was going about this the wrong way? What if he was overlooking something important? It wasn't like he could turn to his teammates for help; he couldn't risk letting them get close and distracting him from his purpose and Kakashi was too busy trying to talk him out of going after Itachi that it made anything he shared suspect. It was all so confusing!

No, Sasuke couldn't afford to allow doubt to creep in now. He'd come this far and couldn't turn back. His clan paid for his comfortable apartment and way of life. His clan afforded him this isolated training location so he could guard its secrets and grow strong enough to avenge it. His clan afforded him his status as an elite and he would rebuild it once he'd met his purpose, which meant his feet began carrying him back out to the rocky depression designed to help learn fire jutsu without burning the compound to the ground.

He owed it more than he had to give at the moment and that meant that he couldn't rest. The eyes of the dead demanded nothing less of him.

 **~ Back in Naruto's Tiny Apartment ~**

It wasn't that Naruto had a turbulent history with the massacre survivor. In the academy, he treated Naruto much like he treated everyone else – utter disdain and aloofness unless there was competition involved. No, if it was a matter of proving or gaining strength, the Uchiha tended to prioritize you as either a rival or a training dummy. There was no in-between.

Naruto was the sparring ring king, but he was far from undisputed. It wasn't that he lost fights. It was in fact a point of contention that he just never won against the Uchiha; all of their matches ended in draws infuriating the Uchiha that could never defeat him.

The reason Naruto couldn't win was simple really. He refused to deactivate his resistance seals in a training environment and that meant no overwhelming advantage in terms of speed and strength, which Naruto didn't mind. It usually turned their bouts into physical marvels as they each attempted to out-do the other with ridiculous feints or aerial acrobats designed to glean some minute advantage. While they left each bout scuffed and dusty, very few times anyone did emerge bloodied or purpled with bruises. If nothing else, it produced magnificent displays for the class to watch and sickening amounts of cooing from the Sasuke Fanclub. It also created large amounts of mutual respect between the two combatants.

It was meant to be the perfect combat clinic for the last Uzumaki, and he used it as such to improve his timing and execution using only the academy katas; "Never trust an Uchiha rat" was the saying and he intended to keep his _Tetsuken_ from thieving eyes as long as he could. The Uchiha pushed his limits and that was all well and good for Naruto.

Despite not being a physically domineering specimen (The _Uchiha_ did not appear to train in muscle development), Naruto would acknowledge that his classroom nemesis was skilled in his family's _Interceptor Fist,_ even if he was now a bit "off his rocker" judging by the vitriolic exit from the ANBU catacombs. Not wanting to dwell on the psychological issues of his former classmate (he had his fair share of issues to contend with without dwelling on someone else's), Naruto shifted mental gears.

"We missed our session with Inoichi so that means one of you gets an extra week of freedom." Sad smiles passed between the three before he sighed and continued on.

"That's okay," Naruko chirped back. "There is something I'd like to work on with you while I still have time."

He was curious now. "Oh?"

The chipper girl sported a Cheshire grin and nodded, her pigtails flopping about haphazardly. "Footwork!"

He thought about it then shrugged his well-rounded shoulders.

"It's something I definitely need work on. First thing's first though. I think I'd like to pay a visit to some old friends and just catch my breath. Tonight, is going to be a quiet one locked up in here with all the seals set so it might not be a bad idea to send a few clones to stock up. Any requests?" A deep wave of depression passed between the "girls" as they realized just what today was.

It was October the tenth and the village was preparing for the Yondaime Remembrance Festival. As a mixed blessing, Naruto would spend his fifteenth birthday as a shut-in ignoring an entire village that hated his guts.

"Caramel corn or funnel cake if you can find it," this from the perky one with pigtails. He always thought she had a super sweet tooth.

"We're almost out of hot cocoa and I would like some more. The weather is starting to turn." Ku-chan had set out his favorite scarf on his nightstand during his morning training session as a reminder.

Two clones popped into existence, immediately _henged_ into Tai-kun and a slightly older version that could pass as a brother, then slipped from the apartment after getting cash from their originator.

Disappearing into the bedroom, Naruto emerged a few minutes later in khaki cargo pants, a comfy dark blue tee shirt sporting a red Uzu swirl, and his familiar black and orange jacket, his body plopping down by the front door so that he could don his blue sandals.

"Don't forget to come back before sunset. I'd hate for Ku-chan here to go momma bear on Konoha trying to find you." Naruto waved over his shoulder as he stood and tamped his feet. With one last smile, he stuffed Gama-chan into his left thigh pocket, grabbed his holster for his right leg (because you never know) then stepped out into the bright Konoha morning.

Hands jammed firmly into his pockets, Naruto wandered in the general direction of the academy. With only two real destinations decided, he wasn't in a huge rush to be anywhere just yet.

Looking up into the clear blue sky above Konoha, he almost allowed himself to relax. How could you not with such a beautiful backdrop? Soft fluffy clouds in that clear blue canvass and the fresh air of the wooded Konoha backdrop made you breathe in peace and tranquility. It made you feel good just to be alive, that is until you noticed that sixty-five percent of the village you lived in, the civilian majority, hated your guts and glared at you everywhere you went.

Naruto's smile faded into a sullen mask of neutrality not twenty paces from his apartment building. He'd almost forgotten with so much time spent among others that knew nothing about his life how it was back in Konoha. He'd gotten spoiled in Istoria and hadn't been back long enough to be reminded of the hatred before being sent off to Nami, so he'd relaxed his guard a little. It looked like Konohans weren't going to let him forget any time soon.

He supposed the particular day today didn't help his case much either. Subconsciously his lazy pace took on slightly longer strides.

Before long he came upon the Hokage complex and detoured in to pay a visit to his absentee sponsor. Walking up to the desk of the eternally perturbed secretary, Naruto nearly gave the poor Yamanaka woman a heart attack when he asked if the Hokage had a few minutes in his schedule for a short-notice visit. There was understandable confusion as she pressed the panic button under her desktop and summoned ANBU responders to verify his identity.

If there were two things the real Naruto did not do it was to one, ask nicely to visit the "old man" nor did he two, ever call him by title. Since he had standing permission to "swing by" unless something important was going on, people in the office familiar with him never interfered so this clearly had to be an impostor. He stood passively through it all until his identity was verified by no less than five ANBU familiar with the boy and all his (known) quirks.

Surprisingly enough he was beginning to understand, and appreciate, why the Toad Sannin always used a window instead of the door.

After being admitted, Naruto walked casually up to the far side of the desk and waited patiently. It was the quiet that caused the Sandaime to glance up from the parchment in his hand with a pensive look on his wrinkled face. The boy had certainly left his rowdiest years behind in the academy but this level of quiet was, dare he say, uncomfortable to observe.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" He would use that familiar address until his last breath even if the distance between them had grown too far to bridge. Deep inside the old man still loved the scrappy orphan, the pain of their separation wearing on his old heart.

"I don't need anything, Hokage-jiji." Hiruzen's eyes widened noticeably. "I just came to see how you were. Maybe visit like I used to, if you're not too busy?" It sounded like a question, a very uncertain question, but the Hokage's face lit up as a smile spread across his mouth.

"Certainly, Naruto-kun. Sit, my boy. Sit." And just like that the tension ebbed away.

Naruto spent a little over a half an hour catching up with his surrogate grandfather, his eyes never once flickering to the hidden ANBU clinging to the odd surface, a wall here or a ceiling there. While the informal reunion was a bit awkward at first, his goal was to re-establish his bond with a man that had done so much for him through his early years.

Nami had taught him that. Seeing the broken spirit of his teammate showed him the price of going it alone, something he could no longer afford to do as his inner circle grew smaller and smaller each passing week.

He would not end up like Itachi.

Naruto rose shortly after excusing himself and, after a short pause, walked around the desk and hugged the Hokage much to the twitching surprise of the Sandaime's standing guard. Without another word, the emotionally-scarred teenager quietly showed himself out and moved on to his next random appointment leaving in his wake the much lighter soul of Hiruzen Sarutobi.

Thoughts swirled as he re-evaluated his past. Both parents had been lost at birth. His childhood friend from the orphanage was gone. He had no relationship with his godfather to speak of and the one woman he thought he could love forever wanted nothing romantically to do with him. Sure he could keep plugging away at her heart but that smacked vaguely of becoming a stalker and a fanboy he was most certainly not. Running away to Istoria was sounding better all the time.

His thoughts wandered once more to the village he called home, a place where he used lies, trickery, and deceit on a daily basis just to make ends meet. Was he supposed to devote the rest of his life to protecting these idiots? How long was he supposed to swallow back their hatred and smile in their stupid faces? He loved the old man but if this village had its way, Naruto would be stuck swallowing humble pie until his dying day. As his thoughts rambled, his feet kept tapping the hallways and staircases of Hokage Tower.

By the time he wandered next door into the academy's teaching hall, Iruka and the students had taken an early break from classroom work for physical training. Not wanting to get sucked into Konohamaru's antics, he steered his way back to the east meandering into a familiar flower shop, Ino's voice ringing out as the door chimes rang his arrival.

"Welcome to Yamanaka- Naruto!" Her smile seemed a tired but genuine as she worked a bouquet on the far side of the customer counter. Seated on his side was a familiar pineapple haired boy about his age who had thrown up a friendly wave over his shoulder rather than turn around, presumably because of how troublesome the extra effort would have been.

Ino smirked at the lazy Genin before her eyes flickered back up to her other teammate. "Enjoying your time off, Naruto?" He wasn't sure how to take it given what the two of them had been through, so he shrugged noncommittally and plopped down onto another stool as he watched her hands fly through the arrangement.

"I'm fine, Ino-chan. I came by to see how you were." His eyes locked onto her face despite her efforts to hide everything behind her bangs. He'd already seen the dark circles under her eyes but the artificial lighting in the store was making it hard to gauge if she was any paler than normal.

Shikamaru, who had been uncharacteristically paying her a social call, had already tried to go down this road with her and chose that moment to rise from his perch citing "previous engagements" before sloughing off with a wave. "Tonight, at six, Ino."

Showing just a bit of her old self, Ino spit out a quick, "I won't forget!" before her eyes fell back to her constantly moving fingers. Naruto watched them carefully clean out the detritus and trim individual stems as she built upon a complicated funeral wreath, something Naruto found symbolically ironic given their last few days.

"You're not sleeping, are you?" The girl's fingers froze for half a heartbeat before resuming their steady rhythm.

Pluck. Toss. Trim. Press. Clamp. Repeat.

"Have you talked to anyone?" She nodded even with her lower lip pinched from her immaculate teeth.

Pluck. Toss. Trim. Press. Clamp. Repeat.

He tried to change tactics. "I figured you were taking it easy. I mean, we've been given a whole week off." His smile was forced but she didn't take the bait, not fully anyway. Her grin never freed her lower lip. His fingers found a small clipping to pick up and play with, Ino's ice blue eyes lifting for a second to watch him fiddle absently with it.

She appreciated what he was trying to do but her father would help with the really hard stuff. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy his company.

"Keeping busy helps. It keeps me from…" Her words died off, but he got the point. Motion kept her from being stagnant. Sitting still gave her mind time to wander. Sitting still long enough gave her mind time to wander back to a pair of bloody faces she didn't want to remember.

He stopped playing the nosy nursemaid and asked her to teach him what she was doing realizing it wasn't a bouquet she was pulling together. The shocked kunoichi blinked then gradually started talking about the types of wreaths and how they were made. The two talked for over an hour before Inoichi stumbled through the employee entrance with a bunch of flowers for other arrangements.

"Naruto-san!" With a flower stem clamped in his teeth, the blond boy could do little more than smile cheekily and wave back. "I'm beginning to think you're avoiding our sessions through dangerous work."

Naruto nervously shook his head and plucked the white carnation from his mouth. He knew what that line of thinking would earn him, and he wasn't ready for another pair of ANBU babysitters. He still needed to get familiar with Opal and Titus before calling up Gamaken this weekend. It would be his best chance to do so and he wanted no observers.

"Good. Then I'll see both of you next week, correct? No need to involve Hokage-sama in any of this is there?" Naruto's continued shaking of his head was all the confirmation the Yamanaka Clan head needed. With a friendly chuckle, he saw himself out the same way he came in with only a gentle squeeze to the shoulder of his beloved daughter as he passed by.

~III~

It took Ino another hour to finish the wreath with Naruto's help not being much actual help in the end. His company was good for comic relief if anything else and that made her relax quite a bit. The two of them were currently strolling slowly through the Market District, Ino trying desperately not to talk to her teammate about how she was not holding up all that well.

She just couldn't sleep without his warm chakra wrapped around her and she was having a hell of a time not blurting that fact out. How did you come out to your platonic teammate and tell him that you needed his chakra in order to function normally?

Her father had broken down a medical diagnosis for her condition. _Chakra Addiction_ he'd called it saying that it was more common among Yamanaka sensors when they'd found their symbiotic chakra partner. She'd come back to the fact that she might be a sensor, like Naruto, later. She wanted to get her head wrapped around what a "symbiotic chakra partner" was and how it had anything to do with Naruto.

While it didn't always result in marriage, let alone marital bliss, it could become problematic for active sensors once they'd been exposed to something like that then were abruptly cut off. She was far too young to even consider marriage anyway having only just turned fourteen a little over two weeks ago. No, she needed to make sure that she didn't get hooked on Naruto's mojo any time soon. His chakra just felt so damn wonderful coursing through her tenketsu. Just reminiscing about the mission to Wave let her see how possible it was for this addiction to take hold and that scared her.

Chakra withdrawal apparently was never pretty to observe let alone endure. It also tended to raise its ugly head most often during puberty as Yamanaka sensors tended to come into their own abilities about the same time. If she could survive her training with Daddy, she could learn to hold the addiction at bay. She just had to survive first.

Ino, unwilling in a moment of weakness to simply bid her former social nemesis good night when he rose to leave the shop, was now strolling leisurely through the busy Konoha district trying with all her might not to publicly glomp the poor boy who knew nothing of her current predicament. To her, that was a troublesome sign.

This was almost as bad as getting wasted in Istoria and waking up mostly naked on top of him. Almost.

"Plans?"

Naruto jerked at the odd question. "Huh?"

Ino huffed. "I asked do you have plans? As in plans for the celebration tonight?" Naruto's face instantly darkened.

"No, no I don't Ino-chan. I mostly stay to myself the day of the festival. Less trouble that way." Ino's plan to cling to his arm all night instantly went up in smoke. Unless…

"Come with us then." There was a silent plea in her voice that the jinchuuriki caught and dismissed with a shake of his head.

"Naw, I'm gonna pass. Too many people for me but you're welcome to come by and share stories if you want." Her smile returned around the corners of her perky lips. "I'll even throw on a fresh pot to warm you up." He realized how cold October nights could be in Konoha.

"In fact, you have an open invitation, Ino-chan." She blinked in surprise. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to or just a place to crash for a bit." He seemed nervous, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck in his usual timid gesture.

Her warm smile was enough mushy stuff for the day and the already nervous Uzumaki waved his way off to return home, the sun high in the afternoon sky. He'd had enough people time and needed to get back before it got too late.

' _This could work,´_ thought a certain Yamanaka to herself as she rushed home to prepare for the night's fun. _'After all, we have all the time in the world!'_

~ III ~

Jiraiya of the Sannin had a powerful urge to sneeze at that exact moment but shrugged it off.

"What are you saying, Jiraiya?"

"I'm saying that innocent villages don't ramp up emergency food stores from six months to almost a year and a half because spoilage and vermin make maintaining those stores over longer periods nearly impossible. I'm saying innocent villages don't randomly increase weapons procurement and production during times of peace. I'm saying innocent village don't start disbursing troops to war time fortifications and practicing extended deployment rotations unless they were planning to use them."

Hiruzen frowned knowing that the signs were there and that both Suna and Oto were making the same overtures. Both nations were moving towards conflict but with whom?

"Find me a clear direction, Jiraiya. In the meantime, I will call in someone I trust to discuss what you've brought us."

~ III ~

It was only midday and Naruto was lamenting the thought of going home so early. The "festivities" were going to be going on long into the night and that meant a slow afternoon trying to dodge his clone's schemes for the evening. Trying to ignore the growing wave of angry glares, Naruto's eyes caught sight of an unusual shop sign hanging above a fancy three story building, one of the few made from large blocks of stone. He paused, his eyes glued to the icon knowing he'd seen the clan crest from somewhere.

The sign block was white and appeared to be made of porcelain. There were no words, just a series of blocks and rectangles forming a multi-layered series of rings with odd edges. It reminded him of a disjointed spiral or kunai target.

He walked inside having nothing better to do but fully expecting to be escorted rapidly from the premises in short order.

His first shock was that no door chime rang yet the two women and older man wearing flowing white and grey robes bearing the sign's symbol across the front all looked up at his entrance. The graying hair of the elderly store owner gave little away concerning his heritage but the light brown hair of his daughters was not unappealing. The store was also filled with people, many of which sucked on their teeth or grunted in annoyance. Oddly enough, none of them turned to leave.

Everyone already inside grew unbelievably still, a few turning to look at the older male staring at him in the most peculiar fashion.

 _'Well, I know what is coming next. This shouldn't take_ _long.'_

True to form, the older man turned to the younger-looking girl stacking fresh scrolls upon one of the many shelves and scroll cubbies throughout the store and nodded in his direction. The young lady, perhaps his age, rose from her spot with her hands tucked into the sleeves of her robe and approached him calmly, which set him all the more on edge. Did she have a weapon hidden in there? Was she running through a series of hand seals for a dangerous jutsu? His feet slid marginally apart as his body tensed.

When she stopped two paces in front of him, the young lady's light grey eyes smiled warmly and she bowed full at the waist. "Greetings Naruto-sama. Please follow me quickly to the rear office and my father, Abe Naozumi, will explain as soon as we can empty the store of its customers."

He was floored. It took a few minutes for his brain to process the information before he could nod dumbly that he'd acknowledged her. She giggled softly, not an unpleasant sound, and he fell into step behind her as she scooted through the rows of scrolls, blank parchments, study guides, self-help books, and pre-made seals. He wanted to spend hours perusing the ship's wares but, for now, he could do nothing but follow dumbly behind the small-framed girl leading him to who-knows-where.

The elder Naozumi and his older daughter bowed as he passed by, a gesture he returned despite the other shocked faces trying to burn holes in his back. Through the middle of the store and a heavy wooden door behind the register she guided him. Unlike the pristine tiled stone floor in the store front, the short hallway was immaculately groomed polished wood of deep hues. Expensive carpets lined the center and alabaster sconces flickered softly in between soothing paintings of the Konohan countryside.

Pushing open the double doors at the end of the hallway, the still silent girl showed him into an office almost as large as the main store, a pair of comfortable looking couches facing off around a low coffee table were both set before an impressive desk bigger than the one he regularly saw in Hokage-jiji's office. This was the office of old money. Whoever owned this store was beyond wealthy and it showed as he glanced about admiring the tasteful yet minimalistic decorations that surrounded him.

His escort giggled again and drew his attention back to her oval-shaped face. "It's okay. We are used to that reaction from important customers when they come to negotiate resource contracts." She motioned to one of the couches and asked him to sit. Once he was comfortable (kami, these were comfortable couches), she stepped to the side of the room and prepared a small tea service for him and two others. With his tea in hand, she went to stand behind the other couch taking a seat on one of several high stools just behind the other couch.

In silence the two waited, the friendly seeming teenager watching him with something akin to interest and awe. It was a new experience for the unloved orphan and it was starting to make that certain spot in the middle of his back itch. Just as it was about to become unbearable, the doors opened again and in walked the elder Naozumi, an older woman with silver-streaked light brown hair and dark brown eyes, and the second young lady from the store front.

The two (presumably) parents stood across the low coffee table from him and the girls joined them, one to each side. Not knowing what to do, Naruto stood and prepared to bow but, the moment he rose, all four of them bowed near horizontally at the waist.

Naruto blinked mutely then returned the gesture following their next set of actions and resuming his seat as the daughters took station behind them. What followed was very eye-opening for the jinchuuriki pariah of Konoha.

Abe, his wife Kohaku, and his daughters Kirika and Kiyoko, ran the Arashi Seals Consortium on behalf of the previous owners until their son came of age to decide what to do with the shop. If it was the heir's wish, they would continue to run the shop on his behalf and were decently skilled in the art to maintain the seals in their current inventory. Lacking the skills needed to develop more challenging arrays, they were more than skilled enough to maintain the Consortium's demanding standards of excellence even lending their services to the ANBU Barrier squad when contracted by the Hokage. It was understood that his daughters would take over when it was their time to retire, which they hoped was many years from then.

Pleased as he was to discover all this, Naruto was clearly confused as to why the Naozumi family was sharing this information with him and he expressed his deepest concern about possibly costing them business once people discovered that the de-, that he was in their store. None of this made sense to him.

Abe's nonchalant waving off of that concern perplexed him. Furthermore, Kohaku's pained look of sympathy shocked him more than anything else. They clearly knew who he was and it didn't bother them but Naruto didn't want to get his hopes up.

"Poor boy, did no one tell you who your parents were?" The blinking stare confirmed the older woman's fears and her kimono'd hands shot up to cover her mouth as water began to pool in the corners of her dark brown eyes. Clearly the girls got their looks from her and their eye color from their father.

He sadly shook his head "no" just to be clear about the village's ongoing subterfuge. Kohaku's oval-shaped face turned to her husband, her tightly-bunned hair do framing her delicate features and she implored silently to Abe-san in some silent marital communication ceremony.

Abe sighed and rose motioning for Naruto to follow him over to the area off to the right side of the posh desk.

"This store was established by the matriarch of a powerful clan, her _fuuinjutsu_ skills unparalleled in Konoha not even by the vaunted Toad Sage, Jiraiya-sama. In time, she passed down the helm to her husband when she married and it has become our tradition to immortalize the store's owners in portraits along this wall. It is our hope that pictures will one day line the wall of this office and the hallway beyond." Naruto had been focused on the gentle lines in the man's kind face but he looked up once the older man's arm swung out to the corner wall four or five paces from the desk.

On the wall directly behind the desk but close to the corner sat a beautiful woman with flowing red hair. She was resting on a bed of cushions in a deep blue kimono, one hand cradling her chin while the other hovered over a blank parchment with a feather quill in hand. She was stunning, the dimly lit room allowing a single beam of sunlight to come down and highlight her flawless features. At the bottom of the large painting, a small plaque of gold showed the characters for Kushina Uzumaki, Royal Heiress of Uzushiogakure no Sato, President of the Arashi Seal Consortium.

Naruto's knees buckled and Abe reached over to help steady him.

"Her husband was the next President of the company." He motioned to the next painting which began the first in a long series of spaces reserved on the wall. On it was the painting of a striking man with hair the same golden blond color as Naruto's, his striking blue eyes peering down at papers and quills in his hand and scattered across the very desk resting behind the shocked boy. He was looking at the face of Minato Namikaze, the man that would go on to become the Yondaime Hokage of Konoha.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen pictures of them that stunned him so. It was that this was their shop, which made sense when you connected the dots leading to their sealing mastery. No, it was the realization that slowly pummeled him as Abe looked on with hope dawning in his eyes.

This was the Namikaze-Uzumaki store. This was _his_ store.

Abe ended up rushing him back over the couch as the boy began to hyperventilate. Fresh water, more tea, and calming back rubs from both daughters helped to bring him back to a semi-conscious state as the Naozumis began to educate the young master on just what all ownership of the A.S.C. entailed.

Yes, they knew exactly who he was and yes, they knew (all of them) about the Kyuubi. They were all too savvy in _fuuinjutsu_ not to know that he wasn't the demon reborn. No, they weren't concerned about losing business. There were competitors but their seals were inferior and overpriced; the A.S.C. used security seals developed by Kushina-dono to protect their products and that meant customers always returned sooner or later.

Their main point was that Naruto needed to understand that this was his store by right of inheritance and he was free to come and go as he saw fit. Abe's family lived on the second floor but the penthouse on the third belonged to his parents when they weren't at the Clan compound.

Naruto had to blink there. Yes, there was a Namikaze-Uzumaki compound and the Naozumi family maintained access so that it could be cleaned periodically by staff, and this meant he had a family home, if he wanted it. The Naozumi's maintained the taxes and property upkeep, what little wasn't done by seals.

There was more deep breathing with his head placed firmly between his knees before a gently smiling Kohaku giggled out, "We should show him his mother's gift in the safe." Naruto's head shot up, eyes wide.

Abe rose and padded over to the other side of the room across from the portrait of his father. Behind a large painting of an island he was unfamiliar with was a large metal safe. Abe placed his palm in the center of the large door and pulsed his chakra into the face causing it to open with the sound of heavy rods retracting.

"You will have full access to the safe but there is a smaller one inside that only you can open as it requires using a blood seal. You are familiar with this concept?"

Naruto nodded vaguely that he was. When he rose to join the old man, he saw a safe container large enough to stand in with shelves containing books, ledgers, documents, chests of money, coins, and small boxes of gems. "This is our daily operating capital," Abe stated pointing to a smaller lock box about the size of a five-liter tub. "The rest of this, are some of the more valuable items not kept in your family bank vault or the two areas of the house we cannot enter without blood seals."

Naruto made a mental note to explore the clan house at a later time. For now, the two approached a wall mounted safe about chest high and Naruto bit his thumb to smear it across the Uzumaki swirl etched into the door. The spiral filled, the symbol pulsed with a red flash of light, then the door swung open silently.

Inside were fifteen large tomes, each spine engraved with a spiral and number. Taking down the first one, he opened it to find a personal note from his mother explaining the texts. He thought they might have been family documents, however, it turned out to be something far more valuable.

His mother had begun transcribing copies of the Uzumaki sealing texts, the original works of his clan that had been distilled down into simpler concepts used to create Konoha's, and later the entire elemental world's, _fuuinjutsu_ system. It was a treasure trove of information, well, up until text number seven because she'd apparently run out of time before finishing the other eight.

He was heartbroken but this was still more than he'd ever hoped for and it was written in his mother's impeccable script. He'd need to work on his calligraphy a lot by the looks of this.

In the end he decided to leave the books in the safe he'd found them. With the seals covering the inside of the small vault, it was unlikely that someone could break in without bleeding him dry first. Abe commented that his mother was working on the scripts up until his birth so that meant that the originals were somewhere and he just needed to find out where they were.

It wasn't completely hopeless.

By the time he left the Naozumi family, the sun had begun its descent into late afternoon but it was the best afternoon he'd had in a long time. He'd have to return to them often and take them up on that dinner invitation. October tenth was just a bad time to be out and about.

~ III ~

It's not that Naruto was blind or insensitive to the hateful stares. He saw them in his peripheral vision. He could feel their anger like rancid oil sliding over his shoulders. Their words used to sting his ears, ears that could hear voices at a hundred meters if he focused hard enough to block out other sounds. It wasn't that he was not aware; he just no longer cared about their hatred.

People were moving in familiar groups as the sun plummeted across the sky. Families were taking their children towards the festival grounds dressed in traditional yukata. Groups of young adults clustered around bars and party locations, their eyes raking over the strolling _demon brat._ He knew what those looks meant.

Once the drinking had been underway for a few hours, the true festival celebration would begin with Konoha's all-time favorite: The Kyuubi Fox Hunt.

Not this year. Never again for their entertainment. No more.

Without undo haste, Naruto crossed the Market District into the Red Light without diverting per his original intentions. He'd seen enough friends today and the rest were still in Wave cleaning up Team Seven's mess.

Waving to the ladies of _The Cherry Blossom_ , Naruto pushed chakra into his legs and covered the distance from the street level to his entry hallway in a single leap. Tonight, he was beyond their reach.

Tomorrow he would assess his progress and begin true growth. He had a long way before he could stand up against his family's enemies. He'd need that strength in order to break away from his crummy existence.

Just before he stepped inside his apartment, something horrid passed over him making his body shudder. It wasn't anything he'd felt in Konoha before, so he had nothing to compare it against. It wasn't equal to the malevolent hatred the Kyuubi could generate but it was vile, and dark, and bitter.

When he turned in the direction of its source, it vanished like the wind.

~III~

The dichromatic figure glared out from behind the large attachment encompassing his head. To any passerby that could see him on the far rooftop, he looked like he had a Venus Flytrap stuck to his shoulders, one half of his face dark as a moonless sky and the other half pale as fresh snow. The black robe spackled with red clouds announced his allegiance.

His anger nearly caused him to get found out and that would never do. No, the wretched Kyuubi would be the last taken and soon his beloved mother would walk the land again as she took her rightful place as a kami to lead the sheep.

Until then he could tolerate the Akatsuki and their childish games.

' _Enjoy your remaining days,'_ he whispered to his darker half as his body sunk fully into the neighboring rooftop.

~III~

* * *

A/N: The A.S.C. is from my first story "Nature of the Beast." I have redone the Naozumi family in line with a surprise in store later on in this fic and the reason the family is both aware of his status and his heritage will be made known later on. For now, his love of seals needs a recharge and I think the Naozumi family can provide that.

~ III ~


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** This time we find Konoha desperately trying to play catch up to Oto's growing displays of hostility. I never thought that Konoha's spy network would be completely ineffective; it just seemed "too convenient" to me. Yeah, yeah, story plots, dramatic tension, etc. Any spymaster worth his salt should have been able to read the signs of pre-war time stockpiling and exaggerated troop movements. Perhaps Jiraiya shouldn't have spent as much time in the brothels, neh?

On with the show (and the Omake at the end).

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 18: A Pound of Flesh**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _Without undo haste, Naruto crossed the Market District into the Red Light without diverting per his original intentions. He'd seen enough friends today and the rest were still in Wave cleaning up Team Seven's mess._

 _Waving to the ladies of The Cherry Blossom, Naruto pushed chakra into his legs and covered the distance from the street level to his entry hallway in a single leap. Tonight, he was beyond their reach._

 _Tomorrow he would assess his progress and begin true growth. He had a long way before he could stand up against his family's enemies. He'd need that in order to break away from his crummy existence._

 _Just before he stepped inside his apartment, something horrid passed over him making his body shudder. It wasn't anything he'd felt in Konoha before, so he had nothing to compare it against. It wasn't equal to the malevolent hatred the Kyuubi could generate but it was vile, and dark, and bitter._

 _When he turned in the direction of its source, it vanished like the wind._

~III~

* * *

 **~ The Morning After ~**

Naruto's workout the following morning went flawlessly, once he dealt with the passed-out drunks in the hallway next to his apartment. The reinforcement seals he'd pirated from his mother's journal and etched onto every window and door of his residence meant that villagers (and shinobi) couldn't break in. Drunkfest participants (as Naruto referred to festival goers), robbed of their favorite sport for the first time in years, defaulted to petty (attempted) vandalism and graffiti. They were too drunk to try breaking down the adjacent walls and Naruto resolved to find a solution to the garish paint for next year.

This also meant he needed to take his _fuuinjutsu_ education seriously after surviving this horrible holiday rendition.

Fortunately, drunkfests in Konoha also meant even fewer people out before the sun's rays the following morning. This meant that he had free run of the entire village, ANBU shadows notwithstanding. Standing deep in his "appropriated" slums district training ground, Naruto glanced across the chilly grass and smiled at the twenty-five pairs of clones working through both the academy basics and his unfinished _Tetsuken_ forms. Today they would get a little help.

Leaping to the rooftops and across the still snoring village, he worked his way to Training Area Ten, the training spot for his team. His keen ears could pick up no sounds coming from Area Nine where the twin taijutsu monsters would normally be hard at work pulverizing training posts the repair squads would need to resuscitate later. They were good people and Gai offered to help him with one of the three styles he wanted to incorporate into the _Tetsuken_ when he overheard Naruto was "developing his own path to youth," as he'd energetically referred to it.

Even though Gai knew nothing about either ancient art of Aikido or Pencak Silat, he was well-versed in the Plains Clan's use of Krav Maga. It was a brutal close-quarters taijutsu form perfectly suited to fighting multiple opponents in open areas with little cover. It provided both a solid standing and ground fighting capacity that melded nicely with what he believed Pencak Silat to be, the latter filling in both perceived weaknesses of his standup fighting style while adding a potent aerial takedown component nicely. It was a merciless and especially unforgiving combination making Naruto secretly wish the "Beautiful Beasts of Konoha" would return from whatever mission had whisked them away a week ago.

That was enough drooling. He had plenty to focus on in the meantime.

A single seal, a large wave of smoke, and a satisfying exhale preceded a wave of two hundred clones spreading out among Area Ten. Five pairs of twenty clones shot out to different sections of the training ground and began their appointed tasks starting with chakra control and moving through air, earth, water, and lightning elemental affinities. Naruto smiled at the last group knowing that they had the longest way to go given that he'd spent no time building up that element. The remaining hundred broke up into similar groups but instead focused on specific jutsu assigned to each elemental affinity.

He could feel Titus vibrating quietly on his forearm, the sea serpent pleased with the change in training.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Birthday Night at Naruto's!_

 _Naruto sat cross-legged on the floor, Opal (fully covered and sitting seiza this time) and Titus in both their human forms as they sat across from him. Both had been quiet up until he'd returned from his stroll and his clones were finally dispelled, the latter very interested in Naruto's training notebook on chakra management._

" _You are going to need to choose which one of us to bond with when the clan finally accepts you as its summoner." The older sibling seemed calm and focused even as his little sister bristled, her face blushing a brilliant shade of pink._

" _He's mine, Titus! We've already gone over this! His status as the U~ōkā makes that irrevocable!" She was clearly unhappy with his continued wheedling and was unwilling to concede her summoner despite the blood link to Naruto's deceased mother._

" _We've agreed to nothing," his arrogant smirk moving over to his flustered kin. "Only one of us can bond with him and, as an acknowledged Uzumaki," the dark-haired male thrust a finger in Naruto's direction, "he is well within his right to follow in his mother's footsteps." Clearly the younger female did not approve of his badgering and her frown turned into a full-blown, fang-bearing grimace._

 _Naruto found her smile very similar to his own in addition to the feral cuteness it gave her human form. Too bad she didn't have the same whisker marks…_

" _Why can't I bond with both of you?" The innocent question from the blond human promptly sidetracked the whole argument as both summonses turned to stare at him in abject terror, Opal's hands shooting up to her mouth to stifle her gasp._

" _Never joke like that, Naruto-sama." Naruto blinked at the new show of respect from the normally withdrawn male sea serpent. "The bonding process will refine your Uzumaki," a blatant coughing from his sister made him pause, "or Senju chakra awakening your latent bloodline traits." He reached up to set down Naruto's unfinished cup of tea on the floor where they could all look down into it, the light green liquid sloshing about gently as it settled in the bottom third of the container._

" _I ask that you suspend disbelief and pretend that the tea in the bottom of this cup represents your Uzumaki chakra buried deep with the pools of your reserve. It is untouched as you've not learned how to tap into it and it has not reached full maturation because you've not yet bonded with your chosen summons." Naruto nodded once._

" _This chakra, as it is today, is about one and a half times more dense than normal human chakra. This extra density makes it more potent meaning that you can either use less to achieve the same effects that normal shinobi can when they use their chakra." Naruto nodded again. "Or, you can use what we will call your usual amount with this chakra to increase the effects of your jutsu overpowering them and your opponents, once you learn how to tap into it."_

 _This sounded very promising to the smiling Genin._

" _Now pretend that the empty air in this cup, the clear space above the green liquid, represents your normal chakra and that this cup is full to the very brim. This chakra is identical to the same energy all of your classmates have in their chakra networks. It is light and flows through your chakra network like water and functions just like you've come to expect when using it in the course of your responsibilities." Naruto nodded again but something had been tickling the back of his mind._

" _Just how much chakra do I have compared to my classmates? I've been told that I have a lot but not by how much." The Stormbringer paused for a moment to consider his response before rising up, going to the kitchen returning with a white bowl approximately three times the size of the tea cup. Naruto nodded appreciatively._

" _That's not bad. If my classmates have this much chakra and I have this much, it makes sense that I would have such a hard time with the smaller jutsus. This much chakra overflowing in my network would be hard to control."_

 _Opal shook her head and pointed to the tea cup._

" _This represents your Hokage, Naruto-kun." The Genin turned ghostly pale while her brother set a teaspoon down on the saucer the tea cup rested on._

" _This spoon represents your average classmate," the smirking male admitted with some relish._

 _The living room was extremely quiet for the next few minutes._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Birthday Night at Naruto's, Kai!_

Their conversation went into the early morning hours and addressed how they would help him awaken his clan chakra, but he'd need to pick one to be bonded with. Apparently, the process would strain his tenketsu, more specifically his larger chakra coils that regulated flow and back pressure, to the breaking point. Uzumaki before him tried to bond with both strains of summons with spectacular failures; an exploding chakra network meant a slow death for the shinobi as their body ruptured and bled to death. Since it would destroy his chakra network, not even the fabled Uzumaki bloodline would be able to save him as he bled from his skin and every conceivable orifice.

It was not a death Naruto Uzumaki wanted to consider. He would have to make up his mind and pick one eventually. He just didn't want to hurt either one but how did you choose between chakra chains and the _mokuton_? That was cruel and unusual punishment.

Then an idea popped into his head when he remembered Titus' comment about the purification process straining his chakra coils. Didn't he read something in Tsunade Senju's medical dissertation on shinobi health and maintaining a strong chakra network?

Shaking off the night's discussion, Naruto jumped off through the trees and out of the main gate with only a brief discussion to the ever-present gate guard duo just coming on watch for the day. Signing out to go train, he worked his way west from the village then southwest until he found a clearing large enough to do what he wanted to achieve. With another heavy sigh, Naruto pierced his left thumb then swiped the blood across his right palm. Five short hand seals later as he molded an obscene amount of chakra, Naruto slammed his palm down onto the dew-covered grass.

[ _Ninpou: Kuchiyose no Jutsu: The Iron Brothers!_ ]

The runes spiraled out fifteen meters in all directions before exploding into a massive cloud of smoke. Puffing lightly at the sudden sensation of lightheadedness, Naruto glanced up to see the massive form of a purple-highlighted toad in the dim light of pre-dawn. He was amazed at the height and breadth of the massive summons, the heavy shield and body armor matching nicely with the spiked sasumata clutched in his massive hand.

"Greetings, Uzumaki-sama," the enormous summons croaked out.

It was as he was staring up at this massive battle toad, his back and neck craned so that his face was nearly pointed up into the night clouds above, that a deeper voice cleared a throat much closer to his earthbound location. His head snapped down to come face to stomach with a similarly-garbed battle toad that still towered over him even though this second one only reached the larger toad's kneecap.

Similar warty skin tone. Similar plated body armor and skullcap minus the shield and sasumata. Similar stocky build with bulging muscles underneath it all. What was different were the spiked gauntlets covering his fists and forearms as well as the alternating green and white face paint streaking out from the center of his face (done kabuki style) with red streaks in the middle of his chin and one at each temple. He was the one that cleared his throat.

"Wow. Bad-ass!" It came out before Naruto could stop it and he blushed briefly remembering too-late the Toad Sage's caution about respect.

The smaller toad blinked, smiled, then looked up to his larger brother. "That settles it, Ken-kun. Let him sign it." The toad's voice was like boulders rolling downhill. It was an ominous bass that vibrated Naruto's bones and made his body thrum.

"Very well, nii-san, though I am a bit ungraceful." Naruto blinked in shock. Apparently, the smaller toad was the older of the two. Not put out in the slightest, he stepped back as the larger toad set his shield down on the ground, the inside of it turned to face him.

Inside the cover near the lower edge where large welds joined the inner liner of the shield with its metal outer shell, there were spaces in between that held engraved names, all of the previous ones appearing to have been scratched out by some tool.

"Naruto-sama, please sign in blood using the hand you wish to summon us with." The blond Genin nodded before biting his right thumb and penning his name in the space. "Now, coat each finger tip and imprint them next to your name."

Once it was all said and done, the human watched in awe as his blood burst into flame. Following the fiery strokes of his digit, his name and fingerprints literally burned themselves into the golden metal as it all etched itself into the surface permanently. When it was finished, the metal ring pivoted one space clockwise with an audible _clang._

"We were beginning to think you'd back out on us, Naruto-kun." The last Uzumaki turned to the smaller of the two and shook his head firmly.

"Never. Even if I can't be the next summoner of the Gama, Ero-sennin promised me that a small relationship with the toads had been arranged and that is a piece of my father back in my life. It's that important to me."

The larger toad's chest swelled with pride. All of the Gama were proud to be associated to Minato Namikaze. To have a chance to bond with the last Namikaze was a great honor that set them above the rest of the Gama, one they would not disgrace.

A heavy paw landed on his shoulder nearly folding the legs of the smaller human.

"I'm told that you want to learn how to fight toad style," the towering brawler croaked out. Naruto nodded and briefly explained his intentions for his personal fighting style, both toads nodding as they listened along. When he finished, they looked at each other and said together, "The Gamatetsu."

Naruto seemed perplexed. "Isn't that your name?" he asked, his knifed hand indicating the shorter of the two. Gamaken's rumbling laughter shook the earth.

"Naruto-sama, nii-san's fighting style is how he earned his name. Once you learn it, you'll understand why he is referred to as the Iron Battle Toad of Mount Myoboku."

They would spend the remainder of the training session doing light contact sparring so that his new Gama-sensei could evaluate where his skill level resided. Gamaken plopped down along the treeline and watched the two jockeying about with a warm smile on his face.

The brothers Gama had begun their journey.

~III~

A heated shower (with the ever helpful Naruko) and a hearty breakfast only served to increase Naruto's great mood. His combat training with Gamatetsu confirmed that his style would merge well with the toad's hardy juggernaut fighting katas. Starting Monday, the Brothers would be reverse summoning him to Mount Myoboku where his training equipment lay, and they would begin training his skin in what he was calling one of the Five Venom forms.

Naruto didn't even know that certain frogs and toads could be poisonous, and he promptly set a clone loose on the library to study up on it.

 _~ Future Fuuinjutsu Training Montage ~_

Over breakfast, Naruto discovered plenty more to keep his clones busy as they delved into his growing Sealing library. With several books on calligraphy, medical and biological systems, and the Konoha Fuuinjutsu encyclopedia test set, he would have his clones read through them all in four separate sessions.

The first read was for general knowledge. The second would be to foster retention. The third was to generate understanding of the material and the fourth read was for familiarity and detailed comprehension. No actual sealing work was to be done in the small apartment as seals gone wrong tended to have catastrophic results.

Instead, all of them would turn to mastering calligraphy and improving his scrawling handwriting. Making sure to buy plenty of cheap ink from stores other than the A.S.C. (Abe-san wouldn't let him pay for anything and Naruto hated feeling like a leech), the clones would spend the rest of the following week correcting every flaw in his technique then hammering the process into his memory until it was all ingrained. Thousands upon thousands of pages found their way into the trash but, by the time he started meeting with his team again, Naruto's handwriting had gone from barely legible to near-textbook perfect print.

He was ready to get serious about studying _fuuinjutsu_ and working his way through each tome on his own.

Each double-sized book followed a similar format. The first five-hundred pages were straight material covering the core subject of the tome. What followed came as a detailed glossary explaining each term and definition, followed in turn by whatever relevant appendices were needed to expound upon critical subject matter in enough detail to help work through the material of the book. A large practice section assigned to each chapter of the book came next and the final section was a thousand question test meant to be taken by the student.

Each tome referenced an official test he would need to request in order to become certified. He'd have to ask Hokage-jiji about that once he could bring himself to speak with him again. Discovering the A.S.C. still rankled him a bit, and the fact that the Hokage more than likely knew about it, but he would have to swallow his pride to get his certification.

As to the practice material, Naruto never allowed himself or his clones to write in the workbook or test sections, instead preferring to have clones copy the relevant material on blank sheets (more calligraphy practice) so that he could complete the necessary task, and have it graded. His clones were very intolerant concerning mistakes and anything less than a perfect score meant remedial work and retest.

They refused to cover the test questions until he was able to answer everything correctly, something that took months and months of dedicated study (eventually). It was a fortunate thing that he only had a few re-tests during the first few books of the series.

From the first week of November to the end of March, Naruto would work his way through each of the ten volumes in the Konoha series. Typically, his course study would take a few weeks followed by a day or two of remedial exercises and the exam. In tandem with his work, he continued to have clones reading both past and upcoming tomes to refresh the data in his mind building on his retention. April would begin the real challenge as he started digging into the seven tomes his mother left as his partial inheritance.

 _~ Future Fuuinjutsu Training Montage – Kai! ~_

Working in his extracurricular studying with his normal team work and personal training, his _Fuuinjutsu_ work eventually far outstripped his rapidly-improving _Tetsuken_ development, even with Gai's help learning Krav Maga following the Nami incident. Their return in November did bring with it several pleasant additions outside of his martial training.

Naruto was able to pick up and enhance his matching gauntlet with seals similar to his left-handed one. Now with a complete set, he was ready to go "full battle toad" as he called it, minus the knobbed spikes on the gloves of his daily sparring partner.

Understanding what happened to Tenten, her return also seemed to come with a lighter heart. She'd been part of the final wave to clear out Gato's goons and the mission had done her a lot of good. Vindication, even if it didn't come with forgiveness (Inari and his mother wanted nothing to do with the entire wave of Konoha shinobi), was a healing balm all its own.

It also returned Hinata and her team meaning that his dark-haired friend returned no matter how strained she seemed to be around Ino. What was worse, this odd tinting of their friendship seemed to be mutual much to the blond boy's confusion. Didn't they like each other in the academy? Even less understandable was the damn fox's constant laughing every time he tried to figure out the dysfunction between the two girls.

 **~ Current Time: Monday Morning, Training Area Ten ~**

"Welcome back, Team Ten." Asuma seemed rather rested and pleased with himself upon their return from authorized downtime. Naruto's head tilted to a jaunty angle as he considered the contented glow of his sensei, the lit cigarette notwithstanding. Shikamaru took pity on him.

"Kurenai-sensei agreed to go on a date with him once she returned from Nami." Even though Asuma's smug grin imploded, his good mood remained for the morning training session and the afternoon's D-ranks.

Time flew by all the same and restlessness began to settle into Team Ten with their thirtieth consecutive D-ranked mission in the bag. Figuring he tortured his team enough, Asuma figured it was time for a change. The Konoha Chunin Exams were still several months away but his Genin would need lots of preparation between now and then.

~III~

Jiraiya sighed in disgust even as he flopped down onto the worn couch hugging the wall in his sensei's office. "I don't see what the big deal is over this. It happened so long ago," he whined sounding like the petulant twelve-year-old he pretended to be most of the time. "Can't we just ignore it?"

Hiruzen was not amused.

"And that is precisely why this is a problem now." The older man was waving a rolled missive sealed in red wax bearing a flowered crest. "You never took any of your actions outside of your network seriously and now," he waggled the scroll angrily before slamming it down onto his desk, "your _actions_ have come back to bite another shinobi of this village squarely in the…" the ancient man nearly swore which raised a few hidden ANBU eyebrows, "… _pooper_!"

Jiraiya whistled appreciatively. The old man must have been ticked to go to that extreme. Would he be half as pissed if it affected anyone other than Naruto? The self-proclaimed super pervert couldn't say for sure, but he was having a hard time getting worked up over skipping out on some promise to a horny kunoichi from that flyspeck village over two decades ago. She hadn't even cared about a duel until after they'd finished those three bottles of plum sake and stumbled out of bed the next morning with massive hangovers and no clothes.

His face tinged a rosy hue at the memory of her overdeveloped curves. The kunoichi from there were nicely heeled so Naruto would end up with a real beauty on his hands if she was anything like Marika. He remembered the brown-haired amazon fondly despite the drama.

"Am I supposed to feel horrible about my past?" Jiraiya's honest confusion nearly made the Sandaime Hokage explode with rage. The insensitive man clearly felt no empathy.

"Feel bad? Apparently, that is beyond you, which is why you will be there to personally watch your 'godson's' fall from grace." Jiraiya's face blanched to a sickly green color. "You will take responsibility for this, Jiraiya, one way or another. If you're going to sacrifice him to pay your debt, then you will be there witness it first-hand."

Jiraiya's grumbling followed him up from the couch and out of the office window, once again to the nearest bar.

A certain cat-faced ANBU was writhing in her hiding spot counting the minutes until she could flee and find her best female friend. Anko was _not_ going to enjoy this work story. If that woman didn't get off her ass, she was going to lose him forever.

~III~

"Why are we doing this again?" Pregnant pause. "Over." Naruto sighed as no response returned over the headset.

"Sigh. _Chicken Little_ , this is _Dirt Dauber_ … _Kami_ this is stupid… Why are we doing this again? Over." He tried to ignore Ino's incessant giggling in the background.

" _Dirt Dauber_ , this is _Chicken Little_ , focus on the mission and we'll get it over with quickly, Over." Naruto groaned, released his resistance seals, then dashed down a very familiar-looking alley. The brown cat with the bright red ribbon meowled in terror as a multi-colored streak scooped her up and deposited it into a waiting cat carrier before there was even time to claw the Genin bloody. Throwing the headset into a jacket pocket, Naruto leaned forward into his blinking team leader's face and growled out his mission report.

"This is _Dirt Dauber_ , mission accomplished, over." The angry blond sauntered off to the Hokage's Tower not even looking back at his other still giggling teammate.

Hands thrust firmly in his pockets with a hard set and uncompromising jaw, Naruto sauntered with the single-minded purpose of closing out this mission as quickly as possible before drowning his sorrows in a steaming bowl or twelve of Ichiraku's. His disgruntlement was disturbed by the rhythmic patter of Ino's sandals on stone and the corresponding meowing of a cat being gently bounced in a pet carrier. He found the sound humorous but tried his best not to smile at the mental image of the angry / terrified feline growling angrily while its body bounced with each of Ino's hurried steps.

He failed.

Ino's still giggling persona caught up a moment later. "Wait up, Dirt-." He whirled on her with a finger pointed in her direction forcing her to pause while he glared menacingly at her.

"Don't you start with me to." Ino smiled and nodded her head as she quick-paced herself to walk side-by-side.

"I have a proposition for you."

Now Naruto realized that Ino was a beautiful young girl and she was most likely going to be absolutely stunning when she fully matured. Despite trying to keep his distance from Konohans in general after their stint in Istoria, he found himself gradually being sucked into Ino's and Hinata's orbits no matter how prickly he tried to be. The ANBU trials didn't help as he found himself glancing at her from the corner of his eyes wondering how her recovery was going. That said, the opening from that statement was too good to pass up.

"Why Ino, I never figured you for that kind of girl, but I'd be honored - once we're both old enough." The girl's gaping mouth and scarlet cheeks, followed promptly by a half-hearted slap to his bicep, suggested his glib comment struck home.

Ino was a scrapper, however, and didn't want to be outdone in the flirting department.

"Maybe after the Chunin Exams next summer we can talk but, for now, I want to talk strictly training and what we could do for each other."

Naruto actually blinked as her comment registered. Once his mind rebooted and scrubbed away the image of a mostly naked Ino laying on his chest in a dark inn deep in Istoria, he blinked away his daze (while wiping away the slight nosebleed) and turned to his shadowing teammate noticing her satisfied smirk.

"I'd like to help you with your sensor training in exchange for more help with my taijutsu. I don't want to lag in the combat department, and I want to be able to defend myself if we ever get split up." He nodded appreciatively at her decision. "I refuse to be the damsel in distress anymore."

Naruto looked at her seriously and, without skipping a beat, responded with, "Tomorrow morning, my place, zero-five-hundred."

At first, she balked. It took all of two seconds before her sharp mind made a quick decision and her mouth closed with an audible click.

"Five it is handsome." Naruto's brow furled in confusion long after Ino's smiling face peeked into the carrier to check on their bounty, her soft voice making pleasant cooing sounds to pacify the still disgruntled feline. Trying not to notice how the light played off Ino's shiny coat of platinum blond hair, he turned back to the approaching Hokage Tower and started sorting out a starter training program for the scrappy female.

Shikamaru observed their interaction before groaning out his tenth " _Troublesome_ " of the day. Asuma could only chuckle as the four made their way to the mission hall where a frantic Madame Shijimi awaited the return of her "pumpkin."

~ III ~

"Well done, Team Asuma." The three Genin standing at attention blinked in surprise. "Your team has more than met the minimum mission requirements to be considered a 'seasoned shinobi team' and, as such, have earned the right to bear your sensei's name." Ino seemed pleased but the other two varied between lazy indifference and blatant apathy. Hiruzen was at a loss for words matching Iruka's muted concern.

Deciding to move on, Hiruzen held up another scroll from the C-rank section of scrolls. "I believe this one best suits your team's infiltration and information gathering skills. Good luck, Team Asuma."

They bowed, Naruto a bit stiffly, before turning to file out of the mission room. Iruka sighed heavily at the tense aloofness in his former student.

"I know, Iruka-kun. Perhaps his heart will soften once the pain of betrayal has dimmed with time." The ancient leader of Konoha turned to greet the next group of Genin arriving for their round of chores, er, important D-rank missions.

Outside the tower, Asuma broke open the string seal and glanced through the assignment with a puzzled look on his face. His three Genin, once standing off a respectful distance, began to crowd around him so they could find the source of his puzzlement.

"Looks like we'll be traveling plus-one on this one," Asuma whispered almost painfully.

"Wow! Jiraiya of the Sannin is going with us?" Ino sounded impressed despite Asuma's growing sense of dread. The Toad Sage still held a healthy grudge against their sensei and with good reason. Asuma learned from his father that he'd nearly killed the Sannin's adopted godson, the most terrifying secret he'd ever heard.

"You all have the rest of the week to prepare for this. I suggest you all read up as much as you can about Nadeshiko Village before we go. This is billed as a diplomatic support mission for the Toad Sage who will be trying to win them to our alliance, meaning we _all_ need to be on our best behavior." His eyes took in all three Genin.

"Pack for three weeks and be prepared to meet the Sage at our eastern gate next Monday at zero-six. Do _not_ be late." He vanished in the usual puff of obnoxious grey smoke leaving his students to swat the offending cloud away.

"Troublesome," erupted from Shikamaru even as he shuffled off to speak with his father. Naruto's strength was not going to help them here and he needed a fresh opinion.

~ III ~

The Rusty Kunai was not a high-brow club or brothel. Life's seedier shadow embraced the entire establishment, it's swarthy shinobi clientele adding to the dismal atmosphere and sticky table tops. More often than not, its members embraced the shadows choosing to drink silent toasts to their fallen comrades and loved ones. When sounds other than clinking saucers or cups intruded, it was usually accompanied by doleful show tunes and semi-sober chorusing. The Rusty Kunai was a living shrine to the departed, a place of painful memories. The happy had no place there hence the fact that the raging kunoichi looking to murder the snow-capped pervert was in the perfect backdrop for the act.

Seated at the bar and well-lost in his cups, Jiraiya did not feel the hateful emotions directed his way nor the see the fist that sent him sprawling to the disgusting floor of the The Kunai. Rubbing his jaw with one hand, he glanced up bleary-eyed into the scowling visage of Anko Mitarashi, her fist still clenched and bruised from greeting his rather rugged jaw.

Behind her stood another lovely kunoichi of flowing purple tresses bracketed by the ebony mane of a crimson-eyed beauty that stole his breath. Yugao and Kurenai looked to be equally disturbed by whatever egregious act he'd recently committed so he opted to soothe the savage female beast with witty charm.

"If you wanted a reason to kiss me, there's no need to bruise my handsome face first. We can skip straight to the appetizer if you like." It was delivered with the same roguish charm he'd used to beguile many a fierce female before, so it came as a huge surprise when the angry purplette roared, drew a kunai in each hand, then tried to lunge his way. Whether her target was either his heart or his groin, he could not tell.

If not for the two (still) arguably angry women behind her grabbing her around the waist and torso, he might have died on that floor, his blood mingling with the spilled sake and other congealing liquids. His charming smile fell as he saw the tears falling from her eyes and her roaring hatred petered out into growling sighs and grunts as she heaved against the restraining arms of her friends.

With a sigh, he rose from the floor and tried to brush off the new stains to his attire with calloused palms. Deliberately taking the time to stand fully erect and meet her glare with heated indifference, he grabbed his bottle and a fresh cup turning to wander off into the bar for a different perch but not before turning to impart one final jab.

"Why are you so angry with me? You are the one that gave up any claim to his heart. If you want to be angry, find a mirror." And with that, the rumpled Sannin turned his back on the lunging woman to seek a darkened corner of solitude.

A very miserable Anko Mitarashi dropped her kunai in defeat and sought the nearest bottle of sake to drown her own misery in.

~III~

Fed, showered, and snuggled into bed, Naruto closed his eyes and waited for sleep to claim him. He was looking forward to his visit tonight.

When he stood and stretched in the soothing purple cavern that resembled the _Umihebi_ grotto, Naruto took one casual stroll to make sure it was large enough to accommodate a fully-grown member of the species. With several mental pushes, he forced the wall out another thirty meters and then duplicated another perch to host her brother.

Despite their warning, he was determined to finish his solution before the Chunin Exams.

 **"I haven't seen you in a while, maggot."** Naruto ignored the jab at his expense. There was a lot going on at the moment but he'd make up the lack of attention soon enough.

"I have a gift for you tonight, Kyuubi." The bijuu raised an eyebrow now that its interest was peaked. The cushion was an enormous boon when it came to comfort, one that almost raised his status from complete abhoration to mostly-disliked. To the Kyuubi, this was monumental progress for any meat-sack. Sucking up at this point would garner him little extra prestige but the All-Powerful Kyuubi would indulge the "Jailer" just this once.

Slapping his palms together into a Ram seal, Naruto's eyes closed tightly as his brow began to furrow and sweat. At first, nothing appeared to happen and the Kyuubi's snort began to turn into a hearty chuckle at the perceived failure. Then the entire cavern began to vibrate and tremble as tons of earth began to shift and move about just beyond the now worried bijuu's sight.

The ground behind the chakra construct's cherished bed pillow fell away before sloping upwards, the tunneling earth exploding outward as a mouth opened up to reveal a clear evening sky and enormous trees. It was nighttime beyond what appeared to be a cave with another set of hardened bars identical to the ones keeping the Kyuubi from his keeper. The great fox was stunned even as it carefully tread to the opening just small enough to allow the bijuu egress into the night sounds of the forest just a careful dash away.

Large slitted eyes closed in heavenly bliss as wind, what felt like actual cool air currents, rushed in and across the Kyuubi's whiskers and fur. It could smell rich, fertile earth and moisture. It was hypnotic, the sensation was heavenly and the great bijuu's body shuddered at the sensation long forgotten. Nevermind how it was possible, the great creature's heart throbbed with the ache of freedom just beyond its reach.

That pleasant sensation turned to bitter rage as it turned from the barred opening and growled at the smiling human.

 **"Why would you torment me like this? Why show me freedom only to take it from me?!"** The growl surging from the enormous fox's chest made every bone in Naruto's avatar tremble.

"My gift is beyond those bars, Kyuubi-san." A pair of enormous crimson orbs grew larger trying to grasp the advantage the devious human might seek in such a gesture, its ancient mind finding little to glean.

 **"This makes no sense! You would set me free?"** The blond human shook his head from side to side.

"I cannot do that, Kyuubi-san and you know it. Too much rides on me being able to keep you from destroying Konoha and our lives both depend on me keeping you tethered to the seal until it's our time to go, unless I find a way to set you free without killing us both."

Kurama rocked back onto his haunches in shock. **_'He knows.'_**

"What I can do is allow you to roam beyond this cage. It's not _real,_ per se, but it's as real as I can make it. If you're interested in making a deal with me, that is." The great bijuu's head tilted sideways very much like a normal fox.

 **"What do you want, maggot?"** Naruto grinned feeling he had the hook inserted for the first time.

"A partner, for now. I'm willing to earn your friendship over time." Kurama scoffed thinking nothing with humans was that simple. "You're the only being that can't leave me and we've been stuck together from the beginning. You've helped me, whether you wanted to or not, and I see no reason not to help you in what little ways that I can." He motioned to the barred exit. "This is one of the ways that I can help you."

The towering fox swung its muzzle around to take in the very active night of Naruto's mindscape, its great eyes closing as a gentle breeze of clean forest air wafted past its face. He could hear owls and other nocturnal animals, its mouth watering at the sounds and smells of any fox's favorite prey hopping about in mindless contentment.

"Of course you'll need to be tethered to the seal. I haven't found a way to prevent that yet." Kyuubi's great head nodded once.

"But I'm willing to give you freedom to roam and stretch your legs. Perhaps you'll be able to indulge in some forgotten habits?" It wasn't really a question but the great bijuu's chest was pounding. If only the measly human understood how significant his offering was to someone deprived of total freedom for over ten human decades.

It was like nirvana served on a platter of fresh venison.

 **"And your demands?"** Kurama hadn't even turned from the tempting portal just beyond reach.

"Only one: Civility towards the _Umihebi_. At least one of them will be visiting or perhaps residing here from time to time and I don't want you molesting them in any way." Naruto swept one arm to the stone basins and water pools he'd created earlier.

Kurama considered the request and tried to hide a smile. The boy was more like his parents than he realized, their overly-caring natures placing the comfort of others before themselves. Perhaps this one could be trusted. Perhaps-.

 ** _'No! One step at a time.'_**

 **"I accept your terms. Bind me however you need to."** The great bijuu didn't want to sound desperate but freedom, no matter how limited, was too tempting a fruit to pass up.

Naruto made the same hand sign and three things happened. A collar of black silk lined with golden seals on all sides appeared around the fox's neck, which elicited a disgusted clucking of teeth from the large being. Then the large bars blocking the exit withdrew into the earthen floor. Finally, the fox took several tentative steps up the short incline until its head broached the entryway and caught a full muzzle of the crisp night air, its steps pausing just long enough to revel in the full breeze.

With a howl that shook the heavens, the great Kyuubi no Youko churned the rich soil as it raced off into trees large enough to make it seem like a normal-sized fox.

~III~

When her alarm went off at four-thirty in the morning, Ino assumed the world was ending. No sane person in their right mind _ever_ rolled out of bed that early. With an angry scowl to her heart-shaped face, the bedraggled blond fumbled with the squawking box until she'd hit enough buttons to silence its angry howl.

Tumbling back under the warmth of her blankets, her mind wandered back to the golden skin tone of her blond teammate and a lazy smile spread across her face.

It was as she pictured his rugged, smiling, kissable lips that something clicked in the back of her head and one eye shot open. Flipping her head around, the clock now read four-thirty-four and she winced in agony. She'd almost forgot. She volunteered for this.

Throwing off the warm shield of her covers, the bleary-eyed blond staggered to her small bathroom, brushed her teeth, then ran a brush over her hair long enough to tame it into a ponytail. The rest became a blur as she threw off her pajamas, shrugged on enough workout clothes to be decent (noting the growing spillage from her sports bra), then grabbed her prepared workout duffle as she stumbled down the stairs.

A quick kiss to the cheek of her chuckling father as he sipped his morning tea and she was out the door. By the time she crossed the village and jogged up to the street outside of Naruto's crappy apartment, she was wide awake and he was standing outside glancing down at his equally rundown watch.

Her wincing smile did little to alleviate the raised eyebrow of disappointment.

"G'morning, Ino." She chuckled weakly and responded as a clone popped into existence and offered to take her bag upstairs.

"Workout rule #1: For every minute you're late, we add another lap to the warmup." He turned and started walking further south into the slums. Glancing at her watch Ino noted it was three after five. Hopefully whatever training field they were running around wasn't going to be too big.

She was cursing his name by the time they finished her second lap around the village and resolved never to be late again.

Ino picked up a few more training rules before the morning was done, such as, "Never stop until you can't go anymore," and her personal favorite of, "Never leave a set unfinished (even if you have to rest for a few minutes to do every rep)."

"One-ninety-eight… one-ninety-nine… two hundred!" The exhausted kunoichi fell backwards onto the grass, her hands clasped behind her head and her knees clamped together and bent while he held her feet firmly to the ground. For some reason, she imagined her abdomen sore for different reasons when she finally got a chance to get hot and sweaty with Naruto. Her abs were convulsing in a very unpleasant manner and oxygen was at a premium for the moment.

Naruto leaned forward to gently pat her tummy, an action that brought extra heat to her already flushed face. She was quite happy that the steam rising from her body hid her shock.

"Soon this will be a mild warm up and you'll be knocking out twice the amount." He gently tapped the side of her thighs and offered a hand up. "We'll do this exercise twice this week and then, once we get back from Nadeshiko, we'll up it to three times a week."

Ino swayed and had to grip his shoulder until the world stopped spinning. Naruto's face wrinkled in concern.

"Let's get you cooled down and some water in you. Once you're steady again, you can jump in my shower and get cleaned up."

She nodded weakly and leaned on his shoulder for the walk back to his place, her exhausted mind enjoying the warmth of his skin against her face. It was while she was clinging to his shirt that she noticed he wasn't soaked with sweat like she was, and it perturbed her. In helping her correct her neglected physical training, Naruto had held back.

"How (pant)… is it that (puff)… you're not even tired?" That was the extent of her speaking powers at the moment.

Naruto simply held up the back of his left hand so she could see the glowing seal on it. "I'm not tired because my normal workout is three times yours and I use resistance seals. They're better than weight seals, or even gravity seals. They force every part of your body to work instead of the parts made to oppose gravitational vectors pulling you downward."

She blinked away the idea of Naruto using complicated terms like "gravitational vectors."

What followed was a short description on the three types of seals and how they worked. By the time he'd finished, both were seated at his small table while the clone from earlier served up heaping helpings of breakfast. Fluffy eggs, oats, bacon, toast, milk, water, and orange juice covered the table in platters and carafes.

~*I*~

Anko watched the two teenagers trek upstairs to Naruto's apartment. She smiled briefly glad to see that their growing relationship was moving forward. He deserved a little happiness in his life before-."

Her face twisted up into an angry grimace. Jiriaya and the Hokage were planning to throw him another pile of shit and she couldn't have that. He had a right to know what he was going in to. He had a right to have a choice in whom he loved, well, as much as he could anyway. Deep inside she realized how hypocritical her words were, but this was beyond acceptable. This was heinous and unforgivable. Digging deep into her conviction, she made up her mind and gathered her courage.

Anko stepped from the shadows across the street and started moving towards the lower courtyard of Naruto's apartment building only to stutter-step to a stop.

Appearing out of thin air was Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin, the Great Toad Sage. "Shit," she mumbled under her breath.

"That's as far as you go, Anko. Don't make me hurt you."

"Let me by, Jiraiya. The boy deserves to know the truth." The massive shoulders of the Sannin heaved once casually.

"He deserves to follow the orders of his Hokage. That's all the honor a shinobi ever needs." She scoffed loudly.

"No matter how much it benefits your sorry ass?" Anko was getting angry again like she was in the bar the other day.

"No matter what befalls the whole situation."

"You self-righteous bastard!" The insult didn't appear to faze him. Jiraiya had been called worse before after all.

~*I*~

It was a veritable feast for the starving girl, and she dug in wholeheartedly. Pretty amazing how working yourself to death made everything taste fantastic.

"So, Naruto," she began with a tentative grin, "what's a girl got to do in order to get her own set of resistance seals?" Her blond teammate blinked then blushed before standing and peeling off his shirt, something that dropped her jaw as she ogled every etched line of his brick-hard torso. Naruto pointed to another diamond shaped seal exactly in the middle of his chest.

"There are five seals needed to make a complete set. You've seen the ones on my hands and feet, right?" She nodded trying to hide her nosebleed. "The first four are tied to tenketsu but the fifth seal, the regulator," he pushed chakra into the seal on his chest and one of the glowing strings of characters winked out becoming dark ink, "is tied to a major chakra coil, one of the eight gates to be exact. It links all five and regulates your chakra to increase the resistance on every tenketsu in your body. Without it, all you have are gravitational seals that affect you unevenly."

~*I*~

"Last chance, out of the way." Anko was beyond common courtesy at this point. She'd given up on respecting the ancient relic of the Third Shinobi War once he chose his own life of comfort over the life of his godson. As far as she was concerned, he'd burned what few bridges of civility the kunoichi had left.

"Not gonna happen, girlie. This goes beyond you and me and comes from the top. He's going. He's fighting. It's final." Anko snarled in contempt.

"If you were half the man you run around the elemental nations claiming to be, you would have settled this debt with Nadeshiko years, hell, decades ago! Pushing your debt off on Naruto and calling it some 'honorable promise between warriors' is just bullshit and you know it!"

He couldn't argue that fact, but it was too late to do anything about it now. He'd heard that Marika was dying, some rare blood disease among the Nadeshiko. She might have a few years left but that was it. Besides, she was too old to have kids now and that was the only reason for the stringent challenge rules: procreation.

He'd stalled hoping time and fate would lend a hand and some sick bastard-in-the-sky kami had delivered. No sense crying over it now.

"Konoha needs the alliance with Nadeshiko Village. Nadeshiko Village needs a strong heir to continue their line of succession. It's a sweet deal and Naruto gets a woman that will be devoted to him until his lights dim for the last time."

"But she won't love him!" the angry Snake Mistress roared out. The Toad Sage merely shrugged as if none of that mattered.

"What do you care? Didn't you say, 'he wasn't good enough for you' anyway?" The air quotes didn't lessen the emotional slap that made the purplette flinch. "Don't tell me you forgot that part because he didn't."

"Everyone keeps reminding me of that!" Jiraiya's eyebrow rose in amusement. "I'm planning to make it up to him! _Soon_!"

"Sorry, Snake Hime, but it looks like you're out of time." She charged blindly then, rage and bitterness having taken over. As the kunai sailed past the leaning Sannin's head, he stepped forward to sling an arm across her chest to catch the kunoichi in a modified clothesline. As he pushed backwards with his arm, almost casually, the world tumbled into a roiling, retch-inducing whirl of chakra.

~*I*~

Ino's face flushed as she considered what was required. The spot on his chest, the Harm Gate, he'd called it, on her body would be nestled deep in her cleavage which meant she'd be mostly exposed to him. Could she be that bold?

"I understand something like that might be too much to ask of a casual friend so why don't we just-."

"I'll do it!" Her outburst stopped him cold.

"Ino?" He wanted to be absolutely sure and not get pounded, or worse arrested, for giving her the seal she was asking for.

"I said…" she paused to take a deep breath, "I'll do it." She stood up to stare him squarely in the eyes. "What do you need me to do to get ready?" Her hands were clenched into tight fists.

~*I*~

When the world stopped spinning, Jiraiya flung the still growling woman away from him. He'd been aiming for somewhere, anywhere really, on the far side of the village, the Hokage Monument looming over his left shoulder and the northwestern wall of the village towered behind his growling opponent.

"I've said this before, but it needs retelling. You had your-" His words got cut off as the Sannin's meaty palm shot up to catch her fist, his body unmoving.

"Save it, perv. You've got nothing I want to hear anyway." Jiraiya pulled on the fist in his right hand sending her arm high as he ducked his shoulder slamming it into her chest. The inner perv in him chuckled at the blunted impact of her chest against his shoulder, smirking idly to himself as the now furious young lady flickered away to deliver a strong kick to the middle of his back sending the already off-kilter Sannin rolling forward.

Glancing up once he'd stabilized his body, Jiraiya's eyes narrowed at the falling shadow above his head having no time to enjoy the view of Anko's falling heel drop. It seemed like she was using her revealing clothing and firm body to distract him. The problem was that it was working.

He leapt away just before the ground cratered, dust flying into the air and obscuring his view. It was a good thing that the old Hattori compound was largely abandoned, the few remaining clansmen and women moving to a smaller mid-rise complex in the market district where they continued the family's millennia-old sword-making tradition.

"[ _Katon: Ryūka no Jutsu!]"_ rang out from inside the settling cloud of dust and grit.

' _Damnit! Forget she was a flame wielder!'_ Not believing he had the time to fly through the handseals for his next jutsu, the toad sage churned a huge amount of chakra into water, puffed up his cheeks, and exhaled for all he was worth. _'[Suiton: Suishouha!]'_

His mouth formed a large "O" as a solid stream of water shot out, spread out to a meter in width, then met the streaking dragon of pure fire barreling towards him. The resultant steam blanketed the entire area forcing the combatants to step back from the bursting heat.

Jiraiya immediately flashed a tiger seal and vanished from view. [ _Meisaigakure no Jutsu!_ ]

When the steam dissipated, Anko's eyes narrowed at the sudden lack of a towering, white-haired shinobi. Nipping her thumb, she flashed through five hand seals and hissed out her summon's name, an enormous dark blue viper appearing in a rush of smoke coiled around Anko's body.

Anko giggled. "Hey, Aki. It's good to see you too hun, but we need to hunt sweetie." The snake perked up, its tongue already tasting the air. "We're hunting toad sage today and I'm _very_ hungry."

The snake affectionately nuzzling the deadly kunoichi told the Sannin all he needed to know. This pile of scales would defend its mistress violently and a big brawl wasn't something he could afford right now. The small horned ridges by the tip of its nose also meant big trouble; he wouldn't be able to hide from its keen senses. Jiraiya started flipping through an impressive number of hand seals as he prepared two of his favorites.

The eight-meter snake uncoiled with its head close to the ground as is slowly slithered forward in search of its prey.

~*I*~

"Um, I need clean dry skin to apply the ink and I'll need access to your hands, feet and-." His head nodded in the direction of her chest.

"Okay then." She walked over to pick up her duffle then headed down the hall to his shower. The clone that served breakfast merely clapped him on the shoulder before gathering up the empty plates and scattered mess.

With a deep breath, Naruto started to prepare for the process laying out a heavy blanket on the floor to make her comfortable and setting his sealing vials and brushes out on the table next to where he'd be working. As an afterthought, he turned up the now working heat in his apartment enough to make it warm for a normal person, well, someone not born with the Kyuubi inside them since the fox kept him flush with body heat.

~*I*~

Jiraiya sped from the nearest cluster of small trees, his right palm slamming down onto the dry earth sending out an undulating ripple in waves. As the ground heaved and bowed, it began to melt into sludge and muck sucking and pulling at the large snake's body as it dragged the summons beneath the surface.

"Aki-chan!" Anko's panicked response bordered on the extreme. [ _Katon: Ketatamashi Makai!_ ]

Puffing out her chest and nearly losing the cover of her trench in the process, Anko exhaled until a rod of fire burst from her mouth taking the form of a flaming spear. Grabbing onto the object before it could fall to the earth, she lunged forward one huge step heaving the burning javelin with all her might. Unable to move for fear of releasing the drowning viper, the spear (traveling at inhuman speeds) took the Sannin directly in the chest knocking him up off his feet as his body burst into a cloud of smoke.

A panting Anko blinked in shock even as she released her summons back to its home realm, the creature now partially trapped and submerged far enough to show only its nostrils. She'd gone through a good deal of chakra with those last two jutsus and she was beginning to feel the drain.

She caught just enough of a blur to bring her arms in to block the hard kick directed at her ribs from her rear guard, the blow bruising her chakra enforced arms and sending her into the nearest treeline.

Jiraiya charged in after her so she kept moving changing her free-tumbling flight into tactical evasion.

[ _Hebi Ninpou: Sen'ei Jashu!_ ] Even as she loosed the summons, Anko leaped upwards and away from her pursuer. From the corner of her eye, she witnessed her dark green constrictors entangle the stronger nin's ankles, legs, arms and upper body.

Not bothering to make sure the Sannin was paralyzed and bound, she dashed off to the _Slums_ to deliver her warning.

~*I*~

Kneeling on the floor Naruto felt himself ready to conduct the procedure. He was not, however, ready for Ino when she emerged from the bathroom.

She'd re-wrapped her lower body and donned her usual purple skirt and spandex shorts. Around her tiny waist she wore her forehead protector like a belt and her long hair draped her shoulders down to her lower back. Only a towel, pressed modestly to her chest, barred the rest of her figure from his eyes.

The two locked eyes and stared until Naruto's gulp caught her attention and she broke eye contact. In a heated blush, Naruto motioned to the blanket and asked her to make herself comfortable. While she was doing that, he fled into the bedroom to retrieve a pillow for her neck and head.

Once Ino was on the blanket and situated, Naruto gently took her feet and placed them flat on the floor so that he could see the tops.

"It's very important that you hold still Ino. Sealing can be dangerous if the seals themselves aren't perfect." She nodded her understanding then fought for the next ten minutes not to giggle and twitch while he marked up her feet. Her sounds changed noticeably once he started blowing gently on the seals to help them dry, but he pretended not to notice.

"Okay, stay like that until I can charge the entire seal matrix." He then took one hand at a time and laid them out to the side of her body and completed the next step, her lips parting slightly once he started blowing on the backs of her hands.

"Last chance, Ino. Once I move the towel there's no turning back." Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes heavily lidded, but the young lady pushed on with a firm nod. Naruto asked for her forgiveness then straddled her midsection, his body held up above her own by his legs as his hands gently lifted the towel to lower it to her stomach. He tried not to let his eyes linger on her body despite the sharp intake of air from his teammate.

~*I*~

Anko landed on the third-floor walkway between apartments in a huff believing she'd finally given the perverted bastard the slip. With heavy steps, she bolted for her goal, apartment three-oh-two only to slide to an abrupt stop as a six-foot orange toad with blue highlights landed in front of her. She cursed despite herself.

Summoning a snake would escalate things to a deadly conflict and, even if Naruto and his teammate were the only innocents around, she couldn't risk it. Snakes and toads were mortal enemies.

Anko's tension eased slightly remembering that Naruto usually left a window open on the backside if his apartment. Turning to flank her warty nemesis, she abruptly came face-to-face with the _Gama Sannin_ and his very strong arm lock, both of their hands clamped onto the shoulders of their opponent.

"You are _not_ ruining this," the angry sage snarled.

A weary Anko Mitarashi could only snarl back.

~*I*~

Pink, erect, and perky. Naruto focused instead on the creamy expanse of skin in the direct center of her chest and placed two fingers where the soft mounds began to distort the soft epidermal layer with their generous curves. He didn't have the ability to accurately guess her measurements, but they were easily the size of his hands and well-rounded. Instead he leaned in with his brush and chakra ink once he located her rapidly-pulsing coil.

Despite Ino's best efforts, he had to pause often to allow for the rapid rise and fall of her bare chest so that the characters of the seal weren't distorted and harmful to her. Once the last character was in place, and he was sure that it was perfect, he gently blew on the ink and tried not to choke on his spit when her face blossomed a deep cherry red, her lips parted, and her sweet moan hit his ears.

He glanced up long enough to see her lower lips pinched by her teeth before returning to her goose-bump riddled skin. Setting the jar and brush aside, he lifted his left hand into a half ram sign, pushed chakra into the two fingers of his right hand as he pressed them directly beneath the seal, then whispered, " _Fuuin!_ "

The array glowed, his chakra racing through her network to link them all. Ino, not prepared for the tingling sensation arcing across her entire body, arched her back thrusting her chest up into his face with a grunt. Once the seal took effect, Naruto lifted his hand from her chest and looked up into Ino's face to make sure she was okay, the girl's eyes opening to lock with his as her heart hammered in her ears.

"All done?" she hissed out.

Unsure how she'd react, Naruto nodded quietly then reached down to lift the towel freezing as her hands clamped to either side of his head pulling his face back up to look into her own.

"Good!" Her body surged up off the floor as she smashed her lips against his frantically, almost desperately as her mouth began to work at his lips first individually then simultaneously.

Naruto's entire world froze as he melted into her embrace.

~III~

"Another denial from Konoha?" The hooded figure seated on the street-side bench didn't seem surprised in the slightest. At least she wasn't until the much taller woman wearing a skin-tight battle garment common among Nadeshiko kunoichi grunted her disbelief.

"No, My Lady. It would appear that Konoha has finally answered our challenge."

The slim figure sitting peacefully lifted her head from the peacefully eating pigeons to meet her attendant's incredulous stare with disbelief of her own. Tossing out the remaining crumbs in her outstretched hand, Lady Shizuka, heiress apparent to the Nadeshiko empire, held out her hand to take the offered missive.

Intelligent green eyes scanned the document once then twice, her mind capturing each and every stroke of the kanji heralding from the Land of Fire. It would indeed seem as if she'd get her chance to unleash pain upon the student of the man that broke her mentor's heart. He would pay for his patron's crimes.

At least Marika would be able to watch as she did so and gain some measure of honor back from the old coward. It would seem that he'd be joining the delegation.

As she rose from the bench to retrace her steps home, Shizuka couldn't help but think that sometimes patience was a virtue.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

* * *

 **[C-Rank]** **Katon: Ryūka no Jutsu** **(Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique):** The user spits flames from their mouth that, like a dragon's, quickly travel forward in a straight direction. Upon contact with a target, the affected area is engulfed in flames. Whereas the Great Fireball Technique will burn everything in the vicinity, the Dragon Fire Technique is more narrowly focused at its initial target, likened to a projectile. When first used by Sasuke Uchiha, he uses wire strings to guide the Dragon Fire Technique to his target's face. The anime later shows it burning through a line of enemies, with the flames moving from one enemy to the next. Despite these two cases, the Dragon Fire Technique seemingly does not require a medium through which to be transmitted.

 **[B-Rank]** **Hebi Ninpou: Sen'ei Jashu** **(Hidden Shadow Snake Hands):** This technique allows the user to summon snakes, usually from under the sleeve, but from other parts of their body as well, as seen when Orochimaru summoned a snake from his mouth. The snakes allow the user to attack from a fair distance, and can be used to restrict the target, or bite them with their venomous fangs. The snakes can also open their mouths to extend Kusanagi-like blades.

 **[A-Rank]** **Katon: Ketatamashi Makai** **(Fire Release: Piercing Hell Strike):** By using both hands instead of just one, the user can turn a Katon: Housenka no Jutsu into a thin compressed spear of heat and flame. The user then grabs the spear from his mouth and hurdles it towards the opponent, hopefully impaling it through their body. Even if it misses, this spear will cause the opponent to lose their breath because of the heat and may cause 2nd degree burns and dehydration. This will also evaporate any water it comes within 2 feet of.

 **[A-Rank]** **Ninpou: Meisaigakure no Jutsu** **(Hiding with Camouflage Technique):** The user controls the reflection of light around their body using chakra, causing their form, shadow, and even breathing to become invisible to the unaided eye. Because they perfectly blend in with their surroundings, the user can sneak up behind an enemy without being noticed. Only _dōjutsu_ like the Sharingan or Byakugan can see through it.

Because only the user's appearance is camouflaged, they can still be discovered through scent or the sounds they make.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: The Scales of Justice**_

Iruka stood nervously to the side of his Hokage, his arms wrapped protectively around the brace of files clutched to his chest. These were important and to lose them now, especially after ignoring the suffering of a student under his care would only compound the professional black eye of an otherwise impeccable teaching career.

The Hokage had trusted him to be impartial, to be unbiased, so that he could perhaps turn around the ongoing tragedy that was the jinchuuriki's academic profile. He trusted him to be fair-minded enough to give the boy a chance.

His trust had been clearly misplaced.

As the few remaining Council members sauntered in to take their seats, some still jubilant from a week-long celebration (longer than normal) of the recent graduating class, Iruka grimaced at their gross displays of self-congratulation. Many of them openly bragged about finally putting the demon brat in his place. Several more were planning lavish feasts this week to continue the celebration. Truly it was a time of gluttony and hubris.

It made him sick to his stomach knowing that he was unwittingly complacent in their scheme, his breakfast from an hour before trying for the third time to fight its way up as his revulsion peaked again.

As the last seat claimed its representative, each one standing patiently behind their chair awaiting the Fire Shadow's arrival, Iruka panned the crowd to see who might intercede on his behalf to help the boy. Several of the civilians were chatting amongst themselves but he ignored them outright; the vast majority of them reveled in the boy's suffering, many of their subordinates referenced directly in the two separate bundles of papers he now clutched to his chest. His one grey area came in the sometimes-confusing attitude of Mebuki Haruno, his eyes flickering to her age-lined face. She alone in her vaguely-neutral stance towards Naruto, however, did not absolve the others of their involvement. Their stink presided over ever incident of abuse at the hands of someone either directly in or affected by their circle of influence and he hoped to make them pay for it.

With that ringing conviction, he turned his attention to the shinobi side of the Council.

Tsume-san might stand by Naruto as she never openly lashed out at him, her clan losing only a few members in the early fight against the Kyuubi. He was fairly certain that the Ino-Shika-Cho trio would weigh in if asked, especially since Inoichi had aggressively defended the boy on more than one occasion staving off Danzo's attempts to annex the child under his care.

That thought sent a shudder down his spine as his gaze passed over the mummified shinobi. The warhawk's placid stare never flickered, never flinched. It was… unnatural.

Iruka never knew how to read the Aburame or Hyuuga Clan heads. Both seemed closed off entirely to him, almost like unemotional zombies. At least he knew the Hyuuga were motivated by political leverage so, in the event that either the Uzumaki or Namikaze Clans were to make a comeback, he felt certain the weighty Hyuuga might lean in if only to gain favor with the newest clan of note.

His musings faded as the Hokage stepped into the room sending a comforting nod his way. It wasn't every day that your Hokage asked you to make enemies of nearly every civilian clan in the village.

As the most powerful shinobi in the village took a seat, the political dignitaries of Konoha settled into their respective spots and dug in for what they assumed would be an average night of backstabbing and position grubbing. As the room stilled, Iruka took several deep breaths and tried to picture them all in their underwear.

The only one remotely appealing turned out to be Tsume Inuzuka. The rest simply made him shudder.

"As many of you are aware," the Sandaime began, "our most recent graduating class has been turned loose on the shinobi population of Konoha." Many of the Council, even those with grown children seemed overly ecstatic.

"Unfortunately, some questionable behavior has come to light within our academic body and, as the headmaster of the shinobi educational program I am ultimately responsible for whatever happens there. That does not mean that I will be taking full and sole responsibility for it, however.

"Here to enlighten the Council on what we've discovered is our senior instructor, Iruka Umino." The scarred teacher stepped forward and began handing out annotated sheets with notes in red.

"Once he's finished with his presentation, I will be explaining exactly what will be happening next."

The dark tone in the Hokage's voice made several of the sitting Council members shift uncomfortably just as wave after wave of killing intent from the shinobi side of the Council began to zero in on several specific members of the Civilian Administrative Committee for Internal Affairs.

"It has come to the attention of administration that certain procedures and evaluations have been compromised and altered to present false paper trails. It has also come to the attention of cognizant authority that numerous shinobi-in-training have been irreparably harmed through neglect and miss-training, thereby jeopardizing their ability to function cognitively in the field. In front of you are three years' worth of documentation citing specific and numerous examples of these misdeeds and the supporting interviews with T&I corroborating the involvement of external parties guilty in high-level treason against this village, the shinobi responsible for its safety, and the Hokage." Many were now squirming uncomfortably in their seats as the Chunin prepared to continue.

"Now, I'd like to turn your attention to Appendix C, the Konoha Shinobi Code and the penalty for…"

By the end of the meeting, all of the clan heads would be aware of just how much shorting Naruto's education affected their own children meaning more than a few seats on the Council would open up for election on short notice.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** In the early stages of the Chunin Exam Arc, we find Konoha looking to shore itself up with allies. Will it be enough and what price is Konoha willing to pay to gain these allies?

 _Ino, towel once again firmly in place, taps the writer's shoulder and hands him and angrily-buzzing phone._

Excuse me, it appears I need to take a phone call from a rather annoyed agent. See you next time!


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Another question from the mysterious "Guest Registry" this week concerning the Omake at the end of Chapter 18. The excerpt shows a section of Council dialogue that takes place a week after the Mizuki incident (the following Friday). The Hokage needed to allow Iruka time to mend and investigate what happened during Naruto's academic stint with the goal being to prove or discount bias and academic sabotage, either towards Naruto or other members of his class. At this point, the civilian side of the Council is aware of Mizuki's betrayal but not the fact that Naruto was prematurely passed by Iruka. Iruka's opening statements at the end imply nothing good will happen to those involved and that some measure of justice was or would be metered out.

Also, I'm getting an increasing number of inquiries about " **Nature of the Beast** " and " **Taming of the Savage Beast** " no longer being posted. Yes, those have been taken down; I am going to repost them after a major overhaul. I'd rather not post them with an altered title, so _Nature_ is getting a spa day. I'll be combining the two stories and fleshing it out a bit more in the later chapters with what I've learned in writing all three fanfics. It is my hope that it will be an improved storyline with better polish. I will not, however, be returning to it until I've finished "No More." Fair warning.

That said, this latest chapter did not want to be written. Bloody thing fought me the entire way. I guess that's the Kyuubi's way of telling me to quit farting around and push through Nadeshiko Village and on to the Chunin Exams.

Now, more than ever, _**please read and review**_. Constructive feedback helps the creative process when writer's block becomes a very real pain in the arse.

Anywho, on with the show.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 19: First Step of the Shinobi: A Hard Look in the Mirror**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _He glanced up long enough to see her lower lips pinched by her teeth before returning to her goose-bump riddled skin. Setting the jar and brush aside, he lifted his left hand into a half ram sign, pushed chakra into the two fingers of his right hand as he pressed them directly beneath the seal, then whispered, "_ _Fuuin!_ _"_

 _The array glowed, his chakra racing through her network to link them all. Ino, not prepared for the tingling sensation arcing across her entire body, arched her back thrusting her chest up into his face with a grunt. Once the seal took effect, Naruto lifted his hand from her chest and looked up into Ino's face to make sure she was okay, the girl's eyes opening to lock with his as her heart hammered in her ears._

 _"All done?" she hissed out._

 _Unsure how she'd react, Naruto nodded quietly then reached down to lift the towel freezing as her hands clamped to either side of his head pulling his face back up to look into her own._

 _"Good!" Her body surged up off the floor as she smashed her lips against his frantically, almost desperately as her mouth began to work at his lips first individually then simultaneously._

 _Naruto's entire world froze as he melted into her embrace._

~III~

* * *

 **~ ANBU Warrens, Deep Within Hokage Tower ~**

Yugao paused just outside of her Commander's closed office door a nervous wreck. A summons to see _Dragon_ was never a good thing to be on the receiving end of; Anko's on-going example vilified that concept as she earned them on a regular basis but never enjoyed them. _No one_ in ANBU liked extended sewer patrols for infiltrators.

Checking over her uniform in the full-length mirror mounted next to the door frame one last time, she squared up her shoulders to face the plaque bearing the kanji for her boss's namesake and winced. Several deep breaths later a gloved hand raised to perform the necessary triple-knock on the heavy (read heavily-reinforced) door sill.

"Enter, _Neko_ ," came the electronically-modulated voice that made her spine crawl. The normally stoic swordswoman froze in place. She'd made no noise she could detect, and her knuckles hadn't struck the frame yet. Her ANBU mask quickly scanned the hallway for hidden cameras before she pushed the door open and slipped inside.

"Leave it open." The already nervous Yugao stiffened with the door half sealed. "You shouldn't be here that long since I called for both of my purple-headed step-children and you're the only one to arrive. This means I already have the answer I sought." Yugao spun around after opening the heavy office door to its fullest, her eyes blinking behind her mask in muted shock.

"Perhaps you can instead tell me," her volcanic Commander hissed out while waiving a small stack of complaint forms in the air, "why I have received a bevy of public reports concerning a 'purple-haired ANBU female' causing trouble in the Slums near a certain apartment complex." Yugao muttered out a nearly-silent curse, her keen eyes catching the name _Rusty Kunai_ on at least one of those waving scraps of paper. She internally cringed.

 _Neko_ always hated _Dragon's_ voice modulating seals not because of the sound but due to the pain it made out of reading her Commander's mood. This time there were no delusions about his prickly mood. The S-ranked ANBU had always been touchy about anything referring to the village's jinchuuriki fearing that idiotic villagers would finally make the boy into the homicidal maniac everyone feared he would become. The recent Yamamaka dust-up had been a stark reminder of the possibilities.

Anko had been warned on more than one occasion to back off from Naruto since their return from Istoria but she had fair reason to interfere. This time.

"No comment, Agent _Neko_?" Yugao jolted out of her introspection having lost herself worrying over Anko's current rage. "Fair enough then. It appears I'll have to punish _Hebi_ when she returns from whatever ruckus she is currently raising."

Yugao winced again underneath her mask and made a hasty (for her) decision. Punishment from _Dragon_ was never taken lightly nor did it ever end well.

"Sir, you may want to cut _Hebi_ a break this time." The black gloved hand holding the angry forms wavered then lowered to the ancient desktop but _Dragon's_ silence, and slightly angled mask, demanded the void be filled with sound. It demanded that the sound take the form of information from his subordinate.

 _Neko_ responded by rising and closing the office door, her voice silent until the stoic Shadow Commander pushed chakra from one palm into a seal atop her desk wrapping the small office in noise warping protection. No one was stupid enough to hide in the walls or ceiling of the Commander's sanctuary. Every spy that ever tried ended up skinned alive and hanging from the Hokage monument before being shipped home in a body storage scroll (once thoroughly examined by both T&I and ANBU Forensics).

Agent _Neko_ 0117, a.k.a. Yugao Uzuki, straightened her spine while preparing to bare her soul to the one person in all of Konoha that truly frightened her to death.

 **~ Naruto's Apartment Complex, Walkway Platform Outside His Home ~**

"Give it up, Anko." The smug look on the Sannin's face was the last straw for the angry, tired and battered purplette.

Locked in a grappling tug of war, the aforementioned kunoichi reversed her push stepping back enough to pull Jiraiya forward and off-balance. Her metal forehead protector simultaneously found its way into the bridge of his nose with a meaty crunch forcing the sturdy shinobi's eyes closed in a searing rush of pain accompanying the blow. Knowing he'd only be distracted for a moment, Anko finished her combination with vengeful glee.

Lifting her leading foot, she smashed her heel down onto his instep making the toad sage howl in pain. It was a childish tactic taught to civilian girls escaping bullies, but she didn't care. Whatever worked, right?

With that distraction, it was a simple matter to lift her trailing knee directly into his groin folding the larger man into a fetal position on the hallway floor.

As she stomped off past him to the apartment, Anko remembered how the Sannin directed most of his blows to her unprotected, and now heavily bruised chest, and turned to bury her other foot between his legs from his unguarded rear. Rubbing her sore breast, the simmering woman gave one last look of distaste to the moaning and twitching mass of white hair before moving away for good.

The human-sized orange toad guarding the door noticed her approach and grew decidedly worried.

"Jiraiya…" The old summoner gasped and writhed in pain but did not answer as the furious scowl of the clearly deranged woman focused on the hesitant toad.

"Jiraiya…" Gamakichi saw the flicker of green healing jutsu between the legs of the coughing male.

"Move or I make a new belt out of you." Kichi swallowed audibly but stood firm. Jiraiya had warned that this woman was a threat to the Yondaime's son, and he wasn't about to stand aside and get him killed no matter how much the Amazonian frightened him.

"Jiraiya!" he barked out even as his stance firmed up and the female's scowl became all too sickly-sweet. "Get up, dirty old man!"

The toad's unease made Anko chuckle as she prepared to send it home in a cloud of smoke. Jiraiya's croaking voice made it all unnecessary and he called off the warty defender.

"Leave her…(pant)…'kichi. Hokage will deal with her," the slow-rising Sannin groaned, "and I promise to summon you so you can watch her squirm." Jiraiya vanished in an angry swirl of wind.

Gamakichi _tsked_ loudly but quickly followed suit.

Trying not to show her sudden bout of uncertainty at the pervert's last comment, Anko strode boldly up to the door and delivered three resounding knocks on its mostly-rusted frame.

Then the world swirled out from under her feet as a pair of arms stronger than steel locked around her exhausted body.

' _Damnit! So close…'_ she groused internally.

When the world stopped reeling, Anko found herself flung into a waiting chair rather roughly. Once the burst of air shot from her lungs, she opened her eyes and scowled, er, abruptly cringed at the menacing facemask of her ANBU Commander. Her eyes snapped forward immediately thereafter recognizing her new location and straight into the furious gaze of her superior's superior, the Sandaime Hokage.

"Bang me sideways," the cringing kunoichi whimpered.

"You can arrange that on your personal time, _Special_ Jounin Mitarashi. For now, I'd like you to explain to me why you're trying to ruin fifteen years of meticulous planning by both _Dragon_ and me." She did not particularly like the way he emphasized the word "special." Then the last fifteen words of his second statement registered in her frazzled brain.

Anko had a sudden rush of queasiness and the distinct urge to vomit along with her overriding sense of confusion. "Wait… what?"

~III~

He was in heaven. At least it felt like heaven to Naruto.

Beneath him lay his freshly showered and recently inked teammate, her entire upper body unclothed and bare to the world, which meant just him inside his apartment. Her arms lay wrapped around his head and shoulders as her mouth sucked, kissed, and licked his own, his trembling arms keeping his upper body from smushing her like a soft-skinned pancake. At some point, she'd managed to free her legs and those were now linked behind the small of his back as she tried to pull him down on top of her despite his heavier bulk.

He was trying to enjoy the soft feel of her lips against his own and the occasional probing stroke of her tongue. He was trying to enjoy the soft moans coming from her throat as he tried his best to keep up with her frantic and passionate desire to devour his face. He was trying to enjoy the strawberry like fragrances wafting from her heated skin as it invaded his fox-like sense of smell.

It was very difficult to do any of that with the yelling and thumping going on just outside his apartment door. For the third time, Ino sunk both hands into his unruly mane of golden hair and wrenched his face around so she could once again lock lips with him, her own frustration growing at the insensitive bastards outside trying to ruin their moment.

When the door nearly thundered off its hinges, Naruto broke away with a growl and drew a kunai from his pouch on the kitchen table, his ears noting the soft steps of his make out partner retreating to the bathroom.

"Ichiraku's better be on fire!" he roared as he unlocked and threw the door open to reveal – nothing. There was a dying vortex of wind just outside his door but no bleeding, broken or crippled bodies lying on the harsh concrete platform. He growled as this was clearly someone's piss poor idea of joke gone _very_ wrong.

"Someone's gonna _diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee_ when I catch you!" He caught the residual scents of sake, snakes and toads, his eyes narrowing as a fully-dressed Ino wriggled out from behind him with her bag slung over one slender shoulder.

"Ino, wait!" She turned back to smile up at him as one soft hand reached up to stroke his cheek. Much to her shocked surprise, his eyes closed instantly as a soft humming sound bubbled up from his throat like a large cat purring. Ino's tickled giggling was like music to his ears.

"Don't worry Naruto. It's probably best that we got interrupted until we've had a chance to talk this out." His face scrunched up in confusion as his left hand reached up to cover hers and his eyes creaked open halfway.

"But… I don't understand. What does this make us?" The pain just below the surface nearly broke her heart but she needed to be honest with him. Hell, if whoever that was hadn't interrupted them it was a good chance her hormones would have taken things further than she was prepared to let happen. Kami he was edible goods.

"Complicated." She stepped forward lightly to softly kiss him on the lips. "I'll come back Friday for our next training lesson." She bounced lightly before taking to the roofs and racing home, her heart hammering furiously in her chest and her mood giddy despite the inferno between her thighs.

" **Well, looks like you blew that one, Romeo."** Naruto's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"Who?" The Kyuubi's roaring laughter was his only reply and it lasted up until Naruto's angry face grew malicious and a tiger's thundering roar shook his mindscape. Kyuubi's terrified squawk brought a satisfying smirk to his face as the great fox repeatedly cursed his name, the bijuu's foul language coming in gasping breaths as it sprinted for its life.

Naruto, initially high on emotion, turned back into his apartment with a snarl and a pair of increasingly sore family jewels.

"I hate complicated," he griped. The door slammed shut, the number two pivoting to hang upside down.

~III~

"Why can't people stay out of my life?" Naruto was standing just inside his small but cozy apartment, his eyes taking in the now clean table and tidy living space. His single clone walked by and comfortingly placed one hand on his shoulder with a commiserating sigh.

"I was rooting for you, Boss." With one last sigh, the construct released, and Naruto immediately summoned two more meeting the saddening gazes of Ku-chan and Ruko-chan respectively.

"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you cleaned up and ready for the rest of the day. We've got an appointment with Inoichi this afternoon." Taking his hand, Naruko tugged on his arm until the gloomy Genin unwillingly trudged off to the shower.

A half hour later, a clean (and still frustrated) Naruto Uzumaki sat perched on his couch with his two remaining fragments, a term he'd adopted for the special clones now responsible for the good changes in his life. On the floor sitting lotus were another six clones each with a clean sheet of paper and a pen. Behind them were another five sitting seiza similarly armed with writing materials and one standing by the door.

"Okay, your job is to head to the library and shinobi archives. Find everything you can about Nadeshiko Village. If there's nothing there, swing by all four bookstores and then the Hokage's office as a backup." The clone by the door nodded, shapechanged into Tai-kun, then stepped outside with haste as Naruto turned to the remaining bunch.

"Barring this trip in three days, we are planning for the Chunin Exams this summer. I cannot stress how important this is towards earning ANBU Commander _Dragon's_ attention, so we need to do well." All of his doppelgangers were nodding their heads in fierce agreement.

"Let's start with taking an honest look at where we are with skills. Each one of you is going to be responsible for presenting whatever we know about a specific area of shinobi expertise." He began pointing a finger at each clone while rattling off a title. It started with physical conditioning, then moved through chakra control, _genjutsu_ , _taijutsu_ , weapons (not just kenjutsu), _fūinjutsu_ , basic ninjutsu, then ended with the elemental strains of _Doton, Fūton, Suiton,_ and _Raiton jutsus._

"Here are the rules. Standard shinobi rankings for physical skills and _genjutsu_. There are three ninjutsu grades: Novice, Intermediate, and Master." Naruto then proceeded to spell out the criteria in painful detail.

The Art of Sealing had its own grading criteria for both Konoha and the Uzumaki and, as such, he'd leave it be. For the physical skills, he wanted to keep it simple. This would make it easy to compare his combative skills against his peers. For his ninjutsu and elemental affinities, he chose to group them based on speed of execution, control, power, with mastery contingent upon whether or not they could be performed with hand seals (within five seconds or less), single hand seals (same time frame), or no seals and no verbalization. High benchmarks indeed but he spelled out enough detail to explain what shaped his decision. It also made it easier to base their assessed grade by shoe-horning the more difficult to contain jutsu strengths into larger groupings with mastery as the desired end state for every jutsu he knew. His reason to push so hard? The thieving Uchiha.

"The sheets are to list the next techniques on your priority list to master between now and the Chunin Exams. You are allowed to list no more than five, for now." The clones all groaned and grumbled but Naruto silenced them by slamming a palm on the coffee table.

" _Every_ jutsu will be mastered before moving on. Once we go through everything already on the table, you're going to find there isn't all that much time left for new skills. If your group masters everything on their list before then, and only then, will we add something new." His scowl took in every clone now reluctantly nodding in agreement. "We need to be ready in case we fight Sasuke with his thieving Sharingan. I for one don't want him to steal our hard work." His face was positively feral.

"He's going to have to earn it in blood." That seemed to galvanize them and raise more than a few downtrodden spirits. Pummeling the moody emo king always made the clones feel better.

"I'll go first!" Naruto nodded to the first clone in the back row. "Fundamentals reporting on Physical Conditioning: We're currently at level four-point-four on resistance scales. Our running regimen, when not with Ino," many of the clones blushed at the fresh memory this morning's romp, "consists of twenty-five laps around Konoha within the standard hour time frame. We've incorporated parkour in the laps breaking through training areas seven, twelve, thirty-three, fifty-one, and fifty-six, our abandoned one in the slums, incorporating tree climbing and water walking at the request of Control Division. Repetitions for calisthenics are still set at five-hundred following the Nami Affair but include log swinging to prepare the wrists for more intense kenjutsu training." Naruto nodded at the succinct report and winced at the memory of his sore wrists.

It seemed a little surreal listening to a clone of himself discussing his personal workout routine but there you had it.

"Increase repetitions by ten percent and work alternating sprints into the cardio blitz." The clone nodded and began writing down its priority list for training advancements before handing the sheet to the Boss. Naruto's eyebrows climbed into his hairline at the request for chakra-modulated weights to use with their current resistance seals. That was definitely going to hurt tomorrow morning.

"Control Division," another clone piped up as the process continued on for the next hour.

~ III ~

Anko's brain was a scrambled mess. Her sore body protesting the rough treatment that deposited her sexy ass into the rather uncomfortable chairs of the Hokage's office was just the tip of the kunai enema. Now she was struggling to process the words of the one man in Konoha she trusted implicitly and how he was telling her that it was his idea to sell Naruto up shit creek?

This was too much to process.

Hiruzen looked to the ANBU Commander who tilted their head almost as if asking, "Are you sure?"

"Do it," the Sandaime ordered in a tone that brooked no argument.

"All of you, OUT!" Three shadows blurred as the Hokage's personal guard evaporated without a trace. Anko flinched and rose to follow suit before an iron grip pushed her roughly back into her seat.

"Not you, princess. You get front row tickets for this." Hiruzen fought to keep a straight grimace given the petrified yet defiant looks flickering alternately across Anko's lowered face.

Placing one palm against the windows behind the Hokage, _Dragon_ pulsed their chakra once sending inky black tendrils streaking across every surface that started out as curling vines. As they spread out, the vines began to bleed into growing pools of darkness blacking out windows on all sides of the circular office. Anko flinched as three spots on the wall flashed and burned when the ink overtook them and again when a hidden compartment above the Hokage's desk flapped open to drop a _Root_ ANBU's body onto the wooden floors.

"Now we can begin." Anko's head snapped from the twitching spy back to her ANBU superior whose hands were unfastening their mask with multiple clicks and hissing bursts of air.

Despite herself, Anko found her body straightening in her chair, her hands gripping the arms as she leaned forward with the prolonged tease of Dragon's grand reveal. Entire assassination squads had been sent to eliminate this person and he'd bested them all. The greatest spies of the elemental nations had lain in wait for months, years even just to glimpse a look behind the ebony-scaled mask that looked strangely familiar now that she took a good look at it. To Anko's knowledge, only two people knew Dragon's true identity and one of them was sitting across the heavy desk watching her every move.

When the mask finally fell free, Anko's jaw dropped open as her head began to shake, timidly at first then increasingly with her growing disbelief.

"It can't be. You're dead! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"

~ III ~

The last sight the slowly dying Root spy convulsing on the floor could see as their vision dimmed forever, was the seriously unhappy face and wild mane of crimson hair belonging to one Kushina Uzumaki. With a ragged sigh as the last breath left their lungs, the agent passed on into the next world not understanding the annoying sensation that made their heart beat violently one last time.

It was fear.

~ III ~

Naruto took in the last report with mixed emotions. If what he heard and read among their individual reports was true, he was considerably farther along than his graduating classmates but not as far as he wanted to be. I supposed mixed blessings were a thing to be pleased about?

Nothing unusual grabbed his interest during the first clone's report; he was intimately familiar with his daily training routine and knew that his partially-active Uzumaki blood traits would combine with the Kyuubi's restorative chakra to keep him in peak condition. His clone placed him conservatively at mid-Chunin with his resistance seals active with a goal of mid-Tokujo by the time the Exams started, barring long-term missions taking away from his training opportunities.

His chakra control was unusually high for someone with his reserves, the self-assessed low-Jounin ranking something to be proud of given the Academy's attempts to sabotage him. The downside was that he'd need to pick it all up again once he activated his bloodline fully and it thrashed his control back to academy levels of pitifulness. Thankfully, his self-study in _Fūinjutsu_ offered some relief.

As it was new territory, his sealing study would take time. His calligraphy was still improving but it had long since passed the minimums to begin working with uncharged seals and arrays. Furthermore, Abe-san and his family were empowered by the Hokage to test anyone, once he was ready, up to level six in Konoha _Fūin._ They actually performed this function for all shinobi forces in Konoha making them an unassailable certifying official, a good perk in his book. Passing their exams would make him an official intermediate master. Anything beyond that would require someone like Jiraiya to test him. In the meantime, it would be enough to learn about external chakra networks and the benefits they provided beyond limiter and chakra-filter seals.

He could do nothing about Genjutsu unless someone more versed with it offered to work with him. There the abysmal high-Genin ranking (based solely on his ability to disrupt genjutsu with chakra pulses) was woefully optimistic in his opinion.

His _kenjutsu_ was mid-Genin considering all he had to work with were some introductory scrolls from the Genin library and the odd lesson or two he'd weaseled from _Neko_ -chan last year. His _bukijutsu_ was formidable, probably high-Chunin, but there was always room for improvement. He resolved to add a squad of clones to work on muscle memory and katas.

Things got really interesting when the ninjutsu reports started rifling in.

His core ninjutsu included things like the Basic Three from the Academy, the Traveling Ten (used in camping and building minor elemental affinities), and his shadow clones. All total, he knew an amazing twenty-two ranging from E-rank to S-rank (the Tajuu Kage Bunshin fell solidly in the 'S-Rank-Might-Kill-You' category). Unfortunately, he could only claim true mastery of six of them meaning no seals and no words using minimal smoke or other indicators. Even half of those still needed work to fall within the "five-seconds-or-less rule" but the clones were ecstatic – at first. The new jutsus the Ninpou Squad (as they were calling themselves) would have to wait until each and every one in the current inventory was fully mastered to the Boss' demanding specifications. They had a lot of work ahead and his prohibition about adding stuff made more sense.

 _Doton_ , _Fuuton_ , and _Suiton_ were his next strongest even if jutsu knowledge was reduced to less than six apiece. While his affinities were strong in those three and most had progressed beyond the third stage of affinity training, they were going to need a strong library resource of instructors to broaden their range. The scowling faces on each clone showed a simmering disapproval for his reluctance to tap into the ready resource of the _Umihebi_ , the two currently listening in patiently from the tattoos on his upper body specifically.

"Okay, for Doton we have [ _Doton: Dochū Eigyo_ ], [ _Doton: Doryū Taiga_ ], [ _Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu_ ], [ _Doton: Meisai Gakure no Jutsu_ ], and [ _Doton: Doryūheki_ ], the latter two of which are not mastered. Make sure they are all up to standard, _and_ inspected, then break up into groups of ten to work on [ _Doton: Yomi Numa_ ], [ _Doton: Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu_ ], and [ _Doton: Iwagakure: Shunshin no Jutsu_ ]. I'll search the scrolls from my family to see if we have any new ones in there." The Iwagakure variant of the Body Flicker was limited to earth-bound movement but it was nice to see on the scroll Jiraiya had given him along with the powerful A-ranked swamp jutsu.

He would be increasing his ninjutsu clone packs to thirty apiece to help with mastering new techniques. This should keep them gainfully employed in the mornings.

"For _Fūton_ , we have [ _Fūton: Chakūra-tō Machimonji_ ] and [ _Fūton: Hein_ ] – both compliments of Asuma Sensei, [ _Fūton: Bofū Kyouzū no Jutsu_ ], [ _Fūton: Hanpatsu Kaze no Jutsu_ ], and [ _Fūton: Bonseki Tate no Kaze_ ]. I know our choices are limited with _Fūton_ at the moment but master these first then move on to [ _Fūton: Daitoppa_ ] and [ _Fūton: Renkudan_ ] also from Jiraiya's scroll. I'll ask Asuma-sensei if he has anything new for us on the way to Nadeshiko Village." The _Fūton_ Squad, not happy about ignoring Titus' possible contributions to their growth, grumbled their reluctant acceptance.

' _I would be honored to assist you, Naruto-san.'_ Naruto smiled even as his mind turned inward.

' _I know you would, Titus-san, and I am grateful for that. Really, I am. I just think I need to master what I have available to me before I move on. Gotta learn to stand on my own two first.'_

The _Stormbringer_ smiled. He was so like his mother without knowing it and the royal sibling made his decision vowing to return to his enclave before the next lunar cycle to voice his opinion. Now if the boy would just choose his bond already…

Naruto, unaware of his passenger's inner monologue, moved on to address the five _Suiton_ jutsus available to him for mastery and the two _Raiton_ training techniques he'd put off for far too long and not mastered. He wasn't worried about water techniques as there were almost a dozen left to choose from between Konoha's academy library and Jiraiya's scrolls. _Fūton_ and _Raiton_ were both extremely rare in Konoha but he'd find a way to deal with that problem sooner or later.

After laying out the necessary directions to their respective squads, he dispersed his clone audience and rose with a satisfying pop to his back.

He was going to need to head out for lunch soon then meander his way over to Inoichi's shop. With a warm smile, he turned and held out his hand for his chosen company to travel with.

"Ready, Ku-chan?" The gorgeous redhead smiled and rose with him, Naruko's sad smile her only farewell to the soft-spoken clone.

It was a beautiful day for a walk after all.

~III~

Four robed figures were kneeling in a perfect row before the mummified leader of their organization, the x-marked scar on his chin seeming to radiate his displeasure at their clear lack of success. Unfortunately, the almost non-existent lighting of the looming cavern made it difficult to be certain.

"It is troubling that you were not able to inject the boy."

Agent Four-Four-Three would have winced if her training had not been so thorough. How could so few words carry so much weight? It was hard enough to portray the vapid and wanton women they needed to present themselves as even though they were the best infiltration specialists _Root_ had produced in nearly a decade. As it was, she found being nearly exposed before their comrades…displeasing, but carried it well on her otherwise impeccable features.

The memory of the jinchuuriki with his face smothered between her breasts was difficult enough to come to grips with but her duty demanded that she cope. It was a seduction mission after all.

"Shall we reconfigure, Danzo-sama?" Her question was simple, concise, and necessary but the immovable shinobi deliberated as his sole orb took in the four of them for several tense minutes.

"No. Continue as before," the subtle command to "maintain your cover" understood by all four women. He made a minute gesture summoning four cloaked shadows from the far edges of the chamber.

"Obtain the jinchuuriki host before his Monday departure." The four robed shadows bowed once then vanished as a torrent of shadows, the same as they arrived.

Jiraiya was a fool clearly untrustworthy of guiding the vessel and he'd indulged his aging teammate long enough. His eye swung back to the four women as they also departed in four subtle shifts of wind.

One way or another, Danzo would have his superweapon. The boy's phenomenal progress in recent months demanded no less.

~III~

Ku-chan agreed to henge for the trip out. Although she was not the real Kushina Uzumaki, explaining her uncanny resemblance was a monumental headache neither of them wanted. Instead, she became a brunette a hair shorter than the original and a body wrapped in an all-too-familiar swath of black leather.

Naruto smiled wistfully at Fuu-chan's temporary rebirth as they strolled leisurely through the village. The air was clean in the way a clear Fall could be with just that hint of a crisp winter chill. Puffy white pillows floating in a never-ending sea of blue were as far as the eye could see and he was beginning to understand his Nara teammate's infatuation with watching the soothing islands of cotton from below. It was calming, an emotional balm almost.

Too bad the fine citizens of Konoha were doing their dead-level best to ruin the mood.

The Slums had never been an unhappy place for the permanent orphan. Every person living in the Entertainment District was very aware of their lot in life. It wasn't a lot, but it was a life and each one found their personal measure of happiness and acceptance. Through the first fifteen years of his life, even Naruto could find peace and acceptance among his fellow pariahs.

Everyone suffered the same pain in the Red-Light District and accepted each other accordingly. The same dignity did not exist beyond the imaginary borders of their internal exile.

Strolling through the clean streets of the Market Quarter, open civility gave way thinly-veneered hostility, the angry stares sliding over his skin like angry bees. Tied to his clone by the warm thread of chakra, his doppelganger could feel the negative feedback through their link and puzzled as it changed to confusion once their eyes took in her _henged_ identity.

It didn't matter to either that their confusion came from the demon brat being seen in public with the gorgeous emblem-bearing kunoichi. It didn't matter that most tried to hide their hatred (and failed) or openly whispered harsh insults and slurs. The lewd glares at the sleek female figure did little to weigh in their favor either. None of that mattered anymore as Naruto paused in the heart of the district and looked at his clone with determination set in every line of his face.

"No more, Ku-chan." The clone looked back in confusion, her raised eyebrows pleading silently for an explanation.

"No more fighting a losing cause. No more trying to win the acceptance and love of a people that want to see me die. No more wallowing in my misery especially when my clan has given me the key to change my existence." When the message still didn't sink in, he turned back to his destination and pushed on with a smirk on his face for the confused villagers unsure about his indifference to their hatred.

"I know what I need to do finally."

Since "The Boss" wasn't being more communicative, the clone fell silently into step until they reached the sweet smells of Yamanaka Florals, a peaceful lunch long since forgotten.

With Ino out on deliveries, it took almost zero time to find the two incarnations of Naruto inside Inoichi's _Fortress of Therapy_. When the clone eventually released her transformation, Inoichi sat stunned for a good ten minutes with his hand covering his wide-open mouth.

Though he knew it was a chakra construct, its representation of the "motherly Kushina" was eerily accurate even in only in the physical sense.

"My daughter stated you were concerned about 'the Three?'" The pleasantly smiling redhead nodded even as she sat next to the reclining Genin on the very comfortable couch. "What, or who, is the Three?"

The clone known as Ku-chan turned briefly to smile down at the puzzled looking boy responsible for her existence, a warm palm gently pressed to his cheek as she answered the bewildered doctor.

"A healthy mind functions as a well-oiled construct, all of its individual sectors seamlessly performing their responsibilities while sharing information to create a single picture, a _complete being_ if you will. In our case, the trauma of a life filled with pain has broken apart those individual pieces into separate entities each disconnected from the remaining core identity." Her head tilted as her eyes softened a bit.

"Of those separate identities, we each represent a specific aspect or function of the whole and, as a cluster of personality aspects, are divided into three groups. The majority of the clones, as you've come to call us, represent primary order functions such as intelligence, patience, and cunning to name a few. Among the clones, we recognize this selection as The Core as they comprise the core auxiliary capabilities of Naruto's mental personality matrix and tend to be neutral in origin, neither good nor evil.

"A smaller cluster of fragments, six to be exact, are split evenly down the middle and represent the extremes of human personality and emotion. They represent those aspects most affected by the catastrophic pain of his life and were separated to hopefully contain the scarring and damage inflicted by the people of this village.

"Half form the Heavenly sphere of emotion: Love, Forgiveness, and Hope, of which I represent the first aspect. Unfortunately, for each benevolent aspect, there exists a polar opposite." She glanced up to the pale-faced mind walker.

"The opposite of love is…" he began.

"Hate, doctor. The opposite of Love is Hatred and nestled deep in the shadows of Naruto's mindspace is a being designed to house all of the hatred accumulating in Naruto's heart after a decade and a half of pain and suffering at the hands of people that despise him. It has grown strong enough that I can no longer contain it on my own. It was with the hope that we could help Naruto find love in other sources so that I could grow strong enough to defend him that we assimilated his actual clone constructs to fill the emptiness of his life." Her eyes looked terribly aggrieved as she mouthed, "I'm sorry" to the clearly shaken Genin.

"We have had some good fortune, to include the growing affections of your daughter, lovely and confusing creature that she is." Ku-chan's smile seemed to brighten the room and give some measure of ease to the concerned clan head.

"Now I fear we are running out of time, hence my presence here today in lieu of Naruko-chan."

"You hope to merge with the aspect of Hate and preserve the host." Inoichi's eyes wandered to the stunned Naruto as he listened to Ku-chan's plea to be merged, a certain death for the caring mother figure if ever he heard one.

She nodded in utter calm. "It is for the best."

Inoichi flew through a complicated series of hand seals, his hands reaching forward to land on the foreheads of both "persons" on the couch as he whispered, [ _Ninpou_ : _Holding-Door Mind Transmission!_ ]

All three of them blinked as they stood in the center of a rather large cave with soft blue glows illuminating the ground, the pleasant sound of running water, and the large empty cage of the Kyuubi.

It was as Inoichi's mind registered the empty cell and the opening leading to a forest of enormous trees that all three heard the distant roar of an enormous beast and the furiously scrabbling steps of something fleeing for its life.

Inoichi glanced to the smirking face of Naruto and his red-headed escort then back to the cave opening as the aforementioned sounds drew closer. Just as he was about to cancel his jutsu and make a "strategic withdrawal," the Kyuubi, in all its terrified glory, dashed, stumbled, tumbled, rolled, then splatted against the bars of its cage with a resounding clang of flesh on metal.

All three lesser beings winced at the spread-eagled bijuu's impact.

Apparently immune to the immense pain a body should feel, it scrambled up from its undignified sprawl to firmly place its back against the safe metal of its normal home.

Not two minutes later, as Inoichi was trying to comprehend the sheer terror on the face of the _Nightmare of Legends_ , a paw as large as the Kyuubi's head (attached to an orange and white furred arm bearing black stripes and claws bigger than Inoichi's body), shot into the cave opening to dig deep gouges into the stone floor of Kyuubi's home.

"Welcome home, Kyuubi-san," Naruto oozed out with utter joy.

Even though Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, Kyuubi's terrified grimace both worried Inoichi and set him on edge. What on earth would be horrible enough to scare the _Kyuubi?!_

~ III ~

Haku sat comfortably on the partial wrap-around porch sighing contentedly as she leaned back on her hands, her dainty feet swinging easily over the edge. The setting sun, as usual, was gorgeous, the warm colors of the dying sky a symphony of purples, reds, and oranges.

Next to her sat the always excitable Inari as he shared stories of the new "friends" he'd made in town, especially the annoying Chikafusa, his newest rival. Haku chuckled at the utter irony of the meaning behind the boy's name (The Close One) and winced gingerly as her palm lightly brushed against the wound on her right hip.

Inari never noticed as his arms gestured and articulated his latest adventure of "Win Etsudo-chan's Affections." Haku couldn't help but grin at the boy's enthusiasm. To be honest, she never thought he'd break away from her since the liberation from Gato and feared his attachment to her would become something of a bother given her tenuous relationship with his-.

"Inari! Time to wash up for dinner."

' _Ah, yes. There it is.'_ Tsunami's voice was marvelously adept at hiding her contempt for all shinobi from her son, who simply adored Haku. It was only a matter of time before…

"I would like you to depart as soon as you are strong enough to do so." Haku didn't turn to face the bitter woman but bowed her head in abeyance. It's not like she could blame her as the Kiri nin responsible for her engineering father's death was Haku's own master, Zabuza Momochi.

Adding insult to injury, Haku spent the following week protecting the helpless woman and her son from the army of hooligans looking to force themselves upon her again, and again, and again. The bitter sting of that realization must have been grueling for the proud woman to accept, a bitter pill indeed.

"I shall be strong enough to travel in a few days. Please forgive my burden to your family."

Tsunami sniffed dismissively. Burden? This slip of a girl helped kill her father in cold blood. If it wouldn't dishonor her newly deceased parent, she would have slit the girl's throat in her sleep if she could. She saw firsthand just how deadly Haku could be and held no illusions of overcoming her in any sort of confrontation.

"I will draw the herbal bath after dinner. Please do not tarry." The ice user heard Tsunami's soft steps retreat and could almost picture the woman's rigid back in her mind.

Haku had been earnest in her apology. She had been earnest in her desire to protect Tsunami and her family once Gato betrayed the Kiri shinobi cell leaving them high-and-dry – just before he tried to have them eliminated just to save a few Ryu. She had been earnest in her desire to keep the woman safe until things returned to normal.

If not for her injuries in fighting off the ronin sent to kill the only symbol remaining of Tazuna's bravery, she would have departed immediately afterward. Going even one problem further and, if not for the masked Konoha ANBU that undoubtedly saved her life, Haku would have happily perished defending their lives. While quite okay with dying in their defense, it would have left them defenseless afterward and increased her honor debt to them. Too bad that Tsunami's well-deserved hatred of all shinobi would never let her acquit herself of that debt but there was one she could make good on.

Her fingers lightly traced the bandages across her slender chest and her face flushed a bright pink. Her scars would be minimal thanks to his quick use of strong herbals meant to enhance her body's ability to recover. He'd done wonders to reduce harmful bacteria and infection and quickly bind her wounds.

An enemy saved her life and, while she'd made up as much ground as she could towards her debt to the Aono family, she hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of the life debt she owed this mysterious shinobi with the powerful ocean blue eyes.

Besides, he had a responsibility to own up to. He'd seen more of her growing body than even Zabuza-sama and that could not stand without restitution. He may not marry her, as was his choice, but she would serve him as she had her former master and, in doing so, properly discharge her debt. Perhaps she could do something about that pesky maidenhood problem while she was at it.

It was the honorable thing to do.

~ III ~

 **~ Hidden Laboratory in the Land of Sound ~**

Kabuto was lost deep within the walls of his own mind even as his feet carried him without error to the lab his master was tinkering away in. The swirling patterns along the walls were often soothing but not today. He'd been summoned by his master's usual messenger, a tiny viper of purple scales with white marks around the crown of its head, which roused from his own experiments and disturbed him a tiny bit.

He rarely got the time needed to wrap up his own affairs with the preparations for war taking up so much of his time.

Pushing aside his personal, and trivial complaints, the silver-haired spy found the appropriate door and forced it open, his eyes adjusting to the various glows and burners both heating and lighting up the dark lab. It wasn't enough to keep the room comfortable if he was to judge from the behavior of the naked female subject strapped to the table, her pained look and full-torso shivering giving away her discomfort as her mind fought the pull of shock while Orochimaru-sama operated on her body.

The Sannin's right hand sighed at the shock of red hair strapped to the once-sterile metal table. Such a waste of valuable resources. Instead, he stood by silently, hands neatly folded across his waist until his master acknowledged him.

One did not interrupt Orochimaru mid-procedure unless you had a death wish.

The long-haired figure with his back to him sighed and set his bloody instruments on the small support table next to the metal holding slab. "Another failure. What a shame." The sound of surgical gloves snapping into place rang out as his pale hand gently stroked the pain-laced face of the woman straining against her bonds. "I had such high hopes for this one." The slim mass-murderer turned from the subject snatching up a fresh towel and he fastidiously cleaned the blood from his implements.

"Kabuto, please clean this up and prepare subjects twenty and forty-one. They aren't special like poor Goren here, but they'll serve my needs." Kabuto bowed missing the struggling woman's hate-filled eyes flickering to the man she once thought to be her savior.

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama. If I may be so bold?" His eyes flickered to the sweating, shivering, and bloody mess barely clinging to life as his master's gaze leisurely raked over her still-open wounds.

"She is yours. I have no need for failures." Orochimaru boldly strolled towards the door. "Take her with you when you re-institute yourself in Konoha for all I care. She won't be able to betray us once you cleanse her memories."

And with that, the Snake Sannin departed leaving and quickly moving Kabuto to approach the bench and place the nearly dead woman into a deep anesthetic-induced slumber.

"Never fear, Goren-chan. I will not discard you so frivolously." His soft hands caressed her unconscious body gliding from her forehead down her neck and across her bare breast before hovering above the gaping incisions in her lower abdomen where they began blaring with soothing medical chakra. Her unconscious shiver that followed his clammy touch had nothing to do with the pervasive cold in the lab.

It would take an hour or more to repair the damage, replace the missing blood, remove the foreign objects from her body cavity, and heal her completely but Kabuto was more than confident in his ability.

"You and I are going to get along splendidly."

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

* * *

Because of the large number of jutsu referenced in this chapter (but not used), I have not spelled them out fully here in the jutsu glossary. If you're curious, I'm using the Narutopedia jutsu reference barring original jutsu created by myself, which Naruto is not capable of creating right now. Translations for the above jutsu are as follows:

[ _Doton: Dochū Eigyo no Jutsu_ ] – Underground Projection Fish

[ _Doton: Doryū Taiga_ ] – Earth Flow River

[ _Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu_ ] – Double Suicide Decapitation Technique

[ _Doton: Meisai Gakure no Jutsu_ ] – Hidden Camouflage Technique

[ _Doton: Doryūheki_ ] – Earth Release Wall

[ _Doton: Yomi Numa_ ] – Swamp of the Underworld

[ _Doton: Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu_ ] – Earth Military Movement Technique

[ _Doton: Iwagakure: Shunshin no Jutsu_ ] – Hidden Earth: Instantaneous Body Skill

[ _Fūton: Chakūra-tō Machimonji_ ] – Chakra Blade: Straight Line

[ _Fūton: Hein_ ] – Flying Swallow

[ _Fūton: Bofū Kyouzū no Jutsu_ ] – Gale Surge (Affinity Training Jutsu)

[ _Fūton: Hanpatsu Kaze no Jutsu_ ] – Retrieving Wind (Affinity Training Jutsu)

[ _Fūton: Bonseki Tate no Kaze_ ] – Spinning Shield of Wind

[ _Fūton: Daitoppa_ ] – Great Breakthrough

[ _Fūton: Renkudan_ ] – Drilling Air Bullet (B-Ranked version not Bijū S-Ranked attack)

 **Jutsu implied but not specifically listed:**

[ _Suiton: Mizu Soujū_ ] – Water Manipulation (Affinity Training Jutsu)

[ _Suiton: Mizu no Yaiba_ ] – Water Sword

[ _Suiton: Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu_ ] – Water Clone

[ _Suiton: Uo Tsuba_ ] – Fish Spit (Affinity Training Jutsu)

[ _Suiton: Suimenka no Kisoku_ ] – Breathing Underwater Technique

[ _Suiton: Mizu Tate no Jutsu_ ] – Water Shield Technique

[ _Suiton: Mizu Peretto_ ] – Water Pellet (Affinity Training Jutsu – Stage 2 Uo Tsuba)

[ _Suiton: Mizu Kamikiri_ ] – Rising Water Cutter

[ _Raiton: Teikou no Kuntou_ ] – Electricity Resistance Training (Affinity Training Jutsu)

[ _Raiton: Yurayura Ranpu no Jutsu_ ] – Flickering Light Technique (Affinity Training Jutsu)

~III~


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Lots of good feedback and some interesting conversation this time around. Just to clarify, no, I did not kill off Anko (I did add a section break to delineate the sudden shift from Anko's POV to the dying Root agent's POV). Also, it's probably time to reveal another change to my Narutoverse that many die-hard canon fans will find annoying. I, on the other hand, see it as a nice way to tie up some of the loose ends in the original story.

I would like to congratulate those of you that called a "Kushina is still alive" Narutoverse twist. Clearly, I am not able to pull one over on you though I did try to sneak it in. Clearly, I won't be able to pull the wool over your eyes. (Innocent Blinking)

Without further ado, I give you Chapter 20. Enjoy as you will. [Puts innocent halo back on top of head]

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I have to say this or Disney might sic their lawyers on me: I do not now nor have I ever owned** ** _The Jungle Book,_** **nor have I written this story with the purpose to use their characters, nor any reasonable facsimile thereof, for monetary gain. Any reference to or appearance of has been with the express purpose of entertainment and all rights, properties, and privileges pertaining to remain the sole intellectual enterprise of their owner and creator and his surviving heirs.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 20: Second Step of the Shinobi: Setting Things Right**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

" _Now we can begin." Anko's head snapped from the twitching spy back to her ANBU supervisor whose hands were unfastening their mask with multiple clicks and hissing bursts of air._

 _Despite herself, Anko found her body straightening in her chair, her hands gripping the arms as she leaned forward with the prolonged tease of Dragon's grand reveal. Entire assassination squads had been sent to eliminate this person and he'd bested them all. The greatest spies of the elemental nations had lain in wait for months, years even just to glimpse a look behind the ebony-scaled mask that looked strangely familiar now that she took a good look at it. To Anko's knowledge, only two people knew Dragon's true identity and one of them was sitting across the heavy desk watching her every move._

 _When the mask finally fell free, Anko's jaw dropped open as her head began to shake, timidly at first then increasingly with her growing disbelief._

" _It can't be. You're dead! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, The Hokage's Office ~**

The chair creaked ominously as Anko's weight shifted from leaning heavily on the forward edge to trying frantically to retreat over the back of it. You see, she was at a complete loss. Normally in total control, she was the girl with the ever-ready escape plan at her fingertips when things didn't make sense. Honestly? Nothing she was seeing with her own eyes or feeling made any sense to her brain. She was in the Hokage's office. She was safe, right?

Not today apparently. Today she was seeing ghosts, something she knew was impossible and her body was sending very panicked signals to her brain.

Her heart was racing to catch up with her mind. Her mind was doing its absolute best to disbelieve everything her eyes were showing her. Her feet were giving their all to flee for the hills and her stomach was trying to empty itself of the morning's oats drizzled with honey.

What? A girl had to live off more than dango from time to time but that wasn't important at the moment.

What was important was why Kushina Uzumaki was still alive after Anko watched her body get lowered into the cold earth of Konoha's shinobi cemetery fifteen years ago. Furthermore, the Hokage's calm, albeit maybe slightly amused face, told her Torture & Interrogation trained mind that he'd been aware of this fact from the very beginning, or at least close to it.

Her stomach heaved and one hand shot up to violently press her lips together.

One of the two figures smirking down at her proffered a small plastic garbage can, her mind dully registering the object as her free hand plopped it numbly into her lap. Her shoulders heaved a second time and Anko, lacking better options, obliged her rebelling anatomy and buried her face into the soothing plastic container until nothing solid came up with her sounds of suffering.

"Does she normally react this way?" came the Hokage's gentle question, his voice uncertain.

"No, Hokage-sama. She is one of my stronger agents," came the unruffled response.

At this, Anko blinked and peered over the trash-bag lined rim of the can in her lap, her arms circling it protectively. _'Even her voice is the same.'_

"You're not real," the trembling kunoichi croaked out.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course, I'm real. I know that Ibiki-san taught you to use your senses along with that thick skull of yours to do something other than use it as a place to keep your brain matter and store dango." She was even snarky like the Kushina she remembered.

Anko's cheeks puffed up briefly as she fought down another vomit-induced burp, her eyes taking in all the physical signs. She could see the long lean figure, the flowing red hair, the violet eyes, and the fair skin. She was the spitting image of her temporary adopted mother. But this wasn't Kushina. She refused to accept it.

Kushina would not have abandoned her, especially not after Orochimaru did what he-. Her mind changed channels like a whip cracking.

"You are NOT Kushina-sama!" An angry finger jabbed the air between Anko and the scarlet imposter. The arrogant figure impersonating the most important figure in her life merely smirked.

"Of course, I'm not Kushina."

Anko blinked even as her anger fizzled out like cheap bath salts.

"Kushina died just over fifteen years ago protecting her baby boy." The identical copy of Kushina Uzumaki stepped forward and placed her shapely rear on the corner of Hokage-sama's desk and attempted to get comfortable. It almost appeared as if she was preparing herself for a long discussion.

"Kushina-onee-chan was my older sister. Well, she was older if you considered two minutes significant." Anko blinked rapidly then dry-heaved into the rank-smelling bucket one last time before trying to hand it back to the Hokage, who politely refused. Nodding as she set it back into her quivering lap, Anko's blushing head nodded indicating she would clean it out later.

"Twins then?" Her voice was hoarse, raw from explosive constricting and feeling every bit like the Suna desert.

"Triplets actually," the redhead corrected. "Kushina," she held up a single finger. "Keina," she held up a second finger and pointed the thumb of her other hand to herself. "Then Karina," she rattled off as a third digit shot into the air.

"So, Naruto has two aunts?" The woman now identified as Keina smiled briefly at the purplette's concern for her nephew.

"Sorry, but no." Anko's growing smile faltered just like her anger. "We were scattered to preserve the royal line. Kushina came here, I went to a non-shinobi village, and Karina went to Kusagakure.

"Unfortunately, the bastards there discovered Karina's bloodline healing trait and literally over-used her to death. Now they're trying to do the same thing to her daughter, something we plan to correct at the Chunin Exams this summer." The red head's eyes pulsed with energy as her hair began to wave angrily about. Anko jumped in shock remembering all too well how Kushina used to do the same eerie thing.

Mid-panic during Keina's short-lived fit of rage, Naruto's face popped into Anko's mind and her own anger returned. She'd remembered why she was fighting her way into Naruto's apartment in the first place.

"Then why are you hiding from the Gaki? Why are you two trying to screw him over?" She almost dropped her puke bucket as her temper flared. Surprisingly, Keina looked almost disappointed.

"I thought we taught you to look underneath the obvious?"

"Huh?" Anko was getting annoyed at how easily this woman was throwing her off her game. For not being Kushina, it was disturbingly like her.

"Here's a little history to help fill in the gaps." Unable to get comfy with wooden edges digging into her rear end, the gorgeous redhead pulled a chair over and plopped down into it directly in front of Anko.

"Fifteen years ago in the wonderfully hot month of July, a loving couple planned to give birth to their yet-to-be-born baby boy in the fall. Only a handful of people knew, aside from the lovely wife's sisters, and they were sworn to both keep silent and to render aid when the time came for the birth.

"Even with all of the planning, two squads of highly-trusted ANBU, and the extra security of the Yondaime himself, an unwanted visitor – a very powerful visitor – attacks at the secret site, kills nearly everyone there, fights off the Yondaime, then runs off with Kushina to extract the Kyūbi from her."

Anko's eyes nearly exploded from their sockets in disbelief.

"That's right kiddies! Kushina-onee was the last jinchuuriki of the Kyūbi no Youko." At this point, Anko had nothing left in her stomach to expunge so she buried her face in the opening of the pail and groaned. "Does this change how you feel about her, Ko-chan? Hello? You still alive in there?" The older woman's knuckles gently rapped on the back of Anko's skull.

The decidedly green kunoichi thought about it for a few moments before resolutely shaking her head from side to side.

"Good!" Keina's face scrunched up in concentration. "Now, where was I?" she queried pausing for dramatic effect.

The Sandaime chimed in with, "The Kyūbi was stolen and made to attack Konoha."

Keina snapped her fingers like it was an important clue. "That's right! The bastard stole the Kyūbi and sicced it on Konoha hoping to wipe the place off the map. People fought back and died, the Yondaime defeated the bastard that started the whole mess, and you know the rest of what happened." Anger flashed briefly across the Uzumaki woman's gorgeous features.

"The whole thing was said and done before I could make it here to dote on my shiny new nephew. When I arrived, Kushina and her hubby were dead, and I was being told that all of my family had died in the Kyūbi's attack." Keina directed a particularly potent look over her shoulder at the Sandaime who blushed briefly and looked down at his unlit pipe intently. A bit too intently Anko noticed.

"How did no one realize who you were?" Anko blurted out, the distinctive kunoichi's features clearly a beacon in any crowd.

"Konoha was in ruins. People were panicked and anyone could have walked in out of the forests with little trouble. I'm sure people saw me and brushed it off as their mind hallucinating as no one has brought it up since the attack."

Anko shrugged it off remembering the chaos during that time as one big haze.

"Not being a Konoha kunoichi and looking like an exact duplicate of Kushina-onee, imagine my surprise when that same someone claiming my family was all gone asked me to join the Konoha Corps and rebuild the Uzumaki Clan here."

"You still could. You are young enough to still bear children." Keina laughed but there was no humor in her melodious voice.

"You know why I refuse to this day. You know why I stayed. You know why I joined your ANBU and became _Dragon._ " Anko could see the tension between them like a physical wall keeping them apart. Hiruzen's pained sigh was poignantly telling.

"Revenge never eases the burden, Keina-chan. Don't you think I want revenge for Biwako?"

Something unreadable flashed across the other woman's face that Anko couldn't identify before it vanished beneath a stone veneer, but she turned back to Anko as it evaporated for more storytelling.

"I vanished into the ANBU and resolved to work my way to the top. My entire purpose was to find out who was behind this nonsense and pay them back for murdering my family. Imagine my surprise a second time when I started to notice the village's rage at a certain blond baby and their focused threats to do it harm. Imagine my surprise as an Uzumaki seals master to learn that the baby had been used to seal away the Kyūbi no Yoko by the Yondaime. Imagine my further surprise to learn that the seal had been heavily influenced by Uzumaki _Fūinjutsu_ and that a certain un-retired Hokage didn't want me anywhere near it."

Anko gasped aloud. "You knew!"

"I suspected," Keina countered even as she shook her great mane of crimson hair from side to side. "And when I confronted a certain someone with my suspicions over and over and _over_ again, he begrudgingly admitted the truth." The Hokage chuckled wryly.

"You threatened to burn Konoha to the ground if I didn't stop lying to you." Keina promptly ignored him.

"Naturally I tried to adopt him. He was blood after all, and royal blood at that. He was my family, my only remaining tie to Kushina and the rightful heir to the Uzumaki throne. In fact, he still is."

Anko's brow wrinkled up in confusion. "Why would the Hokage not let you adopt him? That makes no sense."

"Oh, it's not his fault. I blame the stupid father that named Jiraiya as his godfather." Here Anko reeled backwards as her confusion grew.

"Wait, you're telling me that a father's will trumps Uzu law?" Her head tilted sideways a little, her face showing huge amounts of incredulity.

"It does in very specific instances. While Kushina died an Uzu princess and ambassador, her husband was a clan head of an active Konoha clan. He was an important Leaf shinobi and, in a contrasting circumstance where the father is of _significant_ importance, the local law prevailed. Provided his actions nor the actions of his appointed godfather did nothing that jeopardized the royal Uzu line, the appointed guardian gets to call the shots until they commit an act that, in the eyes of Uzu law, heinously or recklessly endangers the line of succession." That last part seemed rote to Anko as if she was quoting an important document. "I blame the Shodaime for that stupid Clan Sovereignty Act and every knuckleheaded Hokage that supported it."

"The acting Hokage had to make a call," Anko mumbled out, to which Keina agreed with a firm nod and another disgusted look at Hiruzen.

"Clearly my wanting to adopt my nephew and make him my Sochi was a problem and Jiraiya couldn't allow anything to ruin his future plans." Anko interjected as something was poking her brain and had been for a while now.

"Wait, I thought the Council was responsible for blocking every attempt to adopt Naruto." The response to her quasi-question came from the old man behind the desk.

"The Council can only interject in non-clan related issues and, therefore, can only block civilian requests concerning Naruto before he became a student in the academy. Without a clan to back him," Keina snorted in disgust here, "or some measure of shinobi training, Naruto fell under their cognizance until he entered into the academy and became a probationary shinobi under my authority." Anko nodded in understanding.

"So, that explains why the first orphanage matron and the Ichirakus couldn't adopt him. But who blocked you?" Her finger once again indicated the Uzu native. "…And me?"

"Come on now, Anko. If you think about it long enough, you're bound to puzzle together the answer to that easy question."

In truth, it wasn't a terribly hard leap of logic. Only one person had been actively inserting himself between her and the gaki since he was a child. Only one person had the authority to countermand a blood relative and three Konoha clan heads trying to adopt the boy over the course of one and a half decades. Only one had made a total nuisance of himself today as he wrestled Anko out of telling his sordid little plot involving winning over Nadeshiko Village by sacrificing his godson.

"Jiraiya!" It was less of an answer and more of a curse mixed in with a guttural growl. "But he's never around to look after Naruto!" Hiruzen winced almost imperceptibly here. "I should know. I have watched over the boy for most of his life. The white-haired bastard doesn't care about him!" She was raging now, her purple hair fisted in both hands, the bucket nearly toppling out of her lap.

"You must understand, Ji-." Anko, for the first time in her life, dared to interrupt and yell at her beloved Hokage.

"If you dare defend that perverted bastard, I swear I'll lose any respect I've ever had for you, Hokage-sama!"

Keina grunted a terse laugh, the "I tried to tell you, old man" sort of laugh.

Anko looked back to the beautiful Uzumaki woman in shocked realization. "But that means…"

"You would be correct in assuming this means that Naruto's greatest obstacle to a happy life was never the equally sick bastard Danzo who wants to turn him into a mindless weapon." Keina leaned back and folded her arms across a disturbingly feminine chest, one she had kept amazingly hidden for the last fifteen years by an immaculate henge.

"Apparently, my not being an 'official' kunoichi was problematic. With no real ties to Konoha despite the Uzushio-Konoha Treaty, I was a flight risk and could not be trusted with custody of my own flesh and blood."

Hiruzen sighed again here. "You stated a clear desire to flee Konoha with the boy!" Anko grinned seemed like a very old argument between the two. They were like childhood friends.

"There were armed mobs gathering outside your tower on a weekly basis calling for Naruto's death! What was I supposed to do?!"

Hiruzen's reply sounded canned. "Trust in Minato's judgment."

Keina was not amused. "Oh?! Look how well that has turned out for Naruto thus far!" That blow stung the old man deeply.

Her rage was barely contained but the pained look on the Sandaime's face told the experienced interrogator volumes of information. Konoha had clearly not met the Yondaime's expectations. Her many visits to the hospital after some idiotic attack bore proof to that.

"Bottom line, I couldn't take him with me, so I needed to be able to stay near enough to watch him and wait for the pervert to foul up bad enough to take Naruto from him by force. And you nearly ruined that today." Anko leaned back in her seat and started chewing on her lower lip, a clear sign that she was processing information.

"Let me see if I have this worked out. Naruto, being Kushina's son, falls under the Kono-Uzu Treaty, meaning in any other situation you'd be able to take him from Konoha and no one here could do anything to stop it." Keina nodded indicating she had that part correct.

"But because the father's last will and testament of the Yondaime partially overrides that…," Hiruzen looked shocked that she knew while Keina merely grinned evilly. Anko noticed and stopped mid-sentence.

"Oh, come on. Anyone rubbing more than two brain cells together could see the resemblance and you remember who adopted me into her family before my bastard sensei took me in, right? I knew she was banging the Yondaime. Hell, even I knew at the age of seven what the noises I heard at night meant." Anko's face was condescendingly trite as she stared at her outwardly prudish Hokage.

"Like I was saying, the Yondaime's will partially overrode the treaty and appointed Naruto as a ward under Jiraiya, who promptly abandoned his charge to peep on women all across the elemental nations, the bastard. The problem here is that he's done just enough to stay on Naruto's good side and we both know just telling Naruto that his godfather is out to make his life hell won't be enough. Plus, we all know Jiraiya isn't going to give up his claim on him, for whatever reason. Naruto has to see it with his own eyes in order to turn against the white-haired pile of garbage and leave him or the Sannin has to commit an act that blatantly violates Uzushiogakure law, meaning you're free to take over as his guardian." She looked up from her thoughts into the gleaming eyes of her two tormentors.

"How'd I do?" Hiruzen clapped his hands together happily and began pouring tea from the lukewarm service for the three of them.

"Pretty good, Ko-chan. You're almost ready to leave with them on Monday." Anko blinked like a deer caught in the early morning by a hunter.

"Uh, wait-a-minute what?"

Keina slapped a scroll into her hand while the Hokage deposited and cup of tea into the other.

"That scroll has some information you'll find very helpful as you go with the contingent to Nadeshiko. Your new mission is to make sure we don't lose Sochi to the man-eating kunoichi there and Jiraiya's stupidity."

"But-." Anko paused as her Commander's palm came up to cut her off.

"Your chance to back out of this disappeared the moment you appeared in front of Naruto's apartment this morning. I've cleared your assignment with both Ibiki and Inoichi and they agree. This is more important. Everything you need to know is in that scroll, including a copy I made for you of the original Uzu-Kono Treaty. Fail this one, _Agent Mitarashi_ , and I'd consider staying in Nadeshiko if I were you."

Anko gulped and nodded her head once indicating that she understood even if she didn't like what she understood. Naruto was not going to be pleased with this development.

 **~ Meanwhile… In Naruto's Mindspace ~**

 _It was as Inoichi's mind registered the empty cell and the opening leading to a forest of enormous trees that all three heard the distance roar of an enormous beast and the furiously scrabbling steps of something fleeing for its life._

 _Inoichi glanced to the smirking face of Naruto and his red-headed escort then back to the cave opening as the aforementioned sounds drew closer. Just as he was about to cancel his jutsu and make a "strategic withdrawal," the Kyuubi, in all its terrified glory, dashed, stumbled, tumbled, rolled, then splatted against the bars of its cage with a resounding clang of flesh on metal._

 _All three lesser beings winced at the spread-eagled bijū's impact._

 _Apparently immune to the immense pain a body should feel, it scrambled up from its undignified sprawl to firmly place its back against the safe metal of its normal home._

 _Not two minutes later, as Inoichi was trying to comprehend the sheer terror on the face of the_ Nightmare of Legends _, a paw as large as the Kyuubi's head (attached to an orange and white furred arm bearing black stripes and claws bigger than Inoichi's body), shot into the cave opening to dig deep gouges into the stone floor of Kyuubi's home._

 _"Welcome home, Kyuubi-san," Naruto oozed out with utter joy._

 _Even though Naruto was grinning from ear to ear, Kyuubi's terrified grimace both worried Inoichi and set him on edge. What on earth would be horrible enough to scare the_ Kyuubi _?!_

" **I truly despise you,"** the great bijū growled out.

Naruto glanced up to the paw trying desperately to plow its way into the cave to retrieve its favorite new toy. "That will be all, Khan. Thank you."

Just like that the weaponized appendage withdrew, and its owner chuffed out a mewling sound that vibrated Naruto's ribcage. Whichever half of the tiger's face they could see beyond that vanished with the rest of it into orange and black particles carried off by the wind.

" **You're a sick bastard, Naruto,"** the enormous ball of orange fur rasped out, its body slowly relaxing from the far forward edge of its prison.

"Come now, Kyuubi. I wanted you to know that I had a way to keep you well behaved in my mindspace. If I just _told_ you that I did, you would have laughed it off and ignored me, yes?"

The disgruntled huff from the bijū said it all. Naruto knew exactly how hard a time the most powerful of the nine had with his childhood imaginary friends. Powerful though he may be, you can't destroy something that reforms almost instantly, is larger and faster than you, and never tires.

Khan had been one of four imaginary friends brought on by a popular series of children's stories and he had been the most intimidating of the bunch, but the story came with a bear, a panther, and a wolf to round out the mix. Despite the enormous range he'd provided for the bijū in his mindscape, four predators you couldn't obliterate with a bijū bomb or foxfire made for a frightening reality.

"I will promise you this," Naruto began as the still panting fox glared sideways at him, "I'll never summon my four guardians so long as you and I cooperate and play nice with each other. I'll give you unfettered control over the forest, the plains, the mountains, and free reign to terrorize the small town and larger village I built so you could rampage to your heart's content. The beach and ocean remain _Umihebi_ territory. Deal?"

The fox had been turning more sullen after his encounter with the bijū-sized tiger, especially since he'd never had the chance to go much beyond the mountainside where this den apparently rested. Naruto's mention of the additional features of the mindscape wiped the frown from its face almost immediately.

"You have to agree to come speak with me if we have important issues to discuss though, such as evil tyrants trying to enslave us both or murder us in our sleep." The Kyuubi chuckled but agreed, sticking one massive claw beyond the edges of the bars so that Naruto could clasp it and confirm the deal.

" **We have an accord, maggot."**

Naruto deflated but noticed that the fox curled up on his pillow rather than immediately saunter back outside and chuckled briefly. "I've been demoted again. That should change when you reach the village and smash it flat." Inoichi flinched at the callous statement from his patient who noticed.

"It's okay, Inoichi-san. They're not real people. I'm offering the bijū a chance to vent some steam after his long lock up. Aren't you the one that told me stress relief is vital to keeping a healthy mind?"

Inoichi nodded gingerly despite not having this type of stress relief in mind. Wholesale massacres were definitely not on the approved healthy outlet menu even if they were talking fifty-foot-tall demonic foxes. The fact that the Kyuubi spoke, and intelligently at that, was a startling enough revelation.

"How do we go about locating the fragment we need?" Ku-chan asked a bit nervously. Her eyes were darting about the cave never staying on one spot for too long.

"Oh, that's the easy part, Ku-chan." Naruto closed his eyes taking several deep breaths, his mind reaching out across the entire mindscape. Passing through the cave and into the descending mountainside, through the dense forest at the base, his consciousness spread out across the plains in tendril-like fingers. His head jerked twitching slightly towards his right shoulder, his face breaking out into a mild smile, his deep blue eyes looking through the napping bijū and the cave wall behind him.

"Found you," he whispered darkly before latching onto Ku-chan with one hand and Inoichi with the other. Just as the red-headed clone squeaked out a surprised sound, all three of them vanished with the rapid woosh of air imploding in on itself.

~III~

The great Kyūbi's head swung over in the direction he felt his jailor and huffed once. This was _definitely_ not the bijū's fight and, after a very trying morning running from a giant tiger it could not kill, a nap was definitely in order. Kurama had gotten soft lazing about over the years but before that could be remedied (the great bijū's thought process froze as a cavern-shuddering yawn unhinged its jaw), its eyes slid resoundingly shut.

~III~

When the swirling dust settled, the world reshaped itself into unending chaos as explosions rocked the nearby earth sending a shower of dirt and rocks down upon the trio's shoulders. Ku-chan recoiled from the horror before her eyes.

In the vast plain of Naruto's mind, a small farming village lay nestled alongside a pleasant river flowing down from the mountains. The sky above was incredibly clear with a soft breeze wafting gently across row upon row of wheat stalks standing taller than the lean Yamanaka Clan head. All in all, it would have been a perfect day with children running and laughing through the dirt-packed streets of the sleepy village with thatched roofs.

Instead people were screaming, cursing, and running for their lives.

While the rice paddies were safe from fire, the aforementioned wheat needing to be harvested was instead going up in flames faster than the three could comprehend. Two huts near each other exploded violently into mushrooming gouts of flame as villagers scrambled to find any form of safety from the hungry conflagration, the streets already cluttered with the dead and dying.

Standing near a shattered maypole in the exact center of the village cackling maniacally stood an orange-clad blond, his arms raised triumphantly to the skies. It was almost like he was worshipping the fire licking hungrily at both the villagers and the dwellings they used to call home.

"I think you've had enough fun for one day." Naruto's voice was without humor or inflection but clearly loud enough to draw the psychotic's attention. The cackling stopped immediately.

"About time you showed up, runt." When the figure turned around, Naruto's double stared back across the smoldering dead. Exact double would have been misleading as, instead of Naruto's soul-searching blue eyes, this Naruto had empty pits of inky blackness.

The evil Naruto was clearly less than impressed.

"You can't be serious? Is this the part where we battle, you struggle to overcome me, but all appears lost until you miraculously rally in the eleventh hour?" The dark fragment's hysterical laughter was anything but comforting.

The original merely shrugged apparently unconcerned.

"Okay, okay…" the rage-based fragment began once he could draw in a solid breath, "I'll humor you." It straightened up lifting its hands from its knees or midsection, the odd tittering giggle escaping its mouth.

Oddly enough, the Ku-chan clone didn't find his smile at all soothing like she did the original.

"Let's get started. These punching bags weren't very satisfying once things got started so you might be a bit more entertaining." It cracked its neck and dashed off towards the original with a demented smile plastered all over its face.

Naruto dropped down into his initial stance for all intents and purposes appearing to match up against his clone. The clone yelled out with joy shooting one fist as a feint intending to follow up with the opposing elbow. Both his smile and happy shrieks puttered out as Naruto's leading hand shot up to block his lead punch, just as expected, but then refused to let go. Already committed to the follow-through, the evil clone grunted as his elbow met Naruto's other hand with a meaty slap only to be equally stuck. It was like trying to walk through rapidly hardening cement.

The clone's dark eye sockets expanded in comedic fashion as the truth hit him. The original wasn't trying to wage a war of attrition; Naruto was using chakra to stick to his opponent like a wall or a floating leaf. He was trying to capture, not kill.

"Who said anything about trying to win a fight?" The sadistic grin on the face of the original unnerved the fragment of Hatred and he began frantically trying to reverse his way out of the engagement. He tugged. He jerked. He twisted. When he couldn't break free through brute strength, he lashed out with his strong leg only for the original to trap it by lifting his foot and stomping down on the fragment's instep.

Hatred bellowed curses after the initial wash of pain swept over him, his leg equally trapped as well.

"Now, Ku-chan." The evil half's head whipped around to see the female calmly walk over while the original rooted him in place.

"No! nonononononononono! Release me!" He found out it was useless as the gentlewoman confidently stepped around behind him then wrapped one of her arms around his shoulders as the other hand clamped down on his forehead.

When the blond mind walker placed both palms, one on either fragment, his world exploded into a blinding flash of light, Hatred shrieking out his rage for the final time.

When the surge of light vanished, all that was left was Inoichi and a rapidly blinking Naruto.

"How do you feel?" the head shrink asked cautiously, the question fading out as the moments slowly ticked by.

"At peace," came the tentative response. Naruto didn't feel angry at the villagers even though painful memory after memory flooded back to his mind, things he'd buried years ago in order to choke back his rage and resentment. He wasn't feeling very forgiving, he'd just moved on to the happier memories spawned by his special clones and, later on, his new friends and teammates. Gone was the constant inner turmoil as he raged over the injustice of his life.

He remembered the anger. He just didn't have the burning passion to do something about it and that would have to do for now.

The younger man blinked and wave one hand through the morning air while looking past Inoichi's shoulder. When the taller blond spun around, gone were the smoldering corpses and gutted remains of houses and huts. Children were once again racing pell-mell through the village while parents chatted and waved to one another. A colorful flag waved gently in the breeze from the very top of the maypole.

Inoichi blinked once more to clear residual smoke from his eyes, swept his gaze over a completely restored scene of domestic life and sighed happily. Releasing his jutsu, the two awoke to the quietly ticking clock of Inoichi Yamanaka's home office.

~III~

Naruto had been honest when he stated he felt at peace. For years, his insides had been knotted up in uncertainty, confusion, and anxiety. Never knowing who to trust or how to weave his way through day-to-day life kept him in a ready state of "fight or flight" and it was only after the haze of rage had been parted (not lifted) that he could see beyond the trees of his emotions.

The added benefit of accepting what made him angry was being able to accept what made him happy and the pretty blond Genin walking into the flower shop as he was leaving was one of the few bright spots in his life. Remembering their last parting, what was once the feminine perspective of Ku-chan could see her point of view and sympathize despite Naruto's growing heartbreak and confusion.

Naruto was a guy and tended to think guy thoughts. Things were fairly cut-and-dry, either you liked someone, or you didn't, and he was pretty sure that she liked him. I mean, why put herself through all of that, why bare her body to him _twice_ if you weren't comfortable around him to some degree? You didn't kiss someone unless a fire burned somewhere deep down, right? It was simple, overly simple more than likely, but guys tended to over-simplify when it suited them.

A female's mind tended to run in more complicated circles and Ku-chan had a different view of things he hadn't even considered. How did Naruto feel about her after years of bullying at the academy? Was he weirded out by her forwardness? Did he think she was _easy_ after what happened in Istoria and now his apartment? Did he think she was a tease given how she led him on? What did he expect out of a relationship? Could he become husband material? Did he even want children? Could he rebuild his clan?

All of the thinking was hurting his brain so, in an effort to still the hysterics running rabid through his mind, Naruto smiled at the stunned looking girl and calmly walked past her to the door of Yamanaka Florals. He was going for "polite discretion" trying to honor her request for space.

"So, we're not even speaking now? Is that it, Naruto?"

He froze with a hand on the door handle and sighed. _'I just can't win them all.'_

Slowly turning to face the pained look on Ino's face, Naruto approached to within arms reach and gently clasped her cheeks with both hands. Her eyes ballooned as her own hands overlaid his, her mouth gaping in shock. Naruto placed his forehead against hers, his eyes closed as he inhaled her sweet perfume and held her still for just a moment.

"You asked for space and I am gonna give it to you. If it wasn't for my appointment with your dad, I wouldn't have come by today." He opened his eyes and stared into his teammate's for a few seconds, before casually brushing her bangs back over her right ear.

"Take as long as you want to think things out, Ino. As long as I'm able, I'll be here when you're ready to talk to me." He gently kissed her forehead and backed his way out of the store, his warm smile the last image she would see as the bells chimed his departure one last time.

Ino stood there gaping long after he'd departed and crossed the city back to his own neighborhood, a certain warmth blooming in her lower abdomen as the urge to find drier underpants overtook her.

Though his heart was heavy, Naruto's day was going well. Inoichi had even given him exercises to help draw someone willingly into his mindspace, a tricky situation once he explained it was for his use with a family summons and not his daughter. Inoichi expressly forbid Ino from romping around in his still very dangerous mindscape. Hopefully, he'd be able to draw in the siblings soon.

' _ **I found your other presents.'**_ Naruto's eyebrow perked up as he strolled into the Red-Light District.

'… _And?'_ He heard the bijū huff, but the rest of its words were unintelligible.

' _I'm sorry, I didn't catch that,'_ he shot out again.

'… _ **k you.'**_ More mumbling followed.

' _I'm going to assume you're immensely grateful and my gifts have touched your heart, if a chakra being had a heart. Furthermore, you want to express your undying gratitude to this lowly maggot but you're too choked up to form words so I'll let this moment pass in silence.'_ He could almost see the affronted grimace on Kyūbi's face before the raucous laughter echoed across his frontal lobe.

' _ **Whatever helps you sleep, monkey.'**_ Naruto merely chuckled and passed the remainder of the trip with a pleased smile on his face. It lasted until his skin started tingling as he neared the street in front of his flat.

~III~

"Are you sure we should be here, sister?" The white-robed blond glanced sideways at the redhead leading their little cabal.

"We were ordered to observe and report back should there be – difficulties. That is exactly what we shall do." The four identically-garbed women stood quietly on the rooftop across the street, the garish lights of The Cherry Blossom hiding them from the street below.

Four pairs of eyes calmly watched the blond jinchuuriki stroll down the street and up the stairs to his dwelling, one of them blushing as she remembered a certain whisker-marked pair of cheeks nestled between her still warm breasts.

~III~

' _ **You have company, human. Try not to die.'**_ The comment from his tenant surprised him. He could feel the dark energy coming from his apartment as he stood on the far side of the door. For skilled shinobi, it probably wouldn't have been very difficult considering his sealing talents were far from tested. The fact that he could feel several presences inside his home made him both angry and annoyed.

Before his more aggressive training regimen, he might have thrown the door open and charged in kunai blazing. Training with a sensei, and more importantly Anko, had taught him to be cautious with the unknown and he had four unknowns waiting patiently for him just beyond his front door.

With a heavy sigh and despite better judgment, he opened the unlocked door and stepped inside with his punch knives drawn. The sight of gleaming blades was enough to keep the two on either side of the door from jumping him immediately. In fact, they backed off and gripped the lead-filled saps in their hands a bit more tightly.

"So, our little surprise wasn't such the shock we had hoped." Naruto's deep blue eyes counted the third person standing near the hallway leading back to his bedroom and the speaker in the far corner. Their empty masks with the kanji for _Ne_ , followed by a four-digit number, beneath the right eye of their mask identified them as something more than ANBU initiates.

"You aren't welcome here. Leave." The Genin hoped the message was simple enough, and his posture threatening enough, to convince them to depart in peace. His hopes for a quiet night were predictably shattered a moment later.

"Danzo-sama wishes to speak with you."

Suddenly the light clicked on and Naruto didn't think a polite refusal was going to get the message across. He'd heard enough caution from Jiraiya to know anything related to the "mysterious mummy" he'd never personally met was a bad thing, a very bad thing.

"Sorry, I'm a bit tired, gang. Long day you see. I think I'll pass so give my regards to your boss, m'kay?"

"Danzo-sama does not reschedule." The two beside him squared their feet up and charged only to come face to face with a solid clone apiece. Another dashed off to meet with the third one blocking his path to the bedroom while Naruto dashed free and clear into the narrow hallway.

A surge of chakra and a puff of smoke alerted him to the [ _Body Flicker_ ] as the speaker of the squad appeared halfway between Naruto and his bedroom, a small club gripped firmly in his gloved hand. Naruto grinned and kept charging, the knuckles of his punch knife blocking the lead-filled stick thudding against his enclosed fist.

Right where Naruto hoped to get him.

~III~

Outside the brunette of the foursome could hear yelling followed by the heavy sounds of furniture breaking. The wall just to the left of the front door bulged as something heavy smashed against it. The four women watching blinked simultaneously.

"I thought this was supposed to be easy," queried a very concerned Agent Kaiyo. At that moment, the front door shattered into kindling as a masked body shot through it slamming against the brick wall of the apartment across the hall.

"Nothing is ever simple when dealing with Jinchuuriki," countered Agent Maeko, her adopted hair of ebony locks curling gently around her equally-borrowed facial features.

~III~

Inside, the agent squaring off against the original took pride in his new Jounin title. He'd work diligently over the last four years in Danzo-sama's _Root_ organization, his recent promotion obtained with his leader's blessing during the regularly scheduled tests in full view of his peers.

Backed by three competent Chunin, it should have been a simple matter to corral a Genin fresh out of the Academy. Intelligence indicated his four-plus months of freedom wasn't nearly enough to undo years' worth of sabotage at the hands of his instructors and peers. This, for all intents and purposes, should have been a snatch and grab requiring less than thirty seconds to wrap up the headstrong fledgling.

Reality was shaping up to be very different from their report predictions.

While kenjutsu was his specialty, it didn't really apply to his current situation. The hallway was painfully tight preventing free range of motion. Additionally, his standard-issue Konoha kenjutsu required more than two feet of clearance even with his current choice of weapon, the weighted stick banging against the wall and disrupting his normally fluid movements on more than one occasion. Add in the Jinchuuriki's uncanny ability to stay uncomfortably inside his personal reach and you had a capture gone horribly wrong.

~III~

Naruto was having a difficult time containing his smile. Luring the _Root_ agent into the cramped hallway had been surprisingly easy. It almost seemed as if they expected him to be easy pickings. Oh sure, one of his clones got dispelled but a quick burst later and two more rose up to take the challenge. Things began to slide downhill rapidly for his home invaders from then on.

The first clone evaporating in a puff cued in the remainders that his fledgling work with Gamatetsu would probably be handy in this situation. They weren't using lethal methods neither were thy pushing chakra through the saps, therefore, each clone began reinforcing the outer chakra shell of their bodies as Naruto had been doing at Mount Myoboku. The science was far from perfected, but it paid immediate dividends the moment another _Root_ agent struck another clone with a sap and, rather than the satisfying pop of a second clone, the ringing sound of dull metal being struck reached their ears. It wasn't the resounding gong Big Gama Brother demonstrated during their few training sessions on the mountain, but it was proof that those brutal lessons were taking hold.

The response throughout the crowded living room was chilling.

Hostile agents hoping to mow down Naruto's resistance froze in disbelief. Shadow clones were supposed to dispel after being struck, right?

Nervous shadow clones of the Genin blinked in surprise at first. Once it dawned on them what happened, their open mouths closed into feral grins.

With the added clone to help double team the intruders, Danzo's agents found themselves taking body blow after body blow as initial clone fear of being captured gave way to brief feelings of invulnerability. The two clones landing heavy blows to the body and face of the agent responsible for their "brother's death" channeled chakra into two overpowered sidekicks sending the battered kidnapper deep into the wall next to the front door.

Then they turned their combined attention to the one near the kitchen and the route began, the second agent becoming a human battering ram as his back shattered the front door less than a minute later.

The last agent in the living room kicked away his tenacious opponent, grunted when it didn't disperse, then tore open his cloak to reveal several explosive notes stuck to his chest plate.

The eyes of every clone in the living room shot open in worry.

Naruto, still deep in the hallway, began using the knuckles of his punch knives to shatter every joint he could reach. He blocked an overreaching backhand smashing the elbow joint with a satisfying crunch, catching the agent's surprised grunt even as his attacker dropped the stick into his waiting left hand. Leaning backwards to dodge the overhand swing, he tapped his hand on the backside of the agent's arm to help overbalance the attack and expose the man's short ribs to a healthy straight left, another grunt following the sound of more bones cracking. Without waiting, Naruto dropped his right hand into the man's left hip and followed immediately with a left uppercut to his sternum. The taller foe dropped to his knees after Naruto's combination halted his downward spiral to the floor.

The fight was over at that point. Sprawled out in the hallway, his opponent was leaned up against the wall with his body slumped almost flat to the floor. It all ended when his clones dispersed, Naruto's eyes exploded open, then the tiny apartment was engulfed in the flames of an exploding tag of military grade strength.

~III~

* * *

~III~

 **A/N:** Okay... maybe it wasn't exactly a "Kushina is still alive" plot. My bad. See you next time!


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Three words: _Not da Kushina!_

Okay, off to Nadeshiko in this jumbo-sized edition. Enjoy!

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 21: Final Step of the Shinobi: Moving Forward**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More (Extended Version) ~**_

 _With the added clone to help double team the intruders, Danzo's agents found themselves taking body blow after body blow as initial clone fear of being captured gave way to brief feelings of invulnerability. The two clones landing heavy blows to the body and face of the agent responsible for their "brother's death" channeled chakra into two overpowered sidekicks sending the battered kidnapper deep into the wall next to the front door enjoying the sound of his ribs caving in._

 _Then they turned their combined attention to the one near the kitchen and the route officially began, the second agent becoming a human battering ram as his back shattered the front door less than a minute later._

 _The last agent in the living room kicked away his tenacious opponent, grunted in disappointment when it didn't disperse, then tore open his cloak to reveal several explosive notes stuck to his chest plate._

 _When every note began hissing at the same time, the eyes of every clone in the living room shot open in worry._

 _While this frantic struggle was going on, Naruto, still deep in the hallway, began using the knuckles of his punch knives to shatter every enemy joint he could reach. He blocked an overreaching backhand smashing the elbow joint with a satisfying crunch, catching the agent's surprised grunt even as his attacker dropped the stick into his waiting left hand. Leaning backwards to dodge the taller man's overhand swing, he tapped his hand on the backside of the agent's arm to help overbalance the attack and expose the man's short ribs to a healthy straight left, another grunt emerged following the sound of more bones cracking. Without waiting, Naruto dropped his right hand into the man's left hip and followed immediately with a left uppercut to his sternum. The taller foe dropped to his knees after Naruto's combination halted his downward spiral to the floor._

 _The fight was over at that point. Sprawled out in the hallway, his opponent was leaned up against the wall with his body slumped almost flat to the floor. It all ended when his clones dispersed._

 _The rapid-fire memories uploaded and Naruto's eyes exploded open. That last agent was wired for bear, his entire ribcage layered in explosive notes and the last image his clones saw before running for the hills (the traitors) was all of them lighting up. The blond Genin wasted exactly half a second considering whether or not to grab the helpless_ Root _agent before bolting for the back bedroom unencumbered, leaping up onto the mattress as his arms came up across his face, then diving head first through the window at the head of his rickety bed._

 _His arms, head, and shoulders breached the clear pane with an ear-shattering crash. Then the tiny apartment was engulfed in the flames of an exploding tag of military grade strength reinforced by the still active gas line of his apartment building._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Red Light District ~**

The explosion propelled him across the narrow alleyway behind his apartment, the force of it bouncing his reinforced body off of several very solid objects, the brick walls cracking with the impact. Bouncing along off-kilter, his back slammed into a fire escape and ricocheted his pinwheeling carcass into an available dumpster.

His training with Gamatetsu had managed to make his skin resistant to non-chakra enhanced weapons and slashing blades. It hadn't progressed to a point where he could shrug off the deep-tissue damaging blows of heavy concussive force. Being launched into a stone building like a human trebuchet counted as heavy concussive force.

He felt something in his back and shoulder crack right before his neck and skull impacted something less giving that brick making his vision sparkle and flash. Then the light dimmed as his eyes shuttered closed, his ringing ears drowning out the panicked shouts of people in the streets.

Interestingly enough, Naruto's first sensation following the deafening detonation of his hundred square meters of real estate, and resulting blast furnace-level heat, was not visually oriented. It was sound. His eyes twitched as he listened to the sound of his own heartbeat echoing in his ears as he floated in a pool of very warm liquid.

The first steady _THRUM-THRUM_ jarred him into full consciousness. The second popped his eyes open showing him a very concerned pair of _Umihebi_ siblings standing waist-deep in the large pool created in his improved mindscape. He found the glowing crystals clustered in the roof reminiscent of the tenth dungeon level of Istoria and oddly soothing to look at.

Shifting his eyes to the sibling duo, their transformed human arms were holding his body suspended in the warm water's embrace, his ears just below the pool's surface as they kept his nose and mouth safely breached. The water pulsed in time with the steady beating of his heart, a warm glow illuminating their features and the female's generous curves. Peaceful was a very inadequate description of how he felt.

Then the situation began to settle in on his decreasingly-confused brain. Blinking in surprise as the tepid liquid lapped at the sides of his face, he gave Opal's concerned face a megawatt smile that flushed her cheeks with relief.

" **Welcome back from the land of the nearly-dead, Kit."** Naruto shot up out of the water and spun to face the Kyuubi in utter confusion. **"Don't act so surprised. I am grateful you are not dead yet as I myself am not ready to pass on."** The large fox frowned at the outwardly immaculate avatar of its vessel. **"Please stop trying to die in creative and imaginative ways."**

Naruto's mood turned sullen, his lower lip poking out as his cheeks puffed out eliciting a squealing " _Kawaiiiiii_!" from Opal.

"You act like I ask for people to murder me with creativity," the boy groused. The Kyuubi let the opportunity pass. Someone had tried to make yakiniku out of the boy and the beast was rather drowsy after repairing the internal damage done to its host; it took a great deal of concentration, even for the millennia-old bijū, to force and guide enough chakra through the purification array to spur healing. It wasn't like Kurama could just flood the boy's body with toxic youki as that would cook him alive then kill him slowly turning the frail human into a mutated vegetable. It would be a moot point in the near future once he mastered the annoying frog's _Iron Kimono_ technique but, for now, a motherly hand was needed.

Naruto grinned despite the grumpy bijū as something dawned on him. "You called me 'Kit!'" The fox's nearly shut eyes snapped open and its massive jaw unhinged before imitating a large koi fish a few more times. Choosing to be done with the remaining conversation, the twenty-meter entity spun around once and flopped down with its back to the ridiculously-grinning Genin.

The blond's smug victory was short-lived as Opal repeatedly battered his arm with light open-handed slaps as Titus tittered like a small child.

"Don't scare us like that again!" she bellowed, which for Opal was half a decibel louder than Hinata in full-squeak mode. Pretending to cover up and cower appropriately, Naruto tried to placate the excited sea-serpent-in-human-form with raised palms and tender hugs. Once her shivering manifestation sighed in relief, the shell-shocked shinobi blinked rapidly between the siblings.

"H-How are you both here?" Opal, refusing to budge from her warm embrace with his hand tenderly stroking her hair, sniffled when Titus shrugged his shoulders.

"I felt a pull near this middle portion of my form," he stated indicating his non-existent belly button. "It happened right as you dove through that window then, the next thing I was aware of, I awoke here alongside my sibling. When you appeared almost immediately thereafter, the great fox directed us to lay you in the pool while it channeled youki into the waters using your manifestation as a focus to heal your physical body." Naruto nodded as he glanced down into the water pooling around their waist, his eyes subtly sliding past the large breasts pressed against his abdomen.

All he could remember was being panicked and wanting to pull the anchored summonses into his arms to shield them from the heat. Then everything after was a painful blur.

" **Before you ask,"** the Kyūbi no Youko grumped out over its shoulder, **"no, I did not bring them here. You must have done it before you passed out."** With that disclaimer done, it flopped back down in another huff. **"You should probably return soon before someone hateful finds your undefended body and rams something pointy into it."**

Naruto blanched and began the difficult task of disengaging from Opal who clearly did not want to be let go. He would need to remember both this little trick and try to replicate what he did to pull them both into his mindscape. That would be a handy way to meet, talk, and train with them both.

"It's nice to know that I can bring you both in here, but we'll discuss that more once I can do it again without being nearly incinerated. In the meantime, I think I have a way to safely bond with both of you." That statement caused Opal's hands to shoot to her open mouth, her arms smushing her bosom nicely making her impressive rack appear even larger.

The absolutely terrified looks on the faces of both summonses did not go amiss but the incredibly bright smile from the fading Genin seemed completely unaffected by either one. Opal's frantic expression turned to her brother who merely lifted a palm to forestall her panic attack.

"We will discuss this with the Clutch. They will know how best to proceed." Not knowing what else to say, the greatly concerned Opal whimpered as she faded out.

Kyūbi, who had become re-interested in the conversation, sighed. It seemed another human was bound and determined to end its life unnecessarily abruptly. _**'Just as things were getting comfortable around here.'**_

~III~

"Ugh," was the first sound to leave his lips as the pain and disorientation from being a human projectile slammed into Naruto in waves. Kyūbi was making good on his promise to help unbreak him but the lingering vertigo and queasiness were both a real bitch to deal with and slow in fading, just like the painful ringing in his ears. Everything was muffled and it felt like he was wading through sludge.

When his vision cleared enough to make out details, he blinked in shock. Looking up from the squishy and smelly bed of refuse threatening to make his nausea worse, he was greeted by the raging inferno that was once his apartment. _'They probably wanted to make sure I was good and roasted,'_ he surmised full of disgust and loathing.

It was getting harder to justify protecting the village especially after days like this.

Naruto clambered out of the dumpster, stumbled like a drunken sailor, staggered until he regained enough of his equilibrium to allow semi-straight-line movement, then trudged around to the front of his building to see what was left. He was almost certain that anything short of the gear he had stored on his person and in his seals was long gone and now he had the added hassle of trying to find another place to stay short notice.

Abe-san and his family didn't need Naruto's special brand of trouble. If _Root_ was psychotic enough to attack him and torch his apartment during the busiest time of the Entertainment District's rush hour, they'd think nothing of eliminating the gentile family of four. He wasn't sure how strong the seals were at the A.S.C., and he wasn't itching to give them a test run before he knew what the hell he was doing with _fūinjutsu._ If he couldn't protect them, then he wouldn't endanger them, and it was as simple as that.

Maybe he could sneak a room in the community shelter for the weekend? It was a fleeting thought across his mind right before darkness reached up to snag his consciousness and the world went black.

~III~

In front of the nearly-condemned conflagration, _Boar_ was issuing orders while the Shinobi Corps made half-hearted attempts to douse the flames as they hungrily spread through the bottom two floors. Another gas line exploded somewhere on the first floor.

Until the Utilities Detachment secured the gas lines to the now thoroughly-gutted structure, it would be a waste of time and chakra attempting to combat the fire. Instead, they spent the majority of their time protecting nearby buildings. Meanwhile, Chunin were being supervised by Tokujo Jounin fulfilling crowd control roles, which meant keeping back onlookers and prostitutes from the brothel across the street. Oddly enough, they seemed deeply concerned for the demon-, er, sole occupant of the mostly abandoned apartment complex.

The level of purpose and intensity immediately ratcheted up five levels once the Hokage appeared alongside _Dragon_ , the dreaded ANBU Commander.

"Status," the heavily modulated voice rang out instantly silencing anyone within twenty meters, shinobi, and civilian alike. _Boar_ did his best to maintain his composure with the suffocating killing intent flowing from both his superior and his Hokage.

"Commander, close to eight-thirty, an explosion claimed the entire upper floor of this complex and, while contained on all sides, burns unabated. Containment perimeters are in place as we await the Detachment's successful completion of their job: securing the main gas line to the structure. Judging by the radius of debris and the apparent center of the fire, the source appears to be young Uzumaki's apartment. I cannot stress enough that (he pointedly looked to the utility lead) we _cannot get close enough to investigate further until the gas lines feeding the blaze are secured_."

While he couldn't read the facial expression behind the mask, the body language was clear. Impatience and rage radiated from _Dragon_ in waves, much like the fire behind him.

"Stop trying to tell my people how to do their-!" The squawking Detachment Director never got the chance to finish his rant, having stormed up to _Boar_ in an effort to defend his personnel's "lack of initiative," as the ANBU Commander reached out to lift the paunchy man from the ground by the front of his grease-stained kimono. His belligerence abruptly died off like a leaky balloon as his throat's free access to air vanished.

"You have thirty seconds to terminate the fuel lines before my ANBU take you and your entire crew to visit Ibiki." Kimono released and airways restored, the rotund civil servant landed heavily on the rocky ground before scrambling off, his voice shouting orders as his arms flailed about full of purpose and import.

The roaring blue flames sputtered briefly before dropping in intensity and billowing more acrid smoke into the night air. Water jutsus began churning more smoke and flames into hissing steam shortly after that. The fire was out only thirty-six minutes after it began.

The Commander turned to _Boar_ and hissed out, "Make sure he meets with Ibiki when the fire is completely out." The on-scene commander grunted out a pleased-sounding acknowledgment. _Boar_ hated the smug bastard and was tired of his arrogant delaying tactics.

"Does he have to arrive with all body parts attached?" Stares from both individuals of rank made it known that missing limbs would be counted against his performance evaluation so the dutiful ANBU flickered off to spur the efforts of the forensic squad.

While the aforementioned Forensics Squad moved in, once the flames died down, _Rat_ leaped down to the street and held up a partially broken ANBU mask, the right side from the looks of it. _Dragon's_ growl caught the Hokage's attention as he nervously awaited news of his surrogate grandson.

His most feared ANBU held up the charred mask shortly after a gloved thumb brushed away the space directly under the eye revealing the kanji for "Root" and four numbers on its otherwise plain surface. Knowing only blood would silence the now furious director of his deadliest shinobi, a very old and tired feeling Hokage nodded his head once with a heavy sigh.

A clear response needed to be given.

 _Dragon's_ finger reached up and double tapped an earpiece immediately silencing the sparse chatter on the line.

"Priority deployment ALPHA-FOUR-ZERO-MOD-DELTA: Squads One through Four, Squads Ten through Twenty. Converge on Lima IP, Four Mikes, Go-Go-Go-Go!" It was a detailed plan built on simplicity. _Dragon_ ran numerous planning workshops centered around multiple catastrophe scenarios and grouped them into different tiers by threat origin first then type.

 _Alpha_ threats were internal.

 _Bravos_ were external but ally-related.

 _Charlies_ were external non-friendlies and made up the larger population. Konoha had a _lot_ of enemies.

From there, threats were grouped in blocks of ten increasing in number the greater the threat. Below ten meant civilian or political threats. Ten through nineteen were organized non-shinobi crime or academy-level threats and held the fewest contingency plans. Twenty to twenty-nine were Genin through Chunin and so on all the way up to Kage level monsters and full on shinobi-wars. Danzo and his _Root_ fell into the internal organization-level threats and made the basis for the first internal disaster plan Keina ever penned, the MOD indicating either a retaliatory or pre-emptive strike with little to no warning for _Root_.

Even as she blasted across the rooftops headed towards the identified insertion point, the "IP" identifying one of Danzo's three warehouse fronts, her mind began rolling through what she expected to hear through her earpiece. Like clockwork her Captains chimed in followed by squad leads for the numbers she called out, each response indicating a four-man cell enroute to fulfill a specific objective.

In this case, Squads One, Two, Three, and Four made up the sharp end of the kunai thrust, their job being to infiltrate _Root_ headquarters through the given IP; this was strictly scorched earth tactics, no survivors, no pausing to confirm kills. Squads Ten through Twenty were the blocking/ flanking force assigned to cover the rear. Nothing was to get in or out, two squads plugging the hole created by the invasion force while the rest stopped up key exit points discovered through years of grueling stakeouts and detective work.

The two plugging squads were to come through after the fact and finish off anything still moving, breathing or moaning. The Shinigami could sort them out later.

The two sentries atop the warehouse in question were the first to learn of the plan. Unlike _Ne_ , Konoha's ANBU, this strike team in particular, had plenty of branch family Hyūga sprinkled throughout. Stealthy though they were, they were not clever enough by half to evade the all-seeing eyes of the Byakugan. The first of the sentry pair had fallen before the second realized something was not quite right, his eyes expanding despite his conditioning as the first divination strikes immobilized Agent Zero-Three-Eight-Eight. As numbing darkness closed their eyes, ghost after streaking ghost burst into the dormant building below while hordes of their comrades scoured the village for escapees.

Any squad not called out was to immediately begin patrolling routes both inside and outside of the village locking down all non-vital travel. This was an extermination of all hostile forces on all fronts.

Keina's grin beneath her mask was savage because tonight, after over a decade of biding her time, Danzo would finally get what he deserved for attacking her kin and being an overall pain in her rear over the years.

Tonight, she would tear out the weed choking the great tree by its roots.

Having watched his ANBU general vanish in a torrent of wind caused by her departure, Hiruzen's tired eyes lasted just long enough for the forensics squad to lower the first body bag and then they took on a steel-hard glint.

No, he would not feel sorry for his former friend. Having watched his Commander leap away fast enough to mimic a _Body Flicker_ technique, he refused to apologize for the wave of death headed his opponent's way. Hiruzen almost casually flicked the channel of his own radio set so that he could hear the sequential reports as Konoha's ANBU prepared to invade _Root_ Headquarters in order to kill everything breathing, Kakashi doing the same even as the cyclops' eye scanned the adjacent alleyways for signs of survivors. Both sighed in deep relief as Neko's voice came out on the ANBU frequency once roll call for the ongoing OP wrapped up.

Apparently, she'd found the unconscious jinchuuriki blown into a nearby lot passed out due to head trauma and was taking him to the hospital for emergency care.

"Kakashi." It was one word that conveyed a silent command; with the briefest of bows, Kakashi acknowledged the order and multi-sequence _Body Flickered_ across town to meet _Neko_ at the hospital. With one last look at the ramshackle apartment tenement that once protected his adopted grandson, Hiruzen vanished in a swirl of leaves back to the comfort of his office.

His old bones weren't meant for so much excitement.

~III~

From the rear crown of the First Hokage's monument rose three figures draped in cloaks the color of midnight. As the platform locked into place with a shuddering _Clank_ , the two masked members of _Root_ pushing their chakra through a complex (and shoddily made) _Doton_ seal collapsed to the ground joining four others of their loyal organization, their chakra coils depleted and collapsed beyond recovery.

Without so much as a nod to their sacrifice, the three shrouds calmly exited the ponderous elevator after the larger of the three turned one last time to cast a hooded gaze over the sprawling village hidden amongst the trees of Konoha.

Danzo Shimura snarled as decades of planning and work crumbled down around his ears all because of one stubborn boy.

If he hadn't resisted, if he'd only come along quietly instead of sticking to his foolish humanity, Danzo would have had all the strength needed to ensure Konoha stood alone at the top of the village heap for the next century. Instead, he now fled for his very life, the Sandaime's hounds hot on his heels after the first reports of a struggle reached his agents over their private communications network.

He grimaced here. That was an expensive loss that took almost ten years to engineer under the noses of Konoha's proud shinobi force and that was just the smallest loss he suffered that night.

When the boy's apartment went up in a gout of draconic flame, he knew the Hokage would be coming for him in due time. Why not? Were he in Hiruzen's place, he'd of done the same without a second thought.

" _Never leave an enemy at your back_ " was his lifeline to survival. It was just a shame that the old fool finally caught on to that lesson.

Turning away from the glowing aftermath in the _Slums District_ , Danzo padded off along the upper reaches of the monument to begin their tricky descent along the far cliff wall. They needed to be quick in their escape. He'd only get five minutes tops before ANBU responded to the perimeter seals and came after them and it was a very long way to his ally in the Land of Rice Paddies.

~III~

Naruto's eyes tried to scrunch up even tighter as the bright morning sun started poking at his brain through angry eyelids. He hurt all over and the world refused to stop lurching even with him laying on this uncomfortable bed. _'Ugh! I hate the smell of… oh, crap on a stick!'_

Cracking open one shuttered lid, he saw exactly what he expected to see. Above were the sterile ceiling tiles, the exact same ones as his last visit if the stains from his pea-shooting target practice were any indication. Tightly tucked in around his waist were the familiar scratchy bedsheets he hated so much and invading his nostrils came the same acrid chemicals hospitals always bought in bulk.

The only pleasant differences were the blond and bluenette mops of hair spread out across his bed to either side of his body, both faces asleep and turned in his direction. Even if both pairs of eyes were closed, their pretty faces each gorgeous in different ways, were a pleasant way to wake up despite his current location.

"Troublesome blond." Naruto's eyes snapped up to the pineapple-haired Genin leaning against the far wall, his smirk positing both relief and annoyance. "I'll let the nurse know that you're awake. She refused to leave the hospital until you were 'out of the woods,' so to speak."

With that, Shikamaru slid open the door and ducked outside as the rest of his confusing day began.

The girls awoke when Nurse Otoha zipped inside and began her examination, hands pulsing with strong _iryojutsu_ chakra. Naruto tried to fight his rising blush (and other body parts) as three pairs of intense eyes embedded in incredibly attractive faces studied his every reaction.

Despite being given a clean bill of health, the good nurse ordered him to stay put for the morning so they could observe him for signs of a lingering concussion, his earlier comment about being dizzy of great concern. While souring his mood further, this gave him the opportunity to get caught up on the latest happenings. With the sensei of Team Seven (oddly enough) lounging nearby, Naruto couldn't sneak away without getting caught so he busied himself with the company of his friends.

Ino confirmed that his apartment was a total loss. Nothing of it remained but a cat-faced ANBU had come by first thing in the morning to leave a scroll and fresh keys. The attached note showed the scroll was from the old man stating that the keys in his hands belonged to apartment Three-Ten in what was known affectionately as Shinobi Towers, one of four high rises catering specifically to Konoha's military force. Naruto's despair at being homeless vanished as now he'd have neighbors, dangerous neighbors for people trying to kidnap or murder him in his sleep.

Ino then peppered him with question after question about what happened the night before. Seeing no reason to hide the truth, he shared his misadventure with Shikamaru and the girls only to receive several shocked gasps and another resounding "troublesome" from his male teammate. Shika shared that his father was out 'til early morning with the Hokage and wouldn't speak about what was going on but several smoking buildings observed on the boy's trip to the hospital and dozens of injury reports tucked under his father's arm when he came home hinted at hostile action. Shika was betting that Konoha was in the middle of a mini-civil war and this _Root_ faction centered prominently in the whole affair.

Naruto diverted those dark thoughts for a moment when he asked for his combat bracers from a reluctant Shikamaru. Despite their fears that he would make a half-naked break for freedom (they were all painfully aware of his hatred of hospitals), he instead unsealed his mission pack from a medium-capacity storage seal and passed several scrolls to his blond teammate. Her _bukijutsu_ was progressing nicely, however, Ino's _taijutsu_ was still non-existent and Naruto finally had a plan to correct it. She now held in her possession a beginner's physical conditioning plan (custom-written by Naruto himself) and basic manuals on both _Wushu_ and _Tai Chi_ fighting systems. Ino lacked the upper body strength for _Wing Chun_ but either of these would give her a boost to her meager hand-to-hand capabilities.

The blond kunoichi fell in love with the flowing grace of _Wushu_ , in particular, the internal flow of the Seven Star Praying Mantis style depicted on the scroll and promised to start work on it as soon as they got back from Nadeshiko. Contrary to the fierce external focus of Konoha's balanced taijutsu, the Seven Star's _ne ja_ , or internal energy-based focus, seemed graceful and relaxed, almost dancelike.

Once the good nurse cut him loose, the remainder of the weekend passed without incident. Naruto's new apartment placed him snugly between Yugao, Kurenai, Gai, and a Chunin from the defunct Haitori Clan. Two floors above him were Iruka-sensei, Ibiki, and Anko, much to his chagrin. The many other nameless faces would become familiar over time.

Setting aside his normal practice sessions, Naruto spent the remainder of his time checking in with Nurse Otoha (to make sure his vertigo didn't return), the Hokage, replacing his few destroyed belongings, and stocking his new apartment with enough food to survive the weekend.

Opal and Titus bid him farewell late Sunday night needing to return to the Grotto and recharge. Short of an emergent summons, she promised to see him again in two months. Seeing as the good nurse ordered him to take it easy over the weekend "or else," Naruto dove into his storage seals in preparation for his first exam.

Before he knew it, he found himself standing at the eastern gate with his team awaiting the arrival of their client, one Jiraiya of the Sannin.

"Ready to go, Gaki?" Naruto's smile deflated as he spun around to respond to Jiraiya's customary greeting, his eyes locking upon the dreaded Snake Queen of Konoha. Having been brought up to speed by the resident Gossip Queen, Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru captured the rapid drop in morale best with a single thought.

 _ **"This should be boring as all your fleshy kind tend to be."**_ Naruto at first blinked at the unfamiliar grumble from his tenant before a smile replaced his shocked expression.

 _"You never know. This could turn out to be more interesting that you think,"_ he countered mentally unaware that life was doing just that at the Southern Gate as he was leaving through the Eastern Gate.

~oOo~

Kotetsu smacked away the sandals of his lifetime watch partner, the Tokujo Twins filling in as Chunin watchstanders to help perpetuate the lazy attitude most people attributed to the most powerful hidden village in the elemental kingdoms. It was hard work appearing so lazy in public.

As he was about to deliver another tongue lashing addressing Izumo's tendency to sleep through another four-hour chunk of their six-hour watch, his thoughts were sidetracked by the pale-faced Genin extending both his papers and the temporary papers of his rather attractive companion. Quickly licking a finger and running it over an eyebrow, much to Kabuto's amusement, Kotetsu stepped forward to professionally perform his duties.

"So, Kabuto-kun. Welcome back!" Kabuto grinned quite sure that neither of the guards were paying him any attention. He could have brought in a rabid buffalo and his new "attendant's" face would have given him unfettered access to wreak havoc throughout the city. Guren was admittedly a very pretty woman making cold nights on the road quite bearable but he wasn't about to share her with these soon-to-be Konoha corpses.

Well, perhaps he'd save these two for future experiments he mused as the bumbling sentry tried to stall for time with Guren-chan.

"Any troubles out there healing the sick and decrepit?" Kotetsu's smile was warm and inviting but the girl with light blue hair only ducked further behind the retreating back of her "master," the smug Oto henchman uncaring enough to miss her scowling features once the gate guards were safely ogling her hindquarters.

Izumo smiled and stepped up for his turn when he noticed the stunning young lady wrapped in a flowing battle kimono overlaying a brown turtleneck sweater.

It must have been Konoha's lucky day for attractive new faces.

"Hi and welcome to Konoha. What's the purpose of your visit?" Kotetsu gawked at having missed a short at the slender morsel smiling politely back at his partner's look of smug victory.

"Hi! I recently escaped the Kiri Blood Wars and I wish to speak to your Kage about asylum." The smiles promptly vanished from both of their faces as both turned to face one another with a raised fist poised above an open palm.

Beginning simultaneously, they chanted together, "Rock! Parchment! Kunai!... Shoot!" Izumo's shit-eating grin told the whole story as he turned back to extend a welcome arm to their latest visitor.

"Right this way miss...?" He was looking for something here.

"Haku. I am Haku Yuki of the now-defunct Kirigakure Yuki Clan."

~oOo~

At that exact moment, Shikamaru sneezed violently as his _Trouble Sense_ started tingling along the nape of his neck. "Troublesome."

Troublesome indeed!

~III~

The dust was still settling as Hiruzen Sarutobi stalked through the underground caverns once held by his former comrade. The once dimly-lit corridors were ablaze now with extra torches and freshly-applied glow seals pointing out the recent havoc and devastation visited upon the once sacred ground of _Root._

He passed dozens of chambers that were converted to holding cells, each one filled to the brim with shackled _Root_ operatives sitting seiza, their unmasked heads bowed with their false faces clutched in defeated hands. Hiruzen had long since stopped noting the gaping holes punched through walls and doors, some still smoldering with the occasional flame. Moving past the tenth such group in twice as many seconds, Hiruzen was finally led to a comfortably-appointed office where his ANBU Commander was chuckling to herself behind her voice-modulating mask.

"I take it you are pleased despite Danzo making good his escape?" An angry hiss bubbled up through the laughter before the dangerous (disguised) kunoichi slapped a hardbound ledger to his chest, one of many judging from the piles and piles and piles of documentation being cataloged into evidence. Twitching his nose at the smell of burned paper, the Sandaime's eyes flickered over to a charred pile of ashes in the corner before perusing the pages of Keina's latest prize.

"It would have been much worse if his sacrificial flunkies managed to destroy more than a half years' worth of evidence." _Dragon_ swept an arm around the hastily-gathered scrolls and ledgers. "I think he was counting on the Council keeping you tied up in proceedings until everything could be burned. You letting me take action immediately allowed us to flush him out and stop the purge."

His eyebrows rose higher and higher with each flip of the page until he handed the ledger back with a heavy sigh. Danzo had his fingers in many, many underhanded dealings. There were scrolls providing in-depth details of his schemes to weaken the Kurama clan, destroy the Senju over time, and, last but not least, wipe out the Sarutobi clan so he could claim both the jinchuuriki and Konoha. Worst of all, both of his advisors were heavily implicated in nearly three-fourths of Danzo's dirty schemes.

Hiruzen wavered but did not fall.

"How did I let it come to this?"

"Now is not the time for self-pity, Hokage-sama. There is _much_ more to see before we get to that point." The old man looked up from his introspection and paled slightly.

"It cannot possibly get worse than this," he stated waving the damning evidence he'd glanced overwritten in Danzo's own meticulous script. This was only _one_ of the many pieces of evidence no less!

The bitter chuckling from his masked avenger set his nerves on edge as he followed her through a now open hidden passage into another dimly lit room with an entire wall filled floor-to-ceiling with amniotic tanks. Hiruzen had seen fairly messed up things in the two wars of his youth but the eyeballs floating inside each glass tank nearly folded the seasoned shinobi in half.

The feeling only worsened when he found the ones labeled Fugaku, Mikoto and Shishui Uchiha.

~III~

It was another clear morning in the Land of Fire. Anko couldn't see a single dark cloud in the sky above her. After more than a few excruciatingly lonely weeks without her team of Gakis, she'd been reunited with them on a leisurely B-ranked diplomatic mission to a tropical island off the coast just northeast of Nami. To top it all off, she'd been brought into the Hokage's inner circle, so to speak, and it made her proud of the hard work it took to get to that point of trust with the old man. As her eyes raked over the excitedly chatting Yamanaka girl trying to talk the Nara boy into a coma, her eyes landed on the still-widening shoulders of her one-time adopted brother paying rapt attention to the hands of the man she wanted most to strangle with his own reproductive organs.

Her life absolutely sucked at that moment, but she had to play out the hand she'd been given.

A bright blue ball of chakra amassed in the old pervert's palm, the maelstrom of energy growling like some malignant animal despite its heavenly allure of raw power. From where she paced behind the group at a leisurely stroll (far too civilian-like for her tastes), Jiraiya's plan began to take shape in her mind.

He was planning to woo the boy with promises of powerful jutsu lessons. If the man taught him a single technique between Konoha and Nadeshiko he could legitimately claim Naruto as an apprentice and nothing said, "woo me" more than one of the Yondaime's signature moves. Hell, it was powerful enough a jutsu the jabbering girlie even stopped to ogle its scintillating swirl of pure energy.

That in and of itself was an impressive feat and Naruto had been drawn into the Sannin's orbit like a moth to an overly-bright flame.

Anko's face promptly twisted up in disgust as she bit down hard on several snarky options. She had already burned her bridge (while wrapping it in five-hundred B-ranked explosive notes) to Naruto and needed to be as cunning as possible over the next week. It would take at least three days to reach the coast at this pace and another four to five on the water to hit Nadeshiko Island meaning she had at least a week to scheme.

Plenty of time.

The scroll the Hokage gave her had been very informative but nothing clued her in like the small orange book sealed at the bottom of the document. Written in the pervert's own hand was his damning confession to all the elemental world wrapped up in his usual brand of smut.

 _Icha Icha Paradise:_ _Island Bounty_ boldly brandished the escapades of a gallivanting man whore along the tropical coasts of not one but three of the "Big Five." In a collection of short stories, he'd hidden the truth of his philandering ways as the main character snuck into a village eerily similar to their current destination. The story painted a rose-colored tale of the _wrongfully-persecuted_ hero as he outfoxed and escaped the clutching grasps of Amazonian women trying to chain him with their smothering laws meant to subjugate men turning them into breed stock. It showed a glorifying light on the hero's clever trick of delaying his capture through sheer brilliance and ritualized combat, the very method these women ensnared men to their way of life.

In short, the story made her nauseous and angry. She knew the truth.

The Nadeshiko were matrilineal meaning, for whatever reason, they gave birth to only more female children. In order to sustain their village, they needed to convince men to stay and marry them and that meant seeking out men to breed with. As they were a kunoichi village, normal men would never do. No, only the strong need apply.

The problem with strong men was that they tended to be strong-willed and Nadeshikan women would only submit to a man strong enough to defeat them in battle, meaning shinobi. Those that lost, lost their lives to prevent unnecessary rematches. This ensured more women with strong genetics but a miserable life for the captured male since the women of the _Flower Village_ didn't believe in polygamy.

Once you were trapped, you were trapped for life.

Did men cheat (or try to cheat) on their wives? Of course, some did (the ones not worth much as a person at least). If you were strong enough to defeat the woman, it stood to reason that you could overpower her if she caught your infidelity, right? One would think so. Unfortunately (for those disloyal males), Nadeshiko was a village of highly competent assassins.

Men that cheated on their wives didn't live long enough to enjoy their adulterous ways. Most died shortly after the first child was born leaving a large population of young widows in Nadeshiko Village.

For Naruto, marriage to any kunoichi in Nadeshiko was a death sentence for his family line. The Uzu law section given to her by Keina included very specific instances where Uzumakis with powerful genes were literally bred out of existence when taken in by the village's overwhelmingly beautiful kunoichi. Whatever curse that caused the small island's women to bear only more women like themselves was strong enough to wash out Uzumaki genetics and that was enough to violate every clan protection policy in every ninja village on the planet.

Now if she could only get the Gaki to pay attention long enough to convince him of the danger his clan was in. He could refuse the challenge, village be damned, or just refute their claim to him once the duel was over. It would be a death sentence to the Konoha-Nadeshiko treaty process, but she could have cared less. The Gaki, despite the perv's jovial behavior, was her only concern.

Jiraiya swept him under one beefy arm and strolled right out the village gates with a shit-eating grin tossed for good measure in her direction. It was infuriating and, to make matters worse, every attempt to corner the boy over the next two days of walking when he was free of the white-haired freak left her chasing shadow clones.

Apparently, Naruto was aggravatingly adept at substituting with them without leaving telltale signs of their creation. Even her attempts to catch him literally with his pants down ended up with the Snake Summoner grinding her teeth in anger.

She was beginning to regret her rash actions that night in Istoria. Hell, she came close several times to breaking down and lying about her feelings for him just to get Naruto to sit still for two minutes. All she needed was two minutes to apologize and explain why she said what she did, and she couldn't even get that!

In desperation, she turned to the last person she'd ever go to for help with a guy of all people.

"Yamanaka!" she hissed out the second night of their trip. "I need your help with something."

~III~

Jiraiya smirked as the frustrated Tokujo huddled with her female partner in crime after the group set up camp for the night, Naruto's clones making short work of the task. It didn't matter to him what she did; there wasn't any way she could turn Naruto against him in time. Flicking his eyes back to the fresh campfire, they raked over the swirling mass of chakra resting in his godson's palm and he silently swore to himself despite the pained smile carved onto his face.

It took him nearly a year to learn this bloody thing and the boy mastered the first two steps in a matter of days. If he hadn't struggled with the first step, Jiraiya would have sworn the boy had been practicing before now. Mentally shaking off his green-eyed displeasure, Jiraiya turned his full attention back to helping him master the final step of the A-ranked raw attack form.

"Stage three is combining stages one and two to make a powerful sphere." Jiraiya compressed the sphere in his own hand, the orb pulsing with new light and life even as it shrunk in on itself. The growling whirr of energy took on a higher timbre and hummed to life.

Naruto's head whipped back to his lazily spiraling orb of power and his face scrunched up in teeth-gnashing concentration. His left hand gripped his right wrist as his fingers curled into hooks, sweat beginning to bead on his straining forehead as his own _Rasengan_ pulsed, shrunk in on itself slightly, then began to flash and fluctuate as its speed alternatingly increased then decreased several times before stabilizing again.

Jiraiya smirked. The boy was close, very close. Two days of walking, demonstrating, and coaching and he was nearly there already. Another couple of days and he'd have the technique functional leaving them to develop power and speed with the jutsu; Naruto would need to be able to generate an orb one-handed in under one and a half seconds to be deemed "proficient." Mastery would come only when he could generate an orb in both hands in under one and not before.

He almost felt bad about what was waiting for the Gaki once they got to Nadeshiko. That lasted all of ten seconds before his memory of the overly-endowed group of dark-haired Amazonian beauties wiped that fleeting moment of guilt away. The kid would be surrounded by sensually-clad beauties for the rest of his life and, if his intelligence efforts were spot on, he'd win the hand of one of their fairest flowers to boot.

Hell, the kid should be on his knees thanking him for getting him out that damnable village to a place where he'll be protected and loved instead of hated and hunted. He only hated the fact that his duties kept him away from the village so much limiting his time with the boy.

At least this was one way for him to honor his father's wishes. He could remove Naruto from the incessant hatred of those worthless villagers and give him a little peace of mind. How many times had he pleaded with the Hokage to wreak havoc on the heads of the bastards that put the boy in the hospital? How many times had he tried to take the boy away from the village that hated him only to be foiled at the last minute? Not allowed to protect him, not allowed to take him someplace safe; it was enough to enrage a man to homicidal tendencies so Jiraiya had to find another way to keep him from becoming some brainwashed moron protecting a village not worth his tears.

It was while rereading some of his earlier releases five years or so ago that the idea came to him. He couldn't remove the boy but perhaps an influential enough ally could. Besides, if he got the Gaki far enough away, he could spend more time with his godson. Sure, he'd be mad at first but Jiraiya was sure he'd be forgiven once he saw how much better his quality of life would become.

At least he hoped the Gaki liked women… It made ratting out his last student's son to Marika and her village all the more worth it. He'd play the villain to keep the boy safe if he had to. The old man tried not to flinch as he debated Naruto's sexual preferences. What red-blooded shinobi would be upset by large-breasted shinobi models? Did he like women?

His doubt faded when he caught Naruto sneaking peeks between lessons at his blond teammate.

' _Bah! Of course he did!'_

His short-term anger was well worth it to see him safe. Besides, love could grow in the most unexpected of places and the boy deserved someone to share a life with.

With that final rationalization, Jiraiya pushed his concerns to the side, that brief nagging sensation that he might be doing something underhanded to his godson, and returned his focus to the boy's training.

~III~

Shizuka was moving throughout the village as part of her daily responsibilities, her head nodding graciously in response to the well-wishes of her comrades. As usual, her thoughts were brooding over the message response open in her slightly trembling hands.

Konoha finally responded. Konoha finally acknowledged their debt to Nadeshiko and were sending an emissary to meet the challenge.

She would _finally_ get the chance to avenge her master!

"If the date on the scroll is accurate Lady Shizuka, they should arrive within the next week. We will need to finalize your-." The Amazonian warrior dwarfed her ebony-haired charge, both in height and womanly build despite the painfully tight uniform she bore proudly on a daily basis. Unfortunately, even her domineering presence could not divert the unwanted interruption in the annoying form of Kokuyō Okamoto to her conversation with the future ruler of Nadeshiko Island, his gaudy western clothes doing nothing to detract from his haughty glare and arrogant stature.

To his left hunched his trusted stooge, Ongorō, a large pot-bellied individual Kokuyō employed to carry his many expensive (and ultimately useless) puppets, the baggy trousers of shabbily-patched upkeep as equally disturbing as his always bare feet and chest. Despite his downtrodden presence, the man's chest and shoulders carried large slabs of muscle, needed as Kokuyō's laborer, across his deeply tanned body. If nothing else, he was obscenely loyal to his megalomaniac of a master.

Kokuyō was a puppeteer, although where he learned the art (presumably the Land of Wind) had never been adequately explained. The only son of a wealthy merchant family, he continuously wasted large sums of his family's wealth to purchase or manufacture increasingly elaborate puppets to wage battle against his favorite opponent, Shizuka. To date, he'd challenged her over ninety-eight times hoping to finally build a marionette capable of subduing her body so that he could marry her and, in nauseating turn, subdue the village of Nadeshiko.

To date, he'd logged ninety-eight sterling defeats.

Why Shizuka had never killed the fool outright Tokiwa couldn't fathom. Was it because she considered puppetry not a proper jutsu or combat form? Kokuyō was clearly weak having lost each match in sterling and rapid fashion so strength was not in his favor.

Did she take pity on the spoiled brat now grown petulant adult? They'd been at this annoying dance for years with him making zero progress towards his objective, each annoying defeat pushing the girl's affections even further out of reach. What's more, the aspiring tyrant's efforts only seemed to heap more and more shame upon his trusted henchmen as his master endured humiliating defeat after humiliating defeat. It was too bad that the loyal lapdog could not rebuke his master and help him find a more obtainable wife.

Did he even reside on Nadeshiko Island?

It no longer mattered to Tokiwa. She'd officially had enough of this fool's nonsense as she darted forward with her _Shinogi-Zukuri_ singing proudly, the two-handed blade arcing gracefully above Ongorō's head forcing the mute to cringe in fear and drop the wooden puppet to the dusty ground. Kokuyō railed in anger both at the angry kunoichi and the cowering house slave.

"How dare you interfere with the sacred rite! I-I-If you do, then it's clearly my win!" His eyes had taken on a manic gleam that unsettled the seasoned combatant. "She will need to forfeit and marry me!" He promptly began to cackle uncontrollably.

That all ended when Tokiwa slammed her foot on the ground and an enormous stalagmite erupted from the street impaling the now worthless collection of expensive kindling.

"You forfeited that right long ago, and repeatedly since when the forgiving princess defeated your unworthy hide." The steel in her voice matched the cold steel in her hands as the stuttering lunatic opened his mouth to protest a bit too loudly once again.

An earth-shuddering crash was heard on the far side of the town square as two human-shaped objects launched into the morning sky fading rapidly off in the distance as a sparkle of light, Kokuyō's plan to implement the [ _Hundred Puppet Binding_ ] as equally broken as his latest creation.

Tokiwa seemed immensely pleased with herself despite Shizuka's raised eyebrow. "You have more important things to focus on, M'Lady. Let us proceed to inform the Matron of Konoha's response."

~III~

Per his usual nightly routine, Naruto created fifteen clones. The first five took up station just beyond the tents and continued their _Rasengan_ practice, the remaining ten moving out beyond the camp to take up patrolling stations. The entire time people were going about their peaceful nightly routines, Anko seethed.

Naruto and the old pervert were entirely too engrossed in their nightly training and sealing theory. They were getting way too close for her comfort and it was not looking good for their trip to Nadeshiko.

This would not do.

She nodded to the blond female who nodded once in return. Their agreement was one of mutual benefit; Anko got to corner the Gaki, and she promised to help her win out over her rival. Fair trade as far as Anko saw it and together they settled into the female tent for the night to finalize their plans.

Later that night, Naruto wrapped up his watch shift and, as usual being this close to the shore, was unable to sleep. At first, he found the restless sensation unnerving. The closer he got to the ocean the more energetic he felt thus the harder it was to settle down for the night. Unable (or unwilling with Jiraiya around) to train himself to exhaustion, he folded his body into a lotus position somewhere between the tents and his patrolling clones.

Closing his eyes, he tried to center his breathing and before long felt the familiar tug behind his navel leading to a very familiar sensation of falling inward. Opening his eyes, Naruto looked at the darkened night sky of his mindscape and inhaled the forest-laced air of Kyuubi's new playground.

An exaggerated yawn next to him, followed by the sound of a mouth smacking open repeatedly, caught his attention. Lying next to him was a wolf-sized nine-tailed fox, wolf-sized for normal creatures that is.

"How is it you sleep all the time in any location, but I can't shut my eyes for two minutes?" Naruto sounded annoyed but the fox chuckled with a back-popping stretch.

" **Millenia of practice will work wonders for you, kit."** Naruto smiled even as he reached down to scratch behind the bijū's ear with his left hand. The Great Youko's reaction was nigh immediate as the burnt orange head leaned into his hand as electric pulses raced down its spine forcing Kyuubi's right leg to spasm uncontrollably. The rumbling purring didn't hurt to lighten the mood either.

When he stopped, the now wide-awake chakra beast shook its body thoroughly before sitting down on its haunches with a heavy sigh.

" **Remind me to kill you later for your impertinence, monkey."** Though the nine-tails sounded haughty, Naruto laughed at the good-natured and on-going joke. **"Just be sure to get the other ear next time,"** Kyuubi huffed out.

"Certainly, oh great one." The bijū merely cut its eyes to the smirking human.

" **Have you considered my offer?"** the powerful creature asked, its body trembling with the aftershocks of the rather pleasant awakening. Kami, human hands were perfect for reaching those difficult spots.

Naruto's eyebrows came together in concentration. "I would have to be sure that you wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. My life in Konoha is shit enough already without the dreaded Kyuubi no Youko terrorizing the population." He looked pointedly into the eyes of the attentive chakra entity. "We both know exactly who they'll blame for it."

While Kurama couldn't have cared less for the wastes of flesh calling themselves Konohans, the extra drama would only make life more unbearable for both the mighty bijū and its host. The boy was just beginning to reach tolerable levels of pitifulness.

" **I'm sure we can come to an accommodation."** Another small yawn escaped the fox's gaping maw as it settled down for its tenth nap of the day. **"In the meantime, what are you going to do about the snake woman?"**

Naruto blinked in surprise. "What do you mean 'do'?"

A single eye opened laced with sarcasm yet to be expressed. **"She isn't going to stop, you know."**

"I knooooooooooooooow," the accompanying sigh drawing out his response before his face firmed up. "But she's said everything that needed to be said evidently."

" **Hold grudges much?"** The bijuu's cutting remark nearly made his head explode. Naruto leaped to his feet in anger much to the fox's amusement.

"There are better ways to tell someone that you're not interested!" he roared. Kyuubi's guffaw nearly stunned him and before he could push words from his mouth, the fox's retort rocked him back into a sprawl on the soft grass beneath the large tree.

" **And tell me how well did that technique work out for the pink-haired banshee you stalked during your second year at the** _ **Human Academy for Idiots**_ **?"**

 _THUD._

He had nothing for that. In fact, the rapid reddening of his face told the fox exactly what it needed to know.

"You promised that we would never speak on that time ever again." Naruto's glazed eyes stared out into the enormously large copse of trees as he continued to glow beet red like one of the colored light bulbs hanging from _The Cherry Blossom._ The message, however, had been received loud and clear.

At the time he was still in Neji's class, forever and always to be known as "The Arrogant S.O.B.," he discovered (to his eternal embarrassment) the radiant beauty that was the pre-pubescent Sakura Haruno. He remembered her from a childhood playground incident and she'd only grown prettier through the intervening years. Unfortunately, her inner beauty had shriveled up to raisin-like capacity but the young Naruto, still in his "class clown mode" couldn't see past it. He spent an entire year trying to win her heart failing miserably the entire time, her often violent rejections doing little to deter him. Naruto actually winced remembering a few of the really painful blows he took in the name of love. It wasn't until the fox-hunt that year when a certain pink-haired male shinobi joined in on the fun that he'd changed his entire outlook on the Harunos, life (in general) and Konoha (specifically).

Kyuubi, as much as he hated to admit it, had a very valid point. He was mortified as the weight of his own behavior, as well as the many times he'd complained to Anko about why "Sakura-chan" rejected his love attempts for the broody Uchiha wonder. With a heavy sigh, he relented.

"Fine. I'll stop running away from her." Kyuubi grinned right before closing that single eye.

" **Good. You will have a chance as soon as you wake up."**

Naruto blinked in total shock. "Huh?"

His clarification from the Kyūbi came in a gust of wind that dispersed his avatar form in floating granules of light.

" **That never gets old,"** Kyūbi mumbled out shortly before soft purring snores began to filter through the trees. Settling into a well-deserved rest, Kurama's eyes snapped open at the sound of a thunderous roar in the not-so-far-off distance.

Back in the real world with a curse for the fox on his lips, Naruto's eyes snapped open at the same time only to see a crouching Anko not more than an arm's length in front of him.

He blinked.

She blinked back.

"Naruto I-," she blurted out only to squeak in surprise when his arms shot out, grabbed her shoulders, then yanked her into a tight hug. With her chin resting on his left shoulder, the purplette's eyes began blinking rapidly as she tried to process what was happening.

"I understand why you did what you did." Anko swallowed as her mind began to shut down. "I'm sorry for putting you in that position."

Just like that she had a chance? After all the anger and frustration?! _'This was such bullshit and someone needs to bleed!'_

He released her, stood up, then calmly headed back into camp without another word while Anko's mind began to reboot. He was clearly willing to forgive but it might take some time to "forget," as they say. Looking over to the other blond hidden behind a bush, an equally confused blond by the looks of it, Anko's mouth closed with an audible click.

"This doesn't negate our deal, Anko." Ino rose from her hidden spot and returned to her own tent. If she hurried, she might get another couple hours' worth of shut-eye before they got up and continued on to Hi no Kuni's only public seaport.

~III~

The rest of the journey along the outskirts of Haran Bay to Nadeshiko Island proceeded without drama. Once the boat launched, Naruto shied away from the destructive chakra manipulation jutsu (drilling holes into your transportation usually didn't end well) and spent his time discussing _fūinjutsu_ with Jiraiya when he wasn't staring out across the water. Anko felt like she understood why but kept it to herself since the last thing she wanted was another confrontation with the large lizard that took a shining to Naruto.

There were too many sharp, pointy teeth in that mouth for her liking.

Word of his heritage (unfortunately) had apparently spread among the seafaring community and the crew took an immediate liking to the blond Genin. To call him a celebrity among the sailing folk would have been a gross understatement but the perks were nice; the entire delegation received half priced fares to Nadeshiko Island.

Though he was still grinding through the first book of the series, Naruto's discussions with Jiraiya quickly dipped into the realm of advanced sealing. Having read all ten books in the Konoha encyclopedia multiple times through clones, he had a wealth of reference material to pull from and he was working towards a very complex array matrix judging by the Sannin's impressed stare. Currently, he was reworking chakra storage seals drawing on some fairly interesting additions.

It didn't take Jiraiya long to realize what the boy was doing; he was building on Mito Uzumaki's chakra network design beginning with the individual chakra seal itself before adding in additional regulator and chakra conversion matrices. Naruto had added purification filters at both the inlet and outlet arrays in addition to the triune chakra conversion seal nestled between an overflow regulator seal and a parallel medical chakra array that functioned like a capacitor discharging excess medical chakra. Jiraiya noticed two discharge ports for the medical array but he couldn't see any indicators to explain where the newly converted healing chakra would be going.

It was a very complicated nest of both simple and complex seals arrayed in a multi-layered seal matrix that was several stages beyond what Mito had time to build before her death. Jiraiya was honestly impressed and said as much as he asked Naruto what he intended to do with something like this.

The boy's, "Change my reality," was just as equally stunning as it was cryptic.

By the time Naruto finished making notes on the hybrid chakra storage/ medical chakra discharge seal he called the "Phoenix Array," the ship docked in Nadeshiko only to be met by the village Matriarch, her protégé, and a contingent of fifty kunoichi.

Shikamaru let out an appreciative whistle at the show of power but refrained from his trademark opinion.

Naruto leaned into Shikamaru and whispered, "I guess Jiraiya's reputation has preceded him yet again." The snorting chuckles from his teammates and the T&I interrogator did little to appease the Sannin's boat-shuddering faceplant.

Quickly recomposing himself, the white-maned shinobi descended from the boat with his entourage in-tow, his geta sandals clacking to a stop a few paces before a dignified woman wearing a sun-yellow kimono bearing three stacked rings of a flower-shaped seal along the lower hem. While her brown hair had lightened with age showing the growing streaks of gray hair, she was lean of build and her striking green eyes were bright and attentive as the old shinobi bowed in greeting.

Naruto noticed as he glanced about at the veritable mini-army of incredibly sexy women armed to the teeth, that a great many of them had stunning green eyes including the quiet one wrapped in a body-and-face-concealing hooded cloak standing just to the left of and behind the dignified leader. He also noticed that the anger in her eyes never left as she focused her glare on his face sighing softly in disappointment, something the younger girl noticed and frowned (further) at.

"Greetings Marika-chan," the Sannin began with causing every woman within earshot to stiffen and scowl while the Konoha contingent facepalmed at his overly familiar address. The older woman's soft chuckle as she stepped forward to hug the pervert quickly dispelled the tension as many of her escort blinked in confusion.

With hearty laughs and more chuckling, the two departed arm-in-arm leaving everyone else no other choice but to follow along or get left behind. Naruto fell in behind his godfather only to find that the cloaked kunoichi quickly fell in beside him. His friendly nod was greeted with a derisive sniff as the girl's face turned away to watch the elegant back of her mentor.

 _ **"Smooth, lover boy."**_ The Genin tried to ignore the earth-rumbling laughter of his unwilling companion. For whatever reason, the bijuu became increasingly more talkative after Opal and her brother returned to their realm. At the moment, it was beyond Naruto's willingness to care. At least the ball of anger was communicating even if everything came with a biting edge to it.

With a final heavy sigh, Naruto's mind began cataloging the extra chakra signatures as they walked along the paving stones to the village proper. Hidden by her hood, he completely missed the pinkish tint to the cheeks of what he understood to be his future opponent in these village negotiations.

 ** _~A Few Hours Later~_**

The considerably taller woman drew down on the obi as she looked over her charge, stern eyes noting the light pink dusting of the girl's cheeks.

"Do not let his rugged appearance and gentle manner sway you, Shizuka-sama. Our honor as a village remains at stake."

A terse, "Hai!" was the maiden's only response, Tokiwa's eyes narrowing in satisfaction.

~III~

Dinner, while laid out in feast-like fashion, was not a festive affair. Oh, everything was perfectly presented, the entertainment (Nadeshiko kunoichi – most likely – dressed in immaculate kimonos playing stringed instruments) gave flawless performances, and the conversation (while terse and unemotional) was minimalist at best.

All in all, it was a completely miserable experience.

Both Jiraiya and Marika, who were seated both in the middle of the table but on opposite sides with their apprentices next to them, noticed and took it upon themselves to lighten the mood.

"I hope time has been kind to you, Jiraiya-kun." The older woman's voice was soft and lilting, her almost musical tones pleasant to the ear.

The large man shrugged. "It took a lot to let go of the war's souvenirs. I found peace in my village's work."

Marika nodded with a sad softness to her eyes. The demands of one's village could bury a body if not careful. Marika had begun to notice similar shackles looping themselves around her student and hoped this challenge tomorrow could jar her loose from the self-imposed imprisonment of her heart. The girl had lost so much with Sagiri's death.

Naruto caught the heavy look from the village leader to the stone-faced, and admittedly _very_ attractive young woman to her right and directly across from him. With the unnaturally serious Shika on his other side and the more talkative Konoha kunoichi on the far side of Jiraiya, he was left with little else to do other than glancing back at her cold stare or working through his own overly healthy plate of sautéed chicken and vegetables.

He decided to step out on a limb.

"I look forward to our challenge tomorrow in the hopes that it can bring our two villages closer." His smile was a tad overly-bright but his words were earnest. Neither did much to thaw out the angry young girl's emotions.

"Hope all you like. Tomorrow I will erase the stain left on my master's honor with your blood."

While Marika's face showed sadness (and her voice mildly rebuked the still angry girl), Jiraiya's face was stone blank. Naruto gave up trying to gain any insight from his unofficial teacher and looked back to the now scowling face with the piercing green eyes framed by gorgeous hair the color of midnight. Sighing for the third time in the day, he pushed past her stunning beauty and asked a simple question.

"What have I done to injure you? Tell me and I'll do whatever I can to make amends." Shizuka, as she'd been previously introduced, rocked back on her heels as her mouth gaped open.

"You mean… you're telling me you don't even know why you're here?!" Her voice was incredulous, her outrage apparent as disbelief spread from her face to the twenty other faces from Nadeshiko spread out among the large table. Each one of them had the same disbelieving look plastered across it.

Anko was doing her best to stuff her mouth with steamed shrimp (to keep her from laughing at Jiraiya's discomfort). "Ooooh! Shabu-shabu!" Jiraiya couldn't help the odd timing, his face twitching minutely.

As Shizuka opened her mouth to scoff at his ignorance and Konoha's treachery, her master's voice silenced her with a single word.

"It appears our efforts to ease the tension between our two villages have failed for the night. I hope we can put this decades-long issue to rest tomorrow, Jiraiya-chan. Please excuse us while I _speak_ with my kunoichi."

Jiraiya's heavy sigh preceded his bow from the waist. Finishing his last saucer of sake, he rose smoothly from his kneeling mat, followed by his temporary team, and left the dining hall with Naruto a half step behind him as the boy bowed slightly to the still-stunned beauty with the heavenly body.

Once the Konoha nin were gone, the chamber erupted into chatter as the outrage flowed from her female corps of assassins in an emotional flood. It was Shizuka's next outburst that silenced them all.

"He doesn't know! He has no idea why he's been brought here!" Before the angry muttering could erupt into another cacophony, Marika raised a palm to still the throng.

"It makes no difference. The debt has been honored and tomorrow you will face him." Tokiwa spoke up on the far side of her charge.

"But what of the custom? Usually, men are aware of the risks when they enter into this." Marika's face remained unchanged.

"That is not our concern to deal with." She turned to her stunned apprentice and gently pushed her mouth closed. "Uphold our honor, Shizuka. That is all we can ask of you now. Should he win," several of her kunoichi scoffed at this, "... _should_ he win, we will uphold our traditions." Her stern gaze raked over every female in the room.

"Konoha may not have honor, but the same will never be said of Nadeshiko."

All around the table, resolute women shored up their resolve and drank to the success of their village's princess. Even though she was not chosen by blood but by right of strength, she was their princess all the same.

Shizuka's eyes took in the plate's flower motif resting before her shapely thighs and nodded once in acknowledgment of her master's order. No one, however, noticed her anger shift ever so slightly from the naïve boy she would crush tomorrow to the arrogant bastard professing to be his master.

She would make the man suffer through his student even if she'd hate herself for it afterwards. Despite her smoldering rage at the man's cheek, how could she hate the student that held no knowledge of his master's debauchery?

It was a shame especially since she found him appealing in that dark blue kimono he wore to dinner.

~III~

"Are you ready?" Such a simple question from the white-haired Sannin. The angry purple-headed woman next to him made an angry leaking sound through her teeth.

"Probably as ready as I'm going to be," Naruto chirped back as he rose to his feet.

His black tank top hugged lean but densely-packed muscle matching the black metal gauntlets hugging his forearms. A wide leather belt dyed the same color with two rows of reinforced holes hung loosely through the loops of his equally dark shinobi pants. Checking the tape around his shins and ankles, he strapped on his black sandals and overlaid the metal shin guards, courtesy of Istoria armorsmiths and Uzumaki _fūinjutsu_ , to keep his lower extremities protected. Patting down the two pouches resting over the sheaths carrying his punch knives, Naruto ran through the inventory in his thigh holsters to make sure everything was good. The last thing he checked as he rose to face his team was the old-fashioned forehead protector.

Today he'd leave the jacket and lower face mask off to prevent any doubts of him being the one in the arena. Today he would make his village proud.

Stepping through his comrades (with one final piercing look to the Sannin) and along the covered walkway from their chalet to the earthen arena, Naruto passively listened to their last pieces of advice as he centered his nerves and stilled his racing heart.

"They fight for keeps so don't let her get behind you. She'll kill you if given the chance."

"Don't underestimate their Gale Fist taijutsu…"

" _ **Observe before you rush in and get us stabbed…"**_

"Never trust a troublesome woman trying to kill you…"

"Keep your eyes off her huge boobs." He paused at that one as did everyone else, no one surprised in the slightest that the old pervert was observant enough to deduce that she had a large pair. "What? It's a legitimate diversion tactic and hers are as big as Anko-chan's." _'Lucky bastard!'_

They all shook their head at the old pervert and resumed the trip passing under the judging stares of over a thousand silent kunoichi.

His team broke off to join the village leader in the V.I.P. box while Naruto made the solitary descent into the hard-packed bowl that made up the arena floor. Attendants were busy clearing away the refuse from the celebratory demonstrations acrobats and entertainers left behind while they entertained the anxiously-waiting crowd.

There stood Shizuka waiting in her body-hugging kunoichi clothes, the form-fitting garments caressing every sinful arc of her slender yet curvy frame save for the rather large cutout showing a generous portion of her cleavage.

Naruto tore his eyes from her chest and frowned. Perhaps the pervert had something there.

 _ **"If you beat her, she will give herself to you. Focus first and rut later."**_ Naruto promptly severed everything but the ocular connection. He didn't need the fox's distractions at the moment.

When the village leader began speaking to the crowd, he began slowly filtering his chakra into the earth at his feet, his eyes never leaving her face. For a second, he swore there was something there in her eyes other than anger, but it faded too fast for him to comprehend it. Soon, the moment passed and they both bowed to each other when prompted, Naruto's mailed hands coming up just under his chin in a quick prayer to Inari as his ears tuned into the last bit of the speech he'd ignored in favor of admiring his gorgeous opponent.

"…and now, for the honor of Nadeshiko no Sato and Konohagakure no Sato, let the challenge begin." Naruto's eyes caught movement in his periphery as the extremely tall woman claiming to be Shizuka's guardian stepped forward.

"The rules are simple. You two will fight until one of you is unable to continue. While death is not the desired goal of this challenge, it is a very real possibility. Do not count on someone stepping in to preserve your life. All forms of combat are permitted. Victory is achieved through knockout, submission, or death. If I order you to break, you will do so under pain of death. Are the rules clear to you both?"

Shizuka gritted her teeth but responded with a terse, " _Hai!"_ Naruto nodded his head when the older woman turned his way.

"Very well then," she began as her hand chopped downward. "Hajime!" Tokiwa leaped backward as Shizuka wasted no time, Naruto noticing swirls of air around her shapely legs as she charged. Since his senses were screaming at him to move, he slid sideways using earth manipulation, a maneuver imitating ice skating along flat earth his clones called "rock sliding."

[ _Nadeshiko-Ryū: Kōha Reppūken!_ ] Shizuka roared as her body shot forward.

It was a good thing he did move as the earth around where he was standing erupted into multiple cracks, some chunks flying outward in concussive waves as the burst of her energy blew the bangs from his face. Naruto glanced back to find a ringed crater of destroyed earth with Shizuka standing in the center of it.

He began cursing himself silently for not learning Katon jutsu when he had the chance. Deep in the back of his mind, Naruto could hear the Kyuubi howling with laughter and yelling out, _**"I told you so!"**_

 _'Thought I disabled that connection?!'_ The Kyuubi roared in his ears.

 ** _"Stop blanking out and watch out for-yeeeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhh!"_** Naruto ducked under the wind chakra laced kick that would have decapitated him handily.

Pushing the snarky bijū's comments aside, he squared up his shoulders and responded to the arrogant smirk from Shizuka with one of his own. Making the _Ram_ seal, he grunted out a hearty _"Kai!"_ and felt the tension melt away from his body, the kunoichi's eyes narrowing as she watched her opponent roll the tension out of his shoulders.

"Now, we play for keeps," he snarled out. With a grunt, the brunette jumped high into the air as her right leg swirled with _Fūton_ chakra once again.

[ _Nadeshiko-Ryū: Kōha Senkaigiri!_ ] came the next roaring technique. It seemed as if every maneuver came at full volume. Naruto dashed forward fast enough it appeared to be a Body Flicker, his lead foot planting and pivoting his body around even as the slender girl's heel made another ridiculous crater in the ground. Naruto grinned and pushed four times the chakra into his first attack than necessary.

[ _Bofū Kyouzū no Jutsu!_ ] he whispered silently, a torrential surge of air exploding from his palm knocking the girl off-balance and sending her ass-over-tea-kettle across the hard-packed ground. At first caught off-balance, Shizuka tucked her legs in and rolled with it springing back up to her feet with surprise reflecting briefly in her eyes.

' _He's another wind affinity!'_ Things were getting interesting. _'Too bad I have to kill him.'_

She drew two kunai and charged them with wind chakra before dashing forward. Naruto responded by drawing his punch knives and reciprocating, the two weaving a dangerous dance of blades as both sets of weapons clashed again and again. Ducking, slashing, weaving, lunging, the two flowed around each other for a dozen feints and ripostes, demented grins adorning both faces as hissing blades bifurcated the defenseless arena air.

With a final explosion of wind chakra, both fighters leaped backward to take stock of any damage. Shizuka smirked as she saw a clean slash across his stomach that opened up his shirt to reveal more of that lean muscle she'd noted with approval before their match. Her happy grin fell with confusion when her opponent's cheeks turned a bright red and he lowered his forehead protector to cover his eyes.

The crowd gasped, both at his bravado for fighting blind and for the reason why he did it. She was about to sarcastically question his intelligence until a stiff breeze blew across the field and made her left nipple stiffen with the cooling sensation across her sweaty chest.

It was a sensation that should not have occurred as her uniform wicked moisture away from her body as part of the material's design. The only reason why it would…

Her eyes shot downward to catch the clean diagonal cut across the left side of her chest, a sliver of red liquid marring the inner slope of her generous mound and her tiny peak standing at full attention. It wasn't the only tear in her garments, but it was the most… telling. With a shriek, she threw an arm across her breast and drew out several shuriken with her unimpeded hand.

Shizuka leaped into the air yet again and roared out her next technique.

[ _Enbu: Ni no Dan!_ ], she roared. Her body began to spin like a top as a torrent of kunai flew outward towards her now stationary (and blindfolded) target.

Naruto, who had been mixing his chakra with the air around his body the moment he covered his eyes, could feel the blades displacing the air in a ten-meter bubble. Pushing more wind chakra into his weapons, he began an almost snake-like dance, the resounding _clang_ as blade after blade ricocheted off of his punch knives leaving the landscape littered with redirected metal.

When Shizuka landed, she was greeted by the sight of an unharmed Naruto amidst a ring of sharp-edged death, the only word rummaging around in her head was, _'Impressive_.' She instead decided to hide her approval of his skill with more angry taunts; she needed to get him to lose focus and make a mistake.

"Did you get an eyeful, perverted student of a perverted master?" Even behind his makeshift blindfold, Naruto's left eyebrow twitched angrily in response. "Stop fleeing like the coward you are and face me!"

In response, Naruto sheathed his punch knives (something that raised many an eyebrow at the sheer audacity) and assumed a more defensive posture with the majority of his weight resting on his rear leg. Lifting both hands chest high with palms relaxed and open, Shizuka stood there for a second while his head cocked to the side.

He was _listening._

Smirking at what she considered to be her advantage, the green-eyed beauty slowly lifted the kunai held in her hand and let fly watching as the weapon multiplied with soft puffs of chakra. Her haughty smirk dropped the moment her opponent flicked his fingers, almost like flinging water from his hands, and slender shafts of solid earth shot upwards like fingers to casually punch the projectiles off course. Forgetting about her torn chest armor, she began flinging more shuriken with both hands.

Naruto deflected it all with more jack-in-the-box type shafts of earth and the occasional short wall produced by his foot stomping on the hard-packed arena floor. It continued until she drew back her right hand to send another barrage while simultaneously reaching for another with her left – only to find her holster finally bone dry. Deciding to hold on to her last weapon, the now frustrated kunoichi charged forward to engage her barely damaged opponent.

Nartuo, feeling the vibrations of her soft footfalls, stepped forward and shifted his stance to a more aggressive one, his body leaning forward as his left foot slid into position. Once his foot stopped, his flexed both arms crossing them in an odd guard pushing downward towards the earth at his feet.

The ground ten meters in front of him receded just enough to trip up Shizuka's left foot causing her to stumble and fall to one knee, her hand reflexively flinging out the kunai it held catching the blindfolded male apparently by surprise as the blade embedded itself in his chest up to the handle.

The audience let loose a collective gasp.

Naruto's mouth opened in shock as the stunned girl began to raise her hopes in pulling out a last-minute victory. Truth be told, she had nearly run out of tricks and she'd definitely run out of kunai not expecting him to be as skilled as he was.

Then the Naruto in front of her exploded into a ball of smoke as two pairs of arms burst out of the ground to wrap around her waist and legs while a pair on either side grabbed her arms. A few minutes of futile struggling proved that she'd only succeeded in getting stretched out and pinned to the ground as a knife-edged hand pressed gently against the base of her neck.

Shizuka's eyes grew surprisingly large as her situation became abundantly clear. She'd lost the duel. To add insult to injury, he'd done what no other opponent had succeeded in doing since she began her life as a kunoichi: he'd taken her back.

Her body released an involuntary shudder as her adrenaline peaked, one that brought another heated flush to the face of the original standing over her.

~III~

Naruto sat alone in his quarters enjoying the silence. He'd tried to speak with Ino after the match but she wouldn't even look at him.

Not wanting to be bothered, even by the very anxious Anko as the words coming from the V.I.P. box after the match echoed over and over again in his ears.

 _Two Hours Before a Really Good Soak in his Personal Onsen_

' _Prosperity and loyalty between the villages… blah blah blah… with this union of our strongest warriors in wedded bliss…'_ Huh? Did he hear that correctly?

Naruto stood there dumbfounded as Jiraiya smiled down at him like some buffoon. His eyes shot to the kunoichi standing at his side, one arm still covering her partially-exposed bosom while her head hung in defeat. Apparently, it was some tradition among these crazy women, but she wasn't arguing against anything being said. If anything, she was blushing even heavier than before.

Another glance around the stadium and he saw mixed reactions on the many faces staring awfully hard in their direction.

Shikamaru's shocked expression was to be expected but Anko's nervous lip-biting told him that she had something she considered important to talk about. Ino's face… well, he couldn't explain the odd of mix of shock, betrayal, and anger. It made his spine tingle in a not so good way.

Most of the Nadeshikans appeared to be pleased although there was a fair share that looked… jealous?

None of this made any freaking sense! He really lost it when the no longer angry kunoichi stepped closer and grabbed one of his hands with whichever one she wasn't trying to hide her colossal chest with.

 _Pre-Onsen Flashback – Kai!_

His door opened without so much as a "panty raid" alarm, the same woman that tried to end his existence not three hours prior standing an arm's length away in a pretty yukata after having closed and locked his door.

That did not bode well.

"No one teaches manners in Crazy Flower Lady Town?" His quip was received with a wry giggle. _'What the… since when does the Ice Woman giggle?'_

 ** _"I bet she makes all sorts of interesting sounds when she's not trying to murder you. What say we find-."_** Naruto abruptly cut every connection with the ero-kitsune.

"There are no secrets between husband and wife, Naruto-sama." As far as he was concerned, she was far too comfortable with that title far too quickly for his tastes.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not-." She slapped a hand over his mouth to silence him.

"I'm not here to discuss our wedding plans, future husband." His eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'm hear so that you can take responsibility for your reprehensible behavior today and render the proper first aid."

That said, she dropped the small first aid package onto the bed next to him while comfortably straddling his lap. Naruto's face erupted into a healthy shade of red the second she flung open her garment to reveal a perfect breast (her right hand expertly kept that side of her body covered) the size of his head, one of which carried an angry razor-thin cut on it. He tried very hard not to gape at the flimsy black panties that rode high up on her hips showing more curve than any skimpy piece of cloth should ever be allowed to.

Sliding down onto his lap, she picked up the box and tapped it gently against his chest. "Make me better," she paused deliberately for effect, "future husband."

He tried to lift her from his lap but she'd anchored her knees to the bed using chakra and he only succeeded in ruffling the coverlet.

Growling despite the frustration he felt, Naruto profusely denied that he'd ever marry someone he didn't love but began gently rubbing disinfectant on the pillow-like surface of her chest all the same.

He was stubborn after all, not stupid.

~III~

The next morning, a very disappointed Konoha group started the journey back home trying to figure out how to tell their Hokage that Nadeshiko Village swore they'd join up fully with the Village Hidden in the Leaves… just as soon as Naruto consummated his marriage with Shizuka, something he vehemently swore wouldn't happen.

The treaty alliance appeared to be on hold for the foreseeable future, much to the pleasure of one Ino Yamanaka and one Anko Mitarashi.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Elemental King of the Mountain**_

* * *

It was another good morning for training. Konoha slept securely, the odd cat scrounging around for the inattentive morsel, the odd mongrel barking at his passing. Most of the great village slept soundly unaware of their faithful protectors out and about on their morning routines and that was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

It would be foolish to believe that the sweating Genin from Team Ten was the only lunatic up at an unholy hour conditioning his body to amazing feats of strength. His many laps around Konoha's fringes disproved that misconception as his burgeoning sensory abilities detected scattered chakra patterns through the various training fields none more familiar than the _Sublime_ _Green Beast_ and his mini-clone. It was the way of those driven to hard work and the grinning shinobi accepted that reality as he did his own inhuman training regimen.

As Naruto Uzumaki completed his twenty-first lap around his sleepy hometown, his machine-like pace staggered to a stumbling halt as a series of memories pelted his mind in rapid-fire fashion. He stood there covered in a light sheen of his own sweat as another barrage, accompanied by the angry curses of the dying clones, rocked his confused brain. A particularly vitriolic memory spurred him once again into motion, the night air whisking past his whiskered cheeks as he took to the rooftops in a beeline for a specific section of town.

' _What the hell!'_ he thought in utter confusion, shock, and… entertainment? It was mind-boggling even to his own chaotic skullpan so he rushed onwards back to Training Area Ten. It was where he'd left his army of clones do to their elemental affinity training after all.

Despite receiving the dying memories of a fair number of his clone army, he was not quite prepared for what greeted his near silent return.

Stepping out from between two trees to get a better view of the field, he was greeted with utter mayhem in the form of small-scale clone warfare. The ground itself had been torn asunder in patches. What wasn't covered in mud was scorched by either fire or electricity judging by the isolated burn patterns on the grass.

Naruto sighed heavily knowing that it would take some time to restore the training field to pristine condition before his team showed up for their meeting but his curiosity as to what was happening got the better of him. So, he plopped down in front of one of the trees to watch what was going on.

He noticed a few things almost immediately, the stray clone death contributing immensely when it came to sorting out what his doppelgangers were doing to take each other out in their vicious war of attrition.

From what he could gather, the rules were fairly simple. All of the clones worked together to create a towering cone of earth in the center of the field, the prize of the entire conflict as it were. Standing five meters in height, the sides were perfectly smooth while the top was sheared flat, the surface just wide enough for three clones to stand within arm's reach of each other. Climbing to the top of the structure, and staying there, was a testament to tree climbing. Fighting on any surface while maintaining dominance required moderate to advanced chakra control.

The goal was simple: Be the group with at least two members atop the smooth pyramid at the end of allotted time. While simple to state, it was more difficult to achieve with the field aflame with sporadic bursts of elemental energy.

No jutsus were allowed. No taijutsu was allowed unless it was required to support your specific form of elemental manipulation. "Killing" a clone was allowed so long as it was an elemental attack that did it. Combining all of those rules together, you ended up with massive bursts of elemental chakra littering the field as clones learned to brute force the finer points of elemental control.

There were five opposing teams, each team allowed to use one and only one form of elemental affinity to fight with. Observing the dwindling number of clones, Naruto noted some original use of each particular elemental affinity with the _Raiton_ group fairing the poorest of the bunch. At best, they could release bursts of electrical energy to either blind or "taser" their opponents, meaning they had to get very close to do it. A few could "juice up" their movement in short, straight-line bursts of speed but the end result sometimes left them dazed (like staring into a photo flash) or singed (if they used too much). A few were trying to stretch their senses to detect the electrical pulses generated by brain signals, something difficult to do with shadow clones given they were pure chakra and the pulses were weaker simulations generated by their chakra brains. Despite its short range and effectiveness when surrounded by enemies, this also put them at a distinct disadvantage with the Doton group despite their elemental advantage. It was a disadvantage he understood once one of the earth users near the "mountain" got taken out by a water whip sending its memories to the original.

The earth users were strengthening their outer shells using earth chakra as a control and endurance training exercise, no surprise there. What was a surprise was how they were leaking their chakra out into the surface layer of the ground allowing them to detect in a perfect circle, something the vaunted Byakugan couldn't even do, the faint vibrations of shinobi as they darted around the combat field. Their chakra acted like a fine array of spider webs providing a scarily accurate picture of where their opponents (and allies) were allowing them to maximize use of their second primary ability; they were using raw, unadulterated manipulation of earth to send slender spikes of earth up from the ground and into clones dispersing them; they were tilting or flipping small slabs of earth (within ten meters requiring huge bursts of chakra) to either throw off balance or smash clones between dual slabs; or one clone was stomping angrily on the ground ejecting melon-sized balls of rock that he could launch with controlled bursts of chakra like short-ranged missiles. It was brutally effective and allowed the Doton group to quickly take control of the battlefield and surround the "mountain" with three of their members coordinating from the top.

It wouldn't take long at the rate they were crushing the opposition as the clone population dipped below four hundred rather quickly. He did note several manipulation skills that would someday pay dividends if his clones could master them.

The Suiton group had learned to coat their bodies in a thick layer of water to help divert heat from the Katon group's ability to eject flame in short bursts from their hands and feet, a pleasant surprise from one clone trying futilely to catch a Fūton user. The wind elementalist was sprinting away perched by a single foot atop a swirling ball of wind, almost like a high-powered sled, when the Katon wielder shot out a fist straining with all his might to burn the aggravating antagonist. His success stopped him long enough for another earth wielder to puncture him and promptly distribute his knowledge to every other clone, making the Katon group grin maniacally and the rest wince with their added range of about two meters (think fire breathers at any circus but from the end of someone's fist or foot).

Things were going splendidly, as far as Naruto could tell, until a stray ball of wind shot out of the tangled mess of clone arms and legs in his direction. Eyes swelling with shock, the cursing Genin uncoiled his body like a spring rolling frantically to one side narrowly dodging the exploding ball of chakra-laced wind. Oh sure, it wouldn't have done more than plaster him into the tree he'd been using as a rest stop, but the sensation would have been far from pleasant.

The clone responsible for the errant attack came to an abrupt halt, his hands shooting up to cover his wide-open mouth as he swore. The grimacing shock on his face told it all but, before he could shout a warning to the battling clone legion, an expertly-crafted earth lance shot up into his chest dispersing the distracted mass of chakra.

The added benefit was that the clone's recent shock at nearly pummeling their progenitor unconscious replicated to every other clone on the field bringing their impromptu turf war to a screeching halt. Every blond head whipped over to make sure he was okay.

Naruto deliberately rose in a slow, methodical manner, his hands brushing away the dirt he'd picked up in his hectic scramble for safety.

"Don't stop on my account," he mentioned as he intentionally retook his seat in full view of the war zone. "In fact, let me make this a bit more interesting."

Naruto unsealed a special scroll, the only one he carried covered in a sunset orange carrying case marked with a _very_ special seal. Over three-hundred-and-fifteen pairs of ocean blue eyes followed his every move, almost like loving puppies watching their owner unveiling a particularly potent treat.

Every clone _knew_ what was in that scroll.

It was the holy grail of Naruto-dome, his emergency scroll of super-duper emergency ramen rations – including at least twenty bowls of Ichiraku's Super Naruto Special Ramen with triple pork and double egg portions kept in perfect stasis.

"The vanquished get dispelled to try again next week. The victors get an early treat with me, the Boss." Naruto actually enjoyed the moniker and, while his clones usually didn't stick around long enough to eat, he knew that they did get hungry and being a good boss meant taking care of your minions.

Unsealing an alarm clock and setting the timer for fifteen minutes from then, the blond Genin leaned back against the tree trunk and smirked. This was better than any elemental tor-, er, training session he could have devised.

"Time starts now gang. You have until the alarm sounds, and… _Go!_ "

Naruto grinned as his clones proceeded to unleash hell on one another with new purpose. Sometimes it was good to be the king.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In This Chapter]_

* * *

 **[** _ **Hyaku Kugutsu Tamashibari**_ **] - Hundred Puppet Binding:** After having their target destroy ninety-nine of their puppets with each puppet driving a "bolt" into the target, the destruction of the hundredth puppet allows the user to effectively take full control of a person's body in a similar manner to the Puppet Performance: Skilful Achievement with a Human Body technique without the person's cooperation. This technique may cause pain to the victim.

 **[** _ **Nadeshiko-Ryū: Kōha Reppūken**_ **]** **– Nadeshiko-Style: Roaring Gale Chop** : By covering one's own hand with wind-natured chakra, the user attacks the enemy with it. The force of the strike is great enough to produce a powerful shock wave that can cause noticeable fissures without direct contact.

 **[** _ **Nadeshiko-Ryū: Kōha Senkaigiri**_ **] – Nadeshiko-Style: Hardliner Revolving Cut:** The user covers one leg with wind chakra and delivers a powerful falling kick to her opponent. This kick was powerful enough to slice through a mechanical puppet.

 **[** _ **Bofū Kyouzū no Jutsu**_ **] – Gale Surge:** A defensive jutsu at best. The user distills the air around him or her with his or her chakra and at the exact moment of attack releases a large burst of air. The blast of wind goes out three feet and knocks a victim back at least five feet and can stop projectiles. It is a defensive move that is usually used when the user is caught off guard. The wind can only be released in one direction however, requiring a short pause while the air pressure around the user normalizes before it can be used again.

 **[** _ **Enbu: Ni no Dan!**_ **] – Dance Performance: Second Step:** The user spins around at high-speeds, appearing like a small twister. While doing so, the user will launch a large barrage of kunai to several targets at once.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** So, Jiraiya's actions it would seem, while not entirely honorable, weren't necessarily spawned from selfish desires of preservation. Whoddathunkit? Does that make him any more or less despicable? Please review and let me know what your thoughts are on what he's done and why he did it?

Also, I never liked the way canon portrayed Kokuyō. The guy has baby Gundam mechs while everyone else is using wooden puppets?! Get the f-… He still got his rear kicked but I nixed the advanced technology. (I never understood why Shizuka was depicted in the series killing all her other challengers but let him live.)

I'll admit, the rest of this section came and went getting rewritten several times. I figured it best to knock the whole thing out in one extra-long chapter to make up for the long delay in posting this (3 weeks, sorry for the wait). I hope you enjoyed the show despite its slow sections.

Next up: the final stretch to the Chunin Exams!

Will Hiruzen live or die? Will Orochimaru and Kabuto escape justice to continue their dastardly schemes? Will the _Umihebi_ turn Naruto from his self-destructive path? Will Naruto and Ino ever pull their heads out of their collective rears and get together? Or will Shizuka tear the two apart? _**Review and provide your thoughts** _as I mastermind the chaos! Muwahahahahahaha!

Soo many questions left to answer…

~Siva'a-tasi


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Back to a slightly better update schedule. Given the amount of material floating around in my brain, wrapping up some of the smaller side issues will take a bit of time (yes, we'll get back to that squirrelly Ebisu soon enough). Right now, Naruto has his hands full in Konoha and is trying to restore some semblance of normalcy in the aftermath of _Root_ attacking him in his own home.

I have this sinking feeling that I'll spend the next few days cleaning up this one; I wanted to get something out to make up for the longer delay attached to the previous chapter. We'll get there all in good time. And once this story is done, I'll being re-posting _Nature of the Beast_. I'm actually looking forward to tackling that monster again.

And yeah, I still own nothing but my OCs.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 22: Love is a Four-Letter Curse**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

" _How are we supposed to explain this, 'Oh Powerful Pervert!'"_

 _Jiraiya tsked loudly at Anko's antics clearly not in the mood to deal with her nonsense. It was bad enough they were going home empty-handed, so to speak. That rotten Gaki was just like his fu-…, damnable mother. He had to be gay._

' _There was no other logical way to explain his resistance to that!'_

 _The elder Sannin glanced up ahead to the Nadeshiko procession clustered around the blond Genin, Naruto Uzumaki, walking next to his (for intents and purposes) drop-dead gorgeous fiancé, and scowled deeply._

" _I don't know yet, Anko, but we have until we return to Konoha to figure it out." Another frustrated clucking followed as his brain furiously tried to sketch out a way to salvage victory from defeat. His eyes bounced between the blond puff of spikey hair and the bobbing ponytail of dark silk, his mind struggling against barreling forward, bursting through the protective ring of swaying hips, and smacking all tasting sensation from the mouth of his mule-headed godson._

 _He continued to struggle with that desire as they boarded the boat bound for Hi no Kuni and the boy stood at the railing with his idiotic grin and gently-waving hand._

' _Please Kami, don't let me kill him before we get back to Konoha.'_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~**

Being the "gentleman super pervert" that he was, Jiraiya knew without a doubt that there were things a man of his stature (and all others attempting to emulate one of his stature) simply did not do. Ever.

These were established rules of etiquette between civilized men, unbreachable in the perverted code and sacrosanct regardless of perverted affiliation be it major, minor, or not at all. To break faith with the rules was to affect immediate excommunication from the order resulting in one's "Bro Status" being immediately revoked pending evaluation of the sacred order. Failure to be accepted upon review was to suffer banishment until heroic acts of daring do (before verified members of standing) to the order of epic questing.

A gentleman of the order never doubted the claims of conquest from a certified member of the order. Gentleman of the order never exaggerated among the brotherhood; stretching of the facts with non-certified members was permissible in order to raise brotherhood status among the non-believers twice per year.

A gentleman of the order never obtained services for full price when stature and reputation often afforded reduced fares (or free) enhancing the order's reputation more often than not among mere mortals.

A gentleman of the order never settled for less than the highest quality of goods according to the approved rating scale (updated annually and filtered down through the established pecking order of senior members, of which Jiraiya maintained elite status.

Finally, a gentleman of the order, when afforded the opportunity to marry or associate ones' self with money, power, or both, expeditiously incurred such privilege with the minimum investiture of personal capital, especially when the source of such profitable notoriety was either a) incredibly young and desirable (again based on the promulgated scale of sexual attractiveness), or b) old and soon to die most likely bequeathing their entire estate to the kami-blessed brother of standing.

These were age-old traditions upheld by countless gentlemen of notable standing among the venerated Society of Gentleman Perverts (of which Jiraiya maintained perfect standing), traditions Jiraiya was well-placed to pass on to his rock-headed godson. This made the boy's resistance to shacking up with the absolutely gorgeous (and powerful meaning – arguably at some point – wealthy considering she controlled an entire village's economy) Nadeshiko Princess all the more confusing. He won the damned duel. The woman's anger, and resistance to spending time with him, all but evaporated the moment he won the match.

' _Maybe he was gay? Damned that Gai! He corrupted my godson with that youth crap!'_

~III~

Somewhere in the heart of Konoha, Guy Maito's eyes narrowed and he fought the sudden urge to pummel perverts everywhere.

~III~

Despite his internal crisis-laden monologue, Jiraiya couldn't help but smile outwardly at his flailing aforementioned godson as he internally goggled slack-jawed at the beautiful brunette believed to have been left behind in Nadeshiko Village. The jinchuuriki's sensitive nose clung to the rare lily scent native to the island from the time they left until their arrival up to the tower's base, something Naruto complained about the entire way home. His team brushed aside his behavior as being paranoid considering there were no signs of the strong-willed woman during the whole journey home. It appeared that his hound-like snooter wasn't imagining things when they entered the Hokage's office only to find her there calmly waiting for them.

Between glaring at his supposed Godfather, trying to ignore the beautiful kunoichi smirking at him from the Hokage's couch with tea in hand, and trying to figure out why the Hokage had that irritating gleam in his eye, Naruto had his hands full for the mission debriefing. He stood to Ino's right while Shika stood to her left in the team leader's position of authority. Jiraiya was sitting on the window sill with his arms folded pouting like a five-year-old. Anko stood to his left with her arms folded in victory, her smirk shooting over his shoulder to repeatedly poke the angry Sannin bear. Worst of all, Dragon stood behind the Hokage (throughout the entire report) and Naruto couldn't shake the feeling that they were smiling behind the ever-present mask.

Naruto, for the life of him, couldn't understand how all these happy people (minus the toad sage) were pleased that their A-ranked diplomatic mission was a complete failure, but there they were. Not only were they pleased, the Hokage was giving them the long weekend off to "collect themselves" before resuming normal duties the following Monday.

It was beyond bizarre.

"Job well done, Team Ten."

Shika started his standard grumbling response only to get cut off by the perturbed female sandwiched between the two Genin males.

"How is failing this mission a good thing?" she blurted out before adding the belated, "Hokage-sama."

"Oh, the mission isn't a failure yet. We need to convince Naruto to marry the Nadeshiko Princess," his hand gently indicated the smiling woman lounging behind them acknowledging his comment with a short head nod, "and everything will be just fine. You can claim your mission success and have a spotless record once again." The Hokage mischievous smirk caught everyone off-guard.

"Not gonna happen." Naruto was standing there with his arms crossed and his head rocking from side to side. Given that she was reclining behind him, Naruto (and his team) missed her confident smirk.

"I'm afraid, with Jiraiya as your lawfully-appointed guardian, the deal is done Naruto. He has the authority to enter into negotiations on your behalf." The smug Sannin huffed in the safety of his corner given that both Anko and Ino threatened to "cut off his boys" if he got too close to either of them.

"Well then," the angry blond chirped back, "I suppose I'll just have to fire his ass." This time Jiraiya scoffed loudly from his isolation.

"Tough Gaki, you're stuck with me until you turn sixteen which means you're stuck with that gorgeous side of Kunoichi." Every kunoichi inside the office cut Jiraiya a withering glare but he allowed it to roll right past him. "Trust me when I say you'll thank me on your wedding night."

Anko had to actually grab Ino around the waist to keep her from leaping at him; Hokage-sama threatened to toss them out if they didn't stop trying to stab the smarmy bastard fifteen minutes before and she couldn't afford not to stay near him given the emergency Council meeting about to happen.

"Actually," Jiraiya's smile began to falter as his godson slammed a large journal onto the Hokage's desk, "you've given me the perfect reason to fire your carcass sooner rather than later." Unsealing several large scrolls, he sifted through them until he found the one he wanted, a particularly thick one carried inside an ivory hardcase trimmed in gold.

"This," he started off holding up the large document, "is an original copy of the Uzushiogakure Charter of Regents signed, and sealed, by Mito Uzumaki." Hiruzen's eyes began to grow in happy anticipation as the Genin continued.

"My mother was kind enough to seal this away when she was evacuated from Uzu in preparation of the invasion that wiped out my clan." His eyes roved over the engraved seals and symbols along the pristine case. "It's very interesting to read actually, the history of my clan and the laws that governed them." His eyes wandered from the scroll as big around as his midsection.

"The first four artifacts of the document deal with establishing of the nation, the clan, the Royal Family – my family, and protection of the royal line. Care to guess what it states about that last bit?" Tokiwa shot a worried glance to her mistress at this point noting the now seriousness on Shizuka's face.

Jiraiya's face paled. "Now wait a minute Gaki-."

Naruto interrupted and overrode him. "IT STATES, that, in the event of the royal bloodline dwindling to a single male or female heir, NO ACTION shall be undertaken that shall certify the extinction of said bloodline. It further states that every action, to include emancipation of the surviving heir from, and I quote, 'the oppressive yolk of corrupted or less than honorable personages' to include but not limited to seeking temporary asylum under competent guardianship through all means necessary." The blond turned to face his absentee godfather who was beginning to sweat a little.

"Since the Uzumaki Elders were very diligent in documenting their previous five attempts to merge our clan with Nadeshiko kunoichi and the subsequent results of those efforts," he paused to dramatically bow to the Princess, "they have a special addendum in this charter specifically prohibiting the union of the last male Uzu heir with any Nadeshiko woman," his eyes swung over to lock with Shizuka's, "regardless of station or debt, displacing the union to the next available male heir beyond the reigning prince. This means I need to have at least two sons before any Uzu male would be allowed to marry Princess Shizuka."

Shizuka's eyes ballooned right before they flickered to the sealed scroll with worry written all over her face.

"Maybe-maybe Shizuka-ch-, er, dono," his eyes nervously darted to the placid woman and bodyguard as their neutral gazes gradually became certifiably hostile, "…would consider…" his statement ended abruptly as he leaned backward ninety-degrees to dodge the teacup sailing out of the balcony window.

"The Nadeshiko do not play well with others," Naruto calmly countered. "Marriage to her," he indicated the again scowling princess with an open palm, "is a one-time, solitary affair. Don't push your perverted views on either of us please." He had no idea that the strong-willed heiress was reconsidering her hard-won beliefs at the moment.

Dragon's head swiveled at the same time Hiruzen's head did, both in the direction of the now sputtering Jiraiya.

"If-If you do this, the Council will force you into the CRA! Do you want to be tied down with their harpy spawn!?" Naruto noted the concern in the older man's voice but shrugged it away with a sage nod.

"If I was to remain your ward, then the Konohan CRA remains an option." He jabbed a finger in the hermit's direction as he spit out his next statement. "HOWEVER, freed from your guardianship, I am once again the reigning Prince of Uzushiogakure and no longer subject to your village's laws."

Hiruzen wanted to smile but they needed to cross the finish line before he'd let anyone celebrate.

"Naruto," he started as the boy's head whipped around, "be very careful with that statement. If you invoke the Uzu-Kono treaty protections, that means that you forfeit your rights to your father's lands as well as your hard-won title as a Konoha ninja." His gaze bore into the stern face and clenched jaw of the boy he loved as much as his blood kin. "Are you aware of what this will mean?"

Naruto nodded grimly.

"It means I'll be in limbo until I turn sixteen. I'll no longer be a part of Team Ten until I can legally accept the crown at the age of sixteen, which means I become the Uzu Ambassador with full access to our clan's property, accounts, and privileges. On the plus side, I can't be forced to marry someone I don't want. On the downside, I will either have to live in the Uzumaki Compound or leave Konoha or, if I want to stay, forbear my clan home in Uzu and establish a clan here in the village." The Hokage nodded very slowly.

The Yondaime's home was built on a small section of the land gifted to the Uzushiogakure delegation and, as such, remained a political asylum for any surviving members of the Namikaze family; absent a surviving Namikaze, the intent was to allow Uzumaki clan members to make use of the property even though they could not own it. This created an unusual situation where, if Naruto refused to re-establish the Namikaze Clan, he could possibly lose any and all claim to the property itself despite his clan owning all of the land it sat upon despite it being his inheritance. However, since the property was built on Uzushiogakure territory, Konoha could not (legally) enter the property to reclaim it without inciting an international incident. Best they could do would be to seal the property and deny him access, something the Council would readily do to spite the boy.

"That does cover the wide range of options," the old man admitted.

"I will never turn my back on the Uzumaki, but I also have until I turn sixteen to make that decision and I can't legally marry Shizuka until we're both of age so there is time to discuss other options." His eyes softened as he turned to meet her flustered gaze. "She's older than me by four months but that means squat at this point."

"Honorable though that may be," the old man interrupted, "the Council has been briefed on the status of the mission and will be convening tonight to discuss options." His eyes took in all of Team Ten. "You'll all be required to appear and answer questions."

Not even Shikamaru's trademark response could alleviate the discomfort Naruto felt. He was going to have to face his biggest nemesis.

Hiruzen's gaze swung to the lovely princess and her chaperone. "Unfortunately, Shizuka-dono, you will not be permitted to attend but I've made arrangements for you in our diplomatic center. Feel free to explore Konoha at your leisure."

The green-eyed beauty smiled pleasantly and nodded her head at the offer. She did have some small business to attend to and the meeting she had in mind would give her ample opportunity to gain valuable information.

~III~

Shizuka found Konoha's climate a touch warmer than Nadeshiko, making her travel cloak's natural protection from lustful gazes a touch inconvenient as they strolled through the bustling streets of the well-maintained village. She could feel the sweat trickling down her throat and into the deep valley of her cleavage, a sensation she despised unless it came from strenuous physical exertion. Despite her unease, she returned the respectful smiles and bows with appropriate nods, her measured steps carried her unerringly to the small ramen stand buried deep in the heart of the hidden village.

Stepping under the eaves (and away from the openly gaping males behind her in the street), Shizuka gracefully slid into an open spot in front of the counter and smiled at the stunned expression of its two hard-working employees. Her eyes immediately settled on the brown-haired girl behind the counter noticing the unmoving portion of the girl's upper body indicating uncommonly tight chest wrappings just beyond view.

"Sh-Sh-Shizuka-dono!" Ayame gasped as her body seized up, her head dipping into a deep nod behind the counter as she was unsure if she should bow, grovel, or remain motionless so as to not ruin her hard-won cover of twelve years.

The last person she expected to see was the heir to the woman that saved her life.

"I see you learned your lessons well, Ayame-chan," Tokiwa purred out only to acquiesce to Shizuka's raised palm.

"We can reminisce later. Teuchi-san," she noted Teuchi's unflinching glare but shrugged it off, "Ayame-chan. For now, I require your help studying a particular shinobi of this village." Ayame's head snapped up from the floor, her eyes alert and focused.

"We owe you nothing," the man's hard tone was unflinching and filled with bitterness, a tone Ayame had heard few times in her life. It made her uneasy given the two powerful women sitting across from them.

Ayame's gaze darted to the tree-like woman standing just behind the young princess and her breath caught hoping her father's tone would not overly offend. The tree-like woman did not disappoint as she stepped forward with one calloused palm gripping the pommel of her two-handed weapon hard enough to make the leather wrappings groan in protest.

Teuchi remained unphased.

Shizuka, even with her stern gaze taking in the older man's set jaw, merely lifted a hand to forestall her irritated protector.

"We cannot strike down another village's citizen in cold blood, Tokiwa, for multiple reasons but especially not when he is within his rights not to support us. Ichiraku-san is due his hatred." The Amazonian woman with the enormous chest hissed angrily before she released her grip on the blade, but it seemed a hard loss to take.

"If you are not here to eat, please leave. You are occupying valuable real estate." Shizuka lowered her open hand and pointed to the vegetable ramen.

"I'll have one of those please."

Despite the angry _tsk_ from his mouth, Teuchi nodded once then looked up to the furious grimace trying to set fire to his face from the far side of his countertop.

"The same."

Without further conversation, he turned and stomped over to the tools of his trade. Ayame stayed and, once she was sure her father was busy, dipped a quick bow in apology only to have it easily waved aside.

"We are at a good place to come into contact with many of Konoha's open shinobi population. Perhaps we have the ready information you require?" Ayame seemed to be really focused on a small patch of the immaculately-clean counter, her rag swirling as it made squeaky sounds.

Shizuka leaned forward predatorily.

"Oh, I'm certain you do," the younger girl grinned back.

"We will not endanger the good folk of this village. We have to live here long after you abandon us again." Ayame glanced over her shoulder and tried to both soothe her father and maintain the peace hoping he could set aside his grudge with the Nadeshiko. They were her people after all.

"I wouldn't ask you to, Tomohiro Ichiraku." The older man bristled but his eyes darted about briefly to make sure no one nearby could hear their conversation. "No, I just wish to better understand my future husband."

Both proprietors gasped at the implications of her statement but Teuchi's comment brought a bitter chuckle out of the heiress.

"Poor bastard, whoever he is." Ayame tried to keep him far enough way by delivering their bowls so that she could finish the conversation and send the two kunoichis on their way peacefully.

"W-Who is the soon to be lucky shinobi?" Ayame knew the traditions even if she'd never get the chance to take part in them. She winced briefly at the uncomfortably tight bindings keeping her figure contained to a respectable C-cup, as painful as the daily process was, before snapping back to the conversation and Shizuka's far from friendly looking smile.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

Ayame's heart nearly stopped as her world began to implode. _'Nooo!'_

~III~

By the time Naruto's automatic trip to the slums reminded him that the gutted-out square hole in the ground no longer supported his derelict apartment and he'd returned to his new swank bachelor pad, he was down to a little over forty minutes to shower and prepare for the emergency Council session. Sending a clone to prepare a quick snack of teriyaki chicken and steamed rice, he scrubbed the trip's grime away, donned a snazzy royal blue kimono and scarlet-trimmed haori with Uzu swirls, inhaled his light lunch, then took a leisurely stroll back to the meeting chambers as he gathered his thoughts.

The fact that his new place was centrally located simplified a great many things.

As he waited outside the meeting chamber, he was eventually joined by Shikamaru with no sign of Ino in sight. He nodded to his colleague even as he nervously chewed his lip and considered his options.

"Any sign of her?" the pineapple-haired boy asked unaware how long Naruto had been waiting. Naruto's distracted shake of the head provided his answer.

The two sat quietly on the hallway bench as time ticked quietly by.

Before too long (thirty minutes is nothing for a Council meeting in Konoha), the double doors opened and a statuesque ANBU wearing a crane's mask waived them inside. Uncertain nerves turned to quiet confusion as both youths spied their teammate already standing in the center of the floor surrounded by the U-shaped Council table, the Hokage already seated at the head with Dragon and Anko standing calmly behind his right shoulder, Jiraiya standing behind his left.

Those three near the Hokage did not shock the boys. It was Ino standing in a glorious purple kimono with lilac and gold tulips trimmed in ivory that caught them off-guard, her hair done up in a neat bun held together with lacquered ebony and jade encrusted chopsticks barring the strategically-placed ringlets framing the right side of her unobstructed face.

She was stunning judging by the open gaping Naruto was engaged in.

Ino blushed but thanked him, her soft voice barely a whisper. Inoichi, his wife Sumiko standing directly behind him, smiled warmly knowing that was exactly the reaction his daughter was striving for.

Once Naruto's brain rebooted, he shook his eyes loose and took his place on her right side as Shikamaru took the leader's spot on the left. He noticed the chuckling glances from the shinobi members of the Council and the jealous stares of the civilian side, both sides attended by the significant others whenever a similarly-dressed girl close to Naruto's age was standing near their parent.

Naruto's quick eye also noted a missing Hinata Hyuuga, his face collapsing into a determined grimace as his eyes locked with the impassive (and openly bored) stare of that clan's patriarch.

The Hokage rapped a gavel near his seat and brought the proceeding to order with a question to that same patriarch.

"Hiashi, may I ask why you refused to bring your daughter to this meeting?"

The stoic vision of Hyuuga-ness sat taller, if that would be possible with three feet of steel rod already shoved up his spine, and turned to answer his Hokage.

"Hokage-sama, my daughter is already promised in a political marriage to the third cousin of Shijimi-dono, the Daimyo of the Land of Fire. As Hanabi is far too young for these proceedings, the Hyuuga have no eligible women of the main branch to offer for… whatever this is."

Several reactions flashed across Naruto's face, but he clamped down on them as quickly as he could replacing his outward rage with blank impassivity (not quickly enough, however, to be noticed by his teammates, the Hokage, and everyone else in the chamber adept at reading people). He would have to sort through his disgust at the Hyuuga Clan later.

A retelling of their mission to Nadeshiko with a straight face was the hardest thing he'd ever done. If it weren't for Shikamaru answering the majority of the questions, excepting those posed specifically to him, he might have given up and walked out which would have created its own set of hateful problems. Instead, he stared at the carpet before his feet and numbly listened to the increasingly heated arguments centering around his stubborn refusal to ratify the pending treaty with a powerful potential ally.

"Uzumaki," he glanced up annoyed at the lack of common decency from the fat textiles guild member, "does your ego know no bounds?" Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Get to the point or yield the floor, Sugimoto-san." The Hokage's reprimand wiped the vile man's smirk from his face as he partially groveled in his over-plump chair.

"Of course, Hokage-sama." He turned his beady eyes back to the blond Genin. "What gives you the right to invalidate a lawful treaty from the Hokage, your acknowledged leader, and commander in chief, with a potential ally that could greatly benefit Konoha? You're a nobody! An orphan who should be grateful to be of service to your village!" His sweating face was doing its best to project outrage and affront, but Naruto huffed dismissively before standing tall and turning to face the aggrieved Councilor.

"Who am I?"

"I believe that was my question, _Uzumaki_." He was gloating safe in his perceived social superiority even as Naruto strode several paces before his team much to the stationed ANBU's unease.

"I think, no… I know that I am the son of Kushina Uzumaki, the sole surviving clan member of Clan Uzumaki, the sole surviving male heir to the Uzushiogakure Royal Family." The silence lasted all of twenty seconds or so, the shinobi side of the chamber flabbergasted by the short-fused reveal, while the civilian side erupted into outraged revolt demanding his immediate execution for impersonating a noble.

It took several seconds of Hiruzen pounding his poor gavel and a focused blast of _KI_ to silence the angry business collective before order could be restored. The previously-identified Sugimoto-san took the opportunity to vent the collective guild-driven outrage at the clearly delusional (and undesirable) orphan.

"Clearly he's suffered from some delusional stroke as a result of his last mission, Hokage-sama," the man's chuckling did little to hide is snide and condescending tone. His close allies on the Council, several influential men and women, piled on.

"The outrage! Imprison him and confiscate his meager belongings as penalties for his hubris!"

"Stripe him in the village square!"

"Kill the de-, kill the liar! It is a crime to impersonate nobility!"

Hiruzen sighed as he struck the gavel yet again forcing the angry outbursts to die out slowly. Through it all, Naruto's unruffled appearance only made the shinobi council members increasingly uneasy. If this was Kushina's spawn, they'd all been horribly guilty of abandoning him to the cruelty of a jaded and petty civilian populace. They'd all watched him suffer at one point or another, both publicly and privately, and done little to nothing of note to assist him, a grievous injustice to their dearly beloved comrade from the Land of Whirlpools.

Hiashi suddenly became ill almost to the point of physical discomfort thinking back to recent political decisions in his clan. _'Hinata!'_

"I was afraid of this reaction from such a close-minded group hence…," Hiruzen flicked a weathered hand and two kunoichis from his administrative staff began distributing copies of a single page, "I prepared extra copies of young Naruto's birth certificate." Several of the shinobi council paled first only to grow noticeably enraged at what they saw, or more importantly what they couldn't see.

"And before you inquire, the identify of young Naruto's father will remain a secret until he reaches the grade of Jounin. Do not ask unless you're willing to offer your life in exchange for the SS-ranked secret the man's identity entails."

Everyone gasped in shock. The Crimson Death was a powerful kunoichi bested, at best, only by Tsunade of the Sannin but to have a father rating such security? Once that shock passed, many began to turn angry faces, from both sides of the room towards the village leader.

"We don't understand, Hokage-sama," Chouza began. "Kushina-dono was close to many of us yet we were led to believe that she bequeathed her clan's name to a nameless orphan as a token of kindness." His face was pained as he looked up from the tiny page shaking in his enormous hands. "Why?"

It was a simple question, but simple questions were often the hardest to answer directly. So Hiruzen posed a counter question.

"Tell me, Chouza. Are you familiar with our young Uchiha survivor?" The large man began to nod and, as his head rolled the named youth over in his mind, he took complete stock of Sasuke's reputation and upbringing and the lights turned on with the brief goggling of his eyes.

Sasuke's reputation as a spoiled socialite was well known among both the civilian and shinobi members of the Council. Among shinobi circles the boy was infamous. Whereas the civilians reveled in their handiwork thinking it made the rotten heir beholden to them and dependent upon their continued kindness, the shinobi side was increasingly mistrusting of the youth often refusing to have anything to do with or support him. A spoiled shinobi was often a treacherous shinobi and treacherous brats didn't hesitate to sacrifice others so long as they got what they wanted.

A child of Kushina Uzumaki would have grown up with their every whim provided on a silver platter, most likely leading to the same pampered result, but that didn't excuse the boy's widely-known and horrific treatment from the civilian populace. Furthermore, a few of the shinobi councilmembers knew Kushina in more than passing and were well aware of the man she lavished her affections on. No less than three pairs of eyes snapped to the calmly standing Genin drawing new conclusions concerning the identity of the boy's patronage, their angry stares slowly turning to their once beloved leader only to see the slight shaking of his head warning against sharing their deductions.

Those three pairs of eyes were attached to silently cursing mouths and, in one striking case, the now tearful eyes and trembling shoulders of one Tsume Inuzuka. Behind her stood her now shocked daughter as she tried to ponder what could make her phenomenally strong-willed mother shed tears, her eyes taking in the handsome blond standing strong and unafraid in the middle of a chamber full of enemies even as she fidgeted in her constraining wine-colored kimono painted with dancing ninken.

When Chouza spoke no more, Hiruzen continued.

"As the sole-surviving male heir of the Uzushio Royal Family," Hiruzen noted the once angry faces of the civilians turning to greedy and lecherous glares directed to the now disgusted Naruto Uzumaki, "Naruto cannot marry the Nadeshiko heiress without sacrificing his family line. This means that we will require another solution with the nation of kunoichi or risk losing this hard-won treaty."

The greedy (and vindictive) civilians jumped at the opportunity. "We can surely make other arrangements." They were already dismissing the village's claim on the boy. "But we require absolute proof of his familial ties. Documents," the conniving banking rep was eyeing the angry Genin as if he were a fresh gold mine on legs, "can be forged."

Hiruzen nodded before turning to meet Anko's angry gaze. With a loud "Tsk!" she leaned over and opened the chamber door allowing entry of a silver-haired med nin with circular glasses, the boy's hunched shoulders bobbing as he bowed his way into the chamber.

"Please take a blood sample from Genin Uzumaki and compare it to the reference I asked in advance for you to bring." With the fingers of his right hand gently pushing up on the large lenses adorning his face, the slim youth went about his task with precision and efficiency chuckling to himself how pleased this discovery would make a certain snake-inclined master of his.

Unfortunately for the distracted Uzu heir, a good med nin with sufficient control could narrow down enough similarities in blood samples to identify clan relationships with an accuracy between sixty to eighty percent on little or no notice. Anything more precise required expensive machinery that did not lend itself to easy portability. Fortunately, Kabuto's reputation among the Council, and the skill of his father as the head of surgery at Konoha General, lent sufficient credence when he claimed an eighty-four percent certainty that Naruto Uzumaki was in fact a bonafide member of the Uzumaki clan, his blood sample containing enough markers to assure his status as an actual clan heir of the royal line.

Only _Dragon_ caught his malicious smirk, brief though it was, as the shady medic slid out once the Hokage released him, her protective inclinations filing it away for later consideration. She also took note of the bespectacled boy's failed attempt to retain the drawn blood sample before an alert Ino called out forcing an ANBU agent to relieve him of it, a dark tint crossing his eyes before melting away into meek obscurity.

The room remained tombstone silent for several minutes long after the med nin departed, an irate mother becoming the first to speak as tensions began to rise once again.

"That explains why you had us bring our eligible daughters to the meeting to address successorship of," the councilwoman's hands came up in air quotes, "of a _powerful legacy clan_ closely tied to Konoha," Mebuki Haruno bit off trying to come to grips with the bevy of startling news she'd heard so far.

Naruto noticed for the first time a stunned and well-dressed Sakura Haruno standing behind her mother (and next to her scowling father) in a taupe kimono shrouded in falling sakura petals of ivory and pink. Perhaps she felt this was her chance at Sasuke? It was readily clear to Naruto that her father would fight to prevent his daughter from coming anywhere near the demon child of Konoha, an attitude the rabid Uchiha fan girl apparently shared even if she was unaware of his status as the Kyuubi vessel.

Naruto took the time to sweep the room and noticed another fifteen prim and proper future brides, most of them civilian and the majority of those disgusted at the idea of being paired with anyone not from Clan Uchiha.

"This meeting was to provide an update on the ambassadorial mission as well as provide a timeline should young Naruto chose to remain a Konoha shinobi, which would place him under the CRA." Several scheming eyes lit up at the thought of gaining control over Uzumaki resources, some even whispering the Consortium's name much to Naruto's open revulsion.

"No decisions will be made tonight, however, if the Uzumaki Clan is re-established in Konoha, young Naruto must declare so upon his sixteenth birthday and must take a minimum of three brides by his eighteenth. If not, then the Council will appoint suitable wives to continue the Uzumaki name and restore the clan to its former glory." The Hokage's sad eyes silently apologized to the shaking youth even as he spoke the traitorous words aloud, concluding the meeting as greedy civilians rose and bowed to the boy they cursed and belittled not twenty minutes prior.

"The clans have until November the ninth to provide names of eligible young ladies they wish to proffer for the Uzumaki Clan CRA initiative."

The Uzumaki Lottery was effectively underway with the bewildered blond, plus his entire clan estate, being the grand (and sole) prize.

Ino shed tears openly. She wept as she stepped forward and clutched Naruto's trembling fist shocking the boy out of his focused rage, his eyes finding her soft apology as she stepped forward and kissed his cheek (much to the outrage of civilians feeling she carried an unfair advantage while shoving their own daughters forward) whispering over and over again how sorry she was for his pain.

He quietly thanked her before releasing her hand. Leaning forward and quietly touching his forehead to hers, Naruto stepped away from her vanishing in a torrential burst of wind that produced sycophantic approval from the greedy civilians professing awe of his powerful display. A few even began to campaign on his behalf remembering the boy's earlier vows to become Hokage one day.

Standing against the wall behind the Hokage, three powerful shinobi resisted the urge to lay waste to the entire civilian Council. Anko wept silently even as her teeth ground painfully together.

Beneath her mask, Keina Uzumaki cursed everyone and everything in the village, her tears hidden from everyone around her, as she flickered away appearing inside the once abandoned home of her deceased sister and brother-in-law. There she tore the ANBU mask from her face, collapsed to the floor, then vented her tears free from the greedy people and cowardly shinobi she'd sworn to protect in the name of her beloved nephew.

~III~

The aftereffects of Naruto's maternal lineage created very few rippling changes to his quality of life where it actually mattered, much to the relieved sigh of the Sandaime.

Among the shinobi who were already beginning to recognize him as a competent soldier (the only kind that mattered), it proved to nudge a small percentage closer to respecting the boy. With an exponentially greater understanding of rudimentary sealing arts, enough were able to recognize the burden he carried thereby neither developing a worse nor better opinion of the boy himself. Respect for his powerful mother, however, filtered downwards earning him both a modicum of increased respect for his lineage while simultaneously increasing expectations of his performance to ridiculous levels because of his mother's reputation; it was a horrific double-edged sword.

Given that the shinobi apartment complex he resided in maintained its own well-stocked grocer, his home quality of life did not change notably. Life was better to be sure, however, the comfortable cushion of his environment eliminated the need to interact with the now patronizing merchant populace (beyond his dealings with the A.S.C. or Higurashi's shop).

As his current residence was immediately classified as an S-ranked secret following the attack that demolitioned his old residence, it resulted in a flood of invitations to the office of the Hokage asking for the boy's company during every prestigious party, celebration, or ceremony from civilians self-inflating their personal worth hoping to earn his favoritism.

Hiruzen took great pleasure in having _Neko_ set fire to them on the roof of his office building.

Kakashi immediately reignited his claim to the Uzumaki heir citing his responsibility as the surviving student of the boy's father (he was close enough to know about Kushina's personal life with his sensei). Hiruzen was not amused stating that having both the Uchiha and Uzumaki heirs would grossly overpower his team. The Copy Nin was categorically denied but vowed on his prized _Golden Edition Icha Icha_ author-signed and serialized collection to never give up in his quest.

The Hyuuga, learning the truth of the demon brat's Uzumaki heritage and mortified in their hateful act of pairing the former heiress up with a sub-standard relative of the Court, immediately tried to renegotiate the arrangement. Missives flew to the capital hand delivered by the most polished Hyuuga negotiators only to return rebuffed and unopened. Apparently the obese and pimply-faced cousin found Hinata's calm demeanor and well-developed curves enticing and he refused to be parted from his future bride knowing she'd become a ravishing beauty in the two years before coming of marrying age. The filthy twenty-three-year-old was beside himself with desire at the possibility of a beautiful, and submissive, kunoichi bride and refused the offer of two branch member females in her place. The entire clan hierarchy was beside themselves in their folly knowing they had little chance of winning the boy's eyes with a substitute or the entirely too-young Hanabi.

Their neglect of the weaker daughter and petty scheming backfired with tragic consequences; knowing full well of her affections for the boy, the elders assumed (beneath the surface) that selling her off to the court would cause the girl pain and wound the demon child in the process. In hindsight, they'd bartered away the winning hand that would have handed them the entire Uzumaki empire on a silver platter, a bitter pill to swallow indeed.

Hinata never smiled more, despite her miserable fate, as she did whenever she saw the moping elders since they couldn't brand her until her sixteenth birthday (in case something happened to Hanabi).

The remaining shinobi clans, being better versed in subterfuge than the civilian population, tried to gradually increase their exposure with Naruto through carefully choreographed "near misses" and increased social passes. This meant making the effort to greet the boy in passing (but not lingering or pestering him). Whenever possible, they (or their clan members) casually inquired about his health or "talked shop" at the mission office. Kunoichi were "gently encourage" to smile at the Genin while male heirs (with eligible sisters) invited him over to train or share a meal without hounding him for a hurried response.

For the social exile, it was as blatant as turning on a neon sign in the Entertainment District and it turned his stomach.

~III~

Five o'clock Friday morning found a somber Naruto at his personal training ground in the slums, his arms wrapped around a sniffling Ino Yamanaka as she apologized over and over again for the horror that was their now partially-failed/ on-hold A-ranked ambassadorial mission debrief. Despite enjoying the pleasant sensation of her body pressed against his own (Naruto loved hugs especially since he rarely got them and no, Hokage-jiji did not count), he stopped stroking her back and pulled away so they could begin their morning workout.

Ino began chatting on their fourth lap around Konoha proper.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. Naruto nearly stumbled in confusion and shock.

"Sorry for what?" His head cranked over to stare at her sweaty profile.

"For pushing you away when I had the chance to keep you," came the soft reply. He suspiciously wondered if the majority of her red face had nothing to do with their easy pace. "…and now some foreign floozy is claiming you." His head swiveled back to the front.

"You couldn't have known this would happen." It was several minutes before she spoke again.

"Is it really such a horrible idea to stay here… in Konoha… with me?" He almost didn't hear her final words as her voice continued to get softer requiring him to focus on her voice even as the words registered in his head.

He stopped running forcing her to stop after a few steps and turn around to face him.

"What are you saying, Ino?" He seemed irritated. "I thought you wanted _'space'…_ I thought you wanted distance to _'think?'_ " His tone made her uncomfortable, but he was sick of the light-footing around it all. With all the recent attention coming in his direction, Naruto had nearly reached his limit with the wealth of concern on his behalf.

"…"

"Am I wrong here?" He was standing very close now, arms held out to the side like an invisible cross held them up, and the urge deep inside Ino to grab him was swelling by the minute.

"…"

"Nothing? You've got nothing to say about that?" Her raging blush displayed her shame and stoked his frustration. "When you figure out what you want from me, do let me know." Instead of moving to continue their run, he turned around to stalk home.

Her head snapped up and she lunged, her arms wrapping around his upper body as she clutched his back to her chest in desperation. At a minimum, it brought the steaming Genin to a staggering halt as her feet dug in to the cobblestoned street.

All of the moisture in Naruto's mouth evaporated leaving so much dust behind. The moment her hands clutched his shirt, the moment her overheated chest smashed against his back, all of the frustration and anger shriveled up and drifted away. He stood there braindead, his eyes blinking into the dark early morning hours of Konoha's infantile winter listening to the most confusing, intelligent, pig-headed (he'd never admit that aloud), beautiful, and domineering kunoichi he knew sniffling into his shoulder blades.

Now just how was he supposed to combat this? He was pretty sure this fell under dirty warfare in some shinobi code somewhere…

~III~

Silence. Darkness. Even the alarm clock next to the dilapidated bed made no sound it being a prototypical shinobi clock with electric leads running to a plain metal band. As she glided silently through the stillness of the tiny apartment, Shizuka was both enchanted and revolted but its Spartan simplicity.

Finding directions from Ayame was simple. Gaining entry was not as simple given the boy's rudimentary facility with seals but he appeared to be self-taught (judging by the healthy collection of books with notes in the margins). She quickly realized that it would not be as easy next time around. For now, her joy from the opportunity to get inside his thought processes was waging war with the monk-like living conditions of his apartment despite the upscale location.

With their chakra suppressed to almost civilian levels, the two Nadeshiko kunoichi padded through the pre-furnished apartment noting the scattering of books, the lightly stocked kitchen, and the handful of clothes hanging in the bedroom closet. If not for the standard issue Genin squad photo depicting a fairly pretty kunoichi sporting a tantalizing purple outfit and flowing platinum locks, a lazy-eyed male with pineapple-shaped hair standing to her right, their bearded sensei vice the white-haired pervert (she was secretly pleased by that and disgusted by his slime-ball beard trim) standing behind them, and her taciturn looking future husband standing to her left and glowering off to the side.

The secret compartment in the upper closet was predictable.

The blood seal storage scroll, which she noted was much more advanced than his security seals, on the back of his night stand was expected.

The zombie-like stare of her future mate in the aforementioned photo, however, stung her heart. Pain. Emptiness. There was no light in his eyes, no joy, nothing like the emotion and expressiveness she'd seen during their clash in Nadeshiko. His body language was aloof, detached. Of the four, his shoulders were turned outward and away from his squad, his eyes focused and scowling at something out of frame.

"My Lady, it's time."

Shizuka's head twitched in the direction of her guardian but her eyes never left the photo, her fingers lightly tracing the outline of his face and body. On impulse, she lifted the picture to her lips and tenderly kissed his face before replacing it in the exact same spot she gleaned it from.

Even as she turned away with a final lingering gaze, Shizuka of the Nadeshiko vowed that he would be hers even if she had to share him with one lucky concubine. Oh yes, he would be hers.

~III~

"Damn you, Uzumaki!" Although her voice was muffled through the back of his shirt, she was yelling loud enough from him to understand her. Somewhere down the street, a cranky citizen yelled for them to _shut up and get a room_. "Are you going to force me to say it out loud?!"

His silence answered for him so the frantic kunoichi stopped grasping at straws and dove in head first.

"A girl wants to be wanted, to be desired." Naruto gawked and sputtered but a soft slap on the stomach silenced him so she could continue.

"Don't give me that 'but Ino you're so independent' routine. _Every_ girl, sooner or later, wants to feel like that special someone for the one they love." She laid the side of her head against his shoulder blade and sighed heavily.

"You're a great guy and I can see that you care for me. I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in the way you look after me but, for whatever reason, you won't go any further than that." Seeing that he hadn't moved or responded, she kept going.

"I start to get close and you pull away and it's frustrating." Her hands clutched his tee shirt a bit tighter. "And I got tired of chasing after you. For once, I wanted you to chase after me." Her right hand unclenched and began rubbing his chest while her words poured out.

"Sometimes it's all about the chase, Naruto. Sometimes the girl wants the guy to fight for her love, to make her feel desirable." He wasn't trying to flee anymore so both her hands were flat against his body and shaking uncontrollably. For his part, Naruto simply stood there as her words continued to hammer away at his brain.

"So, the question now Naruto is, 'Do you desire me or am I wasting my time chasing a ghost?'"

One minute she was pressed flat against his back and the next he was spinning in her arms until her face was buried in his chest.

"You can't tell a guy you need space then hold it against him when he doesn't chase you down," his voice sounding almost petulant. "That's not even close to fair!"

Ino chuckled but squeezed his body enjoying the warmth. "Of course, I can. I'm a girl." It was stated so matter of fact, Naruto's counter argument sputtered and died on his lips. "And now you get to make it up to me!"

Naruto cringed. "Ummm… and just how am I supposed to do that?" He had one hand up behind his neck while the other hovered just off to the side unsure if it was safe to actually touch her.

"Dinner, movie, then dancing!" Ino's grin nearly swallowed her whole face. She had him. She was absolutely certain she had him this time. _'Take THAT Princess Shizuka!'_

~III~

Tired eyes scanned the document one final time, the weathered scroll wrinkled and speckled with what appeared to be dried blood. Swiping his fingers across tired eyes, he focused long enough to read through one last time even as the index finger of his left hand sparked a tiny flame to life atop the single candle resting near his elbow.

" _It appears we will have to adjust our plans one final time as our reception was not met with expected familiarity. It appears my host was more interested in canceling my reservation permanently over salutation._

" _I cannot stress the importance of preparedness when you face him in the coming months and, rest assured old friend, you will face him; Rasa is not nearly as spry as he once was. Can you take the necessary steps this time and end it once and for all? I would like to think my sacrifice, and the sacrifices of my shinobi, were not wasted only for your soft-hearted sentimentality to attempt another reconciliation._

" _The grass parts with the great wind, their drums shaking the earth as the wave closes in on the peaceful walls of our home._

" _I pray you are man enough to do what needs to be done._

" _May the great tree shelter us all."_

 _-S._

With one final read to burn the words into his brain, Hiruzen burned the scroll until nothing but ashes remained as the sun began its morning trek across the Konoha horizon.

~III~

Ino was a nervous wreck for the rest of Friday and most of Saturday. Preparation for her glorious night began the moment she'd showered, changed into her street clothes, inhaled her breakfast, then scampered out the door to collect her part-time frenemy Sakura.

Given her proven disinterest in all things Uchiha-related, the pinkette was willing to partially bury the hatchet and fan the meager flames of friendship. Ino discovered a few weeks in that friendship still came with its issues and Sakura's refusal to see any good in a certain Uzumaki Genin was still plenty rife for bouts of conflict.

Ino could stomach most of Sakura's mindless jabber about how great her _Sasuke-_ kun was but she made it very clear that bad mouthing her blond beau was as equally off-limits as trash-talking the broody bastard from the brunette clan of one.

It was enough to keep the peace but today was a day for shopping and shopping well-done required a plus-one.

Now she stood freshly showered and powdered glancing critically at her own profile, her normally flowing waves of platinum braided tightly into a thick cord as she double-checked her mother's work. Happy with the single curl in the middle of her forward, her smile brought a happy gleam to both baby blues, her mind once again wistfully saddened they weren't something more exotic. Oh well, the rest of her more than made up for it.

Leaning in to recheck her face, Ino was pleased that her old practice of spending almost an hour dolling up her face with makeup was very much a thing of the past. It had to be her _Falna_ blessing from Hestia-sama as her skin was almost flawless needing little more than eye work to bring out her expressive orbs. The best part was that it didn't stop there.

Her hair all but glowed, thick and lustrous like pale sunlight. Tonight, however, she needed it out of the way so she could fully enjoy her time on the dance floor with Naruto-kun. She bounced excitedly, her hands clenched into tiny fists in front of her still growing chest, the heavy bouncing forcing her to calm down and clamp her palms to her full breasts to keep them in place. Checking the hold of her strapless bra, she grimaced hoping the chakra anchors would be enough to keep everything in place.

She was getting tired of replacing her entire bra collection every six to eight weeks even if it has only happened twice now. With a final pat to her blossoming hardware, her eyes resumed their wandering.

The dress was shoulderless but had flowing sleeves that flared slightly at the wrists. There was just enough fabric to keep them attached to the dress body as the back dipped halfway down to her shapely rear. She was glad that the outfit came with a matching short jacket since Konoha's winter nights cooled just shy of uncomfortable.

Her eyes continued their downward inspection taking in the velvety fabric of her skin-tight dress. The high neck fit like a wide choker covering her throat and highlighting the silver necklace dangling a heart-shaped locket into the deep cleavage peeking out from the oval cutout in the front of her garment. While she preferred deeper hues of purple, blues, burgundies, and blacks, Sakura was spot on when she found this on the mannequin.

It clung viciously to every curve but felt like silk, stretching and breathing as it highlighted her now low D-cup chest and heart-shaped rear. Showing off her now taut tummy after Naruto's grueling workouts and nicely shaped legs sporting almost the right amount of muscle and curve (the sinfully tight dress stopped halfway down her thighs where a removable frill carried on to a few inches above her knees), Ino snickered knowing full well Sasuke had no hope of Sakura ever matching her body. She sarcastically hoped he was into pre-pubescent boys because the pinkette, kami bless her heart, was starving herself and would most likely never develop past a hipless teenage male in form.

Not at all like Ino's flowing figure.

She turned sideways, bent her knees slightly, then leaned forward with her hands on her thighs. With her breasts shoved together and her butt rounding out nicely, she laughed wondering whatever possessed her to starve herself for a boy? Naruto would get a full-grown woman in a few years and Shizuka was in for the fight of her life.

"I'd do me," she giggled out.

Her mom called out that her date had arrived, and, with one last deep breath, she grabbed her small clutch, light jacket, and silver heels before sauntering downstairs. When she stepped through the front part of the shop to meet her date, her mind shut down as her breathing hitched…

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** So, is it wrong that I really like Shizuka as a character? She's deadly. She is absolutely gorgeous. Plus she's pretty much a clean slate given what little of her is shown in canon.

I'm gonna say it now, no use flaming me for getting creative with her in this story.

~Siva'a-tasi


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** If the title of this chapter doesn't cue you in to the last big distraction leading up to the Chunin Arc, the events in the recap section just below it should; I couldn't in good faith skip the story as it's a great tale of falling from grace only to find your redemption with the help of someone equally lost in the world.

Also, I'm guessing people like my portrayals of the Yamanaka heiress? I'd like to think it's because of her strong personality, however, they tend to pop up following some particularly detailed section involving what she's wearing at the time. I have no idea whatever could spur such revelry (but I enjoy the feedback, both positive and otherwise).

Quick update to tide the story flow over. I need to flesh out the storyline beyond the Chunin Arc but I didn't want to drag this update out much longer. It's time to meander from the touchy-feely romance and work back into the gritty blood and guts.

Keep the reviews coming, please and thank you!

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 23: Lost Then Found in the Land of Snow**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on** _ **No More**_

 _Perfect. Heavenly. Divine. If no other words existed to capture what she felt in her heart, those three were one hell of a start._

 _Walking with her jacket on to ward off the chilly air from her partially-exposed back, a fresh lily tucked behind her left ear, Ino giggled and clung her way down the brightly-lit streets of the Market District. She clung happily, both arms wrapped around the left bicep of her freakishly wonderful date bouncing back and forth between squeezing her chest against his rock-hard arm and laughing (internally) at the misfortune of her flamingo-colored frenemy._

 _Her date, yes, as it could be considered nothing less than a date, with Naruto-kun had been everything (up to and including this quiet stroll to their last destination for the night) that she'd hoped, begged, and pleaded every Kami of love and luck that she knew of for. She was pretty sure that Hestia-sama's name found its way on to the list of deities between her shower before getting dressed and squeezing her melons into their constrictive prison for the night._

 _It was praise and prayer well-given in her opinion, the jealous glares of the mini-army of women stalking them to the club like a soothing balm to her worried mind. Shizuka was still out there, after all, her face popping up at odd intervals including a brief image of her during dinner at the Golden Leaf. She shook away that disturbing memory given that the woman's angry emerald eyes vanished when Ino's head snapped back to confirm what she thought she saw._

 _She kept telling herself that i_ _t didn't matter now. That meal of perfect pasta with prawns and creamy alfredo sauce was part of a five-course masterpiece. The fact that the Golden Leaf threw in complimentary champagne for the Genin couple made the chocolate soufflé afterward just another sweet coating to her growing lead over every other girl chasing after his heart._

 _She just couldn't let up. Despite her mind telling her she was strong and could survive losing him to the dark-haired kunoichi, her heart was arguing too loudly not to believe the lies. Despite the independent front, she needed him in her life. She lo… liked him a lot. But how to tell him?_

 _Glancing up into the sparkling sapphires that passed for the smiling eyes of Naruto Uzumaki, Ino resolved to find a way. His casual ease around her, the loving concern he showered her with daily, it all screamed for her to hurry almost like he was standing just outside of arm's reach daring her to make the leap. The boy that kept his entire academy class beyond arm's reach, had opened his entire life to her as was daring her to take the next step._

 _It was more than she'd ever gotten from Sasuke Uchiha. Whereas the broody survivor flung off all affection, Naruto was like a warm magnet drawing her in, a soothing glow he shared with no one else. That simple truth made this night all the more tantalizing given their first stop of the night, the latest Princess Gale movie starring Yukie Fujikaze._

 _For two hours, Ino got to sit snuggled up next to Naruto hugging this same arm to her chest much to his red-faced delight. While the blushing died down some, his enjoyment of her charms remained throughout the evening as she rested her head on his shoulder and munched happily from their shared tub of buttered popcorn._

 _When the Princess's retainers were surrounded by the carnage of their army's defeat and staring at their own imminent demise, Ino's heart surged in commiseration mirroring her plight alongside Naruto as he prepared to face down an army of gold-digging trophy wives. When Princess Gale rallied them to face her nemesis, the evil sorcerer Mao, Ino's mind subconsciously inserted Shizuka as her nemesis then draped the vast army of undead minions in flowing kimonos and garish makeup making their destruction even more satisfying._

 _The lights coming on in the theater meant that the night was halfway done but even that couldn't dim her enthusiasm. They were off to The Grand Oak next, Konoha's premier club for a night of dancing and heated body rubbing wrapped in driving bass. It made her thighs warm just thinking about it._

 _Saturday night was big band night, where the DJs intermixed the latest club hits between band sets, and Ino was looking forward to breaking in her new silver ballerina flats._

 _She squeezed Naruto's rock-hard bicep with her boobs one more time enjoying the heated flush in his cheeks as she giggled her way through the quarter. She also sighed happily at the anguished cries of "Hussie!" as they died out in the alleyways behind her._

 _She was winning after all._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Saturday Night in the Market District ~**

Asuma considered himself a lucky man. Judging by the jealous glares he was getting while walking down Konoha's main drag towards their Saturday night club destination with Kurenai-chan hanging on his right arm and Anko silkily swaying her hips just to his left, he'd say that the hateful looks by lesser men were well worth it.

It didn't mean that he wasn't nervous. Both women were wearing the equivalent of "that little black dress," those being one-piece ensembles that showed lots of curvy leg, back, neckline, or some combination of all three in Anko's case. Kami she was a sexy goddess in that forest-green getup and her tastes were thankfully beginning to rub off on Kurenai in her wine-colored shoulderless-sleeveless carbon copy.

The shiny material reflected nicely and highlighted all the shadowy parts of her body indicated hidden treasure he so wanted to unveil one of these days.

All too soon the angry stares gave way to booming dance beats he could feel in his sternum. With a squeal, both women began pulling him past the waiting civilians (shinobi all received head of the line privileges) and into the club proper, Asuma trying valiantly to keep his eyes off the very curvy bottoms of his two escorts for the night.

He still needed to find a way to pawn them off on some hopeful sucker since he couldn't dance to save his own ass. More often than not, the two gyrated sensually on the dance floor to pass the time and he sat alone smoking and drinking to his heart's content. Perhaps some chump would come to his rescue tonight.

He really started to pray once the modern clubhouse beat gave way to the high-energy horns of the band pushing out peppy tropical tunes, tunes that drew ecstatic squeals from his date and her best friend as the two began pulling him to the edge of the floor. _Were these even the same women he thought he knew?_ With a muffled groan, he trudged along dragging his feet while his eyes scanned the crowd for the first sacri-… er, volunteer.

To his enormous relief, all three of them froze as they joined the growing crowd ringing the open area meant for people to dance, Asuma's eyes nearly bugging out of his head as he saw two of his Genin center stage moving flawlessly to a high-tempo Latin beat.

Ino he didn't recognize right away and that added to the immediate shock and awe. The silky lavender outfit she wore hugged her slender yet curvaceous frame making her seem much older, her braided hair whipping about as her taller dance partner flowed effortlessly into and out of her reach in the traditional one-two-three-pause-five-six-seven-pause rhythm of the fluid ballroom dance style. Naruto was wearing black slacks and polished shoes that gleamed with attention to detail, his sand-colored short-sleeved button-up ringed near the bottom with a wingless dragon of burnt orange. Without his hitai keeping his hair up, he'd painstakingly combed it all down so that it framed the upper sides of his face and hugged the back of his neck just above the collar.

It was this same Naruto that was gliding like a professional dancer as he meshed perfectly with his hysterically-grinning partner, the girl's delight written all over her face. They were alone on the floor and together they commanded the attention of everyone not a part of their small universe of two.

Asuma noted their excellent synchronization. It wasn't perfect. There were misses, stutters as momentums clashed briefly, however, their reaction times as trained shinobi allowed them to correct real-time giving a credible performance that seemed practiced enough to draw spontaneous clapping from the crowd enjoying the performance, civilian and shinobi alike.

The two spun and twisted, twirled and dipped then repeated as the music drove them onward. Finally, as the band prepared to break following the thirty-minute set supporting the well-received dance, Naruto spun her gently away and, with the gentlest of tugs, twirled Ino back into and against his chest, her curvy thigh hiking up to latch onto his hip as she straddled his left thigh. With her hand coming up to cup his face and his left hand sliding down to her lower spine, the ending matched perfectly with the final trumpet blasts coming from the music box.

Watching the two panting teens laughing face-to-face, their bodies pressed together erotically on the floor, Asuma began to dissect the amount of coordination required for them to pull that off performance then glanced sideways at his date for the night. He'd need to find a partner for Shikamaru but there might be a way to leverage the skill he'd seen from the _blondamic (blond plus dynamic) duo_ and spend weekends with Kurenai here in the club without going bankrupt doing it. That's why sensei's had a training stipend, right?

Hell, maybe Naruto would entertain them while he safely drank himself stupid.

It was as the underhanded Sarutobi was sneaking a peek at his love interest's gorgeous (and slightly jealous) profile, that he noted Anko's serious and hateful demeanor. 'Could she be… _jealous_?'

That thought lasted all of two seconds before he shrugged it off with a short burst of air. The Snake Queen was jealous of a Genin? Not in this universe. Instead, he turned back to see his charges sliding off the floor only to find Naruto's arms being grabbed by other women, both young and old, asking him to teach them the basics of the dance they'd just performed. With Ino's giggling consent, he stayed behind to begin a crash course in Salsa dancing, one Kurenai sought quietly to join in on with Anko not half a step behind.

Secure in their developing relationship, he raked his eyes over the rest of the crowd to catch the granite stare of Princess Shizuka staring down the back of his blond kunoichi, the girl's angry eyes following Ino until she caught Asuma's stern gaze. Realizing she'd been caught, the reserved princess turned her eyes back to the floor and locked in on the bashful Genin trying to teach almost a dozen women standing in a line stretching in both directions the basic step and hip-swaying motions of the latest dance craze.

"Whew!" Ino gasped out. "That was fuuuuuuuuuuuun!" Asuma smiled at her before turning his eyes back out to the floor.

"You and Naruto dance well together. How long have you guys been practicing?" Ino's maniacal laughter shocked him slightly.

"This?! This was our first time!" She was raising her voice to be heard over the freshly returned club music but Asuma heard her clear as day. She saw as much when his jaw fell open dropping his cig onto the stone tiles where she could crush the abominable thing underfoot.

Asuma scowled and lit another. "You mean to tell me this is your _first time_ dancing with him?" The grinning girl nodded her head excitedly and squealed like a small school girl. He would have called bullshit if not for her behavior and Naruto's, until recently, _persona-non-grata_ reputation throughout the entire village; no way the club would let him in without some serious political muscle power to back it up, like the beloved daughter of the village's top head smasher.

Instead, he turned to gape at the now embarrassed Genin trying to extract his head from Anko's cleavage as she tried to grind him into the floor. Thankfully Kurenai, and an army of annoyed girls waiting not-so-patiently for their turn, came to his rescue.

"He's really good." She tittered uncontrollably for a second. "He calls this 'footwork training.' It's surprising really since I didn't know that he could dance at all." She took a napkin and dabbed lightly at her neck and cleavage. "He's really smooth and patient when it comes to teaching and not just dancing, but all sorts of things."

He glanced sideways at the glowing girl reminding himself that she was only fourteen no matter how she longingly stared at her blond counterpart.

"Plus, this is a _great_ workout! We should bring the team some time to work on our team footwork!" Asuma smiled for the first time that night and Ino felt the color drain from her face as she caught his sudden burst of… _enthusiasm_.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Ino…"

Her smile faltered. His look conveyed an underhanded scheme in the making if ever she saw one and Ino had the strongest desire to go back onto the dance floor where it was relatively safe and all she had to look out for were a dozen conniving bitches out to steal her man from underneath her.

~III~

November (what was left of it) and December stilled as far as regular activity was concerned. With the exception of periodic bandit clearings and the occasional birthday (Hinata's proved a challenge when it came to delivering her birthday present), regular training and D-ranks captivated most of Team Ten's time.

Naruto completed his level one and two _Fūinjutsu_ certifications at the standard Konoha testing phase giving him access to explosive notes and remote detonation seals primers. Combining his elemental storage arrays, it opened up an entire catalog of options when it came to detonating arrays, one that made his teammates nervous with his frequent cackling at odd moments (the boy appeared scorched and frazzled so often Ino made it a regular habit to check for hidden injury or missing digits). Jiraiya was the only other seals master remotely capable of vouchsafing his skill level in Uzushiogakure sealing methods at levels one through three, not that he was particularly keen on spending time with the old lecher. Anything beyond that he'd have to manage on his own unless he could scrounge up some long-lost master from his destroyed village. That said, by the time January came around he was preparing to earn his mastery over the first stage of his favorite art, Abe-san and his family encouraging his studies whenever they could. He found it useful as Shizuka's attempts to sneak into his bed at night grew increasingly bolder as time went on.

Asuma (once the holidays ended) ramped up their training even going so far as to leverage Chunin instructors to help with Ino's _Iryojutsu_ and Shika's _Genjutsu_ development. He was hoping to build their elemental mastery to usable levels by the time the Chunin Exams rolled around as the defensive nature of Ino's _Suiton_ affinity offset nicely with Shika's _Katon_ bend. Naruto assumed it would be close, but he could at least work with Ino during their morning training sessions.

Speaking of morning training, Naruto needed to adjust their plan once Ino starting training three times a week. He couldn't alter his training days with Gamatetsu so the Clone Brigade was forced into gainful employment beyond blowing each other up. Naruto found himself growing increasingly jealous of the lucky chakra doppelganger that got to spend morning's after their laps helping her perfect her own _taijutsu_ style, no matter how much she improved.

Big Band Night at _The_ _Grand Oak_ became Team Ten's standard Saturday training event, much to Shikamaru's chagrin, especially when he had to line up with all the other female hopefuls to take lessons from his blond teammates. The fact that Asuma refused to let him smoke until he'd found a partner each week and spent no less than thirty minutes engaged in actual dancing only made him more cross. After much trial and error, the sullen Nara struck a bargain with Fumiko Shizen, a kunoichi from their class recognized as the female Nara equivalent in both intellect and lack of motivation, finding a steady and recurring partner to work through his forced drudgery. Naruto found it odd that the self-admitted slacker gradually began to spend more time dancing with the doe-eyed brunette of the Shizen Clan without additional prodding from their sensei.

He found it... _troublesome_.

Before the Uzumaki Heir realized it, January rolled around with new surprises and adventures.

~III~

The front door opened with a soft click, the lean figure at the entrance pausing to listen quietly to the soft ticking of the clock in the tiny kitchenette. A keen eye scanned the tidy apartment as the figure counted a quiet thirty-second delay before gliding past the immaculate desk in the corner and through the efficient two-room flat. Pausing by the small hall closet and the barely larger bathroom, with working hot water no less, the blanket of silence broke with the figure's next few short intakes.

 _Sniff! Sniiiiiiiiiiiff!_

 _'Interesting.'_ A gloved hand gently pushed open the bedroom door, the owner sliding inside to witness the barely-covered Nadeshiko heiress draped directly over the sleeping form of a whiskered blond, the male's soft snores pouring unabated into the heavily musked room. From where the shadow stood, it wasn't terribly difficult to see what was happening, and the figures uncovered eye narrowed dangerously at the large expanse of side boob spilling over the sleeping male's ribcage.

The covers had been pulled down until they covered the lower halves of both occupants; the boy's bare chest covered by the girl's equally naked upper body. On his forehead lay a paper seal with the kanji for sleep glowing dully as the room's legal occupant slept through the assault on his person, the girl's hips rising, rocking and falling beneath the covers. Her face was contorted with pleasure and concentration as her breathing began to hitch and increase.

Anger flushed through the tall figure's body and he started to step forward, his right arm outstretched to yank the distracted girl away only to freeze as her face contorted almost in agony as she seized, bucked twice, then grunted out a hissing breath matching the boy's twitching spasms beneath her body.

' _Outrageous!'_ he swore silently, his one eye blinking even as comprehension dawned. Would this start a war? At a minimum, the alliance would get called off. Normally the girl would be imprisoned or executed for…

His mind caught then stumbled as he chided himself for thinking like a rational person. This was Naruto he was considering. Most likely the Council would look the other way and accept the sealed treaty without a backward glance. They wouldn't care about his pain and the Nadeshiko would still get what they wanted.

He felt violated for the unconscious boy, angry even. No one but the Hokage would care and there wasn't much he could do about it short of going to war, a war the Council wouldn't (couldn't) refute even as they undercut Konoha's forces to hamper him.

The figure stepped forward quickly, his palm glowing briefly before it brushed lightly against the girl's shoulder. Her tired eyes opened briefly before the pulsing seal took affect forcing her into a dreamless slumber. Sighing as he sat on the edge of the bed, Kakashi Hatake ran through a large number of seals before placing his fingers on the temporal lobes of the slumbering male, a pale blue glowing flowing from his hand into the forward brain of Naruto Uzumaki.

"Sleep well, Naruto. Most likely when you awake, she'll be long gone and Konoha will be the mysterious benefactor of their ratified treaty. It is my hope that you will remember none of tonight… nor any of the other nights she snuck in here without your knowledge." It wouldn't matter much after this last jump anyway as none of this was going to stick. No sense making a big deal out of it.

The one-eyed Jounin frowned at the pretty girl draped all over the Yondaime's son wanting nothing more than to slit her pretty throat. _'It's always the gorgeous ones you have to watch out for.'_

Instead, he rose to silently depart the same way he came knowing that the chakra from his seal would dissipate within the hour. More than likely Shizuka would remove her own seal and depart leaving him none the wiser even if a tiny bit stickier.

Strictly on impulse, he stopped and lifted the covers revealing her shapely legs and backside… a shapely backside covered in dark panties highlighting her still developing curves resting comfortably on top of Naruto's ramen-themed pajamas. Pajamas still snugged tightly around his waist.

Apparently, she wasn't willing to go that far, yet.

His eye clamped shut as he tried to clear his nostrils of the heavy musk wafting up from under the covers. Someone was clearly aroused despite the lack of coitus. Perhaps her gyrating hips were a subconscious reaction? Perhaps she was just a horny minx? More than likely she was escalating, building up to a line she was growing more and more comfortable with crossing?

Shrugging as he lowered the covers again, he left as quietly as he arrived.

There wasn't much to do about it now especially since he'd imparted the information Naruto would need to complete his project. It was vitally important that things went correctly this time around. The butterfly effect from previous jumps had grown beyond previous calculations. Any more tampering and it would be impossible to predict the rippling cataclysm on the timestream.

No, they really needed to get it right with this next one.

Taking his last stroll through the quiet village, Kakashi pushed his chakra into the doorknob of his father's home to gain entry, locking the door one last time once he stepped inside. With a brief pulse of chakra, a duplicate Kakashi popped into existence, nodded once to its creator, then sprinted upstairs to the second floor of the quaint home.

Kakashi ignored the dusty picture frames and the largely undisturbed home. The air inside felt… old, for lack of a better word. Dust hung heavy even though the objects inside appeared fairly modern and well kept.

A pair of recliners rested peacefully across from each other and angled towards the small hearth. The built-in bookshelves rising from the floor to the ceiling and across to the other side of the fireplace held an odd collection of books and scrolls, most notable being the dust free and pristine collection of bright orange books arrayed in perfect order centermost on the shelves.

Kakashi's face scrunched up in disgust as he glided away from the door, skirted the unused kitchen, then quietly trudged upstairs into the small hallway with four closed doors. He strode lazily past the first two doors ignoring the bathroom to his right and the accompanying linen closet directly across from it. Pausing as his hand reached for the second door on the right, his head turned to consider the closed door directly behind his now turned back.

' _Nope, not my place to help with that. He'll take care of it when he's ready.'_ With a heavy sigh, he turned the nob and strode boldly into the small bedroom with a hearty, "Tadaima!" His face fell in dramatic fashion even though he knew the prone figure lying on the western style bed hadn't moved. He knew for a fact that the figure hadn't moved in over eight months but he enjoyed the family routine regardless.

Muttering a hushed, "Okaeri nasai" through the side of his mouth, Kakashi put on his patented eye smile and plopped down into a chair waiting for him just to the left side of the bed.

"Boy! You won't believe what that prickish Uchiha runt did today." Overexaggerating his sigh and slapping his palms loudly against his thighs, the elite's exposed eye shot open in mock hurt.

"What?! How dare I insult your 'cute ultimate-uber-favorite Genin' of all time?!" He leaned forward dramatically, his eye narrowing in frustration as he jabbed a finger into the cheek of the sleeping man wearing a lower face mask and hitai-ite jauntily covering his left eye, the right one closed and blissfully unaware of what was going on. "You bastard! If you'd done your job right the first time, none of this would have been necessary and I wouldn't be back in this hateful time of my life trying to un-fluster cluck it!"

The rage began to dwindle suddenly as the figure leaned back in the chair, his eye wandering to the ceiling absently.

"Although, we didn't foresee Chouji getting shafted with the emo-prick this time around. Gotta make amends for that." His eye, now angry again, shot down towards his apparently sleeping twin. "Didn't foresee Tazuna's death either and what a right mess that was let me tell you! And you were a right bastard to snag. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were remembering past jumps. Took seven attempts to hit you with that paralysis seal long enough to seal you up in stasis." The figure absently rubbed their chest as if remembering some past trauma.

Suddenly, his somber mood vanished as he chirped happily, his sandaled feet lifting from the faded carpet to land heavily on the man's sleeping chest.

"So, the emo-bastard cried for either a B-rank or two more C-ranks today and I laughed when the Hokage shot him down. Heh, good times indeed. Instead, we got a D-rank to clean out and repair the east orphanage's septic tank." He shuddered and once again felt pity for the amiable Akimichi. "I felt it appropriate to humble the whiny brat with another Tora capture, which was made more difficult by the lingering smell from the previous mission." Here Kakashi laughed long and hard until tears began leaking from his right eye even as his head bobbed happily at the memory. He stopped abruptly when the clone stuck its head in the door with a quick, "It's done."

The seated Kakashi nodded once. "Make sure to take this bum back to his apartment once I'm done here." The doppelganger nodded in return then backed out of the room with a soft click of the door.

"Welp, looks like we've reached the end of our journey this time around, _old boy_." The still chuckling Kakashi slapped his thighs one last time before turning serious.

Sliding the back of his left glove down to reveal an odd seal shaped like a hollow and segmented octagon, he glanced at the seven red sections (and one flashing golden section) noting he had about another hour left to his countdown. The center of the seal had a globe-shaped orb with five different sections, each showing a different set of kanji.

Replacing the metal-backed glove, he flew through a long series of seals bringing a blue glow to his hands. His right reached up to palm his own forehead while the left reached over and repeated the same gesture to the sleeping cyclops. Once the glow faded, the suddenly very tired Kakashi snarled down to his twin and rose quietly to make his way out of the room again.

Going next door, he entered the bathroom and, without pause, stepped into the tub which was filled with a bubbling liquid the color of oatmeal. The solution immediately began to hiss but he appeared unaffected as he locked eyes with the clone, his head dropping in altitude as the two spoke.

"I've tied off the tether which should give you about two hours' worth of chakra." The clone nodded. "Make sure you're not seen and do us all a favor and buff the seals on Naruto's apartment if you can. If not, we'll have to make sure we address that in the next jump."

The clone nodded somberly as his eyes tracked Kakashi's descent into the pooling mass of now pink oatmeal. He appeared to be… melting?

"Hopefully it will be the last." With that, Kakashi Hatake, or what appeared to be Kakashi Hatake, melted into a puddle of dark pink goo as his clone opened the drain and began rinsing his remains away.

~III~

As the last of his Genin took their respective places in formation, Asuma turned to his father with a raised eyebrow, an unlit cig clamped loosely between his lips.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Team Ten." The Genin looked a little confused. It wasn't like they could refuse a summons from their Hokage, could they? "Normally what I'm about to ask of you would go to a heavy strike team like Team Seven, but they are otherwise detained dealing with an emergency situation involving the Katabami gold mine in _Kawa no Kuni_."

Hiruzen tried an easy smile receiving a welcomed response only from the kunoichi then promptly surrendered the effort as being futile before tossing a B-ranked scroll to the Jounin leader. Every eyebrow on the squad tried to climb off their respective foreheads.

"Since your team is better balanced with a fair amount of power, I see no harm in giving you this mission in their stead." Asuma's whistle caught his Genin by surprise.

"You sure about this pop?" Asuma made no effort to hide his familiarity with the old man as he stared at the scroll in his hand like it suddenly grew claws and fangs. "While I appreciate the bump in pay, these missions are for experienced Chunin teams, not Genin no matter how strong my Genin are."

Team Ten flushed red at the praise. Hiruzen chuckled, his eyes crinkling merrily at the corners as he set his pipe down on its cradle.

"Normally I would never consider offering this mission to a Genin team no matter how seasoned." Iruka was squirming uncomfortably seated next to the old man's desk. "However, the mission has been bumped to a B-rank solely because of the person being escorted and not because there is an expected risk of fighting enemy shinobi."

Puzzled, Asuma tore the scroll open and immediately sucked in a double lungful of air. _'This is going to cause hell-.'_

Ino squealed loud enough to rattle the reinforced glass windows of the office.

' _Yup, there it is.'_ Everyone in the squad knew how much the perky blond loved Michy, the actor that portrayed Sukeakuro, the dashing kenjutsu artist in all the Princess Gale movies. They also knew this marked the second instance where Ino battled with her pinkette frenemy concerning their one allowable marital infidelity: the dreaded superstar crush.

While she was growing very fond of her blond idiot, her second love of the _"Dashing Michy-kun"_ was a well-known not-secret. If Asuma was reading this scroll correctly, they'd be spending a great deal of time with the entire cast as they escorted the entire entourage to _Yuki no Kuni_ for their latest movie project.

"Alright, gang. It appears we will need to do some research for this job. Meet at the movie theater tonight and we'll watch the Princess Gale flick so that we can familiarize ourselves with our client." Naruto's faced scrunched up in concentration.

"But sensei, Ino and I- _uuuurrkkkk!"_ A sweetly smiling Ino dusted off her hands as she calmly stepped on the lips of a battered splotch resembling their former blond teammate in order to silence his sputtering groans of agony.

The three males not lying in a pool of their own blood cringed with great concern for their fallen comrade. None, however, were foolish enough to jump in and save him. Shikamaru flinched more than the rest wondering if a particularly pulverized splotch of tissue was the boy's unfortunate spleen.

"What Naruto meant to say sensei was, _'We'd be honored to undertake this vital preparation as a serious part of our mission, and we'll meet you there at seven-thirty.'_ " The boy bleeding out under her foot groaned in pain and she shushed him harshly but lovingly.

~III~

Having recovered from his near-death Michy-kun driven experience (and having narrowly escaped waking to a scantily-clad Shizuka sleeping peacefully on his chest as she straddled his body), Team Ten mustered near the Northern Gate on their way to _Yu no Kuni_ , the Land of Hot Water. They were going to skirt the former _Ta no Kuni_ in order to meet their clients in Yugakure. From there it was only a short journey to the northern port village of Haru no Haru.

Once there, Naruto would learn the greatest truth Shikamaru could pass on to him; women, regardless of origin, were troublesome in their own way. Every last one of them. It was a universal truth made evident the moment a horse and rider came barreling down the busy streets of Haru no Haru.

This truth came wrapped in the form of a runaway horse terrorizing the shopping district the threesome loitered in while awaiting the arrival of their sensei with the gentleman holding the client end of their contract.

Indiscriminate destruction of property is often unavoidable when large quadrupeds force their way through busy market places not meant for horses. It also helps if the rider has zero concern for the safety of others and, as Naruto observed the raven-haired woman plowing through fruit stands, trinket vendors, and spools of cloth, this crazy woman met the criteria for all three conditions. His eyes narrowed even as the trio leaped up to the wall of a nearby building, several disgusted _tsks_ following them to a perch the frantically fleeing duo could not reach.

It lasted until the cadre of armored samurai blasted down the street after the racing woman, a good dozen or so horses finishing off anything not already trampled or toppled in the wake of her bid for freedom. Ino gasped as her arm shot out after the fluttering robes of the woman.

"That's Princess Gale and she's in trouble!" Naruto's eyes narrowed as his head turned to watch his blond teammate streak off after the colorful blur atop the enormous equine that nearly flattened them all. Unfortunately, several thoughts flashed behind his eyes in the ten seconds he stood plastered to the building face while his blond-haired training partner raced off to save the day.

He didn't get a good luck at the rider's face while escaping the pounding hooves of the larger beast. Clearly, Ino saw something he didn't but could she have been wrong? Were they about to interfere in the affairs of some vapid noble? Haru no Haru had their share of wealthy socialites, places commoners and shinobi dared not tread unless openly invited.

The samurai he did get a good look at, their burly forms calmly pacing the object of their frustrations. Samurai tended to work for someone powerful and powerful people generally frowned upon uninvited guests butting into their affairs. Standing by and allowing public kidnappings to take place were very unappealing but Team Ten had other business to attend to meaning involvement in random acts of stupid would be less than desirable. Perhaps this might impact their upcoming mission. Who knew to be honest?

"We don't have time for this, Shika." In all seriousness, Naruto was wondering where their lazy sensei was. He was wondering why they hadn't received details on their mission. Unfortunately, it would have to wait as he jumped off the wall keeping him above it all and shot off across town's skyline.

With a terse, "Troublesome," Shikamaru joined his grumbling teammate looking to make sure Ino didn't hurt anyone unnecessarily in pursuit of her goal to protect her favorite movie heroine.

~III~

Naruto Uzumaki was enjoying the gentle swaying of the ship beneath his feet. The horizon had begun to lighten in that pre-dawn grey he'd grown all-too-familiar with during his normal morning routine only this time it came with the salty tang of the sea as their boat bobbed its way northeasterly through Aisu Bay. Given their mad dash northward during the first night, it was only a matter of time before their "guest of honor" awoke to grace them with her lovely _presence_.

Her discovery of their first day at sea had been, for him, an enjoyable revelation. All distraught and flustered, she'd burst onto the weather deck in her night robe much to the red-faced embarrassment of her film crew setting up their ship-based scenes. Ino was all a-gaga over her favorite actor and never noticed but Shika's tomato red cheeks indicated he enjoyed the plunging neckline and slightly see-through cloth doing little to hide the woman's curvy figure.

Naruto never gave her a second look and pointedly turned back out to the waves. He smiled briefly as he saw the large graceful form gliding quietly just beneath the surface a few hundred yards out. Why couldn't the haughty ice princess be more like the _Umihebi_?

Under the best circumstances, she was triflingly boring, her rude tongue and shallow personality barbed and condescending to everyone but her three co-stars. Even her manager Sandayū wasn't spared her typical ire and it grated his nerves. Yes, she was top billing. Yes, she was famous across the elemental kingdoms and not just the Land of Fire where her film company based out of. No, none of it gave her due cause to be an insufferable ass to everyone else. He was truly learning to despise the woman and love the onscreen persona; if she could separate the two, then so could he.

It truly amazed him how much less amenable the woman was when drunk (if at all possible) and, if not for the judicious application of sleeping drops in her incredibly disappearing cups of sake, they may not have made it to the pier in time to sail that first night. Her bullheaded refusal to film in the Land of Snow still perplexed the blond Genin. What was she afraid of? More importantly – given her penchant for fleeing, what (or whom) was she running from?

He could see it behind the stone wall Yukie Fujikaze wore for a face. Intractable? Certainly, but behind it all lay the face of someone running, hiding. Naruto was familiar with masks as he'd worn one the majority of his youth. Thinking back on it, he still wore one only he'd exchanged the bumbling fool for what he hoped resembled the cool competence befitting his chosen career.

No, the stubbornly anti-social actress went so far as to lead them on a merry chase three nights ago hoping to flee from her past. Despite not being much of a betting man, Naruto would have given even odds that her past tied her to the great frozen north that was Yuki no Kuni, a shiver crawling up his spine as he listened to the dice tumbling about inside his head.

He had the unshakable feeling their luck was about to turn for the worst even as the very air he gulped in during his morning reflection began to chill with each passing hour that the ship pushed onward. It was an eerie pins and needles sensation at the back of his neck he just couldn't shake. Even Yukie's sullen scowl as she underwent her normal three-hour morning makeup process couldn't alleviate the eerie feeling.

Then the animated screaming from the director began drawing his eyes forward to the bow of the ship… and the incredibly large iceberg blocking their path.

~III~


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** I don't believe I was clear enough in the sleeping scene in the previous chapter. Shizuka has been able to sneak into the room of the mighty level two-and-a-half sealing master, Naruto. Given he is a heavy sleeper when sleeping soundly in his own home (he's a young shinobi) and, despite his growing skill in the shinobi arts, he still has a long way to go. A person has a reasonable expectation of privacy and safety in their own home, right? That would explain why he's such a heavy sleeper when he's home and feels protected by his mother's adopted security seals. Well, perhaps those rules were never meant for a shinobi village and Naruto gets to learn that the hard way.

Truth be told, Shizuka has not physically assaulted Naruto in his sleep. For now, she's been building up her courage and slowly, but surely, escalating her aggressive behavior. The longer Naruto stalls her, the more she feels she'll get shafted by her "future husband" as her master did by Naruto's "sensei," Jiraiya. Like any animal, or person, that feels trapped by their circumstance, Shizuka feels she may have to eventually take matters into her own hands to ensure she consummates the marriage and gives birth to an heir. Note that she has NOT crossed that line yet as she's grappling with the decision of allowing Naruto a mistress or second wife per the Konoha CRA. The Kakashi seen in the scene at first assumes that she has done so because of the high levels of "musk" in the air but, against his better judgment, takes a peek and confirms that Naruto is still dressed for bed indicating intercourse has not taken place yet.

Everyone forgets his almost canine-like sense of smell; the smell would seem very strong to him or even Naruto with his augmented senses.

Let's not assume rape right off the bat people (she's getting her grind on but hasn't gone over the rapist cliff yet). Who is to say that my Shizuka isn't a very active sleeper or that she loves cuddling up with body pillows? Naruto is the best kind; he's self-heated.

Keep the reviews coming!

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 24: In the Land of Spring**_

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Office of the Hokage ~**

 **~ The Day of Team Ten's Departure for the Land of Snow ~**

"Thank you, Hakui, for looking after our guest." Haku's eyebrows rose as her gaze followed the bowing med nin stepping quietly from the Hokage's office that she'd only known as "Saito-senpai." Beyond the _hime_ -style haircut parted over her forehead protector and trailing behind in a flowing ponytail, the dark eyes were quiet and emotionless. The medic reminded the quiet almost-a-kunoichi of the few Kiri shinobi she'd known with that thousand-yard stare, eyes that saw too much and could no longer focus on the life right in front of them. Unfortunately, the Hokage's gentle throat clearing brought the ice user back to the present meaning focused on his desk.

"I see you've kept busy during your parole, Haku-chan." Haku's ebony-colored bangs swayed calmly as she nodded.

"Hai, Hokage-sama. I was able to help in the medical lab at the hospital making some of the more common salves and herbal remedies I am familiar with. Konoha has a remarkable resource garden."

The Hokage nodded with a happy twinkle in his eyes. Over the last few months, he'd received nothing but glowing remarks about the Kiri apprentice's holistic skills concerning cures and _iryojutsu_. Shift leaders at the hospital were all but brawling over drafting Haku on to their squads and several bids had been made by ANBU squad leaders wanting a combat-trained med nin on their more hazardous outings.

"Would you like to continue there once your parole ends? That would be an easy situation to-." The petite girl's upraised palm stopped him abruptly.

"I will serve my new master once you allow me to, Hokage-sama." The old man's brow wrinkled like an old prune at the comment. "I am contented with that much."

Haku tried not to smile overly much as the elderly man puffed up signaling the beginning their on-going argument over her insistence on the Rights of Conquest. It was an old tradition most shinobi overlooked but was not completely forgotten and the old monkey was beginning to curse Zabuza's name for drilling the more archaic traditions into the head of the incredibly stubborn kunoichi. Given their nigh three-month history, he could see her in no other light having watched her combat skills assessment.

Zabuza trained her well.

Shinobi defeated or captured in times of conflict were often taken as slaves and forced to become indentured servants laboring for the shinobi powerful enough to subdue them. More often than not it applied to kunoichi as sex slaves but there were instances of males dominated in such ways rare though it was. Nonetheless, she smiled nearly knowing the Sandaime's counterpoints by heart as she mentally recited them along with him.

"I've read the report… the ANBU in question didn't initiate combat with you… the two of you were not opposing factions…" The list went on and on and she always retorted with the same response.

"I initiated combat, Hokage-sama, and, for all intents and purposes, had been in an aggravated state of hostilities for over a week before his arrival. It's irrelevant that the shinobi in question (he still refused to identify her new master) didn't enter into a state of war with me as I was already there in my defense of the Aono family. The rules apply all the same."

Hiruzen let out a frustrated warble that split the difference between a sigh and a groan recognizing that the stubborn female was not about to budge her position on the matter. It would be a tough loss to sell to the Council already clamoring to breed her into a coma if it led to an army of ice wielders for Konoha.

"Very well then. He's on a mission at the moment but, when he returns, we'll make arrangements for the two of you to meet. Your parole officially ends in two weeks so do not expect anything before then." She nodded crisply, a warm smile spreading from her mouth to her eyes.

"You're aware what this will mean with the Council if he refuses your subjugation, correct?"

Haku nodded once more albeit less enthusiastically and shivered slightly. If he refused her and she was unable to escape Konoha, she'd most likely spend the rest of her youth strapped to a table popping out children for the Konoha war machine. She saw herself out after bowing once more to the kindly old Hokage.

It was not a future she heartily embraced.

~III~

 **~Current Time Aboard the Good Ship** _ **Northern Paradise~**_

Makino's voice began shouting orders as Naruto looked on unconcerned from his side of the ship. His eyes were focused on the rather enormous island of ice floating directly across their path. The crew was calling it an iceberg, but it was far larger than the stories he read in Konoha's library, its "shores" stretching for miles in both directions.

Adding insult to injury was the fact that it was laced with chakra. To Naruto's senses, it literally thrummed with the stuff which made detecting specific chakra sources anywhere near it challenging to say the least, especially for someone with low-Chunin sensor proficiency as of his last brutal self-assessment.

Clones could be asses when they wanted to be heartless. Naruto swore bitterly that the clone's low marks were due to jealousy and no, thank you very much, he wasn't going to share Shizuka even if he didn't want to marry her.

Shrugging off the specter-like voice of the clone nagging him over the unfairness of it all, he turned his eyes back to the scurrying crew as they began setting up the stage for their beloved princess. The deep blue of his eyes narrowed to almost slits as she sat through another two-hour makeup session while her mother hen, Sandayu, paced nervously around her at two arm lengths.

Naruto could swear the man's nose spectacles were specially calibrated to keep him at that specific range, no more no less.

"Asuma-sensei," the blond kunoichi began gaining the attention of her entire team in the process, "the chakra from that iceberg is making my head hurt. I just thought you should know."

Asuma's left eyebrow rose up as he glanced to the other blond and got a single head nod in confirmation. For the briefest of moments, he considered ordering everyone back on the boat but that wouldn't alleviate the problem of the ice roadblock before them. Whoever had the chakra to construct such a behemoth had the power to chase them down at the ship's turtle-like pace. No, running was not an option against the unknown.

He didn't think sailing around would work out in their favor either as it would most likely take several days in either direction. He doubted that the tight-fisted director and their spoiled movie princess would have agreed regardless.

No, they'd need to eventually deal with whoever set up the chilly reception. Now, rather than later, worked just as well in Asuma's trade book.

"Looks like the best way out is through," the bronzed Jounin replied. "Keep your eyes peeled for visitors. Shikamaru, take shadow. Naruto, you're on point. Ino, back up your twin." Despite the girl's tsking grunt, Ino smiled at her assignment. Training with Naruto was beginning to pay off since Asuma often refused to put her at risk given her previously poor taijutsu and bukijutsu skills. She would have to properly thank him later.

The team sauntered off to assume their babysitting duties in and around the makeshift film set.

~III~

 **~In the Glittering Grotto~**

Opal's eyes wandered up towards the ceiling of the Grotto, her mind wandering briefly from the heated argument going on around her. Neither side had changed their opinion about the subject and it appeared an impasse was far from possible given the staunch refusal of their clan patron when it came to her chosen pairing, one Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze. What did strike her as odd was the sudden emergence of her long-hidden sibling.

Ellamus, once a beautiful and gentle creature of grace, fell into despair once her summoner passed to the realm of the Shinigami. She loved her summoner with all her heart and railed against attempting the dual bond for days on end. At the end, when the clan matron could not be swayed from her course, she refused to allow any other echidnae from her strain to attempt it and she stayed by her side until the aged woman breathed her last following the transfer of the _burden_ to its next host. Her continued fall into despair beyond that moment led to her withdrawal from the clan and seclusion in her own cul de sac where she often slept for months at a time rising only to feed.

Her once lustrous scales no longer shone. The sleek lines of her once well-toned form seemed a little too thin as of late. She was suffering, wasting away into the gloom that claimed too many of the clutch once a summoner shuffled off the mortal coil of their existence. Ella-chan appeared to be well on her way to joining them and it pained Opal's very soul to see the end result.

After two decades of self-imposed seclusion, she stood once again before the clan refusing to allow any other from the Stormbringer echidnae to suffer as she had. In her own words, if this fool sought the _Serpent's Kiss_ then she would shield Titus from knowing the pain of a failed bond and so bless him on his path to suicide. She would shoulder the burden in the hopes that it would send her to be with her beloved Mito-chan.

Opal sighed wanting to embrace her sister and bring her from the depths of her despair but she was beyond her meager skills and knew it. She only hoped her mas-, her summoner could reach her and change her heart.

Ella-chan had much to share if she could only be made to believe once again.

~III~

 **~Back in the Land of Snow~**

Naruto's eyes raked the frozen backdrop once more, his ears tuning out the chintzy dialogue from the actor playing Princess Gale's nemesis. Standing behind the camera operator, his gaze kept getting pulled up to the outcropping just above and to the right of the robed antagonist. It was as the hostilities on the set were about to pick up that the very same outcropping exploded into pillaring columns of black and white smoke.

"And here I was hoping to meet an old friend after all these years. I suppose you'll do Mr…?" The happuri-style masked shinobi's voice trailed on as if waiting for Asuma to fill in the blank, his lean but cruel face showing pure arrogance as he stood above his opponent.

"It's considered good manners to provide your own name when inquiring of another's." The Konoha Jounin's comeback was immediate and seamless.

"Nadare Roga," the long-haired nin quipped out through shining teeth, his bow equally mocking.

"Asuma Sarutobi." Asuma didn't bother to return the bow, something that earned him a reproving _tsk_.

"Now that the pleasantries are out of the way," the still-grinning shinobi turned to a curvy kunoichi with pink puffs sticking up through the top of her helmet, "Fubuki, take Midore and deal with the brats. Bring the girl while I entertain our guest."

The pink-haired kunoichi sighed mumbling something derogatory about babysitting children even as she jumped clear of her own ice spire.

Naruto ignored the long-haired leader of the trio squaring off against his sensei and the female moving to intercept Ino. While he hoped she would be okay, he was going to have his hands full with the armored wall of moving muscle attempting to mow him down on a flat board shooting across the snow. He had enough time to release his resistance seals and launch a single wind-laced kunai at his opponent before the large man would be upon him, his eyes narrowing as the weapon exploded when it struck an invisible wall of energy half an arm's length from the nin's body. More importantly, as he dodged to one side avoiding the slightly curved front of the board, he noticed his wind chakra get sucked into the shield as the odd fixture on the stomach of the Snow shinobi's armor pulsed briefly.

Perhaps the two events were related?

Spinning to face about, he witnessed the large man lean his body heavily to one side as the board canted, the lower side biting into the white powder heeling him around in a tight arc until he was bearing down once more on Naruto's position.

' _Dodge or meet the challenge head on?'_ He shrugged and launched himself directly at his opponent, feet first. The larger man's eyes bugged out briefly (perhaps he expected the boy to dodge) before a pair of combat boots planted themselves into his chest plate.

Naruto noticed with sick satisfaction that the shield did not prevent him from ejecting the larger shinobi from his rapidly moving ice board, the two rolling to a stop a few meters from one another. The unidentified male sat up slowly shaking away the cobwebs. Naruto simply rose from his crouch and assumed the first stance of his _Tetsuken,_ both hands up guarding either side of his face.

With a roar, the larger man charged with his right foot leading the way. After the first couple of exchanges, Naruto's impression of the man changed and not for the positive.

When they first appeared, Naruto's still growing sensory abilities detected three powerhouse chakra signatures, two of which (the kunoichi and the bulky shinobi he now faced) appeared to be high-level tokujo elites. The male who, other than a few grunts and growls plus had yet to speak a word, fought more like a mid-level Chunin. Other than plunging his fist and feet into the hard-packed snow as Naruto ducked and slipped his haymakers or foot stomps, his style resembled an angry gorilla more than any recognizable village form, none of which posed a serious threat as Naruto slapped a flailing fist sending it careening off balance.

That tap paused the moment making the eyebrows of both combatants rise for the briefest of moments. _So long as he didn't use chakra, Naruto could touch them meaning he could strike them as well!_

A sweeping roundhouse screamed through the chilly air as the larger man pivoted on one bent knee with his hand resting on the snow's surface. Naruto barrel rolled to his right spinning over the thicker limb, his body parallel to the snowy ground as his left foot touched down lightly leaving the barest indent in the white powder. When his right leg completed the graceful arc, he swung it with all his might up and into the chin of his larger opponent just as his opponent completed his own circle with the intent of pummeling the blond bloody with a raised fist.

The foot connected first.

Without chakra, the impact only served to momentarily cross the larger man's eyes and stagger him backward two and a half steps. A large explosion off to the side rocked the iceberg as Asuma continued his battle with the enemy leader, however, the Konoha Genin ignored it as he fought to keep the heat up on his opponent.

Naruto leaped forward flipping his body mid-air, his heel dropping down to crash against the shinobi's crossed forearms driving him to one knee in the snow. With a grunt, the larger man grabbed his ankle and swung the Konoha Genin off to the side and into a snow bank as his left arm shot forward in the Princess's general direction. With an audible click followed by the short burst of a compressed air tank, several yellow threads shot out of the mechanical hand attached to the end of his arm lashing around the Yukie's body only to be slashed apart by Shikamaru's kunai.

"Ino! Switch up and take Princess Gale!" Shikamaru went over as Ino dashed backward to land between Yukie and the burly Snow shinobi who was transitioning to a thundering charge. Shikamaru drove back the angry pinkette with a fireball as Ino set her legs to withstand the rampaging giant. Thankfully the impact never happened as Naruto cannonballed into the larger shinobi knocking him aside and opening up more space between the threat and the Princess.

"We aren't done yet, ugly," he snarled out only to receive an angry grunt from the larger man. Inside Naruto was wondering why he didn't use ninjutsu despite being grateful he didn't have to dodge those hateful ice spikes Shikamaru was melting ruthlessly with flames.

His thoughts were cut short as he heard Asuma-sensei's voice bellow out, "Naruto! EVAC CHARLIE!" and cursed softly. Evacuation Plan Charlie was a full scale, Clone-powered retreat allowing the Sarutobi heir to release a wide-scale [ _Ash Pile Burning_ ] jutsu. If Asuma held true to form, he had just enough time to spam out enough clones to scoop up his teammates, the Princess, and Sandayu as they dashed across the snow and back to the ship.

From the corner of his vision, Naruto saw the bear-like shinobi launch the metal fist of his gauntlet in their direction right before the iceberg thundered under Asuma's assault, the major section of the floating body breaking up into a half dozen smaller fragments.

They were soon joined by a heavily panting Asuma-sensei as they landed on the ship, the three Snow shinobi standing idly on one of the larger fragments as the boat sailed onward to port.

~III~

To say that Naruto was annoyed would be an understatement and the more he listened to the discussion around the table they ate their meals at (when it didn't double for a film plotting board for the director) the more annoyed he became. His ears had to be deceiving him. No one could be that stubborn, could they?

Apparently, Yukie was. She'd ignored Asuma's order for everyone to get back to the boat and, in doing so, not only jeopardized their mission but both her life and Sandayu's life when he refused to leave her. When Sandayu tried to persuade her to run, she flat out refused. When he tried to drag her away, she actively fought him.

Ino said the fire jutsus used during the fight triggered some latent memory from her childhood and a really powerful one at that. Naruto chalked it up to a spoiled princess refusing to do what she was told, and his dislike of the woman only grew from there. It failed to improve once the truth about the Princess's history finally came to light revealing her to be the heiress to the Land of Snow, her true name being Koyuki Kazahana, daughter of Sosetsu Kazahana, assassinated former leader of said nation.

Naruto's team couldn't understand his anger towards the girl thinking the Uzumaki heir might have shared some sympathy given the similarities of their clans and royal status. Alas, his refusal to see her as anything other than spoiled and jaded royalty was beginning to affect his ability to be civil around her. It was a good thing she was laid out in her cabin resting after the short but brutal iceberg battle otherwise the discussion might have taken a decidedly hostile turn for the worse.

"What are we going to do about these enemy shinobi, Asuma-sensei?" Ino's question abruptly redirected the conversation given nothing in their short encounter appeared to stop them for very long. Even Shikamaru couldn't work out how their odd armor functioned but he'd read of something similar in Tetsu no Kuni, the northern home of the Iron Samurai.

"Chakra armor," Sandayu mumbled out catching Asuma's attention. "Oh, pardon me, Sarutobi-san."

Asuma waived off the title. "Just Asuma, Sandayu. We work for you." The older man nodded with a warm smile. "Now tell us what you know about this chakra armor."

Sandayu made the pretense of wiping his lenses clean, a sign Shikamaru took to indicate he was gathering his comments.

"Shinobi Chakra Armor was an adaptation of the late Lord Sosetsu. It was intended to help our militia defend the kingdom and provide a chance to stand up to enemy shinobi. It draws out a person's chakra giving untrained men the ability to use and learn the powerful ice jutsus of Yuki no Kuni. Doto stole them after he murdered Lord Sosetsu and uses them instead to power his hired assassins furthering his own diabolical ends."

"The three we faced today?" Asuma queried.

"Unh, that is correct. When worn by trained shinobi, it empowers their chakra to monstrous levels making their attacks twice as potent. They can even use it to form shields of chakra around their bodies that can absorb energy-based attacks or destroy weapons that use chakra."

Asuma frowned. "We'd better figure something out otherwise they'll succeed next time they try to take her." The several heads nodding glumly snapped towards the door as Koyuki's angry voice interjected into the conversation.

"You should have let them take me." It was spoken without heat or emotion, yet it chilled them all at its callousness. Before anyone could respond, Naruto rose from his chair in one swift motion brushing past her on his way out whispering a heated, "Worthless noble" under his breath. This appeared to provoke a response from the Princess.

"What do you know about the pain of my life?! You couldn't possibly understand!"

The words stopped him in his tracks for a few minutes, the Genin's _KI_ pouring from his body forcing the jaded movie star down to her knees. Only when her legs thumped against the wooden floorboards did he let up and stalk away in a huff.

"You know nothing of pain, Princess."

Somewhere deep inside Amegakure, a chill shot up the spine of a god.

~III~

Despite Princess Koyuki's refusal to be helpful in any meaningful way, the _Northern Paradise_ pulled into harbor offloading the cumbersome movie company. Say what you will about the small country's inability to project power abroad, their efficiency and technology were a sight to behold.

Bundled up inside a waiting caravan of large vehicles using skis to steer and caterpillar tracks to push them through the snow, the entire team made good time up into the higher lands. Glancing out of the reinforced glass panes in their sleeping compartment, Naruto's mind tried to wander even as the Princess' face intruded on his thoughts. He tried to lose himself in the heavy snowfall, the forest of evergreens but to no avail.

Her disgruntled face filled his vision and her words kept echoing in his mind. _'What do you know about the pain of my life?!'_ His frown turned into a snarl as images of angry villagers chasing him through Konoha's streets flashed in his head. His life was filled with pain as far back as he could remember.

 _'You couldn't possibly understand!'_ Akimi's terrified face replaced the angry Princess and he flinched. Turning away from the peaceful scenery of Yuki no Kuni's winter wonderland, his eyes locked onto the concerned face of Ino Yamanaka, her mouth opening to ask if he was okay.

"Don't worry about me, Ino-chan," he interrupted softly, rising to don his winter cloak and climb up to the crawler's roof to reflect alone. He knew she didn't buy it for a minute.

A day later, the caravan halted just outside a large tunnel after climbing higher into the hills. Naruto overheard Sandayu explaining to Asuma-sensei about a hideout just through the tunnel itself and that they expected to reach it by nightfall once shooting wrapped up on the near side. By evening, the snaking train of diesel-powered behemoths began crawling their way through the frozen hole in the earth.

The ever-curious Ino engaged the royal aid in more storytelling, the bespectacled man telling of his country's innovations including the railroad tracks underneath their caravan most likely buried under tons of ice. His story of the great metal monstrosities carrying coal, lumber, and other necessities up towards Kazahana Castle covering vast distances without rest in just one day.

As with all good things, the storytelling came to an end as the trucks shut down just outside the tunnel's western entrance. Makino immediately began shouting directions to the crew hoping to finish the day's shoot schedule so they could hunker down by nightfall with a good meal in their bellies.

It didn't sound so bad until a frantic crewmember ran up yelling about the Princess disappearing.

"Okay, who was watching her this time?" Naruto and Shikamaru both placed a fingertip atop their noses and turned to look at everyone else huddled around Sandayu. With a frustrated huff, Ino blew her bangs out of her eyes as the four Leaf nins jumped off into the trees in search of a runaway Princess that didn't want to be found.

The calm was shattered and, just like that, the chase was on once again. Thankfully, it was a short chase.

Naruto's bijū-enhanced nose picked up her perfume on the other side of the tunnel and just five minutes into the treeline, his face stern as his eyes scanned the heavy foliage. Leading away from his high perch, three sets of prints merged and ran off into the deeper treeline. Only one of them was the heavy prints of a civilian trudging hurriedly through deep snow.

~III~

She couldn't get the laughter out of her head. It was a disgusting sound, the snarling hyena-like cackle from the bellies of two men involved in less than savory events about to do something terrible to an innocent. It was high-pitched, like nails on a chalkboard and it made her skin crawl and her ears bleed.

Koyuki stumbled and the next half dozen steps were a frantic pinwheeling affair where she flailed about through heroic efforts to keep her balance. Their hands were like leeches, always plucking at her limbs and clothes trying to drag her down into their depravity. If she went down now, they'd no doubt make sure she never rose again.

It was clear that the Snow Country shinobi chasing her were _not_ about to let her go free. The lecherous comments about the shape of her legs and backside once the taller one managed to strip her of her warm overcoat made it clear what was on their minds.

" _It's soo cold here! Help us stay warm!"_ The sickening way they cooed after her spurred another burst of energy.

She did not for one moment entertain the thought of them wanting to build a warm fire or shelter for the night. So, she kept running and her pursuers kept hooting and calling out to her as the paced her through the trees.

A heavy kick to her right butt cheek sent her a-tumble into the snowy powder and rolling down a small hill. Even a small shinobi could hit like a bear and she crumbled under the blow. She could feel her hip throb under protest, her leg going numb from the impact. Even before she rolled to a complete stop, greedy hands pulled her up from the cold covering by her hair and sweater slamming her back painfully against a tree trunk, their foul breath assaulting her as grubby hands pawed at her body.

She clamped onto a wrist and tried to force the offending item from her right breast only to receive a backhand for her troubles. Her vision blurred as the air left her mouth only to be replaced by an odd metallic taste, but she couldn't rest or recover before being roughly lifted back up and against the tree.

The offending hands returned and this time something slimy trailed up over the left side of her face. Given the horrific breath that accompanied it she assumed it was a tongue and she tried to struggle, she tried to fight them off. They were too strong.

They were shinobi after all and she was a normal woman untrained in chakra use.

Each held a wrist behind her with one hand while the other hand roamed her chest, her stomach, her legs and everything in between. Whatever they could touch, they groped roughly. She cried out, she tried to kick, she screamed. Another backhand rocked her vision. This time as she was again forced up against the tree, her cries dying out as the tears began to fall, her eyes catching sight of a blond beacon in the rough movements and for once her heart surged.

"Please… help me." The two hyenas cutting open her sweater with kunai revealing a cotton sports bra (for warmth) roared all the louder.

"No one is gonna save you, _princess!_ No one can hear you out here! Yell if it makes you feel better, _hahahahaha!"_

"Please…"

It was barely a whisper, but the blond ball of light moved and suddenly one of the hyenas stopped laughing. It was abrupt and apparently confused the second hyena, the really smelly one. The one that stopped laughing stood up straight, his hands releasing her as they fell to his sides. The confused face staring back at her blinked once, then twice before his head turned to his partner in confusion.

It was after he turned with a pleading look on his face that her still blurred vision noticed the leather wrapped handle sticking out of the side of his neck, the ring at the end of it glinting dully in the fading light of day.

Then darkness consumed her as she felt her body falling…

~III~

The second Snow nin was already in motion as he looked to put distance between himself and the newcomer while frantically retying his sash to keep his pants from falling down. Naruto could see his worried eyes glance to his fallen comrade before flicking out to check the treeline presumably for more of his kind. He was hoping for backup to arrive.

"Feel free to yell if you think it will help," Naruto began in a truly sinister voice. The panicked shinobi's face paled.

"No one will hear you out here."

That did it. Whatever courage remained in his worthless soul bubbled up and the nin took up his kunai for something other than cutting away a woman's clothing. He charged.

Naruto swayed right allowing the first jab to pass over his shoulder harmlessly and buried a fist into the smelly man's gut. He was slow. He was sloppy, perhaps barely a Genin. While his skill level was sufficient for trying to rape civilian women, it was not enough for him to escape justice from the disgusted jinchuuriki.

The snow ningen brought his arm around in a slashing backhand missing badly as Naruto leaned back just enough to let the blade slip by his face. Flipping his blade around to stab straight into the blond's stomach, Naruto's opponent lunged only to have his eyes bulge open once his hand and wrist got caught in the iron grip of the blond stranger.

At first, the bones in his hand started popping and cracking turning panicked anger into outright fear. He started pulling trying to break free. When the bones in his wrist began to crack under the relentless pressure, he began screaming and kicking at the immovable creature making his hand bleed from bone shards rupturing his skin.

A blade, one of his own if the sudden lightening of his thigh holster was to be believed, under his chin stopped all of the pain replacing it with shock.

Naruto's eyes swept over the two deceased shinobi before resting on Koyuki's prone form. His ears registered their stopping hearts as he walked to stand over her prone form, her nearly-exposed chest covered by tattered scraps and fresh snow.

With a heavy sigh, he found her bright pink winter coat and wrapped the Princess up in it before sweeping her up in his arms to resume the trek back the way he came. Deep inside he chuckled at the irony of a princess carry for a real Princess instead focusing on the painful amount of time he'd need to carry her dead weight after her highness' latest adventure. She must have snuck away before they entered the tunnel meaning a long walk back to rejoin the others.

"Troublesome woman," he mumbled out. There were probably more patrol units out searching the mountain for her. Knowing his luck this mountain would be covered in them. He could only hope that they were too far away for them to hear all the screams.

Knowing that Ino described his chakra as "warm" and "soothing," Naruto kept his pace steady and even while cycling his chakra through his upper body. Asuma had expanded their chakra control practices to both minimizing and fluctuating exercises, the latter of which came much easier to the bijū container than the former (he was having difficulty closing the pore-like openings of his tenketsu while stilling the flow of chakra through his body). By the time he'd climbed back to the mountain pass leading through the tunnel, Koyuki's groggy voice began to pester him again with questions he really didn't want to answer.

"Why?"

He tried to ignore her outright.

"Why do you do it?" came the persistent voice growing stronger by the unfortunate minute.

"You're going to have to be more specific, _Princess._ " The inflection of his voice wasn't lost on her even in her exhausted state.

"Why did you come after me? It's been you every time, hasn't it?" She was sounding weak, frail even meaning he needed to get her back to the warmth of her – what did Sandayu call them again? – vehicle? Yeah, that was it. She needed a real place to rest.

"You need to keep your strength. Go back to sleep."

She resisted his efforts to change the subject and ignored his command.

"No!" she croaked out, a hacking cough following immediately after then a brief round of shivering. "I need to know why." There was a long pause as he could feel the heat of her gaze on his cheek.

"Please tell me."

Despite his best efforts, she drew the answer from him. "It's my mission. Nothing more, nothing less." His angry eyes swept down to meet her dumbfounded ones. "No matter how far you run, I'll always come for you so long as it's my mission." He looked up into the dark tunnel and sighed heavily.

"Believe it."

A ripple shot through his body bringing him to an abrupt stop. Turning to look behind them, he stood there for several seconds trying to make sense of what his body was telling him. An enormous chakra source was approaching, bijū-sized if his senses were correct, which would make sense given the huge vibrations his body was detecting in the frozen ground through his enclosed shinobi boots.

Whatever it was, it was enormous and headed their way.

"What is it?" The concern on his face was enough to make her worry, the fog of fatigue and stiffness fading with the rush of fear and adrenaline.

"I don't know but I'm not waiting around to find out." He promptly turned and began running shinobi fashion, Koyuki marveling at the way his body flowed without bouncing across the hard ground.

If he remembered correctly, Sandayu said during their first trip that the tunnel reached just over three-thousand meters in length. He wasn't sure but he was hoping they were nearly halfway through.

A shrill whistle blared behind him and Naruto glanced over his shoulder long enough to see a monstrous construct of lights and iron barreling down on them from the far end of the last curve in the tunnel. He had perhaps a hundred meters on the machine, but it was gobbling up the distance at a frightening rate.

His very sensitive hearing was urging him to pour on more speed. His passenger suddenly felt the need to join in adding her very frightened sense of urgency.

"TRAAAAAAAIN!" Koyuki's voice was frantic, a steady stream of, "We're not going to make it," "It's too fast!" and a bunch of indecipherable screams.

Naruto pulsed his chakra three times dropping his resistance seals and yelled for her to, "Shut up for a minute!" The shocked Princess Koyuki blinked as the blond dug deep and began streaking through the tunnel in a blur, his eyes almost glowing an eerie blue color as his gaze took on a faraway look.

' _Please let us be at least halfway!'_ He could do nothing but lower his head and sprint for all he was worth.

~III~

* * *

 _ **[Justsu Used in This Chapter]**_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Katon: Haisekishō (Fire Release: Ash Pile Burning):** The user spews a stream of chakra-infused gunpowder from their mouth, which surrounds the region. As the gunpowder is composed entirely of ash, it stays in the air around the victim like a cloud, which can be used like a smokescreen. After surrounding the enemy with the ash, the user can ignite it with a flint placed on their teeth beforehand to create a spark, resulting in a violent explosion, burning the enemy. However, this technique requires keen senses to read the air currents, the insight to read the movements of the enemy, the tactical experience to not also enfold one's allies in the flames, and careful attention for the timing of the ignition.

* * *

 _ **Omake: On the Wings of… Like?**_

* * *

Shizuka was feeling like a small child, one that had been caught sneaking biscuits from the tin hidden on the high shelf of the pantry. Her head was bowed, both hands clasped firmly in front of her body as her shoulders slumped with each scathing word from the lips of the man she fiercely claimed would become her future husband. The worst part was that it was all justly deserved, the male's indignation appropriately directed at her once he awoke to find her groggy, mostly-naked body draped over his own with no justifiable explanation of how she'd gotten inside his barricaded apartment let alone in his bed without his knowledge.

Apparently, her subtle attempt to push her rather large assets together in the hopes of derailing his anger was serving to further anger him instead but clasping her hands behind her back wasn't much better. In the end, she used her hands to cover her blushing face.

In all seriousness, Shizuka had planned to be long gone before his four-thirty alarm was supposed to go off and she was still trying to plow through the foggy mush inside of her brain. A quick glance to her left showed the equally bowed head of her gargantuan caretaker who appeared equally stumped at being found out. Things were progressing splendidly after all so why the hiccup tonight?

Shizuka's eyes snapped back to Naruto's angry face once she noticed he'd stopped talking.

"Um… I'm sorry but could you repeat that please?" Her face immediately burned with the heat of her blush. She'd zoned him out at a time when Shizuka needed to be amenable to prevent getting thrown into prison for assault.

The temperature in the cozy living room dropped another five degrees or so.

"Security seals. Break-in. Explain." Each word sounded bit-off as his teeth gnashed together. With a nervous sigh, she walked calmly into the bathroom, closed the tiny window to the outside walkway, then walked outside his front door asking him to lock it after she'd left. Naruto raised an eyebrow in doubt, paused long enough to remind her that Tokiwa would have to stay behind with him, but humored her not only turning the tab on the handle but sliding the deadbolt firmly into place the way he did every night.

Then he waited patiently.

It didn't take long before he heard the sound of metal scraping against the window lock, most likely a senbon jimmying the catch. With his Kyuubi-enhanced hearing, he could just make out the window sliding open as ludicrous as it seemed.

Tiny though Shizuka's waist was, the rest of her body was extremely curvy, much to his approval, and there was no way she could fit through a window barely more than a hand's breadth tall and half an arm's length wide. There was simply no way that-.

His mind short-circuited as a brightly colored bird fluttered quietly out of the bathroom, across his living room, then settled gently onto the doorknob. Its face was made up of alternating black and white patterns, while its undercarriage was a brilliant shade of yellow matching Naruto's crown of spikes. As his eyes slid past its great hooked beak and strong looking claws for such a small bird, his deep blue eyes caught the plumage covering the small bird's crown, neck, back, and wings; the shade of blue matched the colors of his eyes.

With a happy trilling whistle, the small avian dipped its head low enough to grasp the door tab in its beak and twist its little blue crown enough to pop it open with a sharp "click." Jockeying about until it was facing the opposite direction, the bird stretched its neck enough to reach the deadbolt just barely within its reach, flapped its wings furiously, if not briefly, to gain enough altitude, then jerked its head to the side enough to free the deadbolt from the locking chamber. Once the door began to open, it fluttered lightly in place before settling on the Nadeshiko Princess's shoulder with more happy chirps and whistles.

"RAWKK! Baka! Baka! Baka!" Then the bird cackled happily at him.

Naruto's strained smile lasted until he threatened to summon Gamakichi to eat the colorful thief, which caused it to vanish faster than beef barbeque before an Akimichi. He was going to have to rethink his version of seal proofing his apartment.

~III~


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Wow, we've crossed 50,000 views for this little adventure and I'm loving the helpful feedback; it helps make the story grow and, if it grows less frustrating for readers it becomes more enjoyable to share as a writer. Case in point, best review this time goes to **heartfanglives**.

 **Heartfanglives:** You have done an impressive job of cataloguing the different ideas that have crept into this story. To be honest, I knew I have included a lot but didn't think that many were still open.

Case in point, Akimi is officially out of his life. The poor girl was unable to reconcile him being the "demon brat" and her departure, that final look of guilt on her face as he spied her inside Ichiraku's, was their parting shot for lack of a better term (in keeping with the theme of loss for Naruto). Not every relationship in his life will end up happily resolved as it is human nature to be… human. Naruto has accepted, like we all do, that sometimes people just fall out of our lives and there is little we can do about it.

Naruto's personality clones, on the other hand, have been intentionally whittled down over the course of the first seventeen or eighteen chapters, a point I reinforce as he increasingly refers to them in the past-tense. In fact, Naruto makes an excellent summary of his dwindling relationships, to include the disappearing clones, in CH16. I have intentionally reduced their appearance and impact on his life as Inoichi reincorporates his shattered psyche into some semblance of a coherent construct as the story moves on. Perhaps I'll include a parting Omake on the matter before the end, but you never know; they were never meant to be a permanent device (but that doesn't mean someone else couldn't take up that challenge?)

Several of those points in the story aren't closed out yet but will be soon. Ebisu has not been forgotten and neither has the _Root_ would be demon-catchers. They just haven't been dealt with appropriately, not something entirely uncommon as Kakashi took ten years to finally resolve the Land of Snow issue in canon and Naruto has only been a Genin for eight months now. Give him time.

I could talk at length on a great deal of these, but I won't take up a lot of space this time around. I will say that Asuma's relationship with Naruto has been continually maturing over the course of the fic, much like Naruto's relationship with Ino. It's not meant to be an immediate-resolution sort of thing; someone trying to beat you to death takes a bit of a while to get over. I do signal a clear turn to the better once Anko officially requests to return to normal duties in Ch 13, signifying the team has matured to the point she no longer feels a babysitter is needed. Despite her troubled relationship with Naruto, she is a professional through and through and would not have made the request if she felt otherwise.

Last but not least, I've not forgotten the _Falna_ blessings they received from Hestia. They were planned to be forced out in this chapter given the chakra armor of the Snow shinobi but there are reasons why he doesn't rely on the gift. There were some that viewed this as an unnecessary power up but fail to realize what a double-edged sword _Falna_ blessings were/ are. Keep in mind, the strength provided did not measure up to straight chakra users for multiple reasons which I have yet to fully explain. So, while Istoria was not meant to be a permanent part of the story, like many of Naruto's canon adventures, it was planned as a way to help shape the Genin's experiences and help him mature into a capable shinobi (how often did Naruto return to the Land of Demons or go back to fight the Air Kingdom in canon?)

Thank you for being a very attentive reader and I'll make a point of closing out these smaller plots either in the story or as part of opening comments as it progresses. For now, I think we can mark items #1 & 3 off the list.

 **Editor's Note:** Caught an error in a previous chapter (CH 23) when I mis-stated Shika was aligned with _Fūton_ ; he has a _Katon_ affinity for my story, same as in canon.

As always, please let the staff know what you think! Review!

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 25: A Snowball's Chance**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _"TRAAAAAAAIN!" Koyuki's voice was frantic, a steady stream of, "We're not going to make it," "It's too fast!" and a bunch of indecipherable screams._

 _Naruto pulsed his chakra three times dropping his resistance seals and yelled for her to, "Shut up for a minute!" The shocked Princess Koyuki blinked as the blond dug deep and began streaking through the tunnel in a blur, his eyes almost glowing an eerie blue color as his gaze took on a faraway look._

 _'_ _Please let us be at least halfway!'_ _He could do nothing but lower his head and sprint for all he was worth._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Yuki no Kuni, North of the Capital in Some Damnable Tunnel ~**

Koyuki Kazahana was many things. At one time, she was a happy princess to the Lord of the Land of Snow. At another, she'd been a frightened fugitive on the run with a dashing one-eyed brigand. She'd been a struggling actor before reaching the top of her profession. Oh yeah, she had also been (and still was) a cold-hearted hermit afraid of commitment and social ties. She'd at some point lived or embodied all of those roles, oft times embodying several at the same time. That was then and this was now.

Her latest role was as the horrified passenger helplessly bundled up in her own coat because the lowest form of mankind tried to tear her clothes from her body leaving her in a mangled bra. Her current role involved her being carried Princess-style by a young shinobi from a land not her own as he thundered down a set of train tracks drilling through one of the mountains of her home country. Supporting her role's motivation was the white-knuckled grip her hands had on that same shinobi's neck while she screamed uncontrollably in holy terror, her eyes staying locked on the monster train hissing steam not ten paces from his pistoning heels knowing that, if he fell right then, their death would be bloody. It would be gruesome. It would be assured.

The walls streaked by in muted blues and grays, the thick ice hiding details even as it glittered like the night sky from the lights on the trains armor-plated grill. She couldn't see the conductor up above them, but she was sure he could see them, the evil bastard no doubt cackling with glee at the sheer terror etched on her face.

She'd begged with him to surrender. She'd pleaded for release from her fear not three minutes into the chase, but the stubborn youth ignored her. Something about not being ready to just roll over and die just yet but, if she really wanted it, he'd happily toss her from the cliff once they got out of the tunnel and let the train by.

That comment seemed awfully rude at the time striking a chord of rebellion in the strong-willed woman. It irked her enough that she almost struck him, the crappy smirk on his face making her hackles rise for just a moment.

Then the train's whistle obliterated her brief moment of bravado and tore her gaze from the fiercely-concentrating face of her rescuer and back to the metal beast howling for her blood.

That was five minutes ago. Five horribly long and torturous minutes of the incredibly strong body running for both their lives and she'd moved decidedly beyond surrendering. She was urging him to run faster, her arms tugging on the back of his neck as if she could pull them both along to freedom. She would reflect on the impossible feat of outrunning a chakra-powered locomotive later.

She wanted to live first (so she could pummel him later) and that meant they both had to survive first and foremost.

She stopped listening to his mantra-like chant for what seemed like ages ago.

"Come on! Come on! Almost there! Don't stop! Don't fall! Breeeeeeeaaathe!" It was constant. It was steady. It was rhythmic.

His feet were striking the wooden beams hard enough to split them between the rails, but she felt no jolts along her spine while he ran. The wind howled in her ears, her ebony waves of hair fanning out behind them like a flag. He was a machine. A perfect, living, breathing machine.

For a second, she could believe again.

All of the noise vanished as a bright light began to cloud her vision when she looked ahead at what should have been bleak darkness. She was screaming but heard no sound. His mouth was open in a silent snarl as her eyes clamped on to his face, the train too terrifying to stare at any longer. Then the sound returned in a roar as their bodies struck the snow bank and they slid to a stop just outside the cavern.

For several agonizing seconds, as she registered every tense muscle in her body, Koyuki simply laid there in the freezing cold, her body too petrified to move. Her heart was thundering in her ears as she gasped for oxygen, almost as if she'd made the mad dash herself through the tunnel ahead of the hungry beast out to end their lives. Somewhere in the distant recesses of her mind, she registered the fact that snow was inside her coat and melting on her frozen chest, her buds growing rock hard from the cold shock, but that didn't matter. They'd won. _He'd won._

Then she heard it.

It started as a soft chuckle, the laugh of a young male not quite believing that he was still alive and in one piece. The sound grew though, slowly but steadily as realization began to settle in. Soon it was a deep rumbling laugh surging up from the belly and, believe it or not, Koyuki found herself joining in, her own giggle mingling in with the more male sounds of her newfound hero.

He'd succeeded when she'd been ready to pack it in. He defied their fate and, in the process, saved both their lives.

She laughed for the first time in years surrendering to the joy of being alive and a heavy weight began to dislodge itself from her chest. The tears would come later when the faces of her almost-rapists came back to haunt her in her sleep but, for now, she had the armor of her blond stalker, er… bodyguard.

And they were alive. Maybe, on the rare occasion, a snowball could survive in hell.

~III~

 **~ Aboard the Doto Battle Train ~**

"The boy is fast." The taller of two figures standing at the rear of the train looking back towards the tunnel entrance seemed almost impressed. His eyes betrayed very little, the wide face and flat nose as unremarkable as the rest of his hulking figure. Doto knew he was not a handsome man like his brother but that didn't matter to him; to Doto, power was far more attractive than physical looks that faded with time. Power never faded.

"Mizore said the boy was skilled, far stronger physically than he expected." The lavender ponytail from several days before was staring in the same direction, his apathy becoming almost a physical manifestation.

"It's too bad he doesn't bear our gifts," the larger man commented almost smiling in a way that would make small children cry.

"Too bad," lamented Nadare. The arm of Yuki no Kuni's recognized ruler rose from the voluminous cloak covering his body from neck to shins bringing up with it a microphone. His thumb clicked the mic button as his dead smile faded away.

"It's been a long time, Koyuki. It's been ten years in fact. Come now, don't be shy. Let us get a look at that face so we can see how much you've grown."

~III~

At the sound of Doto's deep, gravelly voice, a great unpleasantness washed over Koyuki. Memories of a creepy man watching her with dead eyes made her back itchy in places she could not reach and her skin crawl with a bone-deep chilling sensation. Even as a small girl, _that_ man made her uncomfortable and listening to his voice now made her feel like a tiny girl all over again.

"Doto…" Her voice was hollow but loud enough for Naruto to hear it. Seeing the fear in her eyes reminded him of another terrified child, one with no one to stand up to the Doto's of his life. Suddenly his displeasure at the apathetic woman lying next to him in the snow found a new subject to fasten on to.

Naruto rose to his feet and strode forward just enough to place himself between Koyuki and the smarmy bastard gloating from the back of his fancy train replacing her face with his own. For good measure, he flipped both men on the wooden and metal construct the middle finger, one hand for each bastard.

Doto, safe on his train, was less than impressed.

"Kill the brat, bring me the-." His voice was cut off as something heavy rammed into the side of the train cars, the entire structure rocking on the tracks. A quick glance showed no major damage beyond the door tracks on one of the cars being knocked off its rails by the logs someone sent rolling down the mountain face. No matter.

They still had seven more cars to rain death from.

Looking up along the snow-covered rockface, Naruto and Koyuki saw several dozen men wearing feudal body armor popular ten years or more in the past. Yelling right along with the group of idiots waving swords at the unimpressed Snow ningen was Sandayu. Koyuki's mouth fell open in shock.

Doto turned to his henchman and frowned. "I thought you eliminated all of the insurgents?"

Oddly enough it didn't really sound like a question. Nadare had the decency to look almost embarrassed, however, before he could summon his minions and sally forth, Doto stopped him with a raised palm and that eerie smirk he'd become (in)famous for throughout the Land of Snow.

Nadare shivered knowing full well men were about to die by the score.

From where Koyuki reclined in the snow as strength returned to her shaky limbs, she couldn't quite make out Sandayu's shouting. Whatever nonsense he was spewing out, his squad of back-up actors was buying into it shouting their own encouragement. Her eyes darted between the small mass of men on the hill and the armored train waiting patiently, its release of steam almost like a great beast bored with the meal presented to it by less than enthusiastic caretakers.

She couldn't make out their shouts, but Naruto could. More importantly, he could see them begin to charge pell-mell down the mountainside, their weapons waving above their heads as the meager force of fifty-one charged the juggernaut laced with sharp and pointy shinobi death. The many masked figures climbing onto the roof manning kunai launchers did not bode well for the insurgents.

Naruto then realized that he was too far away to do any good. To make it worse, saving Sandayu meant leaving Koyuki defenseless so he gritted his teeth and willed them to stop charging. _'Run! Hide you fools!'_

The train drove in the final nail to their coffins when the inboard panel sections of the cargo compartments slid open, large panel doors gaping wide to reveal hundreds upon hundreds of launcher slots concealed in the train body. Naruto's heart sunk as he silently screamed for them to turn back. A mythical ideal of their missing princess was not going to save them this time.

~III~

Asuma grinned as his second Genin joined up with him, the trees flying by as they rushed back to the convoy's location. Naruto's triple pulse on their earpieces was a good signal; it meant he'd found the Princess and was returning to the convoy. At least, for now, the mad scramble would end and they could finish up this waste of time looking for the Rebellion's secret base.

Asuma had a weird shiver run down his spine at that thought, a sense of foreboding, but shook it off.

"We need to find a better way to keep track of this crazy lady," Ino cursed out.

"We asked you to stick close to her-." Shikamaru's admonition faded abruptly once she snatched a branch in passing only to release it into his face.

"No one wants to stay close to her, Shika. She's a monster in human skin." While Asuma could not refute the incriminating evidence of her behavior, they still had a job to do.

"Tighten up, you two. Regardless of our personal thoughts on the matter, she's our client and her safety comes first. We don't have time for more of these shenanigans. Until further notice, you're her shadow, Ino. She gets up to go pee in the middle of the night, and, like all girl packs at the club, you go with her."

Ino's irritated grunt was the only response but it would have to do. Until they could cobble together a better plan, this one would have to work.

His thoughts were growing less and less focused the longer this mission dragged along. Not too long ago he discovered the disturbing truth behind their client. Sandayu, for all his well-intentioned feelings, managed to get his Genin team tangled up in a political nightmare, a succession feud among royalty of the same house. This was normally a job for ANBU, or an elite Jounin team at a minimum. It was definitely not a job for a still-green team of yearlings from the academy.

It didn't matter how well-intentioned his motives were. Royalty tended to throw morals straight out the window when it came to holding on to that power. Asuma saw more than enough examples during his stint in the capital of Hi no Kuni. Power was more addictive than any drug, more corruptive than any poison, and those that sampled its sweet ambrosia rarely surrendered its embrace willingly.

Sandayu may have meant well but you could be damned sure Doto shared no similarities of conscience. You can believe that man killed to climb his personal mountain. Rest assured he would kill again to keep it. That's why it was almost prophetic when the three Leaf shinobi crested a rise higher up the mountain to see a monstrous metal construct unleashing a torrent of pointy death upon a motley crew of armored civilians.

"We need to separate that train from any survivors," Shika cursed out, his mind already moving a kilometer a minute.

"What are you thinking, Shika?" Asuma had no trouble deferring to the Genin's brilliant mind as he fired up another cig. He wasn't as good as Naruto off-the-cuff, but he was still fairly dependable.

~III~

It's difficult, Naruto realized, to swear appropriately when you were trying to stay undetected while hauling your body up a wire tied to one of your kunai, a kunai looped around the rear banister of an enemy dirigible flying away with your captured princess onboard. He was still trying to get his head wrapped around how this happened but, for now, his first priority was to get onboard and hide away until he could come up with a plan. He would settle for any plan at the moment as anything would be an upgrade from the mess they'd left behind.

 _Post Insurgent Charge Flashback_

 _The doomed insurgent charge went exactly how he expected it to. Doto's train unleashed hell on the civilian honor guard as their kunai launchers sent hundreds of pointy metal objects through the air and into the soft bodies of the poorly-trained militia. Each man went from charging fanatic to stumbling pincushion inside of ten seconds, Sandayu receiving a final volley for good measure as the last man standing._

 _Then explosions began to rock the train. Naruto's eyes caught a blond blur as Ino launched kunai laced with explosive notes as wooden panels blew off the train in dramatic fashion. He even saw a kunai launcher blow its stack, the manned turret pancaking its human passenger as it flipped over once airborne. Apparently, the foot soldiers and equipment weren't protected by the same chakra-draining technology. This was good information to have._

 _As Doto's forces were about to disembark the train and counter-attack, an explosion further up the mountain unleashed a growing torrent of snow, a large enough section roaring down its face in a landslide. The train surged briefly, chugging away before the snow could bury it fully only to have the entire back half drop into a chasm once the wooden spanner bridge beyond the tunnel blew sky high._

 _The blond Genin pumped a fist enjoying the small taste of revenge as the lumbering behemoth broke in half sending a good portion of it into the ravine below. Whatever it carried inside those cars must have been volatile as sections erupted into gouts of flame setting fire to whatever remained. It was a small measure of justice for the honorable men that died on that mountain. Naruto could only hope that the evil bastard was onboard once it exploded but something in his gut told him not to hope for too much._

 _His gut would be proven right as the movie crew, with the help of Naruto's clones, began to gather the dead._

 _Sandayu's body was a mangled mess, most of his front unrecognizable and bloody. Koyuki recognized him by the tiny ornamental blade he always carried as he'd made a habit of tying her eye drops to the decorative scabbard. You see, despite how accomplished an actress Koyuki was, she'd never mastered crying on command hence the eyedrops she used to simulate tears._

 _Taking up the small blade, Naruto expected her to say a few passing words to honor the man. He expected her to thank him for his years of tireless service. Instead, he listened gob-smacked while she belittled his intelligence chastising the dead fellow for getting her involved in this debacle of a movie._

 _SMACK!_

 _Koyuki was stunned, one palm held to her stinging face as her eyes began to water._

 _Ino, Shikamaru, and Asuma-sensei were all equally stunned as their eyes flickered from Koyuki's shocked face, to Naruto's exposed palm hovering half an arm's length from her rapidly reddening cheek._

 _The director and his entire crew had their jaws wide open, the vast majority staring dumbfounded while the small cadre of gofers and assistants silently pumped their fists in celebration._

" _Is that legal, sensei?" Ino's question was a whispered hiss barely picked by Shikamaru standing not a foot from her._

 _Asuma's head was slowly shaking left to right. He was sure Naruto broke four or five shinobi rules of conduct with that slap. Oddly enough, after all they'd been through, he couldn't bring himself to care enough to intervene._

 _Post Insurgent Charge Flashback – Kai!_

Naruto winced even as he continued to climb the wire connecting him to the large blimp trying to run away with Princess Koyuki hidden somewhere inside. He remembered the betrayed look on her face, the sheer shock in her eyes as she turned and ran towards the line of vehicles that brought the entire movie crew up the mountainside. Of course, he turned to give chase only to pause as the blimp he was now trying to steal away on rose up from the ravine, the large shinobi he fought on the iceberg wrapping her body with a chakra line from his metal gauntlet as the blimp's fans roared their escape.

It was as the pink-haired snow kunoichi launched a handful of weird metal orbs tied to kunai that he leaped off the cliff face and snagged the railing with his own tethered kunai. Several small explosions back on the ground, a series of rapid concussive " _whump_ " noises like air pockets bursting, whipped his head around to an amazing sight; a forest of icy spikes, each spire of ice sporting many jagged branches of ice spears, had sprung up to disable the convoy.

It would appear that he was on his own for now until the others could catch up. It was a good thing they probably knew exactly where he was headed.

He was nearing the railing when he heard a door open followed by a startled gasp. Looking at the underside of the blimp compartment, he was more than five meters or so away from the railing as a pair of hands reached through the bars to begin sawing at the wire with a kunai.

His chakra began to build even as the kunai slipped off the wire with the first yanking motion. His heartbeat thundering in his ears, Naruto focused on the railing and released his burst of energy in one go, his eyes focusing on his goal, his desire even as the kunai severed the thin wire on the second heaving slice.

The faceless shinobi stuck his head over the rail to peer below, at first tentatively then with more courage. He could still see the wire falling to the earth far below and he giggled nervously.

"Yeah, that guy's a goner," the nervous shinobi chuckled out, his eyes still looking for some sign of the falling enemy.

"Serves him right for trying to sneak aboard Doto's convoy." The nameless shinobi agreed with the sudden voice coming from just over his left shoulder.

"Yeah, serves him… wait a minute!" The shinobi spun around eyes wide open in terror as he glimpsed a pair of dark blue eyes and a flash of golden hair. Then everything went black.

~III~

Inside her floating cage, Koyuki Kazahana was anything but comfortable with her current situation. Her uncle, Doto, was standing less than a half dozen paces away monologuing about why he needed to take power from her father, about how the country's coffers were nearly bankrupt, and about how the masses were crying out for him to save them from their destitution.

It was all utter fantasy festering in his fevered brain, stories concocted to justify the regicide of his coup. None of it mattered to her just like his smarmy attempts to win her over with courtesy and his own oozing brand of familial love, the same love she reminded herself ended up with her family dead and her a refugee from her own home.

"…yuki." Her eyes glanced up from the untouched glass of water resting on the coffee table in front of her. Apparently, his monologue had petered out and he was looking to interact verbally with her.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" His annoyed look would have brought her some satisfaction if she weren't hopelessly outnumbered and surrounded. Most likely, she'd be dead as soon as he got what he needed from her so there was little point in humoring the fool.

"I asked if you had the hex crystal?"

She blinked innocently even as she stood to remove the purple trinket from around her neck. "Of course, I do. Is that all you're after?" She didn't care about the Land of Snow. There was nothing here but painful memories, Sandayu's gory death a recent addition to a long list of crappy childhood ones. As far as Koyuki was concerned, he was welcomed to whatever remained.

"Don't you care about why I want it? What I would use this for?" Even Doto was surprised at her unemotional shrug of the shoulders. The girl gave new dimension to the word "apathetic."

"If it saves me listening to some long-winded diatribe, take it and enjoy. I hope you and whatever this unlocks are happy together."

He started cackling gleefully the moment his beefy claw grasped onto the purple crystal, her eyes not catching his empty hand raising to give a signal as she turned to head back to the semi-comfortable couch. She only vaguely noted the abrupt ending of his laughter until his empty hand reached around to spin her back to face him. Suddenly, his gleeful expression now resonated with delirium, his eyes wide and panicked.

"What is this?!" Koyuki blinked in obvious confusion, her eyes darting back and forth from his crazed expression to the chain dangling from his closed fist.

"You think I can't spot a _fake_?!" Here Koyuki felt a sudden rush of disbelief mingling with her growing sense of concern.

"That… that's not…" Realization dawned and along with it came a name. "Asuma!" she hissed out.

Doto's unbridled rage mellowed into mild distrust and speculation. "Explain!"

Koyuki sighed and described the afternoon following their first encounter with his three goons. She'd been out of it, lying in a state of semi-consciousness as the ship sailed on to harbor. She awoke several times to the hazy image of Asuma and her aid, Sandayu, talking in her cabin but their hushed voices sounded heated, angry. At one point, the shinobi entrusted with her safety pointed to the hex crystal laying on the small table of her room, his voice rising as he chastised the smaller civilian for his deception with their contract, at one point snatching up the crystal and waving it angrily in front of the shorter man's face.

It was the only time her necklace had been off her person. Even when she bathed, it stayed next to her skin.

"Never fear, Lord Doto. We can round up the Leaf shinobi for you without trouble," the slimy Nadare cooed. Doto's hand released its hold on Koyuki's jacket as he motioned for his thugs to stand down.

"No. There is no need especially when this Asuma will come to us." His gaze pivoted back to the unhappy face of his niece. "He will come as we hold all of the cards." His hand crushed the glass trinket into powder.

"Make sure our… guest… is comfortable when we arrive."

~III~

Blending in with the many faceless recruits was a simple matter of keeping his mouth shut. With their masks on, no one recognized the other. Most of them grunted and nodded as you were either a peon, a ringleader (one of the few shinobi wearing a tabard-style haori of pale grey over their battle kimono, or you were one of the boss' trusted elites (and there were only three of those).

Most of the time they lurked about waiting to receive orders, each hooded figure afraid to move unless provoked or directed to do so. From his kneeling position near the sleeping quarters, Naruto smiled as he reached under another door panel, this one for a pantry closet, and concentrated just enough to etch a mid-grade explosive seal on the underside of the door. His almost silent whisper of " _Fae Borealus_ " dying quickly in the empty hallway.

If he remembered correctly, that made for twelve such hidden surprises, each molded with a remote trigger set to fifty meters. Looking up from his handiwork, Naruto grinned beneath his cloth mask and slithered off to find another quiet perch to set up more chaos for later.

A small part of him wondered why even bother. He was sure the girl would have blithely given away her father's dream and her nation's future with a shoulder shrug and a frown. There was no fight in her, no urge for self-preservation. If she assumed Doto would let her live peacefully afterward she was… Then it hit him. No, she had to have known he would betray her the very first chance he could. A greedy man like Doto would never let a potential heiress live on. Her threat to his rule would be like a knife always to his throat.

It was an assured death and she'd complained time and time again about being so tired of running. She'd would have given up hoping to die so she could finally rest, the coward's way out, and if he wasn't allowed to just curl up and quit then neither was she.

Naruto supposed his work wasn't done just yet once he got her out of there. Someone needed to slap a little sense into her, and he'd volunteer happily for the job.

He was working his way back down through the engine room mindlessly acknowledging the nods of his fellow faceless ones when the entire blimp shuddered. _'Ah, we must have arrived.'_ Blending in with the flow of ebbing bodies, he melted into the nameless horde flowing into the overly large fortress Doto called home.

Sandayu had called Kazahana Castle an architectural masterpiece before Doto burned it to the ground, something no one would ever confuse this gothic eyesore before him of being. It must have been built to commemorate the new future of the struggling nation, its dark and fortress-like design reminding him of the campy action movies with over-the-top villains. Waving away the all-too-easy "overcompensation" string of jokes, he stepped into the lower levels he'd seen a pair dragging off Koyuki to.

Finding her, once the guards locked her away and _left the dungeon complex_? Inside he frowned at the blatant unprofessionalism before he could correct himself and mentally sweep away his disappointment. Their sloppy unprofessionalism worked in his favor. Besides, every other cell was occupied by a skeleton so it wasn't hard to hear the one heartbeat in the place despite its enormous size.

Doto had carved a large chasm underneath his "modest home" and then lined both sides of the rock walls with cave dugouts. A really simple affair but effective. With the Land of Snow already being inhospitably cold, prisoners normally died of hypothermia within hours, days at most depending on their stamina, chakra use, and clothing. It struck him as odd that the evil bastard hadn't murdered her outright.

' _Something must have gone not according to plan.'_

Seeing as no one was around to question it, he pulled up next to the bars to have a little chat.

"So, I see this happened." She started at the sound of his voice, her head jerking in its direction to see a nameless shinobi with startlingly blue eyes. For a split second, Naruto recognized hope and excitement in her violet-blue eyes right before it died out with her feigned favor of apathy.

"Come to gloat?" she hissed out. "Come to tell the famous movie star 'you told her so'?" He had to resist the urge to reach through the bars and slap her once again, especially with that containment seal plastered over the lock of her cell. Good thing that helpful guard loaned him the key.

"I don't gloat when I'm right. I'd rather let your own conscience kick the snot out of you." She only scowled in return.

"What did you think would happen once you surrendered your birthright?"

"…"

He leaned in with one hand cupping the side of his head. "I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that witty comeback."

She looked down but he couldn't tell if it was in annoyance or disappointment.

"You were hoping he'd send you to be with your father, weren't you?" Her silence said it all, stoking his anger even further.

"Coward." It was guttural, barely more than a snarl in her direction but it was enough to provoke a response; she jumped sluggishly to her feet as blood resumed normal circulation through her legs and spun her around to face him full of righteous anger and vindication.

"What do _you_ know about _my_ pain?! What do you know about trying to live up to the expectations of _thousands of people_? About living up to some hopeless ideal and being the savior of people that don't know the first thing about you?! _I didn't ask for any of this-!"_

"-and it's not fair?" He wasn't yelling like she was, but his acidic voice cut through her tirade fairly effectively. Something in his eyes told her she'd gone a bit too far, but the anger had taken over, swept her away with its flow.

"You think you're the only one with unfair circumstance forced down their throat?" She blanched when his deep blue eyes flashed a midnight purple color for the briefest of moments.

"Imagine if you will, _Princess_ ," he bit the word off like a curse, "being chosen to bear an unbelievable burden on the day of your birth because of your family's bloodline. Imagine, if you will, that the cost of the choice was the lives of your parents, the only people that knew and loved you." Koyuki blinked and the red tinge to her cheeks began to fade a bit. "Now imagine that failure to live up to those expectations would result in the death of over three hundred thousand people, the overwhelming majority of which hate you for the very burden you carry thus ensuring their ungrateful lives, people that have tried repeatedly to assassinate you because they feel that killing you removes the burden from existence."

He shed his borrowed uniform. Chances are he wouldn't need it anyway once he sprung her from her cage. Then he lifted the front of his shirt revealing the mesh armor and his stomach underneath, which forced Koyuki to try to force down a different sort of blush. That effort became much easier when he tensed his stomach and something dark began to take shape over those blessed muscles etched into his core. It looked like a spiral tattoo with waving lines of script radiating out from its center. She knew enough from her roles as an actress to see a seal, a very powerful one at that.

Her eyes shot up to meet his and he could see the question in them.

"My own teammates don't know that I have this, and I plan to keep it that way as long as possible because the moment they know, they'll turn their backs on me. Asuma knows though. All Jounin know but I'm not sure about the Chunin." Koyuki guessed he was talking about shinobi ranks and nodded.

"Surely there is someone there that accepts you despite…" her voice trailed off as she nodded to the fading mark on his rock-hard abs.

"Our Hokage, a ramen stand owner and maybe his daughter, my adopted older sister, and perhaps my sensei. I'm not sure about him." Naruto's brow furled up for a moment as he lowered the hand that now held up five fingers. "I thought he hated me for this when we first met, and we fought the day our team formed. Turns out he was just pissed that he didn't get the legendary Ino-Shikz-Cho formation like he wanted." Koyuki's face twisted up in confusion at his babbling and he waved his hand around in the air to brush it all aside.

"That's not important. My point is, _Princess_ , that you don't get to call dibs on the shittiest life draw award and throw in the towel. We all have our crappy role to play in it and, whether we asked for it or not, people depend on us to live up to that responsibility." He leaned in to scowl at her through the bars. "So, don't expect sympathy from me lady because your life sucks right now."

She scoffed, something between a "pfft!" and a chuckle. _'Well, definitely not the response I was expecting but I think I can work with that.'_

"What keeps you going when all you want to do is lay down and die?" she blurted out. Naruto thought about for half a second before blurting out his response cockily.

"The job satisfaction of kicking entitled pricks like Doto in the ass and setting things right."

It was a simplistic answer to a very complicated political problem, but it resonated with her. Koyuki wasn't sold on the whole, "Riding to the Rescue" story he was pitching but it beat waiting to either freeze or starve to death in this freezer they called her living quarters. Speaking of which…

"Well, that sounds peachy and all but there isn't much I can do about it from inside here." Her hands had risen palms-up to indicate her cushy accommodations.

Naruto promptly ripped the tag from over the keyhole, produced a key ring, fished around until he found the right one, the calmly opened her cell stepping to the side to allow her egress.

"Any other weak ass excuses?" This time she did snort, taking his hand as the two began their hasty exit from the Kazahana dungeons. Maybe she could make Doto a permanent resident once this was all over?

As they were climbing onto the freight elevator that would lift them from the cellblocks, an explosion rocked the castle wall making rubble bounce off the roof of the elevator and fall into the darkness below. Naruto smiled.

"Looks like the cavalry has arrived."

~III~

Nadare Roga's voice was tense, just the barest tightening of his consonants. "The enemy has arrived," he whispered in his otherwise normal drawl, his words punctuated by another explosion.

"Good." Doto seemed unconcerned. "Let them find their way here. Capture the sensei but kill the kids." Nadare's eyebrow gave the smallest twitch, something Doto noticed causing the corners of his mouth to turn up into a smirk.

"But Lord Kazahana, our men-."

"-can be replaced. See to it, Roga." The Snow country elite bowed even as his teeth clenched. Sadist that he was, there was still something to be said about being the mini-Kage of your own shinobi force. These _setbacks_ were becoming all too common with the Lordling's willingness to sacrifice his troops. Didn't he understand the difficulties in pressgang recruiting? Didn't he understand the amount of effort that went into training them to be semi-functional agents?

With a hateful, "As you wish," he backed away dimming the lights in the ridiculously grandiose audience chamber as directed.

~III~

The elevator stopped at its apex, the door sliding open with a pleasant chime – which Naruto considered decidedly odd given the area it serviced. Grasping the taller woman's hand, which produced a heated blush to her cheeks, he surged out of the metal box and promptly dropped the two sentries standing there as they faced the fleeing princess with shock stamped across their faces. A quick flurry of punches, two heavy thuds as their bodies struck the ground, and the two were off to the races once again.

Across an icy bridge span three more Snow shinobi popped up and Naruto slid into his _Tetsuken_ stance, his hands forming fists surrounded by swirling torrents of air. The taller of the three shinobi, the one wearing the tabard of a mid-level underling, threw up his hands to forestall the upcoming brawl and ripped off his mask to reveal Asuma-sensei. Before long his two teammates made their appearance and the happy quartet began a quick round-robin game of catch-up… before another explosion rocked the compound and staggered everyone on the swaying bridge.

"How many bombs did you guys plant?" the blond asked with an odd mix of shock and pride on his face.

"Not enough?" came Shika's prideful smirk.

"Talk later, escape now please!" None of them could deny the royal request as she streaked past them into the tunnels and stairways leading up and out of the dungeons, their escape soundtracked to the booming percussions of chain-linked military-grade explosives.

Naruto took point while Koyuki steered with a quick "Left!" or "Right!" When needed they ascended behind a timely "Stairs!" It was efficient flight interrupted only by the quick pops of fists striking bodies when Snow shinobi tried to arrest their progress.

Asuma had to admit his point man was living up to the hype as he juggernauted his way through underling after underling without breaking stride, often times incorporating seal-less clones into the mix so they could keep moving while his copies cleaned up the riffraff.

' _ **You're going to have to face them again, you realize that, don't you?'**_ Naruto nearly face-faulted at the nearly-forgotten voice of his resident hate monger.

' _As I live and breathe,'_ Naruto almost smiled as he slid underneath a surprised Snow nin sending an elbow into the poor kunoichi's midsection, her softer body folding in half as her arms draped over his back. Ino _tsked_ loudly as she pushed the gasping woman off of him muttering something about her boobs being bigger if he wanted something soft pressed against his back. Koyuki blushed at the blatant foreplay from the gorgeous Leaf kunoichi, her own eyes sizing up the younger girl and finding something decidedly unpleasant floating through her heart.

Choosing flight over a discussion, Naruto resumed their fast-paced run trying to listen to the Kyuubi while ignoring its perverted snickering. Turns out the large fox took after the Icha Icha author and enjoyed spying on his interactions with Ino to his disturbing realization.

' _Yeah, I get what you mean but they can use chakra while we can't. That kinda makes it tough to work through.'_ The bijū's disgusted snort heated his face with annoyance. It was bad enough the creature was centuries older than him, but it often made him feel like the ignorant child without seeming to half try.

' _ **Must I think of everything?'**_ Whatever the ancient being was hinting at wasn't sinking in and he could literally hear its furry paw slapping its muzzle in frustration. _**'Have you forgotten Hestia's gifts already? You truly are a dumb monkey parading around in human skin.'**_

Naruto blinked in shock. _'Didn't you say that it wasn't truly whatever magical nonsense she said it was but Nature chakra manipulation managed by that Falna seal she placed on me?'_ He could feel the Kyuubi's large head nod from inside its den. He remembered the great monster taking great pleasure in dragging its host back into the mindscape so he could tear down the mana theory using his own seal to illustrate the tie into it. _'But won't their armor just absorb it like it does ours?_

' _ **Do they not teach you monkeys anything in that miserable place you call a school? Nature chakra is not like the internally-generated mess you humans generate, feeble and ineffectual as it is. Most meat sacks cannot even sense nature chakra unless they've undergone Senjutsu training – DON'T ASK ME, TALK TO THE STUPID LIZARDS YOU RENTED OUT MY HOME TO!'**_ Kurama could feel his mouth opening to interrupt the conversation and really didn't want to deal with the whole, "Senjutsu is awesome" conversation that it would have derailed into. _**'One of two things should happen. Their suit will either absorb it because it's pre-mixed with your chakra through the Falna seal thus turning them to stone, or it will bypass their absorption field and reach the ningen within. Either way, I believe you would call this a win-win.'**_

Message delivered, the ancient being curled in on itself and prepared to doze off again.

' _Kyuubi, I could kiss you!'_

' _ **Try it and I'll rip your penis off. I can live with the pain until it grows back especially since I do not have one.'**_ Naruto did stumble this time as two sudden realizations struck him. One, could he regrow missing… items? And two, Kyuubi wasn't male? What the-!

"Naruto!" His head snapped back to Ino for a moment. "Focus scatterbrain!" He blushed not having realized they come all-stop in a series of carpeted hallways while he had his soul-bearing conversation with his tenant. They must have reached the upper levels and he never realized it running purely on auto-pilot.

"Sorry." Like a shot and with the prodding of Koyuki's outstretched arm pointing down a hallway to the right, they sped off once again.

Mid-flight the five of them slid to a stop as blinding lights flooded a large chamber they were passing through supposedly on their way to the exit.

"Welcome." The voice was by now familiar to Naruto as he straightened up to glare at the pompous ass adorning the throne. By now they were all accustomed to the earth rumbling explosions slowly tearing the ostentatious castle to the ground.

"I'll be sure to bill Konoha for the damage you lot have inflicted upon my poor nation. I was thinking of adding a summer castle in the highlands after this anyway." Asuma took the time to scoff while lighting a fresh cigarette, his fingers deftly slipping a piece of flint between his teeth.

"You're going to have to be alive to collect on that debt, Doto Kazahana." The bulky man frowned even as his three goons appeared at the bottom of the throne's unbelievably high dais. Shikamaru's face scrunched up in surrender at the number of unnecessary stairs leading up to the man's throne.

"Kill them. Bring me the crystal. I do not care in which order you do so." Doto rose and began slowly descending the stairway as his three strongest henchmen closed the distance on Konoha's Team Ten.

Naruto stepped forward and raised his arms into the first stance, his smirk growing as he placed himself between the larger of the three and his team. Off to his left, Ino squared off against the pink-haired kunoichi and his sensei stared down Nagare to the right.

"[ _Ifrit Salamander_ ]," he hissed out, his words raising a circular eyebrow on the face of his larger opponent. It started as a bubbling heat in his stomach that flashed through his chest, his legs, then his arms. The air started to heat up and mist around him, the tiles at his feet beginning to scorch and bubble. With the popping sound of flint being struck, the very air around his body burst into flame, his whole body cloaking itself in a fiery sheath as waves of heat radiated out from his frame.

The flames were a cherry red, their weakest level since he rarely practiced with this gift. Naruto knew it was dangerous as, at the moment, he couldn't use any of his _Falna_ "blessings" beyond fifteen minutes without going _mind down_ as Hestia had put it. She'd calmly stated that lots of use and practice would strengthen his gifts, but they recharged painfully slowly, and he couldn't risk being helpless in a village that would most likely slit his throat while he was unconscious and helpless. No, he'd need a training ground absolutely safe from the people of his own village hence the fact that he often forgot about this gift from Istoria's resident Goddess of the Hearth.

He really, really hoped Kyuubi was right about this as his power finished cycling up coating his vision in a reddish haze of flames and heat, his voice finishing the chant with, [ _Burning Wrath of the Apocalypse_ ].

~III~

* * *

 _ **[Justsu Used in This Chapter]**_

* * *

 **[B-Rank Equivalent]** **Fae Borealus** – Originally labeled as a magic-based ability granted to Naruto when he received Hestia's _Falna_ blessing; Endows the caster with the ability to inscribe normal and magical runes into corporeal objects (only) through use of mana.

 **[C to A Ranked based on proficiency] Ifrit Salamander: Burning Wrath of the Apocalypse** – Originally labeled as a magic-based ability granted to Naruto when he received Hestia's _Falna_ blessing; Self-Immolating flames providing complete immunity to natural and magical flames below draconic strength (reduced effectiveness); Monstrous levels of combustion and absorption through direct contact; Branching point for mastering additional forms of fire magic. For jutsu purposes, it grants immunity to Katon jutsus below A-Rank when fully mastered. At Naruto's current level, he can shrug off D-Ranked and below Katon techniques without adverse effect. Trying to absorb a stronger jutsu would drain his _Falna_ reserves and result in either a _Mind Down_ state or death.

~III~


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Here we are with the next chapter and the conclusion of the Land of Snow Arc. Next update will have our heroes back in Konoha where they belong and in the final stretch leading up to the Chunin Exams. First, some catch up ADMIN:

Item #2 from what I'm calling, "The List," addresses Naruto's desire to join ANBU. That still remains and he's about to get his initiation, for lack of a better word, in the very near future. Remember, Konoha is busy trying to prepare for a supposed invasion and that usually means a very involved ANBU force. Perhaps they'll be able to kill multiple birds with that very large stone (I see two on that list that were planned to be a part of the upcoming arc at least). In any event, prepare yourselves for a noted increase in ANBU-like activity.

#12 (The Stingers) was an idea spawned while researching blacksmithing as part of my first story _Nature of the Beast_ that never got used. Once it was implemented in this story to supplement Naruto's income (a means to raise money for an unspecified financial need), it pretty much grew a life of its own. Other than Higurashi's catching up with demand, it might see spurious use in the story but it is not meant to be a large-impact prop.

 **Alyr Lin** , and several others actually, have asked about Naruto's reluctance to get too close to Shizuka and the other girls that have shown an interest in him this fic. It's not that he's not personally interested but I hope to shed some light on why he's hesitant and not against the idea. I think if Shizuka had used a different tact right off the bat, she might have had greater success at the outset. Naruto's growing relationship with Ino has been the product of a steady courting and wooing process leading to the build-up of a strong, survivable relationship with just the right amount of… physical tension. Love, like the relationship it grows from, takes work and a strong one requires time to simmer and develop. This isn't a story where my Naruto jumps in the sack with every woman right off the bat. Even the crap he went through in Istoria stemmed from his pain of a shattered heart and there is regret there to be sure.

As before, enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 26: Butterfly Wings and Bijuu Kisses**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More**

 _Mizore wasn't much for ninjutsu not that he could use it with his mechanical left hand. Never had much use for it really. When he signed on with Nadare nearly fifteen years before, his family had all but disowned him leaving him with few choices in the world._

 _He'd always been big, bigger than anyone else in his family, much too big for the sword. Tou-san was a swordsman. His tou-san was a swordsman and so on back ten generations. Mizore couldn't help that his hands were too big to hold them properly, that he was too big to move correctly with one or learn the stances. It didn't help that his younger brother, Masaru, excelled at everything the larger boy failed in._

 _Their father actually congratulated the younger sibling for mauling Mizore's hand in a training spar boldly stating that Mizore could finally take up the relaxing life as a plow hand since his massive size and strength were good for little else. Such a monstrous blow to the ego of a young boy should be punishable by public flogging but, alas, Mizore existed in a world filled with feudal laws and sycophantic bastards. Instead, he learned to hate and resent burying both deep inside._

 _Oh, the hatred that grew inside him that day. For years it festered until Nadare found him. Nadare helped him and led him to Lord Doto, the same Lord Doto that replaced his hand with one strong enough to keep up with his strength. The armor helped also as it made him even stronger. It made him faster._

 _It made him fast enough that two years later Mizore returned to his ancestral home in the southern hills of Snow and happily crushed the skulls of his entire family with it. He knew his strength. He reveled in it just like he knew exactly what his armor was capable of._

 _He'd killed repeatedly since then for Nadare and his new Lord and it looks like he'd get the chance to kill again today as he smirked at the lean youth rippling with flames. He'd enjoy crushing the boy's skull just as soon as his armor sucked the flame-flavored chakra from his body._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Yuki no Kuni, Kazahana Keep ~**

Naruto knew he'd only get one chance at surprising the Snow nin, so he had to make it count. Squaring off against the bear-like man, he slid his left foot forward just enough to get a good step-off with his front leg then charged. His opponent surged to meet him, the mechanical glove clamping down around his own flaming fist. Once they locked limbs and Naruto felt that familiar tug on his flaming energy, he helped it along by pushing the flow into the vice-like metal claw. The ningen's armor did the rest.

It was like his soul was being sucked from his body, the air nearly leaving his lungs right along with it. Despite the flames still flickering around his form, Naruto felt cold and tingly all over. When his legs buckled dropping him to one knee his flames dimmed and the lighting in the large chamber seemed to dip along with it.

The big Snow ningen chuckled. "I'm not going to drain you completely dry. I want you awake when I crush your skull."

"Naruto!" Ino's scream seemed both scared and incredulous at the same time. "You have to get away or the drain will kill you!" She was aware of the risks concerning Hestia's blessing and her eyes were locked onto his flaming body where several patches of which were beginning to smolder and flicker out.

"Not… yet…" the blond groaned out making her jaw drop all the more, his eyes focused the entire time on the odd device on the Snow nin's chest. The white and blue halves of a bifurcated Yin-Yang symbol were spinning rapidly once they clenched hands, the speed beginning to slow as the colors dulled to a grey-like stone.

By now, Mizore was ecstatic as his metal claw tried to clamp down harder only to freeze place with a stone-like scraping sound. Confused, the larger male glanced to the shiny gray gauntlet on his left arm to see it dulled and pitted, something definitely out of the norm. By the time his instincts were screaming at him to jump away, it was too late. His left leg didn't want to move or bend, and he was having considerable trouble moving the entire left side of his body for some odd reason.

When the draw on Naruto's chakra stopped and he could stand despite the heavy gasping for oxygen, his opponent had become a heavy garden statue. Naruto released his flames with a fluttering burst of air, surged his chakra to break his right hand free of Mizore's grip (shattering the once metal glove in the process), then smashed a fist into the larger man's face shattering his head into a thousand pieces.

The pink-haired kunoichi opened her mouth to roar her anger but the ceiling of Doto's audience chamber beat her to it. It collapsed with the next mighty explosion, the rubble thundering around them as shinobi scattered in all directions. The room shook, debris fell, and dust filled the chamber clouding eyes and filling lungs.

"By the numbers!" Asuma's voice was hard, militant. He knew that, in a panicked situation, routine was often the fastest way to get people back on track.

"One!" Shika coughed out followed by a terse, "…troublesome."

"Two!" Naruto's heart beat just a little faster at Ino's high-pitched squeaking cough.

"Three!" hacked out a raspy-sounding Naruto not half a second later.

"…"

Even if she didn't know the protocol, Naruto wanted to hear Koyuki's voice say something. Anything. Instead, he had to listen to Doto's voice receding in a direction that made little sense, so he looked upwards and frowned.

"Fubuki! Meet me at the glacier!" Looking upwards in surprise and annoyance, the blond witnessed the slimy geezer lifting into the air with Koyuki tucked firmly under one arm, her fists beating futilely against his meaty thighs. The man's bulky cloak was gone replaced by a sleek set of chakra armor unlike the basic sets sported by his three (now two) cronies.

Shikamaru tensed thinking the angry kunoichi might actually disobey the retreating leader. Her teeth clenched and her legs flexed only to get swept up by the cursing Nadare, the older shinobi shoving her in the direction of a side door with a muttered threat to motivate her. With a resounding crash, the pony-tailed shinobi had just enough time to deflect Asuma's sandaled heel before bounding off the nearest refuse pile and through a rupture in the chamber wall, the bearded Leaf nin in hot pursuit.

"Can you-," Naruto began only to get cut off by Shikamaru.

"Go after the Princess! We'll deal with the kunoichi." Even as Ino and Shika streaked off after her fluttering pigtails, he hadn't quite figured out a way around her chakra armor.

' _This is so troublesome!'_

~III~

 **~ Office of the Hokage, Konohagakure no Sato ~**

A swirl of wind announced his arrival, the lean figure sporting a standard ANBU jumper beneath the grey flak vest. With his head bowed and body kneeling before the desk of his superior, he waited patiently to be acknowledged not wanting to disturb the village leader during his favorite pastime.

"Thank you for responding so quickly, _Tora_."

The kneeling figure thumped a gloved forearm to across his chest so that a fist struck over his heart, the forearm plating contrasting with the elbow-length gloves. "As you command, Hokage-sama."

" _Tora_ , I am going to need to you revive your Tenzo role as a mentor once again." While the orange and black-striped facemask was emotionless, Hiruzen noticed the barest flicker of the man's body.

"And the subject, Hokage-sama?" _Tora's_ voice was calm and seemingly unaffected but the Sandaime knew otherwise.

"Naruto Uzumaki, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki." This time the figure did tense visibly.

"If I may be so bold, what is my expected role with the vessel?" Hiruzen deliberately took his time restoking his pipe before he answered, the moments seeming to drag by.

"Jiraiya of the Sannin will fill the head instructor role. You are supplemental, mostly damage control should the boy lose control." The old man noticed that his agent's shoulders did not relax.

"Hokage-sama, is it… _advisable_ … to train with _that_ so soon?" His veiled reference wasn't lost on the Sandaime. Everyone remembered the incident when the emotionally-strung orphan unleashed the bijuu on a serial killer in the slums. The unstable villain, unable to cope with the domineering female figures in his life, had taken to carving up prostitutes, one of which had been very close to the boy. His rage, and the hateful chakra unleashed from that small alley, smothered the entire village and sparked fear-charged riots for weeks on end resulting in panicked calls for his death. _Tora's_ unique ability had been critical in subduing the child and, even then, it was a hard-fought battle when the small boy was a relatively harmless Academy student.

What happened if the boy lost control now? Would _Tora_ be strong enough to contain him until he could be restrained… or worse?

"Jiraiya has sworn to take it slow with the training, but I would feel safer if you were a part of it." The quiet nin bowed his head once. "His team should be returning from a mission in the next week or so. Please use that time to prepare yourself."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!" With another flourish of wind and leaves, Hiruzen's office was vacant once more but he couldn't quite enjoy it as he fought back the strongest case of _déjà vu_ he'd experienced in a very long time. Settling into his trusted pipe, he settled for glaring hatefully at the ever-expanding stack of paperwork weighing down one side of his desk willing it to spontaneously combust with zero success.

~III~

 **~ Yuki no Kuni ~**

They were flying through the darkened hallways trying to keep the pink blur in sight. The audience chamber collapsed completely as Shika and Ino dashed after the Snow kunoichi, the lighting throughout their current level must have failed when the roof caved in. Shika's eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on the odd disc mounted to the back of her uniform, the white and blue spiral bifurcated with an S-shaped line, as it hummed with power. He was so focused on keeping her in their sights, his ears nearly missed her hostile voice barking out a jutsu in their faces.

[ _Swallow Snow Storm!_ ] Leaping into the air mid-stride, she pirouetted with her right hand slightly trailing. Shika didn't bother dodging what sounded like hundreds of projectiles slicing through the air. Anything ice related in the narrow corridor meant nowhere to run, his own seals flying the moment he heard her voice carrying down the passageway.

[ _Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu!_ ] Two fingers pressed to his lips, Shikamaru inhaled as much air as he could hold then blew for all his was worth, the heat of his chakra converting to an almost uncomfortable burning sensation in his chest as the hallway before them burst into a column of flame. With the writhing serpent of fire crackling and popping as the oxygen it scavenged surrendered with a roar, he couldn't hear the ice projectiles melting with a hiss, the forty or so sharp-edged blades shaped like swallows converting directly to steam with the heat of his attack.

Once the flames died down, both Leaf nin took stock of what was left. Anything combustible hanging from the walls was aflame providing some light. Too bad their opponent never slowed down her pace as the hazy air showed an empty hallway splitting into three more directions. Hell, she could have ducked out of any one of a dozen shattered windows to the ground not twenty feet below them. Further pursuit would have been pointless.

"Damn it!" Ino swore under her breath.

"Come on, let's hope Asuma-sensei had better luck with his opponent." Shika turned back rather than spend the next hour or so hunting down a fleeing enemy as the castle crumbled around their ears. Despite the seriousness of the situation, a waste of effort was just too troublesome to contemplate at the moment.

~III~

"You really should have left when you had the chance." Nadare seemed relaxed, confident even. His body language as he faced off against the chain-smoking shinobi was that of a man expecting things to go his way giving his opponent all the time in the world to collect his final thoughts.

Most of his weight was on his back leg, the right one, with the same hand resting comfortably on his hips. The left hand hung idly down by his thigh as the wind casually blew the loose strands of hair from his face. Asuma almost thought he might be trying to take after Jiraiya of the Sannin with the lavender-tinted kabuki tears trailing partially down his cheeks.

If nothing else, the man's attire was color coordinated so he'd look good once they buried him.

Asuma calmly lit another cigarette taking a deep draw to fill his lungs.

"Take your time. I want you to enjoy your final smoke," drawled out Nadare's condescending comment. Asuma, just as calmly as he filled his lungs, languidly exhaled a winding gust of rancid smoke into the air.

"You're too kind." On the third drag, he slipped his favorite piece of tinder between his teeth and took a lasting glance at the former Kazahana Keep, its entire eastern wing now aflame and crumbling to the earth with a crash.

"Really was an eyesore given how gorgeous the countryside is," Nadare clucked out between his gnashed teeth. Asuma flicked his eyes over to see his opponent taking in the same sights, the clear disapproval registering in his face and tone of voice.

' _Hnh, I guess the grass isn't always greener, is it?'_ Dropping his now finished stick into the fresh powder at his feet, he stretched his arms with a pop and nodded to the patient shinobi turning back to face him.

"Ready then are we?" Nadare seemed almost amused.

Asuma merely shrugged. "Ready or not, you've been more than fair." With a quick grunt, he launched himself at the lavender mercenary leading with a left straight for a feint as his knee rose up to meet the ducking ponytail. Nadare countered by palming the knee inward and away from his face before rising to counter with a left of his own from point-blank range.

Asuma obliged him by borrowing a move from his student; he ducked under the swing and struck the top of Nadare's leading knee with a right fist catching the man by surprise given the sharp intake of air. As Nadare's body lurched, Asuma caught him with a left uppercut crossing the man's eyes momentarily as he stalked him.

Unlike Naruto at the time of their "introductory training session," Asuma was a seasoned professional understanding full well not to let up on an opponent when you had the upper hand. His right leg shot out of the snow, the sole of his boot rocketing towards Nadare's exposed mid-section only for his body to explode in a shower of ice and snow.

' _Tsk, Kawarimi'_ he muttered internally. It seemed as if the old boy wasn't completely rusty after all.

[ _Piercing Dragon Fierce Tiger!_ ] Asuma never knew that ice could roar like that as the column of bitter jutsu descended from the heavens erupting as it struck the earth where the tanned nin once stood. Nadare thrust his hands into the air victoriously with a rousing, "YESSSS!" It didn't even bother him that a small snowstorm had begun. He'd won! He'd bested an elite from another village and, once the rumbling of the higher elevation settled down from the concussive force of his jutsu, he'd go claim his trophy and see about getting his bingo notation updated, maybe even upgraded from a "B" to an "A" ranking.

"Ugh! All of this industrialization is ruining our pristine snowfalls," he groused as his hand swept the dark tinted snow away from his face. _'Wait, since when is snow… laced with ash?'_

Then his world exploded with heat, the sky going white with light and orange fire.

Asuma stepped out from behind his tree perch and lit another cigarette, his head shaking from side to side as he observed the ruined and staggering mess that was once Nadare Roga. Each of the Snow nin had the same spiral pinwheel on their uniforms, his being on his left shoulder. Asuma surmised it was the secret to the armor that allowed them to create Hyōton techniques despite not being part of the Yuki Clan. In Nadare's case, his had ruptured during the explosion leaving a trail of smoke in his wake.

Maybe the armor could absorb only so much chakra at once? It sure looked that way as Nadare's armor was in tatters, his happuri headpiece hanging on only by shredded strands. The man's ears were trailing blood down both sides of his neck, his face and most other exposed areas of skin showing second and third-degree burns. His armor showed more scorched and melted areas than that soothing shade of lavender he favored, and what little hair that remained on his head was still burning like a candle wick.

Asuma didn't usually get to see the results of his favorite crowd-control jutsu as it more often than not incinerated human remains leaving nothing but more ash. He almost felt sorry for the man as Nadare collapsed to his knees in shock believing most of the man's nerves had been scorched out in the heat. Still, feeling charitable, Asuma blurred once stopping just behind the kneeling man having passed just in front of him.

A second later, Nadare Roga fell forward face-first into the snow as it hungrily absorbed what remained of his life's blood. The man who would be a Kage passing away with no one to protect or to mourn him.

Asuma looked up into the eyes of his returning Genin. "Let's hurry. We need to catch up to Naruto before he does something reckless."

As Ino was still in shock, Shikamaru broke the tension with a snort. "C'mon, sensei. When is Naruto never reckless?"

~III~

Naruto sneezed as he flew through the treeline resisting the urge to punch Shikamaru in the nose. He couldn't move as fast as the flying Doto but the man was heading in a straight line somewhere north, so it wasn't hard to tree hop in the same direction. Molding chakra as he traveled, he could feel the residual trail of artificial Hyoton residue left by the man's armor.

It was sterile, almost clinical in texture like his hateful times in Konoha General. To a growing sensor like the Uzumaki, it was a beacon a blind man could follow.

At some point, he glanced below to see the movie director Makino trudging along on a motorized sled with one of his movie crews. The other had taken up shop at the keep making the blond chuckle at the man's devotion to his craft. If he caught half of what was going on in the country tonight, it would become a blockbuster.

' _Hunh, I wonder if we will get royalties if he keeps us in the film?'_ Those thoughts kept him preoccupied until the trees thinned out and he found himself breaking the treeline and cresting the ridge of a large frozen plateau. Landing at the edge of it, he looked up to see six giant obelisks rectangular in shape and covered in thick layers of ice. Rough trails of (glowing) jagged ice led from the base of each structure towards the center of the plateau where a small pagoda sat, his eyes grew enormous as he sees a familiar pink coat and its owner kneeling not far from the small dome-like structure in the middle.

Her head was down, and she was flinching uncontrollably at the enraged man waving his arms in the air berating her about the secret Kazahana treasure and asking petulantly what he was supposed to do with a worthless heat generator. Whatever sanity he'd maintained over the last ten years must have clearly fled his mind at the moment. He'd need to put an end to this before he took his rage out on the defenseless woman and injured, or worse, killed her. When the itinerate fool raised a fist towards her, it forced his hand throwing any stealth options right out the proverbial window.

"DOTO!" Naruto nearly sighed when the man's arm stayed its downward path and instead his head swiveled around to focus on him.

"Stop picking on helpless civilians and face someone your own size," he growled out. The larger man turned his body to face him, his hands clenching into ham-sized fists.

"With. Pleasure." Naruto's eyebrow raised appreciatively as the ruler began rolling through hand seals in a passably proficient manner, his mind recognizing someone not overly used to employing them.

' _He must have studied once he got the suit. Doesn't matter so long as he's focused on me and not her.'_ Naruto surged forward, snow kicking up in a seven-meter rooster tail as he sprinted across the snow bed. The boy was roughly one hundred meters away.

[ _Twin Dragon Blizzard!_ ] Doto's arm shot forward, a swirling mass of shadow pouring from his hand snaking its way across the snow. At the tip of the blast, a maw opened showing jagged teeth of inky blackness in a muzzle-like face, a pair of angry red orbs bursting from its shadowy form as it screamed towards the closing Genin. Doto's smile became nearly possessed as the earth in front of the charging fool erupted sending snow and icy water two stories into the sky.

His smile faded as he saw two blond shinobi parting around the eruption promptly resuming their charge. They were roughly seventy-five meters away now and he was growing slightly concerned so he let loose with another volley.

Instead of seeing pink mist as he was familiar with in Nadare's staged training sessions (using purported rebels as target practice), Doto now saw ten blonds charging him. Worse still they'd covered almost half the distance now and his eyes were growing substantially bigger as that old familiar feeling began to creep up his spine.

Cowardice.

Doto was a bully not because he initially craved power but because he never had any. His older brother, Sosetsu, was the favorite. He was the smart one that excelled in the sciences while Doto made do with whatever he could. He wasn't even particularly gifted when it came to physical training it was just that he could never match his brother's scientific advancements and that was how Snow Country traded with the world.

So Doto found a way to leverage his size and strengths to his advantages. He made it through school forcing those weaker than him (but smarter) to do his work for him. He surrounded himself with toughs and, when his reputation grew bringing about its own challenges of leadership, he surrounded himself with stronger toughs to help sweep away those challenges until he couldn't just sweep them under the rug without substantial help.

That introduced him to the world of the shinobi and his three greatest acquisitions: Nadare Roga's Cell.

They made the impossible, possible. The gave him a crown. They gave him the power to carve his own path and it only cost him his entire family. A small price to pay really.

It was unfortunate that such security bred its own paranoia. People at the top that got there by graft, deception, and murder often see those same threats in every corner. Nadare tried to soothe him by teaching him but Doto's own inadequacies only worsened with age. They tried to circumvent that natural process through his own chakra armor but Doto loathed physical labor in all its forms.

He was abysmal at taijutsu. Of all the ninjutsu now available to him through his beloved armor, he'd mastered only two, both versions of the same jutsu he was now using to try and obliterate a certain blond upstart with and failing miserably. _Genjutsu_? He was pretty sure he slept during that talk with Nadare and you can forget _shurikenjutsu_ and _bukijutsu_. Anything more demanding that a straight punch was work and Doto was deathly allergic to the word.

He was beginning to regret his lazy habits at the moment. It was his youth come back to haunt him all over again. With a roar, he stumbled through the only other set of hand seals he knew, the delicate sensors placed in the forearm bracers of his armor translating those brain impulses and muscle movements into pre-programmed hand seals designed to mold lethal chakra for the lazy lord. The end result was two of those same screeching dragons of icy, inky blackness shooting out at forty-five-degree angles from his body hoping to converge on at least one of the many blond streaks headed his way. The resulting explosion packed enough concussive power to blow the larger man's hair away from his face revealing his desperately wide eyes searching for some glimmer of success. He had to have hit something. Anything!

When twenty of those cursed blonds came streaming out of the black cloud of smoke and began converging on his position, he lost all composure, surged as much chakra into the right arm of his armor, and plunged his fist into the snow at his feet. The force of the blow punched through four feet of ice rupturing the ground out in front of him in a cone.

It did nothing to stop the boy as he, and his clones, leapt over the chunks of ice closing the remaining distance in an uncomfortable blink. Then the pain began as the punches rained down on the larger man's body.

He'd seen what happened to Mizore and a greater fear of being turned to stone then shattered prevented him from drawing on the Leaf nin's chakra. Instead, he pushed all of what he had stored up into a shield which, remarkably, began to disrupt the clones as they struck out at him bursting six of them before reality could sink in.

Doto chuckled despite the bloody lip and closed right eye.

"So, your strength against mine then," Naruto casually stated as his right hand shot out palm up, chakra beginning to swirl into a solid sphere of whirling blue energy. Doto's eyes, well, one eye anyway, bulged at the power growing in the boy's hands as he braced his feet, curled his hands into fists at his sides, gritted his teeth to set his jaw, and pushed for all he was worth.

"Idiot," Naruto guffawed as his [ _Rasengan!_ ] solidified, grew from a gentle blue to a vibrant white orb of power pulling in streams of light reflecting multiple hues in the increasingly bright light from the obelisks, then growled like a hungry beast looking for a meal.

Koyuki blinked before her mind registered real-life rainbow chakra swirling in the palm of her blond savior. Then the world exploded in rainbow light.

Naruto fed the _Rasengan_ monster Doto using the large chakra combiner on his chest as a target. The jutsu collided with the shield, the resulting collision sending shockwaves back in both directions as both fighters pushed to break through the other's technique.

For several seconds the two held even allowing Doto a triumphant smile. He almost began to think that he wasn't a complete failure. For one moment in his life, he could stand on his own two feet.

Then the case of his combiner element cracked, and his eyes shot open, his wide grin falling into a surprised "O-shaped" gasp.

Two seconds later and the case imploded, his shield collapsing absolutely under the relentless onslaught of the A-ranked chakra manipulation jutsu. There was a brief moment of peaceful realization in Doto's eyes as his past rushed up to smack him in the face and he almost seemed to accept the inevitable.

Then the pain struck him as the _Rasengan_ chewed through his chest plate, ground down through to his sternum shattering it and driving six of his ribs inward as his body corkscrewed before shooting him across the snowy field. He spun fast enough to leave a trench in his wake, his back slamming into an ice-covered boulder right before the darkness of oblivion claimed his senses.

Without the rampant roar of high-powered jutsu, Naruto could hear the humming machinery as the temperature rose, the ice around each obelisk melting into streams flowing towards the middle of what he now realized was a lake instead of a plain of ice and snow. Great gouts of steam were rising into the air as the large objects positioned around the lake began to focus light up above their heads. Naruto thought he heard the sound of a very old movie, like the old reels that used to have lots of static in the background, his face breaking into a warm smile as he spied the ghostly image of a young girl floating above the island. She was giggling, her arms held out to her sides as she swayed from left to right.

"Believe in the future, Koyuki. If you believe, then spring is sure to come to the Land of Snow."

The voice was warm, deep, and rich with the love of a father for his daughter. Naruto's eyes swung over to the Princess, whose body never left her sitting position, her eyes shedding streams of water down her face as she looked up at the projected image of Sosetsu Kazahana, her most cherished father.

She'd finally learned to cry without help.

"Nice work, Naruto." The voice caught his attention as he turned to see his approaching sensei followed by his teammates. With a nod, he turned back to watch the rest of the reel play out.

"What do we do with him?" Ino chirped out. "Hey! They're getting away!" Now that did get everyone's attention as they spun around to see Doto being hoisted into the blimp by a scowling pink-haired kunoichi.

"Tsk, I am still not sure that I like that shade of pink." Naruto calmly turned and nodded to one of his remaining clones, which nodded in return and shot off to catch up to the fleeing, and rather slow moving, blimp.

"You just gonna let her get away with that?" Ino seemed rather indignant given all the female enemy had put them through.

"Wait for it, Ino," was all the surprisingly calm shinobi would say causing all three of his teammates to raise a questioning eyebrow… right before the entire blimp chain-exploded into a bright fireball of white-hot flames.

"I left them a small present," Naruto jokingly offered up before returning to the now-looping piece of history right as the entire mechanism powered down.

"Well, let's get the Princess back to her people, Team."

Three boisterous, "Hai!" were the only responses.

~III~

The celebration of a new nation was going on its third day now while Naruto was going on his third pass (of the day) at the private buffet established on the balcony of their posh hotel accommodations. The balcony overlooked the public square where they had front row seats to the festivities below. To their right, they could look up and see the new Princess as she smiled down to and waved at her joyous subjects. There would be long days ahead of them to rebuild the kingdom but, for now, people needed to celebrate the return of their rightful ruler and let the dust settle on over a decade of corruption and destructive behavior by her decadent uncle.

Naruto glanced up, his hand hovering over the breakfast pastries that would get changed out later for sandwiches and finger foods to glance up at a sleepy-looking Koyuki. When their eyes met, she blew him a chaste kiss much to the jealous glares of many single (and hoping) bachelors in the crowd below.

Naruto waved back sheepishly then returned his attention to the spread, his left hand holding aloft his rapidly filling plate while his right rubbed an irritated spot on his left shoulder blade.

"You okay, Naruto?"

The blond glanced over the same shoulder to his pineapple-haired teammate and shrugged it off.

"Don't bother," came the snarky response from the group's perturbed kunoichi. "When I went to grab him for dinner, I found him sitting shirtless in his room while a few of his clones were doodling new tattoos on his back, neck and arms. When I asked him what was going on, he gave me some cheesy quip about, 'changing his paradigm' or some goofy thing." Ino cut an annoyed look at her blond like interest. "He wouldn't go into any more detail other than he'd need to finish the rest when we got home."

Shika's eyebrow shot up in his trademark "troublesome" stare but he spoke no more on it.

While Naruto was pretending to be focused on the snack bar, he was truly hoping Ino would let it go. The Queen Snooper hated secrets, but he couldn't up and tell her he was going to unnecessarily risk his life to bond with two _Umihebi_ simply because he was too stubborn to just pick one over the other. She'd never let him live it down… or leave him alone until she bullied him into bonding with just one. No, while he loved her company and appreciated her concern for him, sometimes he just wished for a moment or two… of… _silence?_

That's when he noticed that it was completely silent. No nagging teammates. No chirping snowbirds. No noisy celebration from below. His eyes snapped up to see everyone frozen in whatever they were doing last.

Ino's left hand found its way to her hip as her right one shot up in his direction, pointer primed and mouth wide open as she prepared to tear into him. He sighed knowing that conversation would not be a pleasant one.

Shikamaru's face was frozen in the same patronizing stare, his eyes saying he wasn't buying that Naruto wasn't up to no good and he aimed to puzzle out what was going on.

Koyuki was frozen mid-wave to the crowd beneath the balcony of her temporary manor, her eyes locked onto their balcony with a fond smile. He idly remarked how pretty she was in her royal robes of the Daimyo.

Looking below even the confetti was frozen in mid-air, birds paused mid-flight as they darted about.

"Sonofa-."

"Man, this food is incredible!" Naruto spun about to see a young male with long scarlet hair tied into a topknot, long bangs framing the sides of his face as he hunched over the buffet table. His flowing sleeves and pants were made of the finest crimson silk, the samurai-styled armor overlaying it the cover of the finest ivory, including the forearm and shin greaves. Naruto tried not to grimace as his eyes raked over the red tori gate etched over the smiling man's heart.

Golden eyes twinkled out from his clean-shaven face as he quickly scooped up delicious looking treacle and apple-filled tarts. "Can't wait for the lunch to roll out! I hope they bring out the good sake this time, like that _Four Foxes_ stuff." His young face looked over to Naruto before his smile faded, his eyes darting down to the blond's partially-filled plate.

"Um, you gonna eat those?" he asked almost innocently but Naruto knew better, his free hand darting to cover his plate as if protecting it from bandits.

"Oi! Oi! Oi! You promised me five slides! Five unmolested regressions, that's six total chances to figure out what I needed to do to work this out!" The young male, still apparently older than Naruto by a few years despite the clean-shaven face, nodded his head agreeably, his eyes closed as if to ponder something deep and mysterious.

"Why are you here messing things up now?"

The ginger's finger shot up reprovingly. "Ahahahahaaaaaaah! I've ruined nothing… yet." Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'm actually here to deliver a message, nothing more."

Naruto tsked, _loudly_ , then patiently waited for the other shoe to drop.

"C'mon, don't be like that! It's for your own good anyway." The blond's face grew more incredulous if that were even possible. "Look, we weren't expecting your psyche to fracture like it did on the second slide. Everyone figured that, between your Uzumaki/ Senju resiliency and her youki, you'd pretty much survive damn near anything."

Naruto's face fell even as he remembered his final session with Inoichi and the fifteen minutes Naruko spent crying on his shoulder. Integration of the last two pairs of core fragments had been less traumatic than that.

"So… she's changing the rules… a little," he mumbled with the thumb and index finger of one hand dangerously close together indicating distance. The red head's shoulders hunched up even as the words left his mouth at a whisper.

"WHAAAAAAAAT!" Now he winced. Ten minutes later when Naruto paused to draw breath, he lifted a hand in a placating fashion to get a word in edgewise.

"You can't survive too many more re-integrations and you know it." His golden eyes locked onto Naruto's ocean blues without flinching and that seemed to center him. Gone was the normal playfulness and chipper prankster attitude the blond had grown fond of.

There was genuine worry there this time.

"And a 'vegetable you' is no good for anyone least of all that one inside you," he took a deep steadying breath, "sosheschangingittothreeslidesmaxwithonlythreejumpersinthefinalregression." He promptly stuffed a large pastry in his mouth while the blond sputtered and choked in rage.

Eventually, the passion died out and the redhead lifted a hand to snap his fingers, a poof of smoke bursting to reveal a confused young woman wearing slate-grey kimono robes trimmed in prancing foxes over her petite frame. Her burnt orange eyes blinked rapidly almost as if she wasn't really used to true sunlight, then they crinkled nearly closed as a dainty hand rose to shade her face from the intensity of the sun. Her hair was ebony, almost the color of night and her skin held nearly the perfect golden hue. The kimono fit perfectly on her athletic figure, her curves modest and well concealed despite her bare feet scrunching up experimentally on the carpet below her toes. Her head might have reached Naruto's chest, and no more, but her eyes showed wisdom beyond their years.

"Kurama," Naruto breathed out in a hushed whisper.

"Relax big guy, it's just a clone construct, a fairly weak one at that. The real one should be napping peacefully in your belly while the consciousness inhabits this handy chakra body. Can't have another 'Jump-1-Era Rampage' here, now can we?" He was smirking again, but Naruto's face didn't share in the humor. "Oh, I hope you don't mind me borrowing a bit of your chakra to tether the construct to you, do you?"

Naruto waved it off as inconsequential. He was too awestruck by the porcelain doll standing before him trying to adjust her now slitted pupils to the glorious light of real sunshine. When she recognized him, however, those eyes narrowed dangerously as her mouth opened to reveal a fanged snarl very similar to his own.

"Heeeeyyyyyyy! None of that missy," the redhead barked out causing the angry embodiment of the world's animosity to rapidly deflate her dangerously ratcheting posture. "Psssh! There's no time to walk you through it all. This will just have to do for this round." He casually walked up to the Kyuubi and touched her forehead with a single glowing finger, licking it afterward once he noticed a spot of frosting left behind between her gently arching eyebrows.

The construct representing the total sum of Konoha's nightmares staggered, slumped to its knees, then hung there on the floor as its eyes rolled up into the back of his head, the eyelids fluttering rapidly as if assimilating large amounts of data.

"Now, while that happens, I'm here to walk you through the remainder of the 'new' deal." His new friend slung an arm conspiratorially over his shoulder and led Naruto back to the copiously stacked breakfast feast.

 **~ Meanwhile, Deep in the Suna Desert… ~**

"Stop dallying, Rasa. We are quickly approaching the point of no return and I need to be sure your forces will be in place."

The very stern man wearing a loose-fitting green kimono to go along with his spiky auburn hair and pointy hat clearly did not appreciate being spoken to in such a manner. Most Kages didn't truth be told and the four attending elites watching his back at this impromptu meeting twitched ever so nervously as their Kage's back stiffened ever so slightly. People had died after smaller reactions.

Rasa's voice was frosty, to say the least. "Suna will be seeking other opportunities following the Chunin Exams. Good day, Orochimaru." With that blatant declaration, Rasa turned on a heel and began the half-day journey to his sand-covered home.

"…disappointed," the only word to reach the bristling Kazekage's ear seemed to be enough to stop him in place.

"I'm sure you'll-." His retort was cut off as Orochimaru seemed oblivious, his repeated mantra talking over the annoyed desert leader's gravelly voice.

"If there's one thing I hate, it is to be disappointed."

Rasa had two seconds to raise a wall of sand, a swirling mass of blustering grit reminiscent of a sand storm, to sweep away the snakes flying for his neck. As he calmly faced about to bring his disgruntled former partner into view, the apparently older male winced in disgust as Orochimaru hacked up a snake holding onto to the famed _Kusanagi_.

"Truly, you are a vile creature and my village is better off without your help," Rasa bit off in revulsion.

"Oh, I heard a change of leadership was in order. Didn't you receive your invitation?" Orochimaru's surprised face melted away into a disturbing sneer. "Oh dear, I may have spoiled the surprise," he hissed out taking a perverse joy in the banter. Then he charged with the blade point first only to slide to a sandy halt as the weapon locked in place not two meters in front of the smirking Kage, the snake sannin noticing for the first time the dark rings appearing around the man's eyes.

"Surely you didn't expect that to work on someone with the magnet release, did you?" His smile faltered when a set of snake fangs latched onto his neck from behind.

"Of course not, Rasa, but I needed your attention focused on the simple threat after all." Orochimaru's voice sounded jubilant even as the Kazekage vanished in a swirl of sand.

"Impressive to be able to substitute out of that but I'm sure even your magnificent stamina will have difficulty with that poison." Orochimaru turned about to glare malevolently at the dusky redhead clutching at the puncture wounds in his neck. "I made that one especially for you."

Despite the rapid blurring of his eyesight, Rasa dug deep and summoned huge waves of sparkling sand, horrendous gouts of the stuff shooting hundreds of feet into the air all around him. He wasn't much of a mobile fighter and his vision was failing too rapidly to mean anything good but, if he was to die today, he planned on taking this bastard with him if he could.

Wiping away the frothy pink foam from the corner of his mouth, Rasa concentrated everything he had left into one last jutsu praying it would be enough to do the job.

It wouldn't be.

 **~ Yuki no Kuni ~**

"Did you get all that?" The concerned look on the perky ginger seemed out of place but Naruto nodded all the same. "C'mon! Don't' be like that! It's not like you hadn't mostly figured out what you needed to do in the first regression any way!"

Naruto merely growled as he stared in frustration at the floor just inside the room adjacent to the balcony but didn't respond.

"What else could you possibly still need to do?"

Naruto clucked his teeth in frustration. "The things holding my interest have little to do with my promise to free her." His head nodded in the direction of the still-kneeling bijū next to the pastry-ladened buffet table and the lights came on for the ephemeral being.

"You were hoping to save your clan with the final slide," his eyes growing wide with the sudden understanding.

"If I save my clan, I might be able to save my family. Is that so wrong?" Naruto's eyes were almost pleading for mercy.

"No, Naruto-kun. That is not so unfair for the one on which the rest of humanity will eventually come to rely upon but, at the risk of sounding harsh, that was not part of the deal." Naruto's eyes tightened even as moisture began to gather at the corners.

Something twinged in the taller man's chest as he sighed, his arm reaching out to steer the young man back out to the pastry table where he originally found him.

"Look, I make no promises, but I'll put in a good word for you, you know… with _her_." He carefully positioned the boy roughly where their conversation started taking one final look to make sure Naruto was positioned just so. "I make no promises mind you, but I'll see what can be done considering we're cutting your planning time by twenty-five percent."

"Forty," Naruto corrected.

"Right, forty percent. I meant forty percent. Didn't I say forty?" Naruto was shaking his head sadly by this point. Never trust a kami any further than you can throw them evidently.

"At a minimum, I want to talk more with you next time about them," his head nodded down to the slowly stirring brunette. You mentioned something about divine intervention in the design of the bijū." His comment brought back the twinkle in his strange companion's eyes.

"I always knew you were a selfless bastard but, if you care for her that much, why didn't you just tell her what was going on from the start?"

"You know why. I tried that the first time and had to spend an additional three years convincing her I wasn't brain damaged." Naruto looked back down to the now open and slowly blinking eyes of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. "She would never have believed me, and I really didn't want to stay in this slide any more than I needed to. So much has changed out of my control." He shrugged almost absently.

"I thought maybe I could win her trust the old-fashioned way and start fresh on the next one. As it is, I'm the only one that remembers anything, and we'd be back at square one once I subsumed the original consciousness. Now I need to be absolutely sure of what I want before I fire off the _Seven Heavenly Buddha's Jutsu_."

He glanced down morbidly as he stared unflinchingly into the most beautiful pair of eyes he'd seen on human or beast knowing the next slide would be the last.

"Fair enough but, before I go, I gotta ask why the Kakashi parody?" Without ever breaking Kurama's gaze, his head tilted towards the steadily munching guest.

"I needed to know what was going on different with Team Seven since I'm not part of their group this time and so much was different this time around. Come to find out that it was more trouble than it was worth even if I had the spare jumper to use." Naruto was referring to the youko-enhanced blood clones sporting his nature chakra conversion arrays, a reference that bulged the bijū's eyes as she rose slowly to her feet.

"Turns out Sakura was the easiest to replace after all and no one batted an eye at the minor changes in her personality, least of all her own parents." The boisterous guest nearly choked on a mouth full of pastry as he guffawed during Naruto's revelation, his hand furiously trying to slap his own back as he choked down the solidifying mass of confection lodged in his throat.

The still silent female took that opportunity to step forward and wrap her arms around Naruto's trunk, the boy's body stiffening as he waited for the now tiny bijū to try and rend his flesh or something. Instead, she squeezed just enough to smash her temporary body into his and held it as the choking sounds from the now-staring onlooker petered out from the resulting shock.

"If you tell anyone," she whispered her honeyed voice caressing his ears and making Naruto shiver slightly, "I'll make your existence miserable. I swear on Inari-Kami's name."

Both males locked gazes and blinked near simultaneously at each other. In the end, all Naruto could do was to slowly wrap his arms around her in return, his hands laying flat against her back as the smaller figure shivered once letting a near silent sigh escape her lips. She felt warm. She felt soft as his fingers pressed into the warm-feeling flesh of her back as the smaller figure's eyes closed at the enveloping sensation of warmth.

Then her eyes shot open to lock with the redheaded male, her head bobbed a quick bow, and the chakra entity released itself in a violent burst of smoke. Naruto slowly turned to the slack-jawed male and nodded once.

"Yeah, not a word," the armored male agreed as he vanished into mist, white and crimson confetti floating away on an unseen breeze. Once the final pieces of paper faded from view, the world broke its slumber and a cacophony of noise assaulted his sensitive ears, first and foremost of which came Ino's voice as she began to lay into for whatever unrevealed stupidity he was about to negligently engaged in once they reached home.

He paid little attention to her rant as his picked up his plate and resumed stacking it with goodies, a small smile upturning the corners of his mouth as he looked forward to reaching home and finishing the supplemental network. They would be leaving in a couple of days and he could use the time to set things up with the _Umihebi_ on the return trip.

He had a clan to bond with after all.

~III~

* * *

 _ **[Justsu Used in This Chapter]**_

* * *

 **[A-Rank] Rasengan (Spiraling Sphere)** – The Rasengan is a very high-level technique that took the Yondaime Hokage three years to perfect. Unlike the Chidori, the Rasengan does not "cut" per se. It "grinds" rather, literally creating a hurricane of chakra formed in the shape of a sphere, between the size of a softball and a baseball. It does have a drawback, however, the Rasengan needs great chakra control. It is a self-sustaining technique so once the chakra is molded, the user doesn't need more chakra. When mastered, it requires no hand seals and can be used with one hand.

 **[C-Rank] Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique) -** A jutsu that sends a stream of fire towards the opponent, originating from the user's mouth. In some cases, it has been seen to take on the form of a dragon. Capable of being used like a flamethrower, prolonged exposure has been known to transform boulders and cliff side's into molten piles of magma.

 **[Unranked] Hyoton: Tsubame Fubuki (Ice Release: Swallow Snow Storm)** \- The user launches a bunch of ice needles that are in the shape of mini-swallows. These needles can change direction in the air depending on the user's level of concentration and proficiency.

 **[Unranked] Hyoton: Haryu Moko (Ice Release: Piercing Dragon Fierce Tiger)** \- The user creates a large Dragon shaped Tiger out of nearby ice. Due to being so cold, it can freeze nearby water around it while attacking its target. It's basically just an Ice version of the jutsu Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu.

 **[Unranked] Hyoton: Kokuryu Bofusetsu (Ice Release: Black Dragon Outburst Snowstorm)** \- The user creates a black dragon stream with red eyes that is sent towards the opponent. There's an improved version, the Souryubo Fusetsu, in which he shoots two black dragons that attack the enemy by creating a large black tornado.

 **[Unranked] Hyouton: Sōryū Bōfūsetsu (Ice Release: Twin Dragon Blizzard)** \- An advanced version of Ice Release: Black Dragon Blizzard in which Dotō releases two dragons of black snow that merge into a massive tornado. This technique manipulates existing ice instead of creating ice.

~III~


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Welcome back! Oh, so much to discuss before we get in to it. The confusion…

I stopped deleting the "Guest" comments a while ago because they can be very entertaining. I don't respond to the vast majority of them (because I can't directly) but the important ones end up here in the Author's Notes. So yes, as previously mentioned in Chapter 23, time travel is involved in this story if the many, many variations from the canon timeline have not already given that away. "Kakashi's" suspended state in Chapter 23 with the "Jumper," a term that I'll explain in depth through the story, is just one glaring example of such an altered reality. There are events in this story that do not match the canon timeline and that's deliberate, in most cases it's very subtle. There are reasons for it, most of which I have kept partially hidden (until now). Not all of the mechanics have been laid bare yet but they're coming (in passable Naruto-ese no less).

This story began with time travel in mind I simply did not state so at the outset; like the characters of the story, we are discovering this as the story develops. The many splinter-like story plots, while confusing for some, are a direct result of Naruto's "tinkering" with the timeline. It's not going to last especially now that his celestial leash has been tightened for lack of a better term. He's going to need to prioritize things.

NOTE: In case you missed it in Naruto's conversation with his unidentified visitor, that Kakashi was most likely not the real future Kakashi either. Just something to chew on.

Also, for the Guest asking about _that_ part at the end… (?)… you are going to have to be a bit more specific. I threw a lot at you in the latter half of the last chapter (as the varied story threads start to come together in the final act) so I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to. There is a _LOT_ going on because, as **hearfanglives** pointed out, I'm closing out a lot of open-ended story threads in the next Arc. Speaking of which…

Unlike Naruto, Ino has been training her _Falna_ and it will show when it matters (#5).

Naruto has not forgotten about Hinata (she has a part to play next Arc, #8).

Hold on to #14 for just a bit longer. Don't lose that train of thought…

Does anyone remember where I parked those sea serpents?

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I may not own Naruto but the** _ **Umihebi**_ **are** _ **all belong to me!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 27: New Bonds**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _The still silent female took that opportunity to step forward and wrap her arms around Naruto's trunk, the boy's body stiffening as he waited for the now tiny bijū to try and rend his flesh or something. Instead, she squeezed just enough to smash her temporary body into his and held it as the choking sounds from the now-staring onlooker petered out from the resulting shock._

 _"If you tell anyone," she whispered her honeyed voice caressing his ears and making Naruto shiver slightly, "I'll make your existence miserable. I swear on Inari-Kami's name."_

 _Both males locked gazes and blinked near simultaneously at each other. In the end, all Naruto could do was to slowly wrap his arms around her in return, his hands laying flat against her back as the smaller figure shivered once letting a near silent sigh escape her lips. She felt warm. She felt soft as his fingers pressed into the warm-feeling flesh of her back as the smaller figure's eyes closed at the enveloping sensation of warmth._

 _Then her eyes shot open to lock with the redheaded male, her head bobbed a quick bow, and the chakra entity released itself in a violent burst of smoke. Naruto slowly turned to the slack-jawed male and nodded once._

 _"Yeah, not a word," the armored male agreed as he vanished into mist, white and crimson confetti floating away on an unseen breeze. Once the final pieces of paper faded from view, the world broke its slumber and a cacophony of noise assaulted his sensitive ears, first and foremost of which came Ino's voice as she began to lay into for whatever unrevealed stupidity he was about to negligently engaged in once they reached home._

 _He paid little attention to her rant as his picked up his plate and resumed stacking it with goodies, a small smile upturning the corners of his mouth as he looked forward to reaching home and finishing the supplemental network. They would be leaving in a couple of days and he could use the time to set things up with the Umihebi on the return trip._

 _He had a clan to bond with after all._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Aisu Bay, Aboard the Good Ship Northern Paradise ~**

It was the second morning of their return trip home and Naruto's time on the decks of the _Northern Paradise_ was not their normal lazy affair. The weather was finally beginning to warm up the closer they got to Hi no Kuni's eastern shore, the moderate trade winds doing their best to take the bite out of the North's crisp morning start. It was unfortunate that the northern winds stubbornly clung to that last nippy edge making extensive visits first thing in the morning uncomfortable. Beneath the waves he could see several graceful shapes pacing the ship, many more than the trip northward brought to the surface; they were nervous and agitated if their pack-like threshing of a large whale an hour ago demonstrated anything.

The animal's baleful cries actually caught the attention of the crew, several making silent religious symbols over their hearts to ward off evil. It was a very sober reminder of what they were: apex predators not to be taken lightly, true masters of the sea and he owed them an answer. Soon.

Opal had been tugging lightly at their bond, her sadness flowing into his heart during the slower moments as he stared out at the sea. He owed her an answer soon.

All in all, the morning had a heavy feel to it one that intensified when he felt a shuddering pull on his mind strong enough to briefly dim the greying morning sky and stagger him enough to force one hand to shoot out and grab the wooden rail for support. Blinking away the lightheaded wave as it passed, Naruto figured this meeting was long overdue and he'd have to catch up with Opal sometime after.

Moving to Ino's favorite perch (a spool of line coiled up on the deck), he flopped down lotus style and draped his cloak over his folded legs. Once his eyes closed, the journey inward was almost instantaneous.

" **Why?!"**

Naruto blinked his deep blue eyes open noting that he was standing directly outside the enclosure. Standing just past the bars of the cage, despite the apparent possibility that the bars had enough space for her to turn sideways and slide through them, stood a very pensive "human" woman with raven-colored hair braided into nine finger-thick weaves reaching the tops of her flared hips.

Naruto blinked again when she repeated her query with a touch more impatience.

"Not even a 'Good morning, maggot' from my life-long-."

" **DON'T MOCK ME!"** Despite her tiny frame, crimson power rolled out from beneath her dark grey clothing swirling like smoke as it poured in all directions. Naruto sighed softly as he stepped directly through the bars. He knew she couldn't pass through to his side no matter how small she shrunk but he got the impression that this conversation needed to be had on a more intimate setting and not as a jailor staring through the prison bars at his inmate.

As he sat down just inside the enclosure, two smaller versions of the sleeping cushion he once created for her appeared on the ground along with a small porcelain tea service for two decorated in grey foxes to match her kimono. It took several minutes of aggravated teeth gnashing before the exotic beauty stopped pacing in small circles enough to ease down onto the provided cushion and accept a cup from him. Once situated, and without drinking, her eyes locked onto his face as she waited for his response.

"I assume you've processed all the memories he shoved into your head?" The bijū-in-human-form nodded once.

"Then I'm guessing your 'why' has to do with why I'm bothering to do all this time/space nonsense?" She nodded once more.

"Why does it bother you so much?" The Kyuubi's initial response was to inhale a chest-expanding amount of air to yell and shout. She wanted to demand that he just answer her question, but the rage seemed to fizzle as a brief internal battle was waged and concluded across the slim eyebrows of her face.

" **It makes no sense to me…"** Her words died off to a whisper, but it was easy enough to guess where they were going.

"It makes no sense given our history?" Though a question, the answer was simple enough to determine even for someone as dense as he was about personal relationships. She nodded once with a bit less force than before.

" **If I were you and you did to me what I did to you… what I** _ **tried**_ **to do to you…"** Once more, he finished her unfinished statement.

"… you wouldn't have forgiven me so easily?" This time the minuscule movement of her head moved from left to right as she agreed. Taking a deep sip of his own tea (and marveling at the texture of his mindscape), Naruto set the cup down and expelled a cleansing breath.

"I didn't get a choice as to whether or not we'd be stuck together forever." Her eyes blinked but she gave no other indication of movement. "Neither were you, given what he did to my mother before turning you loose on the village. Should I hate you for something you had no control over?"

Here she had a powerful reaction.

" **What happened once his control broke was entirely** _ **my**_ **decision!** _ **I**_ **tried to** _ **kill**_ **you!"** Her face fierce, she tried to lock eyes with her container, to force him to meet her stare head on which he did easily enough.

"And after decades of imprisonment, wrongful imprisonment caused no less than twice by the same asshole, who wouldn't fight to be free? Am I supposed to be angry you for a long chain of circumstances forced on you?" Kyuubi could only blink in response. "Does that mean that I should hate all of Konoha for the rest of my life?"

" _ **YES! Get angry! Be upset! You've earned that much of a right!"**_ Naruto's head tilted sideways just a bit as his eyes softened.

"You used to complain all the time about how all humans were the same. You used to rant that they were worthless maggots crawling around in the muck and mire of their own greed and petty jealousies."

" **They are!"** she growled out.

"Then, if I respond in the way you're accustomed to other humans doing out of fear and ignorance, doesn't that make me no better than they are?" Here the strongest of the nine rocked back on her heels, her sunset-colored orbs fluttering open from their angry creases as his logic waged war with her millennia-reinforced beliefs.

"Look, Kurama," she blinked twice almost forgetting that they'd lived several lives together previously and that he most likely knew a great deal more about her than she realized, "I've done the anger thing before. I've vented my rage and it's earned me nothing but more anger in return. At some point, the senseless cycle of violence takes more than it gives and leaves your mind and body used up." He quietly lifted his teacup up towards his face.

"Personally, I'd rather focus on the things that matter more and deal with the hatred when the time is right. Allowing it to fester just eats up energy and gives you ulcers." The unconvinced bijū snorted loudly.

" **But I took so much from you. You can't possibly forgive me for that."** Kurama wanted desperately to not believe the foreign images clogging her brain. If she believed and the insignificant human before her let her down, as so many others had through the years, the bijū might have to stop believing in the dream of her father. Images could lie. Memories could deceive. No, this human had to earn her trust the hard way and it started from that moment on.

His eyes came up to lock with hers and he smiled, a true spreading of warmth across his features. "I forgave you during our first life together. Your debt to me was repaid long ago."

Her eyebrows knitted together suddenly. **"I'm not going to become your live-in vixen so don't get any strange ideas!"**

Naruto's tea shot out of his nose and mouth causing a brief round of sputtering and coughing. "We're friends, Kurama, nothing more. Besides," he took a second to wipe his mouth on a napkin, "you're out of luck because I'm spoken for."

This time the chakra entity snickered. **"Your loss. There are still a few items I don't understand completely."**

Naruto perked up a little. "Like?"

" **How is all this supposed to work now that Kami herself has gone back on her promise to you and you've only got one chance to get everything right on the next go-round?"**

"Well, I'm not too worried about what needs to be done since, between my original life and the first _slide_ , we've pieced together most of the important events that need to be adjusted. I just need to find one last piece of the puzzle to be absolutely sure." He sighed as his eyes looked up at some non-existent thing near the ceiling of her cavern. "Everything I'm doing now is to prepare me for the last _slide_ , for my last chance to lead a normal life given all that I've learned about my clan."

" **Slide?"** Naruto had to hide his blush at the cute way her eyebrows scrunched together behind pouring and preparing another cup of tea.

"From the way Inari-sama tells it, you're familiar with the concept of time-space displacement?" Kyuubi nodded.

" **It's what you humans mistakenly call time travel but it's very unreliable. You could end up in an alternate reality with a completely different set of parameters."** A flashback of an odd reality where Naruto's parents were alive, and Sakura's folks had become the heroes of Konoha flashed through the bijū's mind and she winced at the memory. She disliked that pink-capped creature passionately.

"That's true. The Uzumaki dabbled with that kind of theoretical _kinjutsu_ utilizing large amounts of chakra to brute-force punch a hole through the timeline and send people and their possessions backward through it. Chakra surges large enough to make that happen have unreliable effects on your final destination making fine control of where you end up almost impossible without divine intervention." Kyuubi nodded as she listened to his level of understanding.

"However, my desire to free you from this," he thumbed his hand to the metal seal up above them both, "caught someone's attention and they petitioned to Kami herself to restore the natural order of things." Kyuubi's head tilted in a fashion similar to his own. "Minato Namikaze may be big stuff in Konoha but the powers-that-be weren't very impressed with his _shiki fūin_ shenanigans. That means they agreed to help me find a way to reverse your sealing into me since no one can undo the Shinigami's bargain with Minato Namikaze. The only way to free you would be to make it so that the sealing never happened in the first place and that requires exacting control over any _kinjutsu_ powerful enough to send me back in time."

The shock on Kyuubi's face at such a revelation bordered on incredulousness.

"So, she passed on knowledge of a powerful _fuuinjutsu_ ritual-."

" _ **Seven Heavenly Buddhas**_ **…"**

Naruto nodded, "Correct, a powerful _kinjutsu_ that will allow me to travel along my individual thread of life to a specific point of my existence within my current plane of existence."

She let out a low whistle. **"But at what cost?"**

Naruto shrugged almost unconcerned with the question. "It's not important."

" **It is to me!"** Kyuubi hated the idea of being indebted to any mortal and this was stretching the fragile reality of what she could bear at the moment.

"Nothing material can go back with me, meaning I must prepare a slightly different seal, the _Takarabune no Tabi*_ , to send back non-living items, and nothing of the original can remain once I arrive in my new body. While I can travel backward along my lineage, even to a previous sire or grandparent, it must be within my family's genealogy." Kurama's eyes snapped open as she chewed on the implications of such a powerful seal. "Also, after the final slide, all knowledge of the kinjutsu will be wiped from my memory and, for better or worse, we're stuck with what happens."

" **What about the original consciousness?"** He paused for several tense minutes before responding.

"Nothing of the original can remain," he repeated as if it should be enough to explain everything. Fortunately for Kyuubi, it was.

" **The original consciousness-."**

"Soul," he corrected.

" **-soul… is absorbed… completely?"** He nodded in return and Kyuubi pressed on. **"This has to have detrimental effects on the human mind… the repeated fracturing and remolding of two different personalities…"**

Naruto nodded. "You saw the results of the second _slide_ in this lifetime, the multiple personality problem manifesting in the clones." A soft gasp was her only response. "That is why we are being given only one more chance to go back."

" **We?!"** This time he smiled.

"Yes, we. In order to power the seal construct, I need to tap into your powerful reserves and mix them with my own to fill the chakra storage arrays."

" **Even if I would help you, bijū youki is unstable in its raw form."**

"Yes, it is, which is why normal time displacement borrowing your youki is… _unreliable_ … at best. The more surges, the more likelihood of ending up off-target or out of dimension. I have modified the chakra storage seals to use conversion matrices that better blend your energy with my chakra, but it takes months to properly make and fill them so that they're usable. This is why I never start the process until you and I are," he paused as if mulling over a diplomatic phrase, "less adversarial with each other."

The chakra entity chuckled softly.

"It just works better when we're on the same team."

"… **and by staying anchored to your personal timeline, there is less chance of you,"** she paused, **"** _ **us**_ **… being sent off into another realm of existence."**

"Correct."

" **Then how do the clones work exactly?"**

"They are true jumpers. While the _kinjutsu_ partially anchors their chakra to my timeline, there is a higher than average chance of one of them being sent somewhere unexpected. The first two jumps showed that one-third of them get lost on average, so I'm allowed to send two to the same point of any single timeline section as a buffer. It is assumed by the powers involved in this that one of them will not go where it's supposed to be."

" **You never explained how the blood clones live so long. I understand the limitation of how much material can go back with each clone but not how they live beyond the normal week long limitation."**

Naruto smiled at this. "I was surprised at what Inari-sama, as my patron guide in all this, was willing to allow. But combining a limited duration nature chakra conversion seal, which keeps them mostly charged, and by forcing the clones to 'refresh' their blood weekly with blood pills, which keeps their blood from clotting and destroying the clone, you have a functional agent that can perform to my level of skill at the time of creation albeit at reduced levels of power, like true clones. They don't 'refill' as well as the original, so they have to be very careful how much they exert themselves. Chakra exhaustion or loss of too much blood will still kill one of these super-powered blood clones."

He stood to leave, his conversational companion still staring absently at the untouched tea in her palms.

" **I never asked you to do this for me,"** she groused, the blond smirking down at her still kneeling form and terse way of speaking.

"I know that." With one final warm smile, Naruto faded from the mindspace and opened his eyes to the feeling of warmth.

~III~

It took a couple of seconds to register even as a bitter wind ripped across the deck. He was warm, a soothing sensation enhanced by the blanket draped over his shoulders and the warm, soft body resting with her back pressed against his chest and his arms hanging over her shoulders, her hands gently stroking the backs of his own.

"Thank you," he murmured into her right ear relishing the shiver causing her back to shimmy just a bit.

"Your teeth were chattering, baka. You need to take better care of yourself if you're going to zone out like that." The back of her head landed gently on his collar bone. "How can I win you away from that harpy of a Nadeshiko woman if you're sick all the time?"

He chuckled trying to picture the extremely buxom Shizuka with feathered arms and taloned bird feet.

"What had you so lost in thought?" She pressed her cheek against his bicep trying to hide the worry in her voice. He didn't want to worry her, but he'd need to make some decisions in the near future, at least for this run of the timeline. Could he make a worse decision than spending this lifetime with the lovely creature wrapped up in his arms?

Of course, there were worse decisions. A pink-haired, angry-faced kunoichi's portrait flashed across his mind and it took all of his control not to flinch.

"I believe someone has taken control of my heart." He could feel her entire spine tighten up. "Unfortunately, I worry that I'm not good enough for her, that my troubled life will bring pain to her and her family." Ino's hands had paused in their rhythmic stroking of his hands but something jarred her back to motion, her face resting once again on his arm as she tried to regain control of her breathing, her heart jackhammering into his chest through her shoulder blades.

"Oh, well… I guess she should be happy that she won, whoever she is." Ino was ritualistically telling herself that she would not be jealous of the purplette but her rapidly heating face was trying to give away her frustration and building tears. She was also torn between storming off and staying put to enjoy the last moments of intimacy she would be able to enjoy in the arms of the man she might love with all her soon to be miserable heart.

"I would hate to for her family's flower shop to suffer because I admitted to loving her…" Naruto whispered almost too softly to register.

"If she loves you, she'll find a way… to…" Ino blinked once, then twice, her mind trying furiously to discount whether or not the Hyuuga Clan even owned a flower shop.

"Also, there is the CRA and what would-." His words came to an abrupt stop as Ino whipped around, clamped on to the sides of his head with both palms, then furiously smashed her lips against his. It didn't take much more convincing for him to reciprocate.

It took even less for the crew's cat-calling to start up.

They kissed passionately, her lips worrying almost frantically at his mouth as it if she were racing against someone. In the end, the need for air overrode her need to taste his sandals through his tonsils.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" she huffed out between breaths.

"Only if you're willing to take a chance on me," he countered, the blond kunoichi's head furiously bobbing up and down as happy tears poured down her face.

Taking a deep breath, he nervously reached up to palm her hands bringing them down to rest between them. Ino's glorious face began to falter as she noted the serious turn of his mouth, the interesting way his eyebrows knitted up as he considered his next words.

"Naruto, what's wrong? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, a little happier that you get to paw and grope me now?" She was trying to lighten the mood, that much he understood, but there was no easy way to do what he was about to do. She at least deserved to know.

" _ **Think about this, kit. What if she can't accept me?"**_ Naruto took another hefty breath and squared his shoulders as he locked eyes with her.

"If you're going to give me a chance, then I need to do the same with you." Ino blinked in surprise. "What I am about to tell you is one of the greatest secrets of our village, an S-ranked one that changed my entire life. You can't tell _anyone_ what I'm about to tell you, but you have a right to know." He paused and swallowed hard, his palms beginning to dampen as he gripped her smaller hands.

"You have the right to walk away before things get too serious."

It felt like the world was falling out from under her feet. Here she was getting the objective of her ambitions over the past five months and he had a secret scary enough it might chase her away? This made no sense. Why hadn't anyone else, oh yeah… S-ranked and all that.

Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, Ino straddled his lap, her hands clutching on tightly to his calloused paws as she took several steadying breaths.

"Okay. I can take anything. I can do this!" The way he stared for several minutes into her eyes without arguing nearly had her ready to take back her own words.

"Tell me what you know about the Kyuubi…"

~III~

 **~ Yuki no Kuni ~**

When the Northern Paradise made port in Hi no Kuni, four figures waited patiently near the gangplank to disembark. Naruto's eyes raked in the familiar coastline as they approached never missing the temperate climate and plentiful greenery of his adopted homeland. The trip to the Land of Snow had taken longer than expected and drained more of him than he was ready to give.

To make matters worse, Koyuki's parting gifts had been unveiled the same morning he'd had his little heart to heart chat with Ino making the quiet moments she'd asked to think over his _great revelation_ even more nerve-wracking. Apparently, the new Daimyo felt the need to be extra clear about her desire to get closer to the royal heir of House Uzumaki, something Ino found extra-eye twitching even as she wrung her hands in angst over her greatest fear: The Kyuubi no Youko.

The great defeat of the monster that haunted her nightmares as a child was a lie, all of it fabricated to help old people sleep peacefully at night and frighten small children in order to make them behave. _'If you're bad, the Kyuubi will rise up from the grave and steal your soul!'_ Worse still, the greatest hero of their village, and arguably the entire shinobi world, sealed the monster into the belly of a defenseless newborn and the man she now cared for more than any other. The horror of it all sucked the moisture from her mouth and made her want to cry. In the end, she spent the last two days locked away inside her cabin while he paced the weather deck.

The clanking of the heavy wooden walkway slammed onto the pier snapping him out of his daze, his left arm adjusting the gift duffle over his shoulder. If you discounted the very personal correspondence included in his bundle, the scrolls of Hyoton jutsus comprising their entire ninjutsu catalog were an unbelievably generous gift, priceless in the hands of any hidden village. He wouldn't be able to use more than half of it without the proper _kekke genkai_ but the gift was worth beyond anything he'd accomplished there, at least in his own eyes. It appeared that Princess Koyuki's desire to scrub her country's history of her evil uncle's rule extended into eliminating all vestiges of his reign including his love and use of Hyoton shinobi.

He saw it for what it was, however, and that was a clear manipulation to hold him in her debt, one she could cash in later if need be. Then she piled on the charm for Konoha at large.

The Land of Snow would rely on Konoha for its support even going so far as to include alliance overtures to the Hokage delivered by their sensei in the form of valuable trade proposals: technology for resources they could not easily procure. Asuma's reputation would grow over this political achievement arguably winning him to her cause (Koyuki was a shrewd negotiator and adept at reading people).

A warm hand suddenly wrapped around his own, the soft skin sliding over the rough callouses and squeezing just enough to announce her presence. With a hesitant smile, Naruto leaned over and kissed Ino's cheek eliciting a blush from the grinning girl and a raised eyebrow from his Nara teammate.

The Kyuubi grunted deep from within her seal, Naruto shrugging off the ancient being's disbelief. It took several hours once the sun came up that morning before she returned to him but, when she did, it was with a bone-crushing hug and a flippant, "If you were dangerous, you would have already skinned my corpse and eaten my flesh."

Naruto fought the strong urge to joke about being hungry and her looking very tasty.

"It's about time," Shika grumbled out before stepping off onto the shore.

Naruto's own, "Troublesome," preceded him as he joined his team in saying farewell to the wooden decks of the _Paradise._

Without fanfare, they raced off into the trees for home and, hopefully, a little normalcy.

~III~

"Then we returned the Princess to the empty ambassadorial lodgings in the capital where the city celebrated Doto's defeat and her return," Asuma recapped summing up their entire mission as he set down the official trade missive on his father's desk.

"Well done Team Asuma!" The Hokage's gratitude was genuine despite his concern over another mission escalating out of proportion. "It appears I'll need to upgrade this to an A-class mission and pay you accordingly."

The three Genin beamed even as their sensei's chest puffed up with pride.

"Take the next three days to recover as per standard procedure. Asuma, please stay so we can discuss something of significant import." The older nin grunted his affirmation as the three youths shuffled for the exit.

"Plan on our usual weekend get together," their sensei called out. "Until then, enjoy your well-earned time off." Each acknowledged with a nod before single-filing out of the room.

Once they were gone, the Hokage's congenial warmth faded rapidly from his eyes. "There is much to discuss that you will need to be aware of and the vast majority of it hinges on at least one of your students."

Asuma's face darkened even as his hand twitched towards the pocket carrying his beloved smokes. Kami he wanted to light up.

He would leave an hour later wide-eyed with shock and both hands nervously trying to light up a fresh cigarette.

~III~

Below the tower of the village's strongest shinobi, the three Genin members of Team Ten paused before their traditional disintegration into separate post-mission routines. For once, however, Naruto found himself loathe to part ways. Nothing waited for him back at the apartment but silence or more work on various projects, the last thing the normally energetic blond wanted was to get buried-in fresh from a long mission. He wanted to relax. More importantly, he wanted company.

"How about a quick bite to eat. My treat," the Uzu heir offered much to the shock of his teammates. It wasn't that Naruto was tight with cash often offering to pick up the tab. It was the melancholy in his voice that made them pause and something broke Shika from his prepared denial in lieu of the fluffy islands of cotton laying delicate patches of shadow along the cobblestoned roads of Konoha.

"Sure Naruto. Any ideas?" Ten minutes later found the trio traipsing into Yakiniku-Q. Following the hostess to their booth, the threesome froze at the familiar call of a certain pink-haired menace.

"Ino-pig?" Ino whipped her head around to spy the draped landscaping of her best frenemy. "Still slumming I see?" Shika grumbled something all too familiar sounding.

"Hey there, Forehead. Still looking for a sponsor so you can rent out space for advertising?" The seated kunoichi's eye twitching gave away who won that round and Ino smirked, even more, noting the presence of one Akimichi minus the brooding wonder.

Choji decided to play peacemaker.

"Hey, guys! Care to join us since Team Eight got called away for a retrieval?" His eyes were hopeful, almost pleading. Shikamaru relented sliding into the far side of the booth and directly across from his friend. Ino slid into the middle spot and Naruto took the end as the conversation picked up to match the fragrant smells and sounds of grilling meats.

It didn't take long before the stimulating conversation turned to recent missions and Team Ten's return from the Land of Snow. Judging by the one-part jealous squeal, one-part star-struck gasp, it wasn't hard to judge where Sakura stood on the Yukie / Koyuki secret identity issue.

"Shut up! You did _not_ get chummy with the Rainbow Princess?!"

It took considerably more effort, and revelation of a special autograph showing the famous actress hanging off of the reluctant-looking blond shinobi as she plastered his face with lipstick kisses before she'd willingly budge, her eyes smoldering with jealousy the entire time. Suddenly her jealous envy turned malicious.

"If you're not careful, Ino, you might lose your man to a powerful world leader." Naruto's eyes narrowed as they glanced up to see the pettiness in Sakura's glare only to nearly snort his drink through his nostrils with Ino's retort.

"I don't mind having a powerful sister-wife to keep me in expensive things." Sakura balked with indignation. "Oh, you forgot about the CRA for the Uzumaki Clan, didn't you?"

Judging by her sputtering fish impersonation, Sakura probably dumped that realization the moment they revealed it was Naruto's clan and not the last Uchiha's being discussed at the Council meeting she attended. He had to admit that it felt good to watch his girlfriend (man that word felt right) shut down her personal life troll.

He reached under the table and gently squeezed one of the hands resting on the girl's shapely thighs.

' _Yeah, it feels good not to be alone.'_

The good feeling couldn't last as Sakura defaulted to her standard fangirl mode, tempers flaring as she rushed to the defense of her not-so-secret love. It was with annoyed farewells that he kissed Ino's lips goodbye (much to Sakura's raised eyebrow of confusion), paid for their food, then slipped away from the temporary distraction. He needed to make preparations for the grotto anyway vice getting thrown in the brig for assaulting a fellow Leaf nin.

~III~

When the smoke from Naruto's reverse summons to the Grotto finally wafted away, it looked like the entire clan of giant serpents was gathered. As his eyes raked the gathering, every muzzle was creased with concern and frustration, the occasional fluttering of jaw flukes a clear indication of agitation if what he'd seen from Opal was any meter to gauge by. _'Well, too late to change it now.'_

He stepped to the center of the room where space had been left open, his legs still itching from the recent addition to his supplementary chakra network.

' _ **It's not too late to stop this foolishness. As much as I dislike these walking man-purses, they have a reasonable point about this possibly killing you… and me!'**_

' _We spoke about this while the clones were adding the final seals. This is why I need your help since Hestia's blessing makes linking the upper and lower networks fully almost impossible.'_ Hestia's gift made a contiguous network along his back impossible without sealing over the array, which would create unforeseen, and possibly explosive, results. To complicate things further, his father's seal on his stomach rested on the View Gate and the seal array Opal rested in while in his realm prevented access to the Limit, Harm and Death Gates from the front. At least two of them were unreachable in any form without damaging the seals in place.

Between the two halves of his latest sealing masterpiece, Naruto had to make do with six of the seven gates, ninety percent of the major tenketsu coils, and direct access to three-fourths of the minor tenketsu points, sometimes referred to as "pores." It would have to do for now and this was where his agreement with Kurama came into play; Kurama, limited though she was with how much youki she could push through the _iryojutsu_ seals attached to the containment seal, would focus the majority of her effort on the gates and coils his array could not reach directly. The supplementary network would have to handle the rest.

Having lived through the death of Mito Uzumaki attempting the same idiotic feat, the bijū was less than thrilled.

' _ **If you get me killed, I will beg the Shinigami of enough time to torture you in the afterlife.'**_ Naruto blanched as his feet came to a stop in the middle of the _Umihebi_ clutch. _**'I think a thousand years is fair.'**_ Naruto gulped even as he began removing the blue and red battle kimono.

"It is not too late to turn away from this foolish course," came the worried voice of Marianus, Opal's mother.

"Agreed, Walker. You have proven your worth." The clan patron's eyes were heavy with sadness having seen the ceremony performed only one other time before, an event that doomed the Uzumaki Clan right before the _Great Breaking_ , the death of the great clan at the hands of its betrayers.

Naruto looked up from his spot on the floor to the two eldest of the Celestial Clan and smiled.

"There is much more at stake here. It's not just the Uzumaki but the entire world of men at risk. If I do not chance this, many more will die. Too many people I love and care about will die. How can I look them in the eyes once I pass to the afterlife if I didn't do everything in my power to protect them?"

The entire grotto was silent for long moments except for the rhythmic breathing of over two-dozen dinosaur-sized sea serpents. Many hung their heads believing this would be the last time a _Walker_ would be among them as it was known that he was the last with the passing of his father. Soon only the soft patter of two pairs of feet caused tearing eyes to open.

The blond Genin turned first to smile at the saddened face of his future summons. Opal's human image was wreathed from the waist down in her normal wrap, her long legs and torso bared save for strange markings covering the nexus points of her own chakra network, these glowing the same soft blue he'd seen in his _Rasengan._ The tears of her eyes ran fresh trails down her smooth cheeks as she stopped and moved to stand directly behind him, the cool skin of her chest pressing firmly into his back. Suppressing a shiver, his head snapped forward to meet the second transformed summons expecting to see Titus, his eyes snapping open in shock.

Padding softly to stand directly in front of him was an older female bearing the same blue markings, her human form resembling a woman closer to Yuhi Kurenai in age. Long waves of dark hair hung lifelessly down her back and partially covered her naked chest, which was enormous. Her lower body was covered identically to Opal, however, her curves were much more pronounced, the body of a full-grown woman even if she appeared a bit underfed. No tears marred her perfect but pale features, her eyes the same deep-sea blue matching his own.

When she stopped directly in front of him, her face rested almost equal with his own, her being half a head taller than he was. The fact that her chest was resting high upon his own, almost to his collarbones, made their initial meeting a bit awkward as his pants began to tighten uncomfortably. Apparently, she noticed, her mouth quirking upwards into an unfriendly smirk as her soft hands clamped onto his shoulders (painfully) and pushed him downwards.

Naruto knew that he'd be kneeling for the ceremony just not that she'd be close enough for the cushions of her chest to stroke both sides of his face on the way down. Once his knees thumped onto the uncomfortable stone of the Grotto's floor, he felt Opal kneel behind him, her legs straddling his own with her palms pressed against the backs of his shoulders. The still unidentified woman in front of him kneeled with her thighs forcing his wide to the sides of her own, her hands slapping with a resounding sting onto the pectorals of his chest.

"I refuse to let my brother feel the pain of your idiotic death," she hissed out through clenched teeth. "Your selfishness and greed will cause my baby sister enough pain as it is, a sad but unavoidable fact. I will not let you so scar another of our clan if I can help it." Her anger was palpable at this point and Naruto's narrowed eyebrows rose into his hairline against his will.

"And what protects you from such a horrible experience, Miss…?"

"Survive this and I might tell you," was her only harsh reply. "Now, prepare yourself!"

The last gentle sound he heard before the pain started was the soft sobbing of Opal kneeling directly behind him. Then the world erupted into a blinding golden light as someone began pouring liquid fire into his chakra network.

~III~

The bonding process was meant to be a simple affair. A summoner and his chosen summons from the Celestial Clan of Sea Serpents, the _Umihebi_ , once agreed upon and approved by the elders of the clan, came to the grotto and, before the entire clan, exchanged of each other's chakra essence. The process was meant to mix their energies and open up the summoner, at least initially, to the spiritual chakra used by the Celestial clan tying their chakra networks with their summoner at the genetic level. This exchange and evolution were facilitated by the Summons as they pushed their chakra into the network of their summoner with one palm while drawing the summoner's chakra into their own with the other. Simple really.

There were a great many things that could complicate the process in reality. A mature Celestial summons practiced chakra manipulation for centuries and, by the time such bonding was attempted, was largely proficient at purging impurities during the transfer, however, Opal was far from practiced enough to deal with bijū youki. To surmount that hurdle, Ellamus would initiate the transfer pushing purged chakra back into his body for the younger echidnae to latch onto to, at least until she could get the hang of purging the demon's raw youki on her own. She wouldn't have very long to get the hang of it if she were to stay untainted by the demonic malice of the imprisoned bijū. It was an enormous risk to say the least.

It was fortunate that Naruto and Kurama mutually agreed to tighten the seal as much as possible (a complete purge of the fox's chakra was impossible since it had been leaking and mixing with Naruto's for a decade and a half) and Kurama would have to split her efforts between funneling her chakra through the _iryojutsu_ arrays tied to the seal while holding back as much of her youki as possible during the exchange. Once the transfer started, the great fox slammed her eyes closed, blocking the annoying golden glow suffusing the mindscape, and focused solely on the three green-glowing arrays she could visualize in the nested tetragram seal. If would have to do while the angry elder wyrmkin tried her best to kill Kurama's host, her hostility almost a physical manifestation to the irritated nine tails.

Ellamus, for all the hatred Kurama could feel oozing from the creature's pores, was doing nothing to cushion the blow of their merging. The serpent's energy was a bludgeon trying to saturate the boy's coils with enough energy to explode them while allowing the younger Opal to siphon off cleaner chakra minimizing her exposure to the demonic youki. To her credit, Opal tried to keep pace with her eldest sibling as she could feel the raging pressure attempting to rupture the chakra pathways of the human she cherished above all others. Ellamus could feel the younger female's anger and frustration through the now tri-way bond and lamented her pain. It was the same way she'd felt decades before as she watched Mito-sama melt away from the inside, but she meant what she'd threatened. Ella couldn't save Opal from the pain, but she'd make sure Titus escaped the same horrible fate so she pushed even harder hoping to destroy the boy's network before Opal could get completely lost in the summoner's physical and emotional torment. Better to end it all quickly and, hopefully, join her own summoner in the sacred plains of the beyond.

Besides, the thinnish wyrmkin was not expecting him to live very long. Mito's chakra network, even with the external sealing network, was quickly overrun minutes into the dual bonding. Inside of ten minutes, the redheaded woman began bleeding from the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. Inside of fifteen, her very pores began weeping blood. It was another two minutes, despite the older woman's begging for the great serpents to keep going, before Ella could stomach no more of the shared pain through their link and broke away.

It was that unwillingness to continue that left enough life in the elder Uzumaki for her to successfully transfer the Kyuubi to a waiting Kushina Uzumaki. This time she would see it through to the bitter end.

The boy's body locked into an unmoving mass of muscle the moment the transfer began, and Ella caught her eyes jerking downward once his thighs clamped onto the outside of her own. The amount of force from his legs startled her as she expected him to be physically weak given his lean yet muscular physique, very much unlike the hulking male forms of her kin. Her eyes locked onto his naked chest and, despite her now overflowing rage at the boy's foolishness, her mind appreciated the hard-sculpted muscle tensing and flexing beneath his skin, a telling sign that he was stronger than his appearance let on as he carried the weight well. Perhaps with an increase to these weighted seals on his body…

With a snarl, she snapped her eyes back up to his face and shook her head. The bond was already changing her feelings towards the boy and she tried to fight it once the realization hit her. His eyes were clenched tight so she could not see those deep blue orbs, so shockingly like her own…

Another angry shake of the head, this one not unnoticed by her parents who looked to each other with hope in their own eyes. Ella-chan had been alone far too long for it to be healthy.

This time Ellamus closed her eyes. It was a mistake as, with nothing to distract her and keep her rage focused, the memories began to flow from her new summoner into her own – ' _NO! Mito is my only summoner! Mito… is… my!'_

She could see it all, his original life and the pain and isolation he felt in Konoha. The memories flowed like a river… the Uchiha… the scorning girl with the child's body and annoyingly pink hair (she hated the color immediately despite loving her sister's shell-like tinge. The frustrating one-eyed man, Kakashi was his name, made her teeth gnash together… the betrayal of a village… the pain of loss when the old man died…

Her eyes flew open even as the tears began to flow, her breath now coming in ragged pants, her overly cushioned chest heaving and swaying with each gasp. She tried to fight it, to push her flow harder, but the boy's body only tensed more, his back arching as his hands came up to clasp onto the undersides of her upper arms. She winced slightly; his grip was painfully strong and a primal urge to feel those hands clamped onto her wide hips made her blush before she could bat the feeling away. It was as she clenched her jaws one more time and pushed her chakra into the young summoner with everything that she had left that his body began to glow, softly at first but then vibrantly along every square inch, that warmth began to flow back into her.

It started out as a mellow heat enveloping her arms before moving on to her hair. She could feel the weakness in her own limbs fading, the fraying ends of her listless hair disappearing as the tangled nest of locks repaired themselves. Her underfed and emaciated muscles drank in the healing energy pouring from his body, the sinuous threads expanding and toughening as his strength restored her. Wrinkled lines faded, cracked lips mended, and her toughened skin softened under the flood of healing chakra from both his networks and her adaptation to his Uzumaki bloodline. The light slowly began to fade from golden honey to a peaceful white blotting out the subtle blues of the Grotto. The memories continued to flow and the rush of peaceful ones overwrote the hate of his life and made her panic.

She wasn't dying, as she'd hoped; his bond was healing her body and the pain of loss from Mito's death was beginning to ebb partially. She wasn't ready to let go and fear drove her to break away. She would never forget her first summoner, the one she cherished above all others.

Ella raised her palms from his chest and tried to break the flow but found herself locked in place. His grip had tightened yet again and, despite his chakra restoring her physically, she found it still painful. Worse still, both his and Opal's chakra continued to surge through her own coils, her heart now beating painfully in sync with both of theirs.

She tried to slap his hands away from her arms with little effect. He was a juggernaut she could not break free from and her growing panic became sheer terror. She tried to shift back into her full form, but the bond prevented the change. Looking over his right shoulder, she could see Opal's face shining with sublime pleasure as her tears slid down the younger female's face and onto his back; the girl was ecstatic in the grip of the bond and had surrendered to it completely, her head resting on his body while her hands slid under his arms and wrapped around his waist. Ella was terrified – she was not ready to surrender her pain, her anger, her hatred!

With her hands now slapping frantically at his arms, she lifted her right foot and began slamming it into his chest repeatedly. It was like striking the cave walls of the grotto and she heard a small voice in the back of her mind trying to soothe her, a timid voice urging her to succumb. Her eyes snapped back to the now slowly opening eyes of her summon- no, her captor, and she saw the faint trails of blood leaking from his eyes even as his body radiated green energy like a bonfire. She saw the love in them and recoiled, or at least she tried to.

Naruto's arms jerked her body towards him even as her hands slammed into his chest and pushed. With his palms flat against her arched back, he began to pull her into him slowly, inexorably closing the distance between her chest and his.

Titus stepped forward but a heavy claw reached down and clamped onto the juncture of his long neck and shoulders. Looking up at his father, the eldest of the clan gently shook his head negatively bidding him to stay put. Ella had volunteered of her own free will to perform the bond and, once initiated, had to be seen through to the end without interruption. Part of the reason the elder wyrm had allowed the female to retreat into her cavern was to hide the clan's shame at her abandoning the failed dual bonding her original summoner and he'd made no secret of how this was seen as her final chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the _Umihebi_. Failure here only had one possible outcome, and, despite his frustration, Titus subsided to watch the undeniable conclusion.

Ella began to cry outwardly now, her sobs turning to mewling pleas for him to release her but she saw stern-eyed discipline in the human's eyes before her. Her palms had become fists, helpless human fists that disgusted her. They reminded her so much of Mito-chan and her sobs increased. _'Why did she have to leave me? Why did she abandon me to this?!'_

He'd pulled her in close now, her arms folded until her elbows were jammed into his sternum and her upper body nearly turned sideways. Why couldn't he just let her fade away? Why couldn't he just let her worthless life end peacefully? She couldn't save Mito-chan. _She couldn't save anyone!_

Then it happened. Her right shoulder and ribcage made contact with his chest and heat flooded her entire being. Despite her valiant fight, he'd turned her enough to sit her body across his lap as his arms snaked the rest of the way around her shoulder and waist. She felt tired and the chakra transfer slowly began to dwindle. It took several more minutes before the green glow pouring from his body faded to nothingness but by then her tears were flowing freely, her shoulders shaking as love, his love for her, assaulted her on all sides.

She could also feel Opal's love through the bond and the deep-seated worry caused by her own selfish refusal to move on past the one great tragedy of her life. Exhausted, bruised, and beaten into submission, the great echidnae of the _Stormbringers Sect_ collapsed into a deep slumber wrapped safely in the arms of her new summoner, her still teary face nestled deep in the cleft of his neck and shoulder.

~III~

 **~ Two Days Later… ~**

Ellamus stirred from a deep slumber, the familiar smells of her cavern in the grotto comforting to her extremely keen senses. She liked the cool dampness of her home as it often suited her… wait, her usual melancholy just wasn't there. She felt lighthearted; a disturbingly unfamiliar feeling of warmth nestled deep inside her armored chest. At least she was back in her normal form and felt unassailable.

Eyes still clamped shut, her neck unwound as she stretched languidly relishing the creaking pops as her back aligned. She felt full of life for some reason and had the unwelcomed desire to swim out and hunt. She was ravenous, more so than usual but, for some odd reason, she had no urge to fight it. She needed to be in prime form for when he-."

Memories of the bonding struck, and her eyes snapped open to confirm her location.

Yes, she was in what passed for her sleeping quarters. She lay wrapped into a half circle with her tail curled around her hindquarters, forelegs, and tucked under her chin, the fan blades folded safely away as was her norm. As her eyes adjusted to the inky blackness of her cave, her nose picked up two additional scents while her ears registered their identical heartbeats, heartbeats beating in time with her own.

The great echidnae's head swung down on her elongated neck, a smile creasing her beaked maw as she registered how really physically good she felt. The bonding had changed her making her disgustingly healthy and it was all _his_ fault. Her eyes locked in on the blond form reclining up against her side and she tried to fight the urge to hug the extremely warm male to her cold body. Instead, she stared at his peacefully slumbering form, all traces of blood from his eyes long gone, as she lamented her cursedly healthy existence.

Ella gently shook away the morose feelings of depression knowing that her sleeping summoner would feel them as well and she wasn't exactly wanting to deal with an awake teen at the moment. Despite her frantic fight for escape during the ceremony, a memory that made her flush with shame, she'd felt the mutual feelings of desire welling up at their intimately close embrace. Despite knowing such feelings were a byproduct of their merging, she could not argue he was attractive as most humans went. While not forbidden, it wasn't something she was comfortable with just yet. If he didn't die on her, they would have time to sort such things out later.

Her graceful neck swung her head out over the edge of her bowl-shaped ledge to the ivory shadow of her baby sibling and she smiled despite herself. The _Lifegiver_ was curled up on the cavern floor of her home still fast asleep. So long as she remained the eldest summons, the summoner would sleep here whenever he came to the Grotto to train his new bloodline, correction… _bloodlines_. A quick scan of his chakra network confirmed that his partially cracked tenketsu pathways had survived the onslaught, despite her best efforts to kill him, and had expanded enormously. The boy had a disgusting amount of chakra to begin with, almost twice what Mito-chan had at her prime, and that amount, as well as the tubes that carried it, was now double in size. She could feel the slumbering bijū through their full bond and, if Ella had to take a guess, the boy now had almost a third of the energy housed within the bur-, no, the Kyuubi.

She would have to get used to the symbiotic lifestyle. They would be allies now and all four would have to share the summoner in some fashion.

Of course, this meant the boy's chakra control would have been halved if not outright destroyed. He would not be happy about that, however, the two echidnae would help him recover that lost control and push beyond with his new training regimen. He would need to be unstoppable if he was to survive his enemies.

It wouldn't be long before the news of a new summoner to the Celestial Clan would make the rounds in and throughout the summoning realm. That meant their human counterparts would soon know and that meant more enemies would be seeking his head.

The _Umihebi_ would be a threat once again.

With a sigh, she rolled over onto her back, one clawed hand gently scooping up the gently snoring boy and laying him flat along the softer scales of her underbelly, his head resting in the center of her now restored arms. A small smile crossed her muzzle, before she could bury it in a frown of annoyance, at the sight of the twin echidnae tattoo on his chest. She'd noticed Opal's pale form now intertwined with a darker representation of Ella's forming an odd coiling version of the yin-yang symbol on his chest. With the full bonding complete, a large pearl had manifested in the center representing the oracle with kanji for "He Who Walks the Path" trailing vertically through the gem's center.

 _'You will no longer walk alone.'_ It sounded campy even as she thought it and she sighed at the suddenly mushy emotion. This new bond would take some getting used to, but the boy had earned some measure of her respect. It would be a long time before he earned her heart despite the urgings of their new link.

Her body began to shrink and compress, the flat scales of her underside swelling to be replaced by the annoying globes of fat that caused human males to stare and ogle. She almost regretted it immediately as the snoring male began to drool into the massive valley of her non-drool-repellant cleavage.

"Ugh," she muttered tearing out a chunk from a worn blanket and stuffing it between his face and her chest. She would have to work on his sleeping habits if this was to become the norm.

Despite her drool-covered revulsion, she smiled. It might not be as bad as she thought.

"It's a bit early…"Minō began making Ella roll her eyes at their lack of respect for her privacy.

"To be breeding your summoner…" Nectamia continued, Ella's eyes swiveling over to glare hatefully at the two smaller muzzles peering down into her bowl.

"Isn't it?" they concluded at the same time.

To be honest, she found them annoying in the extreme. How they'd weaseled their way into Opal's life was beyond her, but she chucked that up to her abandoning her sibling when she should have been mentoring her. Now they'd been assigned as his personal messengers and Ella was stuck with them, a very… unpleasant… realization to say the least. She would much rather have had Amabie; at least she was respectful and by far the fastest of the messenger sect. Instead, Ella would have to bear with their less-than-desirable traits, for now.

She also knew them as the rampant gossip queens of the Clan and her denying any attempt to breed the boy, despite being physically unable to bear hatchlings with their dissimilar biology, would only spur them on. She decided to ignore the insinuation outright.

"You'd better have a good reason for invading my den without leave to enter or our new summoner will need to find a new pair of messengers." The two smaller wyrms blanched, fading briefly from their familiar midnight purple to a pale grey.

"Poseidus, while pleased at the boy's success, says that he must return home soon. He apologizes for the interruption to the bonding cycle but the shinobi of his village have grown concerned at his disappearance and are assembling search teams to seek him out."

Ella _tsked_ audibly, her frown turning from the sisters to the slumbering male with his face propped up between her breasts, mounds the size of his head she noticed absently. She hadn't had enough time to bond with him and would need at least a week before she had enough chakra to inhabit the array on his chest. His memories were still a fuzzy blur in her mind, and she wanted to see how he lived among the hateful creatures that destroyed the Uzumaki she loved more than life itself. She would have to make him promise to summon them both soon so they could begin his training… and resume their bonding process. Normally a summoner would stay with her for at least a month while they adapted.

This would not do. This would not do at all.

"Tell my father I will bring him shortly. He needs to be made aware of a few things before he returns to those hateful creatures." The duo nodded in response as they slipped quietly away, their voices already whispering energetically.

"I am not happy that our time together has been interrupted," she whispered to his sleeping face. Despite her insistence on not caring for the boy, she hugged him tightly to her human-like body smirking as his lips fluttered against one the bulging orbs of her chest. Idly she wondered if she could smother him to death with her bosom before taking one of the massive blobs in hand and smacking him gently in the face, his brow wrinkling in irritation as he fought the need to awaken.

Perhaps his reaction would be entertaining…

~III~

 **~ Konohagakure, Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~**

"What do you mean 'he hasn't been seen in forty-eight hours?'"

The rest of Team Ten stood ramrod straight before the Hokage and his ANBU Commander, _Dragon_. At the moment, the tense question had come from the agitated ANBU standing to his right even as the upper corner of the Hokage's office turned into a winter wonderland; it was suspected that the corner was inhabited by _Neko_ during this watch shift and her concern for the Gaki was well-known among ANBU and non-ANBU alike.

Asuma chimed in. "We split up after our last mission report, my Genin going to Yakiniku Q for dinner with most of Team Seven. Naruto left earlier being unable or unwilling to partake of _certain_ company and that was the last anyone had seen of him. Repeated efforts by his team to check in on him have turned up unsuccessful." The two on the far side of the desk were well aware of the Haruno girl and her antagonistic relationship with Naruto.

Ino's teeth clenched, the grinding from her molars catching the attention of everyone in the office. She'd been frustrated at not being allowed access to the complex Naruto was reported to now live in since the attack on his old apartment. Girlfriend status did not make her privy to the S-ranked secret that was his current living arrangement unless he specifically shared it with her, something she planned to rectify the moment he was found again (after she pummeled him to death for disappearing without telling her first so she could revive him with mouth to mouth).

"His new place?" the Hokage asked nervously.

"No response. His seals work is surprisingly… strong," the younger Sarutobi confessed. Under any other circumstances, Hiruzen would have been extremely proud of the young Uzumaki.

"Dragon," the Hokage began turning to task his strongest shinobi with sending a sapper squad to break down the boy's sealing network only to have the door to his office burst open admitting a ragged looking Naruto Uzumaki. The exhausted and pale-looking boy had barely closed the door before a blond blur tackled him into the wooden portal, the girl's arms cinching up his waist in a bone-crushing hug.

"Hey, Asuma-sensei! Hokage-jiji! Dragon-sama! What'd I miss?" Before anyone could answer the glib greeting, Naruto's world exploded into stars as the rock-hard fist of his genteel girlfriend crashed into his skull driving him into the floorboards.

~III~

* * *

 _ **[A/N: Odd Facts and Stuff]**_

* * *

[ _Takarabune no Tabi_ ] literally means _Voyage of the Takarabune,_ or "Treasure Ship." The Takarabune is the mystical conveyance of the Seven Gods of Fortune, otherwise referred to as The Seven Lucky Gods, a relevant concept as Naruto will need to channel their blessings if he is to succeed in his endeavors.

The following excerpt is a pretty succinct description of the Seven provided courtesy of G-Shock's watch line dedicated to the Japanese pantheon, artwork courtesy of Toshikaza Nozaka:

" _The Seven Lucky Gods are worshipped as part of a Japanese belief system derived from a blending of indigenous and Buddhist beliefs, and refers to the seven gods Ebisu, Hotei, Benzaiten, Bishamonten, Daikokuten, Jurōjin, and Fukurokuju. The gods originate from various backgrounds, including Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and the Shinto faith, and if one pays homage to the Seven Lucky Gods, one is protected from the seven misfortunes and will receive the seven blessings of happiness, as described in the Humane King Sutra. Belief in the Seven Lucky Gods dates from the end of Japan's Muromachi period, was widespread among the people of the Edo period, and has continued into the present day."_

~III~


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** The bonding with two of the _Umihebi_ is a powerful boon, even if it isn't meant to be permanent in this timeline. I know what some of you are thinking but don't confuse it with an instant power up. Naruto is going to have an uphill battle just to regain the lost control that took him 8 months to build up and he only has 3 months to do it in this time. He will have next to zero opportunity to learn new ninjutsu let alone do more than developing a budding affinity for anything new. Not to mention he has no idea how to use either "gift" from his bonded summonses (Mokuton/ Ranton, never mind he has no idea if he's even developed one of the vaunted Uzumaki bloodline traits). No gain without struggle, as they say.

Also, without his chakra control, his _Tetsuken_ just got knocked down to the starting blocks.

As a reminder, Titus mistakenly believes that the Kongo Fusa (Adamantine Sealing Chains) is a by-product of the bonding process. They are not. Bonding with the Umihebi quickens the development of Uzumaki bloodline traits making the discovery of either talent (either the chains or the healing bite) easier but the latent ability is inherent in the royal line of the Clan (in this fic anyway and not in canon) and doesn't give much opportunity to disprove the theory given the few that developed the ability. Note that Karin's talent is still raw and unrefined as she isn't bonded.

In this chapter, we finally get to advance the story plot with another important piece (several actually) involving the ANBU.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 28: Making the First Move**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _Ino's teeth clenched, the grinding from her molars catching the attention of everyone in the office. She'd been frustrated at not being allowed access to the complex Naruto was reported to now live in since the attack on his old apartment. Girlfriend status did not make her privy to the S-ranked secret that was his current living arrangement unless he specifically shared it with her, something she planned to rectify the moment he was found again (after she pummeled him to death for disappearing without telling her first so she could revive him with mouth to mouth)._

 _"His new place?" the Hokage asked nervously._

 _"No response. His sealing work is surprisingly… strong," the younger Sarutobi confessed. Under any other circumstances, Hiruzen would have been extremely proud of the young Uzumaki._

 _"Dragon," the Hokage began turning to task his strongest shinobi with sending a sapper squad to break down the boy's sealing network only to have the door to his office burst open admitting a ragged looking Naruto Uzumaki. The exhausted and pale-looking boy had barely closed the door before a blond blur tackled him into the wooden portal, the girl's arms cinching up his waist in a bone-crushing hug._

 _"Hey, Asuma-sensei! Hokage-jiji! Dragon-sama! What'd I miss?" Before anyone could answer the glib greeting, Naruto's world exploded into stars as the rock-hard fist of his genteel girlfriend crashed into his skull driving him into the floorboards._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure, Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~**

* * *

Normally Kyuubi would have been unhappy with her container being struck by another miserable human, however, the girl had been within her rights, having previously laid claim to him as a mate, the moment he ghosted his team without letting them know of his destination or the potential risks if he'd failed. The blond human with the pleasing and still developing haunches would be allowed special dispensation concerning her desire to breed kits with the boy, something that might both do him some good if it tempered his rasher behavior and provide her with entertainment in the form of small kits to entertain her later. She _tsked_ quietly in her den, a word that made her smile happily vice the former cage it was before, and settled in to watch the rest of the show as her host shook off the blow to his skull once the clingy girl dragged him to stand before the old man. Kyuubi absently noticed how she placed him between herself and the boy with the oddly shaped head, almost as if she feared he might vanish again without warning.

She cared for him greatly and the great youko allowed the corners of her mouth to soften at an older memory from a happier time.

A rustling of cloth caused her eyes to flicker from the colorful images in the swirling water flowing through the channel at her feet and onto the slightly duller representation of her long-absent roommate.

" **I thought you'd been devoured by the Shinigami by now,"** she groused. The wild-maned Kenshin Uzumaki stared back with a disappointed grimace.

"Oh, ye of little faith." Kyuubi snorted and turned her gaze back to the picture as Naruto's free hand waved about, his other trapped in the strong grip of his future mate, something she noticed he did not object to overly much as the girl's assets pressed against his upper arm. She was filling out admirably much to the older flesh bag's red-cheeked approval.

" **You will have to face him sooner or later, only later will now include two very protective** _ **echidnae**_ **from that clan of monsters. You cannot hide in the seal forever."** The tanned face winced beneath the wild locks of the Uzumaki Clan he did not truly belong to.

"All in due time," he replied softly as his eyes turned to watch the scene as it played out. He designed the seal to fail gradually as the boy absorbed the bijū's youki, which meant he still had years to go but yes, eventually it would fade (along with him) and he'd be forced to deal with his son before the remainder of his soul was claimed by the death god.

Until that moment, he still had time. And hope.

~III~

"…and they returned me to Konoha once I was rested enough to wake up and move on my own." Naruto's nervous shuffling of the feet made everyone suspicious, especially the piercing pair of pale blue eyes locked on his face from his right side.

"Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in your usual spot, Ino?" Her response was ironclad, borderline hostile, as she enunciated her single-word answer clearly.

"Pos-i-tive." He gulped nervously refusing to make any sudden moves.

For some reason, Ino felt her new beau was hiding something from her about these summonses of his but she couldn't quite place it. The secret was nagging at her brain and his rampant blush during several pausing stumbles in that story made her want to ferret out the hidden truth even more. He'd only be able to hide it under "clan secrets" for so long, the last remaining walls coming down once he walked her sexy tail down the aisle and she claimed the title of Uzumaki Clan Matron before the entire village.

If she knew his blush was because he was trying to forcibly repress the memory from his wake-up call of Ella-chan's soft breast repeatedly bopping him on the nose and face, she'd have been less supportive of his still-pending request to train with the clan during the year following the Chunin Exams, as insisted upon by Poseidus the Clan Patron.

"You will have to register the contract with the records office, Naruto." The boy nodded once.

"Of course, Hokage-jiji. Just know that the summoning clan is tied to the Uzumaki and not Konoha." The comment made the older man sigh as he was hoping to revive the powerful beasts under the Konoha symbol. The return of the powerful Celestials would be a powerful deterrent for Iwa and Kumo.

"Perhaps we have time to change your heart." His smile was hopeful. "I'd plan on the Council wanting to meet one of them as a rendering will be needed for the official registry."

Naruto nodded once. "They won't be able to answer a summons for at least a week as the ceremony took a great deal out of them." _Dragon's_ body jerked but it was enough for the movement to catch the Genin's eye.

"You… you have two personal summonses?" the masked terror sputtered out.

Naruto's grin became positively feral, something that caused the young Yamanaka's cheeks to flush pink. "I do, one from each sect." He lifted his shirt to reveal an addition to his Opal-hime tattoo, as he called it; a midnight-blue sea serpent intertwined with the pale one forming a half-dark/ half light spiral of spikes, tails, fangs, and claws. In the center was now a smooth sphere with kanji flowing vertically down its center but he dropped the shirt before _Dragon_ could get a good look.

That comment, boosted by the modified marking, caused the masked figure to stumble backwards half a step, a movement that everyone noticed. Naruto filed it away for later discussion even as the tall figure recovered quickly.

"Hokage-sama," _Dragon_ began, "I believe we need to clear up that visitor issue first thing next week. The boy appears drained and his chakra appears out of control." Dragon turned back to the blond male. "I assume your chakra control is shot to pieces?"

Naruto's nod brought a heavy sigh from his sensei while the oldest shinobi in the room nodded once.

"Perhaps his team could escort him home to make sure he is not attacked while at a severe disadvantage?" It wasn't really a question but more like a cleverly disguised suggestion, one Ino took as a direct order while she pulled the weakened boy towards the exit. Asuma bowed a hurried retreat and raced to oversee the chaos that was about to ensue.

Once they were gone, Hiruzen turned to his partner in crime with a rushed, "Spill it. Tell me what you know of his new summons." His answer came in the form of mechanized laughter.

"Sorry, Hokage-sama. It's Clan business and you'll have to wait for the big reveal to the Council, what he's willing to share with them anyway."

Hiruzen's pout almost made the disguised kunoichi wail with laughter. "Let's just say that he's developed the potential to become the most powerful shinobi ever to walk the streets of Konoha, bar none."

The old man's eyes goggled at the teaser, his mind thinking he'd been way too old for this crap several decades ago.

"So, the Gaki needs to rebuild his chakra control to where it was between now and the exams." The white-maned Sannin faded into view over near the open window. "That's going to be difficult with Asuma having to train all three of them for the first two stages."

 _Dragon_ waved it off as inconsequential. "His summonses will assist with that." The older pair seemed suspicious of the ANBU Commander's intimate knowledge but lost the chance to query the mysterious being as he faded into the woodwork, literally.

"That man frightens me," the Toad Sage admitted unabashedly.

"You and I both, Jiraiya." The old man stoked and relit his cooling pipe. "Now, let's discuss this plan once more for the pending invasion we believe might happen."

The old man's eyes goggled as the sage slapped down two pictures of faces he'd seen recently, one he was very familiar with and the other a more recent glimpse that struck his fancy as he'd marveled how attractive the young woman at the medic's side appeared at first glance. His eyes flickered up from the smiling faces to ask the silent question on his mind and this student responded with a terrifying grin.

"Say hello to Orochimaru's most dangerous infiltrators of Konoha no Sato."

Hiruzen's sinking feeling of age returned with a vengeance.

~III~

Guren tried to lay there as impassively as possible, her head turned to the same image on the wall shelf that had become her mental safe haven as the now sweaty pervert grunted out the dregs of his energy into her limp body. Kabuto had returned early in the afternoon from his "information gathering" angry and frustrated at another failure and this had become his "normal" response for failing the man she'd once viewed as perfect in every way.

Shortly after they'd left the Oto lab and began the journey to Konoha, Kabuto tried to force himself on her and she resisted. She fought with every fiber of her being only to learn that chakra scalpels could, in fact, penetrate the thin layer of crystal armor she used to protect herself. Kabuto, bastard that he was, took his time with her then not bothering to heal her until he was finished, fed, and well-rested the following morning.

Oh, how she hated him, seethed inside swearing his day would come. She swore on every vengeful kami she knew, and a few she didn't, that he'd pay before all was said and done and that he'd know she betrayed him as he died.

Until then, she sent her mind somewhere else. She was required to be obedient. She was not required to make things enjoyable for the bastard.

Her head and chest wobbled minutely with his increasingly erratic efforts to bring himself pleasure and she figured that the end was fast approaching. Soon she'd be free to scour her body in the shower, the anti-conception jutsu learned by most kunoichi involved in seduction missions her one bastion to the endless misery that was her current existence.

Oh, how his touch sickened her. Her eyes snuck a quick glance at his glistening face, eyes squinted closed as his mouth slowly opened to form what he considered a look of pure ecstasy. It made her want to jam a crystal kunai into one of his eyes and retch in his face but, before he could sense her growing revulsion, she snapped her eyes back to the orchid vase resting on the shelf of his tiny apartment.

She found a small measure of peace in the constantly changing arrangement of flowers, her new pastime.

He wasn't an incredibly gifted performer, just being large enough that she could feel him rutting around inside her. Her stomach clenched in nausea which only appeared to spur Kabuto on all the more, his motions becoming more frantic as he mistook her convulsions for an approaching orgasm. In the end, his body tensed, his frantic motions jerking to a halt as a sickening warmth filled her core. With a final grunt, he rolled off of her now sweat-dampened body with a satisfied sigh while his breathing slowly normalized. Without a backward glance or comment, Guren rose from the rumpled covers and stalked into the bathroom where the sound of running water filtered back into the general apartment.

"Guren, I need you to step up your efforts to locate the seal." He didn't need to explain further, the woman's acknowledging grunt reaching his ears indicating the message had been received. "They couldn't have moved it too far from its former place."

Kabuto glanced in the direction of the bathroom as he donned his trademark glasses, his mind contemplating joining his new toy for a quick shower. He knew that she abhorred him, but he didn't much care. There wasn't much she could do to stop him without garnering Orochimaru's wrath. His master had given her to him after all and Kabuto's disappearance, while it would be an unpleasant inconvenience to the Sannin, would be enough to return her to the experimentation table, a place she hated even more than she hated him.

In the meantime, he needed to locate the jinchuuriki and verify his current status. The Uchiha was ridiculously simple to find, the boy having no sense of modesty or humility. The Uzumaki heir, however, had vanished from the light of day following the attack on his old apartment building, something Orochimaru-sama had made abundantly clear was unacceptable to his hobbled visitor. They had no idea where the one-eyed cockroach had scurried off to, but he didn't particularly matter at this point.

Orochimaru had almost everything he needed to continue with the invasion in three months' time even if it meant hiding out in the Suna desert for the last few months.

Shaking the sand out of the latest missive delivered by snake summons, Kabuto relished the quickly-hidden look of disgust at his naked body from his live-in mistress and settled in to map out the latest patrols of a village he hoped to see burn to the ground in the very near future.

~III~

Sunday morning was normally a very quiet day in Konoha. Naruto usually spent the day resting avoiding everyone and everything as he recovered from a stressing week of training, missions, and studying to advance his impressive list of skills. Sundays were a sacred affair meant to rest and gather himself for the upcoming week. Unfortunately, an intense team driven by his new girlfriend and worried sensei meant his Sundays, at least for the near future, would be anything but normal.

Team Ten missed their regularly scheduled Saturday night at the Grand Oak, an odd occurrence that brought a concerned Anko Mitarashi to his door at two in the morning wearing a very slinky, hip-hugging dress upon her return from the club. Aside from being dragged out of bed at the ungodly hour and smothered into her low-plunging neckline, much to the irritated emotions of his summonses flooding his link with their protective desires (and an amazingly strong urge from Opalto pummel the purplette bloody), it only got worse once a sleepy-headed Ino stormed into the living room and snatched her equally sleepy boyfriend from the woman's surprised clutches, her boyfriend's extra long tee shirt barely enough to cover her high-cut lace panties and wide-curving hips. A very disgruntled Anko slinked off to return another day – when a certain clingy girlfriend would not be around to interrupt her.

An unusually tense breakfast hours later led to an introspective Naruto looking out over his former training ground in the slums, his worried teammate standing just behind him as his hands came up to make a familiar seal.

Always impressed with Naruto's gift with Shadow Clones, Ino's face gaped at the hundred copies of Naruto staring back at them with concern. It was as the billowing torrent of smoke drifted up and away with the gusting breeze that she noticed the huffing face of her blond teammate. Kneeling on the ground, hands pressed flat against the still damp earth, she'd never seen him this close to exhaustion.

The clones began shaking their heads with concern as they all looked to her as if expecting some sort of explanation as to what was to happen next. Ino didn't have anything to reassure them with so she did the next best thing. She improvised.

"His control is shot as we all know. The best thing we can do for him is to help him improve." She pointed to one cluster. "You twenty-five, start with the leaf floating exercise," the group breaking off with a brisk, "Ossu!" before stalking off to find leaves to float on whatever appendage they could. "You twenty-five, find a tree and start climbing," she rifled off to the next group. "The rest, break off into groups of ten and start running through whatever elemental affinity exercises you were doing before."

The remaining clones snapped sharp salutes while Ino helped drag her panting boyfriend over to an unmolested tree. Placing her back against its bark, she pulled his shoulder blades up against her body and began stroking his chest in small circles.

"Rest Naruto. You need to rebuild your chakra while your clones work on rebuilding your control." Despite his helpless frustration, his eyes slid closed as he listened to the steady beating of her heart while a hundred copies failed to climb halfway up their chosen trees or struggled to keep a single leaf floating in the center of their palms.

His only saving grace was that both Ella and Opal were awake and visiting him via their link, Naruto finding himself mildly shocked by the slightly less hostile older _echidnae_. Ella-chan, as he'd taken to calling her much to her blushing consternation, spent the first ten minutes of their discussion fussing over his peaked appearance and noticeable lack of both chakra and chakra control. Oddly enough, she reminded him of the smothering mother hen from his brief stint in the orphanage minus the frumpy physique.

Kami she was gorgeous now that her pale and emaciated body had filled out now flushed with their intermixed chakra.

Once the nitpicking eased up, his attitude changed for the better once the more experienced summons began discussing a new exercise to help restore his lost chakra control…

~III~

By Monday morning, his control had marginally improved. A late Sunday-night conversation with his tenant helped to provide additional insight into his miserable condition once Ino had to return home to her worried parents and he was finally able to sever the link with his personal summonses.

The _Umihebi_ had converted nearly three-quarters of his chakra into the thicker version the Uzumaki Clan was famous for, but he hadn't learned to tap into it yet. While his vast "normal" reserves were still refilling rather quickly, his expansion (and reinforcement) of his chakra network meant that his usable chakra reserves had shrunk to barely Kage levels immediately after the bonding. The Kyuubi estimated that he had a tail's worth of what she called "sludge-like" Uzumaki chakra and reserves large enough for two tails worth of what she called "pathetic monkey energy."

The fact that a measly one hundred clones evaporated that much energy but didn't kill him meant that, as long as his Uzumaki chakra reserves remained, he couldn't necessarily die from chakra exhaustion once he exhausted his normal reserves. Unfortunately, it would leave him virtually helpless until he either learned to tap into the vastly denser chakra, Kyuubi's youki refilled his flagging reserves via the seal, or regained his normal level of control.

Naruto found himself back in the slums running through physical exercises with Ino, all in attempting to regain some semblance of control despite his resistance seals being reduced back to two times normal gravity. Kicking himself mentally as they trudged around Konoha for the fifth time, he winced at the realization that Ino's seals were barely a quarter below his own now and the girl was barely puffing at all as he struggled alongside her just to keep up.

It was going to be a painfully long recovery especially when he realized he didn't have enough control to summon a toad bigger than Gamakichi without keeling over. The normally cheerful toad shook his head from side to side as he vanished to let the Gama brothers know about Naruto's current condition, his flippered hand snagging the proffered bag of treats his still gasping summoner lobbed in his direction.

Morning training with the rest of the team went little better. Shikamaru ran rings around him in the sparring area, something that stunned both Ino and Asuma to the point that Naruto was asked to take a seat to catch his breath before resuming chakra control exercises for the day.

Their worried faces said it all; if he couldn't recover, the Chunin Exams would be well beyond their reach this time.

By the time Konoha's skyline was darkening into its familiar canvas of orange and purple hues, a thoroughly worn out Naruto Uzumaki was stumbling into his more modern apartment building. His horrible control and constant exertion through the day kept his normal reserves at just above Genin levels meaning his arms and legs felt like lead. For a brief moment, he seriously considered passing out and showering in the morning, but the day's grit and grime were beginning to chafe something awful.

Turning at the last minute to stumble into his bathroom, his hands peeling his sweat-covered tee shirt halfway up his bruised and battered body, Naruto froze as a familiar pounding shuddered his apartment door. Despite knowing a summons this late meant nothing good for the weary Genin, he held his breath and prayed to Inari-sama that the visitor would just go away, a prayer he was still feverishly mumbling under his breath when the next round of pounding shook him fully alert with a snarling hiss escaping his mouth.

Instead, he muttered a quick thank you to his tenant when he felt the familiar burning rush of her youki flooding the seal to be converted into chakra to refill his nearly empty tank.

Yanking the shirt back into place, Naruto stormed across his apartment and flung open the door revealing the stoic mask of a familiar crane ANBU poised to re-announce his presence with his knuckles. Naruto's left eyebrow twitched even as he swore that he could hear the taller figure snicker under his mask.

He chose to ignore his growing suspicion and held out his palm to receive the black-ringed scroll _Kurēn_ slapped into it with churlish glee. Without a single word, the still chuckling agent vanished in a swirl of wind and leaves.

Already exhausted (and now extremely cranky), Naruto stalked across the village as the final rays of sunlight faded in the purple shadows of dusk. He could hear his normally silent footsteps slapping the bottom of his sandals along the cobblestones of the main thoroughfare. In his fatigued haze, he nearly trudged directly to the section of the Market District where his initiate entrance lay, only instinct (and fear of _Dragon_ ) kicking in at the last moment as he paused at the _Dango Stop_ , Konoha's premier purveyor among shinobi of the delicacy, to glance absently at the menu saved him. His eyes flickered to the reflective trim underneath the menu in time to catch the cause of his itching shoulder blades duck behind a street café's table umbrella.

Taking several deep breaths to mimic indecisiveness, he frowned at the sulking reflection of one Sasuke Uchiha.

Stepping back to motion for another to order ahead of him, he ducked into the single-stall restroom and locked the door. Five minutes later, he emerged and took one final look at the menu before sighing and exiting the shop on a decidedly different mission in the opposite direction towards his favorite ramen noodle stand, the sound of clinking coins from one of his pockets jingling in time with his still weary pace.

Not thirty seconds after the blond made a beeline for his standard late-night fare, a non-descript brown-haired boy with chocolate eyes stepped out of the store, glanced once at the blond's retreating back and the slinking red and white fan following his double, then sauntered off in the opposite direction with a jaunty whistle to guide his steps. He had no idea why the broody bastard was suddenly stalking him but he didn't have time to sort it out right now.

Fifty-one minutes from the time of the original summons, a now Sasuke-free blond gave the coded knock that slid open a cleverly concealed doorway guarded by a smug bird-faced ANBU.

"Cutting it close this time, aren't you?" He could almost feel the gangly ANBU's irritation behind the emotionless mask.

[Needed to lose a snitch.] _Kurēn's_ eyebrows rose underneath his mask at the Genin's growing facility with hand signs and the hinted at threat. Rumors of his chakra being shot may have been accurate, but it did not appear to alter his facility at the silent tongue. With an approving nod, the gangly black ops agent stepped aside to let him pass just under the hour deadline.

Changing under the watchful gaze of a familiar purple-headed feline, Naruto found himself trudging less gracefully than his last appearance into the same darkened amphitheater, his personal halo of light awaiting his arrival. With an exhausted nod to a familiar-looking female initiate (one whose eyes lingered a bit longer than normal on his sagging shoulders), he settled to a swaying stop only to start at the assembled collection of onlookers for this latest round of "Who Wants to Be A Killer."

He bowed to the Hokage and the ranking ANBU, as was expected. The old pair of advisors were missing much to his surprise, instead replaced by Ibiki Morino and Inoichi Yamanaka, the older man's eyes focused intently on the cloaked initiate to his right. Although not the subject of it, he found Ibiki's intense stare… _disconcerting._

Kakashi Hatake was an odd sight considering none of his Genin were in view, but he figured the man's skill alone made him a suitable replacement for missing members of the tribunal as he sat lazily next to the white-maned man that still tossed around the godfather title even after Naruto fired him. _Tsking_ internally, he swept his eyes over the smug Sannin to smile softly at Iruka's smiling face at the end of the table in his familiar spot as event proctor, more or less.

What really caught his attention were the ANBU faces lining the wall behind the table. A tiny woman with honeyed hair wearing some sort of bird mask was standing next to a larger brown-haired man sporting a goat's mask with curved horns, both of which sported the official cloaks of the ANBU which draped their bodies giving him no hint at their attire or weapons. Next to them stood _Neko_ , similarly bedecked and watching him with a focus intense enough to match Inoichi's.

He felt like dinner before the throng.

Halfway between him at the table of "guests" stood Anko in her _Hebi_ mask. She was haloed in another spotlight and kneeling in front of her was the back of a vaguely familiar kunoichi, her dark hair coiled up into a bun atop her head with several senbon holding the coiffure in place.

Naruto's heart palpitated and his surprise spiked the interest of his summons through the link. Trying to push aside Opal's curiosity, his eyes flickered up to Anko's index and middle fingers as they pointed from his eyes to her own. The message was clear: _eyes front and focus on me_.

"You will maintain standard protocol," she began meaning _'I'll talk while you answer in sign.'_

[Hai, senpai.] Anko's snorted out her chuffing approval of his improved signing facility while the Hokage rose behind her to draw everyone's focus to himself.

"There are a few things that need to be addressed tonight and I'll begin with asking you whether you are ready to face up to your responsibilities, young man." It was not a question that he could tell but the tone made him swallow beneath the balaclava.

[I do not understand, Hokage-sama. Am I being charged with some crime?] The old man snorted.

"No, but this civilian," the man's knife hand indicated the seiza'd female before Anko in the spotlight, "claims to be your war prize as a result of the Nami Escort Mission." Naruto could hear the bones popping in Ino's neck as her head whipped around to face him. He could also feel the heat of her gaze, which forced him to swallow a second time.

[This makes no sense, Hokage-sama. I do not recall defeating her in combat.] Ino caught enough of the silent language to get the general gist of his response.

"That's the issue, _Agent Six-Six-Six_ , the rules governing this archaic practice are based on the overall perception of the situation, including that of the subjugated." Hiruzen glanced down to the stubborn ice user and frowned. "She believes that you defeated her fairly and, as an honorable combatant," Naruto noticed the old man's careful selection of words, "has submitted herself to Konoha as your war prize."

Naruto nearly broke the silence stricture before he caught himself, his eyes nervously darting over to catch the heated glare of Ino's mask as her eye holes continued to bore relentlessly into the side of his head.

[Can I refuse?] Here everyone able to read his signs, including Ino, blinked in surprise but the Hokage answered nonetheless, his face showing a proud smile as he observed the maturity at work in the boy he still considered his surrogate grandson. Naruto noticed the kneeling figure, the clearly feminine flare of her hips and narrow waist, stiffen for a moment before the head bowed in shame.

"Yes, you are allowed to refuse if you so desire. Know that even though this dishonors the other party greatly, it is allowable."

[What happens to her if I do?] Here the old man grimaced.

"Young Haku has three choices." Naruto's eyes dropped to the hunched shoulders of the girl kneeling on the floor as her fingers clenched the fabric of her pleated skirt.

"First and foremost, she has the option to salvage what is left of her honor and take her own life in ritualistic suicide, a most archaic response but still well within her right and very much a part of the...," he struggled to find a suitable descriptor, "tradition." Naruto's face constricted into a rictus of anger at the thought of the girl throwing her life away after everything he did to patch her back together, but it would be her choice after all. He could hardly complain after throwing away her volunteered servitude.

"Second, she could leave Konoha and try to find a way to live her life in peace free of Konoha's, or any other village's, influence." Naruto's unease ebbed slightly thinking that one a decent option until the Hokage kept speaking. "Given that her master, Zabuza Momochi, made her a target of the Kiri hunter nins, as well as every other bounty hunter, through his escapades, I give her chances at a peaceful life to be less than fifteen percent. I expect she would enjoy a few months of quiet, at best, until something forced her to reveal her skills. Or worse yet, live peacefully until someone recognized her from either the Bingo Book or the wanted posters of her and Zabuza posted in both Water and Fire Country meaning the end result would be the same." The old man released a heavy sigh. "If she is captured by Kiri, I expect her life will end abruptly given their bloodline war. Worse still if less scrupulous villains find her, she could always be sold into slavery; trained kunoichi are highly favored in those markets and fetch high prices as playthings and breeding stock, a despicable practice really."

Naruto's heart plummeted into his gut.

[Is option three any better?] The Hokage's frown nearly made him curse aloud.

"Unfortunately, no. While she can petition Konoha for asylum, she would lose her protected status as a war prize under the protection of your house, er, apartment. I expect the Council would test her in short order and force her to choose a career either as a kunoichi in the regular Corps or as a combat medic given her remarkable fighting and medical skills."

Naruto almost dared to hope…

"In either event, her rare _Hyoton_ Kekke Genkai would inevitably force her into the CRA where she would be forced to bear children until a male with the same bloodline could be born. At which point, the child would, in turn, enter the CRA in order to restore the clan here in Konoha." Hiruzen was laying the doom and gloom on a bit thick and hated doing so, still his need to prevent Naruto from throwing away a potential boon to Konoha continued to force his aged hand. He knew no one in the chamber would try to argue him down so he bit back his own curses and pushed on.

"None of this, of course, is a problem as a respected war prize under the protection of legitimate house or clan." The old man's eyes bore into the porcelain mask of Agent _Two-Nine-Six-Six-Six_ while every stony face watching the boy observed his still twitching hands. His eyes were boring into the shoulder blades of the kneeling female as he pondered the choices hinging on whether his morality would either allow or prevent him from honoring the girl's claim releasing her to a dismal life of objectification.

Naruto felt like throwing up. Only the fear of removing his mask to do so in front of _Dragon_ steeled his nerves. Slowly his head swiveled to lock gazes with Agent _Two-Nine-Eight-Seven-Seven_ as his hands shakily rose to begin the damning series of hand signs signifying his choice.

~III~

Long after the onlookers and substitute observers were departed, the strongest shinobi in the Hidden Leaf sagged near-bonelessly into the high-backed chair of the Black OPS briefing chamber. The years were weighing on him, their call for him to close his eyes and rest, to simply lay down the heavy robes and hat sounding more like the siren's call his old ears interpreted it to be. It was as his gnarled fingers stopped rubbing his bloodshot orbs that they fell on the briefing folders for the night, the uncertainty of a lifetime worth of bad decisions creeping back into his iron façade.

"You wish to voice a concern?" He spoke slowly, deliberately, as if trying to suppress an itch in the back of his throat.

 _Dragon_ tried not to wince beneath the mask at the sound of the man's voice. It was the voice of a parched soul, seeking relief the figure was not about to offer. "I do not agree with leaving hormonal teenagers alone in such a tiny apartment."

Hiruzen sighed already guessing where this was headed.

"He has the loft if he so chooses," the old man deflected, his hands slapping down on the cushioned armrests of his reserved seat as he prepared to stand and hobble away.

"He also has an estate large enough to accommodate an entire clan," came the inevitable response.

"You know as well as I do why that is out of the question." Hiruzen was growing tired of this old discussion, his irritation creeping into the scratchy voice.

"Semantics! He is the clan head according to Uzushiogakure's charter! We've been-."

"Yes, we've been over it and over it," he interrupted with a touch of heat in his voice, "but nothing changes the fact that, according to Konoha law, he cannot reclaim the estate until Chunin or his sixteenth birthday should he retire from active service to become the clan leader full time!"

The old man had risen creakily to his feet by then, the sound of his hip popping audibly as he stood to glower over the shorter woman hiding behind a full body camouflage. His eyes held the old steel of the _Kami of Shinobi_ even if his heart was racing a touch more than it used to.

 _Dragon's_ pause was deliberate before the modulated voice picked up again. "I see what you're doing," came the odd counter. Hiruzen's right eyebrow rose in amusement.

"Do you now?" His near smirk was overly confident.

"You're hoping they'll fall for each other since things aren't moving fast enough for you with the Yamanaka heiress." Hiruzen scoffed but _Dragon_ wasn't buying the deflection. "Yes, if he knocks her up, you know he's honorable enough to marry her and you get both wishes."

The old man's face seemed even more skeptical, but he did not interrupt his ANBU Commander again.

"More plotting to unnecessarily complicate the boy's life." The temperature dropped a few degrees. "Children, perhaps with the Uzumaki bloodline or perhaps with the _Hyoton_ , but a family nonetheless and perhaps and new clan to shore up Konoha's sagging reputation. Not to mention that he can still wed the Yamanaka, and perhaps the Nadeshiko since she's shown signs of capitulating for fear of losing him outright." Hiruzen could see the woman's violet eyes narrowing dangerously behind the androgynous mask's eyeholes as she took a step back and away from him.

"I never thought you could sink so low."

Hiruzen's jaw set as his shoulders stiffened noticeably. "Not for the one," he began but she finished it for him returning the early interruption.

"…but the many," her voice dripping with scorn and derision. _Dragon_ turned to storm from the chamber, boot-encased feet stopping once the door swung open, gloved fingers gripping the metal door hard enough to leave dents shaped like fingertips.

"You are going to need to find another Commander after the Chunin Exams, old man." The dark mask swiveled around to stare hollowly at the stern gaze of the Commander in Chief. "I've walked this road as far as I can with you."

Once the shadowy figure was gone, Hiruzen slid his way back into the overly soft cushion of his chair without the sound of bones creaking and groaning, the hat feeling very heavy on his neck all of a sudden. "You heard all of that, didn't you?" he called out to the once again seemingly empty room.

"Only every fifth word, Hokage-sama." The ram-faced ANBU stepped into the beam of light reflecting off the conical hat.

Hiruzen sighed again, his shoulders heaving as he levered himself back to his feet with ease this time. "Let's get the rest of this night over with so that a tired body can earn a little of its own rest," he croaked out as he puttered towards the exit with his new shadow in-tow.

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Another sigh. "You're never going to stop calling me that, are you?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama." It was delivered evenly despite the huge grin beneath the mask.

Hiruzen groaned even while reaching for his trusty pipe. It was going to be a very long night after all.

~III~

Naruto awoke to the pleasant smell of bacon, eggs, and rice. Surging up from beneath the covers of his bed with a smile on his face, he staggered into the bathroom to attend to a brief morning freshening and relieving process before thudding his way into the small dining area of his apartment. His bright and cheery smile immediately evaporated when the slim figure wearing the sleeping kimono (that barely covered the upper halves of her thighs) turned to smile at him over one slender and partially exposed shoulder.

It was then that the rest of last night's misadventures reminded him of why he got to bed shortly after one in the morning and why this incredibly pretty creature was not the blond woman with his heart wrapped around her little finger.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – ANBU Edition_

" _Good! Now that this little matter has been settled,_ Kurēn _, please escort the young lady to a place where she can await Agent_ Two-Nine-Six-Six-Six's _return."_

 _While Ino was studiously not meeting his gaze, her eyes fixed on the table of V.I.P.'s, Haku's relieved glances conveying buckets full of gratitude as she was quietly herded away. Naruto couldn't help but feel that he was damned if he tried, yet still damned if he didn't try. After an undetermined amount of time, his emotional spiraling crashed and burned right as the Hokage began speaking again._

" _Now that our distinguished visitor has been relocated, Iruka, if you would please." The senior Chunin stepped forward trying to suppress a proud grin as he addressed the ANBU initiates._

" _As you command, Hokage-sama." He stepped briskly forward to pass a thin dossier to the two silent hopefuls, inside of which was an enlarged photo of a young girl with flaming red hair wearing black-framed glasses. Seeing as it was an extreme close-up of her face, her eyes looking off to the side in the photo, Naruto couldn't see the rest of her to assess her health, something he found worthy of distressing over as the photo did capture old bite marks around her collarbones and upper chest._

 _Inside he seethed once his eyes found the name imprinted at the bottom of the picture: Karin Uzumaki. His growing rage was accompanied by the rapid reduction in temperature in his immediate vicinity accompanied by a noticeable rise in static energy, now a wriggling mass of fluorescent blue-white fingers scrabbling across the floor. It was enough raw energy to cause the forearm and exposed hair on everyone in the chamber to stand straight on end and draw the attention of everyone that knew he did not naturally sport a_ Raiton _affinity._

" _A-hem!" The Hokage's protracted throat clearing was enough to snap the boy out of it with a sheepish bow. "Please continue, Iruka."_

" _Before we begin, I would like to be the first to congratulate the two of you on being selected to join the ANBU upon completion of the Chunin Exams."_ Eight-Seven-Seven _signed for the first time of the evening._

 _[We aren't guaranteed the Chunin Rank.] Apparently, someone else practiced just as diligently as Naruto did._

" _This is true; however, successful completion of extremely difficult tasks can result in a meritorious spot promotion." The now grinning instructor let that comment sink in for a moment as Naruto's brief burst of elation gave way to his mind frantically connecting the dots; they hadn't discussed the "extremely difficult tasks" yet to be performed._

" _Also, you need to be aware of your new responsibilities as a prospective gain to the special operations branch." The observers in the room could almost hear the two blinking behind their masks._

" _Full ANBU squads normally consist of four team members, except for heavy combat and sapper units which maintain a squad medic. Keep in mind that medics must meet the same combat proficiency standards as the assault members of their team although the long blade requirement is often waived." He swept his arm to the rear wall._

" _In the back of the room are your new teammates, Team_ Neko _." The three cloaked figures bobbed their heads once in acknowledgment. "You'll be given the opportunity to meet and train with them in two months' time. For now, your primary goal is the restoration of_ Imori's _broken chakra control, and you have six weeks until you are evaluated in front of your new team. If you fail to make sufficient gains by then, these three will take over to help… motivate you."_

 _Naruto's mind was still stuck on his supposed ANBU identity hoping it was a sick prank and someone would come out afterwards to give him a cool fox mask or perhaps a roaring tiger mask._

 _[Fire Newt?] Anko merely snickered much to his dismay. Loudly. In response, Iruka stepped forward and pushed chakra into a hidden seal located on the forehead of his mask while Ino watched from her spot as the blank facemask morphed and bled red and orange streaks into its now lizard-like representation._

 _Inside she cringed hoping her nickname wasn't as cringe-worthy nor her mask equally ridiculous looking._

" _As new gains, part of the ANBU tradition is to supplement the monthly stipend that funds your gear replacement and special gear acquisitions. Regrettably, it isn't nearly enough to keep up with the rapid advances in shinobi tooling nor the wear and tear your gear will experience on a terribly frequent basis. This has led to the 'Newby Tax,' that is a fifty-percent forfeiture of your first three mission pays above D-Rank, either before or after you've joined your squad."_

 _A gentle cough from the squad leader caught the Chunin's attention._

" _Ah! That is correct, thank you, Captain_ Neko." _Iruka turned back to the still shell-shocked hopefuls. "That is unless you have a skill that can make a lasting and hefty contribution to off-set your team's procurement costs. We'll leave that for you to discuss with your teammates later." He motioned to the lightly padded folders in their hands._

" _We have kindly provided you with two missions to help you on your way. The first is the B-ranked reason why you only have six weeks to recover what you can of your control on your own. Two months from now you will travel undercover with your Genin squad, backed up by the remaining members of Team_ Neko _to rendezvous with the Kusa Kunoichi in your folder. Her team will be transiting to Konoha with their Jonin Sensei for the Chunin Exams." He paused to deliberately lock eyes with the newly dubbed "Fire Newt."_

" _Your mission is to make sure the rest of her team never arrives. Just make sure you leave enough evidence to indicate either Iwa or Kumo; we do not particularly care which." Naruto's peripheral vision saw Ino's body tense briefly._

" _Study and memorize her particulars as well as what information we have on her teammates. Specific mission requirements are included, and you are reminded to destroy the evidence before departing the village." His eyes tried to bore through their masks forcing a bone-rattling shiver down Ino's back._

" _The second is a bit trickier and will require a supplemental briefing once you've returned from the first mission." He paused to make sure both masks were fixed firmly on him. "Without assisting the boy in his tasks, you are to surveil Sasuke Uchiha and prevent his death or capture during the second phase of the Chunin Exams, should he make it that far."_

 _Naruto never wanted to curse more than he did at that very moment._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – ANBU Edition – Kai!_

Her grin was entirely too cheerful for his tastes. "One snarky comment from you and you'll be sleeping on my ratty couch permanently." He sulkily breezed past her, his hand reaching for the back of one of the two chairs around the small square object only to freeze and grit his teeth.

"Sure thing, Fig NEWT-on."

He could only shake his head miserably as the perky girl tittered nigh uncontrollably at her own witty pun centered around her favorite treat.

~III~

Three weeks later their blond shield man was beginning to regain some of his swagger as he landed in the normal training area for Team Ten. He was creating up to two hundred and fifty clones without collapsing and his leaf balancing and tree climbing exercises had returned to semi-normal levels of proficiency. His clones were branching out to water walking and more advanced versions of chakra control, which made him feel less useless than before. He'd even been able to summon Gamatetsu for the morning spar beginning the process of rebuilding his almost non-existent _Tetsuken_ skills, a welcome reunion even if he didn't yet have the control to summon both brothers at the same time. None of that meant he was feeling particularly indestructible at the moment, given the sea of eyes watching him like a prized bull at market.

A quick squeeze of Ino's hand to bolster his once-flagging confidence and Naruto stepped forward to bow in the direction of their sensei. Today was going to be a big test for him.

The Council had become anxious once the Hokage revealed the registering of a new summoning clan, the once proud group of civilians badgering the shinobi half of the Council until the Hokage reluctantly agreed that Naruto's chakra control had sufficiently returned to enable revealing one of his personal summonses without endangering his health.

The fact that he reportedly had several of the legendary Celestials at his beck and call made them froth all the more at the mouth, pestering the old man until he'd set a date for the demonstration. Naruto, nervously balancing from one foot to the other, glanced back to his gently smiling Ino-chan (Haku hovering silently just past the girl's left shoulder) as the Hokage, followed closely by _Dragon_ , Jiraiya, Iruka (acting once again as the scribe), Kakashi, Hibiki, Anko, and both halves of the Council, stepped silently into the clearing. Team Ten bowed as Hiruzen nodded in return signifying that he could begin whenever he felt ready.

"Maa, Anko-chan," the Cyclops began jovially to the extremely still Anko Mitarashi, "you seem a bit tense over a simple summoning demonstration." The nervously twitching Snake Mistress never took her eyes off of the somber blond as she spoke.

"You've never faced down one of these… things. If you had, you'd be a bit on edge, _Scarecrow_."

Kakashi's chuckle was almost dismissive. "How bad could they be over the Sannin's massive toads?"

Her bug-eyed, slack-jawed stare as the purplette's head swiveled slowly to lock gazes with him left him blinking stupidly. His lone eye twitched once after she slowly swiveled back to watch the now moving blond, her gaze fixated on his back as if he might spontaneously combust. She conveniently left out her discussion earlier that morning when she asked her summons to come with (in case the sea serpents grew… testy) only for her most cherished companions to vehemently refuse, turning up their noses at the "opportunity" stating flatly that she was "on her own this time."

Naruto turned on his heel and purposefully strode out into the far middle of the large training area much to the confused faces of the Council. When he finally stopped some fifty paces away, he turned around already halfway into the summons, his palm striking the soft grass as an enormous pressure built up across the field of Training Area Ten. The runes raced out twenty meters in all directions uplifting more than a few eyebrows as an explosion of smoke blanketed the entire green space.

Kakashi glanced nervously to the stern-faced Sannin only to snap his head back to the front once a ground-shaking roar vibrated every tree in the clearing sending birds aflutter as far as they could see. Anko's frightened start was caught by more than one pair of startled eyes, each one wondering what could possibly unnerve the terrifying _Snake Mistress_ of Konoha?

Their question was answered the moment the smoke drifted away revealing a wingless dragon of midnight blue with pale electric-white fins jutting from its head and along its spine, its smooth scales glimmering wickedly in the clear Konoha sun as its snake-like tail swished lazily back and forth (Think Game of Thrones final season for a size comparison only less spiky). Resting atop the creature's shoulders stood the red-faced and heavily breathing Genin, his arms wrapped lovingly around the creature's neck as it glared balefully down at all of them.

Large did not begin to describe the creature. Jiraiya noting that, although its height wasn't quite as far-reaching as one of his major toad summonses, its overall length dwarfed the average battle toad. Judging by the agility of its heavily armored and sinuous extremities, he could not easily determine which summoning clan was more deadly, especially as he knew none of the creature's abilities.

The Council began to nervously shout question upon question, some even going so far as to surge forward intent on manhandling the beast. This was apparently not to its liking as the massive creature, easily over eighty meters in length from the tip of his fanged maw to the pointy end of its barbed tail, began crackling with _Raiton_ energy around its claws and muzzle, the angry pops and fiercely burning smell of ozone halting everyone crazy enough to rush the unsettled summons. With its summoner draped helplessly over its shoulders trying to catch his breath, the beast clearly wasn't going to allow anyone near the two of them.

The Hokage quietly nudged the still-gaping Iruka into action, the man's hand flying across the scroll as he began sketching the large sea serpent's image in preparation for the question and answer session that would follow.

Once Iruka indicated that he was finished and that Naruto could release the summons, their confusion only grew as the Genin slid from the kneeling creature's back and removed both his tee shirt and mesh undershirt revealing the twin dragon-like tattoo on his chest. Ino tried not to blush at the combination of muscle and ink (she loved the tattoo and secretly hoped he'd add her image to it one day) but failed miserably. Surprisingly enough, she glanced to her left and noticed a similar reaction from the older Anko, which made her eyebrows furrow in annoyance. Resolving to hash out her issues with the snake summoner sooner rather than later, a now perturbed Yamanaka turned in time to gape with the rest of the assemblage as they watched the enormous reptile elongate and liquify, flowing like a swirling stream of inky water around the Genin's body and into the chest tattoo of her boyfriend.

Naruto, once the older _echidnae_ settled comfortably into the chakra construct on his chest, donned his garments before turning around to meet the shocked stares of everyone in the training area. He could even feel the shocked chakra networks of the ANBU brought to keep onlookers away for the demonstration, the silence of their gaping mouths almost enough to make him snort with laughter.

It was the twitching of his smiling face that burst the dam as the assembly of nosy Konohans rushed forward to begin pelting him with hundreds of questions.

" _How is that possible? How long can it stay in there? Can I have one? How does it survive in there? Can it breathe fire? Where are its wings? Wait, why can't I have one?!"_ Some immediately began demanding that he pledge the clan to Konoha's service claiming Konoha's inevitable superiority with four legendary summonses.

Naruto's grin quickly turned into a rancid scowl revealing several overly pointy teeth in his fanged maw as his headache began to spread, his eyes never catching the catatonic Copy Ninja with his mouth hanging wide open. The man's exposed eye was fixated up and slightly behind him as his mind processed the mythical beast whose presence still lingered after its neat vanishing act.

Next to the elite Jounin and standing gap-jawed at what he understood to be a "not-full-grown-summons" from the Celestial Clan, the once haughty Toad Sage now had an appreciable understanding as to why the _Gama_ deferred to the _Umihebi_.

~III~

Standing in the center of the Council Chamber not twenty minutes later, Naruto was having a difficult time focusing on the annoying questions being shouted all around him. The Hokage had not officially entered yet leaving him to wait with the Council, Dragon, and his sensei (Ino and Haku were both outside glaring at each other in some territorial standoff when Asuma shoved him inside the chamber and slammed the door shut claiming it was for his benefit, whatever that meant).

No, he was being distracted by the _cooing_ bubbling up from his chest through the mental link he shared with Ella-chan. He couldn't describe it any other way other than a trilling warble barely two decibels deeper than a dove in the park after finding a fresh bed of crumbs, the occasional " _Waaarrrrrrmmmmm!"_ or " _Sooooo waaaaaarrrrrrmmmmmmm!"_ bubbling up to break up the monotony.

Suddenly his hand snapped up to catch a rubber pencil eraser flung in the general direction of his head from the Civilian side of the u-shaped table, his eyes snapping over in a hateful scowl as the perpetrator flinched.

"I will answer your questions once Hokage-sama joins us and not before," he snapped out, the petulant merchant, he believed it was the one with the daughter transferring to the medic corps, folding his arms across a pudgy chest in a childish huff. Naruto simply scoffed and tossed the eraser back on to the table in front of the annoying man.

The guy really needed to work on his throwing form but, before that conversation could take place, the Sandaime entered the chamber trailed by a slightly distant _Dragon_ and an ANBU he hadn't seen much of in years, not since his last visit to the Sarutobi Clan home just before beginning the Academy. He fought to keep his face neutral as he watched the decidedly female ANBU glide along in _Dragon's_ wake to stand just to her left along the back wall.

' _Hun, I wonder what_ Rinkusu _is doing here?'_

The thought did not last as, as soon as the chamber doors closed, the interrogation began.

"Name of the summoning Clan?" Iruka began still somewhat awed by what he saw.

" _Umihebi_." Everyone in the room blinked almost in unison.

"Sea snake?" the confused Chunin inquired, his face twisted up into a mask of confusion.

"Serpent, Iruka-sensei. The correct name is 'Sea Serpent.'" The scar-faced shinobi nodded and began scribbling.

"Class of summons, meaning personal, low, common, elite, legendary…" Iruka's voice trailed off as he began to run out of descriptors.

"Celestial," came the terse reply. More scribbling but Naruto could feel the still cooing serpent preening inside the chakra construct.

"Was that the boss summons, Naruto?" The boy shook his head with a smirk.

"No, that was his eldest child. The boss summons appears similar except he has horns and about thirty percent more mass." Everyone except for the two ANBU in the back was openly gaping at this point.

"Last but not least, any notable powers we should be aware of?" Here Naruto paused, his arms folding across his chest as he considered the question.

"Those are clan secrets, Iruka-sensei." Naruto made it clear he wasn't about to answer that question even as the Hokage roared for silence once the Council began shouting their disapproval.

"Need I remind the members of the Council before I open the floor to general discovery that Clans are well within their rights to withhold sensitive secrets?" It really wasn't a question though he almost phrased it as one. "Good."

And just like that, Hiruzen turned a circus frenzy into a fifteen-minute stonewalling session. Naruto ended it by turning around and walking towards the door.

"The Uzumaki aren't a clan of Konoha and therefore aren't entitled to the same protections," a dishwater blond-haired Councilwoman chimed out, her eyes cunning and narrowed to sandy beads. Her comment did manage to stop the Genin before he could stroll right through the chamber doors.

"No, we're a royal clan living in Konoha so that we can uphold our family's treaty obligations." His eyes turned to lock with the conniving Haruno woman. "Are you saying that Konoha is willing to absolve the treaty?"

The silence hung in the air far too long for the Hokage's liking, many suddenly nervous faces bouncing back and forth between the two verbal combatants. Mebuki, for all her scheming and plotting, refused to answer and instead pointedly turned away to stare at the wall on the far side of the room. Apparently, no one, not even Mebuki Haruno, was willing to surrender the power of the _Umihebi_ to an enemy.

Naruto chuffed out an annoyed grunt as he stalked from the room and back to the freedom of his training regimen.

~III~

"This is a bad time for me to be leaving the village," Jiraiya groused. It was already late, and several fine women were anxiously awaiting his return to _The Cherry Blossom_ after his impromptu summons by ANBU to the Hokage's office.

"I wanted to be sure and catch you before things became too unfocused for you." He smirked even as he handed the S-ranked scroll to his impetuous student. Jiraiya snatched it open, read the first two lines, then allowed it to roll closed with a snap like an old-fashioned curtain.

"Ha! Nice try but now is not the time to stroll down memory lane!"

Hiruzen waved off the comment. "This is not optional. We will need her here for the invasion. Make it happen, Jiraiya." The steel in Hiruzen's voice washed away any uncertainty even as his wisened mind continued to refine his real reason for bringing her back.

"I'm taking the Gaki with me then."

"No!" came the iron-clad response from the Sandaime, meaning Jiraiya's petulance immediately burst through.

"He's the best chance I got at winning her over!"

"Nothing can interrupt his training. The village needs him back at his normal level of control as soon as possible," Jiraiya opened his mouth to interject, however, the Hokage steamrolled right over him, " _and_ that means you can take anyone with you other than those directly involved in his training." Hiruzen promptly set his jaw in that stubborn fashion Jiraiya hated so completely.

"Ino?"

"No."

"Anko?"

"No, of course not. You're not going out on an assassination mission!"

"Kurenai?"

"As if! She'd keep you locked in a Genjutsu nightmare the whole time!" Jiraiya scowled. He wasn't that bad, was he? "And stop picking kunoichi because they meet your definition of attractive!"

"Sasuke?"

Hiruzen merely scowled at this.

"Okay, okay, I'll take that as a resounding 'no.' Kakashi?"

"No, already assigned."

"The pineapple-haired Nara boy," the Toad Sage muttered out half-heartedly. To be honest he expected the boy to be committed to Naruto's training program which was why he was pleasantly surprised when the Hokage agreed.

"Done."

Jiraiya blinked and leaped out the window to swing by the mission office before it closed. If he acted quickly enough, he could have the scroll drafted and be out of the village by lunchtime tomorrow.

Tsunade had been the inspiration for many a book in the past, after all.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** This seemed like a good place to break it off. Plans are in motion, schemes are being worked out, and the players are setting up for the first conflict of the final arc. Sorry for the long build-up but a good conflict takes time to set into place.

Until next time,

 _~Siva'a-tasi_


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Back with another update. A couple of quick questions to answer here:

1\. The Umihebi have 3 forms. The first is their natural shape which resembles a large, wingless dragon (they do have arms and legs in this form but no wings) with smooth necks and a tail that ends in a frilled fan, the tines more like sharp blades. Their second-most used form is a shapechange (like Naruto's) but it's limited to a specific human form unique to each serpent. Their third and final form, the one least used, is that of a large snake, either a constrictor for the _lifegivers_ or a viper for the _stormbringers_ ; these forms do not have limbs and the head maintains its original sea serpent shape, to include a mouth full of jagged teeth.

2\. Naruto, when he summoned one to show the Council, summoned Ellamus, the older _stormbringer_ (he describes the clan patron – meaning Poseidus - as a larger version with horns and 30% more mass – Opal looks like her mother while Titus and Ella look like their father). He wanted to make an impression and, while Opal is impressive, she hasn't really gotten the hang of the "big, bad, terribly frightening sea serpent" routine… unless Anko is involved. Naruto wanted to make a frightening impression and Ella-chan is very good at making those that last.

3\. There have been comments about Naruto's anger issues. In the first third of the story, his anger management problems could be directly tied to his fragmented psyche. In the latter portions of the story, his anger became an issue when he was stressed, fatigued, or both, as would any rational person be. I believe my Naruto isn't anywhere near as bad as the canon version belonging to Kishimoto but he's still an Uzumaki. He still has anger issues, his mental aging notwithstanding. Sadly to say, he may still have them for years to come until the ANBU beat some control into him. It doesn't mean that he'll be half as bad as that orange-wearing baka running around on screen screaming at the top of his lungs and tanking punches face-first from his opponents.

Let's get back to the madness, shall we?

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 29: Second Step: Shuffling the Board**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _"The pineapple-haired Nara boy," the Toad Sage muttered out half-heartedly. To be honest he expected the boy to be committed to Naruto's training program which was why he was pleasantly surprised when the Hokage agreed._

 _"Done."_

 _Jiraiya blinked and leaped out the window to swing by the mission office before it closed. If he acted quickly enough, he could have the scroll drafted and be out of the village by lunchtime tomorrow._

 _Tsunade had been the inspiration for many a book in the past, after all._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Somewhere on the** _ **Road to Life**_ **in Hi no Kuni ~**

Jiraiya of the Sannin was winding down on the 15th verse of a rousing round of bar tunes and doing a fabulous job if one cared to admit it. His voice, a surprising baritone of stable quality, carried nicely over the rice paddies of the western provinces, the stooped workers pausing to listen to the words or clap along briefly as they planted the new crop.

It was another brilliant spring day, the late morning brisk on the skin as the sun began its trek across the heavens, the azure tapestry decorated sparsely with soft clouds of cotton. Alongside the crooning shinobi, a brooding dark-haired youth was diligently trying to distract his mind from his current circumstance as he plodded along, his eyes turned upwards in a vain effort to block out the annoying distraction to his right.

"Where are we headed this time?" Shikamaru's voice was the herald of eternal suffering even as the boisterous Sannin stomped his wooden-shod feet in time to his own rhythm.

"To the next town, my young companion!" The cheerful shinobi was smiling warmly and waving to a family shin-deep in the nearest paddy, his face the carefree picture of a man with zero worries. It was at this point that Shikamaru decided he'd had enough of the ongoing charade and stopped in the middle of the dirt road with his hands shoved deep inside his trouser pockets. Unfortunately, it took several more clacking steps for the pantomiming legend to notice he now trod onward alone, his words faltering on the wind much like his merry steps did the road.

"Enough. I've had enough of your troublesome ways." The Genin spun on his heels and began a leisurely stroll back in the general direction of Konoha.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Jiraiya could only smirk to himself. _'Huh, took the boy two whole days to get fed up.'_ The Genin had neither slowed nor acknowledged the question. "We're on a mission for kami's sake!"

"You brought me for my ability to analyze patterns and to plan, yet you have given me nothing to work with," the youth called back over his shoulder without turning around or slowing. "You're more troublesome than that knucklehead on my team but at least he explains the crazy running through his brain so I can contain it."

Jiraiya smiled; the boy was making steady progress back the way they came indicating that he could be motivated when the need arose.

"It's clear you do not need my help." Shikamaru glanced up at the sun estimating it to be late morning, probably closer to ten o'clock. If he conserved his energy, he could make it home by early tomorrow.

"You were brought to help me find someone that doesn't want to be found," the deeper voice called out to him forcing Shikamaru (against his better judgment) to pause mid-step. Jiraiya noted he did not spin around just yet. "You were sent along to help me locate and return Tsunade Senju, the Slug Princess, to Konoha."

Shikamaru's eyes slid closed as he muttered a curse up to the heavens. He wanted to swear a curse to the almighty Log. He wanted to pretend that he hadn't heard and keep walking. In the end, he spun about and strolled purposefully back towards the old man until he stopped directly in front of the Toad Sage.

"You pull any more of this secret squirrel crap and I'm done." Jiraiya waved it off as inconsequential.

"Deal! Just keep in mind that you're filling in so that Konoha can whip your teammate back into shape. This is very important in more ways than one."

"Important enough that you've only stopped at villages with onsen's?" Jiraiya blinked like a child caught with his hands in the cookie jar. "Given all the giggling and note-taking I've seen you doing, I'd guess you already know exactly where we can find her and you're taking your sweet time getting there to prolong the lecherous behavior." The frowning youth crossed his arms over his lean chest and scowled disapprovingly up at the older shinobi.

"Saw that did you? Hehe, looks like you're considerably smarter than my godson." Jiraiya tried on his best "sheepish-face-because-I've-been-caught" look but the Nara wasn't budging.

"I'll make a deal with you. Stop wasting my time and I won't report any of this nonsense to the Hokage."

Jiraiya nodded once, his face breaking out into a roguish grin, and swung a heavy arm around the Genin's shoulders as he pivoted to usher him smartly down the road. Now all he needed to do was get the boy laid and maybe he could change that unnaturally lazy attitude into something useful.

For his part, Shikamaru was wondering how his blond teammate was holding up. Anything he was suffering through had to be better than traipsing through the countryside with the perverted Sannin.

~III~

On the other foot, Naruto was not having an easier go of things.

The huffing Genin was in fact on his hands and knees trying desperately to suck badly needed oxygen in through his gaping mouth to fill his deprived lungs. It was the latest phase in his chakra rehabilitation program and, sorry to admit, he was finding it unpleasant in more ways than one.

Standing over him while he gasped and sputtered stood a very displeased Ellamus, her arms folded across her naked chest barely containing the unrepressed globes of her gravity-defying bustline. It had nothing to do with modesty and had everything to do with her apparent displeasure at Naruto's perceived lack of "significant progress."

Watching from the safety of the kitchen table, Haku observed with mild concern as the calmer of the Celestial summonses (actually wearing the chest wrappings her eldest sibling refused to don calling them 'unpleasant and restrictive') tried to placate the frustrated elder serpent, her eyes darting occasionally to the barely conscious blond.

Ella agreed to wear them whenever they were out in public (public consisting of the training grounds) but flatly refused when in the safety of their summoner's domicile, much to Naruto's ongoing chagrin as his eyes often traveled to her gently swaying chest. It was to his eternal embarrassment that Ella-chan never ceased to tease him over that small fact, often encouraging Opal to do the same if only to further frustrate him.

That, however, was not important as the elder _wyrmkin_ tried to bore her way through the shinobi's spine with her stare alone. She found his effort lacking and made no equivocations about stating as much.

"Again," she growled out in simmering annoyance, her mind failing to understand why he could not grasp the concept of such a simple exercise.

"Allow me to speak with him, 'nē-san." The dark-haired serpent cast a harshly critical eye at her younger relative. "Please! Just a few minutes!"

There was a protracted silence between the two as the eldest fully turned her withering stare against the youngest, almost as if an entire conversation took place using only their eyes as the younger pleaded on behalf of their shared host.

With a disgusted sigh, Ella-chan spun away to take up residence on the couch with a jiggling bounce and a sigh while her sister crouched down before the still wheezing jinchuuriki.

Slowly reaching out to grasp his sweaty head in her gentle palms, Opal tilted his head upwards until she could look into his eyes. His complexion had paled, his skin taking on a yellowish-green pallor as he gulped in large quantities of air. Judging by the inflamed red lines in his normally pristine sclera, he was flirting dangerously close to chakra exhaustion, well, as much as he could until the vast pools of untapped Uzumaki chakra could be harnessed. Either way she looked at it, his exhaustion wasn't due to the exercise but to Ella's insistence that he summon the both of them daily at the end of his morning workout sessions. The fatigue he was experiencing was a direct product of the current chakra control drill and his inability to master it while already fatigued.

Opal sympathized as she'd undergone the same harsh training regimen, only she'd been forced to burn through her vast chakra stores until nearly exhausted then forced to repeat the exercise until mastery of her own chakra network had been achieved. She knew intimately the frustration her summoner was dealing with as it was solely an internal exercise, no expulsion of chakra or physical activity required. Worse still, loss of control could be twice as debilitating, the fatigue equal to running a marathon immediately after completing one as a warmup, an unfortunate side effect of trying to mentally wrangle your own chakra network through sheer will alone.

Performing the exercise when near exhaustion was supposed to make it easier and, in the case of normal humans, that would very much be the case. Most humans refilled their chakra at tortoise-like paces, their energy trickling in as it took days to top off their depleted reserves. This entire concept did not apply to their summoner as, between his supercharged Uzumaki constitution and the seal's over efficient leeching of replacement chakra from the imprisoned bijū, the serpent duo was having a difficult time reconciling the raging torrent of chakra swamping his empty network. It was the equivalent of comparing a trickling stream versus a raging river of rapids after the spring floods.

The task was to mentally traverse into his mindspace but, rather than camp out in the grotto replica, he was to mentally force his way through his own tenketsu pathways and learn to wrangle the chakra flow through stringent self-control. The goal was to control the direction, speed, and density of his own chakra while being nearly depleted of it, a time when arguably his chance at control was the highest. Only after he'd met with success would they gradually start tapering off to trying it with his chakra being half full and then once he was completely rested. It was the advanced-advanced form of chakra signature suppression Asuma-sensei was just now teaching them.

And Naruto was failing spectacularly at it. As a result, he was exhausted from the mental exertion as being submerged into his chakra network was amazingly a lot like trying to swim upstream in a raging river without chakra to enhance your body. The end result was a "transference" of that mental stress and strain to his physical body and now, after six straight failures, even his considerable stamina was beginning to falter.

Rather than trying to bolster him with strong encouragement or placating words of bravado, Opal did what she did best and began by gently lifting his face forcing him to sit up and straighten out his spine. Still sucking in great gulps of oxygen, his elongated diaphragm began working more efficiently slowly leeching away the blush to his cheeks… right before she brought the red tint back in raging fashion by firmly grasping his hands and slapping them to her firm bosom.

Ella-chan knew full well how humans thought, particularly human males. While _echidnae_ did not intentionally flaunt their bodies (human sexuality was not something inherently instinctive to the race of Celestial creatures), they were very much aware of the impact their physical manifestations had on healthy males of the species. Opal was trying to distract the exhausted boy and redirect his mind towards relaxing enough to enable learning.

She was succeeding admirably.

Still on his knees only now blushing a raging cherry red hue, Naruto's body seized up while he knelt there. Fortunately, his now outstretched arms (while still kneeling on the floor) were reaching up above his head in order to meet the soft pillows of her chest, which served to further expand his chest cavity allowing more air to reach his oxygen-deprived body parts (lungs, heart, brain, muscles). As drained as he was, he didn't possess the strength to take back his hands from the red-faced Opal standing with her hips floating directly before Naruto's stunned face.

When his mind finished rebooting, the embarrassed teen tried to withdraw his overfull palms succeeding only in pulling the blushing female into his lap, which was her intention. She then shifted his grip from her chest to her hips as she slapped her palms to his red cheeks forcing him to lock gazes with her.

"Keep breathing and listen," she pleaded softly, Naruto's stunned face nodding as he lacked the mental capacity for much else at the moment. "Deep breaths," she whispered out breathing with him to provide an example, her large chest expanding and contracting in time with his own. Surprisingly, his eyes never left hers and she smiled at his devotion.

Locking her legs around his waist as her body settled into his lap, she waited until his breathing began to even out, her hand sweeping the sweaty bangs from his eyes.

"It's hard, Opal-hime," he rasped out, his throat hoarse from trying to suck in great gulps of air to fill his lungs. The pale _echidnae_ smiled as her head partially tilted to the side.

"I know, _Walker_ , but you must do this," she countered.

"I don't know if I can."

His doubt rocked her down to her foundation. In the short time she'd been bonded with him, his courage never once failed him. For Naruto Uzumaki, it wasn't a matter of whether he could or could not but when he would. Now the specter of doubt was rearing its ugly head as he searched her face for something, anything. She realized he was looking for hope. Her summoner was looking for a mental fortitude he did not feel he possessed on his own. His bottomless enthusiasm was dwindling to a trickle…

Opal's eyes blinked as she remembered something Asuma-sensei was trying to get them to learn before their misadventures in the Land of Snow.

"If you cannot control the flow of chakra, perhaps you should restrict the path it takes." For his part, Naruto's eyes blinked rapidly for several seconds as her words sunk in and realization dawned.

Ella-chan ordered him to master the flow of his chakra. She'd smashed his palm against her flat stomach and told him to focus on her chakra network right before slowing down, speeding up, then stopping it altogether. The exercise was to help him master his own energy and help to stem the uncontrollable flood raging through his system, which would vastly improve his control and allow the next stage of his growth: development of his new _Ranton_ and _Mokuton_ bloodlines.

The brash female brusquely laughed away Titus' previous claim that the Uzumaki adamantine sealing chains were a result of bonding with a _Stormbringer echidnae_. As pleasant an idea as that sounded, the _Kongo Fuusa_ was purely an Uzumaki bloodline trait that resulted from maturing his chakra, something the _echidnae_ could most definitely help with.

Mastery of any bloodline was still many years away, but the enhanced level of chakra control would permit him to begin mixing elemental chakra natures into controllable flows opening the doors to sub-elemental jutsus.

In the meantime, Ella had shown him "what" to do omitting the "how" portion leaving it for him to figure out on his own. Normally, Opal would not have objected but their time was growing short, his test looming a mere ten days from now. They didn't have time for the normal pace of things, something the older _echidnae_ simply refused to believe having relegated the concerns of humans to something lower in worth than whale excrement.

Above all else, Opal did not want her summoner to fail so she "broke the training rules" just a bit.

It was a slow, methodical process watching the wheels turn in Naruto's mind as he began to dissect the problem with Opal's assistance. Ella had not forbidden the constricting of individual tenketsu. In fact, she hadn't forbidden or restricted any manipulation of his network. She'd only told him to master its flow, the first stage of which Asuma-sensei had been trying to drill in their heads as part of learning to mask their signatures from other shinobi.

Chakra resided in the _hara_ , the core. Though its quantity and quality varied based on the shinobi, form, fit, and function remained the same in most cases. Born in the core, drawn through the eight gates – the major pumps of the chakra network if you will, before being regulated and redirected through the coils (the valves of the chakra system) to the appropriate destination for use or expulsion through the body's tenketsu, notable exceptions being jutsus requiring mixing of elements in the lungs followed by expurgation through the mouth. Shinobi of note in Konoha had mastered some higher levels of control over key components of their chakra network, control far and above the norm, like the _Beautiful Beasts of Konoha._ That in and of itself did not mean total mastery. Bursting open your chakra gates and flooding your body with all of your stored chakra was neither a sane nor complicated feat (something Ella verbally disabused the Genin of ever being allowed to do), as evident by the destructive aftermath of executing such a feat.

If he was so anxious to experience pain, she'd happily destroy his limbs rather than allow him to self-implode like the green monstrosities he trained with on occasion.

She further refused to allow him to pick up their horrific clothing peculiarities, as evident when she shredded the gifted unitard with her fanged teeth.

Just. No.

Alas, we digress from the difficult, nay, monstrous task of a jinchuuriki learning to master his chakra network in its entirety even if it was already considered an insurmountable task by the majority of shinobi and kunoichi living in Konoha.

Most never pushed further than learning how to constrict or expand the openings of their tenketsu, the first step to learning how to mask their individual chakra signatures. Proficiency over that first tentative step towards mastery often proved too taxing a mental exercise for the partially motivated nin. The vast majority of which surrendered believing the greater secrets of their chosen profession beyond them seeking solace in the satisfying tasks of the Support Cadre, a daunting fact that finally explained to Naruto why their four-thousand active duty combatants only made up less than a third of their total shinobi force. If they couldn't master that first level of proficiency, they had no hope of learning how to flex their coils aiding in the increase or decrease of chakra flow throughout their entire network.

It also explained why villages like Iwa and Kumo could marshal over twenty thousand in their combined assault on Uzushio; every shinobi was a soldier first and foremost as evident by the ease with which Uzushio mowed through the vast majority of them.

With that realization in mind, Naruto began rewinding Ella's demonstration noting how minimal her own massive chakra signature was the entire time she dazzled him with her skill hoping he wouldn't notice her obfuscation. It was only through their link that he could sense the flow of energy through her massively complex chakra network – the impressive camouflage of their henge still stunned him whenever he peeked through his still growing sensor abilities. In human form, Ella would be called petite but extremely curvy. Her chakra network bursting to overflowing with _Reikatsu_ , her _spiritual thread of life_ as she called it, seemed larger than her tiny frame could safely hold and felt to the Genin like it dwarfed the Hokage Monument.

He knew it was an illusion, a mirage of the senses, but the fact that she harbored great power made it easy to loose himself in the twists and caverns of her chakra. Though she often enticed him into the adventure, it was all too easy to get lost in those warrens. Instead, he focused first on mastering his own network.

When he closed his eyes and dove headfirst into his mindscape for the seventh time, Ella smiled from her corner as the boy's signature slowly but steadily compressed from his normal bijū-level chakra bonfire to just below the level of a kage-ranked threat. She smiled having played her role as the oppressive taskmistress (despite her earlier protests) so that Opal could be the "good teacher" better matching her softer nature.

It was a start anyway and, before too long, he found himself standing before an all-too-familiar beach of make-believe sand.

~III~

Hiruzen's eyes swept over the benefactor of his life's work: The Village Hidden in the Leaves. While his love-hate relationship with paperwork (okay, there's not much love there) ebbed and flowed, his love for the village had never been stronger.

Down below the Market District was in full swing, the rush of servants descending on the shops and vendors hoarding supplies to feed their various clans. He could tell summer was coming as the younger laborers began trading out the thick lining of their winter kimonos for the more versatile summer variety. It wouldn't matter once summer fully sank its claws into the village; anyone not in climate-controlled rooms would sweat through their clothing before noon was upon them.

The old man's face wrinkled with a naughty twinkle in his eye as those thoughts ran through his head, a tiny giggle tittering from his lips as he prepared to delay his normal work routine for a quick peek at his personal guilty pleasure.

"Thinking about my works of greatness already, sensei?"

The giggling ended with a stern throat clearing but the gleam in the older man's eyes never faded. "Welcome back, Jiraiya." Hiruzen turned to face the heavy-set man lounging on his office couch, his eyes briefly sweeping the room before returning to the Toad Sage's personage, one eyebrow cocked skyward in an unasked question.

"Don't worry, old man. She's settling into the Senju estate. Something about clearing out old memories along with the dust." His calloused palm absently waved away any remaining importance as Sarutobi puttered over to his cushy chair.

Hiruzen knew for a fact that specially (and routinely) screened cleaning crews went through the Senju Clan residence with a fine-toothed comb keeping it spotless. Her anger must not have faded even after all these many years. "You are back far sooner than I expected," the old man quipped with that knowing smirk on his face.

Jiraiya's face blushed just a hair, his hand finding new purchase on the back of his neck as it rubbed around absentmindedly. "The Nara kid caught on faster than I thought and threatened to return to Konoha if I didn't stop jerking him around."

Hiruzen chuckled softly.

"That Genin is much smarter than he looks and much less tolerant than Naruto," Hiruzen began. Jiraiya swung forward on the couch to perch on the edge, his forearms resting on his knees while he listened to the old man he loved more than life. "For a Nara, that's saying something," the Sandaime concluded.

Jiraiya may have been put off by the old man's humor but the Sandaime didn't mind in the least. He'd warned the perpetual teen not to underestimate the Nara heir.

"And the meeting with Tsunade?" Jiraiya grimaced at this point, his eyes finding a particularly interesting spot on the wooden floor to linger on.

"He's pieced together most of Naruto's family life." Hiruzen's smile immediately evaporated like smoke, his pipe finding its way into his mouth as snow white brows knit together in concentration.

"Leave us, please." Four shadows blurred from the room even as Jiraiya finished off a sequence of seals dimming the windows and sound-proofing the room.

"Why don't you start at the beginning. WAIT!" The Sannin paused once the old man's pointer finger shot up into the air. "Instead, start at the point where you agreed to get serious in your search for Tsunade."

The heavy sigh from the white-maned Sannin was enough to make the Hokage light his pipe for the soothing narcotic, his fingers pulsing _Katon_ chakra through the etched seals on either side of the bulb.

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Slug Princess Edition_

 _Shikamaru forced the older male to the side of the road so the sage could sit and so that he could assume his "thinking position." There he refused to move until the white-cropped pervert spouted off as much detail about their quarry's habits, quirks, and addictions as he was willing to share._

 _She travelled about the Land of Fire quite a bit, never staying in any one place for more than a week. While appropriate for any shinobi looking to stay ahead of their enemies, her staying within Hi no Kuni made non-leaf shinobi pursuing her long-term difficult but not impossible. Shikamaru had no delusions about his home country being unassailable by enemy forces but regular patrols and outposts manned by Konoha's killers (still some of the best in the elemental nations), and backed by their robust communications network, made prolonged persecution of the Sannin unlikely. Sooner or later, an observant pair of eyes would notice something and removing those eyes from the picture only hastened discovery._

 _No, it would appear that the wayward kunoichi was a gambling wastrel compounded further by the fact that the Hokage kept her on a short leash, meaning inside Hi no Kuni borders, by delivering her monthly stipend from the Senju Clan accounts by summons so long as she stayed in-country. His summonses from the Monkey Clan were smart enough to verify their location refusing to capitulate to the cursing rage of the annoyed woman during her first year of self-imposed asylum when she fled to the Land of Hot Water. It didn't take long before her bitter face started showing up around the nation's border towns. She eventually admitted defeat once they stopped delivering the monthly missives unless she was at a recognized village far from the border; she liked to skirt back and forth across the political barrier the moment cash fell into the alcohol-laced pores of her palms._

 _In short, she was a real piece of work despite the Toad Sage defending her poor life choices._ Troublesome.

 _Turning inward, Shikamaru took the sordid mess that was the Slug Princess's life, began throwing in what he'd observed from Jiraiya's seemingly pointless wandering through the forests and farmlands, then threw in what he knew about its geography, specifically its gambling landscape. His conclusion materialized ten minutes later as he stood and traipsed off back in the general direction of Konoha, a confused and sputtering Jiraiya of the Sannin following along in his wake._

" _Shikamaru?" The one-word question covered a lot of ground. Shika grunted and shoved his hands into patiently waiting pockets._

" _It first appeared as if you were using some complicated algorithm to determine which gambling towns we'd hit first in this woman hunt. When you wouldn't let me tag along on your informant meetings, I tagged along using my family's_ Kagemane _techniques to stay hidden and observe." The boy's annoyed frown in the older man's direction was equally telling._

" _I discovered that anyone remembering her face seemed to remember longer and longer gaps in her appearance the more westerly we went." His sigh seemed to have a life all its own, the gust of air conveying anger, annoyance, frustration, and apathy all at the same time._

" _Looking at our options for places to gamble, the vast majority of them are here in the north and west of Konoha's countryside. Based on what you've told me, she'd never travel to the eastern coast unless she was seriously pressed by her debtors – there is too little in the way of creature comforts between them and Konoha." Jiraiya's face contorted in worry for a second._

" _So that leaves only one logical place that I'm sure you figured out after that second town;_ Tanzaku Gai _." With that proclamation, Shikamaru set off at what any Nara would consider a blistering pace. For Jiraiya, it only meant he needed to walk at a normal cadence for a person wearing wooden sandals._

 _Two days of surprisingly dedicated effort on the part of the pineapple-haired Genin saw them at the two-story high walled entrance to the notorious party town, an unusually satisfied smirk on the youth's face._

" _Let's find a place and settle in-," the elder began only to get cut off by the Genin in a rare show of motivation._

" _No, let's find out which place she's hopped off to before she flees again. I'd like to be home by tomorrow at the latest." Jiraiya's raised eyebrow matched his smirking grin only furthering the simmering annoyance Shikamaru felt. He had no idea why the old pervert was trying to protect her, but he did know he was just about finished with this whole affair._

" _What makes you think she's even here?" The question was filled with bravado but Shikamaru merely pointed to the gaping hole a nearby gambling den sported, several "street toughs" already beginning the process of tearing down busted planks destined for a growing pile of refuse._

 _Jiraiya's sweat drop was almost a physical manifestation. The woman clearly hadn't lost her prodigious strength._

 _The two searched for another hour. It wasn't like Tanzaku was large enough of a place to warrant Herculean efforts before its half dozen gambling houses, and their associated small crime owners, had been thoroughly scoped out, the results of which were very telling._

 _Upon arrival, Tsunade secured a sizeable loan from one of the local "providers." If history were to prove accurate, she'd gamble away the cash and bolt long before anyone could come seeking recompense. Of the parlors she'd been through, three of them had already cleaned her out and the remaining three were anxious to get their cut of the borrowed cash knowing full well of her stellar reputation as an "unfortunate soul" when it came to houses of ill repute._

 _It was only a matter of time. Narrowing down the most likely targets, the two opted to grab a bite and look for a place to stay. Two of the three gambling dens sat across the street from each other so, sooner or later, Tsunade's luck would run out._

 _The very next day their hunch paid off and the two followed the slightly inebriated blond in pigtails and the smaller brunette in a dark kimono carrying a chubby piglet in her arms. When Shikamaru silently questioned his mission customer with a raised eyebrow, the Sannin merely shrugged it off and tailed the two kunoichis into an eating establishment with his new protégé hot on his heels. They found them at a booth, the older woman playing solitaire in between slurps of sake and the younger one eating a healthy meal of Miso soup, umeboshi, and konnyaku while feeding carrots to the happily munching swine resting comfortably in her lap._

" _Hime," Jiraiya mumbled out while taking up a seat directly across from his now frowning former teammate. With nothing better to do, Shikamaru slid in across from the concerned face of whom he believed to be Shizune Kato and nodded politely. The woman, as she was more than a few years his senior, did not appear to relax._

" _No." It was a terse response that immediately set the, "You're not welcome" stage of the conversation._

" _I didn't ask anything, Hime." Jiraiya was if nothing else calm in the face of a woman reportedly being strong enough to flatten homes with a single blow._

" _Whatever it is going to be, Jiraiya, the answer is still, 'No.'"_

 _Jiraiya, instead, opted to shift tactics and relive old memories. "I am here to deliver the old man's annual." Tsunade's face contorted into a frown as she flipped through a few sets of cards flopped down in groups of threes. She paused to slide one out from the middle of a grouping and place it in the fourth column much to the younger woman's disproving_ tsk _. Then she repeated the sound._

 _After a prolonged staring match, Tsunade grunted and put it back in the throw-away pile._

" _I see Shi-chan is hard at work trying to keep you honest." Tsunade, instead of answering, snatched the scroll from him and tossed it to her apprentice who caught it with practiced ease. A sudden wave of heavy pressure settled over the table making Shikamaru and his slightly older counterpart freeze in place, their bodies breaking out into cold sweats as the two struggled to find enough air to fill their lungs. At the table directly behind them, someone fell sideways out of his own booth with a thud._

 _For all that, Tsunade merely raised an eyebrow without looking up from her card game._

" _It's not like you to lose your vaunted cool," the now smirking female Sannin quipped._

" _At least I know now why your grandson has never seen you." His words did more than his_ KI _ever could. Her hands froze mid-placement, a seven of clubs hovering just over a red eight of diamonds in the third column of cards. Shikamaru could have sworn the card trembled for a split second before she slapped it down onto the table._

" _What are you talking about, Jiraiya? I never had kids so how do I suddenly have a grandson?" Her eyes flickered briefly to the Nara boy before shooting up to lock gazes with the toad summoner. The killing intent lessoned but his anger hadn't, his rage smoldering in the small ink pools beneath his horned forehead protector._

" _I believe what he's trying to say is that you're an even bigger disappointment than even he believed to be possible." Shizune's shock at the youth's blatant disrespect was immediately surpassed by her sensei's anger-flushed face, the older woman's painted fingernail shooting up to stab in the direction of his frowning mouth even though her voice continued to address the toad sage._

" _Tell your flunky minion to keep quiet and drink his milk unless he wants to step outside. I'm not above turning him into a grease smear."_

 _Jiraiya's oppressive presence diminished as he noted Shikamaru's determined look of displeasure. If his watching of Team Ten had proven anything, it was that the boy was about to begin one of his "teaching rants" and it would prove to be an entertaining lesson all the same._

 _Instead, Jiraiya leaned back and snickered at the older woman, her face wrinkling up again in confusion now that her personal stalker wasn't trying to bully her with fear tactics. It was too sudden a mood shift, even for the old pervert._

" _I'm not anyone's minion but, to be honest, I'd much rather be done with…" his hand waved about the table absently, "whatever this is." His eyes locked onto the frowning woman that looked barely older than the girl he knew she outranked by more than several decades. "I thank the Log that Naruto was not here to see," his eyes narrowed as they raked shamelessly over the heavily breasted drunk, her kimono top opened lazily to reveal an expanse of creamy cleavage meant to distract from her flushed cheeks and slurred words._

" _Watch your mouth gaki or I'll-." He cut her off ruthlessly, Jiraiya taking a moment to lay down a modified privacy seal underneath the table immediately distorting the normal sounds of the family restaurant._

" _You'll do nothing since I'm not stupid enough to challenge you to a fight. Killing a clan heir without cause would be enough to get your Sannin traveling privileges revoked and your drunk rear thrown into a chakra restrictive jail cell on your way to prison." Despite the very real threat in his words, her eyes narrowed dangerously._

" _Why you little-," she began only to hit another brick wall as the dark-haired youth flung up an open palm. The older woman blinked in shocked surprise, literally brain dead that someone barely into puberty would be so flippant with her._

" _Not done. What he means is that the Hokage has probably been sending yearly reports to you about someone obviously related to you. Instead of reading them, you've been burning them I'd wager, so you have no idea that Naruto Uzumaki is your grandson." She flinched but she didn't do it alone._

" _Shika…" The Sannin's mumbled warning wasn't lost on the by now perturbed Genin._

" _Doesn't take much to connect the dots, Jiraiya. How many Genin in Konoha have the same banana-yellow hair?" Tsunade's anger rapidly faded to shock. "Hell, he's the spitting double of the Fourth minus the whisker marks." At that, Tsunade openly gaped._

 _She knew that Kushina hid her whisker marks beneath a complicated henge fueled by her impressive_ fūinjutsu _skills. It was the progenitor for her personal henge after all. Then the last name of the woman clicked._

 _Kushina Uzumaki. Naruto Uzumaki. But, if she married Minato, why didn't the boy sport his father's last name? Her eyes swung back to her former teammate with the resurgence of her anger at the fore, a teammate that instantly threw up his hands in defense._

" _Don't blame him," Shikamaru continued. "I'd be willing to wager my hitai on the fact that the Hokage has been sending you yearly updates on the progress of your son, his subsequent secret marriage to a certain female of kunoichi renown, and their subsequent child. I'd be willing to bet my clan home that he included in there the sad tale of how those same shinobi gave their lives defending the village from the Kyūbi no Kitsune. Furthermore, I'd be willing to swear on the almighty Log," Jiraiya winced at the boy's dedication to that abstract shinobi religion, "that it included the fifteen years of suffering that this same orphan endured at the hands of villagers that tried to kill him repeatedly because no one was there to look out for him." The now angry Nara rose to leave a shocked Tsunade in his wake of verbal destruction._

 _Jiraiya's tense body relaxed minutely when the Nara brushed past the bijū sealed in his godson's stomach._

" _I for one am glad that he isn't here to see what's become of his_ grandmother _." His stressing of the word stung her, the now sobering woman blinking in response. "I for one am glad that he doesn't know that you didn't care enough to learn about his miserable life. I think it would be enough to finally break him when an entire village of idiots couldn't."_

 _With that, he stalked away muttering something about finding them a place to stay for the night as he had no desire to stay and watch the ignorant woman self-destruct further._

 _Flashback no Jutsu – Slug Princess Edition – Kai!_

"I didn't have to do a thing. He raked her over the coals and left her in the unenviable position of having to explain why she hasn't read a single update you've provided her in over thirty years."

Hiruzen's whistle was low and prolonged, the pain of his failure clearly etched on his weathered face. Almost as if a switch had been flipped, his eyes narrowed sharply, and the Professor was back in charge.

"Does she know?"

Jiraiya nodded sharply once. "We spent the rest of the night drinking and talking. Well, I drank, and she asked questions. I've caught her up to speed as much as was feasible in an open eatery."

Hiruzen sighed even as he set his pipe down on the ceramic placement pad. It was a beginning. Now they just needed to survive her anger at a village she already hated, personal mistakes notwithstanding.

For now, he had a test to observe.

~III~

If he was being completely honest with himself, Naruto Uzumaki found the day of his "evaluation" completely anti-climactic. He felt underwhelmed with the entire process.

Naruto found himself back in Team Ten's assigned training area exactly ten days later. Standing on the tree-lined edge of the greenspace, his eyes closed accompanied by the soft hum of appreciation his girlfriend's gentle kisses brought up. She often knew the best ways to leech tension from his body, tension he most often ignored or took for granted. Today was a day with plenty of items to be tense about. Unfortunately, he needed a clear head for what was coming next.

Calm was not an easy state to reach knowing that his goal of joining ANBU lay just at the end of his fingertips. What made it worse was that the list of onlookers had subtly changed but not for the better.

Gone were the Council, for the most part. Kakashi was lurking about just like the first meeting six weeks before. The Sandaime Hokage appeared next to Iruka-sensei in a flurry of leaves and wind along with the bored looking Toad Sage. Before the latest arrivals, Team Neko stood at the edge of the tree line joined by a tiger-faced ANBU on one side, and a bull-faced one on the other, all trying to studiously ignore the other. Then the chatter between the one-eyed Jounin, the Chunin, and the Hokage began and Naruto's bijū-enhanced hearing picked up every word.

Iruka was proposing a series of tests to gradually evaluate his chakra control and endurance. From what the Genin could hear, they were going to start with simple calisthenics to pick up his heart rate and stress his system before plunging him directly into three low-to-medium grade chakra control exercises. If he passed without passing out, they would render his last six-week trial a success and push on with the retrieval OP.

Naruto found the prolonged torture unacceptable and spun around to face the staring gallery of gawkers by lifting both palms skyward curling his fingers upwards into human claws. Both palms began to glow as chakra began to visually manifest. A second later, the coalescing masses began to take shape and spiral forming spinning orb-shaped masses about the size of a human heart. At two seconds, the masses compressed to slightly larger than his fists, the chakra spheres becoming whirring orbs filled with thousands of glistening light trails. At about two and a half seconds, the pitch rose two octaves as the menacing whir became a high-pitched whine once the orbs came up to speed and solidified, the dull blue core pulsing with brilliant white energy.

Hiruzen whispered one word, " _Rasengan_ ," and an argument immediately broke out among the three officer-ranked ANBU as they argued in hand signs over why the initiate belonged in one of three different companies of the Black OP's Fifth Shinobi Corps Heavy Service Battalion.

Asuma-sensei, turning to saunter off with a fresh cigarette in his mouth, mumbled out a reminder of their mission brief tomorrow in the Hokage's office at zero-eight admonishing them both to not be late.

Jiraiya simply turned to the gaping Hokage and blurted out, "Works for me," as he turned and "clacked" off in his trademark getas to find one of his favorite hidey spots to peek, er, do _research_. After all of the work, sweat and frustration, the blond Genin found the apparent lack of reaction… depressing.

"A shinobi is humble," whispered his platinum-haired love interest, his rankled feelings deflating along with his disappointed ego. She kissed his cheek softly then dashed off to join her departing father.

Naruto could only nod in silent agreement.

Just out of sight, the Hokage looked over to his son, Asuma, and waved the man over with a subtle head nod. "Your mission to retrieve the Uzumaki girl is in two weeks. Better control or not, I wanted him tested before then with a short mission. Come by the office tomorrow with your team as I believe I have a suitable opportunity."

Asuma gave a shallow bow, one just barely enough to be respectful, as the old man puttered off to his office. He needed a smoke but first, he needed to discover how quickly he could get Kurenai unwrapped from her rolls of bandages.

Back in the training field, one Naruto Uzumaki was discovering that he was abruptly left the last man standing and he found the sudden isolation smothering. He wanted to celebrate his amazing progress and, if the humans of his village weren't going to help him, then he knew the right crowd that would. Several had signs later and a healthy burst of smoke left in his wake, Naruto vanished from the forest replacing the earthy scent of Konoha with the salt-ladened air of the Glittering Grotto.

He was rewarded with the happy squeal of an ivory-hued _echidna_ and her two best friends.

~III~

The growing Konoha night was still a bit cool this early in the year. Add in the fact that Kabuto still hadn't found that damnable scroll and the night was coming to another stellar end if failure was your particular brand of poison. As his feet came to a shuffling stop next to his personal harlot, the index and middle finger of his right hand ghosted upwards to press the bridge of his glasses against his forehead, a familiar sign of frustration Guren had a difficult time suppressing a vindictive grin because of.

"While I enjoy a pleasant walk in the evening air, there had best be an earth-shattering reason why we are enjoying the evening hospitality of the Konoha's cemetery vice the cozy comfort of my apartment, Guren- _chan_."

Being uncomfortably close to the disgusting rapist forced Guren to pick up on Kabuto's physical cues rather quickly. For instance, the repetitive pushing up of his glasses was an obvious sign of annoyance but the not-so-subtle way he emphasized the "chan" suffix to her name meant that he was bordering on physical aggression, the type of which often made her want to slit his throat in the middle of the night. It took all of her self-control not to flinch when his left hand twitched mimicking hand seals as if they were on the tip of his snake-addled tongue.

"I brought you here to show you the end of your search."

She very nearly sighed in relief once the smothering _KI_ oozing from the shorter male abruptly vanished, his eyebrows peeking up behind the mirror-like reflection of his owl-like spectacles. With his hostility abated, Guren nervously licked her lips and shuffled in a non-shinobi way out towards the pristine stone of polished marble near the center of the garden of dead people. She knew without turning about that he would follow.

As she walked, her eyes flickered nervously to the silent killers pacing them. Her shaky legs made her convincing walk through the graves all the more convincing as she knew what the white-haired bastard would do to her before they could be captured and yet the tantalizing hope of discovery darted elusively around in her mind. Oh, if only she could tip them off leading to both their capture.

Oh, the heavenly revenge on both snakes nearly brought a blush to her cheeks.

Instead, she pressed on until her feet came to a stop just before the monument commemorating Konoha's honorable fallen, the hateful man's sandals gliding to a stop next to her own.

"If you've led me here hoping to either murder or imprison me…" Kabuto's voice held a razor-thin edge to it, one dangerously close to action of the vilest kind. Instead, she reached out to touch the stone with gentle fingers, the tips of which danced across a name as if she were remembering a fallen family member.

Kabuto's eyes followed, at first in annoyance but then in captivation.

"Wait, go back." Guren suppressed a smirk as her fingers danced back to brush against the name of a Senju she didn't recognize, the kanji for which hummed briefly with a pale blue light.

"I don't know the right combination yet but-." Kabuto cut her off by heavily slapping a palm onto her shoulder and tenderly rubbing the muscle there as if consoling a tenderhearted family member. Guren, ever quick to catch on to role-playing, lowered her head and sniffled, her shoulders beginning to gently shake even as Kabuto whispered softly to her.

"We have time to discover the right order. I can see where the new seals have been freshly added so this should not take too long to sort out." His eyes were gleaming predatorily at her.

"Never fear, Guren-chan," he all but hissed out. "I shall comfort you in your time of mourning."

Kabuto was overjoyed on the inside even as his face took on the tearful countenance of a mourner coming to grieve for the dearly departed. His hand slipped across the taller woman's shoulders taking note of the shiver that shot up her spine as his hand slid down to her waist so that he could pull her in tight to his body. Steering them away from the monument and the now relaxing ANBU watching in the shadows, the Snake Sannin's number two purposefully maneuvered them back to his apartment.

As a Konoha resident, he was well aware that the new seals on the memorial stone had nothing to do with the preservation of the obelisk. A seals master he was not but neither was he a novice and this discovery only served to validate the girl's claim at overhearing two gossipy girlfriends talking about their boyfriend's complaining of a new watch detail out in the "boneyard," as shinobi commonly referred to the cemetery.

' _Thank the Sannin for idiot females.'_ His eyes unintentionally flickered to the admittedly attractive Kunoichi shuddering with revulsion in his grasp. It was a shame that she'd have to die after the invasion wrapped up. He was beginning to enjoy her charms such as they were even though her skills as a kunoichi he found infinitely more valuable. Those skills had led them to this very cleverly hidden secret even if her discovery smacked of more than careless women with loose tongues. He would need to verify the veracity of this lucky find.

Her discovery alone piqued his interest (though he would never admit it to Guren) as he knew of nothing in the cemetery worth guarding; the remains of the village's most powerful heroes were always kept under lock and key deep within ANBU Central since his master fled the village of bleeding hearts. If the man hadn't had the foresight to take enough samples with him during his flight to freedom, their plan would have been woefully unprepared for their golden opportunity. Perhaps Kabuto would have had to resort to… drastic measures to secure the necessary supplies.

Not that he feared such steps but the risks to his cover made such options a last resort sort of thing. No, this discovery meant that he could finally report good news to his master. He hoped to crack the code prior to his next periodic report.

In the meantime, he would celebrate with his personal plaything thanking his master the whole time for his boundless generosity.

~III~

Haku was happy. She liked to hum when she was happy, like she was at the moment, a cheerful tune she'd picked up back in Nami. It had to do with fish and mermaids or some such but she liked the melody.

Her humming lent itself to a brisk pace as she glided around the small dinner table, her graceful hands quickly setting up for two. A quick glance over her shoulder to the simmering pots and her hands set the final cups out for tea. It would be a splendid meal if she were willing to admit it, a meal fit for a master. Her master.

Standing erect with her hands resting comfortably on her slender hips, she adjusted her light kimono top and turned her head slightly to her left so that her voice could carry over her shoulder.

"Should I set another place for you, Commander-san?" The air shifted ever so slightly to reveal the shrouded figure of _Dragon_ in the far corner by the door. Once Haku started living with him, Naruto stopped sealing up his apartment given the girl's fierce fighting skills and his new residence in Shinobi Towers. _Dragon's_ frequent visits no longer surprised either of them.

"I won't be staying," the heavily modulated voice replied earning a brief head nod as the slender girl turned back to the table to admire her handiwork. Satisfied, she moved back to the stove to finish plating their modest meal.

Tasting a pinch of the yams, her eyes roamed the ceiling as her lips lightly smacked the buttery flavor tickling her tongue.

"Just a pinch more…" Delicate fingers sprinkled a dash of salt along the halves baking to a bright orange color in the stove.

Bent over as she was reaching into the stove, _Dragon_ took a moment to admire the slender girl's hips and grimaced. Though not nearly as curvy as the Byakugan Princess or the Platinum Mind Walker, she clearly had no reservations about flaunting her wares; Keina noted that her body jiggled a bit more than normal for a kunoichi wearing wraps underneath her garments. The sheets folded neatly on the couch told her that Naruto was still untainted but how much longer would that last?

No, the first heir would need to be mostly Uzumaki. That would mean keeping this snow bunny out his bed long enough to get the right woman in it first. As much as she liked the fire of the Yamanaka, that meant she had to wait as well. The Clan demanded no less.

"Are you sure I can't entice you to a warm-." When she stood up again her eyes took in the now-vacated apartment, her words dying a slow death at the edge of her lips. "Hnh, I suppose they really weren't hungry."

Shrugging her slender shoulders, Haku turned off the stove and topped off their meal with warm sake. Perhaps she could convince him to let her snuggle with him again. Naruto-sama was always so warm and it helped her sleep. Haku always ran a bit cold, especially her feet much to Naruto-sama's displeasure.

She giggled softly as her sailor's tune rippled once again throughout the kitchen.

~III~

 _Hitsuji_ was the perfect picture of patience and observation standing as he was with his back against a stone wall the same color as the floor beneath his combat sandals, the black straps traveling halfway up his shins to help secure his ANBU style pants. Not that any of the waiting or groaning members of the Sarutobi Clan would tell with his face hidden behind the porcelain shell of his public face.

His sleeveless military green shirt exposed more than the traditional ANBU tattoo on his right deltoid, the long, lean muscles of his right arm compressed into a ball of mass as the fingerless glove of the same hand gripped the bo staff in a relaxed fist, the tip resting just to the outside of his right foot. This, of course, left his other hand free to flicker up from his side to indicate the next victim, er… _trainee_ to step up from their place against the wall of the underground bunker in order to challenge the sole figure standing in the center of the chamber wielding an identical training weapon free from the traditional metal bands the Sarutobi Clan was famous for using in combat. The left arm rose once again, the thin bamboo reed bobbing to indicate another supplicant anxiously watching the figure in the center of the room hoping to glean a weakness, anything to help him unseat the current "King of the Ring."

"You, go next," the Ram-faced ANBU lazily drawled out.

The figure hoisted his own training weapon, the finely-polished stick pulsing faintly as he charged it with chakra to make it resilient enough to (hopefully) keep from shattering as a few others had done when his brothers and sisters charged in before him. Gliding on near-silent feet, the youth weaved his way in between columns of earth and stone that rose from the ceiling to the floor, a few of the hundreds that now filled the underground dojo built with the clan's own affinity for the element, this configuration of retractable obstacles meant to mimic Konoha's tree-laden forests. The boy winced as his fellow clan mate's, he thought the now tumbling figure might have been Kohaku, staff shattered under the heavy blow of the figure firmly planted in the center ring's indention and subtly shifted his trajectory to his left hoping to breach the columns in the defender's blind spot.

Clearing the stone columns at speed he lunged, the weapon perfectly horizontal as it shot forward at the end of his grasp. It was the quickest strike in the Sarutobi arsenal and speed was important in his strategy. He'd seen a fair number of his fellow clansmen fall attempting to take the current victor on with sheer power and fail spectacularly. No, speed was the key even with the strike's inherent weakness against blocking counters, hence the need for attacking from someone's blind spot or when they were weakened or unsuspecting.

Unfortunately for Koji Sarutobi, the current "King" sensed both his weak presence and intent, his own powerfully glowing bo whipping about as wiry shoulders wrapped in a black combat kimono pivoted just enough to bring about his defense. _Hitsuji's_ arm came up to indicate two more victims as the pulsing stave swept Koji's spear thrust aside easily with a resounding _CLACK_ before completing a rower's motion, the tip sweeping a downward rotation before reversing direction to impact the boy's stomach and send him tumbling along the floor and into one of the many stone columns to land in a heap.

Despite the sheen of sweat lightly covering his forehead, Hiruzen Sarutobi smiled warmly at the branch clan members of his family as they helped him retrain his body long withered due to years of neglect. His stance firmed up once again as two more chakra signatures surged, his eyes sweeping away from the fallen youth once the chakra reinforcement ebbed from his slumped form, his attention now needed elsewhere for the moment.

He was only halfway through tonight's session and his greatest challenge was yet to come.

Two more figures darted and weaved among columns as they closed in on the venerable Clan Head in a pincer attack. The training exercise was designed to stress and help develop their chakra network, the goal being to reinforce the training staves as well as their bodies during the entire session. Despite the impossible task of unseating their Clan Head, everyone in the Sarutobi Clan was at a fever pitch; something had spurred their powerful patron back into action and he once again trained with them even at such a late hour. The end result being that the skill of the entire clan was beginning to rise back to its former place of prominence. It was a reason to rejoice within the clan walls of their compound.

The resounding clash of wooden weapons filled the hall even as _Hitsuji_ indicated another pair to start the next round. There were a great many members to work through before the final round and he wanted to push the old man, to force him past his limits before the night was through. No more coddling would be tolerated.

"Glad you could come watch," his lazy voice offered up to his right side.

"I have to be here." The figure observed casually from behind her pointy-eared ANBU mask. "I'm one of the few with any skill in _Iryojutsu_ and the only healer in the clan with enough clearance to be here." The female ANBU watched idly as another youth bounced their way out of the center ring.

The taller male grunted an acknowledgment. _Rinkusu_ had a point. They were hoping to keep Hiruzen's training over the past five months a secret as long as possible. Everyone knew what was at stake if the man's former student was indeed coming back to kill him.

"How goes the turnover?" The left hand lazily came up to indicate three more challengers and he smiled beneath his mask as they were coming to the more experienced fighters of the clan. The challenges would grow harder on the old man. His silent humor nearly missed the frustrated hiss from his diminutive partner.

" _Dragon_ is angrier than I've ever seen before, a quiet simmering hatred." _Ram's_ body tensed briefly before he could force it to relax. He'd seen that hatred once against a score of Iwa nin before _Dragon_ ascended to the office. The memories still made him shiver in his dreams.

"I hope they can forgive the old man. He had his reasons," he countered.

"He was wrong, and you know this. Stop defending him." She seemed perturbed, her words clipped and precise.

"I'm not defending his actions," he began as his arm paused in another upward swing, "I'm just saying they've been friends for over a decade, and I'd hate for him to lose _Dragon's_ support." His arm resumed its motion and pickled off the remaining five attackers. "He has soo few of those left these days."

"True," came the terse reply from the smaller figure, "but he still has us."

 _Ram_ nodded once as he handed the bamboo reed to his life-long partner and hefted his own training stave, the two-meter length of polished wood gleaming with a wicked blue light to match the one held by the now grinning senior citizen. Hiruzen assumed a more rooted stance with one arm held above his head and his lead grip pointing the bo in his hands towards the ground in a blocking position.

"True, he always has us." With that, the middle-aged ANBU blurred from his position on the wall, the sigil of the Sarutobi Clan, like all of its smaller counterparts on each of the columns, glowing with a soft light illuminating the spacious chamber.

With a manic smile underneath his mask matching the one mirrored on his father's face, Hyousuke Sarutobi rushed forward to engage in the final battle of the night with the bruised and panting members of Clan Sarutobi watching with anxious faces as the two powerhouses met in an explosion of chakra, sweat, and gritted teeth.

~III~


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** A couple of quick responses to the unidentified guest comments:

1\. I obviously can't tell you what Guren found for Kabuto as that would ruin the surprise.

2\. Someone commented that Naruto's whisker marks were a result of him being exposed to Kurama's chakra while still in the womb. This would be true in canon. This is NOT canon. No one bat an eye when Kishimoto ignored that fact with Gaara (and before you say something, it has been routinely stated by the author that the rings under the Ichibi Jinchuuriki's eyes were caused by sleep deprivation and not as a result of being exposed to the tanuki's chakra while still in the womb). This is an AU fanfic and, as such, I've altered the rules for being exposed to the 9-Tail's chakra.

No, Mito did not have the same tattletale markings as she sealed the bijū away much later in her life.

Yes, Kushina developed a similar set of whisker marks (in my fanfic only) as she was fairly young when the bijū was sealed inside her body and her chakra network was not as fully matured.

No, I will not change this as it's my story, my rules, but thank you for bringing up the point.

3\. For the guest that asked how Ella's rack compares to Tsunade's, Tsunade will remain the undisputed "Bosom Queen" in Kishimoto's fantasies. I always found it odd in stories how Naruto (or anyone really) could accurately estimate the size of a woman's chest by eyesight alone, especially when most of them wrap with bindings. So, I don't like to use cup sizes. Naruto, even with multiple trips through the timeline, didn't pick up Jiraiya's perverseness and can only describe them generally as "huge" or "bigger than my hands." However, to satisfy your curiosity I believe someone once equated Tsunade to a "J" cup, which makes sense (she'd need ridiculous amounts of strength to haul those things around). Using that as a guide, Ella would probably be between an "F" and an "H" cup. It's not like she'll sit still or agree to be measured and she sure as heck isn't going to wear a bra for anyone other than Naruto (and not even that right away). Opal is still growing (being physically close to Hinata in physical age/ development despite being over three hundred years old). None of this really matters since the _Umihebi_ don't generally interbreed with humans; they just have a human form to make interaction easier.

To the person claiming this is another Naruhina fic, just… no. I can say that in no other way. Read the summary. Note the pairing listed there. Just because he's friends with the bluenette does not automatically make them lovers.

Nevertheless, here is a quick update to help shorten the long delays between posts. I give you _An Interlude._

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 30: A Quiet Night Before the Storm**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _Back in the training field, one Naruto Uzumaki was discovering that he was abruptly left the last man standing and he found the sudden isolation smothering. He wanted to celebrate his amazing progress and, if the humans of his village weren't going to help him, then he knew the right crowd that would. Several had signs later and a healthy burst of smoke left in his wake, Naruto vanished from the forest replacing the earthy scent of Konoha with the salt-ladened air of the Glittering Grotto._

 _He was rewarded with the happy squeal of an ivory-hued_ echidnae _and her two best friends._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Glittering Grotto, Upper Tier ~**

Naruto was surrounded on both sides by cooing and gurgling and, to be quite honest, he was very contented with himself.

Arriving at the Grotto immediately after departing Team Ten's training field, he had barely enough time to register a successful reverse summoning to Opal's cavern before the excited ivory-ette pounced on him (in her human form) from behind. Barreling him to the stone floor, the happy summons promptly flipped him over so she could "smoosh him with hugs" as she liked to refer to her pleasant greetings, greetings he rather enjoyed with her softer human cushions.

That was over an hour ago.

Now he found himself inside the large stone depression she slept in with her back resting against the gently curving stone and his back resting against her stomach; she insisted that he be comfortable with his less sturdy human body and that ultimately led to the back of his head resting in the valley of her cleavage. Once her fingers began kneading his scalp and trailing lightly through his hair, the now very comfortable male had absolutely zero strength or motivation to change his current situation, all of which Opal was quite contented with. Then the Twins unleashed all their curious glory.

"Is this _him?!"_

"He looks underfed."

"Don't they feed him in the human world?"

"Those whiskers… _kawaiiiiiiiiiii!_ "

"Where are his scales? Not very resilient, is he?"

"What happens if I poke here…" (Feel free to insert Naruto's shocked squeak here)

Five minutes later after a sound scolding and a very cross Opal (whose scowl was directed at a very contrite Nectamia) pouting at her diminutive friend.

"How was I supposed to know. It's not like we've had a personal summoner before," Minō began and Nectamia finished.

"He's not food," Opal groused, her entire body glowing a soothing green color as she healed the rather nasty bite mark on Naruto's right arm.

"You never know until you try!" Minō opined.

"I think he looks rather tasty," Nectamia smirked.

"Try this again and I will personally find him a new messenger." Opal's eyes were narrowed dangerously, the smaller _echidnae_ sitting on their haunches with their heads hung and tails curled around their limbs protectively.

"We are…" Minō began.

"Truly very sorry," Nectamia finished.

Naruto ended the standoff by reaching up to either side and gently scratching under their chins, the heads of the smaller serpents being shorter than the length of his (now healed) forearm. This, in turn, led to another surprising discovery; in addition to purring much like the whiskered blond did when you stroked his whisker marks, _echidnae_ tended to lose partial control of their chameleon-like abilities, the coloration of the smaller Twins rippling from their chins, down along head and neck before rolling through their bodies in bright blue waves.

It then devolved into a lounging party as each of the messengers morphed into their more petite forms with their heads resting comfortably on their summoner's thighs while he rubbed their spiky-haired crowns. Even knowing that the pair were several hundred years older than Opal, their tiny forms resembled some of the civilian Academy girls in Naruto's class, at least until he began to pay closer attention to the subtle differences.

Their hair resembled a dark purple bob, the very tops crowned with many threadlike spikes. When their eyes were open, the iris color matched their hair. Their identical faces shared strong cheekbones and slightly wider jaw structures, but their lips were full and pouty despite currently being parted at the gentle touch of their summoner.

Sliding his eyes along their slender necks, Naruto couldn't categorize their bodies as anything other than petite. Slender arms with lean muscles were latched onto his own as he soothed away their apprehension. At first glance, their human forms could have been mistaken for early teen children, that is until you took a closer look. Like other _echidnae_ unused to human contact, they neglected to cover their lavender-tipped breasts which he thought were still larger than the screeching pinkette from his graduating class, if only by a small margin. Their bodies weren't unformed, their waists narrowing and hips flaring noticeably. They were simply smaller than the others _wyrmkin_.

Noting Naruto's focused stare on their figures, both messengers blushed a brilliant shade of red.

"You shouldn't…"

"…stare at us so," Nectamia finished, her teeth nibbling at her lower lip despite her hands neither releasing his arm or moving to cover up her partial nakedness. Naruto's face started from its daze bringing a reddish tinge to his cheeks as his eyes snapped from the purple eyes of one to the other.

"Gomen, I didn't mean to." Opal's thoughtful humming behind him made him a bit more self-conscious. "I was trying to puzzle why there are such differences in your human forms."

This caused Opal to perk up sensing another opportunity to teach her Walker about her clan and further cement her bond with him. "What do you mean, N-Naruto-sama?" She winced briefly still unable to drop the reflexive honorary from his name.

At least she wasn't calling him _Walker_ still. Kami how he hated formal titles.

"Well, I understand that there are different strains of _Umihebi_ , that you come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. What I don't understand is why your human forms are so different." He twisted his head around far enough to glance up into her face, his head bouncing comfortably on her right mound.

"I mean, you have the body of a kami," here Opal blushed a brilliant shade of pink, "and, if you were human and I could start a family with you, I'd snatch you away from any male trying to steal your heart from me." He'd already spun his head back around, Opal unconsciously guiding his skull back to its proper resting place upon her chest, so Naruto missed the rapid deepening of her blush as the poor female's brain began to temporarily shut down.

"But the Twins are different. I thought all _echidnae_ , whether male or female, had human bodies like yours or Regnus."

He seemed perplexed. Titus was a bit leaner and, despite Ella's very attractive build, he'd never seen either of the Clan's boss summonses in their human forms so there was no hope of comparison there. The carriers of the Oracle were powerfully built males and the only other shapechanged sea serpents he could remember seeing during his short familiarity with the clan. It would appear that he was learning otherwise firsthand as Mino's eyebrow began to twitch violently.

"Are you saying…" she began snatching his hand from her cheek to slap it on to one of her perky orbs.

"…that small breasts make us less female…" Nectamia continued heatedly making Naruto twitch nervously, his hand plopping down on a matching cushion.

"…than Opal-dono just because they're _small_?" they echoed dangerously.

"No! Of course not! Beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes," he blurted out effectively changing their angry faces to ones of surprise (the flaming blushes remained). "I just want to understand why your bodies develop differently aside from your family line. The more I know about your whole clan, the smarter I can be when summoning one for help."

Opal was clearly well balanced, but the Twins were whip-cord lean, their well-muscled legs and nicely proportioned backsides the only anomalies on their slender forms.

"That's an easy question to answer… _Walker_." All four blanched with fear at the sound of Ella's sicky sweet tone. "Just as soon as you explain why you would come to the Grotto without visiting the eldest of your summonses first?"

The inflection of her voice did not give the impression of her statement being either a question or optional when it came to providing a proper response.

Another hour later, and a slightly-bruised Naruto found himself laying in a different lap with a lump gradually fading from the top of his head. Opal was sitting on her heels off to the side, the Twins on her left and right, all three with bumps on their own heads and anime tears streaming down their anguished faces much to Naruto's frustration. He blinked as Ella's finger tapped him between the brows snapping him out of his annoying funk and back to the conversation of the past hour.

He'd learned quite a bit about _echidnae_ in the interim, the conversation definitely providing him with a great deal to consider. Despite initially being very skeptical of what he was hearing, the Konohan examples he had to draw from seemed to bear out the older _wyrmkin's_ theories.

Humans generated two types of chakra which they converted to infuse and create elemental jutsus through their affinities. Yin and Yang-based chakra represented the two necessary halves, the mental and physical aspects generating will and form. Their Sages taught that these chakra forms have the side effect (added benefit) of influencing the physical and mental development of the user. Ella advocated those who focused on _Yin_ manipulation and intellectual pursuits tended to develop sharper minds, quicker synapses for eye-hand coordination, and stronger affinities for both _Gen_ and _Iryojutsu_. Conversely, those with greater _Yang_ affinities developed stronger more well-developed bodies, powerful physical skills like _taijutsu_ or _bukijutsu_ , and stronger elemental affinities with substantive effects, their bodies tending to mature sooner and with greater variation than their Yin counterparts and far above the average civilian.

Looking back at Anko, Tenten, Hinata, and now Ino, Naruto really didn't have much room to argue especially when compared to the likes of Sakura and the rest of the Uchiha Fan Club.

For the _echidnae_ , he simply had to substitute _Senjutsu_ and _Reikatsu_ , the latter forming the mental equivalent for summoning clan. Opal would become the next Sage following in the tradition of her mother, while Ella would become the next Acolyte, the equivalent of a _Yin_ -based priest in the human world. One would embody the powerful physicality of the Sage world, while the other would embody the raw power and energy of the spiritual realm, two halves of the same whole.

Those two differences had a distinct impression on the development of the associated _echidnae_. Much like the toad sages of Mount Myoboku, Opal's body would continue to blossom making her a juggernaut among the _Umihebi_. Her affinity with _nature_ chakra, just like _Yang_ chakra among humans, would enhance her body physically, in essence supercharging her development. Her scales would (eventually) become nigh impenetrable, her claws strong enough to rend chakra metal. Naruto could only imagine what her human form would look once she'd reached her peak, something he found a bit saddening as he'd most likely be long dead before then. If it was anything like Ella who claimed her growth was only a result of Mito-sama forcing her to train her meager nature chakra affinity (all elites among the clan were tied to both chakra sources only with a stronger affinity for one over the other), she doubted strongly that her natural form would be as formidable as it was nor would her human form be as appealing to the still blushing male.

"Good!" Ella beamed. "Thus, ends the lesson for today. I shall expect you to visit me first when next you are in the Grotto, as is appropriate, _Walker_." Naruto flushed with embarrassment. "We will work on your ability to channel _Reikatsu_. In addition, we will formally present you to the Clan and finally get you to sign the summoning contract."

Naruto's embarrassment began to fade as excitement started to edge out the shame of being caught.

"Yes, Walker. It is time for you to stand up among both our sects." She burst a surge of chakra and Naruto vanished in a billowing cloud of smoke, Opal's face falling further into depression with his departure.

"Never fear, sister. We will complete the bonding following this… _Exam_ he seems so concerned for." For a second, Ella's face scrunched up into concern. She was worried for a second reason, one that stirred up a great unease throughout her contacts among the _exiled_. She only hoped there would be enough time.

"Now," Opal grimaced at the suddenly harsh tone in her sister's voice, "we will address your selfish nature when it comes to _our_ summoner." Ella's body language and tone indicated clear displeasure with her sibling as evident by the already cool temperature of the cavern dropping another few degrees.

"Don't think I've forgotten your involvement in this either!" Without looking over her shoulder at the two messengers trying to silently slink from the living chamber, both now ducking and flinching slightly at the raised volume in the voice of the elder Clan Princess.

"Have a seat." They both gulped loudly. "I'll deal with the two of you in a moment." Ella's narrowed eyes never left the shivering form of her sister as she closed the distance to tower over her kneeling body with an evil grin.

~III~

Guren knelt at the memorial stone, her eyes taken with its timeless beauty. Without dwelling on the morbid fact that thousands upon thousands of names were immaculately etched into the marble colossus, she often lost herself in the forest green swirling of the polished stone.

It must have been all the seals that kept it pristine. She knew very little about them but could admire the art after seeing what Orochimaru could do with the things.

Another scowl flickered across her face, but she struggled to force it down as her mind began to unwind the last four years of her life. Four years she had dedicated to serving that worthless snake bastard who would just throw her away. Four years of unwavering devotion to a beast not worth a single day of respect. Looking backward she found a lot of new discoveries she never could have seen if not for the last few months chained to his bastard of a lieutenant; Kabuto was nothing if not a diligent student of his psychotic master.

Vanity. Among all of the signs that should have alerted her to the man's instability before she'd become inescapably trapped, the man's inability to surrender the spotlight should have been the tell-all sign to flee far and wide from Oto. He could not take criticism of anything he did and those that spoke without thinking found themselves strapped to a sterile table quick enough. She'd even personally helped a few victims end up there so it was bitterly ironic to find herself in their place not more than a few years later.

No, his biggest failure came when anyone, prisoner or henchmen, foolishly claimed that Jiraiya of the Sannin was the better seals master. Now there was a rivalry that spanned decades of miserable hatred and jealousy. Guren knew the only reason she was not suffering horribly under one of those cursed snake hickies was that until recently, recently as in when the bastard snake had carelessly gifted her to his equally hateful assistant, she'd been a top contender as a vessel for her former master and no vessel of his would be so recklessly marked.

She knew his plan to mark the Uchiha was a testament of strength for the boy and the egomaniac had plans to remove the mark once he'd won over the boy's loyalty. Until then, it was a means of control to ensure subservience.

Here Guren shivered uncontrollably before she could stop herself remembering how she'd once been ecstatic for the honor, how she'd actually pleasured herself that night in her quarters at the thought of giving her body and soul literally to the snake bastard. That thought made her stomach heave reflexively, a new ritual she'd begun in this new self-reflection thing.

Soo many poor choices in her life. Soo little time to punish herself she thought as her eyes rose once more to the monolith silently critiquing her poor life navigating skills.

Stone obelisks did not judge; they condemned. Written in line after line of immaculately tiered kanji were the names of the condemned, those that gave their all in the foolish pursuit of someone else's ideals, someone _else's_ conviction. Guren snarled as she absently tugged on the same weed she'd been pawing at for the last half hour, a half hour she'd used to swear never to willingly fall under another's banner again. No more would she blindly serve another. No more would she risk life and limb for anyone but herself. She would sow her own fate for once, her eye's skimming over the names as she focused on three recent additions to the silent keeper of Leaf history.

 _Yakan Hisakawa_

 _Fumiko Honda_

 _Kasō Kimori_

Their seals master was brilliant in his craft even if his creativity in making believable names was somewhat lacking. The names blended in with the others, even the age and wear of the carving made them almost indistinguishable. Guren snorted mentally chastising herself for ever believing that snake bastard was the greatest at everything he did. He could learn a thing or twelve from whoever added these clever seals.

If not for the fact that marble was composed of recrystallized carbonate material, she would have never noticed the unusual concentration of chakra around the three new names spaced exactly twelve centimeters apart. If not for the fact that they literally pulsed with latent chakra, she would have never considered their location made up the equidistant points of a triangle, one of the basic geometric configurations used in many of her former snake idol's rudimentary seal configurations. How many times had he used such a formation when marking his curse seal experiments right before he watched them wither and die?

Guren shivered again at the thought of another horrible fate narrowly avoided.

No, the seals were a stroke of genius, well-hidden on a stone already inundated with chakra from hundreds of mourners in addition to the seals that maintained the stone. Guren just happened to be better in tune with crystallized formations of all kinds.

She quickly mouthed a prayer to whatever kami was suddenly looking out for her as she absently glanced up at the growing shades of orange and purple in the night sky.

Surprisingly enough, everything else was harder to decipher requiring numerous trips to the village's public library while she studied everything she could on the heraldry and genealogy of Konohan families. No stranger to this sort of homework as an assassin, she spent many hours under the guise of "preparing for her citizenship exam" in the public section shocked at the availability of such dangerous information to any half-competent spy. Clearly, the Leaf had become complacent (and sloppy) during the many years of peace the powerful village enjoyed. She almost felt sorry for them as they seemed like good people outwardly.

Guren's face twisted up into a frown as the weed's stem snapped in her strong fingers and she tossed it away to begin picking at the base root.

None of the names were tied to Konoha. The first two were meaningless and the Kimori Clan was a family of tea traders from the same land of their profession. Coincidence or transplant? Guren didn't believe in coincidence and so she began dissecting the names and came up with three words among the seemingly garbled mishmash of confusion.

" _Will of Fire"_

"Yakan" translated roughly to "mettle" or "intestinal fortitude." The rest of the name was all but worthless to her. The second name was a bit more confusing until she dissected the last name; Kasō meant "conflagration" and Kimori roughly translated to "tree forest," the latter not unusual in a heavily forested region like Hi no Kuni. It took several moments staring at the _forest for the trees_ before it clicked and Guren had to resist slapping her own palm to her forehead in the middle of the library the day before Kabuto's patience ran out.

Will. Fire. Konoha's bloody _Will of Fire_ was staring her in the face the whole time. The "Hon" part of "Honda" was an old reference to the "source" or "origin" of something. The rest of the name was just a foil to make her spin her wheels and she grinned despite herself; anyone familiar with Konoha's history and traditions would not have spent days pouring over texts to learn the simple meaning, meaning that this was a trap to weed out spies. Spies just like her.

She felt suddenly very conscientious back then as she forced herself to casually return the heavy bound books back to their original locations and stroll without a single outward care from the library. She would find returning there later just for casual reading the hardest thing she'd ever done as a spy but the thought of killing her current torturer gave her all the _yakan_ she needed to see it through.

Now, as she watched the final rays of the sun disappearing below the horizon, Guren waited patiently as the sound of a screeching hawk dragged her from the deep introspection, several of the shadows hidden among the cemetery shadows leaping away towards the center of town. Not ten seconds later, she felt the familiar slimy chakra of her second most hated dirtbag slithering from the tree line.

It wouldn't be long now.

* * *

The Sandaime was enjoying the early evening walk to his clan compound. He tried to make it back once a week to enjoy time with his grandson knowing opportunities like this were rare indeed. His parched face crinkled around the eyes knowing that all of this, not just his clan, but all of the clans in Konoha would be in very real danger soon enough and he needed to be prepared. Until then, he'd enjoy the quiet moments when they presented themselves.

Enjoying the silence of his personal stroll near the monument, his eyes caught the western wall of the silent clan home that bordered his property and sighed once heavily. Oh, how he used to enjoy stopping there to visit with Kushina as she puttered around the kitchen with a growing belly. If only he could have changed what happened on that tragic night…

Breaking away from pointless reminiscing, Hiruzen made the turn leading up the path to the tori gate marking the official entrance to his clan home and suddenly vanished to reappear next to the guards slumped against the gates heavy wooden poles, both dead. An explosion further up the path snapped his head up, his practice _bo_ appearing in his right hand with a rush of released air.

' _Konohamaru!'_

A ghost himself, the Lord Third streaked off like a wraith looking for souls to feast upon, his four shadows trying to keep pace with their vengeful master.

* * *

Naruto reappeared in Team Ten's training ground with a flash of smoke. Stifling a cough as he batted away the whirling wisps, he couldn't help but try to shrug off the tingling sensation creeping up his spine through his bond with Opal. He hoped Ella wouldn't be too hard on her.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he began the ten-minute trudge home with only a passing glance up at the darkening sky. The sun was apparently past its nightly death of vibrant hues and well into the soothing blue-grey blanket signaling the day's end. As he passed from the cloistered trees and into the village proper, his ears could hear the buzzing hum of electricity in the streetlamps above his head, his body relaxing at the night's normal rhythm of things.

The day's inhabitants were being swapped out with the normal "night crowd," as he liked to call them. The middle-aged and older adult crowd slowly gave way to the younger generation, loud teenagers and young adults wearing what he assumed passed for the latest blaring fashions, bright colors seemingly intermixed with little regard to function or (in some blaring examples) fit. Since when did baggy overcoats and skin-tight jeans become the fashion?

He sighed and shuffled onward, his mind trying to ignore the growing cacophony of sound and sight as his mind wrestled with the day's events.

It's not that he was sad or even disappointed. To be honest, he was expected to overcome the challenge and regain enough control to "do his job" as a proper shinobi. It was to be expected. Then why was he so bummed? Why did he flit off to the Grotto knowing Haku would be wai-.

' _Crap!'_ he mused internally, his eyes snapping up in the direction of the Towers he called home. _'I completely forgot about that!'_ Releasing a heavy sigh, he didn't remove his hands from his pockets, but Naruto's pace quickened enough to cut his trip home in half. It mattered little in the way of his expectations as he found the slender girl where he figured she'd be.

Despite the dim lighting of the apartment, his keen eyes could make out the twin place settings at his dining table, two once tall candlesticks having burned down past half their original length. He sighed at the molten mass of wax cluttering the base of the holders in hardening clumps then his eyes traveled from the dancing embers to the full place settings at opposite ends of the squared table. More importantly, he looked to the dozing figure turned sideways in her chair so she could still face the door, her legs held firmly together, hands on knees, back straight. He smiled softly as her long mane of brown hair cascaded freely down her left shoulder and her head bobbed once again only to lightly jerk back to an upright position, her eyes closed as she fought off the Sandman in a losing battle.

Softly closing the door behind him, Naruto slid off his sandals then padded across the entry to gently place a warm hand on her shoulder, the skilled kunoichi snapping awake with minimal twitching. Dark chocolate pools blearily swung upward to meet his gaze as the dazed teen leaned into the hand laying gently on her cheek.

"Thank you," Naruto whispered out almost as if he was afraid to fully wake her. It was enough, however, as eyes halfway towards closing again flickered open to stare with dazed confusion before turning to take in the now cold pheasants covered in a congealing glaze of something the color of honey.

"uh… I-I…" she was trying to regain her wits, her words sputtering as her hands came up to gently take hold of his own while her thoughts cleared. "G-Give me a moment…" she inhaled strongly to rush oxygen to her sluggish brain hoping to spike her metabolism.

Naruto brought up his other hand to cup the other side of her face, the warmth involuntarily closing her eyes as he spun her face back to meet his own crinkling smile. The guilt was heavy with him; he'd forgotten all about the poor girl after she'd done so much to help Naruto celebrate what she knew would be a successful day for him. Between the _echidnae_ , his girlfriend, and Haku, he felt like an emo ass.

 _Somewhere in the clan district, Sasuke Uchiha fought the urge to run out into the streets looking for a blond dobe to pummel._

A certain brooder king flashed across his mind as he leaned forward to embrace the sputtering female, her words dying out quickly as she blinked into his chest with rapidly blushing cheeks.

Breaking their impromptu moment, Naruto spun her gently to face the table before sliding her seat up against its wooden edge. Without another word, even as her now wide-awake eyes followed his casual stroll around to his side, he took his own seat and raised the now cold sake up in a toast. It was a jerky moment as Haku reached for her own saucer before she could join him, but she managed.

"To remembering what matters," he panned out in a humble voice, his eyes locking onto the still red-faced young woman across from him.

"To… remembering what… matters," she parroted back still a bit confused. She was also partially shocked as her master tucked into his cold meal without complaint. Zabuza would have-. She froze at that thought chastising herself for the comparison remembering these were two vastly different people in her life, the latter now forming her entire world.

With a smile, Haku laid the fancy cloth napkin she purchased earlier in the day snugly into her lap and dinner proceeded quietly as the two enjoyed the fading candlelight of their celebratory meal.

After once again having to persuade the ice user that he didn't need a human body pillow for the night and that her new futon should help her sleep better than the pullout couch, Naruto collapsed onto his bed looking for nothing more than a peaceful night's rest. Tomorrow morning would come all too quickly beginning with their mission brief to rescue his cousin from Kusagakure, something he was grimly looking forward to. Which was why he was completely surprised when his rapid fall into peaceful slumber turned into a rapid freefall through the air of a brisk summer night in Konoha's forest, the fall ending with a vicious splash into a chilling body of water deep enough to pull him under into its inky blackness. A few furious kicks with his feet as his arms clawed his way back to the surface and the blond eventually crawled back to the shallow shore of a grassy bank, his hacking coughs shattering the peaceful night calm as he looked up to find no bright half-moon like the one that escorted him home from the training field.

"Okay… _cough!... hack!..._ You know," he sputtered a few more time before being able to draw in a solid breath, "you could have just asked me to join you in here." Barking the remaining water from his lungs, the vessel turned an annoyed pair of burnt orange eyes to his left to glare at the frowning face of his tenant, her hands planted firmly on her hips as a sign of her clear disdain.

' _So much for a quiet night,'_ he carped internally.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: A Deal with the Devil You Know**_

* * *

"Absolutely not!" came the tenth adversarial response from the purple-haired beauty in ANBU body armor.

 _Neko_ was quickly moving past annoyed to aggravated and the worst part of it was that she had no one to blame but herself for it. She was the one that offered up the invite to _Tora_ and _Ushi_. She was the one that just had to gloat about her new recruit and now she was paying for it in spades.

It was only fair, wasn't it? As the junior Captain of the three special branches, she went last in just about everything. She got last pick in communal tech. She was last to pick in the draft for new talent. The hand-me-down list of crappiness just never seemed to end so, when the Hokage offered her not one but two new bodies to fill up her struggling ALPHA Squad roster, well, she just had to rub the noses of her senpais in it. A girl was entitled to some vindication after that traitorous bastard…

No, she shook off those hateful thoughts not wanting to ruin her already failing mood as she listened to her two senior Captains try to explain why either one of them deserved the new hopeful, Naruto Uzumaki, more than she did.

She was not amused.

" _Neko-chan,_ surely you must understand that life in the heavy combat company will wear him down just as it did-." She whirled around on the mellow-voiced Tiger ANBU with a silent finger pointing straight up in the air. Everyone who knew Yugao understood that conversation about the only other living Uchiha was taboo. She had a hard-enough time substantiating her promotion filling his vacated spot in the same, and once highly respected, ALPHA Squad was more than just administrative smoke signals. It was hard enough proving that she earned her spot in ANBU let alone that she deserved the promotion to Captain.

Bringing up the _Traitor_ was a guaranteed invitation to hug any one of the many sharp, pointy things hidden upon her very curvy person, point first.

"I'll kill him myself before I let that come to pass," she hissed out. While his mask prevented anyone from seeing his face's reaction, _Neko_ could almost picture the soft-spoken nin blinking in shock.

"Yes," he began slowly, "I believe you would."

Satisfied, _Neko_ spun on her pivoting foot and resumed her purposeful stalk to _The Kunai_. She had a friend to meet so the celebration eventually leading to her dousing her liver in tons of alcohol could hopefully salvage what was left of her "happy day."

"Both of you are mistaken," the third voice piped in finally.

' _Dear Kami, he's still hanging around?'_ the now miserable sword mistress grumbled internally. Why couldn't they both just be happy for her? Why couldn't they just let her have a moment's happiness with her new psyche victims, er, recruits? Was that too much to ask for?

"Did you see those twin _Rasengans_ in his hands? That's DEMO-quality jutsu if ever I saw it!" he all but roared.

' _Whatever happened to silent but deadly? By the gods, why couldn't he stick to that creed just this once?'_

"He doesn't need to waste time tip-toeing around in your backstabber's convention," _Tora_ made no attempt to hide his disgust at the beefy nin's derogatory comment, "and he doesn't need to get turned into a pincushion as part of your meat grinder." _Neko_ made an annoyed sound halfway between a _tsk_ and a scoff. "His place is with the Sappers and you know it."

Both masked nin laughed out loud at the suggestion, one because he wanted the recruit and the other because she already had him under lock and key. Then someone decided to play dirty.

"I'll offer a six-month supply of _Kanahada_ ," the tiger-faced nin blurted out making Yugao stutter to an almost immediate stop in the middle of the Market District street. "And not the low-quality stuff. I'm talking Nugui."

It was no secret that budgetary sacrifices were still being made following the last great war and the subsequent assault by the damnable fox. Nin rosters across the village were still creeping up from barebones levels necessitating double and triple mission runs levied with a heavy forty-percent tax to help restore the village, though many wondered (often openly and loudly) where all that money was disappearing to. Many questioned even more loudly how the village looked barely maintained while certain civilian sectors seemed to flourish even during financial downturns.

This meant the ANBU, those that should have earned the lion's share of funding, often supplemented their meager operating funds through barter, trade, and miserly scrimping. Many often sacrificed personal comfort to pour some of their earnings into their squad's capital funds.

Having a large bank account did you no good if your gear failed you in the field leading to your death so they kept a close guard on hard-to-learn skills instead trading their talents for much-needed supplies their team had difficulty mastering on their own. Yugao herself routinely helped fund her team by teaching _kenjutsu_ to other ANBU, a highly perishable skill she devoted obscene amounts of time to off-books.

That is exactly why _Ushi_ whistled through his teeth while Yugao stood there in utter shock. Everyone knew about her fetish with swords compounded by her almost religious devotion to maintaining her weapons (no one that knew her spoke about her secret sword shrine in the guest bedroom of her shared apartment). Many hypothesized it was her way of coping until she could marry her boyfriend and work on a breathing collection of small people but Tenzo knew better. The simple truth was that she loved swords like Naruto loved Ramen and _Kanahada_ was a very high-grade sword polish, the Nugui mix using powdered fine iron oxide mixed in with extra fine powder of polishing stones. It was expensive to buy, a month's supply (for a normal person) costing as much as a B-rank mission. A month's supply for _Neko_ would break most traders looking to bargain with the strong kunoichi.

"I counter with a year's supply plus five repair vouchers with Higurashi." Tenzo sucked air through his teeth at the counter move. _Armadillo_ was a skilled armorer, the best the ANBU force had seen in almost twenty years but there was only so much he and his four apprentices could do with three hundred dedicated customers. The wait list for repairs in the Corps was almost eight months long and not shrinking any time soon. Higurashi, a former nin that now ran one of the best armorers in the Land of Fire, had greater capacity and turned out equally fine work. Add in the fact that he could mix in specialty elements to strengthen and repair weapons and _Ushi_ 's offer was a damning one.

"I'll see your counter and raise you my first-round pick in the next draft," _Tora_ counter-countered leaving a reeling _Bull_ in his wake. So heavy into their trade war were they, neither one noticed the increasingly angry shaking of the kunoichi they were trying to woo with their succulent bribes. It was as _Ushi_ was pretending to roll up his sleeves in order to dig deep and get serious that she rounded on them both.

"JUST STOP IT!" Both masked faces turned to stare at her blankly (appropriate given the unemotional masks facing her. "He's not a toy to be passed around and I'll not treat him like a pet to give away now that I have a full squad!" Her murderous aura had long since driven off innocent bystanders within two blocks of their location, so her voice echoed in the now empty streets.

"Hokage promised him to me. He's _my_ newbie. END. OF. STORY!" Without another word, she vanished in a rush of wind and leaves leaving behind two very stunned ANBU Captains. She desperately needed a stiff drink or five and was hoping to be bowlegged by the end of the night if Hayate was home.

"Wow, she overreacted just a bit, don't you think?"

Tenzo turned to glance at his former bid war opponent and shrugged. "Must be missing her beau. I hear he's been gone for a while on some escort mission." The larger man shrugged it off and tilted his head a bit in his co-Captain's direction.

" _The Kunai?_ " he offered.

" _The Kunai,_ " Tenzo agreed. He didn't get ten paces before adding, "I still think he's better suited in the I&A Company." _Ushi_ snarled and gripped his spiky brown hair.

"Oi! Don't start that again!"

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** P.S. Reviews help refine the writing process. Please feed the monster.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Just a reminder, I don't own Naruto, but this fanfic is mine. While I am thankful for constructive feedback, I write the story the way I choose.

Also, those of you wondering why Kabuto is interested in the memorial stone will get your answer this time around. 'Nuff said. Back to the story…

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 31: Nightmares of Mice and Snakes**_

* * *

 _ **~Previously on No More~**_

 _Breaking away from pointless reminiscing, Hiruzen made the turn leading up the path to the tori gate marking the official entrance to his clan home and suddenly vanished to reappear next to the guards slumped against the gate's heavy wooden poles, both dead. An explosion further up the path snapped his head up, his practice bo appearing in his right hand with rush of released air._

' _Konohamaru!'_

 _A ghost himself, the Lord Third streaked off like a wraith looking for souls to feast upon, his four shadows trying to keep pace with their vengeful master._

~III~

* * *

 **~An Hour Before Naruto's Return to Konoha~**

"The Old Man's" feet whispered across the flagstone path winding through the grove of trees shading the Sarutobi walk, his eyes flickering left to right discerning friendly shadows from hostile. Unfortunately, there was twice the number of shadows there that should have been, and his face grew even grimmer.

The two Konoha ANBU to his left broke off to intercept three shadows and his left hand twitched once, then twice. The high-pitched whirring of metal streaked through the trees squelching into soft flesh. Two of the shadows stumbled and fell. Only one tried to claw its way back to its feet before the downward stroke of an ANBU blade flashed in the moonlight ending its struggle forever.

The Sandaime never once paused in his flight, never once deviated from his course, even as the chirping call went out over all available frequencies. He knew help would arrive soon even if it wouldn't be in time for some. Knowing the arrogance of the fools invading his family home, Sarutobi's rage spiked as his killing intent washed out in front of his group like a tsunami.

The lush canopy gave way to the stars above and the grand courtyard of the Clan Complex, a large open stone way bordered by three good-sized homes. Hiruzen knew they would have to sweep everything in the front before he could check the remaining quarters in the back but he was forced to push those thoughts to the side as an eruption of Katon heat flared up just to his right: The Branch Home of the Sarutobi Clan.

His right hand swept up nearly throwing the two-meter stick outward as it slid through his grip until it was extended as far as it could go. The staff smashed into the back of a hooded invader about to overwhelm young Toshiko, the girl having been forced down to one knee with her staff held across her body and above her head to stop a downward kunai slice. The tip of Hiruzen's staff smashed into the spine of the attacker with a sickening crunch, the black-clothed invader dropping like a puppet with severed strings. Toshiko-chan's cross-body swing of her staff robbed the figure of consciousness as the reinforced end struck what Hiruzen presumed was a male in the jaw speeding up his passage into the darkness. Hiruzen did not wait for the thanks he knew was coming, the rebound of his weapon sending it back into his waiting grip as he signaled to the house now going up in flames. His remaining ANBU guard dashed off in that direction no more than a twin pair of shadows as the Sandaime rushed headlong into the main home without hesitation as _Hitsuji_ streaked off to check the two-story traditional home on the left side of the courtyard.

By the time Hiruzen ghosted past the broken doors, the gentle Hokage had been replaced by the _God of Shinobi_.

The fighting stick moved as if it had a mind of its own. Shooting directly above the old man's head, it smashed into the chest of the hooded shinobi trying to drop silently onto his back. He was good, perhaps a Tokubetsu Jounin judging from his chakra concealment proficiency. He was simply out of his league as the collapsed ribcage bore testament to.

The Hokage flicked his wrist sending the body backwards out of the trashed entryway he'd come through without breaking pace.

Seeing that the ambush didn't work, two more surged forward with kunai and tanto's to cut the old man down. The staff lashed out again, sweeping across Hiruzen's body from right to left. The first assassin ducked avoiding the crushing blow by a hair but his partner was not so lucky, the blunt end of the stick smashing into his temple crushing in the side of his skull. The body shot away from the Hokage as if launched from a catapult, the old man pivoting smoothly on his now planted right foot as his left trailed behind the weapon smashing the sole of his shin-high combat sandals into the first attacker's cheek as he lunged to take advantage of the Hokage's turned back.

Hiruzen grinned with grim satisfaction as he watched the younger man's face attempt to collapse around his footwear, the boy's disfigurement followed by the sounds of jawbones, cheekbones, and cartilage snapping with frightening speed. He was dead instantly, long before his body joined his friend in widening the new hole in the side of the family's sitting room.

Hiruzen completed his rotation while flashing his chakra. While not nearly as proficient as Iruka-kun, he possessed competent skill and learned two key pieces of information.

First, there was no one else inside the home. He detected a cluster of chakra signatures in the back yard, half of which he recognized immediately.

Second, there were a small number of rapidly cooling chakra signatures inside the home, all of whom he recognized as loving servants and distant clan members. Although it meant that Konohamaru might still be alive, it, unfortunately, confirmed that this attack was a purge aimed at his family; the assassins would spare no one.

With a muttered curse, he streaked through the now silent home and out into the back yard where he saw Rinkusu holding off three assailants while a white-haired one stood off to the side observing. Upon Hiruzen's arrival, the figure turned to face the older man and Hiruzen's face paled slightly.

The Kaguya had arrived.

* * *

It was very difficult for Kabuto to maintain a slow, even pace as he entered the graveyard to "collect his wayward girlfriend." The two had been running the same ploy for over a week now, Guren coming to the cemetery to kneel and "tend" to the weeds around the memorial stone only for Kabuto to arrive around sunset and join her. The bespectacled lad would kneel next to her and she would point out the new names she'd discovered today, no more than three, and see if she could "stump the chump" by asking Kabuto if he knew about the families mentioned there.

So far it was five to eight, definitely not in her favor.

Today, however, Kabuto was trying to suppress both his chakra and his heartbeat. The distraction was well underway if the chirping alarm was anything to go by and that meant they only had mere moments to pull this off. Plastering a fake smile onto his face once again, Orochimaru's right-hand man knelt next to his accomplice and made some insipid comment about how lovely the sunset was before whispering harshly under his breath, "Begin!"

Guren calmly leaned over until her head rested on the shorter man's shoulder, a docile move that made him flinch, before casually indicating three names in a close cluster. The only difference between their previous games and this round was that she funneled just the tiniest amount of chakra into three names tracing out a triangle pattern. With her fingers resting lightly against the stone, she began vibrating the crystalline matrix of the marble until the names began to flicker and glow with a soft blue light. Once the glow became steady, she lowered her hand and used her eyes to glance about as a burst of pale blue energy released a small puff of smoke.

Both of them stared slack-jawed as a hefty scroll appeared from some dimensional storage container before falling to the soft grass. Their surprise lasted only a moment as Kabuto's hands shot forward to seize the prize, his body beginning to slide its way into the earth. He made it all the way up to his shoulders before he jerked to a halt.

The spy's shoulders jerked once, then twice, before his gaze found the glowing chakra chord trailing from the scroll to the memorial stone.

"Sneaky, sneaky old man. Where is the trust these days?" Kabuto snarked. Guren raised an eyebrow but made no comment in rebuttal. They were trying to steal the village's greatest prize after all.

Kabuto surged chakra into one of his hands and slashed at the blue chord only to make it stretch under his attack. A few more increasingly desperate slashed with his scalpel only produced the same result.

At this point, he wanted to curse and swear into the night sky. _They were soo close!_

* * *

A hundred meters away atop a gently swaying tree branch, Kakashi folded his arms across his chest as he calmly watched the spectacle. Standing next to him stood the infamous Toad Sage with an extremely disappointed look on his face.

"Maa, Jiraiya-sama. You'll just have to be happy with killing him during the attack."

Jiraiya didn't bother dignifying the observation with a comment as he watched the now frantic spy from Oto yank out a blank scroll and begin sifting through the green-banded document before finding something of interest. He watched as the traitor sprinkled a powdery substance on the document, flew through a few hand signs, then burst a tiny amount of chakra into his concoction.

"I say slit his throat and deal with Roachy when he arrives. He's gone too far to give up now, his pet snake dying or not he'll still come."

Kakashi merely eye smiled and turned his attention back to the untrustworthy duo kneeling before his sacred thinking spot. "In time, Jiraiya-sama. In time."

The Cyclop's tone of voice lacked its normal joviality and laziness as he watched the medic-nin roll the Scroll of Seals back up, re-stash it inside the monument, then leisurely guide his "girlfriend" away.

* * *

 _Rinkusu_ was fending off three attackers while four, armed clan members formed a half-circle behind her with non-combat family members huddled up for protection. The attackers didn't appear to be pressing her hard, instead opting to hurl insults, feints, and rather lewd suggestions about how they'd like to spend the next few hours which is why Hiruzen's arrival threw a wrench into their plans. Two noticed and glanced over their shoulder at the newcomer.

 _Rinkusu_ took advantage of the distraction and drove the point of her _bo_ into the throat of the attacker on her right leaving the one between her and the pale-faced bone wielder. She was bleeding from a shallow gash on her left thigh and wanted to keep a buffer between her and the lethal _Shikotsumyaku_ user _._ He already cost her a perfectly good blade with those bone swords and the woman preferred to keep him beyond arm's reach.

The underling folded like cheap linen resulting in angered curses from her remaining two assailants, one of which was eternally silenced by the resounding crack of Hiruzen's staff against his temple. Calmly stepping up to stand beside her, the old man turned to square off against the remaining two assassins gently moving his daughter-in-law backward to stand with the remaining survivors.

Hiruzen's eyes never left the pale-skinned youth, his white hair neatly framing his angular face in the dim light of the back yards sealing wards. He noticed that the corners of the youth's face turned upwards ever so slightly as his left arm motioned for the remaining nin to back away, the bone sword wiggling side to side as he stepped forward to square up against the aging Kage.

Hiruzen simply lifted his weapon with one thick-wristed hand gripping the farthest end of the stick. The youth reciprocated by raising the sword in his right hand until it clacked softly against the wooden weapon and for several minutes the two stood there watching the other, Hiruzen's dark orbs observing the lighter ones belonging to his latest, and most dangerous, opponent. They stayed that way until someone in the frightened huddle sneezed and then the two high-sprung warriors dashed forward faster than the audience could follow.

 _CLACK! POW! SNAP!_

Stopping several paces away from each other, their backs facing their opponent, the two turned back to see how their opponent fared in the exchange.

Hiruzen smiled happily noting that he escaped injury. His poor robes were not so fortunate as he felt the sudden rush of air in his billowing attire. He also spun to heft the now broken weapon nodding politely as his opponent stepped backwards motioning that the older man should replace the weapon. Tossing it aside, Hiruzen bit one of his thumbs before blurring through the seals that would bring his most powerful ally into the fight.

Enma the Monkey King wasted no time transforming into Hiruzen's preferred weapon with a barked [Henge: Kogōnyoi!]. Taking up the nigh-indestructible weapon, Hiruzen allowed himself to smirk just a touch as the two reset for the next clash, the Kaguya doing so with just a touch of hesitation now.

A rustle of the night air gave them both pause, and a kneeling figure appeared just behind the albino bone wielder. Hiruzen couldn't make out the whisper but he thought they said something about, "It's done." Whatever it was, the bone wielder lifted a sword up in salute and the two sunk into the earth, their chakra fading out as they vanished from his limited range.

Hiruzen allowed himself to sigh with relief before a harsh, "That bastard left me!" brought his head around to stare with surprise at the third would-be assassin from his earlier entrance into the dire situation.

The poor man's screams as _Rinkusu_ beat him unconscious could be heard by the ANBU just now beginning to storm the Sarutobi Clan Home on behalf of their beloved Kage.

* * *

 **~Current time in Naruto's Mindspace~**

* * *

" **What the hell are you doing?"**

Naruto blinked numbly his confusion written all over his face. Just to make sure she wasn't speaking to someone other than him, he turned his head to glance around confirming the nearby farming village was filled with silent huts dark with the absence of moving life forms.

 **"What the hell are you, yes, _you_ doing?"**

" **Yes, I'm referring to you,"** the bijū sniped. **"Who else would I speaking to?"** This snapped Naruto's gaze back to her as he rocked back onto his haunches.

"I was trying to go to sleep," he returned with a bit of snark only to receive a barking hiss in return. Kurama stalked forward to grab him by the neck of his mental avatar, her delicate hand looking oddly out of place as she yanked him into the air by one arm, his toes tickling the grass just beyond the reach of his feet.

"I'm… missing… something obvious… h-here…" he croaked out, the back of his mind finding it odd that his mental self-projection still needed oxygen. He was even more put out at its clear distress at not having enough in his current predicament.

" **I've been patient,"** the growling chakra titan began, **"because you asked me to trust you."** Her hand tightened noticeably. **"But you've appeared to have forgotten why we're going through all of this nonsense in the first place."**

Her voice was an angry rumble now despite her more diminutive stature.

"C-Can… we t-t-talk… about t-this?" he rasped out. For several long minutes, the miffed nine tails locked eyes with the by now blue-faced Genin, something Naruto had to admit was difficult to do from his lofty position, before she unceremoniously dumped him on the damp grass. As he panted into the lush earth of his mindscape, Naruto marveled at the detail of his inner universe.

" **You've played long enough,"** she quipped.

He had to grunt and clear his throat before a normal sound would emerge. " _Played_? What are you talking about?!" Naruto tried not to notice how squeaky his voice sounded right then, his bruised throat protesting its use at the moment.

The smaller woman swiped her arm into the air and at least a dozen rectangular screens materialized with full-color images moving in each one. Naruto rubbed his throat as he glanced from one silent movie to the next, his mind short-circuiting when he glanced at an image near the middle that looked suspiciously like a naked version of himself smashed against a naked version of the Kyuubi, both standing waist-deep in the very lake he just crawled out of, their mouths frantically vying for dominance in a ferocious liplock, her curvy body molded to his enough to accent all of the sensual curves of her form as her chest pressed firmly against his own.

He sputtered and pointed with one hand still massaging his neck, his red-faced gurgling enough to force the angry bijū to blink in confusion, turn to see what he was gawking at, then glow a brilliant red from head to toe right before she began swiping angrily at the image with both hands. It shattered into a million twinkling lights not to be replaced with another floating TV screen.

" **Not. A. Word. Or. You. Die."** Her back was still to him so he couldn't see her brightly glowing blush.

"Bu-." His thoughts were cut off by the blazing red orbs currently passing for her eyes once she stopped moving, her blurring body materializing in front of him with her face less than a hand's breadth from his own.

" **Not. A. Word."** Her left hand shot backward to point at the remaining images, her hand pointing up at them remainder indicating that he should focus on something other than what he thought he saw.

Looking back to the remaining eleven, he saw scenes of him laughing and talking with Akimi at Ichiraku's, a younger version of himself playing ninja with Anko, and recent images of him training and studying with his fragmented clones. They were snapshots of his current life, snippets of the different foci he'd prioritized in his goal to learn as much as he could before the final slide took place. Opal and Ella flickered across several screens and one seemed permanently affixed to the Sandaime's smiling (or frowning) face.

His eyes raked over scenes of him at the A.S.C., the older daughter Kirika leaving a fresh cup of tea as he poured over seals studying for his fourth and fifth level mastery certifications, a memory that made him smile warmly right before his eyes noticed a familiar face with bright green eyes and pointy ears. He stepped forward to touch the screen, his hand passing through harmlessly as it focused on her sleeping face, her body wrapped in soft ivory sheets. Kurama noticed as something passed across his face before he turned away, wincing as he fought back the moisture pooling in his eyes, the ancient chakra entity feeling almost sorry for the emotional hurt she'd dredged up with that particular memory.

It all got derailed once the image settled on Iruka-sensei lying comatose in the hospital and his soft melancholy evaporated to be replaced with growing outrage. There was unfinished business there and his voice was a violent whisper as a name shot across his mind. _Ebisu._

"I haven't forgotten."

" **That is not how it appears from my limited vantage point. From the looks of it,"** her arm swept the many images hovering in mid-air, **"you have plenty of things left to distract you."** Still cross, the shorter woman folded her arms across her curvy chest and scowled imperiously from her vertically-challenged vantage point.

"You know I still need Mito's journal before the final jump." His head swiveled from Iruka's pale image to lock with hers and Kurama felt something in her stomach she couldn't explain when his feral snarl met hers. "We've discussed this several times since your awakening."

Neither one knew what to call what Inari had done to unlock her memories, so they kept trying to come up with creative names for it until they found one both of them approved of. Both paused with a thoughtful look, their faces turned up to the moonless mindscape sky as if chewing on the word to savor its taste. A few seconds later, the miniaturized bijū shook her head in the negative before bringing her gaze earthward to continue their discussion thinking the search was not yet over.

" **I get the journal. What I don't get is all this,"** she growled out sweeping her arm at the nearly dozen playing scenes behind her. **"It's almost like you're afraid of something and you're trying to hide by keeping yourself busy.** _ **What are you afraid of?!"**_

His reaction to her snarled question made her eyes flutter open in shock, her mouth falling open immediately afterward in disbelief as his shameful face turned away.

" **What are you afraid of?"** It was a whisper this time, a hushed plea that made him flinch visibly. She stepped closer to force him to focus on her and he reflexively backed away.

" **I'm right, aren't I?"** Naruto's face was a mask of pain, of sadness that she couldn't understand, and it was making the ancient being both angry and frustrated. He'd never been able to hide his thoughts and emotions from her before but now he was a blank canvas of nothing despite the near-physical pain on his face.

The frustrated clutching and opening of her fists were indicating that growing level of frustration.

"After the Chunin Exams," he mumbled out making the tiny figure pause.

" **What?"**

"I'll explain the plan after the Chunin Exams." Kurama's face constricted into a mask of rage at his obfuscation but his body faded from view as the connection broke. She tried multiple times to forcefully drag him back inside to continue the argument, to perhaps pound the information from his astral body but his consciousness was like smoke through her fingers. In a fit of rage, a _bijūdama_ tore through the sleeping village obliterating it from the landscape, the enraged chakra monster falling to her knees in frustration.

" **NO!"** Her eyes glanced skyward once again even as her voice dropped to a whisper. **"He's just like all the others."**

~III~

Naruto finished his Monday morning workout and showered with his usual efficiency. A brief visit to the mindspace while the hot water cascaded down his aching body showed a lethargic fox in all her orange glory, the human form discarded as she lay near the center of her den. Before he could call out to get her attention, Kurama opened her eyes and rose from the floor, her body turning to pad slowly out through the still open gate, the twenty-meter tall fox pausing just before stepping outside to look back in his direction without saying a word. Naruto stepped forward into the cage only to see the mighty bijū turn and exit the den quickly losing herself in the thick copse of trees beyond the entrance.

Seeing as he didn't have the time to chase her down nor the desire to send Khan out to chase her back, he faded from the mindspace without a word.

Gearing up and packing for a two-week mission, he finished a healthy breakfast before streaking across the rooftops to the mission planning office of Hokage Tower, his mind turning the conversation with his tenant over and over again. He would face his fears later but, for now, they had business to take care of.

He found his teammates waiting at the base of the tower, their sensei only a few moments behind him. A few minutes later found all four of them being directed by ANBU Team _Neko_ to follow them into the Hokage's office vice the normal mission hall for a private mission brief. With the Academy out for the summer, Iruka had taken up his auxiliary post with the Hokage for mission assignments. Behind both of them stood _Dragon_ and _Lynx_ watching silently by the back windows of the office. Once the room was covered in privacy seals, the stoic Chunin took over.

"Good morning, Team Asuma. Your primary mission will be the recovery of this Genin kunoichi from Kusagakure no Sato." He handed out several copies of a photo Naruto was already familiar with, the same redhead looking just off-camera at something.

"We have confirmed with Kusa that her Jounin team will be traveling in conjunction with another, Kusa having recently verified they were sending two teams to this year's exams." His eyes took on a dangerous glint. "Your job is to escort both teams from the Kusa border, your rendezvous point, and dispose of them before traveling more than a day from the border crossing. You will meet up with your backup team two days before the actual escort join up to firm up your plan."

"Do we know who our backup will be?" Asuma chimed in drawing the interest of his Genin as they looked up to the Chunin expectantly.

"Kakashi Hatake will be the joint team lead once you've rendezvoused. Team Seven will join you as they are a heavy combat team and Kakashi specializes in these types of elimination missions," Iruka answered calmly. Every Genin in Team Asuma grimaced much to the Hokage's saddened notice.

"Shouldn't they be here for the brief, Iruka-sensei?" The scarred Chunin smiled at the quick-minded kunoichi.

"Their brief will come closer to their departure date. We have one more thing to discuss after this that Team Seven need not be a part of." Ino nodded in understanding happy to not have to deal with her former friend and former crush just yet.

"Are they blooded?" Several people in the room blinked at the cold-blooded tone of the question from the blond shinobi.

"Yes, Naruto, but this will be their first combat mission against other shinobi." Iruka's concerned study of the boy continued even after he grunted his acknowledgment and returned the photo of their target. Seeing no further questions, he hesitantly continued.

"You are to make it appear as if Iwa staged an ambush. Defer any and all implications that Konoha could be involved in this. Any questions on the main mission?" The three Genin shook their heads in the negative.

"Good. On your way to the Kusa border, you are to stop in Hanikamu Village just to the northeast of the designated border checkpoint. There you will have four days to locate and extract this undercover agent, one Hisa Tamaguchi." The entire team memorized the thin face and unremarkable features of the plain man in his middle years, Naruto noting that if he hadn't been given the photo, he'd never notice the man in a crowd. His eyes kept trying to slide across his face as he wasn't there in the photo.

"We lost contact with him several weeks ago, Jiraiya noting the man's history of never missing a report in the past two decades."

"His cover?" Shikamaru piped up while trying to memorize the man's very forgettable face.

"He runs a paper product and a courier message service." The pineapple-haired Genin grunted out a short laugh.

"That plays well into Jiraiya-san's writer image. No one would suspect his routine visits to pick up more supplies." Hiruzen, Asuma, and Iruka nodded approvingly.

"Any other questions?" Iruka asked once more. "No? Then good luck, Team Asuma." All four of them locked their bodies to attention and saluted with a closed fist to the heart before turning to file out one at a time.

"Meet me at the western gate in one hour. Pack for two weeks," Asuma barked out before vanishing in a smoky _shunshin._

~III~

Asuma asked for a pace that would put them within sight of Hanikamu Town by early afternoon and Naruto complied. As point, he glided through the upper branches of Konoha's dense tree growth with hardly a sound to accompany the tamping of his combat sandals across the sturdy branches that made up his highway, his equally ghostlike teammates following in his wake.

Senses tuned outward, the forest floor below flickered by as the wound their way northwest through Hi no Kuni, their destination the river fork fifty miles or so south of Taki. From their sparse knowledge of the region, the small village sprung up out of necessity from its meager beginnings as a trading post now boasting a population just past four hundred sturdy citizens, the loose conglomeration headed by business-oriented clans under a civilian governor.

Traveling at shinobi speeds, a trip that would have taken a merchant caravan several days required a little over three hours at moderate speeds. Breaking through the treeline, the group descended to the tall grass and glanced down into the bowl that represented the river valley in which the village of Hanikamu made its home.

It was little more than a shallow depression from which the land had been cleared for miles around the sleepy town to make use of the lumber. In place of what used to be a thriving copse of trees now sat the squat village surrounded by a two-story wooden fence, only one double-doored gate visible from the southeastern approach. The river ran lazily to either side of the village from behind, rafts, barges and flat-bottomed boats of all sizes loitering to either pick up or delivery goods bound for market. Not much of the village itself could be seen from inside, however, two large compounds half the size of the village could be observed on the far side of both river splits beyond the village, their plots of land connected to the village proper by a pair of wooden bridges large enough to accommodate a heavy cart.

Naruto made a mental note to explore both at the first opportunity.

Along the southern side of the split river lay farmland, at least a dozen smaller homes littered amongst the fields with the northern side sporting the majority of rice paddies. South of the city Naruto could see green crops lined up in neat rows throughout the six or seven small farms nearest the walled gate. He could hear the lowing of cattle near the northern compound and, between the fairly orderly layout, had a good understanding of Hanikamu's major export products, a system easily exploitable by a skilled Genin team if push came to shove. It was almost too simple.

"Set up camp here," Asuma ordered much to Ino's displeasure. While she didn't mind camping with her main squeeze, a quick bath and warm shower beat the hard ground any time.

"Naruto, when night falls send out a team of clones to scout the village and those two compounds. I want a detailed layout of the village we can study tomorrow morning." Shika's face scrunched up.

"Sensei, wouldn't it be easier to gather intel from inside the village?"

Asuma chuckled and nodded. "It would but I learned early during my time in Keishi not to underestimate greedy civilians. The more we know before we go into that rat's nest, the better off we'll be."

"Keishi?" Ino mumbled rolling the word over in her mouth. "Who names a city 'Neglect'?"

Asuma chuckled again. "Arrogant people with no concern for the citizens they are responsible for governing." Without another word, the older man turned away from the wooden walls of corruption to help set up their camp. He'd been to Hanikamu before and held little hope that things had changed since his last visit.

Greedy people never change.

"While Naruto's raiding force is scouting out the village tonight, the rest of us are going to work out our family cover story." Three pairs of eyes blinked back in interest.

"Family?" Naruto asked with his first grin of the day.

Asuma merely nodded while pulling several ink jars and pigments from his backpack. "Yup. It looks like it's time for Uncle Kurokuru to make another appearance in the Land of Fire." His grin grew as dyes and inks gave way to well-worn but comfortable clothes, a bamboo walking stick, a large wicker _amigasa_ with thinner weavings making a small window for the wearer to peer through, and the rattiest pair of hemp-and-wood flat sandals they Genin had ever seen.

Naruto released a half dozen clones to set up camp while Team Ten discussed Uncle Kurokuru, the wandering fruit-infused rice wine vendor.

~III~

The moon was a waning gem, a haloing sliver of light in the inky night canvas. While not ideal for sneaking, it would make detection harder for guards not trained in chakra sight enhancement. Throughout the countryside, small critters began their evening ritual, soft paw pads picking their way through the brush in their daily fight for survival.

Amidst the brush, a small family of raccoons waddled the nearly invisible trail leading to farmer Wada's Asian Pear orchard, a sweet treat easily garnered from the juicy pickings still clinging to the branches above, the slender row upon row of trees easy to climb and filled with slender branches suited to small nocturnal fingers. A small stream split the orchard offering the occasional small fish with little risk as the farmer kept no hounds to harass them, their soft chittering only occasional break in the cacophony of bugs and frogs.

The eldest male paused, his ears twitching alertly as the entire family froze in place. Something had disturbed the cicada, the obnoxiously loud insects making the perfect sentry if one knew when to listen. To the clever mind of the nocturnal scavengers, the pause dragged on accompanied only by the high-pitching whining of the bugs, their constant pining undulating from higher to lower pitches their only company as the night itself seemed to release a nervous breath. Hearing no further disturbance, the pack began their climb into the lower branches in search of the succulent rewards growing there.

Nimble fingers plucked the first golden orb sniffing excitedly at the mild sugars kept just under the fruit's leathery skin. It would need to wash the object of its affections in the nearby stream, a compulsion forged through centuries of instinct. The rotund mammal turned to drop the fruit to the ground below before climbing back to retrieve its treasure when fear took over.

Something moved. There was no sound just the turning of a shadow many times its size and the icy grip of terror seized its heart. On the same branch not a tail's length from the nervously chittering male, was a shadow with hazy, glowing eyes the color of man's night fires, the eyes of a nocturnal predator comfortable in its inky black shroud.

The male's noise was beginning to grow as its fear began to take hold, the sound carrying loud enough to make the remaining pack of eight freeze in place and pivot their muzzles in his direction. They would either fight or flee as was their way, however, the reverberating trill in their Alpha's call was demanding they flee.

It was then that a dozen of the shadows leaped from the branches and raced off into the night, the sudden rush of movement scattering the nocturnal thieves in random directions, their voices wailing in terror as hunched ghosts raced along the branches without sound or scent.

It would be many weeks before the good farmer's orchard would be plagued by then ravenous animals too hungry to give in to their fear or care that their newest night terror would be long gone.

Those shadowy forms, however, would glide across the fields blended amongst the dark castings of the night sky, specters flitting silently from branch to branch as they reached the outer farms of Hanikamu. A dozen headed for the main town while another dozen gracefully arced away to patrol the seven homesteads forming the bulk of farmland produce supporting the sleepy trading village. The remaining dozen split silently into three groups of four, their destination the two larger homesteads across the river to the north of the village.

Swathed in ninja cloth to match the brooding night sky, a fine one-way mesh covering the small strip across the bridge of what would be a human's nose, they streamed unimpeded while mortal men, women, and children slept. Through the fields to peer inside homes, up along trees and walls to peer into pens, and across the gently gurgling streams leaving the barest of ripples they ran each with a destination in mind. It was like a silent dance of shadows directed by the hand of Kami meant only for the gods to see, the bored sentries walking along the city's walls ignorant of the wave of silent death gliding past them over the very walls they were sworn to safeguard. One sentry, a youth more sensitive to the gentle stirrings of the night air, paused when an icy shiver shot up his spine.

Turning quickly, his hand darting to the hilt of his weapon, he stared intensely at the narrow walkway behind the wooden tips of their wall of logs, his breath still as he released it in sputtering hisses. Was that a shadow to his right? His body jerked as he spun, his left hand lifting the lantern to shine it in the shadowy corner he'd just walked past as sweat began to pour down his face, his breathing now coming faster in gasping bursts. That corner moved, he was certain of it and now his hearing was playing tricks on him as the beating of his own heart began to pound in his ears drowning out the sounds he'd become accustomed to on his nightly shift. Inching closer to the corner, his right hand began to slowly draw the machete styled sword on his left hip, his fingers clenching and releasing nervously as he tried to reset his sweaty grip.

Another sound. Another twitch. Then a hand clamped firmly onto his shoulder and the youth shrieked like a small child as he spun whipping the blade free from its worn scabbard to swing in a wild arc behind him roughly at the height of his own neck.

"Oi! Oioioioi!" his Sergeant grumbled out backing away hurriedly prepared to draw his own sword. "What the hell are you doing, Nao?!" The youth was panting as if he'd just run from the gate to the Mayor's house and back, his face a slick sheen of sweat flowing around his saucer-sized eyes as they slowly registered the presence of his superior on his nightly rounds.

"Get a hold of yourself, boy, or you'll be cleaning the latrines for a month! You nearly took my head fool!" _Sniff! Sniiiiiiffffffff!_ "While you're at it, be sure to clean yourself after rounds are done." Having chastised his newly pissed subordinate, the good Sergeant stomped off to calm his nerves with a belt or two of sake not wanting to reveal how shaky his own hands were at the moment.

Poor Nao could only stand shocked for a few moments as he shakily tried to return his weapon to its holster, his gasping breaths ringed too loudly in his ears as his pulse hammered his chest. After six tries, the dull blade clicked home and a heavily shaking hand raked through his sweat-soaked hair before wobbly legs carried him off to complete his rounds. He still had another hour of watch and the stench of his own piss was rancid in his nostrils, his sense of smell ratcheted up by his terror.

So distraught was he, he failed to notice the inky mass of shadow silently drop to the floor in a crouched human form before it darted off into the night on its appointed rounds.

Dawn found a meditating Naruto Uzumaki seated before the smokeless campfire of Team Asuma's temporary abode as the last of his clones dispelled. When his eyes opened to greet the slowly brightening dawn, Naruto had multiple reasons to think tomorrow was going to be a horrible, very bad, no good day.

~III~


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** Sorry for being away soo long. Life has a way of keeping you busy.

Also, a few of you were very disappointed that Hiruzen and Kimimaro didn't duke it out. I get the blood-thirsty preference, however, that would be bad for several reasons.

One, Orochibastard wants to kill the old geezer himself so that means he's off-limits to anyone else. Even if Kimimaro could have killed him (and I don't think he would have been able despite the guy's advanced years), Snake Face would have been deeply pissed after all of his plottin' and schemin'. Bonehead is far too loyal to do something like that.

Two, his job wasn't to wipe out the Sarutobi clan but to cause mayhem and give the old teacher a little pain. He was a distraction and he performed his job splendidly. Why take unnecessary risks?

What was that about looking "underneath the underneath?"

So, without further ado…

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: Nope, still doesn't own Naruto.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 32: Once Upon a Time in Hanikamu**_

* * *

 **~ Office of the Sandaime Hokage, Konohagakure no Sato ~**

"Send him in," Hiruzen answered back through the intercom, his pipe settling back into his toothy grip. Before the voice box clicked silent again, the door swung open to admit the Copy Nin with orange addiction firmly in hand, an action that jogged the memory of the third shinobi perched comfortably on the office couch having displaced the previous occupant – the now grumpy _Neko-chan_.

"That reminds me…" Jiraiya began from his lounging position on the rather comfortable furniture piece. Reaching into his battle kimono, the thick hand of the Sannin author retrieved and frisbeed across the room two freshly-minted copies of his latest release. You would have thought it someone's birthday once three eyes disappeared behind equal crinkly-eyed smiles.

Everyone studiously ignored the rapid drop in temperature near the bookshelves and at the end of Jiraiya's shared perch. At least two of the bookshelf lurkers identified themselves when _Dragon_ and _Lynx_ slowly faded into view.

"Must be a freaky ANBU thing," Jiraiya mumbled trying not to be unnerved by the ghoul-like masks staring in his direction. Instead, he turned his attention to the old man clearing his throat in an effort to move the conversation along and avoid another beating.

"It will be another day or so before the prisoner from the compound raid will be able to survive interrogation. Doctors want to keep him for another day of observation before his guard can bring him back to ANBU central," Hiruzen opened up.

"I still think we should close up those tunnels," Jiraiya opined. "Leaving the snake bastard with open access to the village is just asking for trouble. Who will he attack next? How many innocents will he kidnap for his next batch of lab rats?" While not intending to, his bitter tirade forced a painful wince from the old man that could have ended it all over a decade before if he'd just done the right thing when the first lab had been found. _Lynx_ took the opportunity to respond while the old man lamenting poor past decisions.

"Closing the tunnels now would force the traitor to void his plans and start over. As risky as it is, we need him to keep moving according to plan while we have most of the pieces to it."

Everyone's eyes were locked onto the smaller ANBU standing next to the Great Dragon Commander wondering why _Dragon_ wasn't speaking instead, everyone except the speaker and the old man whose eyes glanced woefully at the still angry woman beneath the decade-old disguise. He couldn't but hope that someday she'd forgive him. That would have to come later since he had a village to protect first and foremost.

Instead, the old man turned to Jiraiya. "What about the spy?" he asked catching the man's unhappy grimace.

"The trap worked even if it took them a while to figure it out. I don't know how many more of Anko's piss poor acting sessions I can take." Hiruzen raised an eyebrow in question forcing the Sannin to respond with, "She doesn't do scatterbrained girlfriend very well."

That comment brought a round of sweatdrops throughout the room.

"I still say it's too great a risk." The thick eyebrows on the kabuki-faced nin bunched together in worry. "I was able to confirm through residual chakra detection which jutsu the snake bastard is after and it's not looking good for the home squad."

"You made the modifications though, yes?" came _Lynx's_ almost immediate response.

"Of course, I did." Jiraiya seemed almost insulted. "I am Konoha's foremost sealing master, aren't I?"

A derisive snort from the masked ANBU Commander was the only response he received but it was enough to give him pause, one of his bushy eyebrows rising as he looked to his former teacher for clarification. None came unfortunately so they moved on to the remaining discussion of planning for the invasion.

* * *

Naruto's platoon of clones, each garbed in the black-maned shinobi henge he developed in Istoria, swarmed the sleeping town of Hanikamu. Over the course of four hours, they cataloged what they could of its inhabitants, not so much faces and names but chakra users and non-chakra users. What they discovered left three equally frowning faces as Naruto shared the night's revelations with his teammates and sensei the following morning.

Five clans were fighting for commercial dominance despite their interdependence on each other, their subservient guilds providing the raw manpower to manage commerce while the clan families scrabbled for prestige and power in the walled mud pit of a village.

Moreru Ueno headed the Farmer's Consortium, their primary crops consisting of assorted fruits, rice, yams, daikon, and adzuki beans. Grizzled and just starting to grey around the edges of his beard, Moreru was a family man from what the clones could see, his last act for the night consisting of telling bedtime stories to his five children as he tucked them in. A simple man with a simple home life made in a modest one-story house, there was nothing flashy or overly ambitious about him. While firm with his workers, he was fair judging by the familial interaction he held with everyone he dealt with.

The second person of note, Jigoku Kinoshita, wasn't really a man of family or prestige. He was a passionate young man elected to represent the three or four fishermen that deferred to his drive more oft than not, his name more of a nickname gifted to him by the older men that shared his early morning routine on the fishing flatboats that prowled the river feeding the local fish market. No one even remembered the young man's real name anymore and he saw very little reason to correct the people he loved with a burning passion. The moniker suited him almost like a badge of honor, so he kept it.

Jinsei no Nagare, or _Life's Flow_ , was the name given to the river that fed the tightly packed cluster of humanity, the name taken from Jinsei Kubo, the construction magnate that lived in the northeastern homestead across the river from Hanikamu. His family was one of the first to carve a home out of the rugged northern forest of Hi no Kuni. His family led the fight against man and beast to build the village up to what it was today and the no-nonsense Jinsei led his clan like he ran his business; the strong survived and the weak stepped to the side to make way for those that could. While no one would ever nominate the man for "Father of the Year," they couldn't deny that he got results. What worried Naruto more than the hard-nosed lifestyle of the family patriarch was the grizzled samurai that served as his head of security and the twenty retainers that reportedly trained with him every dawn. They would be trouble as made evident when the old soldier managed to pop one of Naruto's clones with a small throwing knife. The remainder made sure to give the silver maned warrior a wide berth afterward.

Unfortunately, Jinsei had a rival in one Yari Takagi, also known as Tengu no Yari after he legally changed his name upon successful takeover of his first gold mine in his late teens. The baby-faced financier was the real coin behind Hanikamu and made sure to let everyone within earshot know it every chance that he got if the sake-soaked gossips at Chihiro's tavern, _The Farmer's Rest_ , were any indication. The portly matron's watering hole remained stuffed full of sweaty laborers to the early hours of the morning and that included men from Yari's camp. Yari was anything but liked but that didn't matter as he employed a squad of bruisers to help keep the peace (it was rumored to have been two squads before the on-going feud between the Takagi Clan erupted with the Kubo dynasty).

Also, unfortunately, Naruto's clones saw no sordid secret love between the two warring factions through disillusioned children, just a bitter rivalry made even worse by the Takagi family trying to muscle in on the export business. If there was more to that rumor, the clones couldn't find it in a single night, and this only added to the sense of frustration as no one else in the village seemed to know what the younger Takagi was up to either. This led to the fifth and final person in the power deadlock.

At the top, Governor Irumoa handled the daily politics of the up and coming elites. Outwardly he seemed to be well-liked and straight forward, a man of gentle demeanor and neatly kept appearances. His black hair was beginning to gray at the temples and his tanned face was square of jaw with stately wrinkles just now forming at the corner of his eyes. A sharp nose centered a face anchored by steel-gray eyes and a clean-shaven chin, his hair pulled back into a short ponytail stopping at the base of his neck. Yet something didn't seem right about the stately politician as a clone observed him working late at his desk battling his own stack of ruthless paperwork.

The man seemed too calm, too well-heeled.

He was too perfect, and Naruto's instincts screamed that the man needed to be watched. Good shinobi learned to listen to those instincts if they wanted to continue being living shinobi.

Asuma nodded at the end of Naruto's report as he hefted the medium-sized cask bearing the kanji for _Ishi Saru no Mitsu_ , meaning the _Nectar of the Stone Monkey_. Setting the wicker _amigasa_ on his head, Asuma looked over his fellow actors as they readied themselves for their first trip into the town of Hanikamu and smiled. Having mastered the chakra masking technique, they would be hard to sort out as shinobi. Even Naruto barely registered above a very strong Genin lately, a very happy improvement to their infiltration operations.

Asuma's normally tanned face, with appropriately applied makeup to form sun lines and freckles, completed his disguise with a light dusting of grey to his now chest-length beard and scraggly mop of hair framing his head and neck. His worn, monk-like robes and ratty sandals gave the impression of a well-traveled man with little money. The thick callouses of his hands and thick wrists (all formed from years of rigorous training) gave the impression of a man at the end of a life filled with hard work. All he needed to complete the look was the cask now resting on his back and a hunched posture, his legs and feet bowed outwards to make his stoop all the more pronounced.

Shikamaru and Ino, her hair dyed a luxurious black color that made Naruto drool briefly, dressed the part as his children, _Samādi_ and _Kōgō_. Naruto, his hair dyed an earthy brown, wore a sleeveless peasant's kimono and monk's trousers wrapped in the traditional temple fashion, his feet wrapped in cloth shoes with thin soles also in the temple style to match his _Gyōja_ identity as the laymen helper to the great vintner, _Kurokuru_. Clearly not wealthy enough to afford sturdy leather gloves to protect his hands from hard labor, his fists, wrists, and forearms were wrapped in strong linen to minimize wear and tear (and hide most of his seals). All of his shinobi gear he kept sealed away within easy reach if needed.

Given his dense, muscular build (it was a simple matter to beef up his physique with bulging muscles to provide an almost Quasimodo build), his shoulders stooped as he rolled them forward to round out his back and shorten his normally lean body. And just like that, Ino found herself drooling at the knotted muscles on her boyfriend's exposed arms and shoulders.

They were finally ready to start the hard work.

* * *

They were at it again. _Taifū_ never understood why _Umi_ and _Sandā_ felt the continuous need to out-boast one another but there it was once again on full display. She could never understand it any better than she could understand why all of their respective sects gave them the ridiculous elemental monikers that they did.

Everyone was well aware of their individual elemental affinities. _Halfkin_ only ever developed one anyway no matter how hard they tried to manifest a second. It was nature's law, inviolate. Unbreakable. So why advertise it in a silly nickname?

"I bet he'll be three meters tall, two meters abreast, and spew lightning bolts from his arse!" came the latest claim of impossibility, this time from the equally stubborn Thunder Sect Blademaster. Did they know how silly she thought them to be? Did they even care?

"Pathetic! Your pitiful sparks will disperse before the strength of his Tsunami Strike!" _Umi_ countered, his latest boast equally ignored by the gold-skinned Raiton user.

The smaller female scoffed silently. It felt good to see them jesting and verbally sparring after more than a decade of sulking. It reminded her of a better time when all six of them-.

 _Taifū_ gently shook her head to brush away those thoughts. They were hopeless without a Walker's pardon. The Clutch was broken, just as broken as the Clan now and unlikely to mend if the Wave sect had their way. She almost scoffed aloud with that thought, the hypocrites.

"I've not seen them this animated in years." That was _Ishi_ , the quiet one. He tended to observe more than speak so comments from him were usually worth paying attention to.

 _Taifū_ stopped in the middle of the rocky path leading away from the training grounds, her ears drawn to the deep voice rumbling in the chest of an identically-dressed _halfkin_ paused three steps behind her on the same trek back to the caverns. All _Halfkin_ were the half-breed children of the great wyrms, the product of mating with a human, charged with the defense of kith and kin. Everyone knew the lies told to the summoners by their linked wymrkin but it was a lie built out of necessity; full wyrms and _halfkin_ sold for ridiculous amounts on the human black market.

Kept in the shadows and covered (for the most part) to hide their unusual skin tones, _halfkin_ trained to be the guardians of the clan and, when necessary on the rare occasion, the hunters sent to retrieve stolen eggs or serpents. Seeing as they could live upwards of three hundred human years or more, each could amass great strength and skill in _taijutsu_ , _kenjutsu_ , and elemental manipulation. They could become incredibly dangerous to fight.

The best of them earned the top rank of each sect and a place at the side of the Walker as personal guardians and trainers but the last one was so long ago. It was before _The_ _Breaking_.

Most of the _Kin_ simply chose to forget than face the horrible truth. It was easier that way if not terribly lonely.

For the most part, it was an honorable life if not an extremely dull one, that is until _he_ was discovered and things began to pick up; the great wyrms were, for lack of a better term excited not that it meant anything to the small group of bipeds strolling near the cliffs.

 _Halfkin_ weren't quite human but they weren't quite serpents either. Whether male or female, they were stronger and faster than humans based on their body composition. Muscles were denser beneath a tougher skin even if it wasn't scaled. Females, although fewer in number, tended to be taller and stronger than the average human woman. Males were larger and stood out among any crowd, hence their particular mode of dress.

Regardless of gender, all _halfkin_ wore baggy trousers wrapped from knees to shin in dark strips of cloth, all of it a slate grey color. Their sandals were heavy-duty and strapped up to their calves with built-in metal strips to protect their shins, also died a dull dark grey and stamped with the swirl of the Clan. Their battle kimonos were sleeveless and made of scaled material that formed a hooded cowl to cover their heads and hung just past their knees in four heavy flaps that covered all four sides of their bodies.

 _Halfkin_ generally didn't worry about stealth; they were front line troops.

Beneath the heavy garment, most wore either short-sleeved or no-sleeved shirts that came up into a half mask covering their lower face. Matching wraps covered their forearms and hands with the only obvious armament being the custom-sized zanbato's strapped to their backs, the heavy blades toned down a bit for the slimmer females. The only real differentiation came in the red ink tattoos on their right shoulders identifying their respective sects. _Frost_ came from the wind sect, her pale skin and white hair a dazzling match to the ice blue orbs hovering above her dark mask. Curvy, muscular, and lithe of body, the female _halfkin_ were as svelte and dangerous as the males were walking bruisers, their thick muscles bulging as heavily slabbed arms swung lazily along the morning trek.

She was turning back to look at one of her larger kin now, his own back to her as he glanced out over the rocky cliffs to the churning waters below where a score of larger _Kin_ danced among the waves. They were celebrating his coming. There was hope once again among the clutch.

 _Taifū_ found it depressing that they couldn't rejoice with them but their lot in life was to serve and protect. The _halfkin_ never mingled among the great wyrms unless invited. It was not the way things were done.

 _Taifū's_ rounded chest expanded as she sucked in a deep breath of air to address her distracted brother in blood before she was cut off.

"Oi! What are you doing back here?! I thought we settled this already!" That was _Umi_ and he sounded very annoyed, not an uncommon occurrence during the best of times. This time he sounded truly annoyed which was saying something.

Instead of drawing Ishi's attention from the cliff it was done for her by their usually irate brother of the water sect. Her eyes, along with the other three hooded pairs of eyes turned to _Umi_ , his hunched shoulders leaned forward even as his arms rose at his side, his hands curled upwards into claws.

Kneeling on the far side of the bridge leading back to their caverns was the seiza'd body of another female _halfkin,_ her sword laid out on the ground in front of her knees, her face shrouded by flowing locks the color of blood. Head bowed, she made no move to relocate from the center of the bridge leading home nor defend herself from the large half-blood descending angrily upon her unprotected back.

' _Oh, bloody hell,'_ _Taifū_ thought to herself. This was all they needed as everyone frantically prepared to receive the _Walker_. _'All we need now is for her to see this stupidity and-.'_

"What is the name of all that is unholy is going on here?!"

The five _halfkin_ froze be it mid-stride, thought, or action, their heads turning as one to face the snarling maw of Ellamus-sama in her fully-scaled glory. Unsurprisingly, she was less than pleased.

* * *

Asuma swaggered as he walked, a handheld wine gourd in his right hand as the left firmly gripped the rope strapping the keg to his back. He made sure to kick out his feet wide as he strolled along in the most un-shinobi fashion he could manage, his voice rumbling out a raucous bar tune that Ino had to work to keep from blushing in response to. They all had to affect an attitude of indifference but a maiden such as her found shameless tunes about some tavern wench's "assets" tough to ignore when those body parts were compared to building fixtures.

Naruto unconsciously slouched just a hair more as he slapped out a steady rhythm on his thigh, his own straw hat resting comfortably on his head while he lugged a medium-sized chest strapped to his back. He was the apprentice and, as a result, was left to do the heavy lifting, so lift he would while remembering to slow his movements enough to make himself seem marginally encumbered.

In reality, he barely felt the weight of the reinforced box on his back as his heavily lidded eyes pretended to slide off of anything substantive even as his mind logged everything he saw.

Of them all, Shikamaru had the easiest time portraying lazy indifference. It was his natural state after all. The hardest part of it all was carrying the walking stick with the spare wine gourd tied to it in bright red silks. If it came to a fight, he was to toss the bamboo staff to Asuma and move to where he could stand out of the way, both he and Ino switching to observation mode while Asuma and Naruto dealt with any nuisances.

"Halt!"

Asuma staggered to a semi-drunken stop as one of the gate guards sauntered out to question them, his eyes lingering on the curves of the dark-haired female standing behind the older man. Ino tried to suppress the shiver that ran down her spine as the man all but undressed her with his eyes. From where he was supposed to stand at the back of the formation, Naruto could do nothing but clench his jaw and keep his eyes lowered but he wanted nothing more than to pound the man to a bloody paste.

Some quick talking (and great acting) by Asuma got them past the guards with minimal incident despite both guards loitering their gazes on Ino's shapely hips and backside.

Naruto gritted his teeth and did everything he could to suppress his rising _KI_ and outrage despite knowing she could dismantle any of the leering fools without his help. He could not help the feelings eating away at his gut like acid, so he pressed on.

It took them all of ten minutes to find two rooms at _The Farmer's Rest_ , Asuma gathering his team stating that they'd take their evening meal in the pub as it would be the best place to sift through the town's gossip. It was the only drinking hole and the dim interior played well into Naruto's enhanced senses. Beyond that, their first stop would be the Farmer's Market; Asuma reasoned that others might be more amenable to speaking with them if they presented themselves as legitimate business folk than just nosy window shoppers. They'd visit the paper vendor's shop in the late night and keep their snooping activities under cover of darkness, but, for now, they trudged back out into the city in search of information.

It didn't take long to find the market centrally located as it was. Since the day was still early, the stifling humidity hadn't quite turned the walled city into a sauna yet, something Ino was secretly thankful for. Asuma led most of the talking while the three kept their eyes open communicating by nodding or shifting their eyes in a direction that caught their interests; Asuma had forbidden hand signs given their cover and the probability that either Takagi's thugs or Nagare's ronin might recognize the gestures whether they could decipher them or not.

They were to take no chances.

It took two hours of shameless socializing and brown-nosing before the group started to make any progress, the female vendors being more sympathetic to the single father traveling with young children, especially the lovely young Kōgō. Several even whispered that he should wrap up his business quickly and flee if he wanted to keep the young maiden's chastity safe from the trash of Hanikamu, a very chilling warning that narrowed the jovial actor's demeanor as he bowed a grateful thank you.

Having purchased several batches of produce "to use in his latest brews," Asuma paused when Naruto's fingers tapped out a quick five-beat before taking the batch of Asian pears to stow in his wicker storage box. Asuma's rich voice rose as he thanked the kind mother for her recommendations and promised to take his children away as soon as he could find a parchment vendor to help him make new labels. He was still bowing as the suddenly ashen-faced fruit vendor backed away frantically waving off his gratitude while trying to hide in the very back of her stall, her legs lowering her body to the ground as she tried to make herself as small as possible.

"You fine gentleman wouldn't happen to know where I could find a _washi_ seller, do you?" Asuma's wicker hat turned slightly to look past his right shoulder at the five men Naruto earlier indicated were lurking nearby, his back turned to them since his body still faced the stall.

"Oi! Old man! You should be more worried about whether or not we leave you with all of your teeth after we take those packages and your whore of a daughter back to our hangout."

The youth speaking couldn't have been more than seventeen, a tall gangly thing with faded clothing stretched and worn with age and use. The gray tank top was more dark grey blotches than anything else, his short pants frayed and cut off just below the knees. Like his friends, he clutched a weapon of some sort, in his case a solid wooden stick he was using to waggle threateningly while pointing to the basket on Naruto's back as his friends clutched similar weapons or cleavers.

Asuma felt they were being watched but these would-be thugs radiated threadbare intent, more of a risk of spreading filth and infection than actual harm to the squad of lethal shinobi. Luckily for them, Team Asuma needed to preserve their cover so none of them would die since he could count another half dozen or so sets of eyes intensely watching the standoff happen in the middle of the street. Ignoring the pair of city guards idly leaning against the front posts of a dye house (proving they would make no move to interfere), Asuma threw back his head and laughed. He laughed long and loud much to the growing unease of the five youths looking back and forth at each other wondering if the old man was insane.

They were outnumbered. The street toughs had weapons and only one of them seemed to have anything resembling an item of self-defense. They blanched in even greater confusion once the thick-muscled hunchback doffed his wicker basket and stretched his torso with a sickening crunch, his walking stick going the same way of the basket ending up in the still chuckling man's hand, the basket now laying on the ground at his feet.

"Do not kill them, Gyōja-kun. We still need to buy more brewing supplies and cannot afford to bail you out of jail like last time."

This comment made several of the boy's holding weapons flinch and several of the onlookers raise questioning eyebrows. Even the woman hiding behind her cart counter rose high enough to sneak a peek at the brewing confrontation.

Naruto, for his part, merely nodded in exaggerated bowing motions as he made a jerky half bow before the dark-haired beauty who, in turn, handed him a pottery gourd from her own shoulder satchel. With an even deeper bow, he accepted the full gift and took a few hunched-over steps, his shoulders rocking side to side in an almost monkey-like fashion, into the middle of the now-vacant open space of the market.

In one swift move, he ripped the cork from the bottle and chugged its contents in one breath.

Everyone watching, including the five street bullies, was watching with their mouths wide open, the threat of impending violence temporarily forgotten. With an enormous belch, an exaggerated wiping of his mouth on his forearm, and a gently swaying upper body that left him leaning backwards, the muscular hunchback corked the bottle and tossed it to the dark-haired male of their small group, his right leg lifting to counterbalance his over-leaning body before he pivoted precariously in a complete circle. Many of the onlookers cooed and oohed as if the sound of their voices could keep the red-faced boy from falling all the way over, his glazed eyes settling onto the five boys waving weapons in his direction as if noticing them for the first time. Once he could focus on them, his face broke into a wide smile which seemed to force a small hiccup from somewhere deep in his abdomen.

The five boys laughed and, with their newfound courage at their staggeringly drunken opponent, boldly stepped forward to deliver him the beating of his life.

~III~

Team Asuma, between Asuma's experience, Shikamaru's brilliance, and Naruto's prankster genius, had worked out a fairly detailed cover story for all of them using Ino as the sanity check to critique their work. Asuma had to admit he liked this squad, their quick minds reminding him of why he found infiltration so exhilarating during his time with the _Twelve Guardians_.

Asuma gave them the general genus of his Kurokuru character, the drunken vintner, and they ran with the rest. Using the few manuscripts he'd gathered from his travels mixed in with his own family's close ties to Enma, the Monkey King summons, Shikamaru and Naruto almost seemed to enjoy building an entire life for the four characters.

Part of it included how they would deal with threats in the open knowing that all bets were off if it came down to a full-shinobi battle with nukenins. The dye jobs and method acting were easier to hide than maintaining _henges_ , the exception being Naruto's physical shape change which was harder to dispel. That was their first line of defense: anonymity.

No insignia.

No distinguishing features.

Knowing that they couldn't hide Ino's sexy body unless she used a _henge_ , Asuma and Naruto would form the first lines of defense with the cover that the entire family would have varying levels of fighting skills. Asuma, having trained with monks, could mimic the temple fighting style easily enough to pass for a former monk. Ino's style lent itself to a temple martial art if you looked at it long enough meaning that Shikamaru would be hard-pressed to deliver a credible performance given his lack of physical motivation. Naruto, being the natural fighter that he was, had watched enough movies that he managed to cobble together a believable style the night before with Asuma and a few hundred clones, his high level of physicality letting him pull off a credible monk's apprentice deadly enough to handle most street punks, bandits, and yakuza thugs.

Even better was his crowning skillset of drunken boxing, something he'd always wanted to learn since the very first movie the Hokage ever took him to see beginning his life-long love of the genre.

Spinning lopsidedly into a wavering stance, both hands held out before his chest in the stylized "drunken cups" while his body leaned backward as if defying gravity. He tried not to smirk as he witnessed several citizens leaning right along with him. Then one of the toughs charged, his hand reared back to strike with a roughed-up stick.

As the boy swung his arm in a sweeping arc with the intent of taking off his head, Naruto raised his left hand as if taking a drink, his body finally tipping backward enough to overbalance his body and (most likely) land him flat on his back. The boy's stick sailed over the space where his head once was not seeing the tip of Naruto's foot (clearly not a trained fighter as his eyes were nearly closed) as his right leg shot out, his toes shooting upwards to catch the unnamed boy under his chin. Naruto's body paused in the horizontal position as the thug's feet left the ground, both males ultimately landing flat on the dusty earth at nearly the same time. Only one of them swung his legs in a wide circle to help spiral up to his feet before continuing his spin to corkscrew back down to the dusty ground in a cross-legged crouch with one hand in the "drinking cups" pose and the other arm bent out wide as if holding a jug of wine. Several people gasped as the seemingly drunken boy's head lolled about, his eyes squinting as if trying to focus on the now unconscious boy lying spread eagle on the ground.

As two more of the would-be robbers dashed forward wielding almost identical cleavers, they had no way of knowing that Naruto was slowing down his movements because he'd increased his resistance seals, seals cleverly hidden by his clothes and arm wraps. They also had no way of knowing that it helped weigh his blows making them seem harder like bricks or metal hammers. He was still a trained close-quarters combat shinobi, so the threat represented by these untrained boys was not enough to normally give him a good warm-up.

Naruto, or rather Gyōja-kun, dodged the first wild swing from the youth on his left by reverse spinning back to his feet and slapping the stocky boy's hand across his body with his left palm, the boy's wide arc slicing open his partner's shirt barely missing flesh. The downward swing of the taller gang member, most likely a brother of the leader looking on with worried eyes, he avoided by drunkenly spinning to his right, his feet pivoting to place him behind the now off-balance attacker, a state he made worse when Gyōja thrust out his rear end knocking the boy further off-balance to slide across the dirt.

The stocky one, once shocked at nearly hacking his partner to pieces, charged with an enraged scowl and his own overhand swing. It never connected as Naruto leaned forward on one foot with both arms out wide and his right leg shooting out directly behind his body, the heel catching his attacker square in the chest driving the air from his lungs and the ground out from under his feet.

The stocky one snatched up his cleaver and jumped back to his feet with an angry grimace as he roared out his next charge. Naruto spun around to push his back into the chest of the charging teenager stopping him cold, the boy's arm resting limply on the Genin's right shoulder. Having stopped the reckless attack, Naruto then proceeded to drive first his left elbow into the gut of the fighter at his back followed by spinning in place while driving the wrist of his right "cup holding hand" into the boy's chest sending his third attacker staggering backwards before finishing with another wrist to the boy's chin knocking him unconscious before the ground rushed up to meet his body, the thug sliding to a stop underneath a trinket vendor's cart.

"Gyōja's" extended strike led to his body slowly tipping forward enough so that he fell to the dusty earth once again. It was clear that the longer the fight went on the greater the alcohol was beginning to take effect; the boy's movements were becoming increasingly loose as he staggered and staggered about worse than before, something Asuma pretended not to notice as his whiskered face twisted up briefly with concern.

Everyone watching with their mouths wide open turned from the unmoving boy back to the drunk brawler now lying flat on the ground, his chin propped up by his palms while he smiled sloppily in a drunken haze. Some whispered openly in disbelief as he'd just fallen after striking that last blow never taking a single hit himself during the scuffle. He'd just flopped onto the dirt too tired to care.

Before the last two boys could charge, he rolled onto his right side, swung his left leg up and over his body followed by his right, then used the spinning momentum to spin his whole body around and onto his shoulders while simultaneously twisting and kicking upwards from the dirt until his back left the dust and his feet slapped down at almost the same time. Unlike the movies where the drunken hero would stagger about waving his arms around muttering strange stance names and rolling through stumbling katas, Naruto had seen hundreds of angry drunks staggering from _The Blossom_ , most standing bleary-eyed and incoherent. He understood the role Asuma wanted him to portray and just stood there with his arms hanging limply at his sides, the fists still curled into drunken claws as his (now) black pupils stared off into space.

Many, many pairs of stunned villager eyes blinked stupidly at the drunken acrobat and then back down to the three still unmoving toughs. Then the whispering began.

Naruto drunkenly whipped his head around to glare at the last two boys standing over by the far end of the market. They both flinched before turning to flee into the back streets and away from the crazed drunkard with the heavy hands, running from certain pain and the jeering laughs of the market stalls.

Beneath his wicker helmet, Asuma smiled as he observed no less than five figures slinking away to inform their respective masters.

Ino understood her part in what was to come next and tried not to smile. It was hard to do. Naruto was always, in her opinion, an incredible prankster despite how much she hated his antics at the academy. That meant he was a brilliant actor at his best as displayed by the surly drunkard he was portraying, and her heart melted as she stepped into the healing angel role needed for the sham to work properly.

"Samādi" was trying, and failing spectacularly, to corral the belligerent drunk so that they could regroup at the vendor's stall "Kurokuru" was lingering by, their sensei just staring at the "act" with his ever-present smirk. Naruto was laying it on thick, alternating from leaning too heavily on his adopted brother figure making it impossible to do anything but help the drunkard stand, to swatting away the boy's "helpful hands" and manipulating Shika's reaches and grabs enough to make him miss or stumble. Mixing in a bit of drunken slurring, pointing at shiny objects, snarling drunkenly as he shadowboxed the air (while Shika ducked and covered), began to produce chuckles as it became obvious the drunken brawler still recognized the familiar face of his darker-haired master's son yet was still spoiling to fight off the "bad people wanting to hurt his 'precious Kōgō.'

That became Ino's cue.

Stepping forward as Naruto dodged a choreographed lunge by Shika only to trip him and land on top of him in a side-resting lounge, Ino stepped forward slowly to the gasping surprise of several onlookers, mostly women. Several wanted (and started) to warn her away whispering for her to wait for the boy to sober a little or pass out so as to not hurt the delicate flower of a girl. Instead, she deliberately stepped to within three paces of the beefier boy resting atop her still struggling sibling and called out softly.

"Gyōja-kun," she called out barely above a whisper. The effect was instantaneous as the drunken boy rolled from Shika's back and up to his drunken feet, his arms twirling about as his head spun around trying to find the source of that soft voice calling his name.

Ino repeated it.

The enigmatic Gyōja spun completely around before his knotted eyebrows found "Kōgō's" gently smiling face and all of the tension seemed to leave his body. He straightened and the frown immediately left his lips to be replaced by a brilliant smile with the power of the sun. Ino did not have to fake the blush that flushed up from her kimono to cover her cheeks.

He just had that effect on her when he smiled at her like that, like she was the source of all joy in his life.

Gyōga wobbly staggered forward until the girl's hands cupped his cheeks, her eyes closing as she blew out a heavy breath to clear the fumes from her face. Gyōga gurgled like a toddler as he leaned into the girl's embrace, his arms swinging limply between them since he had to lean down enough to keep her from reaching above her shoulders.

"Stop playing in the dirt, Samādi. Father wants to find the _washi_ vendor before nightfall," she chastised. The boy, still laying sprawled out in the dust, merely grunted in infantile rage as he staggered up to his feet and stormed along after the now docile tank of an apprentice to their "father" grousing the entire way about having to wrestle troublesome baby gorillas.

Even as the now freely-chattering women running the vendor carts began pressing extra samples into the now smiling (and furiously bowing) hands of the sake peddler, each switching seamlessly between homemade hangover remedies and better ways to protect that precious daughter of his, Kurokuru's eye noted the final onlooker slinking away into the shadows.

His smile took on a dangerous glint none of the women noticed, their hands waving about as they focused on the haggard man and his three charges in full hen mother mode, as he noted one gawker taking to the rooftops in the direction of the northwestern section of town.

~III~

Ten wobbly minutes later, Asuma and his sober team members were standing around one of the lumpy beds in their cramped room, all three with their arms folded across their chests in bewilderment. Three pairs of eyes were staring in utter confusion at the drunkenly waving arms of the blond Genin singing raunchy taverns songs off-key, his body splayed out bonelessly on the mattress he normally shared with the other blonde.

"I don't get it." Ino's voice sounded as confused as her face indicated. One eyebrow was slightly higher than the other as her lips pursed and contorted.

"Shouldn't he be, I dunno, less drunk by now?" She turned to their sensei who was standing there with his head leaned to one side, shoulders raised in an uncertain shrug.

"I know less than you do about this. He's never been this drunk, at least not during any of our previous infiltration missions where we used alcohol." Come to think of it, he'd never seen the bijū vessel drunk before assuming the boy's passenger treated alcohol like it treated poison. Asuma was definitely in uncharted territory as the jinchuuriki began the next round of a particularly bawdy tune involving a sailor and his mermaid.

All three of them watched as Naruto tried to clap in time to his own song, his hands missing each other more often than not. Three verses into it, his arms fell limply to the bed and his head lolled to one side. Ten seconds later and the snores began chasing the drool leaking from his open mouth.

Asuma was floored. They'd pulled a similar stunt with "the rowdy drunk" at least once and the boy shook off alcohol as if it were weak tea. On more than one post-mission celebration, Naruto drank him under the table much to Kure-chan's great displeasure once he woke up the next morning on the couch. He couldn't figure out why his "tenant" wasn't purging his system of residual sake.

Naruto had mumbled before this mission began that he was on the outs with the fox. Sad as it was, the Jounin hoped they could work out whatever problems were going on soon. Team Asuma needed their heavy hitter back and quickly and they were all silently hoping he wouldn't die from alcohol poisoning.

There was a LOT of sake in that gourd.

Shrugging it off, he turned to finish removing his disguise. Because of this _discovery_ , they were in for the night now and Shika would be able to bring food up to the room for the group. Whatever the case, he didn't envy the headache the boy would have when he awoke.

Speaking of said drunken boy…

"Ugh!" His groan of agony sent out ripples from the water flowing around his body and into the draining pool of his mindspace. His head was pounding, and his mouth felt like someone lined it with bad rugs. Both hands rose up out of the water to cradle his throbbing forehead but to no avail. The pulsing pain of his own heartbeat continued to rattle the inside of his skull.

Was this a hangover? He'd heard about them but never experienced one before. Could a mental projection of yourself even get a hangover? He'd been in his mental fortress before after particularly brutal beatings appearing none the worse for wear, but this was horrific.

With a heaving grunt, he rolled over with one hand propping his upper body above the murky water sloshing past him. Even the normally docile blue and purple lighting of his mindscape were painful to his sensitive eyes forcing them closed. He cursed his enhanced vision and promptly wrinkled his brow at the harsh level of his own voice.

Quieter. Definitely.

A subdued snort from across the chamber only added to the discomfort but forced him to raise his head in time to see the dour muzzle of his tenant rising to sulk outside the den once again. Knowing more pain was headed his way, he staggered to his feet and tried to stall her departure.

"Wait!" Another wince. "You promised…" he swayed dangerously, one hand raised out to her retreating tails and the other clamped to his brow, "promised… that we could talk," a painful grimace, "…t-talk if it was important."

Silence. The enormous nine-tailed fox paused but did not turn around. When it appeared that he was waiting for a response, she resumed her sudden urge to go for a walk outside. The sun was still gleaming down, and he knew he wouldn't be able to catch her in his condition if she got away.

"You were right!" he blurted out, his eyes clamping shut at the volume of his own voice echoing off the dark cavern walls. This time she stopped dead in her tracks, the fox's muzzle just beyond the entrance.

Oh my, he felt dizzy. And nauseous. Could an avatar puke from alcohol poisoning?

"You," *BURP* "were right."

The fox slowly turned around and walked casually back into the den sitting just as calmly on her haunches with an expectant look on her face. A sudden wave of sickness bent him over until his palms slapped to his knees.

"I'm sorry, but is there something you can do," he wobbled but didn't fall, "about this so that talking (another rancid burp followed) is a bit easier?" A ridge over the fox's left eye rose but nothing changed. No tails moved, no youki flowed, and he felt as disgusting as ever.

"No, of course not." Taking several deep breaths, he fought to a kneeling position before the bars of the massive den and struggled to sit upright.

" **You were saying?"**

He flinched slightly at the sound of the fox's booming voice. _'Did she… did she just smile?!'_ Naruto grimaced but pushed on anyway.

"I was saying that you were right." The air was cooler closer to the floor and there was a small breeze. It made talking less painful. "I am afraid of something."

The enormous fox did not move, nor did she twitch a muscle.

"Not to sound too emo but I'm afraid," he took a deep breath, "afraid of losing my best friend."

This time the fox scoffed. Loudly.

"Just hear me out." One hand came up in a placating fashion.

"You've been with me since the beginning, since the first timeline. When Konoha was at its worst and even though you hated me more than any other fleshbag, you stood by me." It was getting easier with something to focus on.

"You might not have liked it, but you helped me." He was beginning to sweat less which was a good thing. "You healed me when they poisoned me. You healed me when they attacked me. You pushed me when I started to give up. You challenged me when I got complacent. You were… _are_ … my best friend, my _first_ _real_ friend."

The fox's passive muzzle seemed a hair less adversarial.

"The first time I won your friendship, I felt indestructible. There wasn't anything we couldn't do together." He actually chuckled. Images of fighting on the moon and in the Fourth War flickered across his very warm brain.

His entire head pulsed painfully forcing out another wince.

"Then we did the first slide and I had to win you back all over again except it was harder to do because I kept rushing things making it worse." A funny memory struck him, and he chuckled only to wince again at the pain in his head. "I almost botched it instead, but you gave me another chance." This time he did laugh just a bit.

"Without you, I wouldn't even have half of the facts I need to pull this off in the next slide." His eyes finally worked their way up from the cavern floor to lock with the fox's fiery orbs. "I guess that's when I started to actually get nervous."

The fox's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Next slide is the last slide and I always keep my promises. I promised that I would let you go if I found a way to do it without sending you to the Shinigami and now I have it." This time the eyes of the great Kyuubi shot open as he held up his left hand and a Royal blue journal appeared in it.

" **Mito's journal! How long have you had that?!"** The force of her voice made him flinch as if it were a physical blow, his body curling over as his eyes clamped shut."

"Shhhhhhh!" he tried to placate the angry bijuu but failed.

" **Do. NOT. SHUSH. ME. MAGGOT!"** Naruto held the journal to his forehead as if it could block the angry sound of her voice and prevent him any more pain. It didn't work.

It took Naruto longer to recover, especially since the Great Youko needed several minutes to stop yelling at him. He didn't even recognize some of the new ones in the next barrage of curses.

"I got this from the _Umihebi_ once I signed the summoning contract on my last visit," he answered sounding exhausted, his eyes barely open. "Mito didn't trust the treasures of the clan to survive on the island with the survivors scattered to the winds. So, she hid it all with the clan summons." He opened his hand as the book disintegrated into motes of light. None of it was real inside his mindspace anyway.

"At any rate, there is a way," he paused to correct himself, "there _will_ be a way to free you during the next slide." He needed to take slow, steadying breaths to ease the increased pounding in his head. "We need to make sure the jumpers deliver the correct messages first and that they're strong enough to deal with high A to low S-ranked threats."

The fox had resumed her stoic pose after having jumped up to yell at him for not sharing the discovery with him. It didn't matter that she voluntarily and routinely severed their connection to avoid the stench of _"rotten fish and whiny lizards"_ as she called it. He was her jinchuuriki and should have known better to keep such a thing from her. Their entire strategy hinged on discovering who the Uzumaki spy was and he knew how much she wanted to find the traitor and avenge the clan. The great bijū wanted that almost as much as she wanted…

That's when it sunk in.

" **You're afraid I'll leave right away."** Kurama's voice was unusually subdued but his sad smile confirmed her guess. The surprised look melted almost immediately into anger again. **"It does not change the fact that you should not have kept this from me!"**

Naruto nodded once, his head now bowed in guilt.

" **We pledged to help each other avenge ourselves against those that wronged us! You with your clan and me with the one-eyed bastard!"** He nodded again but said nothing. **"Did that mean nothing to you?"** No answer. **"Did you think I would leave you before keeping my word?!"** Again, nothing. **"Answer me."** It was an angry hiss this time.

" **At least LOOK AT ME!"**

He winced again but forced his eyes up from the floor.

" **What was the meaning of all this?"**

Naruto appeared sheepish, an image the great bijū discovered she disliked immensely. "I wanted to keep you around as long as I could." The fox's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I knew you'd be free on the next slide and I _always_ keep my promises, but I wanted to keep my best friend around a little longer this time since it would be the last time." He took a deep breath. "I was being selfish."

" **You also promised not to get emo on me."**

Outside she was her normally bitter and sarcastic self. Inside Kurama was stunned. The only person that ever wanted her around was the Sage. Even Matatabi, the only sibling she had any semblance of a familial relationship with, tolerated her in sparse bursts. Movement from her vessel's avatar broke the bijū's wandering thoughts.

Rising from the water sluggishly, he bowed at the waist.

"I'm sorry that I betrayed your trust in me and I promise all the games and delays will end. I just have two loose ends to wrap up in this timeline and, as soon as my blood clones are strong enough, we'll make the last slide." He straightened up with a wobble as the spark left his eyes, then turned to stagger away, his body starting to fade from view.

She let him go without another word as their situation got turned over and over again in her mind. If he kept his word and released her as he promised, there really wasn't much to be angry for. Oh, the misdirection was infuriating but his admission was touching no matter how much she would deny it. It came down to the fact that he would miss her, something no other human would ever sanely admit to.

He had to be suffering from brain damage somewhere. The alcohol poisoning probably wasn't helping much either.

Shrugging away his subterfuge (as what was a few years to an eternal force of nature?) she resolved to at least withhold judgment until he outright refused to keep his word. She might give him another chance to prove his worth. In the meantime, there was one thing she could do since he made the effort to apologize for being woefully human.

A great rush of red-tinged water flowed from the sluice gates of her raised platform and into his system and the great bijū chastised herself for becoming soft-hearted as she stared momentarily at the spot where his back finally faded away into nothingness.

In the real world, it was a very groggy Naruto that slowly sat up from the bed, his body reeking of alcohol as it oozed from his pores. Shikamaru's head looked up from the scarred table of rotted wood in their room, his chopsticks halfway to his mouth and his eyebrows perched high atop his forehead. Across from him, a platinum blonde matched his curiosity as the groaning team bruiser struggled to sit upright.

He'd only been out for an hour.

"Hungry?" the softer voice of the two called out.

Despite the raging monkeys finally packing up their drums and leaving their temporary jam session in the front half of his brain, food did not sound appealing at that exact moment. Eyes clamped shut, one hand waving in their general direction as he exhaled with fluttering lips, Naruto tried not to taste the fur carpet lining his entire mouth.

Someone grabbed his hand and placed a cool glass in it, his overly sensitive hearing catching the gentle sloshing of liquid as he held it to his forehead.

"Welcome to the land of the mortal, Naruto."

He promptly ignored his male teammate but resolved that the next batch of props would be watered down. It would be very watered down.

"Asuma-sensei?" he croaked out, both eyes still clamped shut as his rebelling stomach fought against the greasy smelling food just three paces away. An enhanced sense of smell could really be a kick in the nuts sometimes.

"Called away… should be back soon," came the intermittent response between mouthfuls. "Since you're not dead anymore, you need to eat something before we head out tonight. No telling how long it's going to take."

Naruto sparingly grunted an incoherent acknowledgment before sliding the glass along the side of his face and towards his mouth. It was the best liquid he'd ever tasted next to miso broth. Who knew water could taste like heaven?

But that would have to wait. For now, Kurama was willing to work with him again and that was a step in the right direction as he felt the bijū's chakra burning away the fog in his head and the acid churning in his gut.

Now he just had to not screw it up on her again.

* * *

"Tea Mister…?" The man's voice was as impeccable as his style of dress and immaculately-streaked haircut, his oiled locks pulled taut in the samurai fashion. If at all possible, the small patches of grey around his clean-shaven face made him seem more dignified. Asuma wasn't fooled, however, his sharp eyes taking in the thick wrists and calloused hands, most likely from hours and hours and hours of _kenjutsu_ practice.

' _Wait, that wasn't right… samurai called it something else.'_

"Just Kuro if you please." Asuma bobbed his upper body in the stooped fashion familiar with his vintner persona. " _Hai_ , Kubo-sama. Thank you for the tea." Asuma applied nervous energy to his hands and worked the edges of his straw hat a bit more as he slowly widened his focus around the posh room the two men were talking in.

"I was hoping to meet your apprentice."

Asuma hid the narrowing of his eyes behind a toothy grin that made them disappear altogether. News apparently traveled fast in the small village, but he wasn't too surprised; one of the five slinking away from their street brawl very easily could have been one of Kubo's toadies.

"Ah, sorry but he needs to recover a bit." Asuma tried to seem properly ashamed. "I've told him before to not drink soo much but the young today…" He left it open-ended as if to imply it was a lost cause, the two men sharing a knowing chuckle before the disguised Jounin went back to mentally cataloging the room's contents.

The sitting room was filled with rich cherry wood. Furniture, floors, walls, arched ceilings all reeked of oils. The rich carpets and tapestries provided color contrast to the darker hues but did little to lighten the severe mood of the room. Motioning towards the monogrammed _chabudai_ , both men folded their legs beneath their bodies as they settled onto matching cushions embroidered with the Kubo Clan crest. Asuma politely ignored the servants scurrying around them with trays as he adjusted a leg on the soft _zabuton_ and instead focused on his host.

' _A place for everything and everything in its place_ ,' the Jounin silently commented.

Clothes clean and immaculately pressed. Nothing out of the place, the earthy beige and browns of his _haori_ and kimono spoke of his clan's affinity to the earth for their sustenance. The dark green hakama with beige pinstripes tied it all together nicely.

Asuma's eyes flickered briefly to the broody samurai kneeling being and to the left of his master, the man's eyes never leaving the smiling vendor as he sipped his tea.

' _That one will be a problem.'_ The Jounin knew a seasoned campaigner when he saw one.

"Tell me, Kuro-san," the Lord began. Asuma glanced up from his cup expectantly trying to make his eyes as expressive as possible. He always had a problem with that back with the Guardians. "Have you found what you need to establish long-term trade with Hanikamu?"

Asuma tried to widen his toothy smile, even more, to make him seem less threatening. "Almost. We seem to be having trouble finding the owner of the washi store."

The stately clan leader smiled but Asuma found no warmth in it. "Have you tried the Takagi estate yet in your search?"

It was almost an innocent question but the sinister tone just beneath the surface forced one of Asuma's eyebrows northwards all the same.

* * *

People were scurrying to clear a path deep in Iwagakure no Sato as a young woman stormed her way through the busy streets of the Stone Citadel. Pink eyes aflame with her latest passion, most knew by now to avoid the girl in one of her "moods."

Large though the city was, it only took her little over ten minutes to cover the distance she needed to storm into the Tsuchikage's manor, her legs never stopping their determined stride as she pushed past the two nameless guards standing sentry at the front door. She never bothered to learn their names as she most likely wouldn't see that particular pair again for at least a month. Besides, they were beneath her station anyway.

Through the door, she nearly ripped off her sandals with a huff and hung an immediate right into the kitchen. Within minutes the sounds of cupboards banging closed, glasses being roughly set down on the counter before being filled with water echoed through the lower section of the house.

"Kurotsuchi? Is that you, my little _kabutomushi*_?" It was the voice of an older male, her maternal grandfather, Gekido.

Mid gulp she paused long enough to take the glass from her lips and huff in the general direction of the small garden at the rear of the large house.

"Come share your day with me." With another huff and a brief shake of the head, she plodded through the house and out into the rear courtyard. Another quick gulp from the glass and her eyes took in the hunched form of the one member of her family that didn't belittle or talk down to her although he did frown slightly when he looked up to see the childish pout on her face.

"Come now, it can't have been that horrible today," the white-haired hermit joked. She liked his voice - unlike the Tsuchikage his wasn't rough and gravely but a smooth baritone that used to rock her to sleep when she was little. Tan of skin like most of Iwa's citizens, his flowing mane, mustache and beard of white hair stood out against his burgundy robes framing his face like a halo. Unlike the Tsuchikage, this old man kept a full head of hair that felt like silk when he'd let her braid a few strands of it for his dates with Madame Sekitei.

Unlike the Tsuchikage, she trusted him unreservedly.

"Tell me my little Mushi-chan," the girl scowled petulantly at the nickname, "did the old fence-sitter give you the mission like we thought he would?" The old man's hands never stopped working the earth as he added new plants to the closest garden section to the house. She hoped he was finally planting tomatoes like he promised last summer.

She nodded but said nothing aloud.

"Come now, Mushi-chan, I can't hear your thoughts rolling around in your head. Old men tend to lose their hearing as the years go by." Finishing with his current plant, he reached over to grab another.

"Yes, Ji-san. We leave in three days to head south to _that_ place," she nearly spat out. It was clear she wasn't looking forward to the trip and her venom caused the old man to look up and take in the girls red uniform accented with a brown unranked flak vest, her Iwa forehead protector framed nicely by the black mane of hair haloing her face.

"Mushi, Mushi..." he intoned, his head tilting a little to the side. "This is a big honor for our family." He needed her to give her all for this so they could finally be free. Their allies deserved better than they got after Gekido fled to Iwa.

"I know, Ji-san. I know." His questioning gaze forced her to drop the pout and reply earnestly. "I will give my all for this!" To emphasize the point, the girl drew a kunai and slashed her palm before making a fist and pouring her blood into the garden's soil.

"I will make sure this false Uzumaki dies during the Chunin Exams!" Her pink eyes hardened showing no trace of the moody young girl. She had been replaced by the tested Iwa kunoichi now standing in her place.

"Good, Mushi-chan. Now! I think you should get that wound tended to so that you are one-hundred percent before it's time to go."

She turned to leave before spinning around one last time.

"Ji-san. If, and this is a big IF, but if he is a real Uzumaki, will I be able to use Lampades?" The old man actually paused in his busy gardening as his hands settled on his seiza'd thighs, his head pointed upwards as he considered her request. Kurotsuchi's breath caught in her throat as she waited impatiently for his response which seemed to take forever to come.

"IF this pretender is an actual member of the Uzumaki Clan, then you will need her help to overcome his summons." Her face began to break out into a very happy smile. "I will see if she is willing to join you, however, I would not get your hopes up if I were you." The old man turned to her with a weathered smile on his face. "She likes her peace and quiet."

Kurotsuchi didn't care. She darted across the courtyard and fiercely hugged her grandfather for several minutes almost dousing him with what was left in her glass. Stoked at the chance to redeem her Ji-san, she darted back into the house to begin her final preparations.

She would do whatever it took to kill the last Uzumaki heir and bring peace to her beloved grandfather. Gekido Terumī would know happiness in his final days or she would die trying.

* * *

Three shadows wrapped in midnight streaked across the evening skyline of Hanikamu, one of them still cursing the foggy nature of his gently throbbing skull. Naruto was sure that Kurama was dragging out the whole "cleansing the poison from your system" routine just to make him suffer.

Black tabi padding soundlessly across clay roof tiles, the three Leaf nin wove their way through the tight-knit multi-tiered homes of the tiny market ward of the over-sized trading post.

Asuma apparently liked Naruto's "Dark Nin" persona so much he commissioned stealth outfits to resemble it and the three figures were currently blending in with the night's chimney stacks or canted rooftops _henged_ to match the masked figure from Istoria.

Pausing about a half block from the paper vendor's shop, the three hunkered down to take in the night's sounds even though their eyes zeroed in on their storefront destination. Inside the small shop nestled between a butcher and candle shop, Naruto's sharp eyes caught the scrawny balding man shuffling about behind the counter, slender hands moving aside books, scrolls, boxed supplies, and stacks of fresh rice paper still made through traditional methods; he was searching for something.

Naruto's clones learned who Giichi Takagi was during their first day of reconnaissance. What they didn't know was why the older uncle of the money miser was babysitting their contact's store day in and day out. Thin to the point of being unhealthy, the pinched face and hooked nose blended nicely with his greasy hair combed back into a matted mullet tight along his egg-shaped cranium. The man was a walking scarecrow, an image further enhanced by the recessed pair of beady eyes hidden beneath his pronounced cranial ridge of a brow and the bulky grey and blue pinstriped robe that seemed to swamp his unhealthy frame.

Naruto wanted to tie the man to a chair and force him to eat ten bowls of Ichiraku. That would sort him out.

Instead, they watched him putter around the store with a lemony scowl on his face before turning off all of the lights and locking up the storefront. Naruto didn't even both trying to decipher the man's unhappy muttering as he stormed off towards the Takagi estate to the northwest. He was too busy trying to figure out why the man had seemingly taken over Tamaguchi-san's store to care.

Ignoring the typical sounds and smells of families settling in for their evening meals and conversations, the three Genin hunkered down behind the building ledge until the coast was clear. They'd slip in one of the upper windows on the second floor and scout the main shop once folks settled down for the night.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Kubo-sama. I don't understand why I would ask Takagi-sama about Tamaguchi-san?" Asuma was hoping things weren't as obvious as the Kubo Patriarch was making it out to be.

The sinister smirk on the older man's face indicated that it would be exactly as obvious as Kubo thought it was.

"My men make up the vast majority of the law enforcement arm in this village, but I can only do so much if the Mayor is unwilling to enforce the law on his _partner_." The wrinkled disgust on his face left no doubt as to Jinei's beliefs concerning his political and monetary rivals but this was nothing Asuma hadn't already gathered on his own.

It didn't take much listening at night in the pub of _The Rest_ to get a handle on the local politics running Hanikamu. The town's folk were like most small communities everywhere he'd been in Hi no Kuni; they kept to themselves a lot and trusted few beyond their intimate circle of friends, that is until you got a few drinks in them. Then the information began to flow like warm sake. Most of Naruto's information gathering on the night of the great clone horde had come from a small group staking out the local watering hole.

It was the easiest INFO OP the team had done in months.

It seemed very few thought well of the Mayor and those that did were tied to him financially in some way. No, Irumoa had very few supporters in the lower income bracket of Hanikamu.

On the other hand, Takagi was in it up to his neck with the less-than-holy leader. The Takagi Family was just better at keeping the dirt from sticking to their greedy hands to hear the local drunks tell it. More interesting was the several really bitter regulars were telling of some large hairy beast working for the "Takagi Bastard" to undercut their farms. In fact, it was all a particularly bitter threesome would talk about once they were four or five beers into their wallowing.

Somehow the greedy bastard was ruining their farms, according to the trio of drunkards, so that he could buy them cheap and start his own side project growing things vice digging them up from the earth.

It would seem that Team Asuma would need to pay an in-depth visit to the Takagi estate in the waning hours of the night. With a quick bow and a muttered "thank you" for the hospitality, he saw his way out with a quick promise to return for contract negotiations once he was ready to discuss breaking ground on a new brewery.

* * *

Naruto slid to the side of the dusty window to allow his team to follow after him once the coast was clear. With the gentle sound of the wooden window frame rasping along the sill, the three set about to catalog the apparent destruction throughout every upstairs room before sliding downstairs to the main store.

The second floor of the paper shop was one large apartment suite and, from the looks of it, had been ransacked on more than one occasion. Judging from the sliced open pillows and cushions releasing their feathers over a forest of shattered furniture, nothing survived whoever's wrath had descended upon the place. For the Infiltration and Espionage team led by Asuma, it was an all-too-familiar scene when looking for missing people. More often than not, it indicated that the person being searched for ended up one of two ways; they were either on the run or already dead.

The squad tried not to write off the unlikely spy without proof, but the evidence didn't give much to be hopeful for.

[Nothing.] It was one of the basic signs learned in the academy now repeated twice more by the silent figures ghosting through the residence. No family pictures. No personal items in frames or in places of honor, not that they'd still be there after whoever trashed the place finished up their demolition job. The man lived a Spartan lifestyle.

The few books present, not that any escaped having pages ripped from their bindings, were personal in nature. Never mind that the man only had a dozen or so, at least ten of those were related to the papermaking industry touching on everything from historical resources for making paper to different processes used to create the final product.

Naruto considered it all terribly boring then chastised himself as he remembered the man's dual lifestyle. Their spy was very good at his job.

Twenty minutes later found them all downstairs glossing over the relatively intact shop. It wouldn't do for the Takagi Clan to draw too much attention, so they'd want to keep the very public front of the store untouched. Despite their duplicity, there were telltale signs that _someone_ had been searching the shop after trashing the living quarters.

Three pairs of gloved hands immediately began searching.

Fresh scratches were everywhere along shelves and storage bins. There were large wicker bowls set up near the rear of the shop holding hemp, flax, linseed, and other types of supplies used to create rolls of paper from scratch. Judging from the dwindling rolls of paper in different colors resting on large spools, Takagi wouldn't be able to sell much longer without having to make more and Shikamaru doubted that the Takagi Clan could duplicate Hisa-san's skill at his chosen profession.

A quick glance into the enclosed back yard showed unused soaking tubs, grinding systems, and polishing wheels along one wall with several large vats covered with wooden lids along the other one. Rubbing a finger along the bottom of his nose to help clear the heavy aroma of vinegar and lye, Naruto ventured they were dying vats for the different colors they saw in high-quality stacks and rolls of paper.

Naruto began searching behind the counter while Shikamaru squatted down in a corner to assume his thinking pose, his eyes raking over every other corner of the small store.

The cover was too thorough, too detailed. Shikamaru was beginning to think the papermaker hadn't started out as a spy and said as much. This, of course, painted a very dishonorable picture of the glorious Toad Sage as the three figured the meek paper maker might have been pushed into the spy business by the bullying Sannin and now the poor fellow might be paying the price for such a decision.

Too bad any further musing was cut off by the sound of the front door opening, the chime of its bell drawing attention to the four figures stepping inside to block the front entrance. Three unhappy minds latched onto the same thought.

' _Troublesome.'_

~III~

* * *

A/N: No promises about the update pace since life has a way of making a liar out of people. Contrary to popular conspiracy theories, I'm still alive and still writing. This story still has a few more chapters to go before the end comes.

Until next time!

*Kabutomushi is a stone beetle.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** A quick apology for the delay in posting after so long. Life has been keeping me busy and this chapter was a bear to clean up. Also, the fact that my third project (after cleaning up and reposting Nature of the Beast) has already begun distracting me. I shall attempt to resist the urge...

Fair warning, this chapter has a lot of perspective changes; there is a lot of activity to warrant it. I've tried something new in clearly breaking out the POV shift rather than letting my readers figure it out on the fly. Let me know what you think.

In any event, this is the wrap-up of the Hanikamu mission and we shift fully into the Chunin Exam Arc (finally) with the Kusa escort. This should tie in a lot of the threads that seem to frustrate people so much, muahahahahahaha- *cough* - Ack!... ahem.

So, without further delay, enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 33: Good Riddance to Bad... Fashion?**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _Naruto began searching behind the counter while Shikamaru squatted down in a corner to assume his thinking pose, his eyes raking over every other corner of the small store._

 _The cover was too thorough, too detailed. Shikamaru was beginning to think the papermaker hadn't started out as a spy and said as much. This, of course, painted a very dishonorable picture of the glorious Toad Sage as the three figured the meek paper maker might have been pushed into the spy business by the bullying Sannin and now the poor fellow might be paying the price for such a decision._

 _Too bad any further musing was cut off by the sound of the front door opening, the chime of its bell drawing attention to the four figures stepping inside to block the front entrance. Three unhappy minds latched onto the same thought._

'Troublesome.'

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure No Sato, Hokage Tower ~**

~III~

There was a different sort of excitement running through Team Seven as they strode purposely through the Trade District of Konoha. Anyone could see it and many of the citizens took note as the Mighty Uchiha led his team in a beeline for the Tower of their leader. Backs were straighter. Their shoulders held back, even with the pink-haired maiden hoping to bear the future of their mighty Uchiha into glory. Many took note and greeted the future of Konoha.

Kakashi wasn't happy about it. Oh, he saw the civilians waving politely and bowing to the pompous teen strolling along without a care in the world and it only proved to further crease his brow. The fact that Sakura continued to dote on the arrogant ass only seemed all the more confusing; hadn't she toned down her infatuation? He could have sworn her face crinkled up in concern at some of his earlier behavior but that had apparently passed like a mild breeze.

It was disappointing, to say the least. He'd hoped for so much more out of her.

She'd made some progress in skill with both _Iryo_ and _Genjutsu_ if nothing else. She still refused to exercise under the foolish belief that either Sasuke or the kindhearted Choji would save her from her own folly. Despite the appearance of his eyes on the small shelter of orange in his hand, his exposed eye furrowed in disapproval.

Many a kunoichi had been broken and sold into slavery following those beliefs and he needed to rectify that somehow. He knew Sasuke didn't care for what he deemed "a useless fangirl" so that would leave the gentle giant from the Akimichi. Choji was strong, but he couldn't fight off everyone for her and she needed to carry her own weight.

He filed those plans away, however, at the first real notice of the tower looming ahead. Team Seven's chance to redeem themselves was at hand.

A brief nod to the sentries outside, a quick jaunt up the stairs to the receptionist desk sitting outside the heavy double doors of his domicile and there was no turning back now.

"Ah, Kakashi-san! Is it time already?"

He lowered his book far enough to eye-smile at the swooning woman behind the desk. It was old news but he played along; he refused to let another one get close to him, something usually made easier by the small orange shield he kept in his hand. _'Oh, well.'_

"Hai!" Her name escaped him at the moment. "Please let Hokage-sama know that we are prepared."

She flushed pink briefly but stabbed the intercom with a finger, her eyes never leaving his lean figure. A moment later and the entire team was standing before the old man's desk, his (in)famous student nearly vibrating with excitement.

Their last, slash that, first C-rank had ended the worst possible way. The mission escalated, a comrade had been captured, and that led to the death of the client followed by their near-death in trying to escape a cunning trap. To add further insult to injury, the "Mighty Uchiha" as the Council referred to him, some in mockery, had failed in his attempt to both join ANBU (At the political conniving of the Civilian Council) and clean up his mission mess citing his teammates would only hold him back.

How the Council pulled that kind of leverage to get the boy an invitation still boggled the elite Jounin. it was unheard of; the ANBU chose their own. It was sacrosanct and none (that he knew of) approved of the spoiled heir so that meant he had inside support from someone. There were plenty of clan members in the elite force and it only took a recommendation supported by two other members to get an invitation. That meant the ANBU had a disease festering amongst their ranks.

That would have to be another problem for another time. He forcefully turned his attention back to the smiling Hokage motioning for Iruka to begin the mission brief.

"Greetings Team Seven," he began as two figures phased into view followed by a third literally sprouting from the wooden floor like a human plant. _Tora_ , the tiger-faced ANBU elite, merely nodded to the silver-haired Jounin teacher, who promptly put away his porn much to the surprise of everyone save the Hokage.

"Are you ready for this?" the teacher questioned.

An arrogant grunt was the only response as the rest of the team learned early on not to take Sasuke's spotlight.

"Words, Sasuke, are important when addressing a superior," the cyclops admonished. "Iruka is still a Chunin and your senior so show the proper respect at all times."

That comment earned a thankful nod from the scarred mission briefer.

*Sigh* "Team Seven is ready to proceed," the Genin barked out. Kakashi refrained from smacking the back of his head as a result but did take note of the Hokage's disapproving frown.

"Yes, in any event, your mission is to report to the Kusa-Konoha border. At the checkpoint indicated on the map, you will rendezvous with two Kusa Genin teams and their Jounin instructors. From then on, you will escort them back to Konoha for the upcoming Chunin Exams bringing honor to Konoha." Iruka seemed to smile at the disgruntled face on the Uchiha before continuing.

"This at least is the public face of your mission," he teased even as he motioned towards the Tiger masked ANBU standing next to their sensei.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched upwards.

"Your mission is a cover. Your team will be assisted by Team _Tora_ , whose mission is to eliminate one of the Kusa Genin squads. Your job will be to obstruct the efforts of the second Genin squad in preventing the real mission, which will be executed by Team Asuma." The academy instructor began to pass out photos of a red-haired female with squared black frames on her face.

"Team _Asuma_ will be extracting this female from the second Genin Squad and bringing her to Konoha. Team _Tora_ will be impersonating an Iwa Assault and Capture team bent on taking the same target. In the confusion, you will delay what remains of the target's Genin team, should they attempt to save the girl, and assist Team _Tora_ in dealing with the remaining Kusa shinobi."

By this point, Sasuke's eerie grin had returned.

"Kakashi, you will be the outward leader of the mission. In reality, you will defer to _Tora_ , the ANBU Captain." Kakashi and the Tiger ANBU nodded to each other. It would be like old times.

Sakura tentatively raised her right hand.

"Yes? You have a question Sakura?" Iruka tried not to grimace at her default back to academy protocols.

"Iruka-sensei, shouldn't Naruto and his team be here for this brief?"

The question made sense actually but several were more shocked by the lack of her usual "Baka" suffix.

"Maa, Sakura-chan, Team _Asuma_ is currently on an important retrieval mission and will meet us a day out from the checkpoint to confirm the plan." That seemed to mollify both Sakura and Choji who'd opted to listen during the briefing. Since their last C-Rank, the pleasantly plump boy had gotten serious about his training turning most of his extra padding into thick muscle, along with picking up a healthy dose of Doton jutsu to augment his fighting style. Instead of an endless supply of chip bags, he'd swapped to slightly less horrible protein bars, his hands subconsciously unwrapping one to snack on as he processed the mission package.

It didn't hurt that the boy had become deadly with his elemental affinity, his lessons fueled by his family out of sight of the untrustworthy Uchiha, the same Uchiha now grinding his teeth in frustration over the former dead last getting further and further ahead of him.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Hanikamu Trading Post (later that night) ~**

~III~

The night air was fairly typical for summertime in the Land of Fire as Asuma's walking stick tapped rhythmically along his puttering path. Walking as the stooped vintner was a necessary pain until he reached the haven of their hotel room, so he helped to pass the time with a jaunty tune on his lips.

The night air was cool as the last of the day's heat faded away. The crowded shanties and homes were lit up light _Toro Nagashi*_ , the flickering lights behind shuttered windows reminding him of the festival back in the capital. Pleasant, almost soothing though it was, it did little to ease his concern over the growing pool of crap Team Ten was finding themselves mired in.

Worse yet, the more his team dug into what was going on in this shady little shantytown, the less Asuma liked what they dug up. Kubo was fairly easy to read; he was a control freak from a politically-powerful family and he disliked not being in control. The problem was that he could not control Takagi and that made for a variable the patron could not allow. It did not make him any less culpable in the crapfest brewing to a simmer underneath Konoha's nose.

Though his living arrangements were a bit posh and militarized in architecture, Kubo's business record read as being fair if not a bit cut-throat. Everyone knew exactly where they stood with the stonefaced businessman but he neither gloated nor bandied about boorish behavior. Quite simply it was all beneath him so why would he stoop to kidnapping?

No. Everything in his clan home spoke of Hi no Kuni pride. The plates they ate on, small embossments in the wallpaper of several rooms, small models of the Daimyo's "Will of Fire," his home literally oozed patriotism through its highly-polished rafters. Either he was a very convincing actor (and spy) or Asuma was wasting his time. Still, he needed to rule out one of the powerhouses causing this mess and tonight's effort went a long way. That just left…

His thoughts were interrupted by the tall shinobi landing a half-dozen paces in front of him, his eyes narrowing even as his free hand came up to rest atop the one holding his walking stick. Asuma wasn't the tallest of people but he held his own at little over one hundred and seventy centimeters, tall for a Sarutobi. This nin easily outspanned him by a hand or more with his lanky frame. He didn't appear to pack a lot of muscle so Asuma defaulted to the speedster setting for the guy's skillset. Taking a moment to stretch out his back with an audible groan, he scanned his latest companion for the evening noting the earth-brown slacks covering dark red sandals. There was a holster visible on the man's left thigh, but beyond that, the rolled-up sleeves of his dark-colored button-up didn't reveal much more than a pair of fingerless gloves; no headband, a thin cloth vest, and no other distinctive gear cluttered his whipcord frame.

While this didn't mean much to a shinobi, it screamed _speedster_ to Asuma who wasn't necessarily known for his dazzling speed.

"Takagi-sama wishes to speak with you."

'Kurokuru' grinned and tipped his straw hat to the newcomer. "Please give my regards to Takagi-san. It's been a long day and I need to get back to my youngsters before it gets much later." He tried to be as casual about it as he could, but the guy was kind of blocking the street a bit.

"Oh, don't worry about that," the scarecrow began. "They should be waiting there for us by the time we get there."

Asuma's smile vanished immediately.

"It would be a shame if something… _unfortunate_ … happened before we could get there, now wouldn't it?"

Not knowing whether or not the guy was bluffing, Asuma nodded his head once then shuffled off to following along behind the man he suddenly wanted to gut like a fish.

~III~

* * *

 _Meanwhile, In the Paper Maker's Shop..._

"What? No heads up this time, _super-Kage?_ " Shika whispered to his equally disguised teammate.

Naruto shrugged casually. "Sorry, was busy _searching_ ," the perturbed male shot back in a strangled hiss.

 _"Knock it off, guys!"_ Ino hissed back. "Focus on one problem at a time, will ya?"

Naruto and Shika both nodded then spread out a bit to make room for the newcomers. A quick glance over his shoulder showed Naruto a fifth person making themselves known just past the back door leading to the dye vats just as one of the four standing in the storefront delivered the evil ultimatum.

"Not sure who you lot think you are but you're messing around in Iwa business and that's going to end very badly for you."

Despite the bravado, Naruto noticed none of them wore the stone symbol on their forehead, not even with a nukenin's slash to indicate former affiliation. These guys must have been working undercover near here, so he cavalierly decided they needed a quick poke in the eye, so to speak.

"Iwa has no business in the Land of _Fire_ ," the raspy voice of his masked shinobi ground out emphasizing the last word. The evil grin beneath his mask had everything to do with the mousy little shinobi to the far-left shivering as a bolt of fear shot up his spine; Naruto immediately decided that one would become his first victim. The added bonus being that taking him out would open up an avenue of escape for his squad. He was so busy trying to formulate an escape plan he nearly missed the sultry voice commenting in the backdrop of his mind.

' _ **It is not unusual for your kind to stab each other in the back through some petty scheme and then deny their involvement.'**_ Naruto blinked in surprise. _**'Humans are always scrabbling to steal from one another in their avarice. It is your way.'**_

' _Not that I'm not happy for the history lesson, Kyuu-chan, but could we do this a little later?'_

'…'

' _Thanks! You're an angel!'_ He couldn't know that her thought process had been thrown off by the new nickname and that the powerful bijū was processing the interaction with rapidly blinking eyes. She'd decide later whether or not to maim him for it.

"Plan?" Naruto forced out through gritted teeth.

"Nothing comes to mind right away. Open to suggestions?" the pineapple-haired boy candidly responded with as the four near the front door began to spread out with pointy things gleaming in their hands now.

"Bum rush the single guy and high-tail it?" the sole female offered up.

"Sold to the Kunoichi with the startling blue eyes!" chirped out Naruto as four Kage Bunshin darted forward to intercept their late company, punch knives for close quarters firmly in hand, while she spun and flung the door open ripping off the flimsy locks and chains keeping them from the rear courtyard.

~III~

 _In the Back Yard of the Paper Maker's Shop..._

Doi was mumbling to himself about the poor visibility into the paper maker's store. He could see shadows moving about and hear muffled voices but that was about it. He wasn't expecting much excitement anyway. There were only three of them and Iwakuzure had taken the rest of the squad in with him. What could three no-named shinobi do anyway against Iwa nins? Pfft! Him being in the rear of the shop was just a contingency, a boring back up plan meaning he'd miss all of the excitement this time.

He wasn't happy with it but they all kind of rotated around in the plans like this. It was just the luck of the draw and it was his turn to cover the back exit. Keeping one eye on the rear door, Doi began to idly glance around the large ink vats trying not to wrinkle his nose too much at the bitter aromas leaking through the wooden lids until the sound of thin metal snapping and the rear door flying open with a bang snapped his head around, his hands clumsily flying through hand seals as his eyes locked onto the crouching figure in black cloth streaking towards him with odd-looking kunai in his hands.

The figure lunged and Doi's eyes boggled then clamped shut as he hurriedly spit out his jutsu.

[ _Doton Doryūsou!_ ] There was a rumble of earth followed by a muffled _"WHUMP!"_ then a _"POOF!"_ Doi's eyes blinked open as he processed the sounds his ears picked up. People didn't normally go "poof" when he used that jutsu; usually they "squished" or made other disgusting bodily noises. He stepped forward slowly, his right hand trying to wave the white cloud of smoke out of the way as he tried to peer through it.

His feet paused as something shot past him to his left side. It was too fast to see properly, barely a shadow followed by a whisper of air, but he spun nonetheless and dropped to a ready stance with a kunai in both hands, his eyes searching the dull night to locate the fleeing target. That was when the piercing pain hit the back of his neck and everything went completely dark.

Ino yanked the blade from the back of the dead nin's skull with barely a pause in her exit, Shika grimacing beneath his henge at the brutal execution of their one obstacle. Behind them both they could hear the invaders cursing and swearing under their breaths as Naruto's clones stabbed and sliced their way through the bunch, enough so that Shika brought the troupe to a halt once all three were clear of the small shop.

"What are you thinking, Shika?" The Nara turned to the copy he thought was Naruto after watching two of his clones mercilessly butcher one of the Iwa nins now fighting for their lives. True Shadow Clones were notoriously weak when it came to taking abuse, however, they were just as skilled as their originator when it came to taijutsu and Naruto was a _bukijutsu_ savant with freakishly good night vision. In a darkened shop at night and in close quarters, the Iwa nins were getting more than they bargained for.

"I'm thinking we should let one 'survive'."

Ino easily connected the dots. "…and then follow them 'home'."

Naruto nodded wordlessly, created another clone, then dispelled it to relay the new plan.

Back inside the shop, Iwakuzure was cursing up a storm. Gou was the cell leader, but he'd just earned the squad leader position after the last one got waxed by a freak Leaf patrol two months prior. He'd be damned if after two years in this forsaken jungle of soggy moisture that soaked _absolutely everything_ that he'd lose it, and his squad, to a bunch of faceless vagabonds without either clan or village association. He had to admit though, these bastards were tough.

Another scream to his left made him wince when the sound abruptly cut off. He knew that voice and swore bitterly while ducking to avoid another whistling slice from the dark-eyed demon dancing around him with those wicked-looking punch knives. He blocked the stab to his thigh with the kunai in his right-hand jabbing almost immediately after with the blade in his left. His opponent's forearm came up to bat his stroke away and he swore at the strength in the blow knowing that his arms would be bruised messes by morning. Whoever this demon was he was strong; that forearm felt like steel.

Lashing out with a low kick that he rechambered to avoid a slashing stroke, he whipped the same leg high to hopefully catch his opponent in the temple with a roundhouse. He was instead rewarded with a burning slash along the underside of his leg and cursed as he hobbled backwards a few steps, one hand pressing the kunai in its grasp to his stinging leg as he held the other out in front of his body defensively. It was then that another gargled cry to his right snapped his eyes in that direction only to see his last squad member in the building go down in a haze of pinkish mist.

Knowing the fight was lost, the hand pressing against his leg scrambled about to find the door handle before yanking it open so he could back out into the street. He dared to glance behind himself just long enough to make sure the way was clear before whipping his head around to keep his eyes on the evil bastard he now felt was toying with him.

"Bastard! This isn't done!" Iwakuzure spat out, his opponent's head merely tilting to the side in response as he watched his hobbling prey square up and throw both kunai in his direction. He watched in futile rage as the dark figure batted the projectiles out of the air contemptuously but by then the Iwa nin was already through his final seals.

[ _Doton: Dochū Senkō no Jutsu!_ ] Iwakazure melted into the earth with a triumphant sneer. This nin was good but he couldn't beat Gou and that meant his squad would be avenged in short order. He just couldn't help but be confused as to why the masked nin's eyes were crinkled up into a nasty grin, almost like he knew something the Iwa squad leader did not.

The three remaining clones (there was one casualty in the fight) vanished in angry bursts of smoke before Team _Asuma_ found their way onto the front stoop of the small shop, one reaching behind him to casually close the door as if nothing untoward had been going on inside just moments before.

"Can you tell which way he went?" The one speaking turned to glance at his dual carbon copies, both of which nodded in return. "Troublesome."

Without another word, the three leaped off into the night headed towards the northwestern part of town.

~III~

* * *

 _Near the Takagi Estate..._

Several scenarios were rumbling around in Asuma's mind as he followed the still-unnamed nin. Under his humble wine-maker guise, Asuma tried to get him to speak on several occasions during the lazy twenty-minute walk across town and then across the sturdy bridge keeping Takagi's estate separated from the rest of Hanikamu. It was all to no avail as the merc shinobi grinned like a Cheshire cat the entire way but gave nothing away.

"You should be more concerned with what Takagi-sama wants from you, old man."

Asuma had to bite his cheek to keep from chuckling aloud. The guy had balls, he had to give him that, but it wouldn't help the man if his Genin team was injured in any way. Asuma didn't think there was a kami in existence that would save him once the Konoha Jounin ground him into chopped beef.

' _Please let them be alright,'_ became an internal mantra for the stern-faced Leaf nin.

Takagi's estate was walled like some frontier fort from the West, the wooden beams all sharpened to points and standing vertically up from the ground as wooden soldiers packed tightly against one another. He could see stone towers just behind the wall with two men huddled in each behind a searchlight, most likely powered by candles and silver-backed reflectors to increase the light's power. On the ground level just inside the closed gate stood a half dozen men in mismatched outfits, most wearing thin cloth sporting stripes and faded colors. The only decent possessions they carried were the relatively new swords none of them held with any proficiency and the fresh _chochin_ lanterns, one lantern per group of three smelly bodies. Asuma groaned internally as the six uncoordinated members fell in behind him, the lanterns hanging over his shoulders from the short bamboo sticks that held them aloft.

' _By kami, I need a smoke.'_

Instead, he turned his eyes outward beyond his new traveling companions to take in his latest surroundings. Takagi's estate was a horrific combination of traditional Elemental Nation architecture mashed with random pieces from other sections of the world. Alabaster foo dogs in pouncing poses were placed across from rearing horses snorting lightning bolts, armed Oni, and odd figures dressed in rigid plates of overlapping metal covering every inch of their bodies. Intermingled cultures clashed from statue to statue without forethought creating a cluttered eyesore; the open courtyard looked like an artistic wasteland.

A cold shiver shot through Asuma's spine as he tried to ignore their blank staring eyes as he trundled by in character.

The apparent ringleader of his escort didn't even enter through the front of the unnecessarily large five-story home – it looked like Takagi was trying to impress everyone at the same time. Swerving to the left side of the main house, the motley group avoided the dizzying maze of front yard mini-bridges over a koi pond large enough to swim in only to join a group of over-dressed pretenders led by what could only be the clownish personage of one Yari Takagi. In hindsight, it took a great deal of self-control for Asuma to hold a stoic face.

Takagi was a small man with a rather bulbous head and nose, a nose tinted perennially with the hue of evaporating grain alcohol – an expensive import from the far western plains. His heavily greased hair was cut in the _gingko_ -style chonmage, an imitation of the samurai topknot minus the shaved pate and culminating in the hair resting atop his head being splayed out to resemble a fan. Asuma briefly wondered if the man's heavily greased head would burst into an inferno should a flame happen by but was immediately distracted by the rest of the man sporting the petrified hairdo.

Takagi appeared to be very pleased about something as the ornamental fan in his right hand was furiously fluttering in front of his buck-toothed maw, one happily showing as many of the gleaming white teeth housed in his head – there was a brief ping reminiscent of one Guy Maito but it passed thankfully. As gilded as the fan was, it alone could not pull his eyes from the gaily colored kimono hanging off Takagi's emaciated potbelly frame; if memory served the former guardian correctly, Takagi was wearing a heavily layered _jūnihitoe_ -style kimono worn by the women of the court and nobility. Heavily layered in almost a rainbow of colors, _jūnihitoe_ was a garment meant for posh functions and formal events. Normally a garment indicative of refinement, it only made Takagi out to be a stunted peacock of horrific taste.

"Welcome to my humble home, _Kuro_ - _kun_."

Asuma's eyes narrowed at the familiarity from a male barely two-thirds his _real_ age. To make matters worse, the young man's voice was a shrill cackle fit to make a person's ears bleed. His respect for the shinobi mercs tolerating the pompous ass rose a small tick; he would have knifed the man in his sleep just to be rid of his blood-curdling voice. Asuma forced an amiable grin easily sliding back into character.

"Forgive me, Takagi-san," he began with a bobbing acknowledgment, "but I'm not sure why I'm here exactly."

Takagi's even worse peal of laughter made his skin crawl. "Please, drop the act as impressive as it is, Asuma Sarutobi. I'd hate for your ' _children_ ' to arrive and find you broken and bloody."

Asuma's easy-going smile evaporated into the warmish night air like a puff of smoke. Infiltration and intelligence gathering were the bread and butter of daily shinobi life so it might not be beyond the scope of belief that the bumbling Iwa nins trying the last several days to intimidate his Genin squad might be remotely proficient in that art. Konoha had risen to the top of the dogpile in part because of the stellar spy work foundation laid by his father's peer group during the second and third Shinobi wars. Deep cover spies, moles, turncoats, disgruntled and flipped agents were only a few of the underhanded tactics employed on all sides looking to gain the upper hand and Konoha boasted, back in the day, an impressive record fostered by the village's master spy, Jiraiya of the Sannin. While he loathed the thought of giving any amount of credit to the "rockheads," it was not an idea to be overlooked however negligible their chances of success.

Glancing one last time at the sleazy slicked back hairstyle of the lanky nin staring him down with a kunai sloppily gripped in his dominant hand, he found the probability even less than Naruto's chance of suddenly spouting off holy sutras and shaving his head bald. Someone tipped off the little man and that meant Konoha had its own roach infestation needing to be rooted out. That would have to wait until they located the Sannin's missing informant. They had a job to do first.

"There's no way you figured that out on your own," the Leaf Jounin ground out. Straightening out his spine with an audible "SNAP," his eyes locked onto the color-challenged peacock and his attendants.

"Whether they did or didn't won't matter to you in the next few moments as I capture and sell off your Genin to the slave market." The colorfully-dressed man pointedly ignored the withering glare from the bearded nin. "Shinobi sell well regardless of their material condition."

It took a momentous amount of willpower for Asuma not to explode, the veiled threat to the sole kunoichi on his squad not entirely missed by the seasoned veteran. He decided then and there to make the little puke pay for that threat in blood… right after he dealt with his distraction.

The shinobi that brought him here was standing just off to his left side. Takagi stood three quick steps just off to his right. Three boys no more than nine or so were standing around with palm fronds in their tiny hands and their jaws hanging wide open with fright. Other than that, the largely open courtyard was empty save for the random stone benches scattered throughout the horrific landscaping, the fop's earlier attendants and sycophants having fled the moment imminent violence reared its ugly head.

"Run along, children," Takagi crowed. "I need to settle some business with Mr. Sarutobi."

That was all the chiding the smaller attendants needed as they scampered off into the overly large estate. While the smaller ones fled, Asuma slowly untied his wicker headgear with one hand while using the other to forestall Takagi's next irritating quip.

"We are men of action. Word games do not become us."

Takagi's grin widened a bit more even as he urged on his shinobi lackey with a subtle head nod, said lackey stretching out his shoulders in preparation for his upcoming bout.

Setting his wicker hat down alongside the small gourd hanging from his impromptu stave, Asuma hefted the sturdy walking stick giving it an experimental spin. It was never intended as a weapon having been meant as a prop, but the sturdy oak would do in a pinch. His gaze took in the still tooth-filled maw from the paunchy lordling and wondered how much the dwarf actually knew. It didn't take much to conclude the little roach probably knew quite a bit on his abilities and that meant his opponent probably knew more than he should. To quote Shikamaru, this would be _troublesome_.

Asuma resolved not to draw his punch knives unless absolutely forced to, just in case. Just because he preferred them didn't mean he was untrained in the clan's preferred weapon.

Repositioning just enough to open up space between himself and the nearest stone bench, Asuma slid his feet shoulder-width apart and loosened his grip on the staff just a hair, both hands spaced near the other about midway as the end tapped onto the flagstone courtyard with a wooden "thunk."

Takagi took a seat on a nearby bench anxiously awaiting the clash as the two began the traditional pre-fight staring buildup. It was too bad the mounting pressure rapidly deflated at the sound of another Iwa shinobi limping at a frantic pace into the courtyard yelling someone's name like a frightened child.

Two seconds later the tall nin backhanded the fool into silence indicating his name was most likely this Gou-san person. Asuma smiled immediately once his eyes caught sight of the blood trail from the wounded nin's leg; his Genin were clearly alive and still out there… somewhere.

~III~

Three shadows alighted on the branches of a tree just beyond the wall unseen by the three-manned patrols huddled as close to a ball-shaped lantern as possible while they scuttled about. One spoke once the trio of stooges wandered far enough out of hearing range.

"It's probably safe to drop the _henges_ now," Naruto suggested. Well, his wasn't a henge but most nin didn't know that. The Kyuubi's youki affected his illusions making the personal ones solid, a very handy trait to have when you're a hated and starving orphan that wanted to live another day in Konoha.

"You're probably right seeing as they have Asuma cornered."

Ino agreed with the pineappled Nara using a single head nod and the three let their dark images melt away into wisps of chakra smoke.

"Naruto," the no longer orange Genin turned to his male teammate, "we need a path inside if we're going to help sensei."

Naruto's face broke out into a feral smile right before his after image faded away. Ino barely felt the pulse that released his gravity seals and turned her eyes towards the back yard where Asuma had begun his fight with the supposed leader of Takagi's Rock ninjas.

~III~

Asuma knew better than to sit around and give an unknown nin time to plan. Surging chakra to his legs and lower back, the former Guardian dashed forward in a passable _Dynamic Entry_ imitation. _CLACK!_

Takagi's amused smile grew marginally wider as he followed the blurring shinobi; Gou might be a bit in over his head with this one.

"Urck!" Gou grunted out, the force of the walking stick thudding into his cheek pushed him back a meter or more before he could arrest his slide by pushing chakra to the soles of his feet. Wiping away the leftover blood from his mouth, he looked up from the tracks left in the earth to the walking stick still extended in his opponent's hand, the end unwavering despite being exploded into a flowering mass of wooden splinters.

Asuma's eyebrows rose a bit as he watched small flat pieces of earth slide from the Iwa nin's battle kimono to land in a pile of debris at Gou's feet. That armor probably saved the man a few cracked ribs. Unfortunately, his walking stick was finished so he tossed it away and settled into a loose fighting stance with his fists half curled in front of his body.

Gou responded by thrusting his hands into the earth at his feet and rising up with two globs of rocky earth that quickly hardened into the shape of kunai with his angry yell of [ _Doton: Tsuchi no Tanken!_ ].

"My turn!"

Asuma smiled lazily even as he shuffled backward, one of his feet always keeping contact with the ground allowing rapid changes in direction when needed. It resembled a zig-zag crab-walking that kept him half an arm's length away from the rock-swinging nin. Not that it was hard to do to begin with; Gou was apparently slow by Jounin standards, his form colored by anger and frustration as he tried over and over again to gut his apathetic opponent on the end of his jutsu.

Every move seemed almost telegraphed, his form sluggishly unkempt after sparring with Kurenai, Gai, and Kakashi. He expected more from Iwa. It didn't take much to be made aware of the typical Rock nin slurs and insults lobbed in the general direction of Hi no Kuni.

Konoha was no better when it came to village rivalry. _'Quantity over Quality'_ was the popular comment when people referred to the "Rockheads" living to the northwest. Any Leaf nin a year or more into the rank of Chunin automatically subtracted a rank from the title of an Iwa opponent, something Asuma thought thoroughly arrogant and more likely to end up with a rock kunai sticking out of their chest. Despite the tendency to not let personal biases color his opinion of an opponent, Asuma had to admit that this Iwa Jounin was not worth the rank he sported and decided it was time to make his opinion known.

Left foot slid forward, left arm swept low to push Gou's right arm out to the side, a hand gripping the opposing wrist as the right palm shot out and struck the diaphragm. Asuma paused half a heartbeat to enjoy the sound of air rushing from Gou's lungs as his left hand yanked upward twisting the captured arm and pivoting the lanky nin's body into a horizontal barrel roll of Asuma's choosing. The nin flopped onto the hard earth with a heavy grunt and hefty thud, the rock kunai in his right hand crumbling away to small pebbles.

Asuma spun, his right leg snapping up just before his heel reversed direction towards the downed man's skull, his sandaled foot making contact to Gou's face right before it paled into hard alabaster. Asuma's foot smashed through the substituted statue shattering it to pieces.

Asuma ducked and pivoted his hands coming up to his chest after flipping through three seals ending on Tori. [ _Fūton: Toppa!_ ]

Ducking perhaps saved his neck as Gou appeared in an [ _Iwa Shunshin!_ ], his remaining rock blade slashing through the air horizontally where his neck was a moment before. He was just in time for the Breakthrough to punch him directly in the chest and send him limbs-akimbo over several stone benches before smashing violently through another statue.

It would seem being forced to strike a deal with Kakashi for more _Fūton_ jutsu scrolls to teach his student would pay off in the long run. Naruto was going to like that one once they were back in Konoha and could train again.

Asuma rose from his crouch and began stalking purposefully over to finish off the poor bastard when his neck started itching something horrible. Spinning around and crossing his arms in front of his body kept the sandaled foot from smashing through is ribcage instead sending him on a short trip in another random direction. He managed to flip around and get his feet up to prevent a nasty spill before the grassy earth could greet him face-first.

"Tsk! I broke another sandal!"

Asuma looked up with shock clear on his face. He'd felt nothing by way of chakra from the pampered looking snob up until that foot connected with his arms. That blow _hurt_ and he heard nothing by way of fluttering robes.

"Gah! Get up, Gou! It seems I'll have to save your worthless hide again." Asuma watched as the soft-looking fop slipped off his sandals, leaving them on the ground where he stood, and slipped his fan into his pomegranate obi.

"Take Iwa-kun and prepare our shipment for transport." The small man linked his fingers then pushed his palms outward with an audible cracking of his knuckles. "I'll see our guest off."

Asuma did not feel very comforted by the offer of hospitality. Setting his feet in preparation for a new challenge, he paused once something orange clamped onto the back of the smaller man, then another, then another. Two of the orange objects yelled out in pain before vanishing in a violent puff of smoke but the third exploded in a violent burst of electrical energy just as three figures leaped down from the roof to land just behind him and the now spiky-haired Takagi.

"Glad to see you three are okay."

"Troublesome, Asuma-sensei. Can't you gather information without being kidnapped?"

"Now is not the time to critique my acting skills, Shikamaru. I need you to go after those two!" Asuma's hand shot out to indicate the two nins pushing aside a wooden platform near the center of the yard as they slipped beneath the surface. "I have a hunch you'll find our goal down there."

"Think you'll be able to handle this guy then, Sensei?" Ino whispered out. Takagi was already rising from the ground, his hair standing up in all directions like a long-spined pufferfish.

"Worry about the mission. I'll take care of this. Now go!"

In true shinobi fashion, the three of them leaped away making sure to open up some space between them and their sensei's opponent. Takagi reached out to grab one only to leap back as the taller Jounin shoulder blocked him from their path. Both grunted with the impact.

For Takagi, his body hadn't regained normal function after that blast. He'd been careless and, even as he fought to shake off the final traces of electricity rendering his motor skills useless, he was vowing silently to strip the source of those clones slowly and painfully. Gritting his teeth and shaking the last bits of numbing pain from his fingers, Takagi turned to face his final obstacle.

Asuma, seeing the complete absence of humor from his "host," drew his punch knives before resetting his stance. Things were about to get serious.

~III~

"Do you have it?!" Ino sounded slightly panicked as her hands swept one side of the platform.

"Troublesome. We need to hurry."

"Not quite… I don't… WAIT! Got it!" Naruto's hand brushed along a small lever with a loud "Click!" A small section of the wooden platform popped up revealing a hatch large enough for one person to step down through. A shaft descended below the surface, a metal ladder attached to the wall ended just before an elevated platform. Without hesitation, the blonde berserker slid down the ladder, both hands and feet rubbing against the rails to slow his descent to a platform half the distance from the shaft opening to the stoney earth below.

Beneath them lay a large underground complex. Directly beneath their entrance sat a series of open cages, most of them filled with people of dubious health and cleanliness. From what Naruto's overly sensitive nose could deduce, the vast majority of them hadn't seen soap or water this side of several months. The foul aromas were enough to nearly choke him before a flash suppressor jutsu could be applied to his nose. Once he could look around without his eyes watering, he made out several holding pens much larger than any he'd ever seen before.

Inside of them sat four badgers as large as rhinos, each accompanied by one grungy human wearing leather collars linked to bracelets by heavy chains.

At one end lay large bins filled with earth, rocks and other raw materials shorn from the earth. Even though they sat on thick rails, the bins were large, far larger than any human could possibly move without some form of external power, like chakra or large animals. A deep snorting grunt solved the puzzle as the three Genin witnessed a fifth badger of enormous size pushing a newly-filled cart with its forehead until it butted up against another resting bin. The bright spark of a stun wand jabbed into the creature's furry haunch produced a pained wail before the creature shuffled off meekly to a holding pen large enough to keep it, another small human clinging desperately to the creature's shoulder blades.

Naruto's teeth began to clench hard enough to make his gums bleed before he was jarred out of his growing rage.

" _Focus_ , troublesome blonde," Shika hissed.

Not a dozen paces away stood the two Iwa nin they'd followed down here giving orders to several non-shinobi men, one of whom was angrily arguing back before a backhand from that Gou character ended the discussion. While they were too far away from his teammates to hear what was going on, Naruto's keen ears caught every word.

"Shika, they're planning to gather up their prisoners and ship them downriver to someplace called Otogakure. Apparently, they have a big buyer there looking for 'volunteers' for medical experiments."

Ino grimaced in distaste. Such practices went against everything ethical medical practitioners avowed.

"We know the wounded nin isn't much of a challenge. What about the big guy?" Shika looked to his blonde teammate for confirmation.

"He seems to be the leader. Not sure how I'll do against him. I think I can at least stall him while you find our target and make a break for it."

"Naruto-." Ino's tirade was cut short when the other blonde grabbed the back of her head and planted his lips firmly against hers. When he finally broke the kiss, her flushed cheeks and wide eyes gave him enough room to get a word in edgewise.

"Have a little faith in me. I'm not looking to beat him, just delay him. I know my limits, dattebayo!"

Neither Shikamaru nor Ino was fooled by his wide grin and bursting image of confidence. That verbal tick only showed up when he was either super excited or super worried.

"Don't die on me or I'll kill you myself!"

Naruto blinked stupidly for a few seconds trying to figure out how she could make that work before shrugging it off and slinking away to create a ruckus. Once he was swallowed up by the shadows, Ino turned to Shikamaru with a scowl on her face.

"Hurry up, nerd. If he dies, I'm coming for you once I'm done with his ghost!"

"Troublesome!" Shika slunk off as they climbed over the rails to the cages below.

~III~

Another heavy-fisted punch cratered the ground where he once stood. Asuma took in the wide-ranging destruction in the back yard admittedly surprised at the strength in his diminutive opponent. The man was using _Doton_ chakra to strengthen his body, but he hadn't cast a single jutsu of any kind. He was stronger and faster than any mere noble, his control admirably good despite his obvious limitations but the fight made no sense.

"Stop trying to figure it out. I stopped trying a long time ago." Takagi shot out another fist in a straight punch. Asuma, having learned in the first three seconds of their fight that blocking was a waste of time resulting in additional bruises, let his blow slide by his head with room to spare.

Takagi was enjoying himself enough he felt like sharing some more.

"You're not the first Leaf nin to come here sniffing around things that didn't concern them. You most assuredly won't be the last." Takagi's leg rose and fell in a serviceable axe kick that created a slightly larger crater.

"My estranged father couldn't figure it out either. Oh, how happy he was when his second son came into this world only to utterly abandon me once they discovered my genetic shortcomings; I suffer from a genetic deformity resulting in stunted coil growth."

Another fist to the face of a defenseless statue and Asuma understood why there were so many mismatched pieces of art in the stone garden.

"While I can never grow reserves large enough to become a truly formidable shinobi, my control over the reserves I have is phenomenal, or so I'm told. It just means that I needed to turn what I did have to the physical pursuits." Takagi seemed almost sleepily calm as he spoke.

"Who knows, if I kill you _perhaps_ I'll earn a reprieve from this dismal post so that I can return to civilization." The smug man chuckled. "If nothing else the bounty on your head will earn me a very comfortable life of leisure."

They charged each other once more, Takagi's billowing sleeves shooting out with a metal bar slipping out from his sleeve. Asuma blocked with one knife then slashed across the man's midsection as Fūton chakra burst out of his second blade. Takagi spun like a top, his body pivoting wildly as the extra length of wind blade slashed across his expensive garment sending his obi to the earth in neatly severed strips.

For several seconds the man stood there fuming as he looked down at his ruined eveningwear, the bloody slash across his abdomen leaking down across the rather subdued hakama revealed beneath his garments.

Asuma found himself shocked at the rather unassuming split trousers of plain black cloth, silk or not.

"You may find me slightly more difficult to kill than your last opponent."

With the first signs of uncontrolled emotion and a blood-curling war cry, Takagi cast aside all images of foppery and rushed forward to clash with a man he suddenly wanted to pummel into bloody chunks.

~III~

"You're messing with our production. Takagi-sama is not going to like that, you know that right?"

Gou was unphased.

"Who do you think wants the cargo prepped for shipment? Get it done, Kotsuchi." Gou chuckled as the squat, angry man stormed off. A round of beer at _The Rest_ and all would be forgiven once the Leafheads were dealt with. Gou turned to scan the rest of the operation only to leap back at the last minute. The rock-hard earth, where he was standing a moment before, cracked in wicked spiderweb fashion as one of those Leaf Genin, the blonde male, impacted.

He ignored the bleating beasts shuffling in their enclosures and focused on the small pain in his neck.

The man's eyes narrowed dangerously as the boy's body burst into dozens upon dozens of copies without smoke or flashed of jutsu-laden light. The boy was skilled but before he could puzzle out his latest opponent, half of the carbon copies fled off into different corners of the underground cavern, a few even streaking down the large tunnels carved out by the enormous badgers slaving away for Takagi's operation.

~III~

* * *

 _[Naruto's Point of View]_

' _ **You can't afford to hold back.'**_

Naruto kept a remarkably calm face despite the absentee bijū making herself known. ' _I know and welcome back.'_

' _ **Shut up, focus, and don't die.'**_

' _I missed you to.'_

That was about all the time he had for idle chatter as the taller man rushed forward and jammed a rock kunai through the boy's chest. Just as a disappointed frown crested the man's face, the Genin vanished into a puff of smoke.

From his vantage point near the back of his remaining swarm of Kage Bunshin, Naruto frowned.

' _He's using chakra to form those kunai. The Iron Kimono won't help us here.'_

' _ **Keep it up anyway; you need the control practice.'**_

' _Sure, sure. Now pipe down and let me focus.'_

A grunting "tsk" deep in his mind was the only response but it felt good to have her back in his corner again.

Six clones rushed forward closing in on the taller Iwa nin from all sides. Naruto's opponent lashed out to his right to impale a doppelganger only to change tactics mid-swipe and duck a flying chunk of rock following the clone's [ _Kawarimi_ ]. Then it became a furball of flying limbs and weapons, the self-proclaimed Iwa Jounin dodging and swaying from hurled stones or boulders as the clones snagged larger and larger pieces of rock to keep him occupied.

Gou grunted in frustration as one clone blocked his rock kunai with a glowing punch knife while another slipped in a kick to the back of his knee. He had to admit that the kid was good… either one on one or _en masse_. So, he decided to even the odds.

[ _Doton: Ganchūsō!_ ] The Iwa nin stomped his foot forcing the chakra through his feet to keep from dropping his kunai jutsu. Spears of stone shot up from the cavern floor puncturing two clones, but they were seamlessly replaced by two more.

~III~

* * *

 _[Guo's Point of View]_

 _He swore under his breath. He wasn't exactly low on chakra but his earlier bout with their Jounin didn't leave him overflowing with power. This lowly Genin was a chakra powerhouse to throw out solid clones and not appear dazed in the slightest, meaning that a war of attrition would not go in his favor. Smiling evilly, he turned the rock spears from his last jutsu into the material needed for his next._

~III~

* * *

 _[Naruto's Point of View]_

Naruto spared a quick glance over his shoulder as his team whispered and spoke to prisoners in each cell. He looked long enough to see Ino fan Shika over with one hand while the other pointed inside the dark confines of the holding pen. Then he was bombarded by the rapid influx of memories from a half dozen clones exploding out of existence.

It didn't take much to pull what happened together from the images he saw. The shinobi channeled more chakra, stomped his foot again releasing his jutsu as the spears shattered into jagged fragments before shooting out in all directions. He even managed to hit a few clones standing over by the large earth bins freeing the large badgers from their hostile handlers.

Signing for his remaining five clones to rush in, he summoned four more clones, drew his punch knives and joined them.

~III~

* * *

 _[Shikamaru's Point of View]_

Shikamaru was annoyed by his female teammate's troublesome behavior. He'd just begun checking the cells on the left side of the holding pen when her excited squawking and hand waving summoned him back over to her for the third time in as many minutes. If it was another wild Genin chase over some poor emaciated waif they couldn't save, he was going to brain her unconscious and search the rest himself.

"This had better be good, Ino. Naruto can't hold that guy off much longer."

He tried not to roll his eyes as she grabbed his collar with one surprisingly strong hand and pointed to the back of the third cell on her side.

"LOOK!" she barked.

He did look if only to hurry the process along… and found himself staring into the face of a middle-aged and slightly better-dressed male at odds with the rest of the ragged prison population beneath Takagi's estate. Not that they had much time to spare but he found himself doing a rapid comparison of what they knew.

' _Plain face_ (even with the soot and dirt trying to hide his features), _brown hair, elongated face, middle-aged…'_

"Tamaguchi-san?" Shikamaru hissed out.

The slightly weathered man looked up from staring at the dirt-covered floor and blinked in surprise but said nothing.

"The toad sings twice in the spring…" Shika began, his voice trailing off without losing that hopeful edge to it. Just as he was about to give up hope and keep looking, he heard…

"…only when the last blossoms bloom." By now the forgettable man was standing and shuffling towards the locked cell door.

"Stop gawking and work your magic on the lock, Ino." Shika's harsh whisper broke her from whatever daze held her motor skills captive, her fingers freeing small tools from the knot of her ponytail and she knelt before the lock.

Shika paused to glance back into the larger chamber where a mosh pit of limbs and battle cries held the enemy at bay. _'Hold on, Naruto. Just give us a few more minutes.'_

~III~

* * *

 _[Naruto's Point of View]_

~III~

The shinobi clashing blades with him was purely defensive and Naruto understood that clear as day. Was he a stronger opponent? Certainly he was, however, he was fighting the Leaf Genin in his element – kunai to kunai, er, punch knife. Bukijutsu was Naruto's specialty one he'd only improved immensely in having Asuma-sensei as a teacher.

The long hours sweating and bleeding under instruction were paying off handily. As his blades sang in harmony with those of his shadow clones, he tried hard not to underestimate the skill of his older opponent. The guy was their leader after all, wasn't he?

As chakra covered blades sliced through the air in that high-pitched _zzziiinnggggg_ that he'd grown to love, Naruto fell more and more into that automatic "zone" as he called it. The rest of the world began to dull just a bit, his eyes locking in on the opponent standing directly in front of him. Some sounds filtered themselves out as others were brought to the front, such as the labored breathing coming from the Iwa shinobi trying to slit his throat. It was almost to the point where he could hear the man's heartbeat growing louder in his ears, the furiously pumping organ rising in tempo as the enemy's breathing grew more and more labored.

Behind him, he could swear he heard the voices of his teammates trying to get his attention, but he couldn't risk stopping now. No, he needed to keep this guy here until they were safely up the ladder, otherwise, he'd just chase after them. No, he needed to slow him down at least since they'd be running with a civilian in tow, a civilian most likely weakened and injured by the same shinobi trying to carve him up.

He ducked as a kunai sailed over the top of his head, his ears picking up the vibrating TING as another was blocked. His hearing picked up the jagged sound of cloth tearing along with the flesh beneath it as the tall shadow hissed again in pain. It wasn't just his ears working overtime either.

He could smell the metallic tang of fresh blood as it coated blades, clothes and flesh alike.

He could smell the man's rancid breath as his lungs pumped like bellows for the forge.

He could feel the air as it brushed along his face with each frantic slash just narrowly avoided.

He felt alive in _the dance_.

Just as suddenly as he was settling into a rhythm, growing more comfortable with the way his opponent fought, he was abruptly thrown out of sync. Something tugged at the attention of his opponent, the taller man's eyes flickering over his shoulder for the briefest of moments. It was enough to earn him a hiss-inducing curse from the clone on Gou's right rear flank. It was the briefest of hiccups in the dance steps, a ripple on the surface of an otherwise smooth pond.

It was still enough to draw Naruto's attention back to the real world and his puffing opponent. Perhaps it was a good thing as he almost missed the sudden change in tempo, a change that would have gotten him killed fighting in a still experimental haze like he had been. His _zone_ wasn't perfected yet and Asuma-sensei had berated him more than once about using unperfected techniques in actual combat.

Such as it was, the abrupt break in tempo was noticed by more than just the original and that was what saved his neck.

~III~

* * *

Whatever spooked him, the taller man took a chance and lunged with his right foot directly behind a leading kunai in his right hand. Blocking another attack on his left from the nearest clone, the sudden move saved him from dual attacks from the rear but cost him a fairly deep wound to the thigh. His foot connected with the stomach of the "body" in front of him folding him in half enough allowing Guo to continue his forward motion using the bent-over figure as a platform supporting his barrel roll.

It also helped that it allowed him to shank what he hoped was the real one in the kidneys with a kunai as he rolled off his back to escape the ring of flashing steel. The stomach he kicked felt real, a solid blow, so he didn't pause to look back and see whether or not the figured crumpled to the ground, his eyes focused on the swatch of blonde hair waiting their turn to climb up the ladder leading to the surface.

Everything froze as he bolted from the ring of children killers pushing his remaining chakra to already exhausted and bleeding legs. Someone behind him yelled in surprise and the blonde curtain of hair swung about revealing a young face, someone that might have grown up to be a beauty if they'd done anything else with their life.

The tall shinobi kept running while drawing back his arm as those by the ladder, both climbing and waiting to climb, froze like deer in a forest.

Then the arm whipped forward sending the deadly weapon sailing across the remaining gap of space separating a hunter from his prey.

~III~

* * *

 _[Naruto's Point of View]_

~III~

There was a sharp pain in his gut as his opponent's foot connected; saw what you want about Iwa nin being low quality, the man's reflexes were still firmly in the Chunin range and that kick knocked the air out of him making the room blur uncomfortably. Doubled over in helpless frustration, he was caught completely by surprise when his world blurred right as the taller figure leaped over his back.

Breathless, temporarily weakened, and now dizzied, he slumped to the group just as he heard the popping sound accompanied by the death of the clone that swapped with him at the last second. Naruto's head came up to see the tall man's arm whip forward sending a kunai tumbling across the cavern.

' _No!'_

It was arcing away from their little mosh pit and right toward Ino's turned back.

"NO!" His shout was enough to get his teammates to turn around but Naruto's eyes snapped back to the evil bastard trying to kill his girlfriend; he was still moving towards them, another kunai gripped firmly in his right hand and his eyes locked firmly on the shocked female he was originally aiming for.

His clones gave chase and were closing, only they weren't fast enough to intercept him.

"CLANG!" Ino's deflection of the weapon was a given but that left her temporarily open for a kunai thrust, which was what the now grinning Iwa scumbag was hoping for. She could see it in his from her perspective.

Shika, three steps up the ladder trying to push their rescued customer up ahead of him was both out of position and unable to use his shadows to help.

Naruto, still on the ground with one hand outstretched towards the back of the fleeing villain would never make it and he couldn't see her to Kawarimi. He could feel the increasingly violent attempts by his clones to swap with the Iwa Jounin, a very difficult thing to do with an alert opponent, especially if that opponent was stronger than you. It was a skill that relied on surprise, skill, and chakra differential; if you had enough power to overpower your target, the swap could happen. As Naruto had been spamming clones to help keep the self-proclaimed Jounin distracted, these were all created with sets amounts of chakra, a skill he'd developed during his first _slide_ and refined even further. That, unfortunately, left them with smaller pools than the still tired Jounin, pools they'd been burning through desperately to keep their speed and resilience up in order to make credible threats demanding of the man's attention so his team could make their escape. That meant his clones didn't have the strength to bully past his defenses and bring him back to buy those precious seconds needed for them to getaway. Two of his remaining clones spontaneously dispelling in trying to force a swap were proof of that.

It was the worst possible situation to be in. He felt hopeless. Helpless. He wanted the man to stop. He wanted to pull him away from them so he couldn't ever hurt them.

It started when his frustration at the situation he was supposed to prevent as the blocker began to develop. It was his job to tank the threat and he had failed. He almost didn't notice the churning burn in his stomach that spread up through his chest and down along his arm straight to his palm.

* * *

 _[Shikamaru's Point of View]_

There was a sick squelching sound right as the Jounin came to a sudden stop in front of Ino. There was a momentary pulse of yellow light, a flash that started over by Naruto, right before he heard the sound of flesh being pierced by a blade. Blinking rapidly to clear the glare, Shikamaru opened his eyes and snapped his head down to where his teammate was standing, her own kunai held diagonally across her body to deflect the stab from the taller Iwa nin, both fighters paused as if the whole thing had been frozen for some celestial judge to make a judgment on a penalty or something equally ridiculous, the Iwa's eyes wide open in shock.

And that's when he saw it.

' _Troublesome sunofa-.'_

* * *

 _[Ino's Point of View]_

Ino was shocked and thanking Naruto's dogged knife fighting training over and over again in her head. She'd only _just_ managed to get her blade back down again from over her own head to cross block the lunge away from her vital organs. She'd have a nasty scar on her left shoulder if she didn't tend to it, but the arm was still serviceable, the slice not too deep.

What caught her eyes was the glowing kunai piercing through the man's diaphragm, the wicked edges of the blade serrated and sharp. It pulsed with Naruto's power, a powerful, steady, golden glow that made her feel warm and safe, a sensation she tried to block out when the man standing before coughed roughly, his blood splattering across her face and chest.

Suddenly metal tines of the same golden energy flipped out of the blade sides right before something tugged on the weapon pulling the guy a couple lurching steps away from the ladder. With him stunned at being impaled, she glanced around his body to see a long chain of the same golden energy extending across the cavern from the end of the glowing kunai to the palm of her favorite Uzumaki.

~III~

* * *

A few moments later, the three Genin emerged from the underground ore processing facility/ prison pausing just long enough to signal mission completion to their sensei. He smiled to acknowledge their success then motioned for them to take off and execute the next phase of the plan.

"Well, Takagi, it appears this is where we part ways." Asuma raised an eyebrow at the sudden burst of cackling laughter from his smaller opponent.

"And just what gives you the impression that I'm going to let you waltz into my home, destroy my property, involve yourself in my affairs, and then just as easily waltz right out again?"

It was a fair question if the taller Jounin was being honest with himself.

"Um… I've been holding back the whole time?"

That made Takagi blink dumbly as his smile began to fade. That shock turned to rage as he realized this fool hadn't been taking him seriously and he resolved to change that. Thrusting his feet out into a wide stance, fist tucked firmly into his hips, Takagi began to build chakra into his skin and muscle tissue.

Asuma knew where this was going as he watched Takagi's skin begin to darken and he wasn't about to engage in a round of fisticuffs with the small tyrant. [ _Body Flickering_ ] to the man's back, he sheathed his back and lower body with a healthy dose of chakra before thrust kicking the straining midget across the stone garden and into a pile of busted statues. He knew it wouldn't cause much damage, but it did open up enough room (and time) for his last jutsu of the night.

With his chest expanding and his hands ending on Tiger, Asuma expelled a billowing cloud of greyish-black smoke, the rolling fog shrouding everything where his opponent lay.

"You think this puny cloud CAN STOP ME?!" Takagi roared as he pulled himself up from the debris of his impact. Asuma could hear him working up to a really good rant filled with lots of expletives and vulgarity but, by then, he'd lost interest.

Clamping down with an audible _CLICK_ on the flint he slipped between his teeth during the [ _Shunshin_ ], Asuma smiled in the satisfaction of a job well done when the ash cloud erupted into a ball of hellfire and damnation. Without looking back, he leaped away into the night to catch up to his team pausing just long enough to grab the rest of his disguise kit holding all of his belongings.

* * *

 _[Takagi's Point of View]_

 _'Despite the protection of my ultimate defense jutsu, that heathen's last attack hurt. Ugh, my ears are ringing. Why am I so dizzy?'_

I stumbled rising yet again from even further destruction to my garden paradise. No matter, I'll just order more art from that sculptor that visits from time to time. Perhaps he'll know someone, one of his bounty hunter friends I can send after that _heathen!_

I bite down on my anger and turn my attention to what's left of my resplendent kimono. Oh yes, he'll pay for that with his life. Unfortunately, I am momentarily distracted from plotting my revenge by the reports coming from my frantic servants.

Apparently, this corner of the mansion has caught afire. I wave that away inconsequentially since it can be replaced but then the truly troubling things begin to come up.

' _Breathe. Remember to breathe Takagi-sama. You are an important man, a leader, and a leader must always set the example,'_ I remind myself before signaling for the bowing figure to continue. Apparently, my slaves are missing and the Honey Badger Clan members I "obtained" to fuel my mineral mining operation have fled through the tunnels, most likely headed home to freedom. They will be prepared to prevent further kidnappings meaning my source of gold, metals, and jewels has run dry.

It appears my time in Hanikamu has come to an end. My older brother will be extremely angered by this. This operation was extremely profitable in both resources and information for the Tsuchikage. I sigh heavily as the servant is clearly not finished with his dire report.

He tells me in a quivering squeak that the invaders also managed to kill most of the shinobi leaving only Iwakuzure, a mid-level mercenary. I grunt in disgust despite the injury he suffered earlier in the night as part of the failed kidnapping attempt. This conspicuous lack of any additional injuries, despite the massive amount of damage to my estate and "business operations" confirms that he most likely hid during the entire conflict.

I think about taking his life just to balance the scales of retribution only to pause when he mumbles something that catches my attention.

"What? Say that again!" I order imperiously, mostly because my ears are still ringing and this fool won't stop mumbling.

"Oh, Takagi-sama, I said that Gou would have been fine if that stupid blonde kid hadn't stabbed him at the last second with that glowing chain jutsu."

I blinked a few times as the information settled into my still adrenaline-fueled brain.

"You are _positive_ of this fact?" Something in my voice makes him gulp before he nods in response.

"Get my scribe and pack my belongings. We are done here."

There were several confusing mutterings, but I quell them all with a glare.

We are returning to Iwagakure in the morning and there is a lot to prepare. Get moving." I turn once again and storm off to get cleaned and changed issuing orders as I go. My estate will be a flurry of activity up until the point of departure. If we are lucky, we'll make off with forty percent of what we've managed to take before trouble arrives on my doorstep from Konoha. There is no time to waste, however, as my duty to my "brother", Onoki, must come first.

He must be told that an Uzumaki still lives, one with the ability to revive that accursed clan. Only the royals could use those damnable chains.

We have much to do before making the mad dash across the border.

* * *

 _[Naruto's Point of View]_

We run as per the plan, the three of us sailing through the trees not making a sound. Four hours out of Hanikamu, our group drops to the forested ground and everything from then on becomes automatic. I try not to notice the odd way my teammates keep glancing at me, especially Shika.

Besides, I can't explain what happened any more than they can. Well, I can but there are things that should be kept hidden even from those I trust. Knowing I'm a royal would increase their level of personal danger and I can't have that. I'm not strong enough yet so I play dumb, something I know Ino won't believe for a second.

Shikamaru starts prepping a cold camp. He signs in academy signals for me to set up a perimeter and I release a dozen copies smokelessly, soundlessly, to begin laying out tripwires and seal traps while carefully leaving one opening for our sensei.

Ino unseals the package from a medical transport scroll and begins treating him for a wide variety of ailments. She's efficient, quick even as she starts at his extremities checking for function, range of motion, and injury before working her way in towards his core. She treats numerous bruises and a few hairline fractures before feeding him a ration pack to help replenish his lost strength from weeks and weeks of deprivation. I can't help but smile as I watch her work.

She's come a long way since the academy in such a short time.

I turn my attention outwards again and wait. Asuma-sensei will be here soon, and we need to be ready to move when he arrives.

~III~

It didn't take long for Asuma to catch up to his Genin. When he lined himself up with the approved direction relative to the center of the camp and walked into the small clearing they'd scouted prior to this mission, the entire team was standing and facing the approaching Jounin, the three of them forming a triangle around the client with Naruto at the front.

' _Well, there go the days of me sneaking up on them,'_ he thought with a grin. Still, Asuma was proud of his team. Very proud. They'd come through brilliantly but now the hard part remains; how will they perform against their peers when the Kusa nins become the enemy? They'd have to play that by ear he supposed.

"Hey Shika, when is the feather quill mightier than the kunai?"

Asuma grinned at the cunning challenge method the blonde male devised during their… third was it?... infiltration mission. The method was pretty ingenious given that the challenge wasn't issued to him but to one of his teammates. A spy not read into the system would wait thinking that they were being rude or trying to egg them on. That pause would mean their death as a response was required within five seconds or the team would default to a violent response.

"That's an easy one," the Jounin began, "it's when the quill is held in the hand of an Uzumaki."

The three Genin visibly relaxed the tension in their bodies without relaxing their guard. We'd learned that mistake before developing the current challenge system.

Asuma stepped forward and affectionately rubbed the head of his blonde attack beast, much to Naruto's frowning dismay. It was tough enough to tame that mess of spikes, but he loved the familiarity no matter how much he complained.

"How is he, Ino?" The growing girl, strike that as he noticed her developing body. He'd have to ask Kurenai to check up on the girl's education concerning seduction and infiltration. She was almost a given for those types of missions once she hit Chunin and, with her supplementary training under Naruto, that was almost a certainty now.

The three Genin noticed their sensei's grimace but assumed it was related to the still grungy and weakened spy.

"He's healthier, now. I fixed some minor bone breaks, cured a nasty internal bleeding/infection situation in his lower intestines most likely caused by blunt force trauma." Everyone listening correctly assumed the man was beaten. "Other than being in desperate need of a bath, a good meal (despite our ration packs, thanks for those Naruto), and two days' worth of sleep, he's healthy as a small horse."

Asuma nodded happily. "Well done, Team Asuma."

That comment brought three brilliant smiles out of his still semi-stressed Genin team. The experienced soldier knew something was off between them, but they'd have to bring it up when they were ready. Sometimes it was best to let them sort through things on their own unless it started to affect the team dynamic.

They appeared to be fine so he wouldn't push, for now.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Tamaguchi-san." The weary man's smile, delivered while still sitting cross-legged on the ground and frantically shoveling rice and vegetables into his stomach – perhaps the only decent meal he's had in weeks, bobbed his head gratefully trying to avoid talking with a mouth full of food.

"Once you're fed, I'm afraid we're going to have to deliver you to Konoha by less than conventional methods." Their "guest" glanced up in confusion.

"We have another mission to complete so I'll have to use a family summons to take you the rest of the way. It will be faster as well since we'll need to reseal you into the medical transport scroll to do so."

Tamaguchi had paused in the rapid annihilation of his meal only to resume with more frantic head nodding and chewing, washing down his latest mouthful of food with a swig from an open canteen. "That's okay. It's actually a pleasant way to travel, the best night's sleep I've had in a while."

Having said his peace, he immediately began cleaning up the rest of the bento ration pack.

Asuma turned to his team and beamed. "I'm proud of all three of you. When things got rough, you didn't fold. I've seen infiltration teams more experienced than you crumble under the pressure."

There was something more behind the tightening of his eyes near the outer edges. There was a painful memory there leading to a story for another time.

"Rest for a bit. Once he's ready to go, we'll make our way to the Kusa-Konoha border checkpoint. We're a day and a half early so we can move at an easier pace."

And like a dam releasing, the tension visually leaked from their shoulders and the group began to drift slightly never more than a few steps away from the noisy chewing and gentle conversation as Asuma spoke more with their guest. Ino naturally gravitated to her love interest but, if Asuma noted anything odd in the way Shikamaru also edged in closer to whisper to their blonde bulldog, he mentioned nothing of it.

They'd just completed a big mission and were bound to draw closer because of it. It was only natural.

~III~

* * *

 _In the Office of the Hokage..._

It was quiet in the spacious office. On the couch near one bank of windows reclined an old man, his favorite gorilla slippers keeping his toesies warm as he puffed happily on his favorite ivory-bowled pipe. In his left hand perched his favorite guilty pleasure as three identical copies of himself huddled around a desk bedecked with neatly organized piles of paperwork. The three were comparing multiple pages while one read through their latest project; they were working on an organized reference binder cataloging all of Konoha's laws, regulations and ordnances since the villages founding.

There was a special binder specifically focused on clan laws.

There had been several discoveries over the last four days of this project, most notably laws his own advisors had been able to sneak through Council. The oddest part was that he could not for the life of him understand how they'd gotten them to pass. Several of them even found support from unlikely sources like Shinobi clan leaders who should have fought tooth and nail against them.

"I'll bet Danzo used that overpowered eye he stole from Shishui to get this one through."

Hiruzen looked up at the comment from one of his clones, his finger marking the page of his current chapter; he really was behind on his literature. The sight of his three doppelgangers made him smile. One Hiruzen bombarded by senseless paperwork was a recipe for being overwhelmed. A trio of sharp-minded Kages working together, however, was a different story altogether. They'd already caught and foiled nine separate attempts by the Council to wheedle more power out of him and reversed no less than thirty laws violating Konoha's founding charter.

Those had been ridiculously easy to reverse in their regular Council meetings, the fines for such underhanded attempts being levied upon the offending guilds or clans. No, he'd never go back to doing paperwork the old way again. If he ever got too old to generate them, he'd force the hat on one of his students and retire to read his passion full time.

He'd just turned back to his little orange book when his sharp ears picked up a familiar puff of smoke atop his desk.

"Ah, a mission scroll from Asuma," one of the clones chirped out.

"Hopefully it is good news?"

"Ah, it's a medical transport scroll!" The clone made a hand gesture and a purple-haired ANBU appeared next to the desk. _Neko_ had some proficiency with the healing arts, a necessity from her time looking after a certain blonde scamp near and dear to every Kage in the office.

Thanking the summons with a fresh banana, the clone handed the scroll to _Neko_ who laid it out on the floor in front of the desk where everyone could see it. With a burst of chakra, a very confused and ragged looking man in his mid-to-late thirties appeared before them squinting into the bright lights of the office.

He yawned before mumbling out, "Hisa Tamaguchi reporting, Hokage… er… sama?" He held up a separate scroll uncertainly to one of the three copies staring at him in mild surprise.

"Summon Jiraiya-kun, _Boar_." With an accompanying rush of air, the office was shed of a ghostly inhabitant.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Katon:** **Haisekishō** **(Fire Release: Ash Pile Burning):** The user spews a stream of chakra-infused gunpowder from their mouth, which surrounds the region. As the gunpowder is composed entirely of ash, it stays in the air around the victim like a cloud, which can be used as a smokescreen. After surrounding the enemy with the ash, the user can ignite it with a flint placed on their teeth beforehand to create a spark, resulting in a violent explosion, burning the enemy. However, this technique requires keen senses to read the air currents, the insight to read the movements of the enemy, the tactical experience to not also enfold one's allies in the flames, and careful attention for the timing of the ignition.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Doryūsou (Earth Release: Earthen Rising Spears):** Doton Doryūsou no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After forming the needed hand seals, spears of stone will raise from the ground to pierce the target. The technique can be countered by an opponent who hardens their body with a stronger Earth Element jutsu.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Dochuu Senkou (Earth Release: Underground Submarine Voyage):** This technique allows its user to silently emerge from an earthen surface, moving as a fish does underwater. As or after they've emerged, users are often well-placed to perform assassinations or guerrilla attacks.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Ganchūsō! (Earth Release: Rock Pillar Spears):** This technique lets the user create a few rock pillars that will protrude from the ground to skew the target. The rock pillars will even pass through obstacles to reach their target.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Tsuchi no Tanken (Earth Release: Daggers of Stone):** A modification of Doton: Doryūsou, this jutsu forms handheld weapons from the earth at the user's feet. Better than average skill is required to maintain the form while throwing the weapons in combat. This jutsu was created by Guo of Iwagakure.

 **[D-Rank] Fūton: Toppa (Wind Release: Breakthrough):** After gathering chakra in their stomach, the user expels it as a gust of wind. This technique is powerful enough to blow away everything within the user's immediate vicinity. This technique can also be used for supplementary purposes, such as creating a vortex of wind to save a falling ally.

* * *

 _[World Lore]_

* * *

 **Toro Nagashi** \- The hauntingly beautiful festival of Toro Nagashi (literally, 'flowing lanterns') is one of the major events in Japan's year. Traditionally celebrated at the end of Obon – a three-day Buddhist festival held in late August – Toro Nagashi sees thousands of lanterns set afloat at dusk to commemorate the souls of the dead. The resulting scene is a spectacular play of light and dark as the lanterns' glow slowly fades into the distance.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** I do read every review, even the bad ones. You may have to be patient to receive a response as life can get busy from time to time.

For those of you who feel the need to throw flames, I make sure to appropriately file those if they lack constructive feedback (of any kind) that could actually help a weekend typewriter warrior to improve. For those of you that think insulting or swearing at me will make me update faster… it just makes me go on long walks and think about the meaning of life. For weeks on end. Must keep the proper perspective when it's needed, neh?

It is time to clean up a particularly loose end.

Without further ado, I own nothing except my particular view on life. And my OCs. If I owned Naruto, he'd be less of a blockhead and would actually learn from his mistakes.

Enjoy the chaos and always remember that revenge often requires the digging of more than one grave.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 34: A Dish Best Served Cold**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _From the rear crown of the First Hokage's monument rose three figures draped in cloaks the color of midnight. As the platform locked into place with a shuddering_ Clank _, the two masked members of Root pushing their chakra through a complex (and shoddily made)_ Doton _seal collapsed to the ground joining four others of their loyal organization, their chakra coils depleted and collapsed beyond recovery._

 _Without so much as a nod to their sacrifice, the three shrouds calmly exited the ponderous elevator after the larger of the three turned one last time to cast a hooded gaze over the sprawling village hidden amongst the trees of Konoha._

 _Danzō Shimura snarled as decades of planning and work crumbled down around his ears all because of one stubborn boy._

 _If he hadn't resisted, if he'd only come along quietly instead of sticking to his foolish humanity, Danzō would have had all the strength needed to ensure Konoha stood alone at the top of the village heap for the next century. Instead, he now fled for his very life, the Sandaime's hounds hot on his heels after the first reports of a struggle reached his agents over their private communications network._

 _He grimaced here. That was an expensive loss that took almost ten years to engineer under the noses of Konoha's proud shinobi force and that was just the smallest loss he suffered that night._

 _When the boy's apartment went up in a gout of draconic flame, he knew the Hokage would be coming for him in due time. Why not? Were he in Hiruzen's place, he'd of done the same without a second thought._

"Never leave an enemy at your back" _was his lifeline to survival. It was just a shame that the old fool finally caught on to that lesson._

 _Turning away from the glowing aftermath in the_ Slums District _, Danzō padded off along the upper reaches of the monument to begin their tricky descent along the far cliff wall. They needed to be quick in their escape. He'd only get five minutes tops before ANBU responded to the perimeter seals and came after them and it was a very long way to his ally in the Land of Rice Paddies_

~III~

* * *

~*0*~

" _Without hatred, there is no enemy;_

 _When hatred consumes us, we perceive enemies everywhere."_

 _~Pema Chodron_

~*0*~

* * *

 **~ Near the Settlement of Kotōshū, Southern Taki ~**

Jiraiya was and had been called a lot over the course of his life, a very fortunate one if he had to be brutally honest. One does not live his kind of life, a shinobi's life, without gathering a few monikers along the way. Some were enviable, others detestable, but they were all well-earned.

Instead of railing against the annoying practice of being ridiculously labeled, further encouraging said behavior, he glibly let them all roll off his massive shoulders with a shrug and a smile. Outwardly he was ever the oblivious wanderer living up to his chosen image as the lovable misanthrope. It was how he made a living to begin with and covered up his other… _less than reputable_ … shinobi practices.

Spy masters good at their trade were loved by few for obvious reasons.

He'd been "the Dobe" during his academic years under Sarutobi, a bitter memory if ever there was one, however, he'd get the chance to balance the scale on that one soon enough. Jiraiya forcefully shoved the memory of his morally repugnant teammate for now reveling in the fact that the snake bastard would come into his own. The idea of wrapping his fingers around the slimy twerp's neck…

' _Anyway, moving on.'_ Early in his career he picked up the "Legendary Sannin" label and, despite the caustic memories associated with the Second Shinobi War, had been unable to shake both it and the horrible chapter associated with his life. Oh sure, the title came with perks, one only a fool would part with if they spent the vast majority of their life on the road, it just never seemed to make up for the pain that invariable shambled along with it. He tried not to wince as familiar faces flashed before his eyes, his mind supplying the necessary explosions, blood, and loss.

With another one of many sighs escaping from his lips, Jiraiya's eyes flickered to a shadowy figure hunched over drawing squiggles and patterns along the muddy ground; it would be time again soon, his shoulders appearing to sag just a bit as he glanced around for the second shadow he'd grown for this grisly mission knowing they hadn't returned yet from scouting. It would be time soon for more mostly senseless killing.

So long as _he_ died today, it would all be worth it.

Shaking off the melancholy seeping into his old bones, his eyes flickered away from the lithe figure, one of two with him on this trip, swathed in black ANBU gear and cloak and down to the small village near the southern border of Waterfall Country. He was trying to remember something before being distracted. What was it again?

' _Oh, yeah. Dobe, Sannin, then Sensei.'_ His first little-known stint at being a teacher was before Minato and just like that his frown returned.

' _Nothing good comes out of Amegakure,'_ he reminisced bitterly. Wasn't that the old curse during the war? With a mental shake of his head, he quickly moved on past the war altogether to focus on happier times while trying to ignore the silent figure puttering around their makeshift camp. _'Kami knows but they weird me out.'_

Black mask with a balaclava in the same scaled pattern of their leader. Black cloak with no markings to denote rank, the only ones that wore it. Slate grey gear that covered every inch, including their hands, black body armor, and weaponry sheathed in a grey-black tiger pattern to break up solid patterns and help blend in. They were wraiths waiting to leap out of the darkness and kidnap small children like in some horror story. They kept him on edge constantly.

Tearing his eyes away from the silent gargoyle once again, he resumed his mental checklist in order to get rid of the chill permanently crawling up his spine.

Dobe, Sannin, Sensei, Love Fool, Toad Sage, Super Pervert (bordering on Mega Pervert status), Author, Hero, Villain, "The Village's Madness" (one that actually made him chuckle softly), and finally, Godfather rounded out the list. If he were to actually admit anything out loud, the final title gave him the most pride and self-loathing simultaneously. It was also the reason why he was out here in the Taki jungle with a pair of the deadliest killers known to grace the elemental kingdoms, bar none. If it weren't for the fact that he was hunting Konoha's second greatest threat under direct order of his Hokage, Jiraiya would have laughed off the task right before looking for the nearest brothel in which to promptly drink himself blind.

There was no other way around it; it was time to tie up a loose end and, by Kami, he was going to ensure it was with his own hands. He just had to survive the _Komodo Squad_ and their leader first.

The Komodo Squad was Konoha's deadliest wetwork team of ANBU, born and bred directly under the watchful eye of their most infamous Commander, _Dragon._ They took only the worst of missions, S-Rank and above, and had never failed. Rumor had it that each one approached or was already S-Rank in skill and that alone was terrifying for the Sannin to contemplate. This thought gave Jiraiya pause as he knew why they were formed and internally cursed Orochimaru adding another in a long line of reasons to hate the man he once called friend.

This squad was made for the sole purpose of killing powerful shinobi just like Jiraiya, legacies of the previous generation and he was reminded of it each time one of their soulless masks stared at him or lingered on his form for more than a few seconds. It was almost like they were sizing him up for the most efficient way to execute then bury him in some unmarked plot in this kami-forsaken jungle.

Despite himself, he shivered.

The Komodo Squad was originally formed to go after the Snake Sannin but _Dragon_ never sent them after the traitor for one reason and one reason only – Jiraiya had sworn to bring the bastard back personally and Hiruzen honored his vow. Now here they were over a decade and a half later and Jiraiya's vow still stood even though he'd repeatedly failed to make good on his oath. Now here they were frantically plugging up the holes in the shinobi dam of peace while facing threat of invasion from the same traitorous snake he'd failed to capture and _Dragon,_ hateful bastard that he was, was rubbing Jiraiya's nose in his own failure deploying these monsters with him as a silent reminder. Now here they were.

He'd known about the double-edged purpose of the squad as soon as the idea was pitched which was part of the reason why he stepped up to swear what he did. He needed to stall their debut as much as possible, these Kage Killers as those shinobi in the know referred to them. After all, a squad of ANBU trained to take down and kill Kage-level shinobi, killers loyal to one person only, was a threat no one wanted on their back door. Hell, no one wanted them in their back yard. Jiraiya knew full well they answered to one person and it certainly wasn't Hiruzen.

That, in and of itself, was reason enough not to trust them.

They never spoke out loud opting to use advanced signs to converse even with their leader. What was worse was that they never made sound, ever, unless it was intended to unnerve someone. To add insult to injury, they never failed when they were deployed. Not once in their recorded mission history.

Twenty-three and zero.

Even if their debut hadn't been against Orochimaru, their debut (and on-going run) had been flawless. How many times had Konoha been on the brink of invasion after the Kyuubi's attack? How many times had the Ghost Squad been deployed to make things quietly "go away?" If Hiashi hadn't killed the Kumo ambassador in a fit of rage, the peace-loving Sandaime was prepared to unleash the entire squad of killers on the cloud-bound village to paint the streets red with _Bolt_ blood until Kumo capitulated.

Jiraiya's second shiver made his arm twitch unconsciously, his fingers searching for and popping a dry pill into his mouth as he waited for the tremors to pass. Damn it sucked getting old but, with the tremors dying a slow death he wrenched his mind back on track. Where was he? _Mission count_ …

The Toad Sage had lost count of their actual deployments having not once been shocked at the duplicitous nature of the shinobi world when other nations tried to capitalize on what everyone perceived to be a weakened Konoha. Threats just vanished from the face of the planet without a sound but everyone else beyond Konoha's borders knew they why. They knew because these killers left behind a calling card with each successful mission: a small ceramic mask modeled after the black mask _Dragon_ wore complete with the spiraled insignia on the forehead of that monster's porcelain face.

It never took long for the underground message to spread either, so here he was staring at another muddy village in some unbearably humid jungle waiting for the stuff of his rage-filled nightmares to gather and wipe out another secret outpost before they snuffed the source's memory from the world of the living. After this last visit, there wouldn't even be just another postscript in his memoirs to commemorate the event. With the help of a killer squad designed to kill him should he ever become disloyal to the Leaf, Jiraiya sighed once more and prepared to center his mind on the task at hand.

He stretched his back out having realized that a second shadow had appeared some time during his inner monologue, this figure having the kanji for "Three" patterned into the scaling that decorated their mask, their fingers flying smoothly through immaculate hand signs.

[Target is preparing to leave.]

"Well," Jiraiya began as he turned from the quiet copse of huts maybe a hundred meters away, "I suppose it's time we get this over with then. We need to head back to the Kusa-Konoha border in time for the escort."

Without another sound, the two stood inside of a pair of opposing circles scrawled in the dirt facing each other, their hands flying through a long series of jutsu seals.

' _Kami how I hate this part,'_ Jiraiya silently groused. Despite the growing pressure of chakra building, his eyes diverted when the door of the third hut he'd been staring at for the last four hours opened silently and a familiar figure wrapped in brown robes and bandages calmly stepped outside without waving farewell to the couple inside hosting his visiting band of three.

' _Arrogant bastard to the very end,'_ Jiraiya complained as his trepidation faded quickly away to be replaced by cool anger. _'Today your blood will water the next generation of trees on Konoha's behalf.'_

Jiraiya of the Sannin stopped the trickle of chakra empowering his vision and prepared to carry out the orders of his Hokage, orders he'd been waiting over twenty years to fulfill.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Main Gates of Iwagakure no Sato ~**

It is often said that the only thing more stubborn than an Iwa Shinobi is the rock in under which they live, and only then just barely. Merchants across the realm spin bold tales over saucers of warm sake, making light of those same shinobi even if it's never done within range of their keen ears; insulting an Iwa nin to their face is also a quick way to a stone spear in the gut. Most merchants chant a very familiar proverb from Iwa before they enter the village to ward off misfortune:

" _Taste your words carefully before you speak them; you may have to eat them later."_

Iwa shinobi are often quick to anger, like the molten earth that formed the great valley in which their strong village now resides. They appeared calm and collected on the surface only to erupt at the slightest provocation often leading to lots and lots of pain to all within reach.

Iwa shinobi have very long memories, like the mountains that form the natural barrier surrounding their home.

Iwa shinobi are also hard-of-head and even harder-of-heart, a trait prized for eking out a living in the stony wasteland that provides for their rich way of life in the form of precious metals and other treasures of the earth.

As Kurotsuchi scuffed the toe of her combat sandal into the unyielding rock at her feet, she kept at her silent mantra while her eyes never wandered from the main road leading back into the heart of her village and the large tower that served as a home more than her clan estate ever did to the most powerful single man in the village.

Her grandfather, the Sandaime Tsuchikage.

Old Man Ōnoki.

"Patience, Mushi-chan," came the familiar baritone of her other grandfather, the one from her mother's side.

Her team glanced over with genuinely-surprised expressions. No one called Kurotsuchi any form of an affectionate nickname. Ever. It simply wasn't done if you wanted to continue breathing normally. When blood didn't immediately start flying and the old man they'd only seen from a distance twice before didn't start wailing in pain, they shared one final glance with each other before turning back to the main road. Their volatile kunoichi merely added growling to her list of annoying habits once boredom and impatience began their inevitable war inside her very violent head.

It took another ten minutes for their (forced) patience to be rewarded as the Tsuchikage slowly padded his way down the main road to stand no less than six paces in front of the four Genin squads waiting to leave. The midget of a man flicked his eyes to the much taller Gekido Terumi, standing just beyond his right shoulder, and held his sickeningly sweet smile for a full minute before raking them over the gathered teams.

"Stone does not yield; it either stands firm or shatters when faced with an opposing force. You, Genin, represent the Strength of an entire village and much is expected of you." His eyes paused when they locked with Kurotsuchi's. "Much more yet will be demanded of you in the land of that demon."

There was no doubt as to which demon the old ruler was referring to. The Bingo book listed several names but no self-respecting shinobi or kunoichi from Iwa would ever mutter one aloud as anything other than a curse.

"I will ask only one thing of you. No, I will demand only one thing of you." If anything, the old man's gaze seemed to intensify, the pressure of it bearing down uncomfortably on Kurotsuchi as she tried to match it.

"Make sure that, when you leave that accursed land behind, they know that _Iwa_ was there and it was _Iwa_ that ground them into gravel."

He paused only for another ten seconds before adding, "May the mountain strengthen you."

A chorus of, "The Earth Mother's will be done!" was the roaring reply before the entire entourage bowed and marched under the village gate leaving two old men to watch them go. They would stay until the last head bobbed below the horizon, the taller of the two turning to head back into the village proper.

"Gekido."

The older man paused but neither turned around to face the other.

"If she dies, I will grind both you and that breathing wallet into dust."

The pause between the Kage's threat and the taller Gekido's response was almost long enough to match the wait when the Genin teams left the city and disappeared beneath the horizon.

"As you wish, Tsuchikage-sama."

Ōnoki couldn't see the mocking bow or smirk on the older man's lips as the latter resumed his gentle pace but it didn't take a genius to presume there'd be one. By the Great Stone, he should have killed the fool instead of letting him marry into the family. _'The only way things could get worse is if-.'_

"Yahoooooooo! Niiiiiiii-saaaan!"

For just a heartbeat, Ōnoki wondered if he could pretend not to have heard just before his annoying half-brother called out to him once again from beyond the village gates. Then he realized just how horrible his day was going to be once he glanced over his shoulder to see the fool surrounded by what looked to be everything he had left in the world.

Then he began wondering if he could get away with a subtle B-rank to have his brother "quietly disposed of."

~III~

* * *

 **~ Near the Settlement of Kotōshū, Southern Taki ~**

The bandaged face of Danzō Shimura appeared to be the picture of tranquility. Outwardly, his only brow was relaxed though the exposed eyelid seemed slitted to the point of closure. Back straight, gate measured and predictable, he appeared as the epitome of serenity, unless you knew his mannerisms and could read the extremely subtle signs of the Shadow War veteran.

They were there if you knew where to look. The extra tightening of his knuckles on the handle of his walking stick were one such "tell." His two bodyguards knew that the old man kept his hand busy when he was lost in thought, a nervous tick similar to regular smokers when caught without their smokes. When he was really lost in thought, the line of his mouth tended to press into a flat line, like it was now. Torune spared the briefest flicker of his goggled eyes to his partner and the recognition was clear as day.

Danzō Shimura was very, very deep in thought.

Looking backwards over the last few months, it wasn't terribly difficult to pose a guess as to why. Since the failed kidnapping attempt on the Kyūbi jinchūriki, their luck had been on a rapidly declining slope towards fatalistic with no indication of leveling off any time soon. At one point, it was so horrible the normally non-superstitious Danzō-sama actually let Fū burn incense at a roadside shrine in an attempt to ward off evil spirits.

It didn't change anything, but it was a sure sign of desperation if their fearless leader had fallen so low as to believe in voodoo.

First, their one declared ally turned on them soon after they fled Konoha with ANBU hot on their trail. After hurtling through the trees like common foot soldiers, the group landed in the former Rice Country thinking that the thirty nin party waiting for them was there to render assistance. It lasted just long enough for the Konoha nin to back off before their "rescue party" turned on them citing the snake bastard's desire to "recoup his investment" in a failed experiment.

Fleeing from one debacle, the haggard trio fled to Ame only to be turned away at the border. Ame's leader had heard about the Konoha debacle but wasn't ready to tip his hand against one of the Big Five just yet by taking in a wanted fugitive. Despite the _Ne_ Commander's shocked disbelief at the blatant hypocrisy, they were politely turned away this time rather than chased away.

It was a slight improvement, true, but an improvement, nonetheless.

With the ever-present sensation of being watched dogging over his shoulder, Danzō began a frantic run between all of his forward staged safe houses only to find bare-bones infrastructure. There was nothing to start a credible base of operations with, not in River, Grass, or Waterfall, the latter of which he had just departed from after a brief stop to resupply and regroup. That was exactly why he was now trudging through the northern forests of Hi no Kuni once again, his group just ten miles south of the Kono-Taki border in order to avoid the frequent patrols he helped to establish. It also helped that the ancient shinobi was rampantly paranoid, a trait that helped him to survive at least two shinobi world wars and a half dozen assassination attempts by foe and friend alike.

Why stop the trend now? It worked after all. Besides, Fū was a more than competent sensor nin. He'd be able to provide ample warning should…

The words caught in his mind even as his sandaled feet came to an abrupt stop in the smaller trees of the northern Konoha growth. _'So much for advanced warning.'_

Danzō's left eye opened slightly to take in the thick build and untamed hair of the Toad Sage who was planted directly in their makeshift path through the uncharted treeline.

"Time to face the music."

For several minutes the two stood perfectly still with only the quiet sounds of the forest to accompany them. Birds chirped, cicadas added to the melody, and the wind whistled softly through the branches above them. One eye met two as the tension mounted hot and heavy in the moisture-laden air forcing sweat to run pell-mell down the spine of both future combatants.

"You are delirious if you think I'll return to face Konoha's mockery of justice," Danzō challenged.

He was not expecting Jiraiya's response to include a raucous round of cackling. What was worse, it carried on for several minutes before the toad pervert could straighten out his spine and breathe while wiping away fresh tears. The old spy's growing paranoia peaked when the red-faced Sannin locked eyes with him and all sense of joviality left his face in half a heartbeat.

"No one said anything about you being alive to face trial."

It took several seconds for the one-eyed mummy to regain control of his twitching facial features and, when he did, he responded with only two words.

"Torune. Fū."

Two _Root_ agents would prove to be a decent warmup. Danzō really only expected them to hold him off for the three minutes needed for him to free his right arm from the makeshift sling of his robe and remove the metal seals suppressing his _kekke_ _genkai_ -infused arm. He looked down to work his arm free and heard two bone-crunching hits followed by grunts of pain from two different people. Willing them to hold out just a few minutes more, Danzō reached down to grab the first bolt only to release it and roll desperately to his right as a geta sandal smashed into the loamy undergrowth leaving behind an earth-shattering _THWUMP_ to go along with the fresh crater.

His eye flickered up to meet the snarling face of the Toad Sage, his surprise and confusion clearly evident before he dared a hurried look to his opponent's former side of the small clearing. Instead of seeing his personal guard rallying to his defense, he saw them squared off against two very familiar wraiths garbed in dark greys streaked with black.

"Yeah," Jiraiya's smug voice oozed into his ear forcing his face back around, "I brought _them_ but that won't help you right now." Jiraiya settled into another stance. "Better you focus on one fight at a time."

This time Danzō cursed knowing he was as good as dead. Face to face with Jiraiya, he had no opportunity to free his arm meaning he had access to neither the _Mokuton_ nor the sharingan in his arm. If worse came to worse, and by that, he meant life or death, he couldn't even sacrifice Shisui's eye and break away with those two monsters manhandling his henchmen as he hadn't mastered _Izanagi_ enough to cast it seallessly. It was very much the end of the road.

Unfortunately for Jiraiya, Danzō was never one to give up when there was still a chance of survival. Gritting his teeth, the old campaigner still had a trick or two up one working sleeve.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Near the Kusa – Konoha Border, Northwestern Land of Fire ~**

Pushing through the rest of the night wasn't a problem for Team Asuma. At best, there were more of a stone's throw from the border checkpoint, which was the whole idea with the join up spot; it was very close to the Konoha outpost complete with a reinforced garrison even if it was minimally manned. No luxuries like plumbing but there were beds, warm meals, basins to scrub away some of the road grime and outhouses eliminating the need for field latrines.

To the fatigued infiltration squad, it was almost a four-star inn.

' _ **I don't care if you're still angry with me. I felt what I felt, and my senses have never been wrong when it comes to threats to us.'**_

…and then there was that on-going fly in the ointment.

Naruto sat up on the bunk he'd commandeered in their barracks and sighed heavily wishing the chakra entity would let this slide. They could discuss her reasons in detail once he was locked away in his home fortress, not that he believed her.

' _ **What's not to believe?'**_

' _Damn, forgot you could do that.'_ Now he was grimacing making his face accurately reflect his inner turmoil.

' _ **Surely even you can't be that dense?'**_ There was a pregnant pause before…

' _ **Of course, you are.'**_

The connection cut off abruptly as the chakra powerhouse stalked off into the forest of his mindscape with a huff. Perhaps it was for the best as a friendly knock sounded on the door frame of their bunkhouse, the smiling face of one Ino Yamanaka catching his eyes further wrinkling the smooth plane of his forehead.

"Damn, handsome. What did I do to earn that scowl?"

Naruto's face unfurled as his hand shot up to the back of his head under autopilot only adding to his sheepish expression. How do you explain to your… _girlfriend?..._ that the demon in your gut doesn't trust her? When the hateful demon claims that she reeks of dishonest intentions every time she smiles at you? You try to live in denial is what you do.

"We can sort it out later, handsome. Asuma wants us to meet up in the commissary for breaky on the double."

' _Team Seven must be here.'_ He noted wryly that the smile on her face didn't quite reach her ice-blue eyes. Well, he'd have to burn that bridge once they crossed it. Instead, he heaved up off the stiff bed and padded silently out to walk with her across the tiny patch of mud serving for a common area at Outpost Prairie.

The clearing wasn't more than thirty meters across, just large enough to allow wagon traffic safely through the outpost. The two-story female barracks was on the far side of the mud patch two plots closer to the Command Center. A smattering of shorter buildings littered the common area meeting most of the basic functions supporting life on the duty fringe. Everything was as Spartan as using _Doton_ chakra to build an outpost with could make it, but it met the need. The goal had been to minimalize environmental impact while providing a location to stage out of.

Tucking away military architecture for another day, deep blue eyes snapped to the squat brick that served as the chow hall taking one last breath before ducking through the hanging flaps and into the eerily quiet mess. At the moment, the entire place echoed with the lack of sound as cooks ground out the daily chores needed to feed fifty shinobi meals healthy enough to keep them alert on border patrols. What little chatter was coming from a table near the center of the facility came to an abrupt stop once the two blonds pushed their way inside.

Then the scowling began as onyx orbs met azure ones despite the warm eyesmile bubbling up from the cycloptic Jounin sitting across from Asuma-sensei.

 _Five Hours After the Border Rendezvous…_

"Do you think he knows?"

Ino's question was a whisper, a breath in the cooling evening air as the twin party escort trundled along in the failing light of day. The treeline was steadily growing denser as the upper foliage shaded the Kusa-Konoha caravan from the summer's harsh rays. Not for the first time had the Konoha bunch been more awed or thankful for the massive titans of lumber that made up their home, an everlasting gift from their beloved Shodaime. It even made the flabbergasted looks on their hateful, foul-mouthed clients all the more enjoyable.

No, the scenic march through Hi no Kuni's one-of-a-kind forest was a blessing in another vein today as the thick treeline forced the escort, and their charges, to stretch out the line a bit providing enough distance (she hoped) to keep their conversation safely beyond the range of their morbidly contemplative teammate, his blond head peeking out every so often near the front of the convoy from the point position next to Asuma Sensei.

Choji and Sasuke – Ino considered for a moment how odd it felt not attaching the "Kun" suffix to his name out of habit – took up the right guard position in between the first and third Kusa teams while she had clustered up with Shika on the left guard between the third and fourth Kusa squads, their first hitch in the "Capture and Ghost" mission now frustratingly belly-up. Rear guard was Kakashi and Sakura, her former friend now (or better eternally) love rival for the affections of the duck-haired heir. If her ruminations about the lacking open-air rivalry were odd enough, the current tension between Ino and her current love interest were enough to drive her to distraction. Speaking of which…

"I'm sorry, Shika. What was that again?"

Her lazy road buddy sighed through clenched teeth before cutting heavily lidded eyes her way. _'Troublesome woman,'_ clearly written all over his face. "If you're not going to pay attention when someone answers you then stop asking for their opinion."

Feeling a bit sheepish at her apparent lack of focus, Ino abruptly apologized while motioning for him to "get on with it" using the same rolling motion of her left forearm.

"Troublesome… I said it's unlikely he knows for fact." The Nara's eyes flickered forward to the blond mass of hair resting above well-rounded shoulders and shrugged unconcernedly. "It's more than likely that he suspects. It's not like he's as stupid as the entire town wishes he would be. Taking into account that he's surprisingly intuitive when reading people, it's very likely that his doubts are growing."

Ino panicked.

"But what-." Her worried hiss was cut short by the raised palm hovering two feet to her left.

"Not much we can do about it but ask for advice once we get back." Shika's piercing glare flickered back to the wrinkled mass of blond eyebrows for a brief moment. "You need to hold it together until then. Spiraling now will only make him more suspicious and then we'll lose him for sure."

The gnawing of her teeth along a pouty lower lip and a curt nod were the kunoichi's only reply. Internally, however, she began reliving the past ten months of nauseous apprehension clawing at her gut.

' _Will he hate us when this is all said and done?'_ kept rolling around in her head until camp finally pitched up in the nearest clearing some three hours later.

Unfortunately, neither of them paid any attention to the narrowed eyebrows belonging to the flowing mass of red hair in Kusa Team Three throughout their earlier conversation.

~III~

* * *

 **~ With Danzō and Jiraiya, Near Southern Taki ~**

Jiraiya grunted in displeasure as he slipped behind another tree hoping to break Danzō's line of sight. Those _Fūton_ -laced shuriken were a pain in the- _'Whoa! Pay attention Jiraiya-boy!'_

He wasn't nearly as young as he used to be but being forced to quickly substitute out with one of the newly added tree segments littering their makeshift battleground kept him from shaving off thirty centimeters of height from the neck up. He spared a quick glance backwards as the latest aerial menace continued onwards through another tree or three before sticking into one of the bigger boughs further in the treeline. This close to the border, Hi no Kuni's trees weren't the mammoth beasts making up the hidden village's camouflage but they were big enough to rival anything in the Taki jungle. This much noise would attract unnecessary attention and that meant he needed to wrap things up soon.

A well-intentioned patrol would only provide a means for the old bastard to escape.

The problem came in the fact that his strongest non- _Senjutsu_ weapon would turn the northern half of his home into a raging bonfire so both oil and _Katon_ were off the table. Taking the time to enter Sage Mode would also give the old mummy an opportunity to unseal whatever he had hidden beneath that lame-duck injury he called an arm so that was also out of the question. No, he needed to keep the pressure on while he had the upper hand, limited though he was in variety of offensive options by location. _'Time to get creative…'_

Little known fact, Jiraiya could use and had mastered more than _Katon_ or _Doton_ chakra natures implying that his range of jutsu spanned a wider repertoire. Those two elemental natures were his favorite because they were his primaries – well, primary _Doton_ with a minor _Katon_ affinity but they were his first and, as a result, came easiest to him. Did he have the vast _Fūton_ catalog to throw back at Danzō? Not necessarily, however, it didn't mean that he was far from helpless without his handy _Katon_ kit at the moment.

The acute lull in combat afforded Jiraiya the opportunity to hear the soft clinking of metal from his opponent's general direction. Given as it was the fourth time Danzō had tried to free his arm, Jiraiya made it a sticking point to make the old bastard pay for the distraction, his hands folding into a single seal.

' _Tiger.'_

Jiraiya didn't even voice the jutsu as he only needed it to provide a momentary distraction, his next set of seals already flying as the elder leaped away from the torrent of muddy earth crashing in his direction. A longer set of seals ending with _'Dragon',_ how ironic, caused the still liquid earth in front of the Sage to bubble and morph into the upper half of a dragon's head, the horned maw easily twice his own body length. The eyes of the eerie jutsu glowed a brilliant golden color before the entire construct opened its mouth (as if it had a lower jaw at all) and unloaded a barrage of muddy projectiles shaped like oversized mud pies in the projected landing spot of his target.

Thinking that at least a few of the hardening bullets would at least graze the old codger, Jiraiya winced as the falling log ricocheted across the clearing right before a wind enhanced kunai punched through his back and out of his chest.

Danzō _tsked_ in disgust as the clone crumbled into pieces of mud and dirt right before his body seized up with the jolt of ten thousand volts surging through the still muddy earth, steam quickly rising from the ground as it dried and cracked under the sudden _Raiton_ onslaught.

Another Jiraiya safely tucked away in the upper branches of a nearby tree frowned slightly as the twitching body of his enemy beneath him vanished into a puff of harmless smoke. Not two seconds later the pained gasp from the former Council member caught his ears from the nearby brush.

' _So, he didn't completely escape unharmed.'_ Sliding back into the darker branches, Jiraiya sent another wave of earth clones to flush out his prey while he prepared his final surprise.

Meanwhile, the old man fighting desperately for his life was gnashing his teeth together furiously trying to flush residual electricity from his seizure-gripped limbs. He needed to regain control quickly and regroup knowing he wouldn't get saved again by another clone; it had been hell to create that one as a safety net without full use of both arms to weave signs and he didn't have the control to mass-produce them without seals like the vessel did. It was lamentable that he did not have the benefit of such a powerful weapon to shore up his reserves.

Blinking the blurriness from his exposed eye and feeling every one of his six-plus decades of shinobi life, Danzō fought to regain his footing before limping off into the shadows. He needed the twitching in his hands to stop before he could remove the bolts keeping his right arm sealed. He needed time to – ' _On the right!'_

Jiraiya slipped behind another tree and immediately substituted with one of the _many_ chunks of lumber littering the now greatly expanded patch of forest. He could hear the high-pitched whining of _Futon_ laced shuriken as they sailed by slicing their way through an entire copse of trees, the already deadly tool boosted by the two-meter diameter disc of air ripping its way through lumber like rice paper. Jiraiya was making mental notes about the technique to offer up to Naruto seeing Danzō literally breathe life into the small weapons by infusing wind chakra into the metal through exhalation.

' _Go figure, that bastard_ Dragon _was right when he said the old bastard couldn't mold chakra through both arms with those seals in place. Hnh.'_

Jiraiya kept just enough pressure on to prevent those metal seals from coming off but he wasn't sure how long it would take before the old Councilor ran out of chakra. He needed to wrap this up soon and hustle out to the Kusa-Konoha border for the escort.

He dodged another whirling blade of death before flying through four hand seals ending on _Ram_. [ _Sekkai Bunshin no Jutsu_ ]Using a sealless body flicker, Jiraiya created some space then melted into the soft ground while his clones split off to pelt the _Fūton_ -spitting shinobi with rock spears adding to Danzō's growing sense of frustration.

If the old man tried to flee, rock spears would shoot out of the ground nearly impaling him and forcing the old shinobi to redirect; leaping blindly into the path of an enemy didn't usually end well for the leaper.

If Danzō tried to push chakra into his feet and take to the higher tree branches, Jiraiya (or an earth clone of him) would meet him halfway adding to the growing collection of bruises.

Danzō, while standing near the center of the open area he created flinging wind chakra left and right, reached for another shuriken only to come up empty. With a curse in between heaving pants, he drew a kunai, a tool he never thought to need again, and breathed a double lungful of wind chakra into the blade extending it by two feet. Once he'd stabilized the weapon, he glanced up with his one uncovered eye to see a half dozen copies of the Toad Sage staring back at him from different points along the clearing's edge.

"Time to say goodnight, Danzō." As always, the condescending sneer was there.

Danzō hated that sneer.

The copy that spoke began running in his direction with a drawn kunai and Danzō charged out to meet him. The old campaigner smiled bringing up his blade to neatly sever the unenhanced weapon as he brought his wind blade down onto the nin's shoulder, their bodies colliding with a thud. When the figure didn't crumble away immediately, he began to entertain the idea that it might finally be over as anti-climactic as the ending was.

Then the grimacing, but not bleeding nin he noticed, brought up his left hand quickly to slap a piece of paper to Danzō's face next blurting out, _"O Fuin"_ as he did so. There was a burst of chakra as the Jiraiya he killed crumbled into stone leaving the older man to stagger forward a step once the clone supporting his weight collapsed.

Then the dizziness struck him, and, in a wave of nauseating weakness, the wind blade sputtered out. Danzō's wrapped hand lifted the strangely silent object up enough so that his good eye could see it, his teeth gnashing as he tried to re-energize the weapon.

It wasn't working. As it was dawning on him that he couldn't access any chakra, something wet and heavy slammed into his back. His head swung to the left so his good eye could see what nearly knocked him down and clung to his white battle kimono only for another wet object to slam into his chest. When he looked forward again, he was encased front-to-back in quickly drying mud, mud that was just as rapidly starting to weigh him down and bind his arms to his sides.

"No!" _'This is NOT happening!'_ "Noooooooooooo-."

There was a sharp pain across the back of his neck and the world tumbled uncontrollably. In the minute or so that his brain continued to work without fresh oxygen, Danzō's uncovered eye looked up to see yet another Jiraiya standing behind a headless body encased from neck to knees in caked-on mud.

Then the world went entirely black.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used in This Chapter]_

* * *

 **[S-Rank] O Fuin (Subdue Seal):** A special written seal, probably created by Jiraiya, that when applied to Uzumaki Naruto's body will dispel all effects, including chakra, of the Kyubi. This seal is probably S-ranked, because of its ability to seal Kyubi's chakra when it's already out. Since Kakashi was given the seal by Jiraiya, it is implied that Jiraiya was witness to an event during the timeskip that triggered the Kyubi's manifestation.

 **[A-Rank] Mizu Funkei (Water Decapitation):** A small beam of water powerful enough to simply cut off a limb, its strength gets weaker the further away the target is. From closer range the targets limb will easily be dismembered. The jet is so small it's easy to dodge.

 **[B-Rank] Doton: Sekkai Bunshin no Jutsu (Earth Release: Rock Clone Technique):** A clone is actually created out of rock, not just dirt and other pieces of earth. The user expels earth from their mouth to form it into one or several identical clones. Unlike other clones, ones generated by this method do not disappear when struck with sufficient force, but rather break apart. This clone is faster and stronger than a simple earth clone. The bunshin can have the exact Physical stats of the user. The bunshin can use 1 Doton jutsu, C-ranked or lower.

 **[B-Rank] Doton: Doryū Taiga (Earth Release: Great Mud River)** – Description: The user transforms the surface underneath their opponent into a river that sweeps them off their feet and carries them downstream. This technique can also be used as a medium for the [Earth Release: Earth Dragon Bullet] technique.

 **[B-Rank] Doton: Doryūdan (Earth Release: Earth Dragon Bullet)** \- After creating a mud source, the user creates a dragon-like head to shoot mud balls at an opponent. To be more threatening, the user can combine this technique with a fire technique to make the mud balls become searing hot.

 **[B-Rank) Doton: (Earth Release: Stone Overcoat)** – A modification of _**Doton: Kajūgan no Jutsu**_ , Iwa's _Added-Weight Rock Technique_ , Jiraiya sacrifices Earth Clones to wrap his opponents in a heavy cocoon of rock to immobilize and trap them for transport. The jutsu uses the earthy material of the clone to increase the gravitational and immobility effects of the technique by transferring them directly to the target. NOTE: Opponents with high levels of earth manipulation could escape the technique if given time, so Jiraiya has learned to either stun them, suppress their chakra quickly, or outright eliminate them if they pose a significant threat.

 **[C-Rank] Raiton: Raikou Hitofuki no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Lightning Blast Technique)** \- An upgraded version of _Lightning Bolt_ , this jutsu works the same way except now it is a continuous blast of electricity. The blast can be ended prematurely by the user. A target hit by this technique will experience quite painful electric shocks capable of disrupting movement and chakra use, however, they are still relatively minor.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Dochuu Senkou (Earth Release: Underground Submarine Voyage):** Dochuu Senkou allows the shinobi to sink below ground and quickly travel through the earth.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Doryuusou (Earth Release: Earthen Rising Spears):** Doryuusou no Jutsu is a Ninjutsu technique utilizing the Earth Element. After forming the needed hand seals, spears of stone will raise from the ground to pierce the target. The technique can be countered by an opponent who hardens their body with a stronger Earth Element jutsu.

~III~


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** I'm not one to belabor and argument over writing skills or claiming to be better than Kishimoto-san. Point blank, I'm not. Let's get that out in the open at the start.

Hell, I'm not even a writer by profession.

Someone attempted to accuse me of making that bold statement-claiming so after reading a single chapter of this story, their "brave" guest comment filled with righteous rage. They were so indignant that they couldn't even take credit for their brave stand in defense of Kishimoto-san's work in light of my caustic abuse of his product. The funny thing is they'll never even read this far into the story and see the error of their ways.

How tragic it was. I was almost moved to cringing in shame. Almost… well, I couldn't even type that with a straight face. I could give two well-rounded turds about it, however, to avoid future confusion I'll be clear.

TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR, I am not nor have I ever claimed to be better than Kishimoto. Heck, I'm not even seeking to be published; I'm an engineer that likes to daydream about shinobi saving the world. Kishimoto is a published success story and the world he's created is indeed a marvel of imagination. You don't know me so don't put words in my mouth.

I do have a difference of opinion with how he developed his story and _that's_ why we have fanfiction. I'm allowed to have a different opinion. It gives us "no-talent hacks" a place to vent our imagination and try something different. It's my right to be a disagreeable arse. What's more, if you don't like it, you have the total freedom of choice not to read it.

That'll teach us, by gum!

Also, if you're going to try and use something like the secret lives of jinchuuriki to throw shade, you should at least make an effort to make a partially-accurate argument (it makes you sound less ignorant when you know what you're talking about and trust me, you don't). Not only was this person's point of view completely wrong with regard to canon no less, but it also has nothing to do with fanfiction. They, like their comment, are irrelevant and I ask the rest of you level-headed folks to keep that in mind as you decide whether or not to indulge me in this inaccurate depiction of life with Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze in my version of Konohagakure no Sato.

Oh, before I forget. Didn't someone say that I sucked at writing romance once? Something to do with Ino's awkward scenes with Naruto? Well, you're about to learn why they were so awkward. Evil Grin

Enjoy the Chunin Exam pre-game.

 _Ja ne!_

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 35: The Tangled Webs We Weave**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _Bored out of her mind and tired of room service, Karin Uzumaki, a.k.a. "the worthless tomato of Team Shigeri," was sitting lotus style on her fairly comfortable hotel bed, the two Chunin-level kunoichi sharing her room alternating between sending odd looks her way and dealing cards to their two-woman game of Hold 'Em. She'd been sitting like that for the last hour cycling chakra through her system trying to reverse the nasty bite marks (unsuccessfully) littering her upper body._

 _Not for the first time did one of the two grimaced at what they saw. It didn't matter that most in Kusa considered her foreign trash, she was now a loyal kunoichi of Kusagakure no Sato and, in their humble opinion, deserved better treatment. She deserved some respect considering it was her "special talent" that saved more than a few of their rear ends when the fat hit the fire during the latest post-war skirmishes with Rain as rogue nin fled the purge of Hanzo from Ame._

 _The girl had more than paid her dues in their books, however, Kusa was stubbornly bigoted like that. The old prejudices died hard in the plains._

 _So, when the girl flashed a dazzling smile right before opening her eyes to blurt out wanting a late night snack, both of them had little problem with kicking her teammates out of bed to escort her across the street to that dingy little ramen shack. Rini-chan even promised herself that she'd belt the loud-mouthed one if he complained too loudly about having to go claiming he needed an attitude adjustment anyway._

 _Furthermore, just to be safe about it, they'd grab a quick bite and watch from the shadows to make sure no Konoha trash got too friendly with their scarlet angel of mercy._

~III~

* * *

 **~ Iwagakure no Sato, Office of the Sandaime Tsuchikage ~**

"You couldn't have gotten the message here sooner?"

Ōnoki was feeling a bit… tense. His eyes were closed. His tiny fists were balled up into twitching apples on top of his custom (altered-for-his-stature) desk. He was counting backwards slowly from one hundred as his mustache trembled violently at the tightly pressed corners of his mouth. For all intents and purposes, the pint-sized dictator was furious. Did he not appreciate the great sacrifice his younger brother made in order to close up his affairs and make haste back to the shinobi capitol?

"Hmph, I mean really. How ungrateful can you be, brother?" Yari felt a bit vindicated considering his elder brother made him wait an entire day before he'd give him an audience. As far as he was concerned, any delay was his brother's fault for being so stoneheaded.

Ōnoki's face turned a brilliant scarlet to match his nose right before his eyes snapped open. He was trying to ignore the gaily decorated pink kimono of his brother- _half brother,_ he quickly amended. He was also trying desperately to keep his blood pressure in check.

"Not only did you lose me my most profitable venture-."

"-in another country's territory-," Yari quickly interrupted.

"-but you tell me two and a half days later that the person responsible for breaking up our mining operation was an Uzumaki royal allied with the _Leaf_?!" Ōnoki flatly ignored the inference that he was illegally stealing the natural resources of one country in order to sell them at a ridiculously huge profit to another. He was but that was beside the point.

That last word, the _Leaf_ , was almost a curse given the vehemence in the little tyrant's throat and, while Yari was brave enough to venture many risqué opportunities, pitching the reigning Kage into a murderous pique focused in his direction was not one of them. He would need a way to salvage this somehow.

"We traveled through the night to get here as soon as we could. I fail to see why-."

Ōnoki wasted no time cutting off another of his half-brother's simpering mental wanderings. "My _granddaughter_ is on her way _right now_ to Konoha for the Chunin Exams!"

' _Oh, well that sucks.'_ Yari, being linked to Ōnoki by the same hateful father through infidelity and debauchery, was many things but politically inept was not one of them. He knew his place. As the bastard son of a former Clan head of stature, he'd lived his life in the shadow of Iwa politics without the overt protections of his lecherous father. One did not survive long without a firm grasp on political boundaries and he was, much to his rapidly growing shock, recklessly traipsing through shark-infested waters at the moment.

"Well, I suppose we could have risked losing everything we've saved before fleeing to send a message but that was deemed too risky." Ōnoki's raised palm halted any further conversation. Without another word, the same hand flipped down to make a _shooing_ motion indicating the meeting had definitively reached its end.

"As you wish brother." The younger sibling rose gracefully and glided towards the exit executing one last curtsy as he departed with a final, "I await your next command, as always."

And like a gentle breeze, Yari was gone and Ōnoki was alone in his office trying to reorganize his thoughts. "Gao!" A heavy-set shinobi appeared from the nearest office corner. "Find me Roshi! I have a message he needs to personally deliver for me."

~III~

 **~ Konogakure no Sato, Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~**

The week had been extraordinarily tranquil if Hiruzen had to admit it to himself. While Naruto's pranking had long been an issue of the past, the old campaigner actually had to struggle to remember the last prank clearly, he still found unintentional ways to keep life interesting. Digging into the recesses of his still nimble mind, images of bright orange ninken streaking across his imagination, before shuffling the memories back into storage along with the last bit of paperwork cluttering his desk.

The Uzumaki heir kept his promise buckling down and rising from juvenilistic self-destruction to professional acumen, but this Kage had its own nest of vipers to contend with. Glancing back to the last angry stamp of denial, the Sandaime shook his balding head in disproval at the latest Council attempt to abscond with the hidden Arashi estate and, not for the first or even hundredth time, the Hokage wondered how much paperwork he would generate if he ordered the A-Rank needed to assassinate them all.

He'd even looked into it once or twice, the amount of work and the right mix of shinobi needed to wipe the slate clean in a single night. For a dictatorial leader in his position, it would be remarkably easy to accomplish and get away with. Given their less than reputable reputation among the militaristic branch of the Konoha government, any number of his best, mediocre, or even worst shinobi/ kunoichi would jump at the chance. No one would even fault him for it.

The problem therein, and the only reason staying the executioner's blade, came in the amount of administrative pain the Civilian Council, in reality, saved him. Despite the added misery, they caused in trying to make the life of the Yondaime's son a living hell, the amount of labor required to run a village the size of the Leaf was astronomical. What was the saying? _'Many hands make for light work?'_

Hiruzen was called "The Professor" for justifiable reasons but he didn't know the first thing about how to run a bank or an orphanage. He knew how to balance a Clan account and that you shouldn't try to poison a defenseless two-year-old but what decent human couldn't connect the dots there? Computers? Couldn't tell you the first thing about one but he didn't need to as the Hokage. He just needed trustworthy people to support him and therein lay the other problem.

Despite the administrative boon, those same human beings knew just how to bog him down in minutia when they were about to get into something underhanded. The bureaucracy was a dual-edged blade of the worst sort and now he was firmly in bed with the corrupt organization without an escape route through the walls.

His eyes flickered to the corner where a certain hidden passage no longer resided and the corners of his mouth crinkled into a small smile. Sometimes there were pleasant memories to make him seem less old and those were fewer and farther between of late. Perhaps it was time to seriously contemplate retiring again.

Placing his hands firmly on the armrests of his extremely comfortable chair, he made to rise…

 _Knock. Knock. Knock. 'Sigh.'_

' _Well, there goes an early lunch with Kono-kun.'_ Easing back into his chair, the Sandaime Hokage tamped out a deliberate ten count while re-packing his favorite pipe before barking out a curt, "Enter!" When he looked up from his very focused preparation, it was to the surprise discovery of both Teams Seven and Asuma minus the blond jinchūriki so, in order to buy time for mental processing, he responded in typical Kage fashion.

"Report." _'Provide time to think by requiring your subordinates to fill the silence with information.'_

"Hokage-sama, primary escort mission complete." Kakashi placed the Kusa missive on the desk. "We met with the Kusa team as directed with all support in place. Unfortunately, Kusa decided to go off-script by sending two Jounin-led squads of Chunin to protect their 'interests,' so to speak." The elite shrugged almost casually. " _Tora_ decided, and rightfully so, that we could not eliminate the Genin without risking some of the Kusa escort escaping and alerting their hidden village. As such, our lead gave the abort signal and we defaulted to bringing them safely to Konoha assuming the second phase of the exam would be the best place to execute the original mission."

"I can see where this would pose problems." Upon seeing the confused looks on the face of his Genin, Hiruzen chose to elaborate.

"The Kusagakure Oyabun is and always has been a very shrewd man. We can surmise Kusa was not aware of our plan to liberate someone from their rank and file."

Here the Genin of Team Seven appeared very confused.

"Else they would have refused to send anyone," the quick Yamanaka supplied, which earned her a smiling nod from her Kage.

"Correct. However, our spies within the village indicate that knowledge of a surviving Uzumaki member may have predicated the additional security measures." At that point, the lights began to come on in the minds of Konoha's newest nin. "It would appear we are not the only ones with skilled eyes and ears in other hidden villages."

"You're concerned they plan to steal away his loyalties through the female Genin while insuring her safe return through the extra muscle." It wasn't a question from the former ANBU.

Hiruzen's answering nod proved Kakashi was on the right track. "We'll need to take full advantage of the second phase of the exam. We must be absolutely sure that the Uzumaki kunoichi meets an _unfortunate end_ with the rest of her team."

The older Sarutobi took a moment to light his pipe before continuing. Kakashi started with stuffing his hands into the pockets of his uniform and eye smiling in his normally lazy fashion. It was not a move that fostered confidence of any sort.

Hiruzen considered the counter shift of the mission and nodded having planned Phase Two as a backup should something go wrong in the escort. Sending large smoke rings to the ceiling, he conceded the point with a satisfied nod of his head. "Make sure the escorts do not have access to the Tower during the second phase, Iruka."

The ever-present instructor nodded as he made dedicated notes of the A-Class debriefing.

"We will credit your Genin with the mission based on their performance during the exams." Hiruzen tried not to notice how the pouting Uchiha's face perked up at the thought of being able to complete his original mission and engage a few Kusa nins in the bargain.

"By the way Asuma, where exactly is Naruto?" the old man asked as he released the security seals from his desk.

Ignoring the scoff coming from the broody Uchiha heir, Ino answered up instead. "He's escorting the Kusa group to their hotel, Hokage-sama. He said he'd come straight here once he was done to debrief you on his observations of their group."

Asuma merely turned to Ino and inclined his head. The young mindwalker flashed a Ram seal and closed her eyes for several heartbeats.

"They are just arriving at the Olive Branch. We have perhaps another ten minutes before they finish, and he returns here." Hiruzen nodded at the update; the Olive Branch was the largest hotel complex in the village designed and intended to host large numbers of foreign dignitaries or shinobi teams participating in events such as the Chunin Exams. It also had the distinct pleasure as being included in the Barrier Team's village defense plans given the military-grade seals capable of sealing up tight the three-building complex through chakra barrier and restriction seals.

"Pops, we need to debrief you on our primary still but, before that, these two need to speak with you on that _other_ matter."

"Maa, time for my cute little Genin to move on to other things! By your leave, Hokage-sama." Despite the eye smile and lazy drawl, both Sarutobi in the office were appreciative of the elite Jounin's quick uptake on affairs. No sooner were the bewildered members of Team Seven evacuated then Hiruzen flew through the obligatory hand seals required to activate his privacy seals.

"Pops, looks like we might have a small problem on our hands." It didn't take long to fill the old man in on what details were omitted from the Hanikamu mission, the implications for the recent Iwa Genin team becoming all the more suspect.

An acknowledging grunt a few minutes later followed by a gentle, "Well done, dismissed!" saw Team Asuma on their way right as the door opened to admit the somber face of Team Asuma's point nin. Pausing for a quick peck on the cheek by his favorite blond kunoichi, the bijū container sidled up to the desk to begin his part of the brief while his team slipped quietly away.

Ino and Shikamaru shared one final look right as the double doors to the Hokage's office clicked softly shut. Ignoring the burning desire to spiral out of control and do something idiotic like hyperventilate-not that Shika ever would as it'd be too troublesome to expend the energy, they parted ways at the base of the tower, Shika heading solemnly off towards his clan estate while Ino strode purposely to the center of Konoha's Market District. Diverting off the main east-west drag, she hung a sharp left and promptly found herself outside The Dango Stop, her eyes locking onto a particularly jaunty ponytail the color of plums.

~*0*~

Despite being at her favorite non-work-related place, Anko was having a hard time doing anything other than staring malevolently at the fresh plate of her still-steaming, and well-earned if she had to say it, treat. She'd asked for the rare pineapple dango today and the bright yellow of the sweet glaze, the deep golden color of the pineapple bits, kept reminding her of a very unpleasant memory.

' _Wasn't my fault.'_

She almost believed it that time, but one particular chunk of the citrusy treat seemed to glare back at her with a mental, _'And you believe that shit, do ya?'_

It was particularly infuriating. She was under orders, wasn't she? Didn't that count for anything? A tiny Anko appeared on her left shoulder wearing an all-white copy of her trademark ensemble with the only difference being that her skirt reached halfway to her knees.

' _You knew the orders were morally bankrupt, Anko dear. Let's not delude ourselves with pedantic bullshit.'_

Anko blinked twice, the first time when her eyes flickered to her left shoulder to see a chibi version of herself with tiny angel wings, a slightly off-kilter halo, and she was dressed in pure white. The second time she blinked came when her angelic conscience swore at her for trying to defend her choice of following orders.

' _You can't blame her for this one, you pantywaist vanilla tart!'_ Anko's eyes whipped to her other shoulder only to find the obvious chibi doppelganger bedecked all in black minus any sort of skirt and a see-through trench that looked more like a long rain slicker. At least she was wearing a black thong to spare Anko what was left of her paper-thin modesty.

Anko paused to admit the thigh-high, and very impractical, stiletto boots were a nice touch though.

' _Of course, you would defend her. You defend every shitty decision she's ever made and that's why we end up in these cracked over situations All. The. TIME!'_ The chibi angel's wings were fluttering like a hummingbird as she levitated mere centimeters off Anko's shoulder.

' _Fuck off, Tweety! Without me, life would be one long snooze fest. Be lucky I let you rub one out from your timeout corner.'_ The dark chibi huffed dismissively as she buffed out tiny black fingernails along the lapel of her plastic overcoat.

' _That's it!'_ By now, Anko's poor brain had given up trying to follow the discussion between the opposites of her persona but the unwelcomed distraction of a certain platinum blond brought in a fresh focus for her mental breakdown. It also served to stop the two mini-Ankos from flailing their arms at each other from opposing shoulders like some elementary school brawl.

' _Hold that thought. Fresh meat just landed.'_ As one, all three versions of the clearly distraught Tokujo looked up to lock eyes with their unwanted guest. All three sets of orbs narrowed dangerously at the intrusion to their self-reflection and self-attitude adjustment session.

"No," Anko growled out only to receive a confused blink in return from the pinup kunoichi.

"What do you mean, ' _no?_ ' You're my _handler_. I'm supposed to report in when we return from missions to keep you up to date." Ino casually reached across the table and snagged one of the untouched dango skewers popping one of the sweet treats into her mouth. A body-wracking cold chill shot up her spine as the light seemed to dim a bit, the blood-curdling sensation drawing her eyes up and across the table to the light brown orbs seeking a place to stab something pointy, or less so, somewhere into her body.

"What? You weren't going to eat it with that look on your face."

' _Well, look at the tits on this one,'_ purred the angel. The chibi devil actually raised an eyebrow at the comment from her lighter twin.

The younger kunoichi blanched when a kunai thundered into the tabletop with a loud _bang,_ the blade spaced evenly between Ino and the rapidly cooling plate of food. When she looked up to relock eyes with the specialist, she involuntarily swallowed before trying to move on from the _very_ clear threat.

"Ooookay, today is clearly an off-day so I'll be brief."

Anko's raised palm cut her off. "Get it through your fucking skull. I'm not your handler!"

Ino frowned but managed to get out, "But _they_ said-," right before Anko cut her off again. That was getting really old.

"It doesn't matter what _they_ said for your 'seduction' mission." Ino tried to ignore the air quotes blinked her way. " _They_ don't run the village. It's only an A-ranker and we're not at war. If it were an S-rank, it would be an entirely different plate of dango, but it's not. I don't have to accept _their_ mission and I haven't." Her finger tapped the table three times, once for each word at the end of her sentence.

"I was ordered to step aside by _my_ superior and that's all I did." The now angry torturer rose and threw down a wad of Ryu. "That doesn't make me your accomplice in this bullshit. I won't hurt him any more than I was already forced to."

"Chickenshit."

Anko's body jerked to a stop before she could turn away from the table, her face registering first shock then anger before charging right on past that to murderous killing intent. Ino, despite the violent shudders wracking her body, clearly didn't have enough common sense to stop while she was ahead.

"You claim that you love him but, instead of working with me to keep him here, keep him happy and safe, you throw up your hands and walk off into the sunset." The heat growing in her own pale eyes was helping to stave of the growing desire to flee from the Jounin's punishing _KI_. "They'll hand me off to someone that doesn't care about him or how he turns up when this all ends. It's not like there are a ton of people in this village that care whether or not he lives or dies to begin with!"

Despite her anger, she flinched reflexively when the older woman ripped the kunai from the table. Ino had forgotten about the weapon, but she'd gone too far to pull back now, her tongue slipping out to nervously wet her lips.

"You still planning on abandoning him _once the exams are over_?!" Despite being delivered in an even volume and tempo, the venom in the older woman's voice was unmistakable.

" _Pfft!_ I was ' _crystal'_ clear," Ino felt really pleased with herself over her own air quotes, "…when I accepted this mission that my loyalties stay with-." She blinked and the kunai that once rent the eatery table was now a centimeter from piercing her throat. She hadn't even seen the weapon shift position and Ino found that extremely nerve-wracking.

"I warned you what I'd do if you hurt him for that piece of shit Uchiha, didn't I?" The girl didn't answer but she didn't have to. They both remembered the older woman's threat.

"After all he's done for you, after everything he's shared with you… _things that were supposed to be_ …" She wanted to scream out, _'things that were meant for me'_ but it was too late for that now and the snake summoner's rage briefly had a new target, an older one with age spots and glasses covering rheumy eyes before her attention was brutally brought back to the victim at hand.

' _That's it! Gut her! Rip her tits off, bronze them, and mount them to your trophy wall!'_ the supposed angel screeched.

' _We don't have a trophy wall, baka!'_

' _Start one with her body parts!'_ It sounded so straight forward coming from the angry chibi.

The real Anko found it hard not to take her hate-filled eyes off the younger woman she was threatening with a lethal ninja tool but the chibi devil did. Anko could see the darker figure in her periphery lean forward and throw a worrying glance to the supposed better half of Anko's psyche, the _superego_. Briefly, and not for the first time, she wondered if she even had a moral compass.

"You do this, you smash his heart for that pink-eyed bastard, and I'll skin you alive, Yamanaka." It was delivered with no outward emotion, a sibilant hiss through clenched teeth. Ino glanced nervously to the pointed weapon still hovering next to her throat but when she looked back up to the angry killer leaning over the table, all she saw was swirling wind and leaves.

The young Yamanaka dropped her partially eaten dango skewer onto the largely untouched plate and shakily walked from the eatery, not stopping until she passed through the shop front and into her father's incredibly confused arms. It was then that her willpower gave way releasing the built-up stress, fear, frustration, and anger in the form of hot tears.

Neither saw the puff of chakra smoke wafting up from the roof of the dango vendor, the perfect place to watch the hotel across the street hosting the newly arrived Kusa Genin teams.

~III~

 **~ Later that Same Night in the Hokage's Office, Konohagakure no Sato ~**

Hiruzen took his time re-packing his pipe bowl as he considered his student's griping. A shinobi's life wasn't easy and Jiraiya had been doing it for a fairly long time, that single fact in and of itself a testament to his not inconsiderable prowess as a shinobi. There were two statistical anomalies sitting in the same room in a field where the average life expectancy topped out in the mid-twenties, not fifties, sixties or seventies. The younger man sitting across from him gave Hiruzen hope, even if he was a hopeless pervert of the worst kind.

' _Damn good writer though.'_

He chuckled while raking his still sharp eyes over the slouching body of his former student. "You're looking particularly ragged this evening, Jiraiya." If anything, the white-haired sage sagged just a tiny bit further in his seat.

"It's all your fault, sensei!" The master snorted even as he brought mellow flames to fragrant leaves at the tips of his fingers. "Not funny! You try being zapped around the nation while they kept their beady eyes on that slimy bastard! It was exhausting." Jiraiya tried to pout harder than he already was. "I'm not sure what information Hisa-san passed on that needed me to cut off Danzō _before_ he got to the Land of Iron, but it was, to quote the Nara heir, _troublesome_ to pull off this ambush at the last minute."

Hiruzen had very little sympathy and it showed in the condescending stare he shot back. "And the end result?" Hiruzen queried only to receive the bouncing roll of parchment between the "In" and "Out" stacks of paperwork he so loathed with every fiber of his being. His eyebrow quirked questioningly.

"He's in there… both pieces of him."

The Sandaime grimaced briefly before acknowledging the job well done with a curt nod. "The bounty will be credited to your estate, per the usual. The henchmen?"

Jiraiya stalled his response with a leisurely stretch once he realized that Konoha's spymaster wasn't going to be clued in on what his own spy had turned up necessitating Danzō's rapid liquidation, his lips smacking brazenly. "Already delivered to Ibiki's tender loving care and good riddance I say."

"Good, good." The older of the two took several deep puffs of his pipe and seemed to deflate. He would need to sanction an assault mission in tandem with Iron Country samurai in order to eliminate the secondary base Danzō maintained that far north. It would not due to sour the water with Mifune over rogue nin holed up in his territory any time soon.

"What of Tsunade then? Will she help us?"

At this, Jiraiya's cheeks puffed up releasing a lungful of air in one powerful gust, his face convulsing into an involuntary grimace. "She is withholding everything other than supporting the hospital, both her and Shizune. She wants to test him personally before she'll commit to more." The serious look in Jiraiya's eyes told the rest of the story; there was a lot of pain creeping around in the Slug Princess's closet, the abandonment of her son, and now grandson, bubbling to the surface at a very uncomfortable time.

How to unpack it all and begin the healing process Jiraiya knew was beyond the old man given the late hour. She wasn't the only one to lose loved ones, not by a long shot, but she had been the spoiled baby of very powerful shinobi that indulged her infantile temper leaving him to pick up the pieces. The exhausted Hokage by no means considered the rude awakening provided by the quick Nara an open and shut case, no way in hell. It would take more work to crack Tsunade's armor and he was running out of time to work on it. He could only hope Konoha had the resources to set her on the right track if things went sideways in the upcoming battle despite his sensei's reproving adage that, _'Hope was never a sure plan.'_

He'd have to lay that puzzle to the side for just another night and sleep on it. Glancing up to see his one semi-reliable student dozing off in one of his office chairs, the old monkey figured they could both use a rest and a fresh start tomorrow.

"Get some sleep, Jiraiya. I'm going to need you in top form during the exams." Almost reflexively he raised a palm to forestall the Sannin's petulant wrath. "You and I both know that your _research_ can wait until after. You are needed here." The hard glint in the Hokage's eyes halted more whining in its tracks.

"Get some rest and be back here in three days. We have much to discuss concerning your Godson."

With a very childish whine, the white-haired sage rose from his horrible posture and laboriously climbed out the same window he'd climbed in for the last twenty years.

~III~

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Market District ~**

~*0*~

 _Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie._ _~Miyamoto Musashi_

~*0*~

Konoha at night, so long as their one and only festival wasn't in full swing, was a sedate affair. Nights were generally mild year-round, even in the winter, as the pervading weather. Anyone over the age of ten could perhaps remember two or three years where it actually snowed, and even those momentary distractions lasted little more than a week or two before melting into slush.

It had something to do with a number of geographical factors cataloged in the back of Naruto's brain, however, at the moment he gave absolutely no shits.

No, sitting idly at his favorite Ichiraku barstool was about the only thing he gave a shit about and it showed on his face clearly to his adopted second sister if to no one else.

Ayame's concerned peeks in his direction didn't do much to rouse him from his sudden bout of lethargy, his hands robotically stirring the tepid bowl with worn chopsticks tinted brown by the long-cooled miso broth. His eyes were still locked onto something she couldn't see, his once vibrant blue orbs dulled and unfocused. If it weren't for her father's firm noodle-kneading grip on her shoulder, she'd have been across the counter both hands a-slapping away at the unnecessarily somber Genin. It was not his way and, to be bluntly upfront about it, he'd been through enough crap in his life and she didn't think he deserved to wallow in much more of it.

He was finally a shinobi. He'd earned the respect of a growing number of other shinobi throughout the village, if their marginally increased rate of business to the lethal percentage of Konoha's population was any indication. Ayame was still unsure if Shizuka-sama's attention was a good thing but the jury was still out… for now. Still, The Daimyo of Snow, who just happened to be a famous actress, was also hot for him (she knew, she'd seen the hand-signed picture of the woman swapping lipstick with his cheek to prove it) and you couldn't beat that honestly. And don't get her started on his new status as an ambassador to the long-lost Land of Whirlpools.

So, why for the love of Kami was he sitting there like his life was over? She couldn't for the life of her understand why. Unfortunately, she couldn't afford to dwell on it much longer as three nin stepped under the flaps and into the stand proper, their conversation wrinkling her petite brows in displeasure.

~*0*~

"I don't get why you feel the urge to eat piss-water soup now," the larger of the three groused at their lone kunoichi as she plopped down onto a barstool next to the hunched back of a guy that looked awfully familiar from behind.

"It's not nice to insult other people's food, Ikeda. They might actually piss in it for you."

Ayame, from her position behind the bar, could see the standing youth's face scrunch up in annoyance. She had no idea of their history nor of the fact that the pretty redhead sitting next to her younger "brother" hated her teammates and made it a habit not to get personal with them opting for the formal last name and a very stiff shoulder. Using someone as your personal medical chew toy after murdering their mother and sole surviving family member tended to do that to people. His response also proved to sour her mood further almost to the point of taking up the other female's suggestion, no matter how unprofessional it would be.

"Hnh, might be an improvement."

This Shigeri wasn't overly large but he was tallest of the three and lean like a long-distance runner. "Just hurry it up Uz-," his eyes darted to the three other people in the stand and quickly labeled them as non-threatening, "…just hurry it up so we can get a good night's rest."

With Hari-kun taking the stool to her right, that left him nowhere close to be at hand. With a grunt, Shigeri turned his eyes to the admittedly wider back of the nin budged up to the bar and decided he'd stared off into space long enough.

"Oi! Time to give up the seat bud. Stopping crying in your bowl and hike it over!"

Surprisingly, the golden shock of hair didn't move.

"OI! Didn't you hear me Konoha trash?!" He reached forward and tapped the sullen figure on the shoulder once attempting to intimidate the youth.

Karin and Hari both looked over at the sullen face of her neighbor, a face that had been gradually coming back to life with the crass conversation around him, a face with brows knitting up as he turned to look over his right shoulder, pausing briefly on Karin's crimson orbs, before sliding off her face to lock up with the lean youth at his back.

Karin and Hari both shivered when that gaze slid past them, a sensation that hit Shigeri full-on making his right knee buckle momentarily before he could channel chakra to reinforce it. It also happened to make Karin's face flush a bright pink.

Once the blond with the impossibly blue eyes met his gaze, one hand resting on his right thigh with the chopsticks fisted in said hand, he stopped moving and stared. Simply stared.

Then the pressure began to build, Shigeri's shiver turning into a full case of the chills. Still, he stared but didn't move. He didn't blink or speak or breathe, from the looks of it. He just stared. What Shigeri found to be worse was that the longer his blond squatter stared the worse became that smothering sensation of pressure and hatred. It felt like his chest was being crushed by an enormous hand squeezing his upper body. That oppression then led to the gruesome images of Shigeri's death becoming increasingly graphic in nature, some involving the rather violent removal of his reproductive organs right before they were apparently shoved down his throat.

Now, the Kusa outsider was no stranger to KI. Exposure began for Kusa shinobi in the academy to build resistance, a practice carried on by their senseis as they fought their way up the ranks. Shigeri, now staring blankly into the angry blue storms this Konoha bum called eyes, couldn't look away and couldn't push back enough to make it stop. He'd tried to push his on meager KI back against the growing wall of angry energy making his entire body break out into cold sweats and idly thought uprooting one of those massive trees beyond this village's gates with his bare hands might have given him more success. Instead, he stood there and shivered as image after image of his own gruesome death, each more horrific than the last, flashed continuously before his eyes even as the red haze began to encroach on the edges of his vision.

When the still silent monster of a Genin broke eye contact and turned back to stirring his broth-filled bowl as if nothing had happened, Shigeri passed out on the floor of the small ramen stand and everyone else turned away to ignore him while they ate in peace.

The two Chunin Kunoichi watching silently from across the street noticed the growing spot of darkness on the crotch of the floored Genin and chuckled to each other. That would keep them entertained all the way back to Kusa if the team survived to the third stage of the exam.

The blond left after another ten minutes giving him just enough time to nod peacefully to the gob-smacked Kusa nins sharing the bar with him and stepped casually over the still unconscious blasphemer to Ichiraku's.

As his feet cleared the stand's perimeter, he vanished in a whirl of wind and leaves much to Hari's stunned surprise. Hari was so surprised, he failed to see the grin on Karin's face blossom into a full smile.

Ayame didn't, and she frowned wondering why so many females were suddenly interested in her adopted brother.

~*0*~

When the ferret-faced ANBU assigned with following Genin Uzumaki came out of his body flicker, he found himself standing in the middle of an empty intersection leading to the southwestern clan district. It was late and this part of town was definitely not on Uzumaki's normal wanderings since the destruction of his old apartment. It wouldn't have mattered anyway as the slums were in the southeastern part of the village, making a stop near the Hyūga Compound a bit suspicious considering the hour. _Kenagaitachi_ , being the consummate professional that he was, sighed through the truncated hole that passed for a mouth on his mask and did his due diligence attempting to check over several of the nearby clan walls just to be safe.

To be sure, it was an effort in futility revealing nothing of use. This wasn't the first time the renegade Uzumaki had lost the fresh ANBU agent and, with a heaving sigh of frustration, _Ferret_ conceded that it wouldn't be the last. He hadn't mastered his chakra sensing training yet, far from it to be honest, and that meant another tongue lashing from _Tora_ -taichou. _'Oh, goodie.'_ It was like the Captain was losing money every time a shadow lost the ANBU initiate.

This time he groaned.

' _Well, no other options left at this point.'_ Glancing about one last time, the silent gargoyle padded off to question the branch member security guards _yet again_ pondering why the Genin's trail splintered off into three different directions.

So lost in his own future torment was poor _Ferret_ that he missed the chuckling blond fading into view atop one of the newer clan compound walls directly behind him.

~*0*~

Three days R&R was standard following A-Rank and below missions, three days that Naruto clearly took very seriously making himself scarce from his entire academy year group, much to Shikamaru's ongoing annoyance. For those three days, each and every single one, Shikamaru found himself fending off the increasingly worried queries of his female teammate asking if he'd seen their wayward third member. Despite the very earnest glares sent her way from his favorite cloud watching hillock in the Nara herd pastures aside his trusty sidekick, Choji the Ravenous, this troublesome woman seemed incapable of understanding that he simply did not care. So, as he lay there, his left eyebrow twitching in barely contained aggravation, Shikamaru was beginning to wonder what extreme measures he could employ, short of maiming or injuring the constantly jabbering woman, to make her go away.

When she instead flopped down on the perfectly tended patch of grass beneath a clear Konoha sky, Shikamaru began dredging up and rapidly discarding some of his more risqué Ino defense plans hoping that she'd shut up long enough to get the hint.

For three days, he remained disappointed at her obtuse personality. For the first time in his life, Shikamaru was beginning to think doing his long-avoided chores might, just maybe, have been less trouble than dealing with his emotionally fragile teammate.

' _Wherever you are, Naruto, I hope you realize how much you owe me for this.'_ With one final glance at the tormented face of his fellow kunoichi, the flustered Nara heir rose up from his reclined position and stomped off to his home with a final wave to his Akimichi partner in crime.

For her part, Ino huffed off once Choji waved a polite farewell not ten seconds later. Her sensei absolutely did not care about her personal life and that left only her former friend, Sakura. Swallowing that bitter pill, the platinum blond began the humiliating trek back across Konoha losing herself in a world of worry. It was in this world of inner turmoil that she found herself stuck behind a veritable wall of people as they lined the main artery leading into the Market District of Konoha.

Peeking over the shoulders of the shortest batch of people she could find, she found herself cursing angrily under her breath, so much so that a clearly disturbed mother of two small children slapped her palms over their burning ears and promptly shuffled them off to have a conversation about naughty words and what not to say in public.

There, sniping cattily with the still-new Daimyo of Snow Country, was the Nadeshiko princess, Shizuka of the Unnecessarily Big Boobs, as they strolled leisurely towards the Hokage Tower, not a care in the world. As her growing sense of insecurity reached critical mass, Ino Yamanaka summed up her roiling mass of emotions in a single vulgar thought.

' _Well, shit.'_

~*0*~

Thursday morning found a bleary-eyed Uzumaki being herded into the shower by a cheery-faced Yuki. Despite being half-awake following three peaceful days in seclusion, he was cognizant enough to keep his pajamas on long enough to push the helpful female out of the bathroom so that he could shower in peace.

Morning ablutions complete he padded heavily, all pretenses at stealth first thing in the morning long gone, into his room trying to ignore the merry humming coming from his persistent assistant. _'She probably remembers that I can hear her wolf-whistling in there…'_

Finally dressed and seated to a big breakfast, the two chatted quietly about the upcoming exams and how she'd seen a team from Mizugakure prowling around during her Wednesday trip to the market, Haku's slender features suddenly very serious. Naruto, for his part, nodded once around a mouth full of eggs promising to be careful especially if one of them belonged to the Seven Swordsmen. He knew only the bare minimum of kenjutsu from whatever scrolls he could pirate from the Genin section of the library and that meant he'd be no challenge whatsoever.

A part of him almost wished he could have rescued Zabuza's sword from Nami just to tweak their noses, a comment he jokingly made out loud accompanied by several shoulder bouncing chuckles. It was at that moment that a sudden fire in Haku's normally docile eyes slowly strangled off his good humor right before Haku slid out of her chair, walked around to face him square on, then prostrated herself on the floor.

When he reached down to pick her up, he instead froze in place once she swore to serve him until death if he would liberate her master's sword from the thief that filched it from the head of Zabuza-sama's grave, a blue-skinned thief with pointed teeth now in Konoha with his Genin team for the exams.

Naruto blinked, then he swore softly, but Haku didn't rise until he promised to do all he could to properly recover the memento having no idea how that would go over with the Mizu delegation or his Hokage once he created an international incident. _'Didn't the sword belong to the Mist to begin with?'_

While they cleaned dishes in comfortable silence, Naruto cut loose a clone to fetch his bracers, punch knives, and a single thigh pouch for scrolls. Today was just a team meeting, true, but he'd need to deal with his teammates, and, for some reason, he figured that would be worse than a C-ranked to Nami. Oh well, he'd have to make do with it for now. His goal was getting through the exams in one piece.

Stepping out into the well-polished wooden floor of his entryway, Naruto slapped on his comfortable black sandals to match the ANBU-styled trousers and sleeveless shirt, the armor mesh of his undershirt stopping halfway down his biceps. Tugging at the ties to his forehead protector, he paused long enough to wave goodbye to Haku before stepping outside of the modest two-story home he "inherited" with Mizuki's defeat; the Hokage finally pushed the Conquest paperwork through the damnable Council, or so he said.

It was one of the few good reasons why the Hokage needed to talk with him upon their return from Hanikamu; Mizuki was the last of his clan, just like Naruto.

Rights of Conquest were a double-edged nodachi but he wasn't complaining at the moment. With a brief push of chakra from his fingertips, he relocked the front door and glanced out over the heavily wooded area that made up his small lot of property nestled snugly between the old Hatake estate to the north, one of the current Konoha PD satellite stations to the east, and the Aburame Clan Compound to the south. It wasn't a huge lot as a clan compound went, especially when compared to most of the major clans (the Hirayoshi Clan wasn't big or powerful begin with and suffered further from declining numbers since the Second Shinobi War) boasting a small training plot in the back yard and a four-person onsen open to the night sky, but it was comfortably situated and could house five or six without undue hardship. Furthermore, the extinct clan didn't even provide much to Konoha's development other than their talent for traps, most notably puzzle traps. Mizuki's fondness for Fuma shuriken didn't even originate from his clan but from their family rival, the Fuma Clan, now defunct since the Kyūbi assault fifteen years ago.

No, what they lacked in notoriety they more than made up for in devious tactics (they were notorious in the Sapper Brigade), something Mizuki never really excelled at making him a bit of a family disappointment. More the pity that his family line ended with him making the clan's modest home and quarter acre of land in a heavily wooded section of Konoha now the property of one proudly beaming Uzumaki heir.

Hiding in plain sight, Naruto faded from view using his godfather's signature peeping jutsu and leaped over the nearest wall of his small compound to begin his trek Training Ground Ten and the team that used it.

He was not looking forward to the reunion.

~*0*~

The walk to Training Area Ten was peaceful, Naruto arriving just before their normal zero-eight start time. Mizuki's family home also afforded him an almost direct route to the worn field, his path wending well clear of the Thursday morning bustle of the Market District. The air was clear, the birds were singing, and he was enjoying the warming rays trying to cook away the brisk morning nip in the air. The morning felt good. It felt right. It felt good just to _be_.

That lasted until their normal training field came into view and he knew everything was going to turn to crap.

"NARUTO!"

Naruto hated it when he was right. Well, not always just when it involved irate women. An angry woman was a force of nature unto herself. Forget gaining a ledge in trying to defend yourself; every syllable becomes contentious and every counterargument a reason to become hostile. This tends to be the case more so when the woman, in particular, enjoys employment in your field of violent specialty so he did what he could to de-escalate the upcoming confrontation by stuffing his hands into his pockets and squaring his shoulders.

"Where have you BEEN?!" Ino's voice was raw, almost as charged as the pent-up energy hunching her back and turning her hands into claws.

She stared. He stared. There was lots of staring but not much talking at that point, the growing silence adding to the growing sense of dread.

Shikamaru, trying to quietly stay off to the side and focused on the peaceful clouds above his head rolled said head just enough to see the impending brouhaha. If he didn't know better, that was steamrolling off the angry girl's shoulders and, with a muffled grunt, the Nara heir thought better of getting involved as he rolled his neck around so that he could pick another cloud to analyze.

His actions did little to help ease anything, especially when Naruto, after a few choice moments to consider his options, opened his mouth to spit out a single word.

"Thinking."

When Asuma arrived two minutes later, promptly at the top of the hour per his custom, he arrived to a still laid out Shikamaru and a full-on streetfight between his other two students. The cigarette in his mouth fell out to bounce off of one well-heeled sandal, his mind trying to process the knock-down, drag-out scuffle turning into a furball of fists, feet, and the occasional kunai, all of which belonged or were attached to a livid Ino Yamanaka.

"Shika!" he barked out.

"Hnh?" Asuma took a chance and flicked his eyes to confirm the lazy bastard hadn't moved.

"How long have they been going at it?"

"Not long," came the unemotional response.

"Hnh." Asuma flicked his eyes back to the two lovers going all out to maim each other. _'Ouch, those were going to leave bruises on both of them.'_ "Shika."

This time the older nin's voice carried a tone of authority that forced the unengaged nin to sigh heavily and mutter his favorite word with utter disdain. His hands flew together almost lazily before his shadow shot out from beneath the shade of leaves keeping him cool. The end result was predictable as the competitors froze mid-lung-punch-kick providing both non-contestants with their first full look of the other two.

"Someone want to explain to me why I'm about to rescind this team's recommendation to the Chunin Exams?"

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Family Reunion**_

The Uzumaki Lottery was effectively underway with the bewildered blond, plus his entire clan estate, being the grand (and sole) prize.

Standing against the wall behind the Hokage, three powerful shinobi resisted the urge to lay waste to the entire civilian Council. Anko wept silently even as her teeth ground painfully together.

Beneath her mask, Keina Uzumaki cursed everyone and everything in the village, her tears hidden from everyone around her, as she flickered away appearing inside the once-abandoned home of her deceased sister and brother-in-law. There she tore the ANBU mask from her face, collapsed to the floor, then vented her tears free from the greedy people and cowardly shinobi she'd sworn to protect in the name of her beloved nephew.

How long she sat sprawled there as the tears streamed down her face, she would never be able to recall but a familiar burning on her left forearm snapped her from her melancholy.

Swiping the tracks from her face with a sleeved arm, she then yanked the sleeve back and away to reveal a spiral tattoo with seven tails, each one formed out of chain-links with a number etched in the center of each link, each chain linked to a center ring with the kanji for Uzushio in the center. Her eyes narrowed at first in anger then in confusion as the link holding the number one was glowing a solid red, the second link holding the number two beginning to pulse shortly thereafter. She gasped and leaped from the floor and into a corner just as the front door opened and closed with a gentle click.

She dared not breathe.

Into the still dark living room walked her nephew, the blond-haired Genin glancing about the central sitting area as he took in the pristine surroundings. Her eyes took in his calm posture, the deep blue eyes that reminded her of that older blond bastard, and the handsome features that mirrored her own so well. She almost broke then, almost stepped from the shadows before she realized her face was bare, a hand coming up to touch her cheeks as her eyes shot to the carpet where her mask and balaclava lay just two paces from the boy's feet.

When he turned away to glance at the far side of the room, she nearly darted from the shadows thinking she could make it and flash away before he noticed her. She dropped that notion almost immediately as her scarlet bangs fluttered in front of her face. No matter how fast she moved, his eyes were keen enough to pick up the red streak her hair would leave behind, and she suppressed a groan.

When he walked directly over to her discarded mask and hefted it into the air showing he knew exactly who it belonged to, she swore like a sailor (all in her head of course).

"Come out, _Dragon_ , and explain to me why you're hiding out in my ancestral home before I report this to the Hokage and bring you up on theft of clan property," he challenged, the mask disappearing as he sealed it into a mark on his right forearm.

She cursed… inwardly.

Knowing the jig was finally up, the still emotionally wrecked woman briefly considered fleeing to face the Hokage rather than dealing with her angry nephew. In the end, she chose to face the horrible music before stepping out of the shadows as the boy's glowing eyes flickered to her form, his eyes growing enormous in the dark.

"Hey Sochi," she called out wearily. "It's gonna be hard accusing your aunt of stealing from your clan." A heavy thud was the boy's only answer as Naruto landed flat on his back, out like a light, and it was enough to make her blink in surprise.

' _Hnh, that went well.'_ With a sigh, she walked over to his prone body to pull his head and shoulders into her lap. She would stay as long as it took to see this through seeing as they would have much to talk about once he came around. Well, once they worked through his anger.

She had a feeling there would be lots of that as she began running her fingers through his incredibly soft hair.

~III~


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** A brief moment to recognize the thoughts and comments to a few dedicated readers… (you stuck with this story for this long and that makes anyone dedicated). Thank you all.

 **Reaping Shadow, Mangolyfe, & Killa Bee 8:** Thank you for the positive feedback. It is always appreciated. Shadow: I sent a reply to your PM on the Ino/Naru rift (but tried not to spoil the story for you).

 **K1B4ND:** There is a lot going on behind the deep blue eyes. Things are about to get very busy for the Uzu heir.

 **Thor94:** I can't say much about your review and NOT spoil what's coming up in the story. Hang in and let's see how it all turns out.

 **Tigrezztail:** Ino's affections started because of a mission. Are they something real? Only time will tell.

 **Pop2699:** Nope, you didn't miss anything. Lots of dirt is being discovered at this point in the story.

 **Dancingrage:** Thank are readers that don't have the patience for the whole "Shadow Game," as you put it, but isn't that what being a shinobi is all about? I would like to think my use of it is improving so I am thankful to hear that you like the style of writing.

 **BlackDragonShinigami:** All will be made clear as mud in this chapter.

 **777torn777 & BJJF691:** Thank you for hanging in with me. More is on the way after this, promise!

 **Plums:** You assume that Naruto is going to get screwed over. All I can say (like I quoted to someone else before), is that deception is a shinobi's best tool. Never assume he's out of the fight until you see his cooling corpse.

Let's continue on with the Chunin Exams, shall we?

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

 **P.S.:** You'll want to read the "Previously On Nore More" section to find out more about Ino's seduction mission and how she got it.

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 36: Enter the Chunin Exams – Part I**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More (Afternoon After Team Ten's First Real Meeting - Nearly a Year Before Present Day) ~**

 _Ino walked away from that first day of real team bonding more confused than when she started it two days previous. Naruto Uzumaki was even more of a puzzle but to be bold enough to claim relation to a noble clan of shinobi, a royal clan no less?! He had to have more than a few bolts loose in that banana yellow rock sitting atop his shoulders. The_ baka _probably didn't even know it was a capital offense, not that she'd rat him out. That was Asuma-sensei's job now._

 _She absently nodded to the fine folks of Konoha, both the title and the shiny belt buckle making her smile brighter, as they greeted her along her familiar delivery route. Glancing down to the vase in her hands to make sure there were no imperfections, Ino's bright eyes shot up to greet the tall figures wrapped in white outside the door to Councilwoman Utatane's office. A curt nod followed by a short, "Agent 115," saw her past the heavy wooden door and into the comfortably lit room beyond that smelled of polished cherry wood and mild incense._

 _The closing of a book near the large bay window across from the mostly barren desk distracted her from the obvious lack of paperwork, her eyes drawn automatically to the sound made by the wrinkled woman reading by the light of day. Dropping the vase on the shelf, pocketing the envelope with small bills, and hefting the former collection of wilted pansies being replaced, Ino turned to leave as quietly as she arrived._

" _So, young Yamanaka." She paused to address the soft-spoken elder despite her growing sense of unease. "I would like to know your impressions from today's activities." It was not a request._

" _There's not a whole lot to say at this point other than what I shared with you after our first tragic meeting." Koharu nodded but her sharp eyes never left the young kunoichi._

" _He's stronger than I thought he'd be, much stronger to be honest. It shouldn't be possible to change so much in just a week, especially not for the dead-last of my class." Ino chewed her lower lip thoughtfully as she weighed her next words._

" _Is that all? I was hoping for a more detailed type of report, something akin to the standard format I_ know _they trained you in at the academy."_

 _The old woman's tone was strict and no-nonsense jerking Ino out of her casual frame of mind, her shoulders squaring up as her voice lost all sense of familiarity._

" _Naruto Uzumaki is a promising ground fighter that specializes in Bukijutsu, as discovered during his initial conflict with Asuma-sensei. It is clear that he harbors enormous chakra reserves given his facility with Shadow Clones. It's also clear that he still harbors great mistrust of not only our sensei but our entire team, this substantiated by his refusal to share lunch today when provided by our instructor as a form of team bonding. Subject's desire to self-isolate does not fully hint at symptoms of APD but does present symptoms of some early form of psychological abuse or trauma. His trust will be difficult to obtain."_

 _Here the older nin brought her to a brief halt with a quick, "APD?"_

" _Sorry, Antisocial Personality Disorder. Meaning he has little to zero inhibitions when it comes to displaying hostile or violent tendencies towards others often leading to the violation of the rights of others without fear of consequence. In other words, he would show zero regards for the societal norms of 'Right and Wrong' so long as he felt justified in being violent."_

 _Koharu nodded and Ino continued on smartly._

" _Subject did display a radical shift in what was deemed his primary goal in life, that being becoming Hokage."_

" _Oh? Please explain." The Councilwoman shifted the book in her lap to accommodate both hands. Ino absently noted it was a translated copy of "The Count of Monte Cristo."_

" _Subject simply stated that he feels isolated and hated by the vast majority of the populace and that he no longer wanted the job. Subject has changed focus to becoming accepted by ANBU, specifically the covert wetwork elite referred to as ANBU Black."_

 _Koharu sat for several minutes and stewed on the revelation. In fact, she sat long enough for Ino to angst over whether or not to reveal the Uzumaki Clan claim by her teammate, decide that it wasn't important (yet), then wonder if the older woman had dozed off._

" _Councilwoman?" Nothing. "Councilwoman Utatane?" she asked a bit louder, jostling the woman from her daze._

" _This will not do," the aging kunoichi whispered almost to herself. "This simply will not do at all." The older woman's beady little eyes opened up just enough that Ino could see their soulless centers sparkle while sizing her up, making her spine shiver._

" _Councilwoman, I don't-."_

" _It is not important for you to understand at the moment. Your analysis is remarkable. You do your family proud." Ino didn't have time to preen before the old woman shattered her entire world._

" _We need to change your mission slightly as previously discussed when I assigned you this important task. You will be compensated for the previous mission assignment, of course."_

 _Ino was floored, her mouth going dry almost instantly._

" _Wait, I'm not a trained Injutsu expert. You can't expect me to-!"_

" _I can and I do. You are a kunoichi of Konoha now and fall under the Council's jurisdiction." The old woman was hoping that the young nin was too far offended to catch her slight unofficial modification to the girl's chain of command. She was not to be disappointed in the self-professed Uchiha lover._

 _Ino immediately bristled, all professionalism long gone. "I am focused on the Uchiha Clan heir, not some Uzumaki pretender with delusions of grandeur!"_

" _Oh, he learned about his heritage, did he?"_

 _Ino gaped and sputtered for a half-second but she was always quick on her feet mentally, mostly. "You mean HE'S NOT LYING?!"_

" _Control yourself and lower your tone, girl." Ino's jaw clicked closed like a trap door. "Of course, he is the sole surviving Uzumaki, that we are aware of."_

" _That still doesn't change the fact that I am_ NOT _a Chunin and,_ by Konoha law, _cannot accept a seduction mission!"_

 _Koharu rose gracefully from her seat without assistance from her cane resting near the window and paced to stand before the smaller female, an action that forced an involuntary step in retreat for the young Yamanaka._

" _You would rather the single greatest weapon of this village flee to another? A more willing hidden village that would seduce him with promises of more willing women, power and respect?"_

" _NARUTO?! He is a JOKE of a shinobi!" Ino was clearly irate, her growing anger taking over her rapidly fading fear. It still sputtered once the older woman continued speaking in that annoyingly soft tone dripping with malice._

" _Oh, he may seem that way, but didn't you say that his armed combat skill surprised you?" Ino goggled but the older woman soldiered on. "Who is to say that he didn't hide other skills from us all? You do know what the Uzumaki Clan was famous for, don't you?"_

 _Ino nodded mutely before rote memorization took over. "Fear for their mastery in Fūinjutsu, Ninjutsu, and Kenjutsu, the Uzumaki Clan was one of the great Three responsible for the founding of Konoha near the end of the Warring States period despite refusing to settle here." Even as she spoke them, the words left ash in her mouth. "They were so feared for their prowess that three major villages banded together to destroy them during the second shinobi war. It is because of their loyalty and strength that we wear their symbol as part of our uniforms to this day." Her fingers numbly reached up to brush the swirl on the plate she used as a fashionable belt buckle decoration making her wince briefly._

" _The boy's education was hampered in the academy by jealous fools but imagine if he'd been helped as much as any of you were. Imagine how powerful he'd be today." Koharu's words were like an unwanted rain shower on an already muggy day and it made cold sweat trickle down the spine of Ino's back._

" _So, as I said before, we'll be… altering… your current mission._ YES, _I realize you are not trained in seduction but I'm not asking you to sleep with him. All you need do is become his friend. Get… close… to the boy and win his loyalty. The Uzumaki were famed for it for a reason and young Naruto has demonstrated that trait in spades since his youth. Befriend him and he will love you for life, what's left of it."_

" _Mitarashi." The name came almost unbidden to the young blond but her father, much like his seemingly unimportant lessons about the curriculum-omitted Uzumaki Clan, had more than once conversed with her mother about the odd relationship between his apprentice interrogator and the unwanted orphan. Koharu offered a short nod to accompany the decidedly unfriendly smile at the corner of her wrinkled mouth._

" _Like I was trying to say, we'll need to alter your mission. You'll still make monthly reports to me, but you'll meet three times a week with Anko Mitarashi, as it should raise no eyebrows since your family is already familiar with her. Never fear, another is already speaking with her at this very moment and she will become your mission handler moving forward." The smile turned into an evil grin Ino decided she hated very much._

" _Here's what I'll need you to do specifically…"_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Training Area Ten ~**

* * *

~*0*~

"' _Tis in my memory locked, and you yourself shall keep the key of it."_

~William Shakespeare

~*0*~

 _Day Before the Exams, Present Day_

What Asuma heard had his jaw hanging wide open and his mind screaming for answers. "Say… that _again_ , Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes, normally so full of life and sparkling like the choppy waves of the northern bay on a clear day were dark, murky, and entirely unwelcoming. Getting them calm enough to stop murdering each other was fairly easy once an authority figure broke them apart, with a little help from the body-snatching Nara. That's about as far as the truce went and the Jounin had to marvel at the way the anger fled from the kunoichi's body like a deflating child's balloon. She tried righteous indignity only to have her second wind snatched out from under her with Naruto's next rebuttal.

"Whoever set up the Olive Branch as the place for housing village guests had a brilliant idea. They were really on to something."

Giving the atmosphere such a simple phrase was spoken into, it produced three very confused people. The almost placid look on his slightly bruised face, the mild yellowing of his left cheek fading to a dull tan right before their eyes.

"Is everyone calm enough to talk without killing each other?" Asuma followed up the question with directed looks to both blonds holding each until an affirming nod answered his query. With a silent command to Shika, Ino and Naruto both enjoyed the full return of their freedom of movement.

"Now, what does Konoha's biggest hotel have to do with Ino trying to ventilate your spleen, Naruto?"

The target of everyone's confused attention stepped back and away to lean on the nearest tree, his eyes never leaving his now homicidal girlfriend even as the lean muscles of his arms folded across his chest. Despite her confused rage, Ino still fostered a mild rosette hue to her cheeks even after noticing how he refused to relax his guard.

"It's a great place really, located in the perfect chunk of land near Konoha's heart. It's a stone's throw from the stadium, easily reached by everyone from the clans to the little people." The confusion was beginning to turn into concern, his two teammates glancing nervously to each other trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"For a down to earth shinobi like me tasked with keeping an eye on the Kusa teams while they wander around, there are any number of places where a guy could take his rest and have a bird's eye view of the hotel lobby." Ino's rage was beginning to die a slow death to be replaced by another emotion she hated: worry.

"But… but you were briefing the Hokage," Ino sputtered out weakly trying to interject logic in a world of shadow clones. Naruto continued on as if he hadn't heard her.

"Ichiraku's doesn't work because you'll only get a view of the rear wall but there are lots of shops and stalls on two sides. Michigumi's Hardware has a good solid two stories if you, or one of your clones (here he threw a pointed glare in Ino's direction), need to get high above the crowd." He noticed Ino's eyes growing uncomfortably large as she reached the same conclusion.

"The Dango Stop is good when they want a sweet treat but want to stay 'amongst it all,' so to speak." With a slight puff of chakra, two shadow clones flickered into being and glared angrily at the stunningly sexy kunoichi, an act that made her flinch heavily.

"Naruto, what-." Ino's question never saw the light of day as a perfect copy of Anko Mitarashi and Ino Yamanaka materialized through two more puffs of [ _Henge_ ] smoke. When they started reenacting her tableside chat with the angry Tokujo, Ino wanted to shrink to the size of a mouse and slink away but there was no hiding from this. Instead, she found a spot in front of her feet and tried to mentally will herself into the earth.

Anko Clone: _"I'm not your handler."_

The damnable clones even had the voices right.

Ino Clone: _"But_ they _said-."_

Anko Clone: _"It doesn't matter what_ they _said for your seduction mission._ They _don't run the village. It's only an A-ranked_ _and we're not at war. If it were an_ S-rank _, it would be an entirely different plate of dango, but it's not. I don't have to accept_ their _mission and I haven't."_

"Please stop." Ino's voice was small, not full of her normal bravado.

Anko Clone: _"I was ordered to step aside by_ my _superior and that's all I did. That doesn't make me your accomplice..." Ino was having a hard time focusing on the conversation._

"Please." Ino's voice was barely a whisper this time but it was enough that the clone impersonating her turned to glare at her before delivering the next line almost as if it was meant just for her.

Ino Clone: _"Chickenshit."_

The clones did not let up, however, and the rest of the team bore witness to the rest of their horrific conversation, the next few lines delivered in remarkably accurate pitch and tone.

Ino Clone: _"You claim that you love him but…!"_

Ino's vision was beginning to blur, her legs feeling a bit shaky.

Anko Clone: _"You still planning on abandoning him_ once the exams are over _?!"_

Ino Clone: "Pfft! _I_ was _crystal clear when I accepted this mission that my loyalties stay with-."_

"Don't do this… please." It was a strangled plea from the mind walker for mercy that went unheard.

Anko Clone: "I warned you what I'd do if you hurt him for that piece of shit Uchiha, didn't I?"

Ino couldn't see the harsh glares being sent her way by both her sensei and her affronted teammate. A quick glance to Shika confirmed there'd be no help from that quarter. Before she knew it, Ino was busy backing away slowly, her head down and shaking marginally from side to side.

Anko Clone: _"After all he's done for you, after everything he's shared with you…_ things that were supposed to be…"

At this point, Ino turned and fled the field without looking back as the Anko clone roared the final line to her fleeing back. _"You do this, you smash his heart for that pink-eyed bastard, and I'll skin you alive, Yamanaka!"_

Once the teary kunoichi was beyond sight, the Anko clone viciously sucker-punched the Ino clone into a blotchy cloud of smoke then slung one arm over her creator's shoulder while thumbing her nose in victory. The two then trudged off into the humid Konoha morning.

"Are you involved in this at all, Shikamaru?" The Jounin needed to make sure there were no more surprises waiting to blow up in his face.

"This is beyond troublesome." Asuma glanced over at Shikamaru's understated truth of the moment before grunting out an affirmation and stalking off, remaining team in tow, to pick a bone or three with his father.

~III~

 **~ Office of the Sandaime Hokage ~**

Hiruzen Sarutobi was sitting as his desk stunned into silence.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage, was shocked.

At his son's, and his son's one remaining student's, behest, he deployed two full, heavy combat ANBU squads to retrieve two Genin. One squad led by _Neko_ , per young Shikamaru's request, would be needed to convey the seriousness of the situation to Naruto, otherwise, he wouldn't come peacefully. The other squad was needed to convince Ino's father that her presence was indeed being requested by the Hokage and no, he couldn't protect her under the "angry parent" umbrella to keep his Princess safe from harm.

It didn't matter to the nearly-retired Jounin that his little darling had wormed and weaseled her way into the life of one of his more dangerous patients risking undoing all of his hard work and unleashing the second Kyūbi-geddon on them all. She was still his little girl and fathers, good fathers at least, had an ingrained instinct to protect their little princesses; it was the bad ones that tended to go overboard into manic overkill or murderous rampages.

That, of course, did nothing to appease the scrambling mind of the Sandaime.

Twenty minutes later and he was still sitting gap-jawed at the story just finishing up through the teary-eyed confession of Ino Yamanaka. A quick glance to Shikamaru concluded that they were both in on the problem, both having been assigned long-term B-Rank missions, by the Council at the behest of his now-deceased advisors no less, to observe, coerce, and, if necessary, seduce the Kyūbi jinchūriki previously identified as one Naruto Uzumaki.

The Sandaime was wishing he could kill those two fools a second time.

Glancing over to his favorite Genin, Hiruzen saw the pain in his eyes and the unasked question behind them.

"No, Naruto, I did not authorize this, _ANY_ of this." The words were heartfelt, but the stone-faced youth turned silently to glare at the threatening wall directly across from himself. When Ino opened her mouth to protest in his defense, the old man stopped her with a raised palm and tried to limit the fallout as best he could. They were on the brink of war and he needed _all_ of his soldiers to fight, a heart-crushing thought that nearly forced him to rip the heavy hat from his brow and throw it out the nearest window.

Instead, he buried his feelings of familiarity and donned the official cloak of the Hokage one more time rising to his less than impressive height of one-hundred sixty-three centimeters with a heartfelt hope that the boy would forgive him someday.

"It is a fact of shinobi life that you will work with people you do not wish to, some you may even despise at the moment." All eyes, even Naruto's reluctant ones turned towards the village leader. "They say all pain fades with time. Unfortunately, I cannot give you the time you need to mourn and sort through this mess in order to come to a peaceful resolution as the very safety of our home hangs in the balance." The more he spoke, the more the Kami of Shinobi surged to the fore, his presence draping the room like a heavy blanket. The old man hated forcing the hand of his adopted grandson whom he loved, but the invasion would not give them the peace they needed at the moment. The best he could hope for would be the stress of the exams pushing them back together into an uneasy partnership of sorts.

"I still need the two of you to fulfill the mission you were given during the exams and I need you," here the tired eyes of the Hokage bore into the confused eyes of the Nara heir, "to support them without question."

Shikamaru pushed aside the comment about Konoha at risk for the moment.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Hokage-sama," Shikamaru countered, "but aren't the exams voluntary?"

"Yes, Shikamaru, they are for most Konohans. In this case, these two have been tasked to support a larger plan and I _need_ them to be the professional shinobi and kunoichi I _know_ they can be." The Sandaime held both teens in his unflinching glare until, one by one, the two of concern nodded mutely in obeyance.

"Pops, you can't possibly believe that this will turn out at all okay? We're talking major breach of trust issues. Teams have imploded in non-lethal situations for less!"

If his father heard him, he gave no indication. "Have them fill out the forms, Asuma. I need them in place and on time."

The Hokage turned and stalked calmly back to his chair knowing full well that his well-trained nins would accept the dismissal for what it was. Once they were gone, the air fled his lungs with a heavy sigh even as he reached for the stashed bottle in his desk.

It was for… medicinal purposes, of course.

~III~

It was late and Karin was looking up from her spot on the floor of their adopted meeting room with a very unhappy frown on her face. Behind her, the tiny dining table surrounded by four chairs, played host to the only two other Kunoichi from Kusa almost as if they were her guardian angels.

She fought the urge to huff out loud at the irony; no one in Kusa saw her as more than a handy first aid pack.

In front of her stood, sat, leaned, squatted, or paced the rest of their four-team contingent, the Genin members taking up the far side of the very crowded hotel room to allow the more senior members the more cherished seats of comfort. Unfortunately, her eyes were currently being filled by the overbearing, thick-necked Jounin appointed as lead for this excursion as he tried to impress upon her the importance of her job.

It was even harder to keep a semi-straight face as she stared into the soulless, pupil-less, dark grey eyes of the bastard responsible for ordering the death of her mother as Kusa drained the very soul from her body with their teeth. For that reason, her hatred of the man was absolute as he'd been the sponsor assigned with assimilating them into Kusa's kunoichi culture, his willingness to do whatever it took to help Kusa succeed the primary factor driving them to bleed her dry of chakra leading to her death.

Now Kusa was trying to do the same to her.

Furthermore, Zōsui knew how she felt about him. He just didn't care as he had zero reservations about ordering her to do the same thing for the shinobi with them in the room if it came down to it. He was that much of a zealot and zealots never asked for forgiveness for their actions.

It was one of the reasons why Karin secretly wanted to impale him on her chakra chains someday.

Now, however, was not the time for grand delusions of revenge. Sitting on the posh carpet of their hotel room, Karin was trying to look impressed at the flat nose and slicked-back hair of their leader for the mission as he waved an enlarged picture of a certain blond Genin before her face. That face made her warm inside and that meant she needed to fight the growing urge to smile at his picture.

She absolutely loved those blue eyes of his.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Next Day - Morning of the Chunin Exam, First Phase ~**

The meetup for Team Ten, as Naruto was now calling it in his mind, started off with a quick stumble. Amongst the gaggle of foreign nin ambling to Training Auditorium Two of the Academy, Team Ten assembled just outside the entrance and glared briefly at each other. Well, Naruto glared at his two treacherous teammates while refusing to speak to either of them and, despite her underhandedness, Ino glared back as if she had a fresh boy-related-reason to be angry with him.

Then it hit him, and he chuckled, which made Ino's face scrunch up a bit more.

"What?" Shika barked out hoping they wouldn't come to blows again without Asuma around to break it up.

"She realized something I did yesterday during our _argument._ " Naruto's tone was jovial, but the Nara couldn't see the humor in whatever he was talking about just by glancing between the two. Ino spared him the pain of another brawl by turning away and storming into the building.

"Forget it, Shika! It's not worth the drama right now."

Outside she seemed blasé about it but inside she was truly hurt, especially after what she went through to get the regulator seal controlling her resistance arrays. She'd bared her chest to him, her soul even, as he applied the chilling ink to her freshly scrubbed skin. All the more for the fresh blush to her cheeks at the intimate memory, she hadn't even realized Naruto had neutralized the array until after she'd showered that night, the brief memory of his two fingers jammed between her breasts instead mistaken for a way to rile her up even more during their fight. Nevermind that it worked enough to make her grab a kunai for an impromptu vasectomy on the young Genin.

For the briefest moment, another flash of searing heat flushed up to her cheeks before she could force the memory away, a memory of better times. Not even her motivational Sasuke-kun chant made her feel better so she kept walking off to the third floor and the equally unknown Chunin Exams.

She still had the resistance seals on her extremities even without the handy Uzumaki regulator, so it wasn't a total loss. With nothing less troublesome to contend with at the moment, the two males followed after her, the blond one making sure to keep the pineapple-haired one to his front much to the Nara's heavy sigh.

"Are we going to survive this?" Shikamaru asked to no one in particular, his eyes watching with concern the stiff shoulders of his smoldering female teammate.

He wasn't expecting an answer and the grim silence from both teammates only made him more uneasy. With one angry person in front and another angry and untrusting one at his back, Shikamaru led his team into the Academy foyer hoping they wouldn't self-destruct in whatever the first test was of the exam. He'd worry about the second phase if and only if they passed the first one.

~*0*~

The three stayed near the back of the Genin horde after entering the building just shy of twenty minutes before the three o'clock deadline. From the looks of it, Konoha invited every nation to attend - if the massive influx of bodies was anything to go by. Grass, Plains, River, Waterfall, Mist, Sound, Tea, Fang, and of course Sand insignias mixed in liberally with Leaf swirls sprinkled about every three meters. Surprisingly enough this was just the entryway.

Ghosting up to the second floor they found a gaggle of students near the entrance to what should have been room two-oh-one. Ino gasped as she spotted Team Seven near the thick of it only to have Shikamaru stay her nervous lurch forward with an arm thrown out to bar her way. With a heated glare at the impetuous blond, he stared her down until whatever mess was brewing over there began to clear itself up and they were able to follow the rest of the students up the stairs to the third floor only to be met by their grim-faced Jounin sensei.

None of them noticed the angry pink-eyed kunoichi drifting in their wake, at least outwardly.

"Wasn't sure if you three were going to show up." Three sour faces glanced back up at him, but Ino voiced the general consensus.

"Why would that matter, Asuma-sensei? It's not like we have a choice to compete or not."

"That's simple, Ino. The Chunin Exams are a group event." He paused to light a burner and take a deep drag before exhaling. "If one of you failed to show," he paused to glance meaningfully at Naruto, "I'd have to turn the other two away."

His words sunk into the current two-thirds of the Ino-Shika-Cho combo he was responsible for and both snuck a glance at their stone-faced third member. The blond taking an avid interest in the double doors leading to the exam room never once so much as blinked in their direction.

"Well, for what it's worth, do your best and watch each other's backs." He was sure to meet two of them eye-to-eye. "Regardless of where the three of you are right now, remember that I am proud of you, win or lose, and that Konoha needs your heads in the game." _'Especially you, Naruto.'_

Having said his bit, Asuma vanished in a familiar cloud of smelly cigarette smoke leaving his brooding team to push open the double doors leading to their chosen testing site. What they saw inside the half-circle room filled with stadium seating took Ino's breath away.

Faces. There were hundreds of faces talking, grumbling, snarling, and glaring at each other. More obviously, a good chunk of the angry faces sporting forehead protectors from other villages was glaring at two of the rookie teams already in the room making the air oppressive with Killing Intent. It made what she was about to do even harder, but it had to be done if she was going to make a "clean break."

Taking one last glance at her former boyfriend, Ino squared her shoulders and strode over to her academy classmates right before glomping the Uchiha's back. She didn't squeal, and she didn't cry out. She just wrapped him in a strong hug and squeezed.

Reactions throughout the group were an interesting mix as Sakura blinked stupidly before shooting an open-mouthed look over to the Uzumaki now leaning against the wall like it was a normal Tuesday, his eyes looking off somewhere across the amphitheater-sized room. She did note that the cold look in his eyes showed he clearly wanted to gut them all and hang their pelts out to dry despite his feigned disinterest.

Hinata's shocked face turned quickly to rage. Her teammates noticed and glanced worriedly over to the Uzu native right before they both leaped to restrain the clenched fists of their own teammate.

Ino appeared to catch her rage, and flinched, but did not release the stunned Uchiha.

The rest seemed embarrassed at the male Genin's plight showing some form of pained expression. Choji lowered his head and dug into a fresh protein bar. Though both Shino and Kiba were still wrangling a very upset Hinata, both seemed extremely interested in the floor at their own feet. Shikamaru leaned up against the wall next to his male teammate, his brows furrowed in annoyance. None, to Naruto's obvious non-surprise, spoke in his defense or outrage until Sakura began spewing her normal filth about how Ino realizing Sasuke was the better man all along would not give her a chance in hell to win.

Through it all, Sasuke's pout never changed.

"Can't you folks read the atmosphere better? If I were you, I'd keep the noise level down just a bit." Seven pairs of surprised eyes pivoted to the new arrival.

And just like that, the tension broke with the silky voice of Kabuto Yakushi.

~III~

Above the room was ringed by angled mirrors, all of them one-way. Unknown to many of the Genin below, those mirrors blocked from the contestant's view the written exam's observation gallery consisting of additional Chunin examiners controlling cameras before a panel of screens, the Jounin sensei from each competing team, as well as a dozen or so dignitaries allowed to observe this early stage. The intent was to help minimize the outcries of unfair play during the exam often levied on the hosting nation, an idea that was growing amongst the other major nations here for the early stages.

Everyone understood that the "home team" had the advantage when hosting. Familiar terrain played a great deal in the success or failure of the participants, which was why the event rotated every six months. It was an advantage each Kage cherished as much as they prized their small armies of dedicated killers. In a game of seconds, every split-second advantage made or break a mission victory, and, for lack of clearer admission, the Exam was a huge mission for each village.

War, even mock war, was not something you could afford to lose and hope to survive.

It was advertising that staved off an invasion and drummed up new business despite the routine accusations of trickery and foul play. Kind of ironic and hollow when you considered the occupations involved but that meant little to the Third Shadow Flame. He was too busy trying to hold his fragile forces together while staving off imminent peril.

As a means to alter the standard course, Hiruzen's announcement of changes to the final stage of the exam went further to easing those outcries of unfair play than anything else. He'd barely spit out the two-day final exam announcement before excited cries about the "Exam Festival" started buzzing around the nobles looking for any reason to party in Konoha. Despite the added boon to Konoha's revenue, it was a very necessary part of the plan. Now he just had to find a way to secure the extra dignitaries, a thought that drew his eye to a very quiet pair of ladies huddled by themselves whilst peering down into the examining room.

"A Ryu for your thoughts, Shizuka-dono," Hiruzen whispered at the young beauty peering around the edge of the sill overlooking the entire floor below. No one was particularly worried about where to sit as each individual chair, large and comfy as they were, had small monitors mounted to a swiveling arm allowing them to observe the goings-on at their leisure. The merest flick of a dial and their screen could tap into any of the twenty cameras recording the testing audience.

For now, her attention was focused clearly on the unhappy face of the blond Uzu royal directly below her, her fingers gently tracing the outline of his jaw and shoulders across the glass.

"Is it true, Hiruzen-san?" Her voice was quiet, timid almost, making the adjustment to her ascension as a national leader all the easier a pill to swallow; she had been trying to assault said Genin not more than months before. Without asking for more information, the old man knew exactly what she was referring to but couldn't for the life of him understand how she'd found out so quickly.

"I'm afraid it is, _dono_." He did not feel reassured by her happy sigh of relief and even less so when the Daimyo from the Land of Snow next to her tittered happily at his confession.

' _Oh, we need to fix this somehow before we lose him completely,'_ Hiruzen lamented until he remembered a certain lavender-eyed heiress and her current situation involving the daimyo of his own nation, a daimyo that happened to be peering and pointing alongside his Suna counterpart through a one-way mirror panel not ten paces to his left.

~III~

"Naruto, do you mind…?" Shika's eyes were still glued to the huddle gathering around the medic-nin newcomer.

"It's none of my business what you do, Nara," he hissed out acidly making the taller nin flinch. The blond folded his arms but made no other movement. His eyes weren't even focused on the Konoha throng near the back of the expansive chamber, but his ears were. Instead, he was lock-stare with a pink-eyed kunoichi he knew all too well from another edition of his twisted life; Kurotsuchi of Iwa had arrived.

Shikamaru nodded once, a whispered "Troublesome" finding its way into the air as he sauntered off to join the group. He had to find a way to at least break the ice because, as the way things were at the moment, he didn't know if he could trust the powerhouse Genin to watch their backs when things eventually turned violent and he maintained little confusion that things would indeed turn very violent very soon. His father wouldn't break confidence in the exam phases and what they entailed but everyone knew that people died during these exams. That didn't happen unless things got real up close and personal at some point and there was an enormous amount of folks with glares on their faces indicating an extreme desire to get "personal" with the Konoha Genin.

Pushing such gloomy thoughts aside for the moment, he shuffled up in time to hear Kabuto wrap up his nin info cards explanation. Then the wheels began turning before the pale-haired medic started asking whether the eager Uchiha had someone specific to be concerned about.

Something seemed off. Kabuto's personality seemed too polished. The man's words were too rehearsed to belong to a Genin despite the number of years he'd been one. Shikamaru was a very shrewd judge of character and he found the bespectacled nin's lacking, a very unpleasant reminder coming in a memory from Naruto's clan reveal to the Council.

"… Gaara Sabaku of Sunagakure and Lee Rock of Konohagakure," Shika heard the perpetually pouting Uchiha bark out.

Kabuto nodded once, his finger absently pushing his glasses up along the bridge of his nose before preparing to pull the necessary cards until Kiba threw his hat into the snooping ring.

"Don't forget Naruto Uzumaki of Konohagakure." Several disappointed faces shot glares to the brash Inuzuka heir, but he plowed on unaffected. "I want to know how in the hell the dead-last dobe of our class cheated his way into this exam, so sue me."

He nearly fell forward once the shy Hyūga heiress yanked her arm free from his grasp, his shocked face clearly not understanding her fresh rage shoved by the bucket full in his direction.

"That takes all the fun out of it," Kabuto chuckled out. "You know their names already. Where is the mystery in that?" Despite the mild joke, he shuffled the cards before dramatically swiping his right hand across the deck, his fingers holding up three cards spread into a makeshift fan.

"Let's see what we have, shall we?"

Subconsciously the Rookies crept in to get a better view. Kneeling in the center of the half-circle of bodies, Kabuto's finger spun the first blank card until a puff of smoke burst color and shape into form. Glancing up at them was the same face of the bowl cut Genin responsible for the fresh bruises on Sasuke Uchiha's face, the same Genin Shikamaru could see several rows below the back of the room with the rest of his team. Flicking his narrowed eyes back to the hunched form at the center of the huddle, Shikamaru assumed his "thinking pose" and withheld his trademark commentary.

The information bubbling up for their consumption was a bit risqué for a med nin to have on active shinobi operatives and Shika knew it. Mission counts? Skill sets? Weaknesses (even if he had to briefly read between the lines)? It was information that should have been beyond any medic's access. The fact that he had any information on the Suna Genin, limited though it was, only raised his suspicions further. There was more to Kabuto than met the eye, not an unusual sentiment among shinobi, but far more obvious to someone clever enough to peek beneath the camouflage.

Despite his own precarious situation, Shika knew this was a nin not to be trusted.

~III~

Ōnoki read and reread the abbreviated script clutched between his stubby sausages. Briefly lowering the tiny scroll, he flipped it around to look at the backside hoping to see more words claiming this to be some sort of extravagant hoax.

He did so for three minutes before rubbing his eyes and reading the missive for the _third_ time. No matter how much he softly read out loud the same ninety-plus words (he actually counted them), nothing on the parchment changed and that made him all the angrier at his off-again-on-again comrade from the Land of Clouds.

" _Thank you for your continued partnership and kind words, Ōnoki-dono. I appreciate the heads up and will do what is necessary to ensure the safety of my shinobi. Trust me when I say that we'll_ happily _look into this 'discovery' of yours._

 _Now on to the second issue you brought up. Cloud will not, for reasons I cannot expand upon just yet, participate in this round of the Chunin Exams. We have extenuating circumstances that prevent it. However, I will be on hand personally to observe. We can discuss the ramifications then._

 _~A_

His first reaction was to rage. Instead, he snorted back-to-back and chucked the worthless parchment across his office much to the "not-surprised" observation of the bearded redhead standing on the far side of his desk. At most, Ōnoki got another raised eyebrow from the veteran right before he waved him off.

' _I will be on hand to observe'?_ That didn't sound like the meat-headed bruiser he remembered. Clearly Mabui was still editing the lunk's correspondence.

He refused him! The fool refused to help as if his hands were clean! The short Kage's scowl was working its way up through his neck to his face, the rest of his skin slowly changing to match the ever-present glow of his rather bulbous nose.

Well, help or no he'd go this alone. With a healthy growl he flopped up and into his boosted chair (one that allowed him to see the top of his desk) and pulled out a fresh scroll.

He could take care of his own problems, thank you very much.

~III~

"No fucking way!"

Several faces were glaring at the puffed-up Inuzuka much to his oblivious concern. Right now, he was too involved contesting Naruto's six B-ranked, four A-ranked, and one S-ranked mission record. Slaps to the back of his scruffy head? Not a concern at the moment.

Hinata was trying to _Jyūken_ the boy into unconsciousness, Kiba's former post now occupied by the burly Akimichi while he growled in futile jealousy at the blond Genin paying absolutely zero attention (outwardly) to the shocked mob of Konoha's best and brightest. To be fair, he wasn't the only one as Sasuke's almost-green stare was trying to bore holes into the side of his head.

"I don't _care_ what you say," the angry dog-nin bellowed. "There's no way this fucking loser is doing B-ranked and higher missions on the regular! An S-ranked?! Who fabricated that lie to make him look good?!"

The air temp immediately dropped twenty degrees and the once bold but now shivering clan heir went from posturing to kneeling, the ninken perched on his head whimpering and cringing right along with him.

Into the growing silence came the steady footfalls of one Naruto Uzumaki as he sauntered up to stand just before the embarrassed, yet ghost-white face, of Kiba Inuzuka. Everyone in the back half of the room instinctively backed away from the two males, even Kabuto who, while he wasn't paralyzed with fear, felt a shiver briefly run up his spine and backed away once he noticed the reaction of the other Genin. _'Amazing.'_

"Besmirch the image of your Hokage again, and I'll rip your guts out, flea boy." Angry though Naruto was at the old man, he couldn't allow one of the village shinobi to publicly belittle him. It set a bad precedent in front of foreign shinobi.

Three people in the testing room caught his reference to their Hokage not being his, those being his teammates and a very shocked Hinata Hyūga, her rage slowly fading to confusion.

Naruto stood over the still kneeling boy for all of two minutes daring Kiba to rise. Perhaps they would have stayed like that for the remainder of the day but a bright flash followed by the hugely billowing cloud of black smoke from the front center of the auditorium fifteen rows below them caught everyone's attention and broke the oppressive _KI_ being emitted by the blond Uzumaki.

"That's enough of that nonsense up there." The gravelly voice of the man speaking wasn't loud at all, it being barely above conversational levels. The acoustics in the room allowed it to carry but as he continued to speak his volume dropped bit by bit forcing the unruly mob to grow still and concentrate in order to hear him.

"Unless you'd like to join me in the heart of my cherished workplace, you will cease and desist unless given permission to randomly kill one another." The black bandana holding his forehead protector and matching trench coat over a black button-up shirt gave the impression of a dark man about an even darker purpose. The scars across his face told of a man no stranger to pain. The almost silk-like and extremely menacing quality of his voice told of a man that expected to be listened to and obeyed.

Without having to work for it and with hands clasped behind his back like a schoolroom professor, Ibiki had their full attention without the need to raise his voice even as his own bone-chilling brand of _KI_ stole the warmth from their bodies and forced young bottoms into uncomfortable chairs.

"Take your seats, maggots," he hissed, "and welcome to the first test of these Chunin Exams."

~*0*~

There were literally hundreds of shinobi in the room, row after row of the tiered room filled with young faces and glittering forehead protectors now properly sorted by (not-so) random seat assignment. Ibiki enjoyed the fear his presence generated and cranked up the heat on his fresh audience. Hands still clenched behind his back and _KI_ leaking steadily from his body in waves, he slowly and silently paced up the stairway leading to the back of the room while the soft timbre of his voice forced every pair of eyes and ears to follow him lest they missed something vital in his explanation of how the test was going to be conducted.

Up in the observation room taking notes next to his Hokage, Iruka marveled at how effortlessly the Jounin held their attention and wondered if the same dark persona could work in an academy classroom. Hopefully, it wouldn't leave too many mental scars, maybe?

"Cheating will not be tolerated. Repeated attempts will cost your team points…" Ibiki's voice continued through the speakers of the observation deck, the daimyos in attendance equally riveted to his bone-chilling performance.

Below, Ibiki paced like the nightmare juggernaut that he was, and all captive eyes continued to follow - when they weren't sneaking the occasional glance at the Chunin proctors lining the wall of the large room. Konoha had an easy method of telling apart the ranks of their shinobi at a distance when not in combat; Jounin wore vests (usually) and Chunin wore long-sleeved jackets made of similar material. The military-style jackets afforded slightly more protection to the less skilled mid-level nin giving them an opportunity (with the included Kevlar mesh weave) to survive the occasional deadly strike and live to reach the ripe-old rank of Jounin, where greater mobility and skill made up for the more encompassing jacket.

"You will have forty-five minutes to complete the first nine questions," he droned on, his deep voice almost hypnotic as eyes slide back and forth from his gliding form to the silent statues lining the wall.

The Chunin in the room were clearly specialists wearing black jackets matching the interrogator's black trench, the embroidered symbol on their collars of an eye sporting a sword stabbing into the bloodshot orb a common theme among them symbolizing unit affiliation. Ino recognized the "Eye for An Eye" motto of Ibiki's unique branch of the Intelligence and Torture Division but no one else did. It didn't really matter as they were plenty intimidating on their own even without the clipboards to take notes with during the exam.

Three minutes later and Ibiki Morino, perhaps the most feared interrogator in the elemental nations, wrapped up his monologue with a creepy serial killer smile plastered to his face.

"If there are no more questions," Ibiki summarized, an odd comment that caught the large room by surprise since he'd clearly stated at the beginning of his speech that no questions would be entertained, right before his body burst into a snake-like column of black smoke before that same smoke billowed in a direct line to the bottom of the room right to the desk set up to accommodate the proctor and reforming his body comfortably in the high-backed chair.

"You may begin."

The rush of papers turning over in the once tomblike auditorium was nearly deafening as the first stage of the exam officially commenced.

~*0*~

 _Dragon_ released from a sharp Flicker with the grace of a predator. Without breaking stride, the shrouded figure stepped in through the rear patio doors, through the sunroom and into the living room proper. Once inside, the doors slid closed without her help and five heavily armored members of the _Komodo Squad_ dropped to one knee with a crisp, _"Taichou!"_

"Report."

 _Taifu_ responded promptly, her mask held in nervous palms. "The repeated incursions of the _Root_ dogs have long since quieted, however, there is still the occasional Konoha mongrel attempting to break-in. Most pose no challenge and are driven off without a problem."

 _Dragon_ was curious even if she figured the Council was hiring professionals to breach the Namikaze estate. Fat chance of that happening, however…

"Most?" the modulated voice queried.

"Three particular humans made repeated attempts. _Umi_ silenced them and _Ishi_ buried their bodies beyond the clan lands in the deep forest."

 _Dragon_ nodded and prepared to remove her mask now that she was inside only to notice _Umi_ twitch, just the barest of motions in his right hand.

"Is there something you'd like to add, _Umi_ -kun?" Beneath her mask, an eyebrow rose slightly as the thickly muscled half-kin twitched again.

"By your leave, _Taichou_." Once the clicks and hissing wheezes of her mask releasing ended, Keina nodded her permission.

"She is becoming too bold, _Taichou_! We need to-." A raised palm halted him in his tracks even as Keina's brows knitted together.

"That is the _Walker's_ decision, not ours. We've discussed this before, Arashinoumi." The blue-skinned wyrmkin dropped forward until both palms slapped flat across the polished wooden floor he kneeled upon. _Taichou_ using his full name meant he'd crossed the line, again. With a sigh, she moved further into the house for a long-desired bath, the two females of the Squad trailing along behind her to assist. With Naruto in the middle of the written test, and the survival test tomorrow, she had time to relax for a bit.

"Prepare for his trip to the Grotto once this phase is over," she called out as her foot crested the lowest stair. "We will have thirty days to begin his training, his _real_ training." She glanced back to the three broad backs still parallel to the floor. "He needs to be able to survive the final stage of the Exam. I don't plan to lose our next clan leader to either the invasion or the petty schemes of the villages out to kill him."

She resumed her trek upstairs to the rousing cries of, "HOU!"

~*0*~

This exam was a surreal experience for Naruto. Ibiki's viperlike presence unnerved nearly everyone in an exam seat the entire time he randomly patrolled throughout the room. Adding into that uncomfortable shadow crossing by your desk the spinetingling sensation of the Chunin monitors scribbling odd notes onto their clipboards and you had a steadily increasing pressure cooker that wigged out more than one panicked hopeful. It would get worse when the man paused near a student and hovered just behind their seat so he could read over their shoulder.

Naruto didn't even look up from his paper as another freaked out Genin cracked from the strain running from the room, while screaming at the top of his lungs, never to return. Almost with practiced ease did the Chunin proctors call out the poor soul's remaining teammates before confirming their identity, by seat assignment, before escorting them post-haste from the room. This was the tenth such occurrence and it was hardly worth the effort to lift his eyes from his test as he finished his computations on the ninth question of his exam. Between those that cracked and those that got forcibly ejected for cheating too many times, it was becoming a very common event.

"You have ten minutes until the final question is given."

That announcement produced another round of furious activity, most of it scribbling backed by muttered cursing. Not two minutes later, the standard pink eraser blocks the Chunin assistants were flinging through the chamber like shuriken began to fly yet again unerringly striking the bowed heads of students outed in their failed attempts to steal test answers.

' _BLAP!'_ "Number one-fifty-two! You're done! Pack your shit and get out," came the dreaded challenge from the nearest test sentry. Despite the Genin's hotly professed innocence, he and his two teammates soon joined the growing cemetery of test failures.

' _BLAP!' 'BLAP!' 'BLAP!'_

They were dropping like flies. Naruto did a quick count and still saw over seventy teams in the opera hall-sized room. There would still be plenty of chaff for the next stage.

Content, he closed his eyes and waited for the final question.

~*0*~

Team Ten exited the academy amid hundreds of angry, cursing Genin. Since the prohibition of fighting was still in place, there was no imminent threat of violence to flee from and that provided plenty of time to observe the dispersing mob of competitors.

Shika stood patiently off to the side of the entrance as they herded themselves out to find their instructors who, according to Ibiki's menacingly whispered, "Your Jounin have the clue needed for your next challenge. Leave now before I take an _unhealthy_ interest in you," indicated they would receive a brief reprieve from the horrors of the exams, at least for the night. As his eyes swept the crowd, they took in Ino's attempts to reingratiate herself with the Uchiha heir, who was rapidly departing the scene before his reinvigorated fangirl mob could accost him and he pitied her. Hers was not a position he envied even if his own wasn't much better. Then his eyes turned to the subject of their current schism…

~*0*~

Naruto had exited the building and simply never stopped moving. Hands thrust deeply into his pockets, he kept walking off into the heart of town and never looked back, even for the pair of lavender eyes watching the unbent angle of his back and shoulders.

He wanted to end this as quickly as possible in order to prepare for tomorrow's exam.

As he strolled without an outward care through Konoha's Market District, four Shadow Clones shimmered into existence without noise or smoke walking behind him in a narrow "V" formation, a jolt that caused many of Konoha's fine citizens to start with shock, cry out in surprise, or scuttle off to the sides in order to give the now multiple "Demons of Konoha" a wide berth. Many made holy signs and symbols with their hands as one-by-one the demon's evil copies leaped off to perform some unholy act of terror.

Unphased, the original sauntered into the entrance of Asuma's favorite barbeque place and, despite the hostess's strangled cry of objection, stalked right past her to an open seat around a circular table prepared for a half dozen people. With his back to the nearest wall – just as Asuma knew he liked things – he folded his hands together atop the table and waited. Ten minutes later, the last of his teammates plopped down into a seat right before their sensei joined them.

Three slips of paper disappeared into three separate hands before a smiling Asuma leaned back and called to their server for his first order.

"Well, tell me what you guys thought-." His question was interrupted by the blond male of their team vanishing in a fairly impressive [ _Body Flicker_ ].

"Troublesome. This next phase is going to be rough if things don't improve." Shika paused to rake Ino with a horrific glare. "It might help if you'd stop hanging all over the Uchiha prick long enough for us to survive."

No one at the table had to guess about whom he was speaking even as she stood up abruptly from the table with a huff.

"You're not my father, Shikamaru Nara." She stuffed the slip of paper into her belt pouch and stormed off with a casual, "Stay out of my personal affairs."

Shika turned to face his frowning teacher and stated plainly, "If I die, I'm coming back to haunt you."

It was a very terse meal for two from that point on, one that only could have been made worse by the fact that other teams were having meetings at that same moment about the same blue-eyed Genin.

~*0*~

"Thoughts on the objective?" Zōsui's voice was flat and unemotional, just like his personality.

"Hmph, he's not that impressive!" Shigeri was trying to bluster but the snickering responses of his fellow nin were chipping away at his nervous front, something Karin could see clearly in his eyes.

"Is that why he left you unconscious in a puddle of your own piss the other night at that ramen stand?" came the expected reply from one of her only two supporters.

"Bah!" Shigeri angrily waved an arm and flopped down in one of the corners to pout.

"He's strong." Everyone turned to the sound of Hisahito's voice, the soft-spoken nin an odd but talented poisoner that preferred plants to dealing with people. He was also a good reader of people, however, and Zōsui nodded for him to continue.

"He has a powerful presence to be able to cow the dog nin the way he did." The small boy glanced down to the carpet as he fiddled with his fingers, a sign he was composing his thoughts. "Also, he was not broken when the scary proctor stood over him for almost three minutes. He yawned, which made me smile." Hisahito shook violently once then settled into a quiet humming to signify he was done.

Hito-kun had been right behind the blond boy and Ibiki's presence had been giving him terrible fits until the terrifying man moved on.

"There is a serious rift between him and his team. I think it centers around the kunoichi of their group," offered up Hari-kun waiting for a prompt to continue. "The Nara seems to be the group leader and, for now, the target appears to follow direction. Every once in a while, the Nara glances between the two as if considering something serious and the girl stays clear of them both unless they need to talk as a group. Even when she's hugging on the snobbish Uchiha heir, she keeps sending nervous glances his way."

"That means little. She might be trying to make him jealous or something," offered up the second female Chunin.

"I don't think so," Hari-kun countered. "She was very angry with him when they first arrived and while they are together. She only gets nervous once she goes over to the Uchiha."

Zōsui nodded once to acknowledge the input before looking around expectantly for more.

"He was able to answer every question on the exam without cheating," Karin offered up almost as if talking about the weather. The statement itself caught the attention of several folks including Zōsui.

"None that you could see?" the older man inquired clearly interested. Powerful shinobi were one thing; powerful and smart shinobi were geniuses of an entirely different story.

"I sensed no chakra fluctuations nor expenditures. He bowed his head and didn't raise it again until he'd answered the last question." The only redhead in the room smiled softly to herself as she remembered the extremely pleasant feel of his chakra, the hateful bijū notwithstanding.

Her comments killed several arguments from the peanut gallery. They all knew of her capacity as a sensor and, if she said he used no chakra, then he used no chakra. That meant he knew the answers to Jounin-level problems. That meant he had a sharp mind but what else of worth did he have? Was he worth the risk of this entire charade? Their mission lead seemed to think so.

Zōsui nodded once tersely, the only sign he ever gave at being pleased.

"Tomorrow the survival test begins. Karin," his pupilless eyes locked onto her crimson ones, "try to win him over if you can in the forest. Keep to the plan and try to strike an alliance with our Konoha _allies_." The grimace on his face was not missed by anyone.

"If all else fails, Hisahito-kun knows what he needs to do."

The introverted nin nodded once and began rummaging through his herb bag lost in his own world of plant lore.

~*0*~

Kurotsuchi's eyebrow was twitching as she watched her fellow Iwa nin jostle each other about the floor of her hotel room. Sitting atop her bed like an emperor, the only other female nin sitting across from her on her bed, left the rest of her crowded space available for the seven remaining Genin and three Jounin to vie over for best seating. Seeing as the Jounin took three of the four chairs around the tiny dining set, that left one chair and very limited couch or floor space for the rest.

"Thoughts on the target?" Her voice brought the jostling and swearing to a dull murmur as they began plotting to kill the mini-Yondaime Hokage, a nin she didn't recognize wearing a leather skull cap throwing up a snarky answer to show his contempt for all Konoha nins.

"He's a single nin hated by his own peers. What can he do by himself except die quickly?" Most of the bodies in the room chuckled, even the conceited Jounin that looked down on her as a shinobi.

"His father was a single nin that managed to wipe out the entire Second Division and fractured the First _by himself_ ," she retorted, her comment wiping the insufferable grins from all their faces.

Afterward, their discussion proved to be much more productive. And humble.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** Manga purists will hate what I did with Ibiki but I don't care. That's how I see a master interrogator adept at playing mind games with inexperienced shinobi.

 _Ja ne!_


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** It should be fairly clear by now that Naruto is a bit unhappy with his village. Right now he's a bit too distracted to deal with the situation properly, the second stage being his immediate priority, but surely the Prankster King of a previous life has a plan, right?

No spoilers on the Naru-Ino shipping. You'll just have to see how it plays out. I'll answer questions from the previous chapter in my next update. Promise.

Until then, Chunin Exams Second Stage, shall we? Let's.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 37: Enter the Chunin Exams – Part II**_

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _Anko entered the former command tower at the center of her favorite training ground just before midnight. By the gods, she hated paperwork! How anyone could stand being the Hokage for that reason alone was beyond her, powerful dictator status be damned, but she'd managed to file the necessary forms and prepped the waivers for tomorrow's kick off with the Genin roaches._

 _Only five days to go and she'd be off the hook and able to enjoy some downtime before the finals. At least those promised to be exciting this time around._

' _A few quick seals, a little chakra,' she hummed to herself while slapping a palm over two particular engravings near the entrance, a door popping open with a soft 'click.' Slipping in quickly, she waited for the obligatory three-count while it closed after a short delay._

 _Couldn't allow any unwanted shadows to slip in after her, now could she?_

 _Bypassing the lower floors, she darted up the curving stairwell to the seventh floor cursing softly for every level past the fifth; with so many competitors this year, they needed to plan for extra teams in the worst-case scenario. Her job this year was to reduce the seventy-two remaining teams down to fifteen or less and that was going to take some seriously underhanded shinobi shit to accomplish. Good thing that she was a seriously underhanded kunoichi; never send a man to do a job that could be done better by a woman._

 _Stopping at the eighth floor (after getting clearance by the four ANBU members guarding the entrance to the Command Suite), her grin turned feral as she entered the late-night briefing for a shadow clone of her Kage, her boss (Ibiki), her Jounin Commander, and a handful of specially invited people coordinating the pending war effort._

 _Oh, she couldn't wait to see the looks on their snotty faces when she unleashed this one on them!_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Early Morning in an Abandoned Slums District Training Ground ~**

A bit of normalcy can be therapeutic when uncertainty has crept into our lives. Humans tend to be creatures of habit by nature. Wake up, go to work, spend time with the family – if applicable, and maybe scrounge a bit of time for ourselves somewhere near the end of the day. Shinobi are no different even if their in-between-milestone habits tend to be a bit more extreme than you or me.

These are the comfortable routines that make life's little foibles bearable. As we age and mature, extra bits of routine creep in when we build families or add friends and regular associates enriching that routine by just that little bit more. In the end, though, it's still a minor fluctuation in a larger pattern that breeds comfort, that necessary predictability stating, "All is well in my world and I can face those irritating little challenges that life is going to throw at me today!"

That was precisely what a certain blue-eyed Genin was hoping to carve out for himself at six in the morning the day of the second stage of the Chunin Exams while being surrounded by hundreds of copies of himself. Showered, fed, armed and decked in his standard gear, the anxious Genin was standing in the center of the field attempting to take his Shadow Clone mastery to that "next level."

Something he learned during his _first life_ was that the Shadow Clone kinjutsu he'd mastered waiting for Mizuki wasn't the true technique penned by past Hokages of the Leaf. Looking back without shame at the way he was, he could honestly admit to the "him of today" that Lady Luck played a greater part in his startlingly successful shinobi career than should have ever of been possible. Why?

He never learned it because he didn't learn to read, not properly anyway, until Jiraiya discovered his greatest weakness and secretly taught him to read on that three-year training trip.

And oh, how letting another human being, even one as supportive as the man that became his greatest friend, teacher, and ally during his first blundering through the elemental nations, wounded him. Pride is a horrible vice for anyone but throw in Uzumaki genetics and you have a mentally crippling handicap evoking all measure of idiocy in situations that could have been mitigated or all-together avoided had he been able to swallow that horrible mountain and ask for help.

It's amazing what indescribable levels of self-induced pain can do for a soul destined to either repeat or repair the mistakes of their life. Pain makes for an effective teacher.

So, into that pressure cooker of a graduation scenario fumbled the functionally illiterate Naruto Uzumaki. Unable to actually read and comprehend the instructions on the Scroll of Seals, he missed any of the helpful information – including a full explanation of all the seals and chakra theory involved in its use – that would have greatly reduced the mental blockades keeping him behind his contemporaries. Like he'd done with his schoolwork, like he'd done with the basic three jutsus required to graduate, he sourced out the few kanji he'd picked up listening to others and following along in school then blindly filled in the rest.

Not a great person with the book stuff, he used the sketchy hand seal lesson he'd half-ass remembered and brute-forced his chakra into doing what he _thought_ it should have done when using the jutsu. Those pesky bits of Kyūbi's youki floating around in his chakra helped cover up his mistakes and filled in the blanks he wasn't even aware he possessed in his shoddy execution. In the end, he was provided with a functional clone and a way to mass-produce them by the thousands unbeknownst to people that would later stand and gawk at his facility with the technique.

Now that his ability to learn was no longer impaired, Naruto went back to the drawing board during his second life and learned the actual techniques he'd fudged the first time around only to learn some humbling facts about his facility with jutsu. Before where he could (and still could with his bastardized version of the Shadow Clone) spam thousands of them, that number, unfortunately, dropped by a factor of one-third when he used the correct version of the technique.

Disappointing? Certainly, but not the end of the world. Still being able to produce over a thousand Chunin-level clones (when he was a Kage) without youki was still a respectable accomplishment. Throw in the fact that his clones maintained enough chakra and skill to use either version of the technique and he still remained a one-man Shinobi army. So, all was not completely lost and that brings us to what he was doing in his old abandoned training ground before the village was up and about.

He was training his clones in how to delegate.

Using the traditional jutsu, he produced five honest to goodness clones, each with a specific purpose. All of them immediately used his adaptation of the technique and produced five hundred clones apiece. They'd only live somewhere between six to eight hours but that was more than enough for what he needed and what he needed was for each lead clone to absorb and process the memories of their junior clones so that he could assimilate the lead clones one at a time. He wanted to see if delegation would help ease the more strenuous mental strain of the original jutsu, something that knocked him flat the first time he used the true technique.

The first batch would revisit the beginner and intermediate Floating Leaf Taijutsu style he would use during the exam. The second would practice his _Tetsuken_ style with and without his punch knives. The third batch was to break up into five groups of one hundred and run through the five elemental varieties of jutsus he'd mastered for the exams. The fourth batch would run their chakra dry practicing with Hestia's _Falna_ blessing. The fifth batch had the most important job of all; two-hundred and fifty were going to work on manifesting a solid chakra chain with their left hand while the other half would focus on the right.

In the end, he would see how the session affected his group leaders and, if it worked, he'd use the method moving forward so he wouldn't get blindsided during his physical training.

It was an attempt at normalcy in a time when his life was anything but normal, his eyes periodically wandering back to the entrance of the unkempt training zone looking for a certain blond ponytail and the pretty ice-blue eyes that came with it. Knowing that she wouldn't be making an appearance, his eyes narrowed in frustration as his attention returned to the army of clones being run through their paces.

Despite his best effort, normalcy eluded him, and, in the end, he decided that he was looking forward to taking out his newfound frustration on a certain team of Genin in the Forest of Death.

That would make him feel all better. He hoped.

~III~

 **~ The Next (Same) Morning at Training Ground 44 ~**

Early mornings were no stranger to Naruto Uzumaki especially since this one started out four hours before the test was supposed to start. Camped out high in the boughs of a sturdy tree near their designated meeting spot, he had plenty of time to observe not only the ANBU stationed around every entrance to the next exam site but the teams planning to arrive early so they could do the same thing.

The Kusa teams seemed over-eager, their enthusiasm exceeded only by the Iwa teams that beat them by almost forty-five minutes. Without the cloying anger of the entire exam group masking their presence, Kyūbi had a much easier time picking up their hostile feelings, even if they couldn't see him in his perch.

He was going to have to be very careful this week.

With ten minutes to go, teams began to show up in droves. Of particular interest was a group of Kiri Genin consisting of two swordsmen and a kunoichi with long sleeves. He wasn't interested in both males and their mouths filled with teeth filed to points. To be precise, he wasn't interested in the bespectacled boy with the overlarge weapon wrapped in bandages. No, what caught his attention was the pale boy carrying Zabuza's cleaver blade strapped to his back and the promise he'd made to Haku because of it.

If the boy carrying it was who he remembered, it would mean taking a life in order to retrieve it. More sighing and brief international incident implications aside, his thoughts were forcefully taken off-course by the smell of dango, sake, and snake leather. As the second proctor made herself known, skimpy mesh bodysuit and all, he found his _teammates_ in the group nervously looking around and decided to make himself known. He'd deal with the _Kijin no Sairai_ when the time was right.

"I thought you were going to back out on us," Ino groused snapping him out of his darker thoughts.

"And I thought you'd be groping your superhero by now," he returned equally snarky right before folding his arms across his chest and turning his back to her. He was saved from further argument by Anko kicking off the day's events.

"Listen up kiddies, 'cause I ain't repeatin' none of this once it's said." She waited patiently while the murmuring died down, which wasn't a simple thing since most of it came from hormonal males hoping her trench would fly open with a sturdy breeze. _'Ah, the wonders of chakra anchors.'_

"To start off with, I'm Anko Mitarashi your second proctor." She ignored the childish tittering. "Before we go any further," one hand waved on two Chunin bearing stacks of forms, "you need to sign these." She smiled as the snickering petered out to leave behind confused faces.

"Hey! We already filled out applications to take the exams!"

Anko's chuckle wasn't a warm thing. "Good, otherwise I'd think you're in the wrong spot, _sporT!_ " Her tone and enunciation of the last syllable left the boy blushing in embarrassment. "Besides, these aren't applications."

"Another voice near the front where the Chunin started their deliveries piped up with, "Death waivers?!"

"You got it, munchkin." The near-naked Tokujo shot the excited informer the dreaded two-handed pistol finger salute. "There's a real possibility you'll die during this phase and I'm not going to be responsible for your ineptitude. Suck less and you'll live longer." While Anko's folded arms across her well-cushioned chest would normally catch lots of wandering eyes, she had nothing to worry about as every pair (except Naruto's) was trying to burn a hole through the sheets in their hot little hands.

"Well… I'm not signing nothing!" one adventurous Genin from Frost Country blurted out.

"Good!" Anko paused while they all looked up at her in confusion. "If you're not going to sign, then drop your paperwork off at that tent right over there," she paused to turn and indicate a small tent with a table, chairs and several boxes on the far side of it, "and get your tails back to your hotel. I'm not wasting my breath explaining anything until this very important step is completed. If you're not signing, you're not taking this part – or any other part – of the exams."

She waited for a "Five Count."

"You have ten minutes to decide. Those of you that aren't lining up prettily with your signed forms at that tent had better be walking otherwise our ANBU," she nodded to the silent figures lining the gates of the fenced-off forest, "will help motivate your morning constitutional."

Many were standing there with frustrated looks on their faces as they deliberated. Some simply slammed their empty form on the table provided, including the frustrated Genin from Frost, and stormed off in the general direction of Konoha proper, their unhappy-looking teammates trailing in their wake.

Anko smiled again making the remaining Genin shiver. "Good, that's five less teams to babysit and we haven't even got to the fun stuff yet." She glanced around once last time to see if anyone else appeared ready to bolt before pushing on to the true terror. Those remaining were too busy scribbling and she took that to mean it was game on from there on out.

With that, Anko sauntered off to speak with the folks setting up the curtain around the proctor tent, her eyes shooting a lingering glance to the spiky-haired blond on Team Asuma.

~III~

 **~ Hokage Command Center, Training Ground 44 ~**

Near the center of Training Ground Forty-Four, exam dignitaries were wrapping up their tour of the facility and making their way to the executive viewing lounge set aside for their comfort. It was a cozy if pleasant affair involving sunken couches, plenty of serving attendants, and large panel screens depicting different areas of the forest. It was in very stark contrast to the harsh jungle environment in which their Genin were going to be competing, and possibly dying, for the next five days, the sights being transmitted through the four curved displays covering large swaths of wall space indicating there were threats beyond the camera ranges besides the bloodthirsty Genin or two.

"Hiruzen-kun," Sarutobi looked up at his daimyo with a smile despite being twenty-plus years his senior, "you've mentioned before why the animals in this particular training ground are more dangerous than the normal sort but I seem to have misplaced that lesson."

Hiruzen smiled knowing where this was going, his eyes raking over the half dozen daimyos from smaller countries staring wide-eyed at one of the screens depicting a large jungle cat the size of a small horse. Bowing before he made his way over to the group, of which he now had their full attention, he couldn't help a gentle smile for the daimyos of the other larger countries trying not to be caught eavesdropping over the shoulder the Golden Flame of Hi no Kuni.

"Would you mind sharing that lesson with us now to help set the scene, so to speak?"

"It would be my honor, Omo-sama." Hiruzen assumed a pensive stance as he gathered his thoughts, his small plate of finger foods finding its way into the hands of a passing attendant while he flew through a half-dozen hand seals.

 **[** _ **Ninpou:**_ _ **Genjutsu Tsūshin!**_ **]**

The room dimmed slightly as everyone froze mid-conversation, the light fading everywhere except around Hiruzen. "Forgive me this minor bit of theatrics and stageplay. This makes the telling of the story more entertaining if you will."

The floor fell away to the startled gasps of the room's participants, except for the Fire Daimyo who had seen this particular trick before and found it to be one of his favorites. He considered the Hokage a masterful storyteller.

Suddenly the room brightened, and the ground rushed up to meet them all with a shuddering thump, several staggering despite having moved not an inch. The entire group found themselves on a lush plain of knee-high grass, the sky fading towards evening as a cool breeze blew easterly across thair and robes alike. One of the observers turned to inquire as to where they were before an earth-rending roar split the night sky whipping all of their heads around to the most fear-inducing sight; Madara Uchiha was astride the head of the great Kyūbi no Youko waging war against the Shodaime Hokage.

The flashes of jutsu produced explosions and waves of heat that seemed so real. The stray lightning bolts, some slashing through the chests of some of the observers before striking a nearby try were so bright. Worst of all, the anger and power of the great demon made some of the stunned audience quake in their place before Hiruzen's mellow voice pulled them back to semi-reality.

It was an illusion of epic proportions.

"Our story begins with the first great rendering of the land, the epic battle that forged the Valley of the End. Here we find two of Konoha's mightiest shinobi waged in epic battle…" Like the master storyteller he was, Hiruzen had the attention of everyone in the lounge ten seconds into his academic rendition on how demonic youki led to the development of chakra mutations and Training Ground Forty-Four.

~III~

 _Back with the Exam Contestants…_

"Time's up, roaches!" Anko looked gleeful at the disgruntled faces glaring back at her, which only made them glare more. "Part two of your exam is a timed survival exercise."

The collective groaning began.

"SHADDUP MAGGOTS!" Silence reigned as a truly horrific wave of _KI_ washed over the collective. "Once you pass through these gates, most of you will have five days to gather two scrolls and hightail it to the Command Tower in the center of this training area."

Several faces blinked in mild surprise. That didn't sound too difficult.

"Most of you will start off with at least one of the two scrolls you need already in your hot little hands." She could see them beginning to relax, their thoughts scrolling across their faces like an open billboard.

"This is where it gets interesting people." Several hopeful faces started to fall flat in anticipation as this crazy woman had a skewed idea of what was considered _interesting_. "One-third of you will start off with both scrolls but you can't head to the tower before seventy-two hours have expired. This is for the remaining contestants to get a shot at a complete set of scrolls. Those who get a full set are completely random, plus they'll be paired up with another Genin team chosen randomly from the pile and both teams must make it to the tower intact."

Naruto could hear lots of voices around him complaining about how that would suck. The teams starting out with both scrolls would have targets painted on their backs with little to no chance for rest during the first three days. That is until Kiba's big mouth opened up…

"Hnh, that doesn't sound so terrible if you're competent. Bring it on!"

His smile vanished once a kunai whizzed past his head thunking into a tree directly behind him. He reached up to touch his burning face and discovered that his fingers came away bloody.

"Phew! Yeah, I'll pass on seeing what your blood tastes like, Poochie." Anko, who had disappeared from her central briefing spot, slowly walked from behind him back to her position. "I recommend a flea bath once this part of the exam is over, mutt."

Kiba growled at her back, his eyes snapping up from her shapely backside after her observations on his personal hygiene, mentally adding her name to his _list_.

"Where was I?" She mentally marked her spot and mumbled quickly through a brief review. "Oh yeah, one-third of you will get both scrolls but can't go straight to the…" Her voice got stronger again. "Another third of you will only get one scroll and, of that third, they will be evenly split between a Heaven," one of her Chunin helpers held up the light blue item, "and an Earth Scroll." The second helper waved the brown one. "No matter how you slice it, you need both to get into the tower."

"For the remaining third of you, you ain't getting' SQUAT!" Blank faces with plate-sized eyes stared back in shock.

"That's right kiddies! You start off with zilch-ola and need to find both scrolls if you want a chance to continue on to the final exam. For the second and third groups trying to get a matched set of scrolls, you don't have a minimum time limit to stay in the forest but you will be out of it in five days one way or another and that brings me to the important rules you need to know."

"One," one finger shot up on her right hand, "all of you will spend five days in this forest unless your friends take your group out somehow. For those of you forced to scavenge for a pair of scrolls, you can head straight to the tower once you have 'em. For those of you starting with a matched set and managing to hang on to them for the first three days, you can head to the tower at hour seventy-two plus one second, which means the rest of you really can't afford to play around."

Naruto shot a quick glance over to Choji and noted the panic on the boy's face.

"Two," she held up another finger, "I shouldn't have to tell you NOT to open the scrolls before you get to the tower. If I have to explain to you about being trustworthy, then you shouldn't even be here. For those of you that feel you're above the Shinobi Rules of Conduct, you're going to learn the hard way that you ain't." She leveled a harsh glare across the group of nervous-looking hopefuls.

"Three," another finger shot up, "killing is allowed here. That's why you needed to sign those waivers and why we have the Chunin Exam Rules and Exceptions to Military Conduct in place. Once you have three signed waivers, take your team up to the proctor table and receive your scroll and assignment. Your entire team must reach the tower alive at some point in the next five days. Note I make no conditions on your physical condition when you get there so long as _all_ members of your team are alive."

She dropped her hand placing both on her hips. "None of you will know which teams have which scroll, or scrolls, if any. You won't know if you're paired up with another team until they show up at a pre-designated join up you'll be provided with when you get your scroll and no, you cannot kill the team members you are paired up with; if you are paired with another team, regardless of which village they are from, and you show up at the tower without them, you will be disqualified from the exams. End of story!" Her eyes became amber gems.

"Today's enemy could be tomorrow's alliance and you won't always get to choose how that comes about so suck it up and be the professionals your villages expect you to be!"

"If we have to stay in there for five days, what are we supposed to do about food?" Choji's voice sounded borderline hysteric.

"You're shinobi. Figure it out!" Anko responded bluntly forcing the big-boned fella's face to plummet with despair.

"I expect everyone here to have their assignments and be lined up at a gate in the next thirty minutes. Get the lead out!" And with that declaration, Anko Mitarashi stormed off to watch the Genin scramble, plot, and scheme.

In the back of the Genin gaggle, a certain snake summoner's eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out why Konoha was changing up the rules of this stage and what it would mean to his plans if he couldn't have sadistic fun with some of the… _younger_ contestants. This was not covered in Kabuto's brief last night…

~III~

After five days of traveling to Konoha with this fool undersecretary from the Lightning Daimyo's office, followed by another four days dodging his never-ending grope attempts once inside Konoha's walls, Samui was finally getting some peace and quiet hanging out with the Nadeshiko and Yuki rulers. It was discovered purely by accident as she'd been hiding in the far corner of the observation room during the first phase of the exam when the two foreign leaders stood nearby ogling and giggling about one of the Genin taking the test below. By the time she'd worked up enough courage to introduce herself to the powerful female figures (which made her feel proud of her gender), her weaselly travel partner located her hiding in the corner and glided across the observation deck to resume ogling her slightly too tight kimono.

It's not her fault the thing fit two years ago, which was the last time she had a need to wear it. It's not like she enjoyed showing off her bountiful cleavage for perverts everywhere. Clothes just didn't fit properly for women built like her.

At any rate, he found her.

Then he found the equally buxom Nadeshiko Daimyo and got distracted. Unfortunately for the overambitious Undersecretary, he mistook her for a handmaiden to the infinitely more famous Spring Daimyo, grabbed her very shapely rear, then promptly got himself stomped into the floor by the very affronted, and highly-skilled, A-ranked kunoichi. Samui couldn't help the smile on her face for that entire day, and every day after, as she became the best of friends with the two women that would, she hoped, be her drinking buddies for the rest of the exams.

That hopeful feeling lasted until they shared the little giggling secret that brought them together: Genin Naruto Uzumaki.

At first, she couldn't place him despite that niggling sensation at the back of her mind that he should be familiar to her. His hair color was unique even in her hidden village where everyone had either sandy blond or lighter shades of coloring. He didn't speak much, at least not that she could tell right away but that changed once they all flopped down into the comfy chairs (thankfully no one had assigned seating so she snuggled in between her new friends) and she could plug into the cameras, complete with super sensitive sound sensors, to pick up the subtle conversations below.

It was his voice in the test auditorium that jogged her memory and dropped her stomach almost to the floor as she tried to figure out how to warn her Raikage about the crapstorm he was about to walk into for the final phase of the exam.

Now that they were in the tower for the second phase, she was dreading more and more the horrific mission her team took to wipe out the last civilian members of Kumo's Clan Namikaze.

~III~

Shuffling through the line like cattle wasn't too bad provided he ignored the mob of stares directed at his back and kept Shika between him and Ino. It left him free to mull over the changes to the exam, changes that he couldn't necessarily take the blame for even after all of the alterations brought on by his _jumpers_.

Ahead of him, he could see the brilliant red hair of his purported cousin, a slender creature dressed in standard Kusa attire. They'd be together soon enough, he knew, but the waiting was making him edgy. She needed to hold out until he could get to her and extricate her from the exam. _'What the hell?'_ He blinked, then waited another few minutes as the line shuffled forward another few paces, just to be sure.

' _Yup, that bastard from the other night keeps looking back at me. I'm looking forward to wringing his slimy neck today.'_ Sure enough, the one identified in her file as "Shigeri" kept turning around to shoot snide looks his way. Maybe the idiot would seek them out? One could hope so.

The line shuffled forward another few paces.

"Naruto," Shika whispered next to him.

"Yeah Nara?"

Shikamaru winced at the cold response. "Can we count on you in there?"

The blond snorted. "You picked a helluva time to find out, didn't cha?" He could feel the Nara's glare turn to bore into his profile but didn't turn to meet it.

"I'm serious, Uzumaki."

They shuffled forward another few paces and, when they stopped, he turned to meet his stare. "I guess you're about to find out, aren't you?"

It took a second for his teammates to catch up to him once the line moved again stunned as they were. Before they realized it, the curtain was slamming shut behind them and the two Chunin helpers behind the desk, who were laughing and joking ten seconds before, got suddenly very serious. One-handed a Heaven scroll to the Nara team lead. The other handed a plain scroll to Naruto with a nod, while Anko rolled out the map she'd been using to point out things to the teams stepping behind the curtain.

Naruto shoved the scroll into his spare thigh holster slot and turned his attention to the map.

"Listen up you three. You're one of the lucky ones." Her finger jabbed a location marked "F" on the map, a spot roughly three kilometers inside the southeastern gate (Gate Eighteen). "Your rendezvous is the koi pond. Your half of the password is on this sheet. Memorize it and scorch it after. Any questions?"

Shikamaru scoffed and bit off a really bitter, "Troublesome," for their part but didn't complain otherwise.

Anko got unusually serious before turning to Naruto. "Be careful in there. We've done all we can to keep things under control. The rest is up to you."

Ino, Anko, and Naruto ignored the narrowed eyebrows on Team Asuma's official leader before all associated paperwork vanished and the curtain opened. With nothing left to do, they hustled out of the tent and waited for final instructions.

~III~

"Are you finished, Zaku?"

The spiky-haired youth sporting the happuri head gear broke his mental battle of wills with an annoyed "tsk" (he was willing the duck-haired Konoha puke to spontaneously combust with his mind) and turned to face his female teammate on Team Dosu. If the nasty curl to his lip was any indication, he was not at all pleased with her interrupting his psychic efforts to slay their target in order to inquire about the status of his waiver.

Still sneering in her face, he leaned forward to pass his form off to their team leader bypassing her outstretched hand, an action producing a snicker from their heavily wrapped team lead.

Kin's face scrunched up into a "You're Such a Prick" reply and took the forms from Dosu before looking them over herself. They were both dicks but neither was going to make sure everything was in order so that left her. If she had her way, they'd both die horribly on this mission and she'd never have to listen to them berate and insult her again, her mind absently considering if she could trade information to Konoha in exchange for sanctuary.

Hell, she'd bang that blond one if that's what it took – he just oozed "bad boy" charisma.

That thought, however, passed with a shudder as she imagined the gory death she'd suffer at the hands of Lord Orochimaru once he caught up to her. It would seem that she was stuck between an operating table and a cold grave with no visible way of escape. Gritting her teeth with resolve, the three of them found themselves in the dark but cozy proctor's table looking anxiously for a scroll that never appeared.

"Damnit all," Zaku grumbled under his breath.

"Do not worry, Abumi," their fearless leader crowed. "We'll make our own luck today."

Zaku grinned like a psychopath and Kin rolled her eyes hoping it would all end soon. They had an Uchiha to kill after all.

~III~

"Alright kiddies, gather 'round." More shuffling ensued. "There are sections of this training ground reserved only for Jounin and ANBU training, therefore, you'll only be using the bottom half of the training area. There will be ANBU stationed throughout the forest to redirect you, at sword point if necessary, to keep you in the recognized field of play so that something nastier than you can handle doesn't make a snack out of you.

"Since there are more teams than gates, we'll be releasing you into the forest in waves, each wave spread out by fifteen minutes. Don't dawdle or your nearest competitor may run your sorry butts over."

She didn't seem all that concerned for their well-being and those listening close enough picked up on that fact rather quickly.

"Gimme one row of teams starting right here with Genin assigned to Gate Twelve and running fifteen-deep. The rest of you file in behind them and wait your turn." The Chunin began herding Genin teams until four rows of fifteen teams were lined up in the grass.

"Okay, you've been lined up by your gate assignments. First group, go stand by your gate and wait for the signal to start."

The anticipation was growing and, for those waiting their chance to enter, it only got worse once the horn blared and the gates flew open. Team Asuma was in the second wave and Naruto had seen his cousin entering in the first wave somewhere to his left in the rows. In that same first group, he saw Team Seven headed for Gate Twenty-Five if he'd counted correctly. Once his team assumed their spot, his eyes flickered over once to catch the honeyed orbs of Mitarashi and they locked for several minutes.

The spell was broken once she yelled for the next wave to head out and, before he knew it, the horn was once again sending another group of young people to their deaths. Team Asuma immediately took to the trees once they cleared the gate and vanished into the heavy foliage without a trace.

Five minutes in, Shikamaru called a halt to their high-speed dash through the trees. Clustering near the trunk, he pulled out the slip with their half of a password, memorized it, then pushed chakra into it setting it aflame once his energy reacted with the self-destruct seal at the bottom of the paper per standard procedure.

"I need you on point, Naruto. Our meet up should be in…" he glanced around to get his bearings, "that direction for another three kilometers."

Naruto nodded but, before he sped off, molded an obscene amount of chakra bringing six copies of himself into being. Before Shika could ask what was going on, the six blonds dashed off, three to the west and three to the east. Naruto then jumped off into the direction Shikamaru indicated without a word.

"What the-," the angry Nara began only to be cut off by Ino's heavy sigh.

"Let it go, Shika. He's actually doing what we're supposed to be taking care of so, so long as he doesn't bolt on us everything is going according to plan."

Deep in his gut, Shikamaru didn't think it would be so cut and dry.

Several minutes of focused tree hopping later found Team Asuma dropping to the forest floor just shy of a small lake. With the tree line several dozen meters behind them, they had a commanding view of the -.

Shikamaru, Ino, and Naruto scattered as a wave of sand smashed into the lakeshore. Regrouping nearer to the treeline, Naruto set down with himself crouched between the threat and his squad right as an ominous voice growled out, "Are you here to validate my existence?"

~III~

Shigeri muttered out another half-hearted curse as he swatted at yet another damnable mosquito. "By the gods, I'd kill just for twenty CC's of bug spray."

Hari snickered but didn't comment.

"Shut it you!"

Karin tried to drown them out but the inevitable happened after yet another flustered slap of sweaty palm to flesh.

"Karin! I'm dying here. Gimme a quick hit!"

The red-eyed kunoichi sucked in a deep breath of air and counted quickly backwards from five before answering. "That's not what it's for, Shigeri! I'm not your damn hundred Ryo med dispenser!"

 **(A/N: I use both Ryo and Ryu as currency in my story. A Ryo is the modern-day equivalent to the Yen. A Ryu is the dominant currency standard roughly equal to the Euro.)**

She kept stomping off into the forest trying to ignore his aggravating bluster, her eyes focused on the warm glow of chakra speeding her way in a handy three-ply travel pack. _'He's using clones again, mmmmmm, and they're brimming with warm chakra.'_

Her pleasant daydream was interrupted by a rough hand grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around harshly.

"I'm sure Zōsui would love to hear about how you weren't pulling your weight in here." His sneer was full of self-satisfaction and condescension, but she refused to yield.

"When you get a real injury," she slapped him in the chest with a less-than-girly effort to keep up appearances, "then and only then will I let you paw me for your next fix, junkie! Put on your big-boy pants and suck it up. It's just a bug bite!"

Shigeri's face was gradually turning a shade of red to match her hair as she spoke.

"Listen here, whore! You'll-." His remaining comment was cut off by the sound of screams in the distance. It was fairly impressive, Karin thought, how the two of them leaped between the threat and their valuable medic. Any other time and she carried less worth than a pack mule in their eyes.

Suddenly, her **[** _ **Mind's Eye of the Kagura**_ **]** latched on to something that made her smile and she altered her direction just a bit to the north without another word.

"Oi! Where do you think you're going? Don't you hear that?!" Shigeri bellowed.

' _Of course, I hear that.'_ Instead, she smiled over her shoulder and kept walking calmly along as if she'd completely missed the horrible death being inflicted upon someone in the not-too-distant treeline. "You want to get out of here sooner rather than later, right?"

Shigeri's body twitched once again, briefly, as another scream got cut off with a wet gurgle, but his eyes never left her slender back as she sauntered off. With a huff, he turned to his smaller teammate and nodded in her fading direction.

"C'mon, let's go before something makes her scream like that poor soul."

The two of them dashed through the heavy underbrush trying to catch up to the bright red beacon that made up their kunoichi's hair, a flash of red always just ahead of their hurrying footsteps.

"Oi! Wait up!"

No answer so they picked up the pace just as another flash of red vanished behind another unnaturally thick tree.

"Oi! I said-." Both of them stuttered to a halt as they came into a small clearing with a den-like cave near the far end. Shigeri's mouth suddenly felt very dry, however, as the two honey bear cubs, both the size of a large man, perked up and met their very surprised faces. Shigeri's eyes flickered around the disturbingly unobstructed clearing and snarled softly to himself something about duplicitous bitches that should have been put down like their harlot mothers.

That comment earned him a sharp pain in the back, one that exploded through his stomach producing first a shocked reaction followed by a blood-curdling scream. Hari, the poor soul, tore his eyes away from the now bawling cubs as they fled into the cave that most likely served as their home during the winter and focused on his bleeding (and still screaming) teammate.

Right as he recognized the source of the bigger boy's pain, a glowing kunai of gold tied to a chain made of similar material (was that chakra?), another one pierced through his leg pinning him to the ground. Soon his cries joined Shigeri's as the two bled out on the forest floor. They didn't need to worry about bleeding to death, however, as an earth rumbling roar drew their attention (briefly) from their own pain and back towards the cave entrance where another honey bear, a much bigger honey bear, was rearing to its hind legs and blotting out the tree-filtered sunlight.

This time they put a bit more heart into their terrified screaming right up until the bear ripped out their throats for threatening her cubs.

With a satisfied grunt and near orgasmic look on her face, Karin Uzumaki allowed her chains to vanish once Hari's screams died off and prepared to leap off through the lower branches in the direction that she could feel her cousin's clones. She had a family to reunite with after all.

Removing her Kusa Hitai-ate, she sliced open her palm before wrapping her hand with the rapidly reddening cloth. Once she was certain there was enough blood in the garment, she tossed it down to the bears feasting on the remains of her former team before leaping away into the forest, the soothing green glow surrounding her injured palm making the last pain she ever felt as a result of Kusa a thing of the past.

~III~

Hisahito was puttering around their makeshift camp setting things to order, humming as he went. Obviously, this was not to the liking of one of his teammates.

"Hey, keep it down, Creeper! You wanna bring the whole forest down on us tonight?"

"Hey, hey, let him alone, Akio," the other chuckled out. "You know those stink bombs of his will keep the animals away from us." The Genin named Akio didn't seem to buy it though.

"And just how do you know they'll work this time, Benji-kun? Huh? You saw the size of those tigers we had to sneak around. What if his stink bags aren't strong enough this time, eh?!"

Benjiro glanced to his worked-up teammate and shook his head in pity. It looked like Hito-kun would need to make his "special tea" again to calm down Akio enough for them all to get a little peace tonight. He tried once more anyway to make peace.

"C'mon, the guy hasn't failed us yet. Just relax and we'll see how the first few hours go before we set our watches." Akio didn't seem like he was completely sold so Benjiro opened his mouth to try to seal the deal.

"Oh, I think Akio is on to something there, 'Benji-kun'." All three boys snapped their eyes up to the treeline at the sound of the extra voice in their campsite, but Hisahito dumped his current project as he sprung off to retrieve his kit set aside over by his bedroll.

Akio wasted no time drawing a kunai and rushing the newcomer, his hope being either to kill the fool or win time for his teammates to do their thing – they were all very familiar with the blond Genin from Konoha but this burly kid with the red swirls on his cheeks posed a mystery. The padded armor he wore plus the heavy mallet on his shoulder less so.

Akio frowned and began picking up the pace hoping to lure out the rest of the anxious bastard's team.

"Watch for elephants!" he cried out much to the obvious confusion to the Genin blocking his latest lunge with the lower half of the hammer's handle. Smug bastard didn't grunt or appear to strain at all. While the target was trying to make heads or tails of his cryptic code phrase, Hisahito began coating several hollow-tipped senbon even as his eyes started strafing the nearest copse of trees.

The code was second nature for Kusa Genin, a reference to the really tall elephant grass that grew on Kusa's open plains, meaning grass tall enough to hide enemies not wanting to be found. Akio was letting them know that he thought the boy's team was out there waiting for a chance to pounce so Benjiro and Hisahito took to shielding each other's backs, literally. As the smaller poisoner moved backwards to bump back-first into his teammate, he instead backed into a kunai tip that shot through the back of his throat and out through his Adam's Apple, the pink-haired figure delivering it rising up silently from the earth to catch the boy unaware.

"HITOOOO!" Benjiro turned just in time to meet the kunai thrust from yet a third bastard wearing the Konoha sigil. "I'll kill you for that!" he gritted out, his rage taking over finally as the kunoichi casually wiped the blood from her weapon on the battle kimono of his unmoving comrade.

"One fight at a time." The comment snapped the enraged Genin's head around to come face-to-smirk with the Uchiha prodigy of the Leaf.

~III~


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:** Another guest comment just tickled me silly today. I believe it was after Chapter 22 and the unknown person stated they felt the story was just a prelude to a big porno fiction. (Snickers hysterically) 22 Chapters summing over 200,000 words without any porn (I do lament Guren-chan's suffering but her deliverance is almost upon her). Heavy innuendo? Sure. Ridiculously proportioned women baring lots of skin? Of course - it's called fan service (something even Kishimoto wasn't immune to in his manga). It's not porn.

I didn't know some of you were so hi-larious. You should get out from behind the anonymous keyboard and do standup. You got jokes… not.

Anyway, the second part of Stage II: Chunin Exams. Let's see if you guys were right about who was killing whom…

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 38: Enter the Chunin Exams – Part III**_

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Training Area Forty-Four ~**

The observation lounge was a flurry of activity. Everywhere he looked there were foreign dignitaries and their Jounin instructors clustered up staring intently at one of the five large screens plastered to the wall, the instructors frantically trying to either keep their respective leaders well-informed on the carnage taking place before their eyes or comforting them as their respective Genin were being ruthlessly eliminated from the competition by another Genin team.

It tickled Hiruzen to no end, especially after having rejoined this particular chamber, that this very scene was being repeated in both of the identically outfitted lounges hosting the remaining two-thirds worth of dignitaries. All three observation chambers were practically thrumming with activity, excitement, and drama.

And Konoha was center stage in all three of them.

As Hiruzen gazed about the buzzing chamber, he found it exactly as he hoped he would, and found himself pleased with the results.

Of course, the Nadeshiko and Yuki Daimyos were simply enjoying the commentary with the Kumo delegate, something the closet pervert found infinitely pleasing to his old eyes. _'Oh, to be forty years younger again...'_ He would have to impress upon the more friendly representatives for their opinions of the admittedly attractive blond who appeared to be quite interested in his estranged adopted grandson. Perhaps there was something there that could help bring the villages together, a treaty perhaps?…

Tearing his eyes away from the three very attractive women a third his age, his eyes drifted across the very stressed Kusa Jounin who was standing before one of the monitors as if he was a permanently affixed piece of art. The man's face was unflinching, and eerily unblinking, as he observed three youths puttering around a small campsite, the perfect picture of distinguished reserve. Too bad the rest of his body screamed "panic" to anyone moderately skilled in Kinesics, or the study of body language as it was more commonly known.

Legs literally rooted to the floor, shoulders drawn to the rear, spine rigid, and his hands hovering before his upper body as closed fists, the man never even noticed the Hokage stepping up silently behind him to see what had so captured his attention. Standing just enough to his right side so he could observe the Kusa nin's face, Hiruzen could see the wheels turning behind his non-blinking eyes, the true sign that the man was hiding his distress.

Across most of the screens, dozens of Genin were valiantly waging war across multiple electronic windows to the outside world. The Hokage off-handedly admired the way a Fang shinobi hamstrung an Ame Genin to keep him from escaping. In another monitor, he winced as one of Konoha's own spontaneously combusted, the entirely too young woman's face a flash of agony he'd have to spare her family from even as his heart cursed his burden as a leader.

Then he saw the large figure of the Akimichi heir step out to clash weapons with one of the Kusa Genin trying to establish their base camp.

The Hokage had to clamp down viciously on his growing smile as the camp broke out into utter chaos, especially since he knew Kakashi's team was nowhere near the Kusa squad. How did he know? Because he'd just left the command center three floors up to establish his awareness of the combat zone and he knew, absolutely knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kakashi's team was another three kilometers from the three figures currently destroying the arrogant sod's Genin.

You see, none of the lounges had access to feeds from _all_ of the cameras installed in the forest nor did they have access to sound. The camera currently spying on Kakashi's team as they set up camp in another section of the forest, after he received confirming voice reports from key ANBU observers but before he returned to the lounge, had a video display labeling it as "Camera Fifty." The one currently broadcasting the death of three promising Kusa Genin was flashing "Camera Twenty-Two" in the image's upper right corner.

Then he watched the "Haruno" girl emerge from the ground like a time-lapse weed and stab from behind the smallest of the Kusa team while the "Uchiha heir" engaged the remaining Grass nin. He knew _for a fact_ the Haruno child knew no such technique though it was expertly executed from what he could tell, not that the Kusa Jounin cared to judge by the nervous twitch of his right eyebrow.

Hiruzen quietly slunk away leaving the poor man to his imminent nervous breakdown.

~III~

"HITOOOO!" Benjiro turned just in time to meet the kunai thrust from yet a third bastard wearing the Konoha sigil. "I'll kill you for that!" he gritted out, his rage taking over finally as the kunoichi casually wiped the blood from her weapon on the battle kimono of his unmoving comrade.

"One fight at a time, backstabbing dog."

The comment snapped the enraged Genin's head around to come face-to-smirk with the Uchiha prodigy of the Leaf.

"You can't expect to get to her unless you make it through me," the dark-eyed Leaf nin snarked.

Benjiro found the boy's dismissive sneer unbearable, which meant that he needed to do something to knock it clean off the punk's face. Then he'd make the bitch that offed poor Hito bleed slowly to death. If he was lucky, maybe he could stretch it out over the last four days of this phase.

Yeah, that seemed fair. So, he charged.

Akio was the combat specialist of the trio and Benjiro knew it. At the moment, he gave absolutely zero fucks. His hand used the short metal rod he wielded to push the Leaf kunai away, his body dipping downward on the backhanded swipe. With a sharp flick of his wrist, the baton extended with a snap just in time to swat away another stab at his neck.

Everyone from Kusa knew who the Uchiha was. They'd all been briefed on his abilities from whatever smuggled intel Zōsui had managed to sneak out of Konoha and that meant he'd be at a disadvantage up close. He needed distance.

Flicking the baton out enough to force his opponent to lean back and away, Benjiro pulled a single-seal substitution with a rotted log as the kunai returned with a vengeful _THUNK!_

Benjiro spared enough time to relocate his target, hands already flying through seals as he puffed up his cheeks behind a solid breath of air.

Without a large source of water, this would probably deplete most of his reserves even with supplementing the jutsu with his now open canteen, but he needed to help Akio so they could wrap this up quickly. His eyes flicking briefly to the still unmoving body of their tiniest teammate didn't leave much hope, but he needed to try regardless. He owed the boy that much.

[ _Suiton: Cobra's Kiss_ ]

Wrenching his eyes back to the smug Uchiha waiting patiently for his response, Benjiro let fly with a breathy glob of spit that shot across the grassy clearing. That glob of spit ballooned into a sphere of green water the size of a cantaloupe fired as if from a cannon smacking the duck-haired bastard-.

' _Nope, damnit! He substituted with a log at the last min-.'_

Benjiro's thoughts slowed as his legs folded beneath his body. Even as blood began pouring from one side of his mouth, his eyes shot over in the direction where Hito-kun lay only to see the tub of lard drop a subdued Akio to the ground.

Then everything went black as he gave in to oblivion.

~III~

Zōsui actually blinked rapidly for several seconds as he watched the last of Team Benjiro fall to the earth, his attacker wrenching the kunai from his back where the boy's heart would be. Every Jounin knows that the risk of their team crapping out at the Chunin Exams is fairly strong but not with the peaceful tree huggers, right? Konoha wouldn't risk anyone ragging on their peace-loving image so no way they'd let anyone actually die, right?

It's why so many teams from so many countries came to compete in Konoha. The "good guy" image was strong here and a well-trained Genin team could make a name for the village with minimal risk, not like back in Kumo or, he shivered briefly, the Bloody Mist.

Yet here he was watching one of his young teams get obliterated by the same batch of tree-hugging softies and his mind was having a hard time accepting it.

He was so stunned, he failed to watch the three Genin of Team Seven any longer than it took for them to rifle through the bodies of his shinobi for their scroll and leap off into the thick trees of Training Ground Forty-Four. Furthermore, because he couldn't watch them leap away through the tree branches, he failed to see their darker mops of hair bleed the color away until three spiky batches of identical sun-kissed blond were left streaking through the branches at higher speeds than any Genin had a right to move at.

' _Focus, Zō. You still have one more team out there. It isn't over yet.'_

* * *

Somewhere deep in the forests of Training Ground Forty-Four, a small family of giant-sized honey bears belched and farted after completing their meal of Kusa-flavored Genin.

* * *

Not five minutes later the Sandaime Hokage finished his quick loop of the observation lounges and shuffled equally quickly upstairs to the Command Center and his latest guilty pleasure. Admittedly, it wasn't as enjoyable as spying on the swimming holes with his crystal ball or curling up with his favorite guilty pleasure, however, watching the Chunin hopefuls battle it out reminded him of younger days.

' _So far so good. Naruto-kun's clones are more than just helpful information gatherers.'_ His train of thought paused as he stepped past the ANBU guards blocking off access to the command level and into the darkened room taking up the entire penthouse floor, one-half of its walls filled with dozens of flickering screens in two distinct groups.

The left group faithfully relayed everything the observation lounges could see below as well as four cameras catching everyone currently in the lounges - he cleared his throat in displeasure at the Chunin zooming in on the Kumo delegate's neckline and the camera quickly reset. The right bank showed everything else the Hokage needed to keep track of the slowly unfolding war between villages.

Sparing a quick glance to the sand table replica of the Forest of Death and the army of Chunin replicating the current war picture, Hiruzen slid into the throne-like chair located in the center of the room and settled in for the next round of combat.

"Hokage-sama," the gravelly voice to his left greeted.

"What have I missed, Ibiki?" The old man's eyes quickly found the real Team Seven on the right side of the room.

"Team Seven finally located the prepped campsite two hours ago," the scarred Tokujo groused. Hiruzen snickered at the man's less-than-impressed tone knowing how much planning went into making sure Team Seven found it first; if the rest of the villages suspected anything it would lead to outcries of cheating and possible conflict on a global scale.

"Subject Zero caught up to them over an hour ago but seems contented with standing off and observing."

Hiruzen's half-smile evaporated into a grimace. "Any images?"

Ibiki shook his head negatively. "It would seem that he can sense our cameras but not the motion sensors. No video yet to confirm identity, however, motion sensors peppered throughout the campsite indicate one individual in high cover."

"How can you be sure it's him?" Hiruzen didn't want to blow this opportunity by tipping Konoha's hand too early.

"Using the process of elimination, we've accounted for all remaining contestants except for Zero." Ibiki pointed to another screen in the upper right quadrant.

"Also, note the intercept course by the Oto squad."

Hiruzen followed the leather-wrapped appendage of his T&I lead to see three Oto Genin moving with purpose through the trees as they skirted around several Genin teams beneath and near them. With a brief nod, he turned back to the rookie Genin of Team Seven and tried not to think about the fact that he was sacrificing three young children in order to trap and eliminate a threat he should have killed decades ago.

"Time to intercept?" the Sandaime questioned as his mind easily snapped up facts and images to help build his tactical awareness.

"We estimate fifteen minutes based on their rate of closure, Hokage-sama."

"Good, Ibiki-kun. Let us hope Subject Zero does not get greedy."

The both of them settled in to watch the show, the Hokage trying to ignore the leaking murderous intent coming from the silent purplette standing by the other arm of his command chair.

~III~

"All I'm saying is that there was no reason to kill the team leader of that squad. They were Leaf comrades!" The husky Akimichi plopped down atop a log with a heavy brow knitted in annoyance, his eyes cutting towards the insufferable smirk of his teammate.

"We don't have comrades out here. Get that through your muscle-bound head, _Akimichi_." The Uchiha could not see the uncomfortable blush sported by his pink-haired teammate behind him.

"Rot in hell, Uchiha!" His response was hissed out through clenched teeth, but it was still loud enough to earn another self-satisfied smirk from the guy and a shrieking hiss from his fan club of one.

"What are you worried about? None of this is going to affect us," Sasuke chirped back fully contented with himself.

Choji, for the first time in his relatively short life, was utterly flabbergasted. He was so shocked, his steady progress away from the narcissistic bastard came to a complete halt mid-camp. Standing before him was a being so completely wrapped up in his own superiority that he couldn't empathize with the potential suffering of someone else.

"You just don't get it," the heavy boy replied and simply turned away ignoring the dismissive snort at his back.

Despite being the peaceful guy that he was, Choji nearly launched his mallet at the snarky bastard. Even without the "Uchihas-are-the-Greatest-Form-of-Life" attitude, the clan survivor was too good to be caught out like that and he didn't want to go fetch his own weapon in the thick trees around their camp – nor did he want to reveal Naruto's gift in case he had to fight Sasuke in the exams. There was too many creepy crawlies out there willing to chew off an arm and Choji's limbs were packed with meat now.

Instead, he snarled at the arrogant bastard and tore into another protein bar, his heavy war mallet cradled in the crook of his left arm while he tried to mentally script his official request for a team transfer.

Naruto had been right about changing his diet and training program. With his new confidence and combat skills, Choji was sure he could find a spot on any heavy combat squad whether he picked up Chunin this time around or not so long as he gave a good show to the crowd. The pleasantly plump pushover was long gone, and he had the physique to prove it.

That reminded the formerly plump heir that he needed to thank Naruto for the seals on his Warhammer. Maybe he could have the guy over for a traditional clan meal once the exams were over? Everyone liked a good home-cooked meal and Choji's body packed away more than his fair share.

Built like a powerlifter, most of the cushion around his gut was pushed up and used to fill out his arms, chest, shoulders, and back with solid muscle. Sasuke had given up trying to sweep the mini tree trunks used to carry him from home to the training field and back again complaining about his legs hurting too much after spars. The banded and spiked metal encasing his forearms (up to the elbows) and shins increased the damage he dealt in direct combat without making himself vulnerable as a meat tank, a bonus in addition to not being dizzy afterward. The close combat nin from their latest group of victims, fellow Konoha nins or no, discovered that the hard way.

Too bad the Uchiha burned the kunoichi of the group alive and for what? They didn't even get the scroll they needed and Choji was getting real sick of Sakura's pandering to the pampered git.

Kami he wanted to run with Shikamaru like old times.

It was right about that moment that an enormous surge of wind launched the Akimichi heir, his mallet, the log he was sitting on, and his half-eaten protein bar in different directions.

Choji cursed the bar's loss mentally as he tumbled through the forest and bounced off of trees big enough to hide a full-grown Akimichi in - he loved the white chocolate ones the most and there was still half a bar left!

With the heavy thud of splintering wood, he slid to the loamy earth and took a second to assess the damage. Ribs were a bit sore but not broken thanks to the miracle of earth chakra. Arms seemed okay… legs also. With a pained grunt, he heaved up to a wobbly stance and glanced around for his hammer.

Whatever sent him ass-over-appetite was still back there and would have to be dealt with. Not seeing it nearby he brought up the thumb of his left hand to bite it only to hear the hiss of something too large to be any snake he was familiar with. _'Waitaminute… Konoha purged snakes from all the training areas after the Traitor fled, didn't it?'_

Thumb just inside his lips, Choji looked up into the eyes, er… eye of the largest snake he'd ever seen.

' _Ukemochi's barbequed meatballs!'_ And today started out so well for the stocky heir.

* * *

"Ugh!"

Sasuke's groan would be expected after such an attack, and the paranoid nin definitely took it as one.

His eyes snapped open to survey the damage just long enough to confirm their rudimentary camp a complete loss. There was no sign of the meat shield, but he and Sakura appeared to take a glancing blow. Shaking off the snapped branches partially covering his lower body, he rolled to his feet while his right hand snapped a kunai up to the ready.

"Sakura. Sakura!" he hissed a little more insistent the second time to be rewarded by her confused groan. As the group's med nin, the otherwise worthless girl needed to be functional especially given the power behind that attack. They could go looking for the dumb ox once-.

" _Kukukukuku!"_

For some reason that hissing chuckle made his blood run cold.

* * *

Despite enjoying the carnage and mayhem of a good 'ole fashioned free-for-all, Ibiki's eyes flickered to a specific monitor on the right side of the bank. The near-silent growl leaking from his mouth meant he owed Anko another hundred spot and she'd never let it go.

"Hokage-sama," he whispered softly from his spot next to his village's leader, his eyes never leaving the two figures leisurely strolling through the tree line leading up to the northeastern barrier of the active training ground. Hiruzen noted the younger man's distraction and turned to assess the latest development only to frown in displeasure.

"Send them," was the old man's only response.

Nodding even as his hand reached down to switch channels, the grizzled interrogator pulsed the transmit button twice to request access on the line before speaking.

"Sector five, _Code_ _Sashimi_."

Both men smiled at the girlish giggle behind them at the sand table. Neither would admit that Anko Mitarashi ever giggled but they did enjoy the code names she developed for the board game. Hiruzen made a mental note to find out how Ibiki knew to plan for this type of headache in addition to Orochimaru troubling his home village.

Internally Ibiki groused about owing Jiraiya-sama another hundred spot and focused on the titanic battle about to take place.

 _Meanwhile, at the northeastern section of the fence bordering Training Ground Forty-Four…_

"I'm telling you, you shouldn't 'a blasted the barbeque pit at the last get together. Sasori was really angry that you ruined his luau theme and I thought Kakuzu was gonna split his wig at the money you cost him. Who knew those little umbrellas cost so much?"

An eyebrow resting above the lazily-spinning red-eye twitched once.

"That's really too bad 'cause I was looking forward to some good eatin' that night."

Itachi Uchiha sighed, actually sighed as he fought the urge to fillet his partner.

"You know, 'Tachi," the big guy began conversationally, "I didn't want to be the one to let slip but... the others are starting to question your dedication to the organization."

Another twitch.

"Maybe if you didn't run away before-."

Itachi rounded on the larger man with one finger jabbing the air between them like a kunai thrust.

"If you ask me to join in another group prayer circle headed by that Jashinist lunatic, I'll murder you and ask leader-sama to pair me up with Tobi!"

The blue man blinked sheepishly knowing how much his partner hated the goofy cyclops. Kisame Hoshigake's palms came up defensively.

"Whoa, whoa, 'Tachi." When the slimmer male turned back to the fence, Kisame continued on as if they were talking about the weather.

"You see, this is what Konan-chan keeps talking about. She says you have some deep-seated paternal issues you still need to resolve and that's why you have all this unresolved drama with your brother." Kisame took every advantage of his group insurance provided therapy sessions; Akatsuki, if nothing else, had excellent company benefits.

Another twitch this time more violent in nature while Kisame's head tilted oddly to the side while he considered his next words.

"Are you sure you don't want to hug it out? I'm okay if you're more reserved and just want to cuddle at night."

Itachi's hand shot to the kunai holder hidden in his left cloak sleeve.

"I'm okay with being the little spoon, really I am."

He would have gutted the blue-skinned nin at that moment if their impromptu counseling session hadn't been interrupted by a hooded figure standing atop the very fence they were preparing to vault.

"Do I need to give you two a couple more minutes to," the figure paused trying to contain a snicker, "hug it out?"

"Hey! Don't diss the breakthrough we were about to-." Kisame's words died in his throat as he turned to lock eyes with the rude person breaking the mood of their bromance, an action that caused Itachi's eyebrow to twitch for an entirely different reason.

It took a lot to give the former Kiri swordsmen pause. It took even more to make him wet his lips in clear nervousness. Itachi figured the interruption a good opportunity to take a detailed look at the obviously female newcomer.

' _Slender but strong limbs, really pale skin - wonder if she uses product?, gentle curves and bulges belonging to a kunoichi, dark clothes with a hood and facemask, followed finally by a ridiculously large sword strapped to her- is that a custom zanbatō?'_

"'Tachi," Kisame cautiously muttered.

' _That looks like a slightly smaller version of Zabuza's famed blade. All of the same angles and holes…'_

"'Tachi," Kisame cautiously repeated in a slightly louder voice, his eyes never leaving the unmoving figure roughly half his size.

' _Wish I could see her eyes, but that mask seems to have crystal lenses. I wonder if it provides some protection against visual jutsus since they aren't trying to avoid-."_

"ITACHI MUTHERFRAGGIN' UCHIHA!"

Itachi, now that his inner monologue had been rudely interrupted, calmly turned his head to his right just before glancing upwards to lock eyes with the gigantic blueberry.

"Yes, Kisame?" he replied, his voice utterly flat and neutral despite the shock of his partner nervously shuffling his feet with eyes as large as sake saucers. He could see the big man's nervous neck twitch, a rare tell he learned when they bumped into the Toad Sage a few months back.

Itachi also took note of the female's masked head tilting oddly to the side as she watched the two.

"Well?" Itachi prompted.

Kisame coughed like a teenager caught stealing from the corner grocer.

"Um, I think we should come back," Kisame paused as his eyes twitched up to the top of the fence once, "later."

Itachi's left eyebrow shot up and stayed near his hairline.

"Nownownownownownow, just hear me out, 'kay?" Kisame's rather large hands were gently patting the air between them. "I'm not saying, ahem, you know, that we completely abandon, you know, the mission." Itachi shook his head to clear the shock as the large man shuffled a bit from side to side.

"I'm just sayin' that we, you know, come back during the last part, that -what's it called again?" Itachi watched as the larger man floundered.

"You mean the 'Third Phase'?"

"Yeah! Yeah, that part."

Itachi sighed heavily trying to clear out the lingering shock rolling around in his brain. Turning back to the fence, he stutter-stepped backwards at the sight of another identically-dressed figure, this one bearing the same massive build his blue-skinned partner bore so effortlessly.

The same style of clothes, same hood, identical type of mask, and matched _Seversword_ slung across his shoulders told Itachi all he needed to know; Konoha had brought out the Komodos. Worse still was that he, as a former ANBU elite, knew something about them if not much. That did nothing to explain how Kisame, who had never visited Konoha before, recognized them.

"Kisame, we're going to have a lengthy conversation about this situation later. Do you understand?"

The larger man whimpered this time, _whimpered!_

"I promise we can… hug it out after," the mass murderer grumbled softly earning a dismissive scoff from the larger figure on the fence.

"Your brother wants to have a word with you, Kisame," the bronze-skinned male grunted out. Itachi unbelievingly watched his normally unflappable partner jerk about as if searching the trees for the Shinigami himself. "Something about disgracing the clan by taking a human surname and balancing the scales of your treason."

That settled it. Kisame fled back the way they came like a frightened child and kept running until the sun finally set hours later.

~III~

Several minutes of focused tree hopping later found Team Asuma dropping to the forest floor just shy of a small lake. With the tree line several dozen meters behind them, they had a commanding view of the -.

Shikamaru, Ino, and Naruto scattered as a wave of sand smashed into the lakeshore. Regrouping nearer to the treeline, Naruto set down with himself crouched between the threat and his squad right as an ominous voice growled out, "Are you here to validate my existence?"

' _Bang me sideways!'_ Naruto internally groused.

* * *

Deep in the Command Center, a pineapple-haired Tokujo tried to stifle her sneeze sounding more like a mouse than a snake.

Her scar-faced employer tried not to tease her over the cute sound knowing about her predilection towards painfully sharp objects.

* * *

"Don't have time for you now, Gaara! I need to meet up with another team, so your sicko fantasies have to wait for now." This wasn't the right time to deal with the little psycho given any number of teams could be sprinkled around the small lake waiting for them to wear each other out.

So engrossed was Naruto in the mass of sand waving in the air like angry tentacles that he failed to catch the subtle glance shared between the Sabaku siblings hiding behind their sociopathic sibling.

When the next tentacle slammed into the ground, Naruto was already in motion to the right while another copy soundlessly shimmered into existence already heading to the left and towards the lake, its fingers already working through handseals at a methodical pace. The original slid to a halt sideways, his hands settling on the [ _Horse_ ] seal as the angry gremlin extended a hand in his direction. [ _ **Doton: Doryū Taiga**_ ]

As a wave of sand lunged to envelop its blond target, the earth it traveled upon turned into a raging torrent of mud, the clumpy liquid undercutting the solid foundation of the [ _ **Assimilation:**_ _ **Sand Binding Coffin**_ ] technique shaving away massive amounts of sand and folding the gritty material into sludge.

Gaara's teeth gnashed together as he tried to force more chakra into his attack, but he'd only brought so much of his favorite sand – unless he wanted to use the gourd itself being as it was simply more sand held together by his willpower. Seeing the frightening rate at which his sand was being ground up into the churning river of sludge headed his way, he opted to recover what little he could and anchor his feet to the earth, to further prevent being swept away, mentally remarking he'd need a somewhat dry patch of ground before he could make more sand.

It was in focusing on the obvious problem to the front that he missed the enormous water column slamming into his body from the side. [ _ **Suiton: Mizu Soujū**_ ]

Oh, of course, some sand shot up hoping to deflect the assault, but the density needed to deflect the torrential geyser simply wasn't there. At least half of his available sand was busy sweeping away his balance, so it took next to no time before the roaring wave of chilling water swept him past his siblings and into one of the massive trees at his back.

Naruto smirked knowing that it wouldn't be enough to injure the Genin with his sand armor, but he wasn't looking to injure him. Silently sending another clone off to the right and into the trees, he pushed more chakra into his jutsu as the angry redhead struggled to regain his feet.

Naruto's smirk changed to a grimace briefly as he lamented his horrible deficiency with _Raiton_ chakra at the moment, something he'd need to resolve before the finals. There'd been so much going on lately his ninjutsu training, along with everything else he'd prioritized, had been suffering.

There was just so much to get done before the third phase. He needed to finish clearing out the basement levels of his father's house. Mission planning was taking up the vast majority of his waking hours and there was only so much he could foster off on his clones before decisions needed to be made. Additionally, he needed to find a way to resolve the Nadeshiko and Yuki situations without bringing his clan of three to war within days of officially being formed. Konoha's Hokage was still on his back with this not-quite-an-ANBU ANBU mission, which he felt were all poor attempts at free labor since he hadn't been paid for one yet. Hinata still needed his help and, at some point, he wanted to complete his _Fūinjutsu_ mastery.

He was swamped and that was before this little pest decided to further complicate his life.

But first, he needed to concentrate as his inner monologue had allowed the Ichibi vessel to shakily regain his feet, the megalomaniac apparently deciding he no longer needed the gourd on his back as a fresh wave of sand shot out at him in the form of sand shuriken.

Naruto smiled as he leaped away towards the water, his first clone sending another blast of the chill stuff at the jinchūriki to help keep it distracted just long enough for his second clone to slap a small square of paper to the back of the crazed Genin's neck near the shoulder. The clone died horribly as a spear of soggy sand shot out of the one-tail's back, but not before the burst of chakra sent into the paper seized up Gaara's small body dropping him first to his knees and then his face.

The sand hurtling venomously across the small clearing shredding saplings and brush now splashed harmlessly against the ground and any nearby foliage as the first clone sauntered over to check on the prisoner only to be burst in a flurry of poisoned senbon.

"By all means keep delaying my help while your brother drowns in two inches of mud," Naruto quipped in annoyance.

Even as a brief wave of shame shot across Temari's face, the paint-wearing puppeteer refused to drop his guard so Team Ten chose to wait.

Teal eyes shot up angrily once she'd wiped the drying mud from his face. "What did you do to him?!"

That comment got Kankurō to glance nervously from his formerly unstoppable lunatic of a brother to the Konoha nin that had just manhandled him. Naruto noted how the wooden puppet placed between the two teams twitched with every nervous flicker of the boy's fingers.

"I sealed away his chakra and the chakra of his bijū."

His words were calm but both of the older Sabaku siblings locked eyes on the placid looking blond as if expecting more of an explanation. Naruto had to admire their strong self-control because he'd be nuts right now were he in their position.

Time to twist the kunai.

"What? You didn't think we were unaware of your village's plan to invade us during the third stage of the Chunin Exams, did you?"

That did make them flinch, violently.

For Temari and her brother, the one still conscious, they'd come to Konoha expecting to find weaklings, shinobi and kunoichi pampered by the easy lifestyle filled with an abundance of resources and years of peace. Neither expected to be challenged at all during the first couple of phases even without their brother. In fact, they expected their brother to be their greatest challenge hoping not to cross him just enough to suffer a brutal death as his sand soaked up their blood for his homicidal mother. All of their misconceptions had been brutally laid bare by a single Leaf Genin that clearly held their lives in his hands.

No one except their father manhandled Gaara. Even Baki respected the vessel's power and tread carefully when dealing with him. As Temari glanced briefly down at her now peacefully sleeping brother, while simultaneously being shocked witless at the fact that a twenty-foot sand tanuki wasn't ripping them all to shreds, she realized they knew nothing of the shinobi living in the soft trees of Hi no Kuni.

And that thought terrified her.

Naruto leaned forward slightly as he casually took a seat on a dry patch of ground, his remaining clone folding his arms across its chest in a move that drew the makeup wearer's nervous eyes.

"Now kiddies, we're going to eventually get to your options post-exam but, first, here's how the next seventy-plus hours are gonna go…"

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** This seemed like a good place to end this one. It will make more sense in the next chapter.

Until then... _Ja Ne!_


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:** I wanted to wrap up Phase 2 of the Chunin Exams with this update so it came out a bit longer than I thought. Along the way, I even found an opportunity to inject a little humor into the story so I'm pleased with that turn of events (I always thought Konan got the short end of the stick in canon).

My goal for the training break is to include it all in one chapter, which may prove to be a lengthy update. It's mostly formulated so all that remains is clean up and sequencing as threads begin to wind themselves down. While not in the same format, I want to thank the author of one of my favorite stories for what has become my training montage idea - if you've not read it, I highly recommend "A Month as Naruto Uzumaki" by Angel of Snapdragons.

So, a bit longer to release than planned but I hope the wait will be worth it (releasing updates to Nature of the Savage Beast actually helps when you're stuck so hats off to those writers working multiple projects).

As always, enjoy as you will!

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 39: Enter the Chunin Exams – Part IV**_

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Training Area Forty-Four ~**

An enormous surge of wind launched the Akimichi heir, his mallet, the log he was sitting on, and his half-eaten protein bar in different directions.

Chouji cursed the bar's loss mentally as he tumbled through the forest and bounced off of trees big enough to hide a full-grown Akimichi in - he loved the white chocolate ones the most and there was still half a bar left!

With the heavy thud of splintering wood, he slid to the loamy earth and took a second to assess the damage. Ribs were a bit sore but not broken thanks to the miracle of earth chakra. Arms seemed okay… legs also. With a pained grunt, he heaved up to a wobbly stance and glanced around for his hammer.

Whatever sent him ass-over-appetite was still back there and would have to be dealt with. Not seeing it nearby he brought up the thumb of his left hand to bite it only to hear the hiss of something too large to be any snake he was familiar with. _'Waitaminute… Konoha purged snakes from all the training areas after the Traitor fled, didn't it?'_

Thumb just inside his lips, Chouji looked up into the eyes, er… eye of the largest snake he'd ever seen.

 _'Ukemochi's barbequed meatballs!'_ And today started out so well for the stocky heir.

( **A/N:** For those that aren't familiar, Ukemochi-no-kami, or the 'Goddess Who Possesses Food,' is the Shinto Goddess – and protector of – food. She is popular with the Akimichi for a reason despite her untimely death at the hands of the Moon God, Tsukiyomi.)

Both beings stood frozen in time as they regarded one another, the smaller eyes of the beefy human blinking twice in surprise as the larger creature blinked one gigantic orb in response. Around them, both the normal sounds of the very vibrant forest seemed to hush both in the presence of the enormous predator and the brief lull before furious combat was about to ensue.

"Hnh, and today started out pretty good to," the amenable Akimichi grumbled softly.

On that note, the constrictor's body tensed briefly right before it shot across their truncated arena, mouth agape as it sought to end the conflict immediately.

Such was not to be the case, however, as Chouji hurled his bulky body to his right managing to roll behind one of the many trees within reach just half a second before the serpent's jaws snapped closed on his former position. Ducking behind another allowed him to narrowly avoid the bark shattering swat of the beast's tail as it tried to relieve him of his fleeing head.

The poor tree did not fall being five meters or so in diameter, but he could feel its shudder transmitted through the ground. The power of that blow convinced the young heir that he did not want to experience such a blow directly, so he kept running even as his body bent low enough to allow his fingers to trail along the moist earth at his feet. Good chunks of that earth seemed to flow up along his forearms forming thick layers of rocky padding even as he picked up the pace of his frantic scramble avoiding snap after vicious snap from the serpent by dodging between more trees just ahead of its lunges.

You see, Chouji, for all his easy-going nature, was not averse to combat, no, not at all. He just knew when a head-on battle with something a hundred times his size was a waste of energy that could end in his immediate extinction.

The Akimichi were, as an entire clan, against anything that needlessly wasted their precious stores of energy so, unless he was going to miraculously learn the full-body expansion techniques of his clan while fleeing this massive serpent, then this entire idea of going face-to-face with an enormous snake that could swallow him whole was one gigantic waste of energy. Besides, he had other tools in his ninja-kit now thanks to his fellow Genin.

So, that meant he needed to come at this whole problem sideways literally and figuratively speaking.

The zigzag meandering of his flight ever so gradually began to open up space as the larger creature was forced to follow suit and readjust.

Both beings would surprisingly remark to themselves how nimble their unusually bulky opponent appeared to be even if only one of them appeared to be on the hunt for a new meal.

The shape of the head and regularly patterned markings along the body identified the beast as part of the Pythonidae family, or more simply a python. Chouji neither knew nor cared that it was not poisonous; any snake with a head big enough to accommodate your larger-than-average body was to be respected and avoided as much as possible. With both adrenaline and chakra surging through his entire body, Choji also managed to get a more than appropriate eye full of teeth since the snake's entire head seemed to be full of them and that by itself was more than enough reason to keep moving. _Quickly_.

Not even bothering to debate the misconception that all snakes ran around with only two fangs in their mouth, the bulky boy sprung up from his forward roll with two arms covered in rocky earth. Behind him he could hear the creature's hissing, like a large compressor relief valve splitting open the sky, as its body snapped dried wood, saplings and other stationary objects in order to ford a path hot on his trail.

Since endurance was never Chouji's claim to fame, he bobbed and weaved between four trees in an effort to confuse the hunter – an obvious failure – right before seeming to vanish into thin air.

~III~

The snake, one appearing to very much enjoy the chase if its hiccupping bout of hissing was to be mistaken for laughter, froze once it cleared the last leaf laden obstacle, its great head swinging slowly left to right while that great forked tongue flickered in and out, in and out, tasting the air for the boy's sweaty scent.

 _'Not to the right, no…'_ the great head swung back to the left towards the last tree where the smell of human sweat and chocolate was stronger – _'wait, now it's weaker again.'_

The great head levitated from the earth to cast a quick glance skyward only to see more tree bark, but the scent did go in that direction. It paused for a three-count before scales rasped against the moist bark, the enormous serpent using its sinuous body to slither upwards after its frightened prey.

Oh, this one was clever but by and far not clever enough. Soon enough it would have its meal and would be able to return to Ryūchi Cavern. First and foremost, it needed to feed.

~III~

' _Only one chance here,'_ Chouji kept chanting to himself.

Thick legs pushed off another branch, then another trunk as he angled his next leap even further to the left.

' _Only saw Naruto pull this off once in the village running from the instructors. Hope I get this right 'cause I won't get another shot at it.'_

He pushed more chakra to his legs and lower back angling once again to his left.

One jump then another.

Pause, breathe, eyes flickered to watch the snake as it froze, the large head swinging one way then another. He fought hard not to look down at the meters and meters of snake body now directly below him. He tried not to think about how uncomfortable it would be being digested by stomach acid inside that thing.

' _Good, it's moving again. Aaaaahh, it's climbing! Welp, here goes…'_

Exhale, push, jump, twist to the left again, run along this branch for just a second… The mental instructions continued because, quite frankly, he was too terrified to consider the alternatives. There was no "Plan B" after this. If this didn't work, it was going to be a knock-down, drag-out between him and a creature that honestly frightened the baked beans out of him.

What happened if he missed it? What happened if it moved?

Shaking off that spiraling line of self-destructive thought, the Akimichi heir snapped his eyes back to the large serpent scaling the tree looking for his fading scent and dug deep.

Another leap cushioned by chakra to his feet. Another push from a branch slightly higher than the head of the snake as he tried to keep the trunk between those four rows of fangs he saw and his chewy middle – I mean really, what snake has a head full of teeth both upper and lower? He was calling "Hax" on that one!

He'd have to thank his dad for the slightly more advanced chakra control lessons allowing him to leap silently from tree to tree, the cushion of energy allowing him to scale and run while making very little noise.

This had to work. _Please, Kami, let this work!_

' _Almost there…'_

He pushed off angling his body slightly to his right allowing his feet to plant on the inward side of the nearest tree that gave him a clear line of view to the three revolutions of the snake's odd-patterned body, the large snake's head pausing on the far side of the tree it had climbed.

Then he gave it one last jump for all the Dorayaki ( **A/N:** Dorayaki is a red-bean paste filled pancake confection), the earth still wrapped around his forearms both hardening and narrowing into jagged points.

"BAAAAAAARRBEEEEQUUEEEEEEEEE!"

~III~

The original thrill of the hunt was wearing thin and Keiji was beginning to grow impatient. If the trees had been a bit smaller and less plentiful, he could have snapped up the smaller human by now and been on his merry way. Having to change directions around the ridiculously large behemoths was beyond tiresome. Who wasted chakra growing trees this large to begin with?!

To add further insult to the already humiliating affair, the pitiful human's scent seemed to stop completely partway up the trunk. Now how was poor Keiki going to explain this to his summoner? 'Sorry, Orochimaru-sama but the chunky child gave me the slip?' No, that would not end well to be sure.

' _Oh, is that him I hear-.'_

 _SQUELCH_

~III~

On the far side of the tree, Chouji smiled to himself as his arms punched through the tough outer scales of the great snake and into the softer meat beneath. He felt rather than saw the muscles along its supple form ripple and convulse, the bark of the tree snapping with a horrendous sound as the chakra-hardened stone coating his arms constricted painfully forcing him to grunt once in pain as he heard something in the left one snap.

Then, quite suddenly, and most unfortunately for him while being suspended many meters in the air, the pressure vanished as the snake's body exploded violently into smoke.

With nothing left holding him aloft, Chouji began to plummet to the unyielding ground below.

~III~

* * *

"Ugh!"

Sasuke's groan would be expected after such an attack, and the paranoid nin definitely took it as one.

His eyes snapped open to survey the damage just long enough to confirm their rudimentary camp a complete loss. There was no sign of the meat shield, but he and Sakura appeared to take a glancing blow. Shaking off the snapped branches partially covering his lower body, he rolled to his feet while his right hand snapped a kunai up to the ready.

"Sakura. Sakura!" he hissed a little more insistent the second time to be rewarded by her confused groan. As the group's med nin, the otherwise worthless girl needed to be functional especially given the power behind that attack. They could go looking for the dumb ox once-.

"Kukukukuku!"

For some reason that hissing chuckle made his blood run cold.

~III~

Standing confidently on the other side of the clearing, Orochimaru spent a handful of seconds sweeping the treeline for the three chakra signatures he could feel but could not locate. They hadn't moved a meter in his direction despite making himself known.

 _'Perfect_. _'_ He didn't mind voyeurs so long as they kept their hands to themselves – unless invited.

Sliding his eyes back to the still motionless Genin, one because of uncertainty and the other because of uselessness, he took the opportunity to assess his eventual vessel. At first blush, he was hugely disappointed.

His tumble brought on by the overpowered breakthrough clearly brought on its own issues. The girl was stunned, possibly concussed, while the Uchiha only added to her medical trauma by repeatedly shaking her, most likely in a feeble attempt to wake her.

Didn't they teach basic first aid to Genin in the academy anymore? By the Great Snake Sage, what are they teaching in Konoha these days?

He wasn't even flooding the encampment with _KI_ and the boy was already in tatters. ' _Pathetic.'_

With a tragic sigh, he drew a kunai in one hand and his hijacked scroll in the other. No better time like the present to get things moving even if the eventual outcome would only greatly disappoint the Sannin and force him to take the boy's eyes before moving on to "Plan B."

Kakashi always seemed to get along fine with a single eye so why couldn't he? At least until he could absorb enough jutsu to simplify taking over Itachi's body.

~III~

Sasuke twitched once the incredibly powerful kunoichi began to move, items appearing in her hand as if by magic.

"Sakura." His call was accompanied by a gentle shake. If she was badly injured, he didn't want to make it worse and cost the team a shot at promotion.

The sight of the crazy woman tilting her head back and swallowing her scroll made him flinch even as the sense of urgency to his shaking of her body increased.

"Sakura!"

The girl moaned something unintelligible about him moving his hands south a bit, his eyes twitching briefly right before the freaky kunoichi started sauntering in their direction.

"SAKURA!" This time he shook her a bit more forcefully, trauma be damned.

"Unh, Sasuke… you know I like… rough stuff…" a lot of it was unintelligible but he could get the gist. The gist frightened him.

He couldn't help it as the kunoichi sociopath had started trotting across the not terribly large campsite. He slapped her hard enough to roll her body over onto her stomach, the girl's groggy eyes fluttering open as the pain finally began to register.

"Wha-what the h-hell?!"

Sasuke jumped up to his feet and drew a kunai in time to block the first lunge, his blood-red eyes flickering to life not a hair before the blades connected. He barely recognized the now terrified scramble of his teammate as she backpedaled on her hands and feet like a human crab.

Then the freaky bitch trying to carve out his eyes picked up the pace and he could spare no more thought for the still groggy medic of Team Seven.

Even with the predictive abilities of his grand total of three tomoes Sasuke was having a hell of a time staying one step ahead of the blade slicing through the air, it's high-pitched whine shaving threads from his duck-shaped coiffure.

Stumbling backwards over a tree root, the Uchiha heir pushed chakra to his hands and feet propelling his body upwards and to the right of his current position just in time to avoid a kunai enema, the whole time wondering _where the hell his fat body shield was!_

~III~

 _'Reflexes,_ poor _without the Sharingan.'_ Each thought was punctuated by a stabbing kunai thrust slow enough for the Genin to block.

 _'Speed,_ substandard _.' CLANG!_

 _'Form,_ lackadaisical _.'_ _CLANG!_

 _'Strength,_ pathetic _!'_ _CLANG!_

Orochimaru ran down his mental list as he continued to push the focus driving the last three years of his life, all the effort and meticulous planning amounting to an increasingly disappointing realization. As he tallied up the potential benefits against what he spent following years of borrowing – without ever planning to repay - stealing, blackmailing, and extorting, it all added up to one colossal realization of frustration.

He'd chosen very, very poorly.

Not to mention that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he'd done this before, perhaps not this exact sequence of events but that he'd created a similar pattern of occurrences leading to a very similar outcome. High-functioning sociopath that he was, Orochimaru gave one Herculean mental shake of his brilliant mind and pushed past the mental time loop to something he could control: young Sasuke's rather lackluster evaluation.

He was moving at mid-Chunin speeds without a need for more because the boy's fear had thoroughly handicapped him. Could he egg him on? Certainly, however, a true shinobi was in control of their emotions, their minds, and every other weapon in their capacity. He shouldn't _have_ to manipulate the boy in order to make him perform.

On one hand, an easy manipulatable mind is a boon, one a master gamesman like Orochimaru could easily tweak and steer into doing whatever he needed. It would be child's play to infect the child with his Cursed Seal of Heaven, the lure of easy power more than enough to draw him into Orochimaru's clutches. That would be child's play, should he survive.

But did he want such an easy target?

History had not been to kind to the Uchiha, the family's curse all too well known among its constantly dwindling membership long before the Kyūbi ransacked Konoha. Such a weakness made easy tools difficult to manage, their mercurial mentalities prone to fracturing at the worst of times.

What was once your loyal henchman- _henchperson_?- could just as easily turn on you in a moment of weakness and slit your throat. His much-needed ability to switch bodies every few years had the unfortunate side effect of creating such opportunities making him far too vulnerable for such a temperamental lackey.

No, he'd much rather take his eyes and implant them into a true chakra powerhouse, like the Kyūbi jinchuuriki. Now there was an appealing idea!

Oh wait, there was that small problem of the demon itself melting his mind into goo…

Bah, he loved a challenge and there was nothing that _Fūinjutsu_ couldn't fix given enough time.

With that in mind, Orochimaru slipped the young Uchiha's defenses as quick as you please to plant a boot into his sternum. All of the air in young Sasuke's lungs evacuated and the boy flopped helplessly along the ground like a limp ragdoll before slamming violently into a tree. Before said Genin could regain either his senses or control of his breathing, he was subject to a piercing pain on the left side of his neck. That pain quickly shifted from an acute localized one to a slow-burning sensation that began to spread all throughout his body.

Once the pain seized hold of his heart, the screaming began in earnest.

~III~

It was hard for Chouji to watch the foreign kunoichi pummel his teammates even with the now healed arm he sported. Once again, he looked to his left on the branch that he shared with four other figures and nodded his thanks to the redheaded Kusa kunoichi sharing the high perch with him.

She was pretty in an exotic-reserved sort of fashion, but her healing skills definitely outclassed his pink-haired teammate and for that he was grateful. It would be tender for a few days, but he could use it with enough earth to bulwark the arm.

It was unfortunate that most of her womanly curves were nonexistent – her hips were slightly curvier than his teammates and that about covered it, something the Akimichis would doggedly try to correct through enormous amounts of food if they got their hands on her. She had a gorgeous smile though, even when she pierced his soul with those burning eyes of hers.

Tearing his eyes away from her attractive smirk, he nearly jumped from his hidden perch to join the fight. Only the iron grip on his right shoulder by the stern-faced clone kept him from doing so and he was once again shocked by the surprising strength of the blond Genin he used to share the occasional laugh and bag of chips with.

It was the same strength that caught him mid free fall before the ground could snap his legs in half.

Beneath them, the fight was picking up and even Chouji could see that the kunoichi with the crazy smile stretching her face to inhuman levels couldn't mean anything good for this team. If this kept up, he'd have to break free somehow and try to save them otherwise it was game over for Team Kakashi.

Oddly enough, he never understood why Sasuke fought so hard against the new team name. It wasn't bad sporting the name of Konoha's premier ANBU elite. It even came with a kick-ass theme song!

At any rate, things were getting ugly and, yup, the Uchiha just went down. _'What the hell? Did she just bite Sasuke?!'_

Before he knew it, the iron grip let go and Chouji was charging to the ground below even as the long-haired killer tore off in the opposite direction into the trees. He paused enough to bite his thumb and reverse summon his hammer back into his hand courtesy of the seal Naruto grafted to his palm back in the academy.

No sense fighting already at a disadvantage.

A quick look showed Sakura fussing over the convulsing Uchiha. Yeah, she could help him out and, if she couldn't, he could get them to the tower in a hurry, exam or not.

Turning his eyes outward to sweep the camp, they came to rest upon a brown-ringed scroll, and he couldn't help a chuckle. Careful not to drop his guard, Chouji scooped up the Earth scroll with his left hand tucking the object into his battle kimono.

They now had what they needed to pass the test so long as Sasuke survived whatever it was that crazy girl did to him.

Maybe they could do this after all.

~III~

Up in the tree their big-boned, and now well-muscled friend, left not thirty seconds before, four pairs of eyes were having an interesting conversation.

"That was a bit cruel don't you think?" Karin had one eyebrow raised as she interrogated the triplet offshoots of her cousin.

"How do you figure?" the nearest one asked.

"You three have plenty of chakra left. You could have easily distracted that kunoichi long enough for them to get away."

All three copies shared a brief look before turning back to her and laughing. One laughed hard enough that he fell backwards off the branch to – with a quick application of chakra - end up hanging upside down from the limb by the soles of his sandals. It took a while before another gained enough oxygen to answer her now angrily twitching eyebrow.

"One of us? Stall Orochimaru of the Sannin?"

The shocked full-body twitch of the Uzumaki sensor said it all.

"Yeah, that's not our job. We're just here to keep the rest of the Genin from picking off the weakened _Uchiha_."

She could hear the obvious dislike in their voices and see it in their posture, especially the one that dismissively gestured to the comatose and twitching boy below. If the clones felt this way about the Uchiha, how did the original feel?

"So much for unity among the Leaf," she quipped.

"Don't let the rumors fool you, cousin-chan." Another picked up the conversation thread almost like creepy twins.

"We've seen him stab through allies in order to kill someone he believed helped to wipe out his clan solely on the unsubstantiated words of another."

None of them pointed out that the person they'd seen him stab through was her and that it would happen in the next two to three years, give or take if she ran off with emo bastard.

"That guy would sell his own sister," one began.

"…if he had one," another continued before the first took over again.

"…just to get a shot of revenge at his older brother."

Karin's jaw dropped as she turned to take one last look at the downed Uchiha scion. _'Why are the cute ones always damaged beyond repair?'_ It was too bad really. He was kinda cute.

"Get her to the lake. Boss is waiting to link up before they head in the day after tomorrow."

The clone closest to her nodded before offering her his back, which she happily took.

"Wait a minute, what are you two going be doing?"

The unhappy grin they shot back at her query piqued her interest. An equally unhappy, "Our job," was her only explanation as her trusty steed leaped off into the upper foliage.

~III~

* * *

Kurotsuchi frowned as she vaulted off of the trunk of another tree, another glob of her Quickslime knocking her Leaf-wearing opponent from the tree branch he was crouching on and into the trunk itself. To add insult to injury, she waited for several minutes before hitting the molten blob with a blast of water solidifying it into cement.

She tried to hide her disappointment as the nin passed out from the pain before the stream of water cooled the molten earth down enough to not kill but permanently cripple instead.

"There's no need to be intentionally cruel, Kuro." The fresh beard fuzz on her teammate's face was wrinkled in displeasure.

Her moment ruined, Kurotsuchi scoffed in response. "Being in this miserable wasteland is reason enough."

Before Yama no Ittan could comment, the kunoichi leader of their squad cut off the surname-less orphan-turned-shinobi with a barking hail.

"Zaji," the brown-haired youth glanced up from the unblinking body held in his grasp, "quit playing with your food and get a move on. Konoha thinks they're slick putting us on the ass-end of nowhere but all they did was make our job easier."

Her confused teammates both wore their frustration openly given the enormous range of the forest they were in.

"It's simple, boys," she smirked back confidently. "All we have to do is keep heading east and we'll eventually find him."

Konoha putting them at the farthest gate to the west limited their picking of the wrong direction from half – if they'd started near the proctor's camp – to zero. After all, they only had one direction they _could_ travel in.

And with that single direction to accompany her single-minded thought of crushing the Uzumaki, Kurotsuchi promised to make the boy pay for every year her Jiji suffered in exile because of his worthless clan. That's what you did for family, after all.

~III~

* * *

"No! Temari, for the last time I'm not interested in your suicidal rescue attempt!"

There were certain beliefs held by the oldest Sabaku sibling to be inviolate. The first and foremost of them was that her middle sibling, as her most loyal minion, was never, ever, ever, never to talk back to her whenever she sent him forth to do her bidding. Despite his vehement denial of any such agreement as explicitly outlined in the official Sibling Rules of Engagement, his status as a minion clearly obligates that he should feel honored to lay down his life on her behalf, as required - _whenever required_.

This is the way. It was known. _It was ALWAYS known!_

His hissed refusal to boldly rush forward and distract the ninjutsu powerhouse capable of rolling up their homicidal baby brother like fresh tamagoyaki smacked of rank insubordination that she would need to painfully correct once they were free.

Given that one of her other "inviolate laws of nature" was that _the jinchūriki-powered crazy she lovingly called her baby brother was unbeatable_ had just been turned on its head, she was admittedly not having the best of weeks for earth-shattering paradigm shifts. If nothing else, his ability to without fail, crush humans into sand-flavored salsa was, until recently, flawless.

As loathsome as it made her feel, she snuck another look at the comatose carrier of the Ichibi and cringed from pure reflex.

What she was looking at was unnatural, as unnatural as Iwa shinobi sitting down to break bread with Sand nin; laid out on the soft earth with his arms and legs wrapped snugly in ninja wire was the very Ichibi that frightened her so, his soft snores ending in tiny whistling noises. No matter how "cute" it appeared or sounded, every nerve in her body was high strung expecting the beast to seize control of her brother leading to a rampage deep in the Konohan training area without the benefit of her father's gold-laced sand to control and contain him.

When he wasn't asleep, he'd been livid as losing access to both his chakra and the being he only referred to as "Mother" frustrated Gaara to no end. When he wasn't ranting (for the brief windows he'd been coherent) since their capture, he was sleeping – something she once believed in her soul to be an impossibility for her demonically-possessed brother.

A sleeping Gaara meant death to everything in a square kilometer. It was known. It was FACT!

She'd borne witness to several such rampages in Suna before Gaara had been "conditioned" to fight his body's urges and _not_ sleep. Despite the studies proving that years of sleep deprivation was debilitating to a person's mind and humanity, Suna had been ruthlessly monitoring and controlling the boy's sleep cycle to prevent such reoccurrences (using remote-operated _Raiton_ seals bought at unbelievably high prices from Kumo) and, despite how her heart hurt for her little brother, his sleep-deprived insanity was a must to keep innocents alive.

First and foremost among those innocents was herself, naturally, as the Queen of Minions.

At least it was a requirement for now. That was supposed to change in the third stage of this exam when, regardless of her natural aversion to allowing her brother to doze off, they would intentionally allow him to sleep and release the Ichibi in the heart of Konoha.

Until then, they _needed_ Gaara to stay awake – one of the inviolate laws of her singular existence - at least up until now as their captor, one of what she understood to be their appointed tree-hugging teammates for this phase of the exam, sent Gaara unwillingly into the land of slumber while forcibly suppressing the one-tailed force of nature known in Suna as "that bloody Sand Tanuki."

Scores of Suna shinobi had violently died during the early days before Suna figured out that little "keep him awake at all costs" trick and all it took in Konoha was for a single Genin to slap him down like a brand-new Shogi piece.

This was definitely _not_ the way things should be leading to irreparable damage to another inviolate law in her belief system; all shinobi not of Sunagakure no Sato were worthless and weak.

 _It was fucking known!_

At least it was until today.

Unfortunately, her unshakable belief system couldn't take too many more body blows. They were trapped in the land of tree-huggers, her brother trapped and unconscious at the hands of said tree-huggers, and they were unable to see an easy path to freedom from said huggers of trees.

Were all tree-huggers as powerful as he? A cursory study indicated probably not. While he listened to the spiky-headed Genin on his team when strategizing, he clearly took the lead when it came to action, his teammates automatically placing themselves in supporting roles.

Mr. Pineapple was probably a Nara based on what she remembered from the shared intelligence their ally provided before this mission began. The girl - she flicked her eyes to take in the blonde kunoichi boring holes through her head with her own – could be nothing but the Yamanaka heiress. So, what did that make the blond juggernaut of their group?

His hair was a different shade of blond but that might not have meant much in the greater game of genetics. Despite his eyes being a much prettier- _more tactically significant_ shade of blue, he _could-might-possibly_ be a distant cousin? But weren't they the village brain scramblers? They were cerebral, not physically overpowering.

It made no sense and twisting it over and over again in her mind was giving her a headache. She'd much rather focus on pummeling her bro- _minion_ back into some semblance of submission, which was much more appealing at the moment. He'd been allowed to run free for far too long over the last week and she could plan his punishment while assessing her newest frenemies.

They'd need as much INTEL as they could get going into the final round.

For now, however, she needed to find a way out of the mess they were currently in since Kankurō either wouldn't or couldn't be bothered to participate.

Oh yes, he was due some righteous pain the moment they were away.

~III~

* * *

The cat-faced puppeteer tried not to shiver overly much as his sister's angry wave washed over him knowing certain pain beat certain death any day of the week.

And twice on Sundays.

* * *

Unfortunately, freedom was not meant to be prior to reaching the gloomy tower located in the "Forest from Hell's" center.

It took the better of two days for Gaara to fully stir for longer than five minutes and the entirety of that second day for the homicidal maniac to remember enough of what happened to calm down at his captivity. During the random cycling between sputtering rage and inconsolable fear, he wore himself out again resulting in another bout of fitful slumber and through it all his siblings sat too dumbfounded to assist him.

Not that they could with their captors- _teammates_ watching their every interaction.

What? The blond male had already proven that he was deadly while the blonde female proved herself to be freakishly insightful. It was almost like she could read minds…

During their forced cohabitation, the Suna squad discovered firsthand just how overpowered their Konoha associates were when their admittedly comfortable camp – the blond seemed to be competent with seals and brought extra just about everything, including extra sleeping bags comfy enough to wrap up in like downy cocoons – was invaded on the third day by an Ame team looking to make a name for themselves.

It was almost surreal as the six of them, even a disturbingly silent and well-rested Gaara, sat around the campfire enjoying a hearty rabbit stew prepared by the same blond uber shinobi without a care in the world. While the six of them sat paused with spoons hovering before partially open mouths, three more copies of their excellent host shimmered into existence and proceeded to trounce their rude visitors.

Without further distraction, Naruto resumed his very tame conversation with Kankuro about how he prepared the rabbits he'd trapped to the background sounds of Amegakure shinobi yelping in pain to a soundtrack of clone fists pummeling human flesh. His entire blasé demeanor about their suffering only cemented Temari's unrealistic impression of him enhancing her pressing need to get as far away from him, his team, and Konoha in general.

As far as she was concerned about Konoha, there be monsters there and where monsters be, she could live quite happily without.

Ninety seconds later and three rather rude visitors found themselves secured in B-grade shinobi wire and hanging by their ankles from the nearest tree branch like bright yellow bats.

The entire Sabaku squad felt their father, er, Kazekage was a fool to tempt the sleeping monster that was Konoha, a belief that remained as another brace of clones made to hoist their guests like self-heating sacks of potatoes. Obviously, this provoked a rather heated exchange between the clone and his suspected passenger.

"Look, I don't have all day to debate this with you," the now eyebrow twitching blond was barking to the makeup-wearing shinobi, "so either you saddle up or we do this the uncomfortable way!"

Kankurō blanched almost immediately.

"Not happening, _shortstack_!"

Now both eyebrows were going.

"Hey, for what it's worth, we don't think you should fight this as it won't end prettily for ya!"

The war-painted Genin turned on his peanut gallery with gnashing teeth and a snarling, "Hey!" Unfortunately, he paused almost immediately to blink in confusion since he really didn't know which one of the now ten or so bodies hanging upside down said that. _'When did the others show up?'_

"See… here you… _nevermind!_ I'm not ridin' bitch and that's all there is to it!" Somehow, he didn't feel very confident with the many flat stares being shot back his way, so he did what any red-blooded male did when backed into a corner – he blustered.

"Just cause he punked you lot doesn't mean he can do the same to me!" The puppeteer folded his arms across his lean chest with authority, punctuation his bravado with a huff of manly air.

"Uncomfortable sack it is then!" someone behind him happily chirped.

Before he could do more than make his eyes open wide in outrage, Kankurō found himself leaning sharply to his left to avoid the hand swiping at his forehead. Proud at his effort to dodge the slim sheet of paper he caught in the speeding palm, he paused to perform another manly feat: "The Dreaded Gloat."

That pause to inhale copious amounts of righteous air to brag is what caused him to miss the second hand zooming by from his left side as it slapped the sticky paper to his forehead with a resounding _SCHWACK!_

He had all of two seconds to realize his mistake before his entire chakra network seized up tipping him over like a sack of potatoes and onto the shoulder of the waiting clone, which promptly stood up to begin carrying him away.

"We tried to warn you," another upside-down voice catcalled.

"Shut. Up."

Kankurō's face blossomed into a brilliant shade of red from being both partially inverted (without chakra to regulate his blood flow) and being carried like a wounded goat. It did nothing to ease the burn of their laughter as the clone carted him off into the trees to wait for the others to catch up.

Gaara and Temari both snapped their heads to the remaining three blonds, one of which had to be the original, with well-rested acceptance on one of their faces and alarmed shock on the other, despite her claim of being the consummate professional kunoichi.

"Are either of you going to be another pain in my ass today or should I just seal you up like your brother?" Naruto offered with a remarkable amount of calm behind his voice, the last part directed to the blonde Genin on the other team.

Gaara shrugged once, not even turning to share a look with his sister. For his part, he'd had the best three nights of sleep of his entire life and could use another three or four, to be honest. Losing "Mother's" voice was a bit disconcerting, at first, but the peace and quiet, backed by several very hearty meals and the most comfortable sleeping bag he'd ever seen, had done wonders for his disposition (once the blond terror promised that he'd return his mother to him, that is).

If he didn't, he'd be sure to get Baki to undo whatever it was this Naruto had done to him so he could present his warm blood to mother once she returned.

Understanding that causing a disturbance would provide no assistance, he calmly approached one of the clones and clambered onto his back as his bearer prepared to leap up after his male sibling. He did have one question though as he got comfortable.

"Do you have any more of those – I believe you called them biscuits?"

The clone blinked before turning to look at the original, who merely smiled and dug out the sealing scrolls with their rations for the week. With a smile and a quick pulse of chakra, he slapped a clear plastic sleeve holding an entire pack of shortbread cookies into the now smiling jinchūriki's hand right before the clone jumped away.

Apparently, his fellow container had a sweet tooth.

"Oi! Mind sharing a few of those with us?!"

Naruto pointedly ignored his upside-down guests and locked eyes with the sole Sand kunoichi fiddling nervously with the hem of her battle kimono. Yes, Naruto could see hugging her left thigh the mesh poking out from beneath the hem. No, the functionally short length for her garment did not make the prospect of receiving a piggyback ride appealing and he understood her discomfort.

He just didn't care and wanted to see how far he could push her.

"Well?" He seemed almost casual about hoisting her up on his back like it was an everyday event.

"I can travel on my own," she heatedly shot back.

Naruto could see her fingers twitching as if they wanted to fling open her _Kyodai Sensu_ , or giant folding fan. Both Shikamaru and Ino could literally feel the tension building in the air as their showdown dragged on.

"Sack of potatoes number two it is," Naruto sighed out as he prepared to step forward while Temari dropped immediately into a defensive stance.

"Hold on, Naruto!"

Both paused to turn and face the pineapple haired Nara.

"Don't have time for her bullshit or your slick-talking, Nara." Naruto could see her confusion and figured her darting eyes had noticed the Nara's wince of discomfort.

"I'm just thinking there has to be a better way to resolve this other than bundling people up like cordwood."

There was a long, drawn-out pause before the vessel answered with a heavy sigh and a quick, "Two minutes then we're moving with or without her cooperation."

It was a much relieved Temari voluntarily climbing onto the blond's back (Shikamaru liked her but he wasn't enamored enough to haul her through the jungle on his back as that would be too troublesome when clones worked pretty well for that) wearing a spare pair of Ino's battle shorts. She even offered to wash them before returning them, which Ino thought was very considerate of the red-faced girl from the desert.

Both teams made a vision-blurring dash through the forest to their final destination for the second stage. In their wake, at least a dozen Genin from various villages dangled from the large boughs of their campsite tree like a sequential collection of holiday bat ornaments.

"Hey! What about us?!" one raged helplessly.

There was a considerable moment of silence where the only response came from animals and insects prowling the deadly forest.

"Anyone know any good jokes before the retrievers come pick us up?" a sweat-dropped Konoha Genin from Team Iroha asked innocently.

A round of equally embarrassed sweat drops was his only answer.

~III~

Team Ten/ Asuma was conveniently close to their destination, close enough that Gaara was still happily munching on shortbread biscuits by the time the six of them touched down near the entrance. Temari, still shocked at the gentle demeanor from her baby brother, almost hated the fact that he'd need to be returned to his mostly psychotic state before too long.

"It's a piece of crap, you know that don't you?"

His voice snapped her out of her daydream of normal family life, a dream she secretly cherished and indulged in from time to time. Unable to hide the fact that he'd startled her, she defaulted to her normal brusque nature as a defense mechanism.

"What are you talking about? No what, nevermind! It's not like we'd discuss state secrets with you now that our truce is over." She turned her back on the arrogant blond and began stomping up to her sibling to drag him along.

Their "host" had their scrolls and, if the intention of the exam held true, they would all be granted entrance at the same time. If that failed, he'd collected more than enough extras to buy their entrance.

Either way, it was on him now and that more than justified her anger as she bulldozed her way to her brother's side. Then he had to go and ruin it by explaining what he meant…

"His seal is all but worthless."

Now _that_ did get her attention. Immediately. It was also enough to dry out her mouth, not that camping in the woods didn't make morning breath turn into morning-afternoon-and evening breath. This was worry-induced dehydration.

"W-W-What brand of crazy are you talking about now?" Temari tried not to wince at her initial stutter hoping he'd be too busy staring at her ass to notice.

She winced internally when she turned around sharply to see his eyes locked on her face instead. _'Damnit!'_ The flat look on his face was proof enough that he wasn't buying her innocent act.

"Do you really want to discuss those 'state secrets' out here in the open?"

"I'm not discussing anything with you!" she all but roared back. "Keep your nose out of Suna affairs!" This time it was a hissing snarl as she turned to stalk away deeper into the tower only to realize he hadn't opened it yet.

"Raaarrrrgh! Let's go, fearless leader!" The mocking tone in her voice didn't cover up her uneasiness at his line of inquiry but Naruto complied, commenting as he brushed by her.

"Fight it all you want but someday, one day when you least want it to, that crappy seal is going to break completely and Shukaku is going to be free for good." Tossing down the now open scrolls with the help of a clone, he glanced up from the billowing smoke to lock eyes with her.

"What will you do when you can't put the genie back in the bottle?"

The calm certainty in his voice made her hesitate even as her Jounin sensei took form alongside another Jounin with a burst of harmless smoke.

"H-How do you know? Are you a sensor?" All of her anger was gone the moment he mentioned the one-tail's name.

The half-smile on his face did not ease her conscious as he turned fully to face her, his eyes bleeding from that deep blue she secretly loved past a foreboding purple to an angry red with dark slashes running vertically through them. Both her legs seized up along with her spine as the air began to press down on her lungs.

She knew that feeling. She'd felt it before right before Gaara ground someone into bloody chunks.

"Not really, not yet a decent one anyway." He stepped closer only for her to match it by taking a single step away from him, her Jounin opening his mouth to congratulate them only to pause with the unusual dynamic playing out.

"I just know my brothers and sisters when I meet them."

He held her gaze for another half minute before letting the youki fade from his eyes as he stalked off into the tower leaving a very shaken Sabaku no Temari in his wake, the oppressive, spine-tingling terror fading with him as he walked away.

~III~

The dynamic inside the tower over the next few days was boringly predictable for the blond vessel. What else would he expect after the show he put on in the forest over the last three days? Given that there were several teams in the tower before they arrived, it proved to be a fairly lively place despite his desire to be left alone.

In between dodging the few rookie Genin of his class that made it to the tower first and catching a bite to eat in peace, he had plenty of time to reflect on his performance during the second stage. To be honest, he was more exhausted than he wanted to admit, his chakra control still not back to its pre-summons bonding levels. Overloading his clones so they could put up a decent fight in the forest had been incredibly taxing leaving him closer to real fatigue at the end of his quick bout with Gaara in the forest than he realized. It had taken more acting skills than he thought he possessed to project his bravado and keep them all safe without succumbing to a debilitating slumber by the lake, something he swore not to feel again if he could help it.

Last night's undisturbed rest had made a world of difference as his resident worked to refill his very depleted reserves.

 _'Deception is a shinobi's strongest tool.'_

The next thirty days would see him back in fighting trim otherwise the final rounds would leave him vulnerable and he found that outcome unacceptable.

Temari and her siblings, for the most part, stayed away from him. If he spotted them inside the tower at all, it was as they were frantically trying to pull Gaara away from the "Biscuit Pusher" from Konoha, much to Naruto's continued amusement. The fact that he only saw them around the mealtimes posted in the tower commissary tugging a sleepy-eyed Gaara around by the linked arms of his stuffed Tanuki told him that the insomniatic vessel was still catching up on much-needed sleep. It would be a shame to restore his chakra, and the bijū's toxic access to him, the morning of the fifth day.

It would be an even greater shame to have to kill him knowing the Ichibi would fight tooth and claw to prevent being isolated again. How to fix that? Hmmm...

Dropping off his empty tray at the bussing station, he moved quickly out of the rapidly filling mess hall and made his way to his latest hangout spot – the upper seats of the tower arena. Plopping down into a random seat, Naruto enjoyed the brief moment of silence right before his newest conversationalist slid quietly into the seat beside him, his smile slowly worming its way onto the right side of his face.

"Greetings." Naruto's voice was the sound of serenity.

The lidded eyes of his company sparkled just enough to betray his excitement as his teal orbs darted around the vacant battleground, his head bobbing once with affirmation that he'd heard him.

"The usual?"

Without comment, the small hand slid a neatly wrapped package onto the arm of Naruto's seat before withdrawing to idly tap on the knee of its owner.

Agonizingly slowly did he reach over to lift the object carefully peeling back a corner to inspect the contents.

"Will this cause you problems?"

The patch of spiky auburn hair flipped about as the smaller figure shook his head in the negative. "It's his spare set."

Naruto nodded once approvingly, his mouth wrinkling up to show he was impressed. "I think this deserves a bonus," he casually countered even as he slid two sleeves of fresh biscuits across to the large smile at his side.

"I wonder, Gaara, if you've ever heard of 'Pocky' before?" he asked gently shaking the pink-colored box held aloft in his right hand.

~III~

* * *

Itachi was having a hell of a time keeping a straight face, something not normally an issue for the stoic clan murderer to accomplish. Today, however, it was incredibly difficult with his partner ranting and raving in their secret hideout in the northern forests of Hi no Kuni. He tried not to flinch as the still rather excited shark man pulverized another wooden box of supplies in the background.

"What do you mean, 'he ran away,' Itachi?"

Itachi tried not to focus on the deep concern evident in Leader-sama's voice or how Leader-sama's eyes seemed to spear right through him. "I mean just that; he turned and moved at maximum speed for two straight hours until we returned here."

He was trying to ignore the childish giggling coming from the other spectral figures sitting atop the fingers of the Gedō Mazō. Internally he was swearing that if that bloody Deidara snickered at him one more bloody time, just one more bloody…

"I fail to understand why – what is the matter Itachi? Are you under attack?" Leader-sama clearly noticed when Itachi's entire spectral image flickered violently for just a moment. Since every other spectral figure, except for Kisame who was busy trashing another defenseless supply item and swearing like a lunatic in the background, was enjoying his discomfort, that meant they all noticed it as well.

"Oh, it's not important, Leader-sama." Itachi's image actually fidgeted as his eyes looked about nervously.

Itachi Uchiha was never openly nervous. For frack's sake, he yawned as he beat down one of the fraggin' Sannin.

Konan's soothing voice interjected itself into the conversation. "Now, this goes along with what we talked about at our last session, Itachi-kun."

Itachi's spectral cheeks pinked just a bit at the cooing catcalls from his fellow nukenins.

"This goes in part," she continued as her spectral image appeared on the same finger Itachi's inhabited, "to dealing with your reluctance to accepting new bonds with your new peers. You need to let us in. No one here will mock your pain." She cut her eyes at the tittering going on between Hidan and Deidara even as her spectral hand rested on Itachi's forearm.

With a deep breath, Itachi hesitantly confessed to feeling a disturbance in the Pocky-verse, a comment that immediately silenced the childish giggling of his Akatsuki peers and caused both Pein and Konan to glance at each other in concern; it was widely lauded among the Akatsuki rank and file (largely encouraged by Kisame wanting to mess with Deidara) that Itachi's unraveling leading to the slaughter of his entire clan began with their ridicule of his very real Pocky addiction followed by a subsequent lack of the strawberry flavored treat at the end of a "very bad day" for the fugitive.

"Okay then." Itachi looked down to Konan's gently smiling avatar. "I want to schedule another session with you away from group time, Itachi-kun. Is that okay with you?"

The Uchiha exile tried not to groan as he nodded, noticing with his Sharingan that Leader-sama's hand was surreptitiously shooing away his peers as they vanished one at a time.

"This time, Itachi-kun, I want to focus on your relationship with your mother…"

The clan prince's left eye spasmed violently.

* * *

Gaara's confusion at why his new favorite future victim would try to impede on his favorite new obsession lasted only until he'd plucked one of the skinny treats from its cardboard container to tentatively nibble on the icing covered end. The blossoming of understanding as his normally lidded eyes expanded to their widest was a sight to behold, one that came with a childish sort of glee for Naruto as his siblings would invariably try to curtail the vessel's latest addiction.

Sometimes corrupting the next generation was a pleasure all on its own.

"Naruto!"

Both sacrifices looked up from their private little interaction to see Naruto's spiky-headed teammate at the lower row of the observation deck waving for him to join him, Gaara frantically – while trying to be inconspicuous and failing horribly – stuffing his ill-gotten-gains into his gourd for safekeeping.

Naruto sighed once before rising out of his chair while motioning for Gaara that everything was okay, the one-tail casually rising to walk down the stairs and past the taller Nara, slowly at first then at a panicked shuffle as he hurriedly scooted by as if he was late for some important meeting. Naruto took the raised eyebrow of his teammate in stride as he joined him by the safety railing.

"Bonding with your favorite psychopath, Naruto?"

"He's a sociopath, big difference," Naruto countered.

Shikamaru didn't appear to be convinced on the merits of that argument so he moved on. "They're calling for us to assemble with our teams."

Naruto's right eyebrow shot upwards, but he shrugged it off walking past his teammate without a word. _'So much for a full recovery.'_

A few minutes found both of them lined up with their kunoichi teammate. To his surprise, there must have been three-dozen squads lined up in a half-circle before the Kage's box and suddenly the desire to end the second phase early made more sense. With this many contestants, Konoha would need to hold one hell of a preliminary if they wanted a manageable competition.

From his position at the rear of his squad, Naruto frowned. This many people trying to outdo one another would mean lots of unnecessary bloodshed and, despite his current crappy dynamic, he didn't want to see either of his teammates crippled or killed. Having no solution for the latest crap story of his life, his gaze began to sweep the group waiting for someone of importance to tell them what was going on.

Glancing over the gathered throng of anxious future killers, his eyes caught sight of the flame-haired Ichibi vessel two rows over, oddly enough having surrendered the leader spot at the front to his older, and somewhat confused, sister. Why became readily apparent once he noticed the boy's left hand as it moved ever so slowly up along his torso until a fresh Pocky stick shot into his mouth, his eyes happily crinkling closed as he tried to quietly munch on his new treat.

It was almost enough to ease his concerns until a fresh wave of animosity hit him from his left side. Lazily turning his head that way to see whose panties were in a bunch, he almost snickered out loud when he came eye-to-eye with the Iwa Rock Princess.

With a very dismissive snort, he turned back to the front of the gathering just in time to see the Sandaime Hokage take center stage joined very closely by a scantily-clad hottie.

"Alright brats, listen up!"

The collective sweat drops across the entire group did nothing to make the Tokubetsu Jounin pause.

"Good on ya for not getting deaders in the forest, but don't get cocky! You may be done with this stage but you're not out of the woods yet." Anko's eyes swept the crowd sparkling briefly as she found her favorite Gaki.

With that, she stepped back and bowed to the Hokage before finding a comfy spot off to the side surprisingly close to the Nadeshiko and Yuki rulers, much to Naruto's chagrin. Oddly enough, both of them blowing him a kiss once he recognized their faces only made him more of a target when many of the males realized who they were flirting with within the group of smitten Genin.

He was so embarrassed, he failed to notice the buxom blonde from Kumo hiding just out of sight.

He did, however, reach up to rub the back of his head when he realized not all of the annoying _KI_ being directed his way was coming from males.

"Ah, thank you, Anko-chan." The Sandaime's voice turned outwards to address both the Genin and his group of VIPs.

"Your proctor is right in congratulating you for a job well done. Konoha's forest survival test always ranks fairly high on the casualty list so you should be doubly proud of your achievement in making it this far and in the numbers that you did doing so." He paused to sweep the young faces below enjoying as their nervousness began to bleed away into self-satisfaction. He so enjoyed being able to mess with young minds and still be seen as the "good guy."

"That said, she is right in saying that you cannot rest on your laurels at this point for the most dangerous part of the exam is yet to remain." _'There it is, that first whiff of hesitation.'_ "I won't bore you with the history of these exams and why they have become the default substitute for the bloody warfare of the Warring Clans Era our modern villages evolved from nor the world wars we all bled under. If your respective academies have not schooled you on those facts, your Jounin senseis can instruct you during this interlude between the second and final stage. No," he paused once more for dramatic effect, "what you should be focusing on his how your team will prepare themselves over the next thirty days for the final test.

"You are of course, free to remain here in Konoha and train. We will afford you every opportunity to do so in our humble village, however, I would imagine you'd like to keep a surprise or two for the final matches." Many of the Jounin leads in the stands chuckled at that.

"We want you all to do well and believe that EVERY Genin deserves the right to compete on the same stage. That is why Konoha has proposed, and it gives me great pleasure to announce that every hidden village - as backed by their respective Daimyos, has agreed to support, what we are calling the Chunin Exam Festival."

Hiruzen continued over their excited murmurs.

"When you return in thirty days, the final phase of this exam will encompass not one but five days of thrills and excitement setting a proper backdrop for your courage and daring. As such, the first two days will be a hosted grand festival showcasing vendors and delights from all of the elemental nations leading up to two days of strife in the Grand Arena where you will battle it out, first as part of challenging team battles on the third day then followed on the fourth day by individual competition. For those that survive, we'll celebrate your successes, and your losses, with a grand feast intended to foster comradery among the nations."

Naruto noticed that the eyes of his future Genin competitors weren't the only ones lighting up in approval.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you'll be prepared so that is why we won't be announcing brackets for the competition in advance." His eyes swept the Genin squads as cold steel flickered behind the old man's eyes.

"Go and train yourselves to your utmost, Genin. Serve your Kage's well and prepare yourselves for the fight of your lives."

With that, the old man turned away to wrap up conversations with the numerous Daimyo and Kages looking to jockey for position during what would eventually become a week-long opportunity to make substantial profit among the vendor stalls. A lot of horse-trading would be needed to glean the best locations in or around the stadium where most of this would be set up.

None of that, however, prevented two very perturbed voices from crying out among the Genin competitors-to-be in order to make their displeasure known to the object of their future affections.

"NARUTO/ NARUTO-KUN!"

His entire body shot to rigid attention even as several males nearby snickered at his misfortune.

"Oh, would you look at the time?!"

And with that announcement, Naruto Uzumaki made a tactical retreat fleeing from the tower and into the trees of Training Ground Forty-Four barely remembering to dispatch a clone to retrieve his belongings from his team's shared room.

Inside the arena floor, two very annoyed kunoichis shot heated glares at each other before shooting off after their prey, their unspoken agreement being hashed out in the Great Girl Code as one activated her Byakugan, on the run, to better track his chakra trail. The other irate female began preparing two or three dozen pointy implements to help pin him in place for a much-needed conversation.

~III~


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N:** Oh, this was a bear to clean up and edit due to the chapter size. Still, I've been promising the Chunin Exams as the answer to a lot of questions for at least a dozen chapters now. Many of you probably think it's a bit overdue.

Don't shoot the messenger. Remember, you _asked_ for these answers...

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 40: Looking More than Underneath**_

~III~

* * *

" _A ninja doesn't save himself. He protects those who cannot protect themselves." - Cole Brookstone_

~III~

" _NARUTO/ NARUTO-KUN!"_

Hiruzen turned briefly to watch Naruto dash out of the tower arena followed closely by the Hyūga heiress and a kunoichi with her hair rolled tightly into buns. To be honest, the sight warmed his heart; the boy needed friends if there was any hope of keeping him tied to the village. So much for the better if those friends were females after his heart.

Speaking of females after the young shinobi's heart…

The youngest rulers in the collective were giggling and chatting amicably next to the reserved Kumo representative, their eyes focused on the back of the departing blond. Perhaps he should arrange for a state dinner to discuss their intentions? But first…

Hiruzen locked onto a familiar mask and the figure glided silently over to kneel before its Hokage.

" _Kūren_ , please make sure he's there on time."

With a single bob of its hooded head, the lanky servant of the Great Tree vanished in a swirl of leaves and wind.

Hiruzen, as if nothing untoward or intriguing had just happened, smiled as he joined his fellow dignitaries in discussing his changes to the Second and Third stages of the Chunin Exam and what it could mean for their villages in terms of opportunity and prosperity.

Secure in his Kazekage disguise, an annoyed Orochimaru silently fumed. He would either need to find a way to force the other villages to bow out of attending or find a way to keep them from getting involved.

~III~

By the grace of the Great Noodle God, an unmolested Naruto Uzumaki crouched high above the busy street traffic of the Market District of Konoha as hundreds of people shuffled and jostled about beneath him. Sure, the occasional nin dashed by on some important bit of work, one or two even nodding casually in his direction to receive an equally cordial greeting in return but that wasn't his main concern at the moment. To be honest, he wasn't much concerned for the two kunoichis below that met in the busy business heart of the village before sharing a possessive glare for each other as they darted off in separate directions, each equally committed to finding their quarry before the other huntress.

No, he was lost in the moment, his eyes taking in the happy smiles and friendly conversations taking place below his feet as his mind peripherally registered the fact that he might never be welcome among them.

It didn't matter that he fought and bled to keep them safe.

It didn't matter that he was the sole reason the great Nine-Tailed Fox hadn't turned the very land beneath his feet into a smoking crater, crushing their bones beneath its massive paws (he could hear the fox purring at such an image).

All that mattered was that he wasn't welcome among them. All that mattered was he was good enough to die _for_ them but not good enough to live _with_ them.

And that made all the difference.

"Uzumaki-sama."

' _Well, that was certainly a new one,'_ he silently remarked. Turning to glance up awkwardly into the mask of his personal ANBU stalker, the formerly last Uzumaki stood up to speak with the lanky Crane.

"You know I don't go much for formalities, right?"

"Of course, Uzumaki-sama."

Naruto's right eyebrow twitched and, for just a second, he knew what it felt like to be the Toad Sage, the very same Sage sitting in the Cherry Blossom as a surge of vindication shot through his entire body (he ignored the sudden desire to pump one of his beefy fists in the air as it was currently gripping the soft bum of a pretty brunette).

"What do they want from me now, Crane-san?"

A slender scroll with a green wax seal materialized in the figure's hand and Naruto's shoulders sagged visibly. Gold seals bore the mark of the Daimyo, red the Hokage, white the various clan heads, but green bore the stamp of the Council. Breaking the flaky wax, he unspooled the short document so his eyes could devour the unnecessarily flowery script.

"Of course, they do," the blond heir groused.

An hour later, a freshly showered and formally-dressed Uzumaki royal strolled calmly into the Council chamber with his personal attendant hovering just past his left elbow. Keeping his dress simple, he opted for Navy blue Montsuki and kaku-obi combination bearing the Uzumaki crest in red over both shoulders, the royal blue of the Uzumaki heavily accented by a black Hakama and Tabi. Haku was resplendent in an ivory Komon-style kimono lightly dusted with medium-sized baby blue snowflakes.

It was almost as if time stood still reminiscent of an old western movie standoff, both sides of the Council hawking the boy for vastly different reasons.

A large number of the civilians sitting comfortably to his left had dollar signs floating in their eye sockets, the disgusted _tsking_ of his tenant echoing in his mindscape. Several of them had taken to bringing their heirs to meetings under the premise of preparing them to take over for their clan heads. While he couldn't argue it, the fact that every heir in attendance was female and at least a third of those attending were staring at him as if her were a haunch of venison right before meal time annoyed him.

The shinobi side of the room were giving off mixed vibes, enough so that the Kyuubi refused to comment citing her burgeoning headache. Before the great bijuu silenced the link, she rattled off shame, regret, embarrassment, and pride, the last of which confused him since it appeared to be a common theme among them.

Not wanting to sort through the quagmire, he pushed those revelations to the side focusing on the austere leader of their village.

Hiruzen rose from his chair and bowed formally to the Uzumaki Prince shocking the gathered council members greatly as the village pariah inclined his head in return. Before any of the flustered could verbally lash out…

"ANBU, please provide a chair befitting the Uzushio Daimyo so that we can begin."

You could have heard a pin drop as two agents brought two very different seats in for the standing dignitaries, a mid-backed one for the petite but taller female and a high-backed, well-cushioned one for Naruto.

Naruto could see the crafty smile turning up the corners of the Hokage's mouth indicating the man had something up his billowy sleeves. While not unusual, it was concerning. No doubt he was enjoying the brief interplay as the members of his annoying council took their seats for the first time without the village pariah being threatened with bodily harm. Instead, Hiruzen struck the gavel plate in front of his seat and called the meeting to order.

"I believe you had an offer to present, Councilman Sugimoto."

Another sweaty bureaucrat rose to offer a hasty bow. _'Ah, I remember this man. He was the one arguing for me to become the Old Man's replacement while marrying his skinny daughter, the hypocrite.'_

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." The perpetually sweaty man lifted a manila folder filled with a sheaf of pristine paper pressed between its folds. Scurrying around the civilian table and extending the motley collection with both hands, the sweaty man repeatedly bowed his way back to his seat but did not sit right away. Naruto tried to ignore the damp spots left behind by the slimy palms that bore it, instead bending his neck no more than necessary to acknowledge the gift.

It took a supreme force of will on his part _not_ to wince at the rancid waves of sweat, his eyes flickering from the stack of paperwork, up to the nervously twitching body of the human imitating a fishing bobber, and his embarrassed Ji-.

' _No, I suppose he may never be my Jiji again. He's the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato and I need to remember that.'_

"If I may ask esteemed Councilor, what am I holding?" To be honest, he had a good feeling that he was sure of the folder's contents, but he was hoping the Hokage had more control of his village than this.

"Why certainly, Uzumaki-sama." Naruto winced internally. "These are profiles of the eligible women volunteering for your CRA initiative."

The look on the man's chubby face was hopeful but inside Naruto died just a bit. _'Well, no better time than the present to check off another item on the list.'_

With a sigh, he rose gracefully from his seat and stepped over to calmly set the bachelorette profiles in front of the man proffering their daughters like cattle, much to Councilor Sugimoto's shocked dismay.

"I'm sure they are all lovely young ladies, the pride of Konoha. But this is not necessary for me and insulting for them." Odd that instead of angry shouts and rants from the civilians he saw silent confusion and curiosity - mostly from the softly blushing girls standing behind their greedy parents.

"B-B-But… why not?"

Naruto couldn't help but notice how quickly the formality faded away when the wheels began falling off the cabbage cart. "It's simple really." He tried not to laugh out loud at their apparent surprise and disappointment.

"It's not needed because I won't be staying in the Konoha armed forces."

Several sets of eyes on both sides of the chamber were beginning to bulge in a very unpleasant manner.

"Effective immediately, I tender my resignation from the Konoha Shinobi Corps."

This time pandemonium in the chamber did ensue.

~III~

* * *

"Move your ass, Akatsuchi!"

The big Iwa nin grimaced as he rapidly threw his belongings into his trusty travel chest. Kuro-chan was in a right foul mood, more so than usual and everyone in the Iwa contingent knew exactly why.

The forest event was supposed to be her big opportunity to get to the Yellow Flash wanna-be, her big chance to make absolutely sure that he died at her hands but he'd escaped them all. Oh, how she ranted and swore the entire way to the Tower - once she was one-hundred percent sure she'd exhausted every opportunity to hunt him down.

As it were, they'd barely made it to the Tower in time. Gasping, lungs burning, limbs twitching, her team reached the sealed doors and solved the entry riddle not five minutes before the deadline but no one challenged her on it, much to his annoyance.

He wasn't afraid of her. In fact, he thought people catered to her far too much as it was. being the granddaughter of the Tsuchikage didn't give you the right to be an absolute ass to everyone else.

He had to pause for a second as he considered the man holding the title and reconsidered that opinion.

"You're gonna get left behind, chunky-butt!"

He grimaced again but bit back the scathing retort at the tip of his tongue. They would lose at least four days of training just traveling to and from Iwagakure. These were unnecessary delays where he could be preparing for the dangerous teams he recognized at the final ceremony earlier today. It, unfortunately, made sense that their training should be kept secret from Konoha spies.

Akatsuchi just wasn't looking forward to the travel time.

Rather than comment, he slapped the chest closed, locked the three separate tumblers, then slung the straps over his shoulders as he thumped his way to the hotel lobby. Slapping the room key on the counter as he passed outside to his waiting team, the only Iwa team to survive the first two phases, he swore softly remembering he left his shampoo upstairs.

One look at the simmering hatred behind his cousin's eyes and he immediately wrote off the loss, his heavy footsteps shaking the earth as Kuro-chan immediately began stalking her way to the main gate, two hours of remaining daylight be damned.

He couldn't help but worry about the next thirty days.

* * *

 **~ Hokage Tower, Council Chamber ~**

Hiruzen, as was becoming part of a disturbingly regular occurrence was sitting in his Chamber Chair staring blankly at Minato Namikaze's son trying to reconcile the utter failure that had been his attempt to safeguard and rear the child as a strong Konoha shinobi. As was also becoming part of a disturbingly regular habit, he was mentally apologizing for somehow failing the boy's departed parents as he watched the child's detached curiosity at the angrily or shocked reactions from the council members in the same chamber. It was Naruto's turn to face him, a half-smile on his lips as his right eyebrow rose just enough to indicate his humor, that snapped him out of his momentary fugue to regain control of the ongoing chaos.

The old man's right hand rose from the table, filled with chakra, then struck the metal gong plate bringing resounding silence as the booming reverberation of his palm faded away to nothing.

"One at a time esteemed Councilors," a phrase that took more control than he currently felt. "He cannot answer your questions if you shout them all at once."

With a nod to Hiashi, he surrendered the floor as quiet order reluctantly resumed.

"Uzumaki-san," the Hyuuga began only to flinch when the Uzu Daimyo turned a disapproving glare on him.

"My apologies, Uzumaki-omo." He offered a short bow but pressed on nonetheless. "I was wondering why you retiring from the shinobi forces would prevent you from partaking in the Konoha-sponsored CRA?"

"Hyuuga-san, as the Daimyo for my country, and with the intent to resurrect Uzushio from the waves, I cannot be beholden to another power even if it is an ally as old as Konoha."

Hiruzen caught the subtle tone in his words as did the astute shinobi clan heads now reeling their minds back to the alleged history between the two villages.

"While the plan is to have multiple heirs, per similar rules concerning the royal family of Uzu, any brides will need to be vetted by the new Uzukage and our shinobi intelligence forces, small though their number may be."

This brought several confused stares, most of which were blinking uncontrollably.

"Troublesome. Are you telling us that you already have a Kage selected?"

Hiruzen's stomach plummeted before Naruto's smile could grow even larger, which it did.

"Of course, Nara-san." Naruto pulsed his chakra once releasing enough energy to make the hair on the nape of every person in the room, civilian and shinobi alike, stand on end.

"Allow me to introduce you to my new Kage, the Yondaime Uzukage for the yet-to-be-reestablished Uzushiogakure no Sato," he paused as the double doors to the chamber opened to admit a figure in flowing ebony robes trimmed in bright blood red kanji, "Keina Uzumaki, S-ranked kunoichi and twin sister of former Uzu no Kuni Ambassador, Kushina Uzumaki."

Surprisingly enough, the civilian side of the chamber did not erupt into chaos - they were too busy trying to find suitable males to woo the admittedly attractive kunoichi to their individual causes. Several of the shinobi Clan Heads, however, were shocked into some form of action, the most prominent being Tsume Inuzuka, former close friend and partner in crime to the boy's deceased mother.

How could Naruto have known that Yoshino Nara and Tsume Inuzuka once made up the members of his mother's all-kunoichi Genin team? The brash Inuzuka Alpha never offered to share those stories, never offered to aide or shelter the child even at his lowest point growing up. How could he know?

His mother's sister, however, did know given the secret correspondence they shared over the years through the clan's messenger summons. Keina knew exactly who was supposed to help look out for her sister's Sochi, now her Sochi, and she was less than impressed with their sudden bout of fidelity.

That is exactly why Tsume's shell-shocked reaction as she rose from her chair whispering a tearful "Kushina" snapped the now annoyed redhead's attention over to the dog-nin slowly staggering her way around the table presumably to embrace the carbon copy of Kushina Uzumaki.

"Wrong!" Her harsh tone backed by just a touch of her formidable _KI_ stopped Tsume in her tracks. "My nee-chan died over fifteen years ago. Do not confuse me for your long-lost opportunity to make amends."

While harsh, they all needed to hear that.

"But... where?... why?... _How?!_ "

Keina calmly raised a palm-covered by black fingerless combat gloves bearing metal plates with the Uzu spiral. "You will need to ask your Hokage for those details." Several eyes questioningly shot over to their village leader.

"All you need understand is that I have resumed my clan duties as the Uzukage for our new Daimyo," her hands settled gently on the former blond Genin's shoulders, "and Uzushio will support its long-term allies one last time during their upcoming Chunin Exam Festival, our Daimyo fulfilling his Genin obligations as previously agreed to."

Her narrowed eyes made perfectly clear of which part of the finals she was referring to. Despite his trepidation, Hiruzen nodded his head once in understanding.

"Come, Daimyo-sama." She stepped aside to allow Naruto to leave ahead of her followed by his personal assistant on his left flank. Even as she took guard station to his right-hand side, her smile continued to grow with the satisfaction of something she'd been wanting to do for over fifteen years.

Her nephew was finally free of the last set of Konoha chains trapping him to this miserable village.

~III~

Despite the resulting chaos of what should have been a routine Council Meeting, Hiruzen escaped to his office with only another half hour of restricting information to his more than demanding Councilors, for once the shinobi side being the more demanding headache. As a group, they sought answers as to how long he'd known about another surviving Uzu royal and why it hadn't been shared with at least key shinobi leaders - despite the echoing outrage from the civilian side of the room.

Hiruzen snidely threw the release of Naruto's existence as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki back in their faces and enjoyed their shrinking shame. None of them knew it was Danzo and the elders that released it so, as far as they were concerned, the perpetrators could still be in Konoha. They could be in that very chamber for all they knew.

That put an immediate damper on the remaining interrogation.

Sinking into his now well-worn office chair, Hiruzen was wondering how long it would take before the news reached his remaining student and in whatever mangled form that infor-.

"What the _HELL_ sensei? Kushina's back from the dead?!"

 _'Welp, that answered that question.'_ "Come in Jiraiya so we can discuss the truth vice your hot tub rumor-mongering." The old man waited for five heartbeats as his student made himself comfortable on the well-worn office couch, snickering as the sage got his hand smacked away from the hidden kunoichi sharing one end of the plush accommodations.

"No, Kushina is still dead. Yes, she had a twin sister." Hiruzen thought the idea of triplets might be a bit much for his student at the moment.

Jiraiya's one-track mind cut him off before he could share more with a blurted, "Damn! I hope she's hot!"

Hiruzen's facepalm did little to stop the man's slobbering blush. Instead, he decided sidetracking the unrepenting perv with work would be best for both of them.

"Tell me something good about Danzo's former black-ops empire." The old man's satisfied smirk as Jiraiya's face took on a serious tint was more than enough for the moment.

"Ibiki and the Yamanaka have their hands full reintegrating what remains of Root. So far, only a dozen or so have had to be terminated having been deemed 'unrecoverable' but the rest appear to have been conditioned to serve for the betterment of Konoha. It's a small victory but we'll take it."

"Will they be ready in time for the finals and how many are we talking about?"

"Ibiki seems to believe so. With Danzo's death, the _Cursed Tongue Juinjutsu_ has faded from his _Root_ zombies making it much easier to sort things out." Jiraiya snorted feeling particularly pleased with his own greatness. "You're looking at an extra one-hundred and twenty ANBU-level operatives when all is said and done."

Hiruzen nodded happily. "Any luck locating the special team he dubbed," Hiruzen paused to glance over his notes on the matter, "the Sirens?"

"No, sorry sensei. No luck there so far but we believe they're staying under our surveillance trying to come to grips with their seals vanishing along with Danzo's death. It's a common enough theme among the operatives we captured tailing that gimpy bastard all over hell's half-acre."

"What of traction with Mifune?"

Here Jiraiya grimaced. "Not much luck there. He thanked us for the INTEL then blamed us for not curtailing Danzo's operations to begin with. Once we were quietly asked to leave the country, he promised he'd deal with the _Root_ nest in his back yard."

Hiruzen grimaced in return. He knew Mifune on a personal level and could most likely deal with the blowback but he'd still wonder about how much damage Danzo had squirreled away in his alternate base. Hopefully, Konoha could survive the fallout to their image.

"I need to get back-."

"No, Jiraiya." The old man steepled his hands in front of his face. "I need you to break your self-imposed exile for the next thirty days." He raised his hands to forestall the petulant rant. "It's time to focus on home for a bit. The barrier team will need your help and I need you to re-engage with Naruto."

"The Gaki? He and I aren't close you know."

"That's exactly my point. He's refused the Council's insipid CRA initiative and has established himself as the Uzu Daimyo."

Jiraiya goggled and sputtered in disbelief.

"If you can't reach him I fear will lose him to his aunt and the dead dream that was his former clan."

"And what's wrong with that?" Jiraiya irritably countered.

"His strength is needed here, Jiraiya. His parents sacrificed too much for him to wander about waiting for the Akatsuki to murder him."

"That's his decision, sensei. You can't force him to stay in a place that hates and suppresses him."

"That bridge can be spanned, Jiraiya. Naruto just needs to be led to understand that his chances at greatness are best tended to here in his father's homeland vice the graveyard of his ancestors."

Jiraiya sighed as if he were about to climb Hokage mountain with one hand tied behind his back. "Not this tired argument again."

Seeing his old sensei's jaw tighten in stubbornness, Jiraiya plowed on.

"Is he supposed to ignore their hatred? Is he supposed to forgive them despite no one asking or caring that he does? Why is it that Naruto needs to be the bigger man when he's the wronged party?" Jiraiya, despite being on the outs with the boy in question, was working himself into a lather.

"You forget yourself, Jiraiya. I do not answer to you."

Jiraiya, despite his moral outrage, couldn't argue against that fact and nodded his head in obeisance. The fact that the old man chose to pull rank vice answering the question was too telling to sit well with the sage.

~III~

Once outside, both Uzu royals were joined by the hooded female members of the Komodo Squad, the pale wind-based one to Haku's left, the shadow-based one to Keina's right.

"Haku-chan, please prepare a large meal tonight. Strike that," he handed her a padded yellow envelope, "have it catered and be sure to include lots of Ichiraku's."

"Of course, Naruto-sama." She bobbed a quick bow. "How many should I prepare for?"

His smile was feral. "At least a dozen. I'll be sure to have clones escorting people from the gate to the house proper."

"If I may be so bold, why the party, Sochi?"

That stopped the blond in his tracks as his mind registered the affectionate address. His three shadows froze in place waiting for some sort of response, Keina growing momentarily uncomfortable believing she may have erred up until the point where Naruto spun about and lunged at her wrapping his arms around her waist in a bear hug strong enough to force her to sheathe her entire abdomen with chakra to survive the embrace.

Haku and their two escorts immediately turned their eyes outward to watch both the nearby crowd, most of whom were absolutely confused by the females surrounding the well-dressed demon brat, and neighboring rooftops.

The pause was momentary and, all too soon for the now teary-eyed Kage, Naruto broke away to resume his pace, his voice choking up momentarily as he answered her query.

"We're having a celebration for the official beginning, no, the official rebirth of our clan." He looked over his shoulder and smiled up at his aunt-slash-adopted mother. "Please make sure all of the Squad is there."

"Sure thing, Sochi. We can discuss your training for the next month." It felt good to use the familiar address, a strange warmth blooming in her chest, until...

"Surely you're not leaving the Gallant Jiraiya out of that conversation?!"

Once again all five of them were stopped in the middle of a busy street, the fair-skinned Komodo Squad member positioning herself between her _Walker_ (Daimyo was too new to be of any consequence to her) and the latest unwanted participant in their private conversation. She'd be damned if this fool got within arm's reach, having both heard about and been the subject of the same lecherous man's appetites.

She would not allow the man to corrupt her beloved _Walker_. The humans of the elemental nations had already taken more than should be allowed from the _Umihebi_ and the Uzumaki and she was drawing a line in the proverbial sand.

Knowing full well who the two violent Komodo Squad members were (as they were in their full gear and mask ensemble), Jiraiya slowly, very slowly raised his palms to show he meant no harm.

"Easy now, let's just everyone pause a second and talk like reasonable adults."

Keina snorted drawing the toad shinobi's eyes her way. "That's ironic coming from you."

"You have me at a disadvantage, beautiful lady, as I don't believe we've been properly introduced." Undeterred by the hostile auras coming from all four women surrounding his (at least to him) godson, Jiraiya began his grand introduction only to freeze mid-pose as the pale-skinned beauty with the hourglass figure and D-cupped bosom (Jiraiya's boob-dar works just fine thank you) snapped out a metallic segmented whip, apparently pulling the wicked-looking tool from around her waist.

"Ahhahaha... I see you're not a fan of the theater," he quipped trying to ease the tension.

"Why are you following us and spying on our conversations, Jiraiya?"

Now Jiraiya was and is many things. He is brash, stubborn, hardheaded to a fault, and perverted to the core but a foolhardy shinobi he is not. While his strong sense of pride and accomplishment was raging at him to smack down the rude Genin-ranked shinobi he felt owed him more respect than that, the experienced nin able to survive against Hanzo the Salamander cautioned him to hold his tongue against the Uzu Daimyo surrounded by four battle-hardened kunoichi, two of which he knew for a fact could match him in close combat.

Trying to peek on one of them may have ended in that poignant point being driven home at kunai point.

He knew he couldn't survive two of them so he tempered his response.

"Look gaki," he paused as the dark-skinned one - he thought _Nisshoku_ was her handle - _hissed_ angrily at him. "Ahem, Daiymo-omo, I have been asked by my Hokage to offer training for the finals." He paused to make sure the women weren't about to gut him and noted the raised eyebrow on the young man all too comfortable with the current situation. "There are some things I can do to help prepare you and-."

A raised palm from the stunning redhead stopped him in his tracks.

"Please thank Hokage-dono for me but that will not be necessary," she calmly, too calmly, countered.

Jiraiya's annoyance at being disrespected and discounted was beginning to rise like bile in his throat.

"Please let him know that my training is well in hand but thank you for the offer."

In the end, the Toad Sage could only stand there flabbergasted as the Uzu quintet skirted his large frame and disappeared into the billowing Konoha shopping crowd.

~III~

It was well after dark when the ANBU squad crested the walled perimeter of what was now the Uzumaki orphan's residence, now that the Namikaze residence was officially off-limits. The self-appointed Uzu heir hadn't even altered the security seals of what was once Mizuki's familial home so bypassing those protocols took no time at all.

Silent as ghosts, Neko's squad flitted across the grounds to close in on the back yard hoping that the blueprints were still accurate; windows near the far side of the veranda should provide unobstructed views into the main dining hall of the conservative Clan Head residence.

They were not disappointed by the access, only the lack of life.

Inside was dark and motionless. The borrowed sensors assigned to her team for this mission could find no life forms or chakra signatures inside. They could, however, find the ten matching chakra signatures surrounding them in the trees.

This immediately put the team on high alert until one of the hidden signatures uncloaked on the ground right before their perch.

"Let's ignore the fact that a Konoha ANBU team is illegally spying on a diplomatic ally of Konoha. Let's ignore that your very presence here is an act of war, or at the very least an unprovoked act of aggression against a sovereign ally, and move on to you leaving via the most direct route possible, Neko-chan."

Embarrassment was the least of their worries but the affectionate address made her blush all the same. Something about the confidence in what had to be one of the gaki's clones appealed to her, however, Yugao had a job to do - and a boyfriend - so she pushed it aside.

"You would let us leave unchallenged?" she questioned back.

"Unchallenged but not unaccountable." She nodded in understanding. This would clearly be brought up, at a minimum, between the two Kage if not the Daimyos at some point. What a shit-show that would later become.

"ANBU, withdraw."

With that simple command, the five body team vanished the way they came, all the while a confused Neko wondering just where the target of their surveillance was if his party wasn't at his new estate.

~III~

* * *

 **~ The Glittering Grotto ~**

Meanwhile raucous laughter surrounded the blond subject in question as he comfortably sat lotus inside a cavern outfitted specifically for members of his clan during visits to the Grotto. He was right next to the large cavern housing the boss summons and his mate, which meant he was right above Opal, Ella, and Titus, who occupied three of the ten caverns set aside for children of the current clutch leader (apparently there had been some boss summonses with as many as seven children so the need for so many caverns had not been too wasteful in the past).

For as long as they were staying to train, the empty chambers would be adjusted to provide for his entourage, meaning Keina and Karin would be sharing a chamber next to the siblings. Haku, arguing as his personal servant and attendant, would be allowed to stay in his chambers much to Opal and Ella's unhappy and fervent protestations, objections he was sure he hadn't heard the last of during his current dinner engagement.

As it currently stood, there were several mats set along the floor around a short-legged table large enough to accommodate up to twenty human-sized bodies. With his current list of party guests, that was enough not to warrant the second and third tables to either side of the one in use used during large gatherings of the Uzumaki Clan back in their hey-day.

At one end sat Naruto, his aunt immediately to his right and his confidant, Haku, next to her right. Both appeared to be enjoying themselves and the company despite the semi-tense atmosphere at the beginning of the dinner. Oddly enough, that atmosphere came about when trying to seat the very protective Ella-hime sitting immediately to his left, followed by Opal and then Titus.

Ella felt she should have been seated at his right, the seat of honor, as she was his senior summons. Unfortunately, her argument held little weight with the presence of his aunt, another royal among the Uzumaki. It was bad enough the overprotective woman wanted to sleep in his chambers but Ella knew she couldn't win every objection and contented herself with surrendering the seat of honor.

Directly across from Titus (and next to Haku) sat his cousin Karin. Now you might find this odd considering she was family and technically outranked Haku, however, Naruto and Keina both insisted on this arrangement and it appeared to be working as they'd hoped given Titus' fixation with the red-faced Karin directly across from him. Her persistent blush only increased throughout the night as she realized that his human form was a benefit to being a Celestial-class summons that just happened to be aligned with the Uzumaki Clan and available to be bonded with her, should she prove interested in the arrangement.

Judging by her incessant blush and the occasional trickle of blood from her nostrils, the idea more than appealed to her.

Naruto and Keina shared more than the occasional toast in that regard.

From there, the list of guests continued with the Komodo Squad alternating on either side of the table before Regnus and Magnus rounded out the list of standard guests and you got to Poseidus at the other end of the table with his beloved mate, Marianus.

It was almost surreal for Naruto and he wondered if his clan once upon a time did similar things in their relationship with the proud summoning clan. With that in mind, he raised his glass in a toast and waited as everyone else followed suit, his eyes pausing momentarily at the very studious look on Haku's face as her eyes stayed fixated on something just past the shoulders of his new guardians.

 _'Not now, one problem at a time,'_ he chided himself.

"To my family, both of blood and of spirit." All eyes were locked onto him now. "I reaffirm, as the new Prince of the Uzumaki, as the sovereign heir to the Uzu throne, that we shall never turn our backs on you, our eternal friends and family." His eyes took in every face at the table before landing on the mighty Poseidus.

"As of today, the onerous oath you swore to turn your back on the defense of Uzushiogakure is lifted." The eyes of shapeshifted sea serpents were beginning to grow with surprise, some growing with anticipation of revenge. "From this day forward, we will uphold the oaths sworn long before the Warring States and you will never again be asked to stand aside. We are one clan again and the Uzumaki will live and die beside our comrades no matter what this world sends our way."

He scanned the table one last time before roaring, "WILL YOU JOIN ME?!"

The answering roars reverberated off the of the cavern walls for several minutes even as a newly arrived Nectamia snuck up to crouch near him and deliver a whispered message to his ear. With a smile, a thank you, and a brief kiss to her cheek that brought a blush to the tiny messenger's face and a few questioning eyebrows from several of the females at the table - Kin, hatchling, and human - he turned back to the group.

"It seems Konoha decided to check up on our little gathering as we thought they would. You'd think they didn't trust us?" His joking tone was met with laughter.

"To be honest, we've made it clear where we stand with them," Keina interjected. "But that's neither here nor there since we still need to discuss your training starting tomorrow morning."

"I thought you'd never get to the really good part!" He sounded extra pleased, his hands slapping together as his palms rubbed back and forth.

"On that note," an oddly smiling Poseidus commented as he stood stiffly from the table, "we will take our leave so that you may all plot and scheme in private." He paused even as his mate rose to take his hand.

"Do us all proud, Walker. Let the world know fear when our roars shatter the heavens once again as it did in the old days." He looked almost wistful as if he longed to do battle once again.

Naruto bowed at the waist acknowledging the powerful boss summons, even as the unmasked Komodo Squad chanted eerily, "Rivers of blood."

The world would fear the _Umihebi_ once again.

* * *

 **~ Konoha Market District, Early Evening ~**

Kakashi's book, for once, was conspicuously absent as his drink languished near the end of his arm. Despite the normally raucous atmosphere of their favorite late-night hangout, none of the normal banter was free-flowing this time around. Fingering the rim of the saucer, his normally hidden peeper took stock of his tablemates noting all of the Jounin sensei appeared apprehensive and withdrawn.

To be honest they had every right to be as three of them only agreed to enter their teams as a means of "teaching them a lesson," their senseis hoping the harsh reality of the exams would kick their seriousness about being shinobi into gear. Boy, were they ever wrong and now all of their teams were going to have to fight in front of Konoha and the large elemental shinobi conglomerate.

It was going to be a shit-show of epic proportions, one that might bring more shame and ruin upon Konoha than the attack of the Kyuubi nearly sixteen years ago.

It was morale crushing to realize they would be responsible for it no matter how supportive friends like Hayate, Yugao, and Anko normally were. Fine with him since he didn't really like discussing-.

"So, how are you guys going to cope with the changes?" This from the brunette with legs and imitation Uchiha eyes.

 _'Damnit, why are the really pretty ones so talkative?'_ His hand twitched but this time it was to reach for his favorite distraction. By the grace of the Icha Icha gods, he prevailed and resisted its hypnotic pull - for now.

"I will train my team during the early hours to stoke their youth, then pray that their families can help them in the afternoon."

 _'Damn, even Gai is subdued.'_ It was even spoken at a normal volume.

"I think you all are overdoing the whole mother-hen routine." Several confused glares shot over the senbon-chewing Jounin but only one answered.

"Says the douche-rocket without brats of his own, _pfft!_ " Anko's response was anything but anticipated.

"Yeah, yeah, brush off the voice of reason." He shifted his metal toothpick to the other side of his mouth.

"How do you figure?"

Kakashi could tell the snake-nin was getting aggravated, especially since no one really knew where her favorite gaki was at the moment or whether anyone was offering to help him.

"Simple. You've had them for almost a year at least, even the recent batch." He stood up and dropped a small pile of money on the table to cover his tab. "If they haven't learned enough by now then that's on them." He paused before turning away completely. "Unless you haven't taught them anything of substance, but we all know that can't be the case, can it?"

Genma strolled away with his hands shoved into his pocket leaving behind a suddenly nervous batch of senseis who thought they'd have more time with their students. Some decided on the spot to use a training method similar to Gai's suggestion to make up for as much lost time as best they could.

Maybe it would be enough to help them survive the coming battle, the Exams a distant concern.

* * *

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 1 ~**

Surprisingly enough he was steered away from the bath (there were no showers and plumbing was an interesting set of hollowed tubes and an odd set of Suiton seals) after relieving himself, Naruto found himself squeezed into a weighted battle kimono top missing its sleeves and a matching pair of grey pants. Both together had to weigh ten kilos or more and he was still sluggish given that it was just before four in the morning.

A smooth tunnel carved from the mountain itself led up towards the flat plains stretching between the Grotto cliff and the mountains several miles in the distance. In between those two landmarks were odd land formations, a forested valley just off to the east, and other notable geographical oddities he thought to explore on the one day a week he'd eventually be given as a day to rest and recoup. It was a pleasant thought to be snapped out of by the voice of his new Kage.

"Your day is going to be very busy, Sochi." He glanced up into the all to eager eyes of his new mom with trepidation.

"The first two hours of your day will be physical conditioning with your Guardians and that will be followed immediately by refreshers in basic and intermediate chakra control exercises." He nodded. So far this wasn't too far off from his original training plan.

You will have an hour to eat breakfast and then it's off to Taijutsu and Kenjutsu practice until lunch. That should cover the last three hours of the morning. We'll wrap up with a bath and a hot meal before transitioning to Ninjutsu with the Guardians and Fuinjutsu with me until dinner." So far, this was looking really good to the Uzu prince.

"Post dinner you'll spend two hours completing the bonding process with Ella and Opal and then the three of us end the day with more chakra control, the advanced stuff this time."

"Anything after that?" he asked with a hint of excitement in his voice, one that quickly faded once they started laughing a bit too loudly for his comfort.

"If you still have something left in the tank after that, then we'll talk," she managed between very tickled bouts of laughter.

He did not feel reassured.

The group, consisting of himself, the five Guardians, Ella-hime, Opal-hime, and his new adult figure followed a well-worn path from his new residence as it wound away from the cliff face and into the sparse trees and vegetation. It was almost serene and he lost his mind to the peaceful sounds around him as his feet followed behind the gently swaying hips of the ivory Guardian just ahead of him.

It was still mostly dark, having been dragged out of bed at the un-Kami like hour of three-thirty only to be stuffed into his weighted training clothes, cycled through his bathroom (so as to be kept out of the bath which was mostly reflex after years of routine), then forced out of his residence in a barely conscious state without coffee to artificially spike his metabolism.

He was beginning to consider this the cruelest and most unusual treatment until everyone jerked to a stop and he nearly walked chest-first into the back of his most determined protector.

"Huh? Whuzzat?"

Leaning his head to the right just enough to peer past her shoulder, Naruto's eyes took in a mid-sized bridge, much like the smaller arched ones you'd find in a family garden. Kneeling in the middle of the bridge was what appeared to be another Guardian, this one bereft of her hood and mask, her overly-large sword resting on the ground in front of her seiza'd body.

Just behind her and to either side of the bridge they'd have to eventually cross were two very large Umihebi, their heads bowed even as fire rippled across their lava-colored scales.

"Oh Dip."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Taifū could not help the giggle that escaped her lips as she turned to meet his curious stare just past her right shoulder.

Then she blushed uncontrollably realizing just how close he was to her. It was almost... obscenely intimate.

Luckily for her Naruto was distracted since he could hear every muscle in Umi's body flex as the larger Guardian's hand gripped the weighted weapon he favored in both hands. "Walker-sama," he began with a voice dripping with anger only to pause as the blond icon gently raised his left palm to halt his objections.

"Patience and diligence should be rewarded and encouraged vice smothered from the light of knowledge," Naruto countered, a brief flush tickling his neck at one of Iruka's favorite quips. Without fear, he stepped around the nervously twitching Wind Sect member trying to slow his advance by hip-checking him.

With a gentle smile, he reached out with his right hand to push on her hip but only succeeded in making her blush at the intimate contact. It did let him pass by despite the nice feel of her firm buttocks pushing into his pelvis.

Trying not to cranially bleed out, he stepped around her to stride out towards the bridge knowing every semi-warm body behind him would be on his heels.

Pausing to stand on the left side of the kneeling figure in the middle of their path of travel, he could see her crimson eyes following his feet as her body twitched in uncertainty. Her eyes reminded him of another pair staring down at him through the valley of her cleavage in a room flooded with incense but he pushed that thought away with a violent shove.

Curse teenage hormones. He hated this part of growing up the first time he went through it.

"Hello there," he started off in the softest voice he could manage. "I'm told you'd like to speak to me." He tried not to notice the interesting gurgling sounds coming from the large echidnae crouching just past the bridge having noticed that both Ellamus and Opal had resumed their fully-scaled forms behind his mob of overprotective bodyguards.

Very slowly, and with one eye routinely checking the very high-strung Guardians watching her every move, the figure with blood-red hair haloing her face rotated her body until her bowed head hovered above the stone at his crouched feet. Bending forward until her forehead touched the backs of her triangled palms, she appeared to take several deep breaths to steady her nerves before taking one extra huge gulp of air to make use of her one opportunity to make her initial sales pitch.

"On behalf of the _Umihebi Flame Sect_ , I, Kirameki no Kaen, offer this sword, which once belonged to my traitorous elder hatchling, and my life in death or in servitude, as payment in exchange for forgiveness for the wrong done against the Uzumaki Clan by the hated traitors, Gekido and Eito Terumī."

Naruto's face clearly showed his shock and intrigue at the subject matter but he recovered quickly enough to reach down and lift her face by the chin, raising her head just enough to see her wide-open eyes.

"Walk with me for a bit."

~III~

* * *

Samui Abe considered herself a practical kunoichi. She kind of had to be given the smaller Abe clan that adopted both her and her older brother Atsui; there weren't many civilian clans in Kumo but that didn't mean every clan was a major power. The Abe was a clan specializing in crafting shinobi tools and, while the work was steady in a military town like Kumogakure, her adoptive family weren't the only competitors.

Fierce competition for loyal customers meant a practical business sense was a necessity and, when not on-mission, Samui supported her family in every endeavor with her very logical and practical method of doing business.

Practicality predicated that her initial observations should earn her a satisfactory mission completion necessitating her return home.

Logic dictated that she, at a minimum, be reassigned to a combat-oriented mission more suited to her combat-oriented repertoire.

At the fucking least, prudent forethought would require that the bumbling pervert from her current mission be recalled so she could at least continue on unhindered with whatever remaining tasks her Raikage saw fit to assign her until he could arrive later in the month with Mabui in-tow.

She tried not to let her twitching eyebrow show at the stupid grin decorating the slob standing next to her knowing full well his eyes weren't on the scroll in her hands but on her bountiful cleavage.

Staring dumbfounded at the partially unrolled document ordering her to get closer to, if at all possible, the one person she knew would rather gut her like a fresh kill vice a soiled dove. She sighed almost angrily at her nigh-impossible task and scowled at the idiot they gave her to assist with it.

"So, Samui-chan, how about we get that friendly dinner and discuss our change in orders? Hmmmmm?"

Her eyes snapped up in annoyance to confirm that he still wasn't talking so much at her face as to her chest before she snapped the scroll close and stalked away.

"Not. Cool." The Undersecretary's simpering grin and bobblehead imitation in hopes of encouraging her to say "Yes" made her want to cave his face in with her fist. Instead, she stormed off.

"So. Not. Cool."

~III~

* * *

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 2 ~**

Naruto woke the next morning to an odd sensation. His bed was an actual bed, which he approved greatly of, and was perhaps one of the most comfortable he'd ever slept on even if it was large enough to fill his apartment bedroom back in Konoha all by itself. That wasn't the odd sensation, unfortunately.

What woke him was the gentle shaking of his arm by what he assumed was his war prize, Haku. _Ugh_ , how he hated that term. Instead, he opened his still sleepy eyes to see a gently smiling Soyokaze, Taifū's real name he learned as he was getting ready for bed.

That wasn't the issue as his eyes shot open. The issue was that she was in bed with him wearing only a comfortable looking pair of women's underwear, the pale pink tips of her chest greeting him perkily as she sat up next to the slumbering shinobi.

His eyes shot to the sudden movement on his left and he found an equally undressed Nisshoku gently rubbing the sleep from her eye as one hand pressed to the mattress held her up in a similar sitting position, the slightly darker lavender tips of her chest equally bulging the shocked blue eyes of their owner.

"Doesn't anyone wear clothes around here?!"

Soyo giggled. "Ella-sama said you'd react like an old prude."

Naruto's shock faded quickly to an annoyed side-glare.

"We are not ashamed of our bodies, Walker-sama. All Halfkin, like our Wyrmkin masters, generally only armor ourselves for battle or when humans - other than you - are among us. As we," she mentioned to the very quiet but smiling Nisshoku, "will be around you a considerable amount, you are going to have to get used to seeing us like this. It is our way."

"Hnh," he grunted out deciding it was too much to worry about first thing in the morning without tea or coffee in his system.

~III~

Sasuke Uchiha awoke at an un-Kami-like hour when he shivered himself right out of bed. Taking one glance at the clock, he immediately went back to sleep and dreamt about pummeling a certain blond Genin in the upcoming finals.

~III~

"One-hundred and one..."

"One-hundred and two..."

"One-hundred and three..."

He was not focusing on the fact that his new Flame Guardian was sitting crosslegged on his shoulders counting aloud as he cranked out push-ups on his knuckles. Instead, he focused on surviving the physical bruising he was going to endure at the hands of his now six Guardians. Umi hadn't been pleased about that decision but what was done was done and Naruto had no intention of going back. Although if he were to be honest, Umi's outrage was justified considering what happened with the Flame Sect at the time of the _Breaking_.

"One-hundred and twenty..."

"One-hundred and twenty-one..."

"One-hundred and twenty-two..."

Kirameki was the younger sibling to the Flame Sect Guardian only she didn't steal the _Fang_ now in her custody. Kirameki's sibling had renounced her sword and given it to her little sister to use once she became the next Guardian of the Sect.

Unfortunately, Kirameki's sister was fleeing with one of the two echidnae from the fire-based strain as they were bonded to the two most hated Uzumaki traitors in the entire summoning clan's history, her self-appointed mission to keep the powerful beasts from doing any additional harm to future Uzumaki should they cross paths. That did nothing to stop the men bonded to both female wyrms, however, and the traitorous acts they committed heaped additional scorn upon the names of the traitors that fled the clutch.

Kirameki tried to talk her elder out of it, pleaded with her to no avail. So, while the summonses fled to the Salamander lands, the flaming Ifrit lands being the only place warm enough to match the lava-like home of the Sect living on the fringe of echidnae society, it was still isolation from all they'd known. Beyond that, she had no idea as to how the exiles were doing given that the Flame Sect had remained on lockdown since the Breaking, all contact lost as the remaining Sect suffered for Gekido and Eito Terumī's poisoned influence.

"One-hundred and seventy..."

"One-hundred and seventy-one..."

"One-hundred and seventy-two..."

Worst of it all was that no one would tell Kirameki what the traitors had done to incur such wrath and isolation upon them all, lamenting the fact that the entire Sect had been pushed to the fringes as lepers and pariahs, something Naruto could fully associate with. He, on the other hand, did know having fully digested Mito-Hī-obā-chan's journal in full.

Gekido was the elder of the Terumī branch of the Uzumaki long held to be a potential candidate for Uzukage. As made popular through the Terumīs of Mizu no Kuni, their bonding with the fire generating echidnae produced not one but often two heat-powered Kekkei Genkai, _Lava Release_ and _Boil Release_ , both of which Naruto knew were personified in the current Mizukage, Mei Terumī.

That meant at least one traitor fled to Kiri, one of the villages complicit in the destruction of his clan. Kurotsuchi's use of Lava Release gave him a good idea of where the other fled to but which nation protected Gekido?

This nasty little truth complicated things further for him concerning the missing _Fang_ currently in Suigetsu's possession and political minefields in general, but he'd worry about that later.

"Two-hundred and seven..."

"Two-hundred and eight..."

"Two-hundred and nine..."

See, Gekido was a right petty bastard who stated on multiple occasions that he should have been the Uzukage to follow Ashina above Mito's brother Saito and especially above Kushina, who was rumored to be the next Kage-in-training once Saito was ready to step down. Fortunately, it was rumored (at the time) to be several years off as the younger Uzumaki had just turned seven.

A petty, vain, and jealous man like Gekido didn't care, so it did not take long, once he'd been informed that he was going to be passed over yet again, for the red and silver-haired Uzumaki Clan elder to stop ignoring the platitudes being sent his way by the current Sandaime Tsuchikage, one "Ōnoki of Both Scales."

From there it was only a short step from an informant to full-on spy with the added promise of being made the new Uzukage and the greatest ally of Iwa following the removal of his political obstacles, a promise the Tsuchikage never intended to fulfill.

Gekido, with those incentives, would play his part exceedingly well managing to coerce his eldest son and daughter into supporting him under equal measures stemming from threats of exposure (the Uzumaki did not treat traitors well and Gekido's son Eito knew it) and promises of power and wealth (as needed to convince his greedy daughter to provide support).

By the time Saito was made aware of the situation through their spy network, which had taken several serious and unexplained blows in Iwa no Kuni, the invasion was only months away but the Uzumaki leadership still had no idea where the leaks and damages to their information networks were coming from. This would lead to Mito's return to Uzushio, in an act of desperation, and her failed attempt to bond with multiple Echidnae, which would further result in the emergency transfer of the Kyuubi to a new host.

She would not die right away.

"Two-hundred and forty-eight..."

"Two-hundred and forty-nine..."

"Two-hundred and FIFTY!" She hopped off his back and he promptly rolled over as Nisshi-chan plopped her firm rear down atop his toes for sit-ups without breaking his train of thought. As a lingering thought, he enjoyed the way the shy Guardian blushed every time he came up for a count. At the same time, he tried to ignore the way her soft chest pressed against his shins once her arms wrapped around his calves to keep his legs steady.

"One..." the soft-spoken Halfkin began as Kira-chan plopped down next to him and smacked his stomach with the flat of her palms every time he rolled down to his back.

"Two..." _SMACK!_

"T-Three..." _SMACK!_ If his chakra control waivered, they would know it instantly as he curled up into a fetal position. Kira-chan's hands stung if he failed to reinforce his gut.

"Four..." _SMACK!_

"Five..." _SMACK!_

As emergency protocols would begin to take place, Saito would transfer power to Mito's granddaughter and disappear into the shadows to make sure the clan's legacy was safe, per the dying wishes of his sister. Kushina would be evacuated to Konoha, their long-time ally weeks before the final days.

Fortunately, in Mito's final hours prior to her deteriorating health and the increased damage to her already destroyed chakra network by the loss of the Kyuubi's sustaining youki, she would glean the identity of one of their betrayers. She would risk it all even as she used the last of her chakra during the brutal invasion of her homeland to secure his identity for any survivor strong enough to later bond with the Umihebi; beyond being world-class travelers, the Shadow Sect of the Umihebi made for excellent spies and it was in the earliest moments of the invasion that her final request to the elusive serpents of the night would bear fruit. That they would spy on Gekido and his son as they selectively deactivated traps or breached defenses long enough for the enemy to flank and overpower Uzu no Kuni defenders was enough to solidify their treachery among the Celestial Clan of summons.

She would die cursing the name of Gekido Terumī and all his descendants.

~III~

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 3 ~**

By the morning of the third day, he was no longer surprised by his unusual wake-up calls and could only yawn in sluggish humor at being bracketed by both female Guardians charged with his personal well-being in addition to finding Haku sprawled out across his chest in her usual sleeping yukata.

With his morning ablutions an existential blur, he found his heavy footfalls leading back out at the training grounds where the entire Guardian team would put him through his horrid paces.

 _'Kami, I hate this part.'_

With a malicious grin, Keina made a half Ram seal and the crushing weight of his vest plastered Naruto to the unflinching ground. None of his trainers explained to Naruto that the training uniform increased in weight as he got stronger, the only gauge it set being how much weight was needed to bear him to the ground without him sheathing his body in chakra. This allowed his trainers to gauge his growth in strength based on how much chakra they used in freeing the hidden seals within the garments dragging him to the earth.

This also allowed them to take advantage of the bijū's accelerated healing making him develop faster.

Despite needing nearly ten minutes to gather enough strength and chakra to rise up from the ground, his morning of physical training generally went well, at least he felt so. Never mind that he usually ached from head to toe. Never mind that he barely had the focus to complete the requisite chakra control session during the last hour before breakfast. He loved every minute of running along cliffs or across the sand, wrestling his Guardians (always a different one each day), and sweating himself into a helpless puddle.

It was one of two exercise periods he was not allowed to use clones for, the second being his two-hour chakra molding session with his summonses which nearly put him to sleep since it immediately came after dinner when all the blood rushed to his overfull stomach.

Ella-hime really didn't appreciate his lack of enthusiasm on that first night.

For the rest of his training sessions, he was instructed to form anywhere from eight to nine overpowered shadow clones so they could, in turn, produce two-hundred and fifty modified clones for training. These clones would run through their paces, alongside the original who trained with Keina, pushing through chakra control (once before breakfast and once after molding and shaping his Uzumaki chakra), five-elements taijutsu, five elements kenjutsu, and ninjutsu with all six of the Guardians. Once his clone generals absorbed the experiences of their troops, he'd, in turn, begin the slow process of absorbing them one at a time to prevent being laid out for hours with a migraine he could not afford.

While his ninjutsu was being refined across the board, Naruto would spend that chunk of time building on his already strong Fuinjutsu background with Keina, who he was now calling Kaa-san much to her delight.

With Saturdays being a day of lighter training focusing more on endurance and flexibility, Sundays would become a true day of rest and recovery.

He hoped.

~III~

 **~ The Glittering Grotto, Walker's Den, Sunday ~**

Naruto was enjoying the evening view from the entry foyer to his temporary lodgings. It was his only true day off in the training cycle as seven training days a week was too much for even his youki-enhanced recovery. What he equated to Saturday back in the world of mortals was more of a prolonged warm-up and stretch session while he talked strategy with his newest bunch of friends, who also happened to like this particular chamber for the spectacular view.

Despite the largely bare chamber funneling to a well-lit passageway, it did provide a spectacular view of the oceanic waters beyond their cliff. It was also the only chamber large enough to accommodate a full-sized serpent allowing them to shift to a more human-friendly appearance since all of the other entrances in his quarters (the ones joining the sleeping, bathing, dining, and living chambers) were sized for Uzumaki clansmen and women.

"Please consider it."

Keina's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his head swinging around to lock onto the attractive redhead standing to his right.

"It's to restore the clan. We're not asking you to marry anyone."

His brows knit together even as the pleasant memory of the dinner party faded to the background. "You're asking me to help casually bring new Uzumaki life into the world, a life I can't be a regular part of. You know how I feel about that."

She nodded. "I do but no one is saying you can't be a part of their lives. You'll always be their father and no one will take that, no one _can_ take that from you."

His eyes turned back out to sea. "But how many are you talking about here?"

She knew this would be the deal breaker but they needed more royals to rebuild both the main and side branches. Each woman that previously agreed to this would be free to marry another, provided that person could deal with a single mother vice the highly coveted virgin bride. She wasn't worried about birth defects given their resilient genetics; the Uzumaki had interbred on more than one occasion to "keep the line pure" and the bloodline was fairly reliable at preventing extra limbs and other deformities.

She released a heavy sigh. "At least four that I know of," she answered intentionally keeping their identities secret.

"I don't know about this."

"And what if you die in the exams? What then? Are we to be left without another Walker or another Uzu royal?"

He waved it off. "You're young and pretty plus there's Karin."

"Not enough!" She was shaking her great mane of hair from side to side and fighting a blush at the same time. "The next heir needs to be more than half-blood.

His guffawed laughter interrupted her train of thought. " _I'M_ only half!"

"But your other half is mostly Senju royalty, which more than makes up for it."

They were both interrupted by Haku and Umi walking into the chamber to join them, Keina turning to gently touch his cheek and regain his attention.

"Just consider it, Naruto. Please?"

Sparing one quick glance to the approaching duo, he turned back to her enough to nod once with a soft, "Hai, Kaa-san." Her wide grin did nothing to ease the agonizing decision she'd just dumped on him so he turned back to the approaching duo.

"Heading back to the enclave, Umi?" he called out with a weak smile which only shot straight to confused once the large blue male dropped to one knee, his hood and mask lowered and his head bowed in shame.

"Um, what's going on?" Came the blond's confused opener.

"I just learned that a good chunk of Kiri's proud history is a lie." Haku's voice was soft as if she'd suffered shell-shock from a near-miss paper bomb.

"What?"

"Come on." Keina jumped in as she walked past the still kneeling Water Sect hatchling to tug on his arm and get him moving. "I'll make some tea since this is going to take a minute to explain."

Not ten minutes later, Naruto was sitting in a comfortable chair with all of the Guardians kneeling around him in a half-circle sputtering into his teacup.

"What do you mean Kubikiribōchō never belonged to Kiri? Slow down and explain it to me from the beginning," one hand wiping the hot tea from his chin before Haku could attack it with a handy towel.

"While we were enjoying dinner that first night, I noticed that all of the Guardians except for one set a sword behind their seat. That sword, each and every one of them, looks a lot like Zabuza-sama's weapon."

Naruto nodded his agreement having considered the similarities.

Keina told him earlier that day when he met the five of them that the Guardians were always meant to guard the current Walker, the clan head - more or less - reigning over all Umihebi. One of them, he thought the bronze-skinned one was named or called Ishi, leaned forward and passed him the blade hanging across his back in a harness eerily familiar to Naruto.

With the blade carefully balanced across his palms, he had an extremely difficult time telling this sword apart from the one Zabuza tried to cleave him in half with during their very first run-in with the nukenin. It was a difficult sword to forget; it made a unique sound if you were nearby when it split the surrounding air in two.

Handing it back to the large Halfkin with a nod, he turned back to Haku's rather unsteady, but still extremely pretty, face. "That explains why the blade always seemed too big for a normal human," he commented. Male Halfkins were much larger than normal males.

"Umi-san told me a rather tragic story that I think you should hear."

The large blue-skinned male seemed nervous even as he prepared to relay his tale, his eyes flickering from the floor to briefly glance at his new Walker almost as if he feared to be punished. Inside he knew that the Walker was a forgiving person, after all, he'd forgiven that cancerous Flame Sect so... perhaps there was hope for Umi?

"I'm not here to judge you, Umi." The large blue shoulders sagged a bit in relief. "Tell me what I need to know."

It was several moments before the Kin's rumbling bass of a voice began, but, once he did, Naruto was hooked.

His story went back before Naruto's birth almost a quarter-century. The loss of his sword began with the Great Breaking, as the summoning clan referred to it. It was the day the Uzumaki Clan fell to a combined assault from honorless cowards.

Naruto tried not to snort given the prideful Halfkin was talking about shinobi, people trained from an early age to lie, cheat, steal, and rob blind anyone _not_ from their own village.

Umi was and has been, for the past seventy-five years, the appointed Guardian of the Water Sect. Like all Guardians, their primary responsibility is to safeguard the current Walker, the protection of the entire clan of serpents a strict and distant second priority.

All of the Kin, Wyrm and Half alike, know this to be resolute; there were plenty of Hatchlings to defend the great serpents that really didn't need anyone's help en masse. When you think about it, who would be idiotic enough to attack them at home?

There are, however, several little secrets inherent in their breed that make this directive to protect, preserve and nurture the current Walker a driving force in their very specific existence but to become one is the ultimate pinnacle of achievement for the half-bloods that would otherwise be shunned in any normal human realm.

First and as previously discussed, their genetics make them stronger than normal, every facet of their biology tweaked because of their mixed parentage to give them the edge. Dense muscles, stronger tendons (and ligaments), greater lung capacity, an almost reptilian ability to regenerate (including lost extremities short of a head), heightened senses similar to their reptilian parents, an extended life span reaching up to five hundred years in rare cases, and a reduced dependency on sleep and nutrition make them dangerous bodyguards.

Second of all, their mixed heritage also allows them to transcend both realms and prolong their stay for up to decades at a time in the mortal realm in order to protect their liege. They must return to the summoning realm for a year after such prolonged stays but it's not nearly as debilitating for the Halfkin.

Finally, there is a bonding process to tie them to their Walker. There are few perks but that's not the intent. As it's _Fuinjutsu_ driven, it serves as a loyalty seal that provides limited awareness of the state of their Walker letting them know where he or she is within a mile (a general direction and loose sense of distance if they're farther away).

These benefits are not without their downsides as Halfkin cannot reproduce (being sterile), cannot learn elemental transformations beyond their initial Sect, and cannot survive beyond their Walker _unless released from the bond_ ; a Walker that dies before their time takes their Guardians with them to the grave.

It was at this point in Umi's tale that Naruto stared with wide eyes at the six Halfkin sitting around him in a half-circle, a tear trailing from his eye as Taifū reached up from his right side to gently squeeze his hand. He was trying to think of the negative connotations to the new seal located just under his left collarbone matching the seals newly added above the hearts of all six Guardians.

But Umi wasn't done here.

All of these reasons were why each sect provided only one, their strongest to be a Guardian; the rest would aid in either defending the clutch or the Walker if he were in the Grotto. In times of dire emergency, they could be summoned to Uzushio to rain death upon enemies of the clan.

To help in keeping their sovereign safe, each Guardian was provided a special blade - called the _Serpent's Fang_ \- formed from secret techniques known among the Uzumaki. These techniques Keina had informed him of earlier stating that he'd be learning these at the hands of the best Sect blacksmiths and his beloved Aunt, who happened to be the strongest _Fuinjutsu_ master among her sisters (apparently his mother was the stronger taijutsu-slash-kenjutsu master and Karin's mom was the healer of the three).

This was an important lesson as the Walker, when strong enough, carried the seventh and final _Fang_ linked to all six blades wielded by the Guardians.

Even the one walking around in Kiri in the hands of a defiler.

While a month, even with clones, wasn't enough to master the kenjutsu styles he'd be learning from his Aunt and all of the Guardians, he didn't care as he'd most likely pick up the basics and intermediate skills well enough that he'd crush his competition in the Exams. As Suigetsu's face hovered in his mind's eye, that was more than enough for him.

This sword provided to the Halfkin looked an awful lot like Zabuza's Decapitating Carving Knife down to the extra holes, a fact Keina reinforced once she handed him a soft leather journal discussing some of the clan's secret crafting specialties. Inside it confirmed not only the sword's origin but many of the hidden abilities its former owners may or may not have known about. Slapping the book closed for later reading, he turned to Umi with a question already on his lips.

"So that explains what Kubikiribōchō is but not why it's currently running around Kiri and why you," he held up a palm to indicate the blue-skinned Halfkin, "are the only Guardian without a sword."

Umi nodded sheepishly even as his eyes traveled over to the massive polearm, a _Yanyuedao_ he called it, leaning against the chamber wall, the gently curving fauchard-like blade more than a hand's width wide and four-hand width's long. It still looked like it could deal an obscene amount of damage and they all had a secondary weapon of some type but it didn't explain where his sword was.

"As we were all dealing with being forbidden to come to the aid of the Uzumaki," Umi's jaw tightened at the dishonorable memory, "horrible things were happening within the summoning clan and we spent sixty days suppressing the uprising caused when the clan was ordered to stand down.

"The dishonor was too much for the younger Halfkin to bear and they fought to travel to Uzushio anyway."

"How many?" Naruto asked into the growing silence, a question that brought up the great blue head from the floor.

"Too many, Walker-sama." After several more deep breaths, he continued. "A third of the great wyrms and over sixty percent of the Kin perished that day."

Naruto noted the bowed heads of his remaining five but chose to keep his thoughts to himself.

"It was into this absolute chaos that my younger brother, Kisame, stole away from the clan and fled our lands with the _Fang_ gifted to me."

Despite the recognition in his eyes at the rogue shinobi's name, Naruto's gaze grew confused until Taifū chose to clarify for him.

"This was before the blood seals linking the swords to their carriers were added, Walker-sama. To steal a Guardian's blade today while the Guardian still lives is to invite certain death via a wasting disease curse seal."

"True," Umi continued. "At the time, honor and loyalty were the only safeguards needed. No Halfkin would dare to steal the sword of a Guardian. There were only six made for the six protectors and, given their size, it would be difficult to keep one hidden. We never thought he'd flee or, even worse, side with the _Chondrichthyes_."

Naruto simply turned his head to lock flat eyes with the wind sect Guardian, her face breaking into a small smile as his behavior tickled some bone deep inside her core. "Sharks, Walker-sama. He sided with our mortal enemies."

"Aah, that's why he has the gill things under his beady little eyes."

Umi's face wrinkled up in distaste. "He has squandered the gifts of our clan to lie with sharks." The large man turned to spit on the carpeted floor until the svelte wind user reached up to smack the back of his head with a loud _CRACK!_

"You will NOT defile Walker-sama's domicile." Her stern voice left little room for argument so the large man could only bow sheepishly and swallow his own spit with a grimace.

 _'Must have been a tasty one,'_ Naruto chuckled.

"What we know is that he swam out to sea during the confusion and, even after peace and order were restored and we mourned our dead, it was another three months before his absence was accounted for. By then, he was long gone along with my blade." The large Kin sighed heavily. "By Umihebi law, I cannot have another forged and my honor cannot be cleansed until I've regained my original weapon and slain him, preferably with it."

"This may be more difficult than we think since the blade has fallen into the hands of a Kiri shinobi," Naruto offered drawing Haku back into the conversation.

"But he's in the exams, isn't he?"

"He is," the blond agreed, "but chances are slim that I'll randomly be selected to fight him during the trials."

"We can only hope that fortune is with us then, Walker-sama," Umi intoned seriously.

Naruto's one eye closed even as the other one squinted nearly shut. "You're not gonna stop calling me that, are you?"

Taifū could only giggle at his ongoing antics thinking to herself, _'It was good to be a family again.'_

~III~

 **~ The Summoning Realm of the Ifrit Salamander ~**

"Thank you, Lamapades. You will not regret lending us your aid!"

The enormous flame-scaled serpent only nodded its head at the gushing human, his white mane and beard nearly brushing the ash-covered ground. She also could not ignore the overly proud glare from the hatchling human standing next to him, her arrogant appearance remaining even after the old man reached up to press down on the child's neck forcing her to show a modicum of respect.

It was several seconds after they left in a cloud of smoke before the large muzzle wrinkled up in clear distaste.

Oh, how she hated him for bringing her to this shame and she knew that he realized this. Mistakenly he believed it was because she felt shame for her "unjust exile" when, in reality, she loathed him for convincing her those years before that she should support him in his attempt to heal a corrupted clan, _her_ summoning clan and the Uzumaki they lovingly served.

Many nights she blamed the bond and its corrosive influence but she knew it was the sweet words he poured into her ears once upon a time. It only became worse once her younger sibling, _Wadjet_ , joined her bonded summoner in their folly soon to be followed by their Sect's Guardian.

It was her shame that forced her to hide in the lands of lesser creatures. It was her torn heart that prevented her from ever raising a hand against the survivors of the clan, directly or indirectly much to the angry little man's dismay.

Oh, how he railed against her over the years and now he dares to come before her once more demanding her aid against, if what she was hearing was true, what could be the very last Walker of Uzu no Kuni? It took a great deal of effort to hide the racing of her great heart and the disgust his presence brought to her face. Perhaps her sister and she could finally atone for their weakness. Speaking of which...

Kagayaki, no longer going by her given Guardian name, glanced to her left as another figure joined her in a defensive position before the twin mountains of molten scales. Given the large amounts of raw power flowing through the twin _Echidnae_ , it was no surprise that the greedy human could not detect Kirameki-chan hiding behind Wadjet's reclining form.

For the second time that day, she had to still her heart at the sight of her baby sister in full Guardian regalia bearing her _Fang_.

"Will you help them?" Kirameki asked with a calm voice filled with iron. The elder Guardian merely turned backwards as if seeking permission.

"We will but not in the manner to which they ascribe."

The younger girl's head twisted upwards to face the elder wyrm in confusion at her response.

"Tell your Walker-sama that I will travel to these games with the female hatchling, as the traitor Gekido requests."

"You never raised claw nor fang against the clan. He will forgive your trespasses and bring you back to the clutch. You know this, yes?"

The creature's large muzzle seemed to curl up into a smile. "I'm counting on it, blessed one."

~III~

 **~ Near the Suna-Konoha Border ~**

"You're not disappointed that we're almost a week behind everyone else?"

Temari was trying very hard to ignore Kankuro's wheedling. For a minion, he wasn't being very supportive and his whiny voice was starting to give her a headache.

Glancing briefly at her youngest brother as they continued their early morning trek across the rocky plains preceding the deep desert, She couldn't prevent another deep-seated shiver at the impossible things she'd both seen and been privy to. It made her feel small, truly small like the first time she'd seen Gaara smash his way through an angry mob at the age of five.

She hated it then and hated it still. It was what forced her to re-evaluate her advancement in her chosen profession. It didn't matter that the profession was chosen for her without her consent. If this was to be her lot in life, then she'd be the strongest kunoichi from Suna bar none. It would only be a matter of time before she could claim a title as impressive as the one female Sannin of the shinobi world.

It would happen and she would make it so.

This was the way.

Then she spent a week in Konoha surrounded by people she wouldn't soil the soles of her pragmatic sandals with if she had to step through their blood to get home. It only got worse when she had to spend five days with a blond monster that made her knees shake with fear and she suddenly felt just like she did at the age of eight watching Gaara mulching Chunin and Jounin alike in his sand storm.

The way this blond force of nature almost casually disregarded them... It brought all of her greatest fears bubbling back to the surface and she hated hit, every single minute of it.

To make matters worse, after their seals master - yet another fucking Sannin! - strapped their brother to a sealing table more complicated than anything Chiyo-baa-sama possessed and casually "corrected" her brother's faulty seal (if you consider the hour of screaming being ripped from her baby brother's throat casual), they "oh so casually" informed them and their sensei that the real Kazekage, their miserable, worthless waste of a father, was dead and had in fact been dead for several months.

As if that wasn't a big enough kick in the nuts (whether she had them or not), they showed them all available pictures of the ambush site and where they could find it on a map of the region. They would not, unfortunately, tell them who they thought committed the deed but Temari knew.

She could read it in their scheming, untrustworthy, tree-hugging eyes.

The fact that Konoha had accurate maps of Suna geography was not a surprise. The fact that they knew the reigning Kazekage was dead and where to find his body as proof _was_.

Glancing up from her brother to their still-healing sensei, Baki, Temari had to assume his murdering of a Konoha Jounin three nights ago, weakened due to illness or not, would have to be of concern in some way, shape, or form down the road as Suna navigated this potential minefield.

She only regretted that Baki hadn't killed more of them but that wouldn't address the death of their fa- _Kazekage_.

Anyone strong enough to murder their strongest nin, their leader, and his elite guard was of _serious_ concern. It was a fact only made worse by the fact that her now exceedingly calm brother, who was once again in full possession of his chakra, was reconsidering ever fulfilling his part of a plan now clearly doomed to fail given Konoha's hinted knowledge and overwhelming strength.

She sincerely doubted that their blond tormentor from the second stage of the exam requested the Sannin's help in fixing her brother's seal but that was the story Konoha told and that was good enough for Gaara and his new Pocky addiction.

Oh, yes. She'd get the blond bastard for _that_ as well.

The entire sum of frustrating realization was making her re-prioritize personal plans, plans devised the day she was assigned to Gaara's Genin Squad and involved sacrificing her favorite minion to Gaara's blood lust as a distraction, of escaping her home village.

He was just a minion after all and she was the Queen.

This was _always_ the way.

~III~

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 8 ~**

Ella and Opal were standing off to the side of the training grounds watching six separate mobs of Walkers, each mob numbering a few hundred or more copies of the same blond human, run through different forms of sword fighting using weighted training versions of the dreaded _Fang_ , known among the humans as the Severing Sword. Each group was being led by a different Guardian, each style different from the other to serve a purpose.

Some were better at defense, others better at offense. The Shadow Guardian's style was one of two forms that used both hands to wield the weapon, the weak hand cradling the back of the blade keeping it close to the body for short, quick slices to either hamstring or otherwise incapacitate their opponent. The Fuuton Sect used two blades, the Walker having just learned the technique allowing him to temporarily duplicate the weapon - his fragile technique showing he needs tons more practice before he could use it in combat. Umi, using a similar training weapon, was able to demonstrate the other two-handed form using a wide grip but utilizing powerful fluid strokes to flow around its opponent and defend against multiple attackers.

They were all deadly forms in their own way.

"How goes the progress?" Ella's eyes never left the original leading a smaller group training in the Uzumaki style with Keina off to the side.

"He's learning at absurd levels of quickness," Nectamia responded, her sister strangely quiet for once.

"Of course, the clones."

"It's more than that, Ella-sama." The elder wyrm looked down to the slimmer messenger for clarification. "Yes, the clones help but he's a physical learner. Movements come easier to him than reading books and that gift is compounded by the number of clones." The slender wyrm arched her graceful neck upwards to the senior princess.

"The Guardians think he'll master the median forms within the next two weeks."

Ellamus's eyebrows shot upwards at that brand of high praise knowing previous Walkers had taken months to master even the basic forms of each style.

It was high praise indeed. Both sisters settled down to watch as the rote forms period ended and each circle gathered up the clones to utilize what they'd learned through combat, the best reinforcement they could find knowing a clone's death would not hurt the original.

They observed through the entire two-hour taijutsu barrage enjoying the resounding gongs from the toad forms. When the magenta pugilist stepped away to rest, the rushing sounds of training weapons splitting the air made Ella smile; the forms were graceful and deadly reminding her more of an Echidnae's spiked tail slashing at its foes vice the forearm length teeth it was named after. Patiently the sisters endured a sedate lunch break followed by the billowing flames, eruptions, bursts of electricity and stone-crushing tidal waves that highlighted their Walker's slowly diminishing lack of chakra control as this meant the chaos caused by hundreds upon hundreds of shadow clones was drawing to its nightly end.

It would be their turn soon enough and, before they knew it, then it was.

Both sisters paused while Naruto sent one last batch off with Keina for training in the _Walker's_ library domicile since it housed the sealing chamber reserved for the clan head's use. There would be no threat to the rest of the clutch with the seal-reinforced chamber.

Good, that meant they could retire to Ella's den, her favorite time of the day.

"Are you ready, Walker?"

Naruto sighed despite his fatigue. The next two hours would give him more than a chance to catch his breath and restore his waning chakra reserves. All he had to do was sit and concentrate on his chakra network, which wasn't as strenuous a task as it used to be.

It was an added bonus that Opal's chakra acted as a recuperative that healed wounds, bruises, and cuts.

Nodding, the climbed up into the great bowl comprising Ella's bed and settled in laying flat on his back - he liked to stare at the crystals in the ceiling since it helped him to concentrate on something other than what he knew was going to happen next.

 _'Kiba in a speedo!' 'Kiba in a speedo!' 'Kiba in a speedo!'_

No sooner had he released a cleansing breath than Ella and Opal both stretched out next to him, both Echidnae pressing his upper arms between their rather plush human cushions as they sidled up next to him and draped one shapely thigh over each of his own.

 _'Sandaime in a speedo!' '_ _Sandaime_ _in a speedo!' '_ _Sandaime_ _in a-!'_

Opal's soft hand landed on his right pectoral as Ella's tapped him lightly on the forehead breaking up his stabilizing mantra.

"The first hour will be the same, Walker. We will continue to purify and mature your hereditary chakra as before." He nodded once as both serpents had become very proficient at filtering his youki-laden chakra to the point they could leave most of the bijū's youki loitering in his network reducing any residual harm to themselves.

"For the second hour, we will teach you how to identify and separate the individual components of your own chakra, the parts you know as Yin and Yang."

This did shock him enough to force a question. "Why?" It was Opal that provided an answer this time.

"Keina-sama says that you must master this skill if you are to master the chains that continue to elude you." When his eyebrows knotted up in confusion, she continued.

"She says that Uzumaki chakra is heavily biased towards the Yang. It is how you are able to form sturdy enough chakra constructs to make lots of them. As we mature your Uzumaki chakra, your natural Yin-Yang balance will shift from an equal ratio to favor the latter. Once you have matured your chakra, she says your true training with the chains can begin."

"She also says there is a downside to this." Naruto turned from Opal's beaming smile to Ella's wrinkled brow. "She says that the other Uzumaki bloodline traits are governed by this balance meaning you cannot learn all of them as you originally wished to do."

This did make him frown.

"The healing gift of your cousin requires a different balance than the chains but her control is good enough that she can partially master the latter skill up to a degree."

He took that to mean she could do the attack chains but never be strong enough to master barriers, or at least be as strong as either he will be or his mother Kushina was with them.

"She will never have potent enough chakra, however, to make the solid constructs some of your clansmen are capable of, therefore, she will never have your talent with Uzumaki sealing."

That sort of made sense to the Uzu Prince, meaning she'd never be able to do chakra scribing and make solid seals without ink.

He also realized that door swung both ways, unfortunately, and that explained why he'd never match her talent with _Mind's Eye of the Kagura_. He'd probably never have her aptitude for passive detection but he could live with that.

 _'Fair enough.'_

With a heavy sigh, he settled in and closed his eyes, his left pectoral registering Ella's palm as it settled over his heart.

Then the soothing warmth of their _Reika Chakra_ began flowing through his system...

~III~

 **~ Personal Training Ground of the Sandaime Tsuchikage ~**

Two of the oldest shinobi still active in Iwa were passively observing the dark-haired kunoichi being pushed through her paces by the stoic five-tails jinchuuriki, Han. From Gekido's wince, she was not faring as well as either men would have preferred.

"Relax your shoulders, Kuro-chan. He is considerably bigger than you are. Let him tire himself out without becoming one large bruise yourself."

Both men opted to ignore the stream of profanity sent their way.

"That's another ten Ryu, Mushi," crowed.

"Kuso!"

"That makes it ten-fifty."

The girl scowled but kept silent as she tucked into the training session oblivious to the ongoing conversation by the sidelines.

"I have my doubts, Gekido." The Tsuchikage was observing his granddaughter with an exceptionally critical eye.

"With Lampades agreeing to support her, I do not."

Ōnoki grunted and walked away.

~III~

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 15 ~**

Naruto, the original, stood before the magenta-hued Gama trying to shake his excitement. Both were standing in baggy training shorts that reached past their knees, the only other ornamentation being the wraps covering everything from their knuckles to their elbows and everything from their shins down to their insteps - or, er, their flippers.

"Mornin' Tadpole," the nearly three-meter battle toad croaked out. "We've pushed hard ter get you back up ta' standard but I think it's time we crank 'er up a notch."

All two-hundred and fifty-one pairs of ocean blue eyes glittered despite their twelve-hundred plus siblings grunting in pain all across the stone training yard.

"We got ten days ter make you a functional in'ermediate an' I intend ter push hard. Hop to, boya!"

A resounding "OSSU!" from those two-hundred and fifty-plus throats began a grueling day of deep-tissue sheathing followed by the most grueling upgrade of Naruto's _Tetsuken_ taijutsu style to date.

The remaining army of clones would find it extremely hard to concentrate with the pained screams coming from that side of the training ground.

It would take several minutes after their workout concluded (and an overly-pleased Gama departed for home) before Naruto was coherent enough to move on to practicing with a sword.

~III~

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 24 ~**

The past three weeks had been great for Naruto's uninterrupted development. He had to admit the focused attention from skilled shinobi wanting to actually help him almost replaced the empty hole in his chest he felt from time to time when memories of his clone fragments reared up. Now his life almost seemed normal when he awoke to find four women glomped onto a chosen extremity.

Ivory hair, royal purple, crimson and brunette waves of silk surrounded him, their (mostly) warm bodies pressingly softly but firmly against him was a pleasant way to wake up for the last three weeks. Too bad he doubted any wife he'd be fortunate to find would consider keeping the arrangement.

With a sigh, he untangled his limbs gently waking his platonic bedmates and set about his modified early morning routine. Today would be special.

Today was an assessment.

Nisshoku and Haku both pecked him lightly on the cheek before dressing and gliding off to prepare a big breakfast. Soyo-chan and Kira-chan only stripped down further to join him through a thorough bathing and preparatory session as they decked him out in his training gear.

If things went well, it would be the last time this month he'd need to wear it and that by itself was enough to keep a smile on his face as the Halfkin gently scrubbed his back and arms. Once they were all dressed, another round of cheek kissing led to the five sharing a healthy breakfast before heading off to the training grounds.

Upon arrival, his company broke off to their respective positions - Haku joining Poseidus, Marianus, Titus, Ella and Opal on the sidelines while his three female Guardians took their places next to the males and a wide-grinning Gamatetsu. Just because the toad agreed to limit his effort to a seasoned intermediate student of his brand of Toad Kata didn't mean he wasn't going to enjoy this round.

"You ready, Boya?"

Naruto's shit-eating grin was all the reply Gamatetsu needed to begin.

The ground shook on their first clash, the stone earth cracking beneath their feet/ flippers while Halfkin assigned to tending the training fields _tsked_ and grumbled at another long day's worth of mending stone.

Gamatetsu pushed off from their crossed forearms using his heavier form to move Naruto with an almost gentle shove. Leaping after the smaller human, one heavily-wrapped flipper-fist roaring downwards in an overhand smash. Knowing better than to try and block it, Naruto slipped to the outside of the right earth crusher and shot an overhand left past the massive bicep at his sensei's wide chin, where it connected with a resounding _GONG!_

It cost him in the form of a toad elbow to the ribs, which produced a slightly higher-toned response in kind.

When the left flipper chased after the right elbow, Naruto dropped to one knee and nudged the limb higher with his own elbow strike. Leaning back to avoid the magenta knee strike headed for his chin, Naruto slapped the palm of his left hand to the ground, swung the sole of his right foot up to kick the raised toad limb aside, then re-chambered a thrust kick into Gamatetsu's abdomen from his two-point stance. Since the toad was using chakra to anchor his other flipper to the ground, the lighter mass ricocheted into a forward roll and regained his feet to square up again.

Both fighters took three to four seconds to take stock of the other before charging in and resumed with a blistering barrage of short jabs, palm blocks rolled into back-fists, close-in elbow strikes, and joint locks leading to an on-going series of reversals and escapes.

As the pace of their engagement continued to escalate, the echoing gong-like tone of their clashes went from periodic BOOMS to a constant thrumming the observers could feel in their bones. Every tenth clash or so, a chakra-enhanced fist or foot stomp would crater or spiderweb the concrete beneath their bodies to the ever-cringing regret of the caretakers.

At the end of a half-hour of wrestling, both Naruto and his Gama-sensei ended up dual-trapped; Gama's left flipper was caught in an arm-bar while Naruto's neck was being stretched by Gama's chakra-coated webbed foot (so he couldn't squirm away).

"Yield, Boya!"

 _"Nev'r! I'll chew er orf firss!"_ He was hard to understand with the toad's foot chakra stuck to his chin as Gama tried to pop off his skull like a dandelion.

All of the sweat-dropping observers were shaking their heads in pity.

"Someone please call the fight or we'll be here until one of them runs out of chakra." Having made his decree, Poseidus officially called it a draw.

With the match officially ended, Naruto embraced his Gama brother taking the, "Heh, nice one, tadpole," comment in stride. Their next clash was guaranteed to be an epic upgrade.

The shuffling of training uniforms behind him alerted the blond Genin to his next challenge as all Six of his Guardians took up residence in a different (undamaged) training circle, each with their own training _Fang_. Gamatetsu waddled off to join the peanut gallery as Naruto spun about to face his next challenge.

Grinning he stepped into a circle with Soyo-chan as a sealless shadow clone matched up with the other five instructors. The rules were simple for this bout.

The first three crippling or greater equivalent strikes earned the win.

Any decapitating blow was an automatic win.

Fleeing the circle was to concede defeat.

No advanced techniques could be used by either opponent.

Finally, Naruto could only fight using his opponent's branch of the elemental style, this rule enabling an accurate assessment of his skill in the art of the summoning clan.

Nervous for this next challenge, Naruto took a deep breath and tried to still his mind. "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be," he muttered softly, his eyes unfocused. His words, easily picked up by his ivory opponent, piqued her interest.

"More Musashi, Walker-sama?" He often quoted the famed _Nittojutsu_ master during training.

He shook his head smiling as his eyes met hers. "Not this time. Sun Tzu."

She nodded, raising her blunted training blade up before her body bringing both of them to the ready as he reciprocated. The observers noted that the same gesture was being repeated in each circle, Guardian and clone alike. As one, they all, including Naruto and his clones, intoned:

"May justice shape our path unerringly to decide upon a course in accordance with reason and humility, without wavering from one's chosen path; give me the fortitude to die when to die is right, the skill to strike when to strike is right. May courage, not false bravery, strengthen my strike and firm my hand with justice to guide the way. Never shall I let my power to dispense justice strip me of my humanity, creating the monster within me I seek to master. May this humanity lead to a fervent love for my comrades and the helpless I seek to shield with my blade. May my will to defend be tempered with sincerity, mercy, honor, and loyalty to my sovereign Lord through strong morals, knowledge, and prudence til my blade sings no more*."

As one, the entire set of gladiators lowered their blades right before the somber silence was broken with the collision of weighted practice swords against one another.

 _ **Earth Sect**_

Crossing blades with Ishi was one of Naruto's favorite things. The large male was just as calm and methodical in his combat style as he was in speaking, his technique drawing heavily on earth as a defensive form meant to tank more powerful enemies away from his team. It was fortunate, not so much as in this duel but with the other Guardians, that none of them would be allowed to channel chakra during this test.

There would be less collateral damage that way.

Knowing the gentle giant would not initiate, Naruto charged, his hands taking a firm spread grip on the pommel of his training blade.

Ishi smiled and tilted his weapon up above his head, his left palm opening up to cup the back of the weapon in the "V" of his palm while his dominate hand gripped the pommel angling the weapon so that the overhead shop seeking to render him comatose ended with the edge of his sword. With an almost casual flick of the blade, he tugged backwards on the pommel while using his guiding hand to flick the forward edge down and away from his body sending Naruto's weapon into the dirt.

As Naruto's momentum carried him past his silent sensei, the large Halfkin followed up with a roundhouse from his lead leg, which his student rolled forward under to dodge, planting his toes and torquing his body around almost four-hundred and fifty degrees as the flat of his weapon swept back around to club the boy out of the circle hoping to win the match.

Seeing the pivot, Naruto planted his foot and whipped his shoulders around in time to jam the tip of his sword into the hard earth, his lead foot jutting forward so that the balls of his feet slammed against the flat of the blade as chakra surged into his toes to keep them from breaking with the impact of Ishi's sword against his own.

He didn't shift until he heard the resounding _CLANG_ of both weapons and realized he kept a functioning foot utilizing the block.

That hadn't always been the case in the early days of practice.

Slamming his trail foot into the back of his own weapon and stepping through to push his opponent backwards, Naruto freed his blade from the stony earth with a resounding WHUMP and a stinging spray of shattered stone.

Ishi ducked behind his weapon as he brought it up to shield his body and clear his student's reach with a smile spreading across his strong jaw.

This was the essence of the Earth Sect.

With a mutual grin, both swordsmen charged in to resume the clash.

 _ **Fire Sect**_

Kirameki, despite her elemental alignment, was the exact opposite of Ishi in temperament. With earth was methodical and resilient, the flame was a hungering beast seeking to devour everything in its path.

Sweeping strikes with both hands gripping tightly to the pommel split the air as the blade sought its opponent. Tip or edge, never the flat, it was a never-ending clash of blows raining sparks into the late morning air. Naruto could only be glad that she could not enhance the weapon with the searing flames of her art.

He'd seen those leave ash in their wake.

Together they surged, their momentum deflecting them time and time again into human meteors across the training circle. More than once Naruto's grip shook as his hands trembled attempting to maintain his grip.

The flame was ever-hungry. It was always searching for its next meal.

And so on the clashes continued as clone or student danced with their masters to a deadly melody. The Water Sect combined the defensive properties of Earth with the deadly striking temper of Flame, lulling its opponent in with a sedate two-handed defense only to uncoil like a serpent when the target's defense grew complacent. The fierce Lightning Sect relied on fierce speed to breathe life into its strikes given the debilitating power of its element missing with the elemental ban on the exam as opponents raced to be the first to draw blood. With Shadow being primarily an assassin's art, the two sat and traded stories while the fierce double-weaponed Wind Sect twirled in their deadly dance, dual blades sparking repeatedly against each other with the fluidity and grace of a gentle summer breeze through the raised poles breaking up the flat ground of their combat arena.

~III~

 **~ The Grotto, Training Day 25 ~**

Naruto, resting on his feet in what he'd learned was called The Chamber of Lights, was kneeling calmly between Ella and Opal, one to either side. Around them in the chamber where he'd first sought the Oracle of Tides anxiously awaited the entire summoning clan. Proudly standing behind him were his aunt, his cousin, and his Guardians, who were bedecked in full battle gear.

He'd survived their trials without ever knowing he was undergoing them. He'd considered it all training for the finals of the exam tackling it all with his trusty bullheaded determination.

In the process, he'd earned their respect and something more.

His eyes looked down to the royal blue cloth folded neatly on the hard earth before his knees (secretly he was hoping this ceremony would hurry up because no chakra use was permitted and the chamber floor was rather uncomfortable to kneel on). It wasn't the cloth that held his interest but the leather harness needed to carry his new _Fang_ , the Walker's blade.

Unlike the weapons of his Guardians, unlike the renamed Severing Sword stolen by Kisame and bequeathed to a thieving Mizu no Kuni, this weapon was one solid sheet of glistening black metal. Only the edge, which gleamed like liquid fire, was a different color, the guardless pommel wrapped in sturdy leather from the hide of deceased Shadow Sect Wyrmkin. The blade apparently attached to a circular disk in the center of his back using magnetic seals that released only upon the pommel being gripped or by being commanded by its wielder - if within visual range of the weapon.

They keyed the blade to his blood (as proof to unlock all of the weapon's seals) and his chakra at the end of yesterday's test, the blade humming an eerie melody reminiscent of whales for a good half hour while their chakras harmonized.

For a non-sentient weapon, Naruto found it unsettling at first, the melody becoming more soothing the more in sync their energies became.

Naruto was having a hard time following Poseidus's meandering speech, something about the clans being whole again and the renewed blah-blah-blah. He knew his tenant was paying attention and they could rewind it all later but, for right now, his focus was locked on the reinforced chest resting just beyond his new blade and his hard-won gear waiting to be claimed.

He was going to enjoy the first day of the competition.

Behind him, Keina leaned over and every human not kneeling in front of the long-winded hypocrite leaned in to listen.

"Pack everything up. We're returning to Konoha tonight and no training for the last five days,"

Sharp nods responded all around.

"Make sure all of our friends are at the house tonight so we can confirm everything is still a-go." The Guardians nodded this time, Kirameki having been fully read into the plan and anxious to prove her worth to her new mas- _Walker_.

~III~

 **~ Konoha, Training Day 27 (Late Friday Evening) ~**

From the overhung safety of the clan wall safeguarding the new Uzumaki Ambassadorial Compound, Naruto Uzumaki watched the ANBU materialize, glance around briefly, then saunter off towards the nearby Aburame estate. It wasn't like he had a ton of time to vanish using Ero-sennin's signature jutsu; the sulking agent was good but, then again, most active ANBU were fairly good. Despite that, a three-second delay after chaining a half dozen Body Flickers opened up just enough space to get hidden behind the compound's cloaking seals.

It would appear that Konoha picked up quickly on their return and was soon back up to their old games. His sigh registered all of his disappointment.

Turning away from the street, he jumped down to the immaculately tended lawn of his family estate knowing anyone else would have a difficult time sneaking in without him being alerted. Forget sneaking into the mansion itself unless they were keyed into the seals blanketing the place. He would know having been shown them all by the Naozumi family over the past year, a few of which the elder family man only had remote ideas of what they did.

A small pulse of chakra from his palm and the double doors made of imported wood, mahogany he once heard it called, swung open soundlessly only to swing shut immediately after he passed through. For such a small clan, Mizuki's people had quality tastes.

Once inside the main entrance, he quickly made his way to the central living room and plopped down tiredly into one of the over-cushioned chairs next to the in-ground fireplace, his right hand swinging up almost on reflex as another gentle hand placed a saucer of room temperature sake into it.

"Welcome home, Naruto-sama."

Naruto glanced to the right side of his very comfortable chair with a deadpanned grimace at the formal greeting. If he thought he could break the Hyōton user of the annoying habit, he just might give it an honest go. Instead, he sipped the refreshing drink and turned his attention back to the business at hand.

"Is he gone?" Naruto's voice seemed almost lethargic even as his eyes rose to lock with the vibrant redhead sitting across from him in the other comfy chair, similar drink in hand. It took an enormous feat of mental strength to not call her "Kaa-san" once Dragon took off the mask the night the Uzumaki CRA was announced. If she objected to the few times he actually let it slip, he'd never heard the eldest Uzumaki royal object to it and he'd never corrected it after.

It just felt right.

"Ferret moved on to the Aburame estate, but I doubt he'll be fooled next time." Her voice snapped him out of his funk with a nod.

"It won't matter once we're set up in the original Uzumaki estate. We won't need to sneak around much longer." His eyes took in the two locked chests resting next to a third with the lid wide open. He could see a couple dozen scrolls resting inside the banded footlockers and smiled at the mementos of his parents.

 _'No more hiding,'_ he thought with a vengeance.

"If things are going so according to plan," everyone looked up at the purplette just now settling into the three-cushion sofa, "when are you planning to pick up our last member?" Several eyes turned expectantly to the blond ringleader.

"I'm going tonight but we're not there yet. We need to get past the first day of competition to be sure."

Anko shivered right before excepting her own drink. "You are so deep in debt for this."

He couldn't deny that. There was a huge debt to repay but he'd address that soon enough. It was time to switch the focus of the conversation.

"Glad to see that you all made it here safely," Naruto began making all eyes turn to him. "We have a few things to adjust, however, with the wrench Konoha threw into the third phase not to mention there will be almost twice as many dignitaries coming to the exams this year."

Anko let loose with a long whistle even as Haku poured her a fresh refill and deposited the bottle atop the end table near her elbow. "We babysittin' them all?"

"No, definitely not." Anko deflated in relief immediately. "I'm only concerned with Yuki, Nadeshiko, and our guests for the night."

Everyone turned to raise toasts to a fiercely blushing Hinata, both her arms wrapped equally fiercely around the right bicep of an almost uncomfortable Shino Aburame.

"Uzumaki-sama-." He was stopped almost immediately by Naruto's raised palm.

"You've known me too long to go with that formality crap."

Everyone could see the highly-disciplined bug nin struggling but he eventually nodded forcing out a tepid, "Naruto-san."

Naruto chalked it up to progress and shrugged it away.

"Hinata-hime and I wish to thank you for all you've done for us. The Aburame, so long as I breathe, will forever be in your debt." His words were accompanied by a deep bow mirrored by his mother and father standing directly behind the grateful couple.

"Hey, hey! None of that now!" Naruto scooted over to start picking people up. "We're not out of the woods yet, Shino. Remember, we need to keep it up until the end of day one. Okay?"

Despite the excited buzzing Naruto could hear clear as day, he was still shocked to be embraced by the stoic shinobi, which was in turn followed by one from Hinata, his mother Junko Aburame, and finally his father, Shibi.

"Make sure you take the tunnels back, Shino. I'll make sure she gets to the finals unmolested by her evil family."

With a final embrace for his bride-to-be, Shino departed with his parents via tunnels linking both estates.

"Do they have a chance?" Naruto turned to answer his cousin's question with a frown.

"It's hard to say. The Fire Daimyo refused the Hokage's request for help in breaking the marriage contract which makes me think he has a personal stake in this. That makes me question just how much the Hyuuga actually fought to negotiate for her freedom." Naruto wasn't going to leave it to chance keeping his plans to emancipate her up to the very end.

"It's been harder to get information out of the old man since my formal resignation," Keina casually commented once the barrier seals underground registered them clear of the walls, "however, he requested help from the Komodo Squad during stages two and three," she motioned to the six hooded figures lurking near the edges of the large room, "so that means there are dribbles we can use coming our way."

It was becoming increasingly obvious that her decade-and-a-half of service to the village meant next to nothing – a "not what you've done for us but what have you done lately" sort of relationship. Shrugging off the bitter feelings of betrayal, she leaned forward to unroll a map of the village across the coffee table resting between the three comfortable pieces of furniture and began laying out what little she knew.

They would strategize late into the night before parting to go their separate ways, Naruto leaving a squad of six clones to provide security for the night while he stepped out for a minute.

Everything hinged on getting through the first two stages without fumbling the plan.

~III~

 **~ Yamanaka Flower Emporium ~**

"I'm off to bed, mom."

"Night sweety." Inoichi did not join in, his cup of tea steaming quietly in his palms much like his emotions did at his daughter's tragic regression to fan-girlism.

"You wrong her with this grudge," Sumiko gently chided.

"I can't support this." His eyes were bloodshot and pained. "I just can't."

"So you'd push her away?"

Turning away from her temporary perch at the bend in their stairwell, Ino tried to block out the latest rehash of her horrific social life. There wasn't anything new there to spice it up so lurking like some gargoyle wasn't going to make the conversation any more palatable.

 _'Just another sparkling day at the Yamanaka Clan!'_

To be honest this had been the worst month of her life and there didn't appear to be a respite in the near future. She huffed once trying to remind herself that the end was in sight. Getting Chunin would put her in line to transfer soon out of active duty. _'Chunin and I'm done!'_

Yeah, that sounded just fine to her.

Stepping into her darkened room while closing the door softly behind herself, Ino reached over to flick on the light pausing as the bulb pulsed briefly before she heard a POP followed by the smell of burning ozone.

 _'Perfect! Just like that the rest of my day turns to-.'_

Her train of thought cut off as a very firm forearm wrapped around her shoulders as a gloved hand clamped over her mouth.

Her reaction was automatic as her foot stomped down on the instep of her attacker, who promptly released a strangled groan of pain. While he was preoccupied with a bleeding shin, she reached up and grabbed the thumb of the hand covering her mouth yanking viciously down and away from her face.

Her attacker had two choices: he could try to overpower her (and lose a thumb) or roll with it. The figure, who was taller than her, thumping gently across her carpeted floor chose wisely but that wouldn't help him much when the kunai in her hand chased after him.

Down below, Sumiko paused mid-breath glancing up to the ceiling.

~III~

"...and I don't see why- you okay dear?" Inoichi caught her distraction only for his wife to shake her head briefly brushing off what she thought she heard as part of her imagination. Internally she was hiding a smile behind her tea knowing full well that things were about to hopefully turn for the better.

 _'About time he fought for her,'_ she carped.

~III~

The figure rolled tucking in his shoulder and kicking off the bedframe to swing his foot around placing his feet against her stomach. She anchored her feet and leaned in hoping to pin him down as her weaponized hand descended towards what she hoped was a head.

There was _THUMP_ as her forearm clashed with the forearm of her attacker, his second hand reaching across the shadowed figure to clamp onto hers in a vise-like grip.

~III~

"Come dear," Sumiko gently patted her now irritated husband's hand as she steered him upstairs towards their bedroom, "we aren't going to solve this tonight."

"Don't tell me you're comfortable with her returned infatuation on that psychopath?!" Inoichi followed along despite his unrequited angst.

"Of course not dear." She climbed steadily hoping to distract him with more pleasant diversions. "Now come bed me before it grows too late and sleep steals another aggressive night of snuggling.

Inoichi, despite grumbling his way up the stairs, could not ignore the possibility of his favorite after-hours pastime.

~III~

Ino grunted as she pushed against the masked figure in her room, her ears picking up the gentle conversation of her parents headed upstairs to bed meaning things were about to become a bit more complicated. Sucking in a lungful of air, she prepared to scream for help only to be interrupted on the hissing "H" of her exhale turning a yelled "Help" into more of a "H- _urrk_!"

She landed on her bed, her attacker up off the floor and straddling her waist in the blink of an eye even though their wrists and forearms stayed locked together. Gritting her teeth as she pushed upwards with her kunai to keep him engaged, her left hand broke free grabbed a handful of cloth yanking the mask from his head revealing the pained eyes and blond hair of Naruto Uzumaki.

 _KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Both sets of eyes grew enormous at the sound of Ino's mother just past her bedroom door.

"Ino! Are you okay dear?!"

~III~

* * *

 _ **Omake: Friends to the Bitter End**_

"Naruto, do you have a minute?"

The blond Genin glanced up from the seventh volume of his latest obsession: Volume Seven of the Konoha _Fūinjutsu_ Compendium. He really should have been asleep considering he had third watch in a few hours, a fact that would make their early morning all the more painful but what could you do. His eyes locked with the ice blue orbs of his gorgeous teammate bringing a smile to his lips and a flush to her cheeks, which he found incredibly attractive.

"Always for you, Ino-hime." Setting the tome aside, he rested his hands on his lotus-folded legs and waited as she flopped down directly in front of him, a heavy sigh following her on the way down. It didn't take long to realize it must have been important once her eyes started searching avidly for anything of interest on the ground of their campsite.

"Okay, what's wrong?" He figured it was either humor her for an hour while she floundered with whatever she wanted to say or cut to the chase so he could get back to studying up on linking complex arrays, timing interfaces and Stage III Sealing Logic.

She twitched but her eyes never left the ground, her comments a mumbled and incoherent mess.

"I'm sorry," he sputtered out, "you want me to _what_?!"

"I want you to save her," the distraught blond mumbled just a bit louder forcing the male blond to blink unresponsively before muttering out a stuttered...

"Save… _who_?"

"It's 'whom' not 'who' and that 'whom' is _Hinata_."

Naruto promptly ignored the trademark expletive from the Nara heir on the other side of the campfire. They'd had this conversation before, but he'd been able to either forestall it or escape to a "prior engagement." Here in the middle of a mission, he had nowhere to run meaning he couldn't delay the inevitable any longer.

"Have you thought this through?" he countered, a question that caught the kunoichi flat-footed.

"…"

"It's a simple question, Ino. Have you really thought this through?"

"What is there to think about, Naruto?" Her eyes were pleading. "If she marries that… _pig_ … she'll be miserable!"

"Ino…" he tried to interrupt gently before she fell too deeply into an emotional spiral. Ino was clearly having none of it.

"She doesn't deserve what's going to happen to her!"

"Ino…"

"He's going to abuse her even worse than her family does!"

"Ino, please…"

" _She LOVES YOU!"_ her emotional explosion caught him flat-footed that time, Shika taking that exact moment to get up from his bedroll and go on a quiet stroll to give the couple some space.

Naruto let out a heavy sigh of his own wondering if he should disabuse her of her faulty assumption. Instead, he opted to steer her around to joining his skullduggery. "So, what happens when- _IF_ ," he corrected, _"…_ she agrees to this crazy scheme and the Daimyo sends his samurai to murder us all?"

"That's easy! All she has to do is leave her clan and then you can swoop in and scoop her up!" He almost facepalmed himself but the excitement in her eyes showed just how much faith she had in everything magically working out like some fairy-tale involving knights and villains. Not to be dissuaded, she pressed on hurriedly.

"All you have to do is keep the Uzumaki diplomatic thingy going and they can't touch you!" Ino, as brilliant as she was, had never been the greatest strategist.

"And we'll just live happily ever after? Me, you, and Hinata-chan?" he asked with more than a bit of skepticism in his voice. Despite her now raging blush, Ino nodded her head enthusiastically afraid to speak more or her sudden rush of daring-do might fail her.

"Do you remember those weird physics classes we took during the second year?" Here Ino faced scrunched up in utter shock at the sudden topic shift.

"Huh?"

"You remember, especially that one weird day with the rules about heat dynamics… that really old science no one uses anymore…" His hands were flailing about as he tried to recall the unfamiliar subject until Ino's eyes suddenly lit up.

"You're talking about those _Laws of Thermodynamics_ Iruka was so excited about." Naruto nodded, his eyes taking on a sneaky cast in the dim light - his photographic memory had a detailed explanation of the subject but she didn't need to know that. "It was the only class Sasuke actually took an interest in."

It wasn't too hard to see why she remembered it then. Despite the heavy focus on elemental chakra to generate Katon energy, the Academy still taught a fundamental understanding of the elements, kinetics, and energy transfer. The intent was to establish a basic familiarity with the old sciences of the previous era as the knowledge could help in tactical planning; knowing how fire acted and reacted could help a shinobi corner or kill an opponent through the cunning use of traps. Sasuke's natural fire affinity drew him to the topic but Ino found she just liked the old theories - she enjoyed the sciences of the past.

"Why bring those up?"

"Let's use that one about opposite reactions to break down what will happen if I 'rush off to save Hinata'," he challenged complete with air quotes. "What's the initial action?"

"We help Hinata escape," Ino responded resolutely.

"Okay," he acknowledged, "and we will assume that my hiding behind the Uzu Alliance keeps the Fire Daimyo out of the problem, for now. What is the opposite reaction we should immediately be concerned about?" Ino chewed her lower lip for a moment deep in thought.

"This act ruins her arranged marriage and the Hyuugas get really angry?" She seemed less certain about this answer.

"That's their reaction, a side effect at best. What would they do as a result of being angry? How could they hurt her… or us?" His questions provoked several more minutes of really cute lip chewing.

"They might look to punish her," she began before her head shot up and their eyes met. "They might try to get even with us." Her eyes were focusing now as she chewed through the problem.

"And how could they do either of those?" he returned. She was almost there he just needed to push a bit farther.

"They could kill her. They could disown her, but they would need to brand her first." Ino's brow knotted up in concentration. "Hinata mentioned that the clan seal gets dangerous to apply the older the member is meaning that act alone might kill her, and they would get off completely free of charges stating she was just too old to be branded. What's worse is we can't prevent it since it's their clan tradition and she'd be branded the moment she tried to leave."

Naruto nodded slowly but she wasn't done yet.

"Worst case they could brand her then use the seal to kill her saying she died of complications. No one would know the truth other than those slimy elders." Here she began to growl. "Once they finished with her, they might target us as a way to get revenge."

He nodded at the end of her process. "So, you need to ask yourself two things, he began while she focused in on his next words. "Is this a risk worth taking and," his eyes got really serious at this point, "if it is, how do we save her without her clan killing her before she can escape them, preferably without the caged bird seal being applied to her."

She sagged at the near-impossible mission objective.

"Figure those two out and we'll talk about what to do." He calmly picked up his tome and resumed reading.

"You never refused to take her in," Ino said with a smile growing on her face as the seconds ticked by. "If we save her, you do realize that you'll have to marry her to keep her safe." Naruto glanced up from his book as he mulled over words.

"No, I guess I didn't refuse, did I?" Her smile only grew larger as he went back to reading chapter twelve of his current volume.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** *The oath recited right before the Kenjutsu challenge is developed from the _Bushido Code: The Eight Virtues of the Samurai_. I thought it prevalent given the Uzumaki blade master heritage and liberally adopted that oath from the Unwritten Samurai Code of Conduct as expounded upon by Nitobe (1899) - so don't blame Nitobe for me being a baddie!

~Siva'a


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N:** Wow, I'm pretty humbled by the response to "Looking More than Underneath." To date, I think that's the biggest update I've cranked out and I'm glad the majority of you approved (almost 4,000 views in 36 hours). Also, thanks for the reviews (wish there were more to help refine the story) and PMs; they really do help fine-tune the rest of the story.

 **NOTE:** Guardians are not human, they are half-human/ half-Umihebi. This was revealed after Naruto's bonding so, if there are any more questions on that, all of the details - the good and the bad - are spread out over several chapters (and yes, the Umihebi initially tell their summoners that breeding with sea serpents is not possible due to incompatible biology, however, an entire colony of half-breeds begs to differ on that point).

As to the confusion about character development, did you really think that Naruto would not have a plan to turn Konoha's plot against them? What about all that "Underneath the Underneath" stuff I've been hinting at?

This chapter became sorta liquid as I edited it. Keep reading, the details are below.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 41: Secrets Brought to Light**_

 _A student said to his master, "You teach me fighting, but you talk about peace. How do you reconcile the two?" The master replied, "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war."_ – Unknown

~III~

* * *

 _KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Both sets of eyes grew enormous at the sound of Ino's mother just past her bedroom door.

"Ino! Are you okay dear?!"

Still locked in their struggle for supremacy, neither had managed to gain control of the kunai pointed upwards at the neck of the blond figure straddling the blonde.

"Y-Yeah, I'm okay mom! Just hit my shin."

"Do you need me to come in and take a look at it, dear?"

"What?! No! I can take care of it on my own!"

They could hear Inoichi trying to insert himself into the conversation.

"Maybe we should leave her be, Hime-Waaah!" They could hear the distinct _SMACK_ of flesh on flesh. "OW! What was that for?!"

"Shush! My daughter might need some motherly advice."

"MOM! _Personal_ time!"

" _Personal time_? What does she mean by-?" His words trailed off only to be followed by and anguished, "OH! Oh… but that's… I _don't need to KNOW THAT!_ " Her father's panicked footsteps could be heard hurriedly pattering down the hallway to their bedroom.

"Don't stay up to late dear." Her voice came through the door in a hushed whisper a second later. "And try not to keep her up too late, Naruto-kun."

"Mooooooooooom!" Ino's wail followed her mother's giggling voice down the hallway, the older woman hoping this was an opportunity to win her daughter back from the precipice of stupidity.

At this point, Ino Yamanaka's face was a healthy beet color, her eyes closed tightly trying to unhear everything happening on the other side of her bedroom door.

"I didn't mean to get you in-Mmph!"

It's difficult to speak with another person's lips smashed into your own as Naruto discovered the moment her mother was behind the closed door of her bedroom. Ino compressed her abdominals and surged up to lock lips feverishly with her counter-blond.

The kunai went one way with a casual flick of Ino's wrist, the same hand breaking free (now that he was distracted with her mouth) and the now unencumbered appendage grabbed a handful of shirt tugging his body one way while she pressed upwards with her hips effectively rolling him onto his back and her on top of him.

Eventually, the fervor of youth must give way to the biological need for oxygen and the two broke for air.

"Oh- _smooch_ -dear- _smooch_ -Kami! I've been- _smooch_ -hoping to see you- _SMOOCH_ -for weeks now!" Apparently, she did not appreciate his laughing smile and slapped his chest with a severe case of the pouts, which only became cuter with her lips swollen from their aggressive workout.

"It was your idea to help Hinata and Shino. Do you know how hard it was for her to use our little meet-ups to pass me information about what's going on in her clan?" Naruto remembered each time she hugged him and managed to slip a small fold of paper under his jumpsuit collar or into a pocket. He also remembered the times they'd just sit and talk and she'd slip in words during their normal conversation every fifth or sixth spot, sentences he'd have to memorize, write down, and decipher later. It was hell to recreate.

"I know, I know and I'm grateful that we can help them. Really I am." She let loose a heavy sigh that rapidly faded as her pensive look gave way to rampant curiosity, her lower body gently coming to rest atop his own.

"I thought she was heads-over-heels mad about you." He liked how her brow wrinkled up cutely in thought. "You never explained to me how that got all twisted around towards Shino." She did not miss his deep breath before speaking.

"She wasn't in love with me," he began with, his head shaking side to side as her incredulous position at such a statement started to rise. "She was in love with the _idea_ of me."

"Huh?"

"No one really knows what goes on behind the walls of the Hyuuga estate but I can tell you after sitting with her and slowly drawing out some of the truth that she's an incredibly lonely girl."

Ino nodded at what was considered common knowledge among the female crowd.

"What most don't know is that her home life is a horrible one made even worse by her normally shy nature and tragic past."

"Tragic?" He tried not to let her quirky eyebrow distract him, instead letting his hands distract her by lightly trace gentle circles at the small of her back making the sensitive kunoichi shudder at the delicious sensation.

"The Hyuuga kidnapping some ten years ago?" He watched her mind work as she sifted through the mental sludge that accumulates over the years before the light came on, her eyebrows rising up to kiss her bangs. "Yeah, well there are some in her clan that blame her for that whole mess."

"That's stupid," she hissed. "She was what? Three at the time?"

"You aren't wrong but that doesn't mean people are rational in their grief. More and more I believe that to be the case with her mother's death and her father's emotional abuse of her. It doesn't help that she's far too gentle to ever be a killer in a clan that see themselves as the pinnacle of warrior development. All she's ever wanted to do is heal others be it mentally, physically or emotionally."

Ino's lips pursed, her eyes flitting down to watch her fingers as they toyed with his shirt. "Konoha's Shinobi Corps is voluntary. Why doesn't she just quit?"

"Daddy dearest won't let her." Naruto did enjoy the way her mouth formed a silent "O" at his response. "Perhaps he's hoping she'll get taken on out mission and then he can legally solve several problems with one solution. He's made no secret how he thinks her younger sister would make a better heiress."

Ino's disgusted "tsk" let him know where she stood on that argument.

"Yeah, so she's got issues - a _lot_ of them and that's where her feelings for me come in." Her eyes shot up to stare into his again, her interest obviously peaked.

"She's watched me from a distance most of my life and she's never seen me give up or cave into the hate. She doesn't know why the village hates me but she can see it and what she's fallen, er, originally fell in love with was the _ideal_ of a strong-willed orphan standing strong against the odds." He reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "With her very loving and supportive mother's death at the age of five, she somehow transposed her lack of support and lack of strength on to me believing that I could somehow help her get stronger if she just lived by my example. She'd put me on a pedestal that's just too hard to maintain."

"Transference," Ino mumbled waving off his question with an "I'll explain another time" look.

"Originally I started meeting with her trying to help her overcome her shyness and lack of confidence. We became friends and, I think, I was able to help her realize that I'm not the guy she thinks I am. I think, once we hit that milestone sometime during our last year in the academy, she was finally able to look at the rest of her world objectively and that's when she noticed Shino."

"Yeah, I get that but... _Shino?!_ " Naruto's face wrinkled up in slight annoyance.

"And why not Shino?" He countered. "He's quiet and withdrawn, like she is, meaning he's a much calmer influence in her life than I ever could be. He's honestly a very kind-hearted fella more than willing to do what it takes to support and protect her, and that goes a long way with that sharp mind he's carrying around. Also, his family has been helping her tend to the garden she inherited from her mother, something that is very near and dear to Hinata. It was only a matter of time before she noticed him without me fogging up the view."

Ino's head tilted sideways as she considered the argument on "bug boy's" behalf.

"Okay, I can see that but I'd just gotten used to the idea that I might have to share you with this whole CRA nonsense and, while I'd rather not, there are worse sister-wife candidates out there."

"Like?" He was secretly pleased that he and Hinata managed to keep people from deducing what was really going on. If Kiba's constant interference was any indication, their misdirection was still working and that was good for the plan. It was crucial to keeping the Yamanaka safely isolated when the crap started rolling downhill in his direction.

"Like that sneaky heifer from Nadeshiko." Ino's eyes narrowed dangerously and Naruto astutely pushed that topic off for another time, much to Ino's grumbling dissent.

"At least tell me, can I stop the act now?!" Her pupilless eyes were hopeful, the ice blue orbs searching his deep blue ones for some hope of reprieve only to be disappointed with the hesitant look on his face.

"Oh, come… ooooooooooon!"

He had to shush her with quick pecks on the lips to keep her rising voice down. "Our plan to get help from the Fire Daimyo failed, sorry Hime, so we still need you and your family clear of the blast zone until Hinata is truly free."

"Why?! You know we'd stand with you in a heartbeat," she whispered through gnashed teeth. His caution on her behalf made no sense even if it did make her chest constrict with warmth. "Also, why would he take some third-rate cousin over keeping you in Konoha and on his-." Her voice trailed off as her sharp mind began to muddle through the problem peeling apart the layers of deception.

"Do you see it?" Naruto asked hoping the bad news might be a bit easier to swallow if she reached the same conclusion he did on her own.

"He would have to be banking on a bigger reward to refuse." Her teeth were worrying her lower lip as she came to rest fully on his chest, her hips comfortably secure on top of his own. "But what would be more important than the last Uzumaki heir?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know but I'm willing to bet he's been promised something big to keep the arrangement."

"Damnit!" she hissed. "That means I need to keep hugging on that smarmy bastard, don't I?" His nod of agreement dropped her forehead into the middle of his chest and she wept mock tears of suffering.

"Every time I touch him, I feel this unshakeable need to dip my entire body in vinegar. I'm running out of disinfectant baby wipes, ugh!"

"We can stop any time you want."

"NO!" she hissed. "Hinata needs this to be free of her clan." Her eyes came up to meet his own. "It's just hard, y'know? It was hard before we staged that big fight at the Dango Stop, it was hard rehashing it at training," her hand casually stroked his cheek where she'd struck him during that pretend-fight, "and it got really hard in front of the Hokage. Plus, the last time I glomped the teme, he spun around and hugged me back. I had to use some slick moves to keep his grubby mitts off my sexy tush."

It got the reaction she was hoping for as his beautiful blue eyes pulsed a deep purple even in the darkness of her room.

"Hey, none of that. I can handle myself," she chided as her palm gently smacked his left pec. "Is our 'Plan B' ready?"

"Yes, and that means we just need to get through the first day of fights. After that, if he touches you, I'll break his hands."

"Thank you for doing this for them and thank you for not abandoning me back when I first told you about this stupid mission the Elders gave me."

His only response was to gently kiss her until their lungs started to burn again.

"It turned out to be the best thing for us since we got to spend a lot of time together and managed to feed some crappy information back to the old buzzards. I'm still not letting Shika in on the truth." He kissed her again as her mouth opened wide in disapproval. "Not yet. He was more than happy to go along with this whole plot, so he hasn't earned the right to join in on our side yet."

She didn't like it but she'd go along with it for now. Shika was their teammate and he'd come through more than once but it was his call now after co-opting her "seduction" mission and making her a double agent.

Another twenty minutes of face-sucking and body groping and a very heated Naruto eventually rose from the bed to pad silently across the room to the corner by her dresser. Turning around to face her, he shot her a flirty wink as something ink-like slithered around his torso making her gasp. There was a brief pulse from what appeared to be a purplish pair of eyes up by his right shoulder, the corner grew very dark, and then the overhead light slowly came on to reveal an empty room.

She was sure it was empty because she checked everywhere after he left. It was like he just… vanished.

Not ten seconds after she closed her closet thinking that she'd need some real "personal time" after their brief makeout session, the sound of pebbles plinking off her bay window drew her across the room to the hopeful face of one Sasuke Uchiha down at street level.

With a deep sigh and a fake smile, she prepared herself for the arduous task of sending him home unfulfilled cursing the Fire Daimyo under her breath.

~III~

Samui followed the enormously imposing figure of her Raikage into one of the six posh penthouse suites of the Olive Branch, this one taking up half of the entire rooftop of the central building. She wasn't worried about the Mizukage just on the far side of the walled divider splitting up their two suites; her Konoha concierge had been very clear on the _Fūinjutsu_ barrier separating dignitaries in order to prevent "misunderstandings" that could lead to international incidents.

It was unfortunate that the bungalows were already taken up by daimyos, but rank had its privileges.

Her mind snapped back to the present as A's heavy footsteps halted him near the central sitting area, his Kage hat resting on the low coffee table. Throwing one heavily muscled arm over the back of the couch, he turned his sharp eyes on her, his blond eyebrows knitting together to almost form a Tori gate cresting his brow.

"Where are we with the Uzu Daimyo?"

Samui's impressive chest expanded to help provide her answer but Mabui was faster.

"He's been missing for the month." Her answer was clipped and professional.

"Missing?!"

Samui knew that tone. It never meant anything good and expensive things tended to break shortly thereafter.

"He's a Genin in the competition. Apparently, he's been training at a secret facility."

The blond eyebrows rose almost back to the normal resting place as he turned to Samui looking for confirmation. She gave it with a brief nod.

"Hnh, at least we'll get a shot at the formal dinner to speak with him."

Mabui pulled out her trusty clipboard and began running down the itinerary for the next four days. Apparently, Saturday and Sunday were free, and the hotel had a Kage-level training facility one floor below this one, complete with in-door onsen and sauna.

A grunted his approval and that indicated where he'd be spending his free time.

"He must be back in town by now. I expect the two of you to get as close to him as you can." The tone in his voice made it very clear as to what his expectations were. "Iwa is killing us with those second-hand seals from Konoha's Consortium and we need to get back on their international trade agreement as soon as possible."

Samui went to speak again only to find herself blocked by Mabui yet again.

"We understand the A.S.C. is under new management. Perhaps it is a simple oversight."

A's grunt as he rose to his feet signaled the end of the conversation. "Catch Yugito up to speed once she returns. I'll be below testing this workout facility."

Once he was past them and out the door, Samui wheeled on Mabui angrily.

"What are you doing?!"

"I've read your reports, cousin." Her voice was calm, clipped, and professional like always. "All you have without hard proof is conjecture and that will do us no good until he's had a chance to speak with the Daimyo."

Samui snorted in disbelief. " _Conjecture?! I was there!_ "

"A Daimyo, doing Genin level escort missions? Pfft! Wild speculation at best."

Samui goggled at the daintier female.

"Wild...?! He's here in the Chunin Exams, isn't he?" She was beyond irritated at this point. "This is going to bite us all in the rear, Mabui. Not cool, lady."

Mabui could only watch as the angry specialist stormed from the room to her adjacent quarters. She hoped Samui would be able to forgive her at some point but Kumo needed to pay for what they did to their family.

One way or another, she would find a way out for both them and Atsui.

~III~

Saturdays and Sundays were scheduled as free days, as explained by the scroll delivered by a raccoon-faced ANBU.

"What does he want now?" Karin chirped out from behind him as the door closed with a soft _CLICK_.

Settling into the smaller table just off the kitchen since the island was once again inhabited by Guardians in various bedtime attire, Naruto glanced over his shoulder to his crimson-haired cousin just in time to get a "good morning" peck on the cheek, his face blushing at his cousin's very friendly disposition. "I am to meet with the Council Sunday night before the festivities officially begin. Apparently, there will be a separate brief declassified to civilian levels to make sure the casualty plan is set."

Konoha's Casualty Plan consisted mostly of protecting vital infrastructure and evacuating civilians to wartime bunkers for their safety. With Orochimaru being a major factor in the invasion, it was safe to say that the long-established plan was, at best, heavily compromised.

Keina leaned over his right shoulder to gently peck his other cheek. "Morning, Sochi."

Naruto's mumbled response to his "Kaa-chan," with his eyes locked on the scroll, made her giggle, her thoughts on a rare serious side to her older sister when she would do the same thing.

"Since we're still part of the defense plan, we are 'respectfully requested' to attend upon the hour of seven p.m." He rolled up the missive before passing it to his mother figure even as her follow-up question caught him with a glass of orange juice invading his face.

"I assume the real mission brief will happen sometime later?"

 _SLURP_ -nod- _SLURP_. He loved orange juice, still a novel experience after being denied most of this life.

"That leaves plenty of time between now and then, Naruto-sama." Twitching eyebrow and all, Naruto glanced up at the fresh plate of eggs, bacon, toast with a side serving of cubed fruit in time to get a gentle kiss to his forehead by Haku. "What will you do between now and then?"

He promptly turned his eyes away from the soft view of her dainty cleavage provided by the slightly open neck of her sleeping yukata when she kissed him.

Several of the women in the room, including his female Guardians, giggled at his consternation while the bigger males chuckled.

"Just accept it, Walker," Umi taunted. "We've never won against any of them."

Naruto also ignored the comical representation of one of his more emotive Guardians sipping coffee (their latest addiction, given their dwindling supply) while snug in his giant-sized Navy-blue PJs sporting leaping silver dolpins. The chuckling-slash-giggling continued unabated regardless.

"Training will be out of the question. If I'm not ready by now, I never will be." The eggs were hot and fluffy giving him a peaceful feeling as he chased it down with toast, bacon, and dark coffee fresh from the new pot. "Besides, we can't afford for spies - from any side - to get the drop on us."

Several nods of agreement caught his eye over the "Who's Your Tou-san?" Mug, which made him smirk.

"I'm planning to visit the A.S.C. to make sure Abe-san and his family are okay and will be safe during the attack. Ishi-kun, Nisshoku-chan, Sandā-kun, I leave the protection of the Naozumi family and my beloved cousin in your capable hands." Locking eyes with each of them conveyed exactly how important he felt that request was and they each acknowledged it without hesitation, his eyes catching the rampant blush of his cousin despite her recent bonding with Titus.

He was very surprised when she flashed him her coiled dragon seal with Titus's head resting on her right shoulder during their stay at the Grotto - he really didn't need to see his cousin's naked chest but he was snatched from his growing embarrassment by the peacefully waiting Nishoku-chan standing just to his left.

When he looked up questioningly to her pinking face, she jerked her thumb from her lips (she worried her thumbnail with her teeth when she was nervous - an odd thing for their assassin to do), dipped quickly to kiss his nose, meeped in abject mortification as her face flushed a bright red, then darted off in her fox-themed onesie with its floppy ears flapping about haphazardly, bushy tail swinging side to side as she hastily retreated, and oversized feet slapping gently at the wooden floors of the hallway.

Sandā and Ichi both roared their approval, the latter slapping the counter repeatedly as he hissed like a leaky air valve and tried to find breath. Eventually, Sandā gained enough self-control to slurp down the last of his morning caffeine and slap a meaty hand on his silent brother's shoulder.

"Come, let us prepare for the day lest Walker-sama demands manly hugs from us as tokens of affection."

Naruto could only blink in surprise until the laughter died down once again.

"Will you be okay with so few protectors, Walker-sama?" Soyo-chan's face showed genuine concern sans her mercurial smirk but Naruto batted that away with a blinding smile of his own and a few kind words.

"I've no reason to worry with you three around, Soyo-chan."

Unfortunately, that comment earned him more affection from his Wind and Flame Guardians as they immediately responded by attacking his cheeks with their lips before going off to gear up, continued chuckling aside.

An hour later, a fully robed Uzu Daimyo departed his modest secondary estate thankfully lipstick free and flanked by his closest people and heavily armed guard escort. With the bright summer sun to greet them on a remarkably clear day, it was already working its way up to uncomfortable levels of mugginess as they departed the heavy levels of shade his new home afforded.

It still amazed him as to how destitute his life was back in the slums where nothing worked. Even small clans lived a magnitude level better than he did and that thought sometimes reared its head accompanied by brief bouts of disgust at Konoha's two-faced pettiness.

Shaking off those thoughts as his escort lead broke into the clogged levels of foot traffic along the main thoroughfare and hung a left, his mind temporarily pushed aside his agenda being gently rehashed by Haku at his left shoulder and noted the old adage that all roads eventually led to the Hokage. Given that the current plan called for all other major gates to be secured to foot traffic (the southern gate would remain open to mercantile use), every single body from every nation was traversing the east-west artery, many gawking in awe as vendors set about establishing their stalls under the watchful eyes of contracted Genin teams not involved in the exams and their Jounin senseis.

He also pointedly ignored the smooth motions of disguised Konoha shinobi filling out the roster of hired civilian labor for those same stalls.

He flicked his head over his left shoulder to acknowledge their first destination to Haku then glanced up towards the top of Konoha Stadium, its architecture reminiscent of a similar structure in a Roman culture no one would know of in his universe. His eyes took in the four life-sized statues framing the walkway up to the entrance (with many empty blocks of granite awaiting their future Hokage replicas) before streaking skyward to watch more Genin and Chunin placing banners representing all of the shinobi states of the elemental nations, Konoha and Uzushio taking a prominent position to the left and right of the entranceway.

His smile in that moment was genuine despite the recognition coming far to late in the game to matter. It made his eyes snap down to the battle pennant fluttering gently between Umi's shoulder blades, the Navy blue background proudly carrying the scarlet whirlpool of his home, his clan, as his Guardians - all of them - carried themselves a little straighter. He could feel their pride radiating outwards, something he imagined the amassed throng detected as well as the Guardians had little trouble carving a path through villager, visitor, vendor, and ANBU overseer alike.

The ANBU bowing respectfully to their little entourage didn't hurt either as the sea of humanity parted like a curtain before Umi's masked/ hooded scowl and broad shoulders.

The near three-meter glaive-type weapon gripped in his beefy right hand didn't hurt the perception of "imminent harm should you fuck with my Daimyo" one bit.

They moved on passing the hospital conveniently located another block closer to the Hokage on the left side of the thoroughfare, Ichiraku's stall setting up directly across from the A.S.C.'s temporary new home being manned by Abe-san himself and his youngest, Kiyoko. Naruto made sure to spend a few moments speaking with both vendors, his final moments spent with the good Naozumi family.

"Ah! Naruto-sama, a most welcome good morning to you!" Kiyo-chan seemed happy to see him, her father looking up from the shelves of the walled stand that would be their home for the next four days at the sound of his daughter's greeting.

"Kiyoko-chan, I hope your father isn't working you too terribly?" The teasing smile on his face made her blush as her chuckling parent joined them.

"And I hope Konoha has given you a satisfactory location, Abe-san?" The two gentlemen bowed to one another, the older man's genuflection much deeper than the younger.

"Konoha has been most generous," Abe responded, his voice easily carrying to the many nosy faces trying to get a glance at the A.S.C.'s latest offerings. Abe's, "Your clones have been most helpful in clearing out the office," was much softer and for his ears only as they both straightened up.

Both were very aware of the main storefront not two blocks away deep in the heart of the Business District of Konoha.

"It warms my heart, Abe-san." Without hand seals or words, four clones of Naruto appeared then henged into his dark shinobi gear atop brown-haired replicas of Tai-kun.

"These young lads will provide any additional assistance you need today, tomorrow, and the first two days of the ceremony."

Both men bowed and this time the younger one whispered back, "If you need me for any emergency, one of them will dispel and we will come to your assistance, old man."

Abe chuckled with a short, "Hai, Naruto-sama, and thank you. Your parents would be so very proud of you!"

Naruto moved on with a much lighter heart.

~III~

Tenten looked up as the bell of their storefront jingled merrily, snapping off a quick, "Be right there! Gimme a sec!"

Packaging up her current customer's purchases, she rang up their change and wished her fifth Genin team of the morning a good day, her heavy huff blowing loose strands of her hair buns away from her face.

"Hey, let me know if you guys have any questions over there about our kunai or senbon varieties," she barked out to two more squads haggling over durability versus economy. Stepping from around the counter she ignored yet another complaint about why they couldn't test out a few Stingers before buying and turned her attention to the good-sized party waiting patiently by her displays of shinobi body armor and TAC gear.

"So, what can I do for- _NARUTO!_ " Her eyes slid right past the massive blue-skinned bear of shinobi to the blond-haired joy of her life bedecked in flowing robes of rich blue and her father's admonishment to carefully watch foreign shinobi in their shop vanished like a puff of chakra smoke in the wind.

Without thinking she rushed forward to tackle him in her strongest hug only to "Urkk" in surprise as that same wall of blue muscle slipped an arm around her waist effortlessly hoisting her from the floor of her shop.

"She's fine, Umi!" Naruto chuckled. "You can release her since I don't think she'll hurt me too much for being away."

It was a very cross Tenten angrily brushing off the wrinkles to her attire, her glare directed upwards to see the slitted eyes and raised eyebrow of the large nin smirking back at her, right before she took off dashing the final step and a half so she could latch on to her blond comrade with a happy "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The sound briefly brought the elder Higurashi up from his shop in the back to shake his head ruefully before disappearing from view once again, the sound his hammer striking metal picking up again its steady lullaby.

"Oi! Where you been?!" Tenten punctuated her question with a gentle slap of his shoulder, much to the growling displeasure of the two heavily-armed kunoichis standing behind him.

"Missions, Ten-chan, and training for Wednesday. You know that already," he chided.

"Doesn't mean that you can't visit once in a while." He was trying to ignore her cute pout.

"Kinda have to be in town to visit."

Her eyebrow perked up in question.

"Allow me to introduce you to some of my newest, and most precious acquaintances, Ten-chan." Before her pout could turn into a glare he continued with, "First off is my adoptive mother, and my mother's twin sister, Keina Uzumaki, the Yondaime Uzukage."

 _'Glare halted, check. Pout vanished, check. Shocked glancing between Keina and myself, check-check. Embarrassed look turning into her frantically hopping down to smooth out her clothes before bowing formally to a powerful kunoichi she could find an appropriate role model, triple-check.'_

"Oh, please excuse my poor behavior, Uzukage-Shushō." Tenten's face blushed an immediate cherry-red to make Hinata proud.

Keina nodded her head in return, her eyebrow quirking at the unusual suffix added to her title. The last time she checked, which was this morning, she hadn't signed up to be the young kunoichi's role model or mentor.

"You know Haku, I believe."

Despite her respect for the skillful ice maiden, Tenten's jealous heart could not prevent the competitive scowl from her face.

"I'd like to finally introduce you to my clan's hereditary protectors, my Guardian detail comprised of _Umi_ , whom you've already met, _Taifū_ (the pale-skinned female nodded with a guarded expression), and _Kaen_."

Tenten bowed to each, in turn, noting the obviously surprised - pleasantly surprised look if the redheaded guard's body language was accurate - reaction to his final comment. She didn't know that the powerful female warrior couldn't use the name, which Tenten didn't know to recognize as such, until her Walker-sama bestowed the title upon her officially - and that meant publicly before at least two Guardians and one witness.

For Kira-chan, it was a very big deal as it made her official. She was now and forever a Guardian and she'd get her _Seal_ as soon as Keina could draw the ink on her breast right above her furiously beating heart.

Then Tenten recognized the swords strapped to the back of the two female Guardians and her eyes began to grow.

"Naruto!" The two female Halfkin tensed as hearts began to float in the bun-haired girl's eyes, her hands slowly reaching out to touch either/ both Zanbatō only to be lightly slapped away by both females.

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you tell me you knew how to make replicas?!" Unperturbed, her hands began their inexorable creep forward again only to be slapped, again.

"Replicas?" He pretended to be ignorant knowing full well what she was referring to.

"These!" She was pointing at the pommels sticking out behind their shoulders as she tried to get a better vantage point or one of the legendary blades in her hands.

"Oh, those." His casual response earned him a reproving glare from the weapon fangirl. "Don't worry, Ten-chan. By the time the finals are over, _everyone_ will know that these aren't cheap replicas and that Kiri is a nation of honorless thieves."

His vehemence surprised her even as he hugged her once more before the entire group peacefully left her shop. Much to her oblivious surprise (given her bout of weapon fandom), she failed to notice the bespectacled Kiri nin in the corner of her shop taking a look at the large weapons on her display wall and his sudden interest in the matching swords walking past the glass storefront.

"You think he'll deliver the message, Sochi?"

Outside as their group made their way to the Hokage's office as part of his second stop, Naruto's smile turned into an evil smirk.

"Oh, I think it's a safe assumption." He'd detected Chōjūrō and his ridiculously-sized knockoff the moment they entered the store.

His smile widened just a hair as his final clone tasked with keeping an eye on the Kiri delegation puffed away atop the building overlooking _Higurashi's_ entrance.

~III~

"Why are we here without our troublesome teammate?"

It was the fifth time in as many minutes that the lazy Nara had chucked out that particular question. It was also the same number of times he'd been ignored by the irritated group at their booth as Ino rolled her eyes at him before grabbing Fumiko-chan's hand to drag her out to the dance floor. Ino had noticed her less than impressed glares for her normal dance partner.

"Does he usually gripe this much?"

It was a good thing that the thumping bass was a natural counter to the pink-haired banshee's screeching because the brooding Uchiha showed no interest in answering and Asuma was even less inclined to respond as his eyes wandered from his date and her "doll-friend" grinding up against each other on the dance floor much to the bloody-nosed stupefaction of the army of foreign Genin trying to hold back the crowd allowing for unfettered drooling.

"You should gripe less and pay more attention to your date for the night, Shika. We're still training despite the mission we were given." Asuma released a plume of smoke straight up into the overhead lights of the club.

"This mission is troublesome meaning I can't enjoy dancing with her and monitoring these losers to the degree required." The sour-faced Nara promptly ignored the red flicker in their supporting Genin's eyes, a quick glance over his left shoulder showing a returning Chouji carrying his third snack tray of finger foods.

He did catch the condescending snort from the Uchiha bastard and promptly ignored it.

"The Iwa gaggle are on the far side of the dance floor taking note of our kunoichi. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were sizing them up for capture and extraction."

Shika's eyes swept the dance floor and found Kurotsuchi's disgusted snarl. They'd need a plan for her.

"Any other threats?" Asuma prompted.

"Hnh, Kiri has two swordsmen but one seems too scared to be much of a threat." The comment drew both Shika and Asuma's attention, both surprised that the brooding heir deigned to participate.

Guess he could be a professional when it called for it.

"Think you can handle the perverted one trying to hug on to your fangirl?" Asuma knew the game he was playing with that verbal poke but he needed to keep the walking flight risk engaged. Besides, Kakashi was apparently too interested in his smut to provide any guidance so it left it all to him.

Another annoyed grunt burped up from the Uchiha's abdomen as he rose to stalk out to the dance floor to place himself between a very persistent Suigetsu and an equally annoyed Ino. Once the horndog backed off, courtesy of an angry Sharingan glare, the Uchiha further shocked everyone else by turning around, lifting his hands up waist-high, then shuffling side to side in time with the driving bass.

A very shocked Ino shuffled over to dance at a respectable arm's length from her pout-faced partner only to be joined ten seconds later by an overly ecstatic Sakura Haruno.

With a sigh, Shika rose and sauntered out to make up with his annoyed dance partner much to Asuma's chuckling entertainment.

"Heads up, Hatake. They're here finally."

With a heavy sigh of his own, Kakashi put away his favorite distraction and focused his uncovered eye on the meeting between Kiri's, Iwa's, and Kumo's Kage.

"Easy, Sarutobi. We're only supposed to intervene if trouble breaks out. T and I have the lead for INTEL."

~III~

A slid easily into the chair provided for him in their private room. He expected the entire place was bugged but he didn't care. His conscience was clear for this visit in the belly of his enemy.

Across from him sat the very attractive Mizukage and to his left the less so Tsuchikage.

"Let's get this over with," he groused. "I actually like the music in this place and wish to return to my booth."

Ōnoki huffed once. "You know why we're here so let's cut to the chase. What is your vote?"

Mei's answer was immediate. "Abstain. My village is done with hostilities and, to be honest, I'm more interested in securing an alliance with this new Daimyo. He's a bit young but should grow up into a looker plus I hear he's wealthy enough to rebuild my entire nation by himself. Political marriage maybe?"

Ōnoki scoffed. "I saw how you stared at the new Uzukage."

Her response was both curt and direct. "Stay out of family business that doesn't concern you, Fencesitter."

It also raised eyebrows on both males who glanced up to see if her one-eyed escort would give anything away. They were disappointed by the stone-faced shinobi's immobility.

"And you, A?"

Despite A's surprise at the white-maned gentleman standing behind his peer, he kept his face unreadable. "Kumo is here to enjoy the spectacle and has zero intention to violate, intentionally or otherwise, Konoha's offer of sanctuary."

Ōnoki couldn't believe his ears. These were what was left of the former alliance that once crushed (just barely) the vaunted Uzumaki? He needed something to nudge them to his side.

"You've heard the whispers, haven't you?" His beady eyes flickered from one face to the other.

"We have ears in the same places you do, Tsuchikage-dono." If the female was concerned, she hid it well.

"This could be our only chance, you realize that?"

A responded this time. "Then feel free to act in your best interests, Dono. For me and mine, our goal is to rebuild ties with and correct the mistakes my predecessor took with the Land of Eddies." A rose from the table, Yugito moving to guard his back instinctively.

"Mizukage-dono?" the large asked offering his hand to the stunningly gorgeous kunoichi rumored to have slain her predecessor single-handedly.

Ōnoki's hands balled into angry fists as his last two options for an alliance casually strolled back into the thumping club and away from his petty schemes for revenge.

"You'd better not fail me, Gekido." The older man's chuckle only irritated his ears.

"To my awareness, Tsuchikage-sama, I have never failed you."

~III~

As busy as Saturday and Sunday were for setting up the vendor stalls, Sunday night was equally busy as the entire village turned out to absorb the increase in the tourist influx. Every establishment, from food to entertainment in every variety, was full to bursting with curious customers.

The overwhelmed native populace of Konoha opted to hide away in their homes in preparation for the spectacle to come, a trend easily picked up by two Konoha residents being escorted by a hooded Komodo quartet as they approached the Hokage Administrative Building.

Formalities and brief greetings out of the way, Naruto took his seat as a guest next to the Hokage, the seat directly behind him being occupied by his aunt in lieu of the normal advisor. To her immediate right sat Jiraiya apparently unhappy because her Kage robes completely hid her womanly figure from his greedy eyes. To Jiraiya's right sat the Slug Princess, her eyes (at first shocked to disbelief at the Kushina doppelganger) spending a great amount of time sneaking peeks at the identical sister of one of her greatest friends long departed.

The rest of the room was packed as every available seat, save for the Uzumaki Clan spot, was occupied by either a stone-faced nin or nervous civilian. Along the back walls were the more easily notable suspects seen in briefs of importance.

"Thank you all for coming. Before we begin," he turned to lock eyes with the Uzukage who sighed heavily in return before rising to glide sensually around the head table to the middle of the room.

Instead of running through a dozen handseals, she modeled a healthy dollop of chakra, slammed her palms together, then squatted down to slap both palms on the floor of the chamber. It didn't take long before black tendrils like tentacles of ink spiraled outward, random bursts of shadow exploding before expanding outward to link with other pools of energy until the walls, floors, ceiling, and doors of the windowless chamber were covered. It pulsed once before a half dozen red bursts of energy lit up in seemingly random spots along the walls before wisps of smoke lazily curled their way to the ceiling.

Hiruzen nodded gratefully at the frowning female sauntering back to her seat as if her powerful display of inkless sealing was a daily occurrence, which very well may have been in her world.

Keina, for her mild amusement, spent the rest of the meeting ignoring an imploring Jiraiya's efforts to both get inside her underwear and her brain.

"Now that we are secure, let us begin this final meeting before the exam finals making sure everyone in this room is on the same page. Iruka-kun, if you would please."

The scarred Chunin bowed once before stepping forward.

"Everyone here is reminded that this meeting, and everything witnessed or discussed, is hereby classified secret by Claus Three of the Konoha Shinobi Charter of Regulations, its S-Ranked assignment to remain in effect until rescinded by the current Hokage and releasable only by the same or subsequently designated appointees. Those appointees are to identify themselves at this time."

Ibiki raised one arm followed by a terse, "Hai."

Shikaku followed suit with a lopsided arm and an accompanying, "Troublesome."

Jiraiya followed suit hoping it would impress his redheaded neighbor. It didn't but it did earn him a belittling snort from his blonde neighbor.

"Having settled that, let us move on to the necessary corrections to the plan. If you would turn your attention to-."

"Just a moment, Iruka-kun." Everyone paused to take in the confused appearance of Mebuki Haruno.

"Hai, Councilwoman Haruno?"

"Why are we deviating from our long-established emergency procedures?"

In lieu of a direct answer, Iruka turned to the Hokage.

"We are changing because wise security practices dictate avoiding stagnation. Who is to say that a nukenin of Konoha isn't part of the external threat to this village? Caution dictates that we periodically change things to prevent those with knowledge of our automatic responses from gaining an advantage using standard protocol against us."

Despite appearing to chew on his explanation, Mebuki nodded in understanding returning her attention to the young Chunin giving the brief.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. With that out of the way, let's turn our attention to the first three automatic responses in our contingency plan." He turned to the eternal gate guards as they brought up a modified Veil projection displaying Konoha at large.

"Our first step in the event of a crisis is normally to secure all gate traffic to limit access to the village, thereby establishing siege protocols. With the Chunin Exam Festival in full swing, this would be extremely difficult with the increased number of visitors. To ease this burden and increase our response time, many of you have noticed that three of our major gates are secured vice the normally secured North Gate facing our northern neighbors." Many heads were nodding approvingly at this.

"By funneling all foot traffic through the main gate to the east and all merchant traffic through the south gate, we greatly clarify the threat picture making it easier to identify potential hostile threats to our village. It also makes it easier to compile a list of foreigners inside the walls since they must all sign-in on the same registry. Kani-san."

An ANBU from the Barrier and Internal Defense (BID) Branch with oddly round eyes below a ridged set of feelers stepped forward. "With the tireless help of the Naozumi family, we've been able to repair some one-hundred and fifty damaged seals along the perimeter."

That statement drew immediate gasps of concern from both sides of the Council along with bombardment in the form of questions asking for details. The ANBU waited patiently as the Hokage's gavel silenced the chamber.

"Save all questions until the end of the brief." A gentle caress by his KI produced the muted nods of acquiesence needed to ensure compliance. "Please continue."

With a bow, the crab-faced agent moved on. "As I was saying, we could not have affected such extensive repair work without the assistance of the Naozumi Family. Based on their feedback, the vast majority of these seals were intentionally tampered with but not destroyed leading to reduced detection in key areas around and near the Red Light District and the outlying farms in the southern and southwestern sections of the wall. As of our final sweep earlier this afternoon, Konoha's barrier wall remains intact and we will continue to monitor its status throughout the week, a task made infinitely easier by their gift of an alarm matrix in Barrier Division HQ displaying visually the barrier seal in its entirety. With the added anti-tampering arrays buried under the barrier seals, we'll receive real-time indication at HQ should anyone else attempt to undermine our defenses." The ANBU wrapped up with a bow and stepped back against the wall.

"Thank you, Kani-san. We'll move on to step two, which is the securing of non-combatants and medical personnel. Tsunade-sama, if you would please."

She almost faltered as the blond Daimyo next to her sensei turned to lock eyes with her. Almost.

"Triage wings have been pushed outwards from our two outpatient clinics to the three Konoha P.D. substations located there, there, and there." The Veil genjutsu flashed in the north, east and southern sections of the Konoha map. "My apprentice Shizune Kato and I have spent the last four months whipping our med-nin into some semblance of shape meaning that the two med squads supporting each station should be prepared to provide triage before being recalled to collapse back to the hospital as required. With their assigned Heavy Combat squad, they should be able to perform their duties with minimal interference."

Her eyes swept the room before landing once more on the deep blues eyes of her godson in his Uzu robes.

"I will be manning the hospital with Shizune." She settled down into her seat raising a palm to stave off Jiraiya's near-immediate pleas to reconsider.

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Iruka turned on to lock eyes with Shikaku Nara. "This next section may take a moment to discuss. Would our Oyabun please explain the section of the contingency plan addressing changes in emergency bunkering for our non-combatants?"

Despite being phrased as a question, everyone in the chamber took it as anything but as the Nara Clan Head rose to his feet and began highlighting the newest bunker locations in each of the major wards of the hidden village.

It was going to be a long night for the very confused civilian council members and a surprisingly entertained Uzu Daimyo. It only continued once the civilians were released and the official mission brief for the invasion took over. At least there he had a part to discuss, his requirement to deal with the Ichibi should things get out of hand waved off with an almost lethargic shrug much to the shocked reaction of the other shinobi clan heads.

The matter of dealing with Orochimaru was a much more contentious issue, Jiraiya's annoyance at the Komodo Squad's absence from the containment plan one of his larger problem areas. With Jiraiya being tasked with any potential snake summonses, back up for the Hokage would be limited to one maybe two of his stronger ANBU, something Jiraiya believed to be woefully inadequate.

It was a problem left unresolved to the Gama Sennin's disgruntlement.

~III~

"We could assign a few of the stronger Halfkin to aide the old man," Soyo-chan offered during their journey home later that night breaking the somber tone of their walk in the late evening. The surprised looks on the faces of both royals drew out further explanation.

"They wouldn't have _Fangs_ , but they'd have their personal weapons. Any of our Guardians in the training program would be strong A-ranked or low S-ranked threats capable of protection duties. They don't gain the subtler aspects of shinobi training until they become alternates for the ranked Guardian of their sects."

Naruto nodded his thanks at the offer as they turned into his new compound. "Thank you. I'll be sure to let him know at tomorrow's- _what the heck_ is going on here?"

 _Umi_ had come to a complete halt, his weapon held lengthwise across his body drawing Naruto's full attention to the kneeling gaggle of women surrounded by most of his clones left to patrol the compound.

Naruto's surprised laughter shocked everyone, his Guardians looking at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Bring them inside Ishi," he gasped out between dying chuckles. "I want to be formally introduced to the squad of women assigned the unfortunate task of kidnapping me several months ago."

If that didn't make every one of his guards tense up, then nothing would.

Inside his Guardians were clearly uncomfortable with their Walker seated so casually before four women, Konoha kunoichi admittedly trained to ANBU levels by their own admission, formerly of Konoha's _Root_ organization under one Danzō Shimura, and operating under their last known directive which was to kidnap and facilitate the brainwashing of said Walker into Danzō's mindless weapon.

It didn't matter that the already scantily clad women had been immediately stripped of their concealing cloaks to reveal four almost indecently-dressed clones of Yūgao Uzuki, Ino Yamanaka, Kurenai Yuhi, and a furiously blushing Akimi - as in, the real Akimi from his childhood.

Naruto's female Guardians had been very thorough in their search of their four suspects as evident by the bloody wad of tissues held up to Naruto's face as each woman slowly replaced her displaced clothing to cover their brief bout of nakedness. How the male Guardians could compartmentalize what was going on and appear unaffected was beyond Naruto but he'd need to learn that skill someday soon.

Then his eyes settled on the still downward-facing Akimi. _'She hid more than I thought under that Ichiraku apron. Must use the same wraps Ayame-nee buys.'_

"You were one of Danzō's all along?" His voice was surprisingly calm with just a hint of edge to it.

She didn't answer right away until an angry Nisshoku-chan nudged her in the ribs.

"H-Hai." Her hands were doing their best not to fidget like she used to do when she got nervous. With an amused snort, he realized at least that much was real.

"I would have followed you anywhere," he began shrugging off her nervous flinch at his words. "Why the whole mess with Aono? Were you ever really in any danger?" An unbelievable pressure came down upon all four women, one powerful enough to make everyone else in the room flinch at its strength. "Were you ever truly my friend?"

His voice was soft. Deadly. Threatening.

His omission of the boy's first name showed just how much he despised Koaru Aono and the horror their escapade put him through. Akimi, much to her horror and shame, knew what that tone meant in his voice as she heard it every time he expressed his displeasure at Koaru's presence in her life.

"Danzō-sa... Danzō wanted to isolate you from Konoha and felt that removing your ties as traumatically as possible the most efficient way to do so." She fell to the floor promptly prostrating herself in apology. "I'm so sorry." The last part was a faint whisper as she choked out, "I once served him, but I've always been your friend."

Though his eyes never left her mane of auburn hair, he noticed her three companions flinch bodily.

"How is it that I didn't recognize you the very first time you tried to subdue me?" His eyes were narrowing dangerously and the three still standing immediately lowered to their knees seeing their once chance at sanctuary slipping away before their eyes.

Detailed answers were needed and the clone of Kurenai spoke up hoping to stave off their arrest and transfer to Konoha's tender mercies, inside her mind thanking whatever deity removed their seals with Danzō's death.

"We died her hair and applied minor stage makeup hoping that the confusion of the summons and her near-naked body would distract you enough that she'd be unrecognizable to you until we could subdue you with a hidden mind-control seal in that faked ceremony. Danzō-sa... _Danzō_ intimated that the reverse summoning would disorient you for a few moments giving us the upper hand but you recovered much faster than a normal shinobi would have. It worked to our advantage because you did not appear to recognize her lying beneath you."

No mysticism, just obfuscation, and shoddy seal work, Naruto noted. So much for mystery.

Akimi rose from her prostrate position to sit upright but her eyes never left the floor.

"Tell me why I should not turn you over to Konoha this very minute?"

This time all four of them flinched but the brunette continued on and no one could fault her bravery in that moment.

"We will go if you so order it without complaint, Naruto-sama." She tried not to get her hopes up when his eyebrow peaked just a bit. "But we know that our future would be either imprisonment or death, as many of our _Root_ brothers and sisters ended up that way in Konoha's purge."

This did catch his attention.

"However," and here she nervously licked very dry lips, "our modified _Root_ training does not affect us emotionally making us excellent undercover agents and we'd much rather offer those services to you." She bowed again and the others followed suit. "We've had time to observe you a bit during all of this and you possess the heart and mind of a leader we could follow without shame."

"Even if I plan to serve my Clan and former Country someday? I thought you _Root_ were all about 'Konoha first and always' meaning anything that took away from that was bad? How can I trust you in service to my clan now that I know what you are?"

It was a very legitimate question to ask.

"Despite Danzō's questionable reputation, he valued Konoha above all else. We were trained to value our leader above all else and, with his death, we are free to transfer our loyalties to our next Commander. Given that our choices are either a painful death, after a lengthy period of torture and interrogation at Ibiki's hands, or a life of forced prostitution on behalf of Konoha's Intelligence Division, we'd rather devote our loyalties to someone that would value us as Kunoichi, as people first. Perhaps that someone could use our loyalty and talents to further his goals?"

His eyes didn't soften prompting Akimi to jump in.

"We would swear whatever oath you'd require of us, serve any penance you demand of us to prove our loyalty."

That did earn them a reaction.

"You know how I feel about forced servitude and seals, Akimi."

She nodded as she did. He'd complained often growing up how his first act as Hokage would be to provide a better life for the women of the Cherry Blossom, about how he'd do away with seduction missions for kunoichi. She was fairly confident he'd never require something like that even if he accepted their offer.

The problem was that his defenders were also aware of his gentle nature.

"There is a loyalty seal that would make it impossible for them to harm you directly without forcing service or mindless servitude on their part." Keina's voice snapped every head to her.

"No mindless drones, Kaa-san."

Akimi's eyebrow quirked at that as her eyes darted quickly between the two speakers. _'Did his mother come back?!'_

"Oh, nothing of the sort, Sochi. It's just a modified version of the same seal your Guardians possess. It would tie them to you in a similar fashion allowing you two distinct advantages." She stepped forward and lifted a finger into the air.

"First off, it ties their lives to yours just like it does your Guardians. If you die, they die with you." She enjoyed the hard swallows from each woman kneeling before her Sochi as she lifted a second finger to match the first.

"Second, it comes with a ranged kill switch." Her eyes grew very hard. "If they betray you, you can eliminate them with a single-handed seal and a word."

She lowered her hands to glare at each one individually. "Removal of the seal is solely contingent upon their good behavior, which remains their free choice, of course."

Naruto seemed to consider the idea as he stared each woman in the eyes noting peripherally that the eyes of Uzuki-chan's clone didn't quite match the original hers being several shades lighter in color. "Are you agreeable to this stipulation? There's no turning back if you do."

Each of them bowed low issuing a terse, "Hai" in response.

"Is there anything we can do about their appearances? Those three are surprisingly identical to three women I have various levels of acquaintance with. While two very beautiful blondes in my life aren't a hardship, I doubt Ino would approve."

He caught the furious blush of the Ino-copy despite the obvious difference in his Ino's extremely curvy body and this one's more subdued but equally appealing figure. He had to admit, the Yūgao doppelganger's figure was on par with Anko's and he very much approved.

He was still an extremely horny teenager and waking up with anywhere from three to four half-naked women every day was beginning to wear on him. He could look and appreciate just like anyone else.

"We'll have to keep them masked similar to the Squad," Keina interjected. "They haven't earned the gear but we can design something similar. At a minimum, they won't be wearing this," she casually flipped the scarf-like garments worn by the purplette kneeling next to her causing the right side of her heavy chest to bounce enticingly, "unless they're on sleep detail."

That was Keina's code for sleeping next to Naruto in whatever chamber he occupied to keep assassins away and he blushed along with every female already in his Guardian detail. Haku's angry growl wasn't missed by the four infiltration specialists which let each of them know that "Sleep Detail" most likely meant something intimate with the young Uzumaki royal, and that made them blush in turn.

Keina laughed evilly seeing a way to bring back her clan in a single generation, but she kept that bit to herself.

"Hnh, I wonder how much of my life has been managed by that accursed Shimura bastard. Can't say I'm sorry to hear that he's dead."

Amongst the agreeably nodding heads of his family, four very pretty and scantily clad women were blinking innocently at each other wondering if a better opportunity for them to ingratiate their way into his world would present itself. With an encouraging nod from their self-appointed squad leader, the very pretty and extremely curvy purplette gently cleared her throat drawing everyone's gaze to her.

"So, Naruto-sama would this be a bad time to tell you about Danzō's attempt to kidnap Akimi-chan and murder your beloved teacher, Iruka Umino-san using Ebisu and his Demon Brigade organization?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Ano, also the fact that we were required to set him up at a safe location until he could be recalled following the invasion."

Naruto's already narrowed eyes drew down tighter, the deep blue becoming a scorching red as his growl rumbled the sternum of the Yūgaolook alike. He, of course, did not know that, as their S&M infiltration specialist, she'd be physically stimulated by his animalistic response, her milk chocolate orbs dilating with desire.

He was also unaware that her previous statement would eradicate any other reservations he might have had with swearing them into his service.

"How soon can they be sealed, Kaa-san?"

In the enclosed space of the very cozy living room, he and every Guardian with heightened senses could clearly smell it and somewhere deep inside his seal the Kyuubi's laughter echoed off the chamber walls of her den at the ongoing drama that was her container's life.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** Didn't quite make it to the finals, unfortunately. I promise you though, there will be blood when next we meet!

 _~Siva'a_


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N:** I believe I've answered why Ino still has screen time in this fanfic. There was some real hostility there for a bit (not nearly as much as Ebisu but enough). The loyalty to our hero is admirable but I've never intentionally set him up as a pushover. A true shinobi doesn't get angry, they just get even.

I've decided to break up this final stretch of the Chunin Exam Festival into multiple chapters to make it easier to digest (I was coming up on 40K and needed to break it up into smaller bits). By the by, I should probably address some comments and questions from some of my more regular reviewers (thanks for being my constant sounding board as it helps the tippy-typing more than you know).

 **Dancingrage:** From you, I will consider that the highest praise. I know the storyline has annoyed you for some time now. (I told you he had stuff going on behind the curtain).

 **PraetorXyn:** Senseless violence without a story to guide it is a waste of good ink. I shall endeavor to entertain the mob.

 **TigrezzTail:** There is a bit of a story behind Naruto's history with Kumo and it's going to come to a head here very soon.

 **fanficreader71, 777torn777, biginferno, and Thor94:** Time to bring all the conflict to a boiling point. I present for your amusement, the Chunin Exam Festival in all its gaudiness.

 **joshua_dot_canning88:** Thank you for the kind words and welcome to my small corner of the fanfiction interwebs. You would be shocked, based on your thoughts, how many people out there think I'm the worst thing to happen to fanfiction.

Remember - he's the Prankster King from Hell and that makes him really good at being sneaky and underhanded.

Poor Ebisu, on the other hand, has been really good at proving that you don't need to be uber powered to be hated. He gets more hate mail than the IRS. You know you have crafted a good villain when people actively canvas for their horribly painful death.

That reminds me... I wonder if Plums is even reading this story still?

Anyway, not sure what got into me this week but here's the latest chapter for your entertainment. Not being allowed to go to work every day has been really good for cleaning up previous chapters and pushing out new content.

Enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Chapter 42: There Will Be Blood**

~III~

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _"How soon can they be sealed, Kaa-san?"_

 _Keina singled out the three male Halfkin ordering them to take up sentry positions outside leaving Naruto as the only male in the home. While Guardians maintained higher levels of self-control, the Umihebi were territorial by nature and Halfkin inherited those traits - some stronger than others - and she didn't want to push the issue any more than she already was with the females angrily staring down the mostly naked women kneeling on the floor. Even with Kira-chan's recent addition to the Guardian pool, her fiery nature very quickly revealed an overprotective tendency towards "her Walker" and her soft growls from the left side of his chair were clearly voicing her disproving inclination towards the unwanted competition._

 _Soyo-chan's narrowed eyebrows and aggressive posture from his right, the position she occupied when Keina herself wasn't there, mirrored her sister Guardian's sentiment._

 _Keina didn't want to risk one of the males imprinting on a female prisoner she was planning to mark for their Walker. It presented too many opportunities for betrayal and misery. Just, no._

 _There was a subtle sigh when the three males left without hesitation._

 _Oddly enough, Karin opted to stay and observe rather than follow the energetic Raiton Halfkin she'd been building a friendly relationship with, a budding romance Keina had to preempt with the large male knowing her plans for a true Uzumaki grandbaby and the young woman's role as Titus' future partner. Despite him being sealed to her Sochi, they would need to be careful and the larger male agreed to delay any sort of attachment until the first true Uzu heir could be created. Karin would hate it, of course, even after having given consent to the restoration plan but the clan came first._

 _She'd just have to make sure it was only one child since there wouldn't be another once the two sunk their mutual claws into each other. The Halfkin's protective nature towards a potential mate, whether he was sterile or not, would not allow it._

 _Such a waste._

 _Keina shook it off knowing that this was going to be an ongoing issue as she worked to rebuild her clan through her adopted son. Any other mother would be repulsed by her plans but she didn't care. The elemental nations had destroyed her family and, gods-be-damned, she hadn't just "gotten over it." Come hell or high water, the Uzumaki people weren't going to die out because old men feared what they couldn't understand. If it meant her Sochi was going to be hip-deep in guts for the next ten years, even if she had to pitch in and lend a uterus, then so be it._

 _Hopefully, it would never come to that._

 _Now she just needed to convince him that it was a necessary evil for the good of the clan..._

 _"Nisshoku-chan, Haku-chan, help me prepare them." Keina's gaze swept over to the two guarding her Sochi. "You two are to keep him safe. We'll handle this."_

 _She didn't need to wait for their acknowledgment to know they were ready. Keina almost lamented the fact that the three female Halfkin couldn't give her grandbabies; all physical indications showed all three would gladly impale themselves on that sword taking one, or several, for the team as it were. It was almost unfair that their feelings were partially skewed... because... of..._

 _Her mind snapped to the nervous faces of the four wenches Danzō sent to kidnap her beloved Sochi and she knew exactly how she was going to ensure their loyalty, her mind making the mental changes to the Uzumaki Seal of Loyalty needed to mirror the attitude tinting derivatives of a Guardian's binding._

 _It would skirt both the very edge of emotional biochemical manipulation and social morality, something Naruto would decry and condemn if he knew about it, but she had little choice with him being the last heir, the last Walker, and the last sane Uzumaki male. His blood was needed to activate the loyalty seal meaning they would not be able to directly or indirectly cause him harm; the seal itself would lock up their motor and chakra functions during any such attempt thereby making them safe enough to lie next to him. This was a normal function of the seal and acceptable when dealing with conquests and war prizes. It was her additions that skirted legality._

 _Her modifications would stimulate their body's normal production of dopamine but those would need delicate neurochemical release arrays triggered only by recognition ciphers keyed to Naruto. Since she wouldn't have time to generate encoding balanced to each female's physiology, she'd need to default to tiny doses; dopamine was called the "feel-good drug" for a reason and too many cases were tied to incidents of crippling addiction for a reason. She'd also need to simulate those triggers on his proximity, a tough but not impossible task for Uzu's last Fūin grandmaster._

 _Seals didn't have eyes. They could be trigger by proximity, something Uzushio did all the time with barrier arrays so she wasn't overly concerned by chakra detection seals, and possibly a blood recognition algorithm or two. The trick was establishing the proximal bridge to mirror visual detection so that the girls subconsciously associated their spike of "feel-good hormones" with his immediate presence._

 _They would need to be directional and range-limited. Yes, no more than ten meters with a weak sensor cipher so that other chakra sources or obstructions didn't falsely trigger a chemical release._

 _While these women being addicted to her son would be good for their loyalty, crippling addiction can and often did lead to disharmony, jealousy, aggression, and betrayal, things that could unravel everything she was trying to carefully build for their clan. For her Sochi._

 _So, minute doses would be needed with no more than three or four triggered pulses per day. While women normally thought about sex less than men, and considerably less than the average horndog teenager, it did cross a healthy woman's mind - on average - several dozen times a day. For active kunoichi (barring Anko-chan), that number could double or triple so she didn't need many biochemical prompts to nudge them towards her Sochi. She just needed a few extras focused specifically on him._

 _Evil? Maybe. Sneaky? Hello! Ninja here!_

 _She'd need to modify a sensor seal tied to their natural dopamine and serotonin production moderating, or even temporarily nullifying completely, the seal's chemical production if their bodies began to generate dopamine on its own. She was more concerned with keeping their serotonin output in that "desired mellow range" since too little led to obsessive behavior and too much could blunt sexual attraction. She would have to take great care not to overly constrict their serotonin pathways through and around the dopamine carriers in the frontal cortex..._

 _She was beginning to understand what Mito-baa-chan was talking about when she said that a true seals master was a jack of many trades before they mastered their one true calling. She lamented never getting the chance to study under the woman but was thankful now for the forced medical training she had to take under her brother Saito before anyone would let her anywhere near medical seals._

 _Serotonin production would be the tricky part since the vast majority of it wasn't manufactured in the brain but in the gut. Specifically, the majority of it was found in enterochromaffin cells in the tissue surrounding the gastrointestinal tract while some traveled through the brain stem, the latter area becoming the target of her modified seals. Civilians produced manageable amounts ranging from one to three-hundred nanograms per milliliter. A healthy shinobi could make up to ten times that amount supporting their much higher-developed bodies but she didn't have time to accurately monitor their normal state._

 _She growled softly making the now prone redhead flinch thinking she was the source of frustration. With a calming palm to the girl's shoulder, Keina generated a diagnostic glow in her other hand and placed it on the girl's stomach so she could establish a baseline. She'd need to do it for each female and slowly adjust the cipher coding over time. It wouldn't be to far from the truth if she hid her motives behind wanting to make sure their new seals were functioning properly requiring periodic checkups over a month or two since these were "technically" prototypical matrices. She could adjust the seals while observing their reactions all the while making minor adjustments to the support lattice, which made it seem less like the risky scientific experimentation it actually was._

 _Keina shook her mind free with a gentle shake of her crimson mane trying to prevent overthinking what she needed to do. Too much reflection and she might back out. In the end, her Sochi's safety came first and what she needed was simple, in her mind._

 _She needed them just horny enough to not be distracted from their normal duties but inclined enough to jump him if the opportunity, and permission, were presented._

 _A brief warning about possible depression flickered in the back of her mind but she brushed it away. Could she balance the depression with triggered endorphin or oxytocin releases? She mentally shrugged it off as well knowing she could modify the seal after her Sochi added his blood to the loyalty matrix she was mentally cobbling together on-the-fly; she just needed a stable core array tied to his blood and chakra and the rest could be added with new injection bridges without affecting the tether._

 _Rolling up her sleeves with clear conviction, she began directing her two helpers in the re-removal of the barely covering garments protecting the modesty of each woman's upper body as she unsealed her most prized Fuuin tools. Even as the first algorithmic symbols started flowing onto their pale chests centered around the small spiral right above their hearts, Keina knew these women would eventually become his second strongest supporters alongside the three female Halfkins trying to resist the urge to "mark their territory."_

 _Now if she could just keep the purple-headed one from moaning like a streetwalker every time something mildly uncomfortable happened to her._

 _~III~_

* * *

 _"Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men."_

 _– Miyamoto Musashi._

 _~III~_

* * *

Naruto was awake and had been awake for some time before the sun's first rays crept into the heavily curtained edges of his bedroom. Physically, he was fine. He might say that he was content even and, for someone not used to physical contact, it didn't require much to get used to being pressed in on all sides by the warm flesh of the fairer gender.

Glancing about to the three Guardians valiantly protecting his sleeping body with their mostly-naked flesh, he honestly couldn't imagine sleeping alone anymore. Haku rose an hour ago gently kissing his lips before sneaking out to begin breakfast vacating her cherished spot directly atop him thereby allowing a half-conscious Soyo-chan to crawl across the bed on her hands and knees to assume her predecessor's freshly abandoned place of honor. As it was, he was having a hard enough time trying to keep control of his raging erection after Soyo-chan spent way more time than was strictly necessary "getting comfortable" as she stretched out on top of his prone form.

No one needs to grind her hips _that much_ just to get settled.

Perhaps it was for the best that he'd be giving up missions to become Uzu's Daimyo? With how soft they were trying to make him, Naruto knew he'd be a mess out in the field. The addition of the former Root agents he'd dubbed the _Siren Squad_ would be a boon for their burgeoning economy as they could take missions to help rebuild first the clan and then the nation.

He'd need to pick up his personal training though; the Akatsuki would eventually come for him and he couldn't depend on other people to fight for him. That was just foolishness waiting to happen.

As his eyebrows knotted in annoyance at Pein's little wine club hidden underneath Ame's capital, Soyo-chan's hips rolled forward distracting him just enough to miss the mild sense of warmth at the base of his _Falna_ blessing.

He was too busy trying to conceal both his moan and the pleasant shudder wracking his entire body to notice associating the pleasant warmth of one with another type of rush.

Once she settled (again) he tried to distract his hormones from the overwhelming desire to merge with the almost albino beauty sprawled across his front in just a pair of panties... or the midnight purplette pressing her moderate chest against his left bicep... or the fiery redhead smashing her slightly larger chest against his right arm.

Naruto shook his head and started recycling old sealing and medical texts to shift focus hoping that the throbbing between his legs would go away.

Brow knitting up in concern as his mind replayed last night's sealing, his eyes recognized several medically-skewed arrays even though his new mother tried to downplay their use. They weren't mind-control _juinjutsu_ that he could tell and that allayed his concerns a bit. They were medical seals, however, and the characters targeting the frontal, temporal, and occipital lobes were concerning even if the low-level triggers, nanograms really, weren't health or sanity threatening. Such small doses would still be behavioral-affecting and that nagged at the back of his brain.

Their physical reaction, once he bit his thumb and swiped the digit along the seal center resting on their left breasts, was enough to make him feel uncomfortable. Once his blood flowed into the seal center temporarily coloring the array red, the catalyst caused their eyes to dilate, their pulses to quicken, their backs to arch, and their bodies to flush with heat (and in some cases perspire) as their eyes locked with his own. Ōzuoku-chan, the purplette, never broke her gaze on him even before she received the new seal, her behavior only growing more alarming and her reaction more severe once his blood was added to her loyalty array.

He hadn't intimately been with a woman yet during this slide, but he was no stranger to the fairer sex meaning he knew the signs of a woman having an honest-to-Kami orgasm. His blood hitting her seal was supposed to be discomforting at the least, not orgasm-inspiring as Ku-chan's convulsing abdomen and spasming limbs indicated.

Keina, per her obvious confusion, couldn't explain it leaving them at a loss until Akimi, a panting mess now recovered from her own sealing and eyeing Naruto like a bear to wrestle to the ground, explained that the purplette was a _masochist_.

Both Uzumaki "oohed" in understanding.

They were even more shocked to hear that she was chosen specifically because of her sexual proclivities and proficiency with medical jutsu, both skills and fetishes that more accurately matched the real Yūgao Uzuki. Everything else they knew about the loyal ANBU agent, like Ōzuoku's skill with the blade (although not a natural affinity for the doppelganger) and talent as a sensor, were earned through harsh training.

Her uncanny similarity in appearance came through unlicensed use of the [ _Shadow Mirror Body Changing Method_ ], a technique passed on from their agents in Oni no Kuni, and liberal surgeries to promote and enhance improvements on the arguably willing kunoichi. Apparently, Akimi was the only female not subjected to the non-reversible technique given that Danzō did not have access to a clear enough example of Naruto's mother so her naturally brown hair was altered medically into a healthy auburn color to help tint his perception of her favorably in the orphanage.

The old bastard was ruthlessly thorough if nothing else.

Danzō did not make fans through his legacy of duplicity and corruption even at the expense of children. It truly was a shame that he was already dead as the Komodo Squad wanted to dig him up just kill him all over again (it was a good thing Konoha cremated him).

According to the purplette, she was allowed to keep her sultry voice (as it was found more alluring than her role model's), her natural eye color, and her curvier figure.

It was a mess with no clear path of escape, and he was saddled with reintegrating them into his clan without causing more damage than was already done to the poor women. He was having a hell of a time as a result trying not to mess up his own life without-.

A fresh rush of cortisol and adrenaline, the body's "Fight or Flight" drugs, nearly made him bolt out from under his Guardian blanket, her thighs clenching as his hips bucked in fear. _'Dear Kami! How am I going to explain all this to Ino?!'_

~III~

Ino's eyes popped open at that moment, her mind searching about for the cause of her sudden urge to pummel the true love of her life. Perhaps the Uchiha would give her a reason today to vent her sudden rash of frustration?

~III~

At that exact moment, Sasuke Uchiha paused in his pre-morning-workout workout to spin about with his chokuto gripped firmly in both hands. He could not explain the sudden shiver of fear running down his spine or the equally sudden desire to avoid all personal female contact for the rest of the day.

~III~

* * *

 **~ In Konoha's Bustling Market District ~**

"But I _don't_ understand, Tou-san!"

Ayame's voice was pained and, although it hurt him inside, Teuchi didn't want to turn her against her mother's clan. His hatred may run deep versus the treacherous island of women but that didn't mean he'd poison her kind heart as his had been. Once again, he chided himself for letting his precious daughter see this side of his personality in a moment of weakened anger.

Shrugging off her pleas for an explanation, he set the last of his supplies into place, the first three pots of broth resting comfortably atop the portable heating elements. As his eyes critically evaluated his inventory for the day, one hand gently patted his old scroll pouch strapped to his right thigh holding his sealed resupply. With any luck, they'd sell out early and go home to a boring meal of steamed vegetables with lean fish and chicken.

 _'Never get high off your own supply,'_ he chuckled silently. Too bad his good mood couldn't last.

"You haven't told her."

 _'Damnit!'_ Teuchi turned to look over his left shoulder to the young Nadeshiko woman and her towering attendant and his face immediately soured. Massive breasts or not, each man had their limits and "Boob-gantaun" was quickly reaching his with her angry attitude. Still, shrink her down half a meter and she could almost pass for...

He shook his mind free with a grimace both Nadeshikan women mistook for his answer. It didn't matter since what she asked wasn't really in the form of a question. Besides, Ayame's confusion over his dislike for the inhabitants of that island nation was written all over her pretty face and, if he had his way, it would stay there.

"Why haven't you?" Shizuka continued.

"My pain is mine to bear. I won't prevent her from being with her mother's people if that's what she wants."

Ayame blinked in shock and confusion. More interesting was the fact that she wasn't alone in her confusion by the surprised looks on the faces of their visitors.

"She has a right to know what happened," the heiress countered.

"She does and I'm sure your fellow harpies have her mother's history documented in some archival dungeon. She needn't hear it tainted by my dislike of it all." And with that, Teuchi turned to begin preparing his implements for the day.

Ayame, in all her frustration, could only turn to the two females standing before their temporary stand, the sound of knives being sharpened taking on an ominous air.

Again, it was Tokiwa that took pity on her.

"Your father was... _is_... one of the best field support shinobi I've ever met." Teuchi's snort of derision in the background earned a brief chuckle from the female giant. "It was during the Third War when Nadeshiko came to the defense of Konoha that he met your mother, Chizue."

Teuchi's clanking of metal grew very still in the background.

"The Nadeshiko are harsh in their strict manner of living and outsiders can view it as unnecessarily brutal." Here the larger woman turned a soft gaze on her protégé. "Chizue didn't care… but my best friend was fearless like that. She fell hard for the handsome field chef providing for the men and women of the war and the two fell in love.

"It would be many months before their secret love would be discovered and by then it would be too late as Chizue would be with child. While necessarily cruel," she pointedly ignored Teuchi's angrier snort in the background, "Nadeshiko would never stoop to punishing a child for the crimes of their parents, unlike other villages."

Both Ichiraku's winced.

"The conflict came to an end, we returned to our island nation, and Chizue gave birth to a beautiful Nadeshiko girl." Tokiwa's large hand gently stroked Ayame's cheek. "Your father was allowed to return for the birth. He was allowed to stay with his family for the week it took for Chizue to name you and regain her strength." She paused here as her large hand fell away from the smaller woman to rest atop her rather enormous bosom where her heart would be.

"Then he was forced to watch as she ceremonially took her life for violation of Nadeshiko's governing laws on procreation."

By now Ayame's tears were silently free-flowing as Tokiwa wrapped up her unusually gentle storytelling.

"Your father has every reason to hate us as our laws, not enemy action, took your mother away. The fact that he chooses not to corrupt you with his justifiable anger at all that Nadeshiko is and represents is proof that he is a good man, Ayame-chan."

Ayame stood there without comment as the two women hugged her briefly before walking away, her world beginning to slowly crumble all around her as they left. She was finding it hard to breathe or think knowing that these same women wanted to take her... take Naruto-kun away from the village. When her father's hand gripped her shoulder, she spun into his body, her arms clamping around his strong waist as she poured her broken heart into his chest with the rest of her streaming tears.

~III~

"Tou-san! I'm off to team training!" Tenten adjusted the position of her training pack - holding her weapon scrolls - as she yelled back into the not-yet-open _Higurashi's_ , the weapons shop of her adoptive father, Raimei. A gruff, "Hai" was all she needed to know that he'd heard back by the forge.

Before she could step down off the stoop and close the door, her progress came to an abrupt halt as a pair of gloved hands shot out holding a royal blue envelope with an embossed wax seal of gold. Her name was written in beautiful calligraphy on the front.

"What the hell is this?" she spat out in confusion, her eyes taking in the familiar zanbatō draped across the back and shoulders of the second masked female standing behind the bowing one standing before her.

She knew right away who the one carrying the sword worked for and her lips started to break out into a warm smile.

~o00o~

"Our beloved master, the Daimyo of Uzu no Kuni, asks your indulgence and the pleasure of your company in accepting his humble invitation to share a meal at his meager Konoha estate tomorrow evening at six in the afternoon. Dress is formal for the event."

Ino, with both her parents blinking sheepishly - one each over a shoulder, was staring at the unopened invitation in shock, the parents more in the hope that this would win her attention from that worthless brat of a pampered boy child Inoichi knew lived in a lavish apartment in Konoha's upscale Mori Apartments.

"What if I don't wish to share 'the pleasure of my company' with your _master_?" Ino groused, much to her parent's embarrassment, her eyes taking in the clearly curvy females dressed in similar attire.

Despite the heavily armed one wearing something out of a barbarian horde movie, the one speaking from a bowing posture was wearing a rather newish black and white cloth of a similar style and cut, the white Qipao-style of the top flowing down and along her left thigh partially covering the loose-flowing trousers of sturdy black cloth snugly secured to her shins by strapped sandals reaching just below her knees. The white blouse had wide sleeveless openings large enough to allow the full-length sleeves of the black shirt beneath it to flow freely, the forearms tucked in nicely through soft leather bracers leading into fingerless gloves bearing the Uzu swirl on the backs of her clasped hands now resting between her knees.

None of it was billowy enough to hide the full curves of her body underneath but the auburn color of her wavy hair flowing from underneath her white cowl seemed... _familiar_? It was unfortunate that her black half-mask hid most of her oval-shaped face.

~o00o~

"Our master would regret the loss of your company but wishes to convey that attending is always a matter of choice. Your decision will always be respected."

"You're damned right it will!"

Akimi tried not to flinch at the open hostility in the purple-haired woman's voice, her demeanor so unlike Ōzuoku-chan. She understood Naruto-sama's familial affection for the woman. After all, she'd been a part of his life almost as long as Akimi had been but still...

Just as the annoyed Snake Summoner was eyeing her over, Akimi had been subtly doing the same from her bowed position just to the side of the kunoichi's favorite table at the Dango Stop. While less than feminine in demeanor, the slouching kunoichi packed a powerful punch that would help the growing clan. Additionally, she carried an overly developed feminine figure that seemed to fit a pattern for her new lord even if this one did as little as possible to cover it.

 _Did they look so slutty in their acolyte outfits?_ She couldn't prevent the raging blush that claimed her masked cheeks nor the flush of warmth flooding her core, suddenly very happy for the cover her garments provided. Their fairly light strips of cloth bared more skin than Anko-san revealed to the entire village but only Naruto-sama was allowed to see them so-.

"Can I bring my girls to this shindig?" The brash woman's question cut off her increasingly decadent line of thinking, her eyes flicking briefly to the three other women sharing her booth. Just like every other patron already gawking in the extended open-air cafe, Kurenai Yuhi, Hana Inuzuka, and an oddly familiar Yūgao Uzuki were all anxiously awaiting her response in hopes that they'd be allowed to join in the night's festivities.

"Our apologies but this is by invitation only. The invitation has additional information intended for your eyes only to go along with the very private matter he wishes to discuss with you in the privacy of his home."

Anko scoffed. Loudly.

"I'll bet he does." Though cool on the outside, Anko's heart was fluttering wildly in her nearly-exposed chest. She was getting another chance and, friends coming with or not, she had no intention of blowing it.

Her eyes took in the exquisitely scented envelope resting near her all-but-forgotten plate of dango…

~o00o~

"M'Lady will not be attending some event without proper-!"

Shizuka's raised palm cut her off gently knowing where her attendant's argument was headed. "It's okay, Tokiwa. After all, we know who the Uzu Daimyo is, don't we?" Despite her Lady's calm, almost purring tone, the larger woman was still uncomfortable with the idea.

"I'm sure the Lord will adequately provide for my safety for the night's entirety."

The auburn-haired woman's bow dipped once again. "Without question, Lady Shizuka."

"Please inform your master that I will happily attend and look forward to the pleasure of his company." Her emerald eyes glittered like the gems of their namesake as they glided over the rich blue card edged in a crimson border and inked in liquid gold script, the kanji immaculate in form and elegance.

* * *

 _Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, Godaime Daimyo of Uzu no Kuni_

 _Royal Heir to the House of Uzumaki and the House of Senju_

 _Heir to the Namikaze Clan_

 _Invites you to to an evening of wine and leisure in his humble residence._

 _\- Uzumaki Estates, Konohagakure no Sato_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Formal Dining Hall and Dance Floor, The Grand Oak ~**

~III~

The chatter surrounding the invitations didn't die off after the hooded delivery girls departed Anko's favorite hangout, much to the dismay of her best girls. Any hints of what lay inside Anko kept oddly to herself as did three other kunoichis of note wandering about the hidden village. Anko, against every nerve and instinct in her tingling body demanding that she tear open the expensive feeling (and spicy-smelling) envelope, held out until she was holed up in her apartment after a steaming shower, holding a fresh batch of her best tea, and snuggled up in her most comfy pair of sweatpants.

Her happy squeal would later summon Gai from across town to her unwilling rescue.

Once law and order were properly restored (and Anko's door was replaced with a reinforced metal one), everyone began prepping for the night's festivities since most of the Chunin and Tokubetsu Jounin had been drafted for crowd control during the Genin dinner party at the Grand Oak.

Anko's eyes lit up from her vantage point in VIP - all of the Genin had been spread out among the ground floor in the normal seating area, the dance floor already filling up with little cliques segregated by village affiliation.

"You gonna share what was in that envelope?"

Anko shrugged off her best-best girl and raked her eyes past the gorgeous scarlet-eyed brunette to catch a familiar patch of bright blond hair stroll in next to the Yamanaka and Nara heirs.

"Come on, Anko! You can't keep us strung out like this after all we've been through!"

The purplette chuckled. "You mean like you did with us over your not-so-secret fling with Asuma?" Kurenai blanched a bit. "How long before you two make the official announcement again?"

Kurenai's downturned pout said it all. "Uh-huh, thought so."

Anko lifted a hand to her earpiece and pushed chakra into it. "Eyes up and on the Ame brats by the punch table." One of them was unsealing a flask of some sort. The two women paused their conversation long enough to hear a confirming report.

"One of 'em snuck in something to spike the punch." There was an audible sniff over the comms link. "I think it's bourbon."

Anko immediately keyed in. "Confiscate that and bring it to me. I'll need to, ah... send it to the lab. Yeah, that's it." Turning away to see where Naruto went let her catch Kurenai's incredulous glare. "What, Nai-chan? It's standard procedure." She glanced away to find her future boy-toy, er, target... settling into his arranged seating.

"Besides... I have a high enough tolerance to poison it shouldn't matter." She shrugged unconcernedly.

"Uh- _huh_ ," Kurenai groused, "but don't think that little diversion gets you out of this, girly."

Anko rolled her eyes.

"She spill yet?" Hana's voice seemed hopeful only to be crushed by Kurenai's negative shake of the head.

"Oh, get off it! He's a real-life prince! Even a woman as boyish as you has to be impressed with that fairy tale," the female dog-nin chirped.

Anko snorted right before her eyes caught something around the tables that made her eyes narrow with disgust. "Heads up, gang. Possible conflict at table nineteen."

All three women turned their attention to the duck-shaped head of a sour-faced Uchiha making its unerring way to Team Ten's location.

~o00o~

"I don't see your girl here, Shika." The grumbling pineapple on Ino's left was a solemn bookend to her non-speaking blond to her right.

"She's not part of the exams this cycle, Ino. We've covered this troublesome woman." His annoyed grimace swept momentarily from the other tables to properly bless her with his displeasure. "Besides, she's not _my girl_ ," he mumbled.

"Uh-huh, whatever you say, Lazy Bones." Her eyes dimmed a bit as she glanced down to the dance floor, her foot tapping happily to the Dj's music selection.

All of the Genin had been "encouraged" to relax their dress for the evening but, as far as Team Ten could tell, that meant either leaving their weapons locked up in hotel rooms or, more than likely, sealed away on their person. She giggled as the same white-haired boy with shark-like teeth was shoved away from yet another group of dancing kunoichi. Her nose wrinkled up briefly at his questionable fashion sense trying to figure out where he hid or could hide any weapons of note in a sleeveless tee-shirt the color of guava fruit. _'Maybe his bad fashion sense was the weapon?'_

"Looks like your knight-in-shining emo-ness approaches."

Shikamaru's jab at the Uchiha snapped her head around in time to see him standing at the empty half of their six-seat table, half of which sat unoccupied while they waited for Team Eight to join them.

He grunted out her name more like a command. "Ino."

Unfortunately, his tone of voice earned him the immediate ire of her teammates as both males turned angry glares on him, glares the spoiled Uchiha smugly ignored. Despite Ino's raised eyebrow, she began to rise and follow him, her motion halted by Shika's hand on her own.

"We value our teammate Uchiha. Hurt her and Ino gutting you like a dead cat will be the least of your worries."

Sasuke spent two seconds meeting Shika's glare followed by a dismissive grunt as he turned to walk away without so much as an acknowledgment.

"He's not worth your time, Ino," the Nara heir urged.

"I've told you before, Nara. I'm a big girl so you can butt-out of my business now." She broke free and followed after the supposed object of her long-term academy affections, her eyes briefly catching the crushed expression on Sakura's face as she passed by their table on the far side of the dining area.

"Good riddance I say."

Both boys turned from trying to set the emo wonder's hair alight with their eyes to the smiling face of Tenten Higurashi now comfortably ensconced in Ino's abandoned seat.

"So," she began casually, "what're we havin' boys?" Her face-splitting grin made Shikamaru groan up until her palm slapped against his mouth and casually shoved him out of his chair with a thud.

~o00o~

"I despise that boy."

Anko turned to look between herself and Kurenai right into the warm brown eyes of Yūgao Uzuki. "Looky, looky! Gang-bang's all here!" She laughed off the prudish frowns of her best gal friends even as she tittered happily at her own cleverness.

"You drew the short stick?" Anko queried earning a heavy sigh and confirming nod from the beautiful woman most accused incorrectly of being her sister.

"I'm his trail for the night. Something about being a flight risk." Without taking her eyes from the dark-haired boy trying to pull the Yamanaka heiress into his arms for a slow dance, she dog-piled onto the Anko conversation. "She spill it yet?"

"GAH! Not you to!" Anko's hands clasped with a thud over her left breast as her face twisted up in the mock pain of betrayal. Immediately after her gasp of suffering, all conversations came to a halt with the heavy slap reverberating up from the dance floor.

"Saw that coming." Yūgao's almost lazy comment drew her friends' faces back to her. "Well, I'd better go break this up and explain to the Uchiha why it's a bad idea to treat a kunoichi like a sex toy."

~o00o~

 **~ Two Minutes Before the Slap Heard 'Round Konoha ~**

Ino tried very hard not to flinch once she placed her back to the band and noticed Tenten Higurashi plopping down into her still-warm table seat. _'Would she jump in my grave that quickly?'_

So, that complimented her already bad mood following the Uchiha's grabby attempt to isolate her on the dance floor and much too far away to do anything about the feminine usurper. Nothing for it but to grit her teeth and push through as she gracefully slid out of his reach.

 _'I know that he loves me. I am a strong and confident kunoichi.'_

 _'I know that he loves me. I am a strong and confident kunoichi.'_

 _'I know-.'_

"Hey! Are you listening to me?" He sounded perturbed. Good.

Ino's cheeks pinked as her descent into the rabbit hole was abruptly halted by the sound of her current mission. _'Kami, he'd better appreciate this!'_

"Sorry, I was distracted by something that got delivered to the house earlier." _'Better to obfuscate and push this to a confrontation early.'_ She wanted to be full-on quits with the emo bandit despite the current timetable. _'Maybe Naruto-kun will forgive me?'_ She could only hope.

At least here he couldn't drop trowel as he did outside her house the other night following Naruto's unexpected yet highly appreciated visit expecting him to "prove her worth" by servicing the "mighty Uchiha member," as he called it.

He was so embarrassed by her sudden and unstoppable outburst of laughter, one that continued for several minutes once she saw the tiny little object nestled in that absurdly puffy bush, that he'd simply hauled up his boy shorts and stormed off amidst the blossoming attention of her neighbor's bedroom lights.

Even now she had to lift her arms up to strategically block her mouth covering up the blushing snicker trying to fight its way out of her throat, her distraction working as her heavy breasts lifted drawing his gaze down to them like a flashing neon sign allowing her to fight off a vindictive snicker. He was _definitely_ not bigger than Naruto.

"Oh, I understand." The prick hadn't even bothered to raise his eyes from her tight blouse. She could tell by the oddly distracted look on his face that he didn't understand nor did he care. _'So much for making him jealous enough to do something stupid.'_

"Like I was saying, I've noticed that you're developing into a fine kunoichi." His eyes raked shamelessly over her gently bouncing chest and swaying hips despite the heavy wraps at both ends. "With some polish and a little soap to wash off the Dobe's stench, you'll make a fine second or third wife to help me rebuild my clan."

It took a lot of self-control not to frown at his casual insult to her Naruto-kun even as the back of her mind registered being okay with Konoha's archaic CRA bylaws.

 _'Oh, well... apparently I won't need to goad him into acts of stupidity.'_ If he noticed her dangerously narrowed brows at all it didn't show in his body language.

He said it with such matter-of-factness that she had to blink in order to give her mind time to process his actual words. She knew for a fact that the Uchiha CRA hadn't been announced yet, its consideration highly contingent upon his upcoming performance in the Finals. This meant that he either assumed it was some inviolate fact of life that he was going to win promotion or someone on the Council was in his dingy little pocket.

A good look at his smug face told her that it was probably the latter and that her daughter probably had obnoxiously pink hair.

"That's why I'm going to grant you another opportunity despite your rude behavior Friday night."

 _'Oh, you're still talking? And since when is flashing a woman your micro-peen not considered rude? It's assault, you prick!'_

She tried to ignore his rambling and focus on their poor attempt at couple's dancing. Kami, how she missed grinding up against Naruto as they owned the entire dance floor regardless of whether it was Latin, ballroom, or club. If she showed it to him, he'd master it by the next song break and they would get truly creative from thereon. It was a liberating experience to be alive in the music with someone that could appreciate it as well as she could.

The Uchiha was clearly not that kind of person – he wasn't even two-stepping in time with the now thundering downbeat. Here one of her favorite songs was thumping out an insane bass beat through her very sensitive body and this modern freak of human nature hadn't shifted from his side-to-side shuffle since they'd set up camp on the half-filled dance floor. Even novice Genin had better control of their bodies than that.

For a just brief moment, she wondered if an impromptu dance-off would have made a better first phase to the Chunin Exams. Individual songs? Duets maybe? Anything would be a better train of thought than her current conversation.

Her mind continued to pull apart her unhappiness, her eyes casually flitting across the dancefloor taking in the other gyrating bodies, right up until her non-dancing dance partner stepped forward, slapped his left hand on to her healthy posterior, and squeezed hard enough that the discomfort made her wince shocking her out of her stunned reaction.

She stood there, both feet no longer keeping time to her favorite song until the arms that had been static up near her pretty face slowly, gently went into motion.

The left one touched his smirking cheek tenderly, an act that made his insufferable smirk broaden, as her fingers slipped up to gently thread through his raven locks. It was as his mouth was opening to admonish her about "messing up his do" (she knew how much he hated people touching his greasy hair) and his unoccupied hand gave chase that her left knee shot up into his groin producing a pained _WHOOMPF_ from the Sharingan heir's lungs, her fingers simultaneously clenching into his disgusting rat's nest of a head.

When her foot planted onto the dance floor, her left hand twisted his neck around to present a clean shot of his left cheek just in time for her chakra-powered, open-handed [ _Bitch-Slap no Jutsu_ ] to send him fully to the floor in a crumpled heap.

The music in the club stopped with that familiar _SCRIITCH_ sound of a record needle being lifted from its spinning surface, all of the chatter coming to an immediate halt in time to hear her rabid threat of castration should the arrogant bastard ever try to treat her like one of his soiled doves since a real woman was clearly beyond his infantile skills to obtain without the help of money.

Sasuke Uchiha could only grunt in pain as he lay balled up into a fetal position on the floor as the angry woman stormed off without a backwards glance.

~III~

Guren was trying not to think beyond her immediate task. Laid out before her on the tatami mats of that weaselly prick's apartment were a half-dozen sealing scrolls meant to hold everything from medical notes to actual shinobi gear, most of the lethal stuff hers.

She'd been spending the last three hours scouring the apartment for hidden caches of things cursing the four-eyed bastard that ordered her to do so before he stepped out to perform whatever final task he needed to do. Unfortunately, he'd neglected to tell her where they were all located and, when she'd asked if there were any hard to find nooks, Kabuto snidely responded that a "good girlfriend would know where to look if she'd been half paying attention."

She was on what was what would arguably be her ninth pass of the place swearing as she went knowing that it would all be over the day after tomorrow. The day after tomorrow…

Her liberation was at hand.

"Guren-chan!"

She hissed at the sound of his sicky-sweet voice, her hands unconsciously grasping the front of her yukata protectively.

"In the bathroom," she yelled back.

"Are we done packing?" His voice sounded almost pleasant. To the untrained ear he would sound like the perfect, loving boyfriend or husband.

His voice made her want to kick his nuts up past his tonsils and into his mouth.

"Hmmm," she paused listening to him appraise her work. "Looks like you've done a great job, Guren-chan. Let's seal all this up and get ready for bed."

She cursed through clenched teeth as she replaced the lid to the toilet bowl tank then washed her hands in the hottest water she could stand.

"Also, Guren-chan I-."

His voice went silent and a deep shiver shot down her spine.

"Kabuto?"

She didn't really care about him, per se, but anything that silenced him so abruptly had to be serious. His mouth was genetically predisposed to smartass comments even under pressure so this could mean only one of two things. Either Konoha finally figured out what they were up to or a bigger threat was in the apartment with them and the only thing Kabuto feared was his boss.

 _'Kami, I hope it's the tree huggers!'_

She didn't call out again. Slipping soundlessly from the bathroom she half-slid-slash-glided her bare feet across the floor displacing her weight as evenly as possible to reduce the possibility of squeaking the wooden floors of the apartment's hallway. Rather than draw a kunai and risk the metal vibrating, she very slowly encased her body Kesshō no Yoroi, extending the micro-layer of crystal armor along the knife edges of her hands to form sharp-edged blades. The apartment was dark enough she hoped whoever snuck in wouldn't be able to see her armor until it was too late.

What greeted her once she rounded the final corner leading into the living room was a veritable wall of pressure that stole her breath away driving her down to her knees.

"Kukukuku, I certainly hope those weren't meant for me, Guren-chan."

 _'K-Kami!'_ "F-F-For… F-Forgive… L-Lord…"

The evil snake bastard hissed out another laugh and the pressure miraculously vanished. "I will assume that you were simply worried for the safety of your… _partner_?" It almost sounded like he was unsure, but she knew better than to believe that he would ever be indecisive. Just like she knew that the casual exposing of his back to her was an invitation for the slimy bastard to kill her if she struck out at him.

Despite the burning hatred in her heart, she forced the crystal blades at the ends of her hands to disintegrate into glittery pieces of crystal dust as she fought to suck in enough air to slow down her pounding heart.

"Tch. A pity…" Losing interest almost immediately, Orochimaru focused on his still-kneeling second. "Tell me, Kabuto, are we still on track?"

With a nervous push to his glasses, Kabuto began his final report to his master and Guren gnashed her teeth knowing he'd take his frustrations out on her afterward. She hated him all the more for it.

The first day of single matches couldn't come fast enough.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** We may have broken Aunti Keina. She appears to have gone off the grandbaby making cliff and may be in need of a serious intervention.

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Ninpou: Kage Kagami Shinten no Hō (Shadow Mirror Body Changing Method):** Before initiating the technique, the user must set up the area with a patterned circle symbol. After performing special hand seals while standing within the prepared area, the technique will activate: ribbons of light extend out from various places on the user's body, covering them completely as they transform the user into what they desire, including any necessary items such as the suitable attire. However, the user's voice does not change.

Unlike a regular transformation, this variant is permanent, with purportedly no way for the user to return to their original form

 **[D-Rank] Okunote: Meinu Hirateuchi no Jutsu (Secret Skill: Bitch Slap Technique):** One of the earliest forms of chakra sheathing taught to kunoichi, this dreaded strike instills fear in even the most foolish of shinobi.

~III~

* * *

 ** _Seven Easy Steps to Ninja Stardom_**

 ** _by Minato Namikaze_**

 ** _Chapter 6: Find Your Niche (But Don't Get Stuck)_**

* * *

 _Before you blithely skip past this chapter, "finding your niche" is not the same thing as becoming a one-trick pony. Finding your niche means finding a particular area in shinobi warfare that you're good with and making a name for yourself. If you can do that, other doors will open for you giving you more opportunities to prove your versatility to your comrades and your Hokage._

 _"Bloom where you're planted" is a very common phrase. If you blossom into a deadly warrior for your village, there will be other opportunities to branch out and grow further. Before you know it, you to can become a mighty branch supporting the Great Tree._

 _While I can only speak tangentially about the other great villages, Konoha has key areas where you can make a name for yourself once you reach the rank of Chunin._

 _Heavy Combat is often the most common vortex claiming ninja fresh out of Genin-hood. It provides excellent opportunities for growth under pressure via the "Trial by Fire" method of on-the-job training. It is also the greatest contributor to names on the village's memorial to the fallen. OJT is the least forgiving sensei a shinobi can have but, if you thrive in that sort of environment, you can make a name for yourself rather quickly – both good and bad so try not to crap on your comrades on your way up the trunk of the tree. You just need to be able to balance raw power, brute strength, and skill as you go._

 _Infiltration and Information (later Infiltration and Assassination once you reach Tokubetsu Rank) has an equally steep learning curve with an equally unforgiving lesson plan; bad spies do not live to become old spies. Cutting your teeth here requires more finesse than raw power, although a little of the latter may help when you need to cut a hasty retreat. A fair amount of knowledge concerning hallucinogens and truth serums is helpful, especially when married with paralyzers and untraceable poisons (for later). Escape & evasion, stealth, locksmithing, land navigation, survival, wirework, acting, disguise & camouflage (no, not the same thing), politics – yes politics – a critical skill to have if you try your hand here? Short on one or more? It probably won't be the end of the world right away, but it quickly will be. This is also the only avenue available if you seek employment with Konoha's Torture & Interrogation Division._

 _If you don't have perfect chakra control, I'd advise you to bypass the Medical Squadron altogether. Without that level of fine control, you'll never get past basic first aid and you'll spend your entire life manning a desk at Konoha General. No, perfect chakra control is the bare minimum so, if you want this field, you'd better become really familiar with that stupid leaf._

 _Barrier Division shinobi are the best the Leaf has to offer in Fūinjutsu. If you're one of the few Uzumaki lurking about that probably doesn't mean much to you, however, for the rest of the shinobi world that means a great deal. They are the cornerstone of Konoha's defense and, as a division created by the great Mito Uzumaki, they have been and remain pivotal in Konoha's ironclad defense with two branches or expertise (detection and interception). Without their knowledge we as a nation could not have remained so dominant through three shinobi world wars so, before you dismiss their boring scribbles, consider that fact. If you think you have what it takes, pick up a calligraphy book and practice until your brush skills are immaculate before you apply for entry and, before then, I recommend "Death of A Thousand Strokes: An Introductory Guide to Fūinjutsu," by Mito Uzumaki. You'll thank me for it later._

 _As a final opportunity, the Communications Division offers more than just the ability to speak to people. Believe it or not, they have their ninja fingers in multiple rice bowls. This division maintains not only the Courier Branch, but the carrier birds trained to deliver everything from emergency missives to delicate Ambassadorial communiques. Of course, what is a good communication system without the ability to encrypt and decrypt critical messages (whether they belong to your village or not) with the Cipher Division and their advanced Game Theory mathematics (an explanation of their ability to navigate patterned intelligence through Systems Theory and Nonlinear Dynamic would take several more pages – it's complicated and that's all you need to know until you join them). As a more esoteric form of communication, they man Konoha's less visible Research and Development Branch using the chakra-powered telecommunications system jointly developed and shared throughout the "Big Five" shinobi villages, among other scientific advantages. They have their hands in a lot of stuff I can't talk about legally without killing you, so I'll just stop here for now._

~III~


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N:** My apologies to those of you waiting patiently for the next Nature of the Savage Beast update. As I've broken the Chunin Exam Festival into multiple sections, I decided to work on this next chapter while the iron was still hot. Nature will get updated this weekend and I'll be back on track. _Gomen_.

 **Thank you for the recent influx of reviews.** Good or bad I enjoy them all and I'd like to welcome the latest additions to the review pool that have not shared before ( **Lord Borhon, Elypsus** ). Welcome to the small club that is my fanfic world.

I give you now installment 2 of 3 covering the first day of matches in the Chunin Exam Festival. ~12K give or take, 12K more to go (give or take).

Enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 43: Dysfunctional Family Bonds**_

~III~

* * *

 _"Difficult doesn't mean impossible. It simply means that you have to work hard."_

– Unknown

~III~

* * *

Despite the undesired setback at the Oak, Day two of the Festival was an equally busy affair as the streets filled with the crush of excited humanity. Naruto hadn't yelled at her during the walk home at all, which was-. No, that was pretty concerning actually as it threw off a lot of things needed to keep her family buffered should the Fire Daimyo get pissed over what was to come next.

A katana to the neck could ruin just about anyone's day.

She'd need to think about that a bit. Maybe talk with her dad a little to see what he thought but she needed to push that to the side for now since today was going to be busy enough all on its own.

Tomorrow was to be the first day of blood as Genin clawed and fought their way to a promotion. You could feel the tension in the air especially around the stall catering to the legalized gambling guild as their bookies continued to bark out the odds based on village favorites and known top Genin. Ino tried not to grimace at the incredibly low odds next to Naruto's name when she passed them on her way to the flower stand earlier that morning.

 _Ten to One_ against him surviving the first round.

 _Fifty to One_ against making it to and winning his first singles fight.

 _One Hundred to One_ that he made it to the finals and winning the whole thing was something astronomically huge.

It made her blood boil, but she had enough to worry about on her plate already, the previous night's runaway Uchiha party a painfully repeating loop in her mind.

A very bashful and apologetic Ino wanted to spend the entire evening before Naruto groveling at her loss of cool, but they had roles to play until the end of the first day of combat. So, she sat alone in her bedroom miserable for the rest of the night. Anko thought it was hilarious but had to rib her over her "piss poor choice in boyfriend material" since they were "supposedly" on opposite sides of the fence.

Kami she hated ever accepting that mission from a pair of dastardly advisors.

She couldn't even protest Tenten's very much unwanted presence at their table and ended up being hit on the rest of the night by the rabid Inuzuka since Hinata's hateful family wouldn't let her come to the party with Kumo anywhere inside Konoha's walls. From the looks of it, none of them would see the bashful heiress until the first actual day of competition and that meant Ino was stuck with the slobbering dog-nin who also couldn't take "no" for an answer.

 _No meant NO damnit!_

Not even the sight of Sakura holding a bloody icepack to the Uchiha's swollen lip while he glared impotently in her direction before he eventually stormed out in a huff could make her feel better ( **A/N:** I did promise there would be blood last time). Still, day two was shaping up to be a better start.

Helping her mother man the temporary flower stand, Ino let her mind wander over the last month in all its insanity occasionally letting her eyes sweep the gaily colored yukata of the bustling crowds. Her shop and nearly every other establishment had agreed to close for the week of the Festival under the premise of luring all of the new business into one area, kind of like how casinos are built to keep you distracted and stuck inside them in an effort to separate you from your money. Most of the civilians, still blissfully unaware of the invasion, accepted it under their greedy "economic collectivist" mantra and moved on blithely - better known as collective money-grubbing.

It wouldn't matter in the next forty-eight hours anyway since this area would turn into a killing field.

Shaking it off, Ino spent the entire day moving on automatic pilot, her hands staying busy despite the angry faces of her former frenemy stalking by to glare at her from a safe distance. Sakura walked away confused at the rampant snickering on Ino's face, the pinkette's confusion marking her rather-prominent forehead pucker with worry lines.

Ino snickered again knowing she'd get the joke if she ever succeeded in bagging the vaunted Uchiha savior of Konoha then managed to get him naked. Poor girl.

Before long, her father was sliding his arms around her mother's waist while shooing her away with a head nod. They'd had a serious conversation after the invitation was delivered, the event the agreed-upon signal for her to bring her parents in on the entire plan. She was hoping, at worst, they'd be disappointed in her after her illegal seduction mission had come to light but, after a good hour-long explanation as to her mutual confession between her and Naruto, she was not expecting the relieved tear fest from her mother as both parents hugged her while shouting, "Praise Kami!" over and over again.

 _What the-?_ In the end, she just went with it.

Needless to say, tensions were considerably lighter around the house. Well, as light as things could be with a pending invasion of your home village on the horizon. Still, the Yamanaka Clan Head and his family went about their public lives with great serenity and calm while their nights involved clandestine clan support of the Hokage and the rest of Konoha's forces, to which Ino got a front-row view of as the next heir. Kami knows she was spending hours after dinner traveling to and from their storefront to the separate clan estate as the mob of mind walkers fine-tuned their part of the village defense plan.

The nightly S-Class briefings with the village leadership - minus the ANBU initiate mask - was just as eye-opening even if her days were beginning to sorta run together.

She was looking forward to getting the night off to spend it romantically with her secret boyfriend. _SQUEEEEE!_

Stepping out of the shower after a thorough scrub and soak to soften her skin, Ino applied what used to be a laborious "Secret Sisterhood of the Sasuke-kun" bathing ritual for the one man she felt actually deserved that much effort. The only difference this time was that she could tone down the heavy powders and perfumes (his senses couldn't handle that much puffery) and present him with the natural silkiness of her _Falna_ -blessed body.

Oh, she could just kiss the Istorian boob-monster right now.

Tonight was about careful preparation. Her light dusting of makeup was to help bring out the color of her eyes. Her silken hair was meticulously coiled up leaving the nape of her neck enticingly bare and both eyes exposed, her normally heavy bang replaced with two coiling tendrils kissing her right cheek. A single _Ume_ flower was nestled above her left ear, its soft white petals framing gold-tipped stamen showing elegance, faithfulness, and purity of heart, all of it meant to enhance her glowing skin and classic lines.

Below it all, her sinfully curvy body was wrapped in a royal purple kimono cinched by a golden obi, the colors of her clan. Even the Shobu flower print pattern beginning at her left ankle before cascading up across the knees of her kimono to her right hip conveyed her hopes and aspirations - only another flower junkie would know that the flower symbolized glad tidings and loyalty, the former her wish and the second her solemn vow.

Heaving one last sigh into the full-length mirror of her room, she grabbed the matching wax-paper parasol and trudged downstairs to slip on her new geta purchased for this event only to meet with her cooing mother and teary-eyed father. They would spend another twenty minutes while her father snapped picture after picture, the last of which saw her mother's shaky hands taking out an ornate wooden case holding a perfect single strand of pearls used to complete her ensemble.

It's a good thing she wasn't wearing heavy makeup otherwise the two Yamanaka women would have ruined it right as three gentle, but firm knocks called from the front of their store.

Inoichi started but didn't feel the angry haze of chakra that stormed their home the last time this happened. With a nervous chuckle, Sumiko shooed him off to answer the door before another hail could sound as the two women stood nervously in the kitchen of their home holding hands.

"No matter what happens, Princess, I'm so very proud of the woman you've become."

Ino's surprise couldn't have been more evident, her nervous anticipation settling almost immediately as she stepped forward to embrace her sniffling mother. She really didn't understand the praise, but she'd figure it out after the entire invasion mess was over and done with.

If things went well, they'd have plenty of time to sort things out. She was only going to be fifteen this year but, deep down inside, she really hoped this was the turning point of her relationship with her parents, as frustrating as they made her sometimes.

"Your escort is here, Ino-hime."

Her father's subdued voice broke them apart, the confusion evident in the eyes of both mother and daughter. Once outside it all became clear as Ino saw a palanquin of rich woods carved to resemble creeping vines bedecked in flower petals. Four beefy porters in matching royal blue livery stood at the ready as a blonde attendant in a dark blue Hikizuri kimono with the sleeves and lower body crested by orange waves gracefully opened the door to the cream-colored interior of her transportation. Flanking her bearers for the evening were four massive figures wearing old-fashioned samurai armor armed with swords and pikes, their helmets and oni-faced masks obscuring their faces, as she tried not to trip and fall into the waiting compartment with her tiny steps.

Once the admittedly pretty girl assigned to help her removed her geta (apparently to carry them on her behalf) and closed the curtained door, the single-occupancy transport rose gently from the ground and her journey officially began.

The unhurried pace set the lightly scented compartment to a gentle rocking motion that nearly lulled her to sleep even with the dozens of questions bombarding her mind.

Has she dressed appropriately? Were the pearls too much making her seem haughty? Was her Furisode too conservative making her seem off-putting? Did she remember the invite? Oh, her mother had slipped it in her clutch. _'Sigh.'_ Did she even need to worry about competition if he wasn't part of Konoha's stupid CRA program? Oh, wait... Keina had mentioned that Uzu had something like that and that she'd probably not get her gorgeous single wedding after all.

The last thought that escaped her mind once her human-powered chariot set down was how in the sweet name of Kami was she supposed to sit on a cushion to eat in this getup?

Then, with the help of her smiling escort, she emerged from her cocoon, once again the beautiful butterfly bedecked in her new geta sandals, and into the warm night air dazzled by the off-white Chouchin lanterns leading up to the house, each bearing the Land of Whirlpools in simple black kanji and ringing the walkway leading up to the estate proper. A modest two-story home transformed by the soft lights of hundreds of smaller _andon_ lanterns dotting the lawn like overgrown fireflies awaited her exploration and wonder.

She was so enchanted that she didn't frown right away when three other exquisitely dressed women stepped out of similarly appointed carriages assisted by what would be twin versions of the young blonde helping Ino, each visitor dressed in delicately arrayed kimonos of their own.

 _'So much for a quiet dinner with Naruto-kun,'_ she huffed internally trying to plaster an accommodating smile on her face. Trying to appear braver than she felt, she stepped forward to meet what very well may become her future sister-wives.

"Surprised to see you here, Barbie-gaki."

While the tone of her voice was much more subdued than Ino expected it ever could be, she almost didn't recognize the beautiful vision wearing a cream-colored Furisode, the heptagonal design dancing along the woman's left thigh and hip almost snake-like with its alternating soft greens and golds. Her makeup was both flawless and tastefully done, her usual spiky ponytail conspicuously absent behind a well-groomed combination hairstyle; Ino didn't think Anko had enough hair for any of the heavily waxed Mage styles still worn by Geisha but she pulled enough to the front to frame her oval face with a pair of bangs then tied up everything else in back similar to Ino's bee-hive-styled bun.

Suddenly Ino wasn't as confident in her chances to win her man with a mature Anko in the game but she'd be damned if she gave up without a fight.

"He knows a good thing when he sees it," she fired back without hesitation.

"Ino?! Why the hell are you here? I don't see a snobby Uchiha for at least a hundred meters."

She turned to see a competently dressed Tenten Higurashi sporting what she thought was a forest green Houmongi-styled kimono, at least she thought it was. It was hard to tell with the way the older girl shifted, twitched and tugged at it. A rapid-fire scanning of the garment showed that it faded into a dark blue the closer you got to the edges of the sleeves and Hadajuban, the lower portion of the kimono starting about halfway down her thighs. The formal Zori and Tabi for her feet were beige colored to match her fan, Obiage, and Obijime but, other than that, Tenten didn't strike her as the type to get all flowery over a boy. Even her long hair coiled up into a single, looping bun hanging at the nape of her neck seemed more functional towards combat.

Ino's practiced mind immediately classified her as "Low Threat" and promptly ignored her.

"I'm here the same as you." She reached into her small handbag and brandished her royal blue envelope. "I was _invited_."

"Tch." The weapons mistress' teeth sucking was like sweet wine to Ino.

"Not that it will do any of you a bit of good," a silky voice retorted drawing all three posturing women in their direction.

' _Ah, the final competitor,'_ Ino opined.

When the fourth voice joined in, the three women currently trying to visually set fire to each other's hair and clothes all turned to unite against a common enemy sporting an unusual Iro-Tomosode kimono complete with both Nadeshiko and Uzumaki mon decorating the front and back of her garment. Surprisingly it was Anko that pointed out the bold move for the other two Konoha kunoichi going one step further and asking the foreign diplomat if she'd lost her mind.

Shizuka's laugh just bordered on condescending.

"This invitation is an opportunity to ratify the treaty Konoha penned with my country. According to the customs of my country, Naruto and I were betrothed the day he defeated me in ritual combat so, for all intents and purposes, we're already married and _you three_ ," they did not miss her emphasis, "will need to work harder to catch up."

"What the hell?!" Tenten's confusion was apparent but Ino countered giving the frazzled weapons mistress hope.

"Nice try, Princess, but you know why you won't be the only bride in this happy home." Ino almost took great pleasure in the woman's smug smile evaporating.

"Oh, that's right," Anko chimed in. "I almost forgot about that little Uzu prohibition on marrying someone from your rooty-poot patch of sand."

"Rule? What rule? There are rules?" Tenten's eyes were becoming frantic now.

"It seems the Nadeshikans are matrilineal for biological reasons and, according to the Uzumaki elders, if he marries her their genetics mean that his clan will literally die out. Any children they have will not only be female, but they'll be one hundred percent Nadeshiko, not Uzumaki. Her gene pool means that Naruto becomes the last of his royal line." Ino almost felt sorry for the hopelessly trapped woman as the words left her mouth.

"That's not an absolute," the now cross-faced ruler snapped.

Anko felt it appropriate to pile on. "Of course, it is. Didn't Naruto say Uzushio tried what, five times and got the same result each and every time?"

"They weren't royals!" It seemed the Flower kunoichi was losing her confidence. "I just need him to be willing to try it my way first and then-!"

"What a selfish bitch!" Tenten countered bringing a barking laugh from the oddly composed interrogator.

~o00o~

"Should we break it up before they come to blows, Naruto-sama?" Akimi was watching the verbal tussle below from the second floor of the modest estate with some concern represented in her cutely wrinkled brow.

The gentle voice snapped him out of his observation of the women below even though his response was less than immediate. "No, let them be." His eyes couldn't help but fall on the sole blonde. "What will be asked of them isn't such a simple matter. You can't expect four women to share what should rightfully belong to one of them and be happy about it."

The sigh he released after expressing his thoughts seemed heavy enough to carry its own weight.

"At some point, they'll have to work out their differences without my intervention. I can't be there with them all the time when things get rough even if they do agree to this."

All four kunoichi bowed before leaving him to his thoughts. They had a lavish dinner to put on for their new guests after all.

~o00o~

Shizuka's head whipped to face the stern-faced Tenten. "What?"

"You knew the risk to his family line, knew it all along, and yet you're still willing to force your choice on him?" Tenten's eyes narrowed further as she pressed on before Shizuka's open mouth could rally. "If you knew _anything_ about Naruto and how he's had to grow up here you'd understand that bringing back his clan means the world to him and yet here you are willing to take that from him on a _chance_ you've already been told won't work."

For once, Ino approved of and agreed with the angry tomboy.

"I'm willing to bet that, if not for this ritual you used to trap him, he wouldn't have invited you if he didn't feel obligated in some way." Her lips pursed as if weighing the girl's past deeds. "I'm also willing to bet you'd never give him the chance to come back here once you got your claws into him whether your plan worked or not."

"Nadeshiko is not without honor!" Despite Shizuka's heated retort, Tenten seemed unfazed.

"I wasn't talking about Nadeshiko." Her implications left the Flower Princess gaping in shock and frustration.

Tenten turned her back on the royal and followed the pretty lanterns inside, she in turn followed by two snickering kunoichis and one extremely frustrated princess.

Ino's first shock once inside was being met by someone that looked astonishingly like Hinata's sensei. In fact, she looked so much like the woman that a very confused Anko spent the three minutes needed to walk from the pristine entry to the formal dining hall asking her how she got an invite and why she wasn't answering her questions.

"She's not answering because she's not Kurenai Yuhi," an amused Naruto Uzumaki offered.

Anko's calm went right out the window along with her decorum.

"Bullshit! I don't know how you got her to play along but you can't tell me I don't know my best friend!" When Naruto's eerily amused smirk didn't calm her down, he nodded his head over her shoulder in way that indicated she should turn around. When she did, she was only further confused by what appeared to be an equally-kimonoed Yūgao offering to take their purses, clutches and various odds and ends with a polite smile.

This time Anko noticed right away the differences in the nearly identical woman forcing her to spin around and take another hard look at "Kurenai." She could see this time the much harder to spot variations in a stranger that could easily pass for her best gal. That realization ballooned her eyes and forced the now suspicious woman to whirl on their Cheshire-like host.

"What the fuck is _this_ , gaki?"

Naruto couldn't miss the simmering anger in her tone. "This is going to take a minute to explain. Please sit so that my Sirens can serve the _cha-kaiseki_ and I can explain as we dine."

Sit they did and he started his explanation as a befuddled Ino was served tea by her former _Root_ twin, her mind noticing the obvious differences in their bodies. He explained about the kidnap attempts that Ino was somewhat familiar with. He explained what he knew about Danzō's use of illegal body manipulation Jutsu to disguise them in order to gain his confidence and how doctors had proven the technique was irreversible leaving them stuck as they were. He explained about the long-running plot involving Akimi, who served the _Mukōzuke_ course to an equally baffled Tenten, and how her kidnapping was planned in advance by the same evil bastard.

By the time the meal reached the _Suimono_ course, Anko was ready to call it quits and move straight on to dango and sake.

"Each of you is special to me in your own way. Any single one of you would make me the happiest man alive."

"Even the clan killer?" Tenten interjected producing tea-snorting guffaws from the other two Konoha women.

"Yes, even the clan killer," Naruto clarified, his comment producing a blush on Shizuka and silencing the snickering of the other two.

"But you all need to be aware of what you're signing up for." He paused to take in each worried stare sent his way. "Being party to polygamy isn't something easy to accept, even if it's not illegal in a shinobi society. On top of that, there are people out there that still want me either dead, under their thumb, or out of the way."

"Out of the way of what, gaki?"

"I don't know, Anko-hime. All I know is I need to be prepared and that means any woman crazy enough to marry me needs to be prepared as well."

"Are you trying to scare us off?" Ino's question was blunt and to the point as usual but Naruto didn't seem flustered.

"Just trying to help you make an informed decision. Even if the five of us got along perfectly, something I would hope could become a reality in our family-to-be, we'll be set upon by enemies that want us to fail. I'm not looking for a clan hierarchy with first, second, third and fourth wives because all that does is promote backstabbing and hatred." Their four hostesses placed four different colored envelopes on the table, each envelope corresponding to the color of their kimonos.

"I want to rebuild my clan with women that I love and respect, but I won't force anyone into something like this. I can see that you don't trust each other and without trust none of what I want for us is possible. That's why I want you to consider what I've shared tonight and what that means to each of you. If you're ready to continue the discussion of a big family after sleeping on what you've heard tonight, I want you to respond with the envelope you've been provided with."

"And what if we can't get behind this idea of one big happy dysfunctional clan?" Tenten cautiously asked.

"There will be no hard feelings since, like I said, it's not a normal situation to ask a woman to share her spouse with another woman. All it means is that, if you're still willing to consider me husband material after tonight, I need to make a choice and try to sweet talk an incredibly strong-willed kunoichi into being stuck with me for the rest of her life." He was pleased to hear three of them chuckle at that.

"Then what?" Shizuka, who'd been eerily silent thus far asked.

"Then we'll see what happens next. We still need to get to know one another and that will involve multiple dates and conversations. Even after all that, you may find that I'm not the man for you and I'll be starting all over again. No matter what happens, I hope that we can remain comrades at a minimum and that you understand that I'd do anything in my power to help you regardless of our relationship."

In the end, it was a very peculiar ending to an extremely unusual night as four women replayed the entire evening's conversation an hour later in their palanquin escort's gently swaying embrace. It was a very much sedated Ino Yamanaka that tried to explain the night's happenings to her parents once she finally got home.

It wasn't the news they'd been hoping for but at least it answered the Hokage's question to Inoichi about where the four women sent to kidnap Naruto had gone.

He most certainly wasn't looking forward to that conversation tomorrow.

~o00o~

"Was it wise to tell them so much, Naruto-sama?" the red-eyed brunette asked.

The Genin being addressed jerked from his daze as he watched the four palanquins sway down the front path of his second? third? _third_ home and beyond the gate as they diverged to their individual destinations.

"I don't think it will be a problem for either Shizuka, due to her outstanding debt of honor, or Ino, as she'd already accepted the Konoha CRA. Tenten and Anko will be the holdouts I'm guessing."

Once the last armor-clad clone cleared the slowly closing gate, he turned away from the porch and calmly strolled into and through the house to the small training yard located in the back yard, all four Sirens padding silently behind him.

He needed to start preparing for tomorrow and there was no better time than the present.

Stopping on the finely-polished boards of his rear porch, his feet placed so that his toes wiggled freely over the edge, he cleared his mind with several, deep exhales followed by a total relaxation of his body starting with his shoulders. Placing his hands in the Ram seal, Naruto closed his eyes to center himself as his chakra pulsed and flexed like a living beast. He dug deep feeling for that broiling warmth that eluded him more often than not, the very air flexing around him distorting the space like a circular fishbowl. Gnashing his teeth as his brow beaded up with sweat, Naruto exhaled forcefully, his final burst compressing his diaphragm as he smashed the pulsing bubble of chakra forcing the distortion to withdraw back into his body after two more compressions. Still, he squeezed it forcing the now heated mass of chakra into a tighter sphere, tighter… tighter.

When he could squeeze it no further, when he could hold it no longer, his fingers began the methodical chain of seals necessary to release his first jutsu…

~III~

* * *

The next morning promised to be a bright and shiny day. From the top of the Yondaime's spiky head, Naruto looked up into the cloudless sky and couldn't help thinking it was a perfect day for an invasion if you were a defender. It would definitely make it harder for an attacking force to close on the gates with the hundred or so meters of open ground between the treeline and Konoha's outer defense perimeter. The village's outer wall, allegedly created in part by the Shodaime himself, was both sturdy and reinforced by the sacred Uzumaki art of defensive sealing even if its strength had been eroded over the years by shinobi ingenuity.

Oh, well. Not like it was his problem to deal with directly and only the Naozumi family knew he was heavy into advanced sealing through his clan's secret texts, a secret he had no intention to share with Konoha. No, he had other literature on the brain at the moment.

Closing what had become his father's greatest gift, Naruto sealed away his "Ninja for Dummies" book with a chuckle. _'I hope I made you proud this time around, dad.'_

It was still early. If his reading of the morning sky was accurate, he knew he had two hours before he needed to be at the stadium. There was plenty of time to do what he needed to do between now and then. Plenty of time.

As he watched the aggravated ant's nest in the main thoroughfare below work themselves into a tizzy, his mind ran through the late-night brief – the final briefing – of Konoha's brain trust. Decked out in his loaner ANBU gear, gear Lynx reminded him he'd have to return once the invasion was over now that he was an Uzu Daimyo, he listened attentively as his role in the invasion boiled down to two basic parts.

For the first, he'd been assured that -provided he reached the final round- he was pegged to fight Gaara should the boy opt to stay in the competition. His role was containment and subdual; under no circumstances was the Ichibi container to release the bijū in Konoha. If Naruto could not subdue or capture it, Tora would step in under contingency orders to eliminate the container with extreme prejudice, the threat of war be damned.

Naruto swore to himself not to let that happen.

He didn't even have to make his request to battle the Kiri swordsman as a condition of Uzu's continued assistance as Hiruzen informed him of the Mizukage's request that, should Suigetsu reach the final round tomorrow, that he be allowed to challenge Naruto over some perceived insult to Kiri's Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. Naruto felt the thirty seconds he stalled while "considering" the offer was unnecessary, but he needed to not seem overly excited over it. Considering how important it was to get the missing _Fang_ back, this was a promise Konoha could not go back on.

Now all he needed was a shot at Iwa's Kurotsuchi and it would be a perfect trifecta for the underdog Uzumaki Clan, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. No one was _that_ lucky.

For the second part, he crossed his hands in an all-too-familiar seal and, just like he did the night before, molded and compressed his chakra to a point where it was a rock-hard sphere of energy capable of distorting the air around him. This time, however, eight copies of himself shimmered into existence without extra smoke or noise. Releasing a steady breath, he spun about slowly to lock eyes with his ring of doppelgangers nodding solemnly to each one.

"You know the rules. No Oto prisoners tomorrow." All eight responded with a guttural, _"Ossu!"_

"Die well," his hissed out, his clones vanishing both literally and figuratively as they streaked off in groups of twos.

He felt the chakra drain, his shoulders rising and falling as his breathing regulated itself. His natural ability to generate chakra would ease the burn, in time, perhaps even by the time the first match began he'd be near half without chakra pills or other aid, but he wasn't worried. For one, half chakra for him was still far and above what his opponents were packing short of Gaara. For another, he could feel the burn as Kyūbi's youki flooded the seal, the army of conversion arrays blending and merging fresh chakra for his use like a shinobi sweatshop.

He'd be near full by the end of the hour and that brought a smile to his face as he fell forward to begin his free fall to the ground below, his body angled just enough to float him back towards the cliff face where his feet made intermittent contact allowing the chakra pouring from the souls of his sandals to let him stick. Peddling his feet with gradually-increasing resistance, his rapid free-fall ended in a casual stroll by the time his left foot struck the soft earth.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Naruto began his leisurely stroll out to the main street and Konoha's grand coliseum. He had one small thing he needed to take care of before the day could "officially" begin.

~III~

Hiruzen shifted in his box seat, his face twisting up as the pain in his hips flared briefly. Ugh, getting old was such an inevitable bother.

Today, however, his eyes were filled with a gleam long since missed. Despite his protesting bones, the longest served Hokage felt fifty-two once more. Considering he was closer to eighty than seventy, it meant the day was a remarkably good one. Months of revitalizing his chakra network had done wonders for the rest of his seventy-six-year-old body masking his discomforted age behind a soothing wall of warm life-giving energy.

Sweeping his eyes down from the covered Kage box, the wizened Fire Shadow watched the mob of excited faces pour into the stadium easily picking out the "honest faces" of his concealed shinobi vice the more subdued disguises of enemy Oto and Suna shinobi. There was a twinge in his heart at the risks they were taking but, for the greater good, it had to be done.

He couldn't let the snake escape and earn a third chance to harm the Great Tree. One way, or another, it would all end tomorrow even if he had to ask a boon of his departed peers. He'd need them to lend him the strength needed to see his own Will of Fire flourish. Too much counted on him winning one last battle.

' _Please lend me your strength today and guide me through this rat's nest of deception.'_ His eyes flickered off the high wall of the stadium's northwest skyline to the faces staring down upon the stage of today's meager contest of wills, none more judging than his own face.

Down below the gaily chattering voices continued to mingle giving rise to the pleasant cacophony of humanity flooding row upon row of concrete bleachers every bit as uncomfortable as his molded throne. The back of his mind vaguely remembered how much he hated the thing, the original being Tobirama-sensei's idea as part of the "imagery" associated with his position. He'd give almost anything for-.

"Hokage-sama," Neko-chan's dulcet voice caught his attention as he turned to spy the most wonderous sight – a golden tasseled seat cushion covered in the softest looking apple-red velour embroidered with the kanji for "Fire Shadow."

He was so thankful that he shamefully brushed aside his paternal concern for her still wounded heart and almost kissed her face mask for the timely present. Instead, he eagerly accepted the gift relocating it immediately beneath his bruised posterior with an appreciative sigh as his hips and spine realigned.

"Perhaps it's time for you to give up that hat, old man."

Hiruzen didn't need to turn in order to see the condescending sneer adorning the face of his Iwa rival so he let his words defend his age to an equally aged Kage.

"If you do not possess the foresight and wisdom to plan for all contingencies, perhaps it is you who should consider retiring, old friend." Hiruzen enjoyed the Fence Sitter's snarl even as A's barking laughter announced both his presence and approval of the repartee.

It was the half-veiled face of the Kazekage that caught his attention, however, as he trailed in behind the lovely Mizukage to take his seat of honor, as afforded of a long-standing ally, on Hiruzen's immediate right.

~o00o~

"Where is he?" Ino was starting to grow anxious. Here it was ten minutes until official announcements were to begin, and all of the Genin teams – even that crazed redhead from Suna – were present and arrayed in neat little lines near the western wall of the stadium (presumably so the Kage box could see them all). They were the only ones missing a team member.

Act or not, she wanted to kill him.

"Trou-."

"We get that it's troublesome for you, Shika, but if you spout that nonsense word one more time this morning, I'm giving you a kunai enema."

Shikamaru twitched violently but kept silent; Ino had become dangerously proficient with _bukijutsu_.

"I hope your cowardly teammate shows. I'd be horrible if his fear of real competition caused you all to forfeit before I could kill him."

Both Shika and Ino turned to face the sneering Iwa kunoichi to their immediate left hinting that their teammate was a coward at heart and, despite the outwardly presented romantic disfunction, Ino rose to the bait.

"I doubt fear is his issue since Iwa, and anyone from it, hasn't been a _real_ threat – by themselves - since what? The Third Great War?"

The great hissing, spitting, and sucking intake of air from all three Iwa Genin was proof of her win in that small contest. She still wheeled on Shika before his mouth could open all the way to complain, the considerably smarter boy taking that as his invitation to "shut the hell up" as Ino had more than once stipulated.

"Still, he needs to get here before the talking begins or you guys will be in a serious bind." Tenten may not be a fan of the blonde former fangirl but she didn't want to see her favorite shinobi get the boot because of some delay. She flat out refused to believe he'd be late on purpose especially after she literally dragged her teammates to line up next to their "youthful comrades." She could tolerate his rants if it meant being next to her man- _FRIEND!_ Yeah, that's it. He was a very, very important friend and she wanted him to do well.

Yes, that was it. She'd win him from the traitorous bitches trying to take his heart from her later.

"You should not worry. He is here," the monotonous voice of the gourd-wielding Suna nin just past Lee offered between mild fits of crunching his way through a box of Pocky snacks while a floating hand of sand smacked away his elder brother's reaching attempts to steal a Pocky stick.

The Iwa kunoichi, Kurotsuchi Ino thought her name was, snorted in contempt but the chance to ask him to explain what he meant was lost a moment later.

"Well, looks like it's almost time to start." Half-muttered around the senbon clamped between his teeth, the brown eyes of Genma Shiranui were focused not at them but up into the gathering mass of clouds swirling into a dark roiling storm head above them. He wasn't the only one to have noticed as one by one the Genin waiting patiently in line joined the already stilling crowd as lightning flashed and thunder roared through the dark blue nimbus just large enough to shade the stadium.

Calmly, almost lazily, Genma strode forward until he was standing directly in front of Shikamaru (a fact that made the Genin _tsk_ loudly as he tried to look around the larger nin) doing an about-face so that he could observe the Kages, each one except for the Sandaime, now rising to their feet, their allotted pairs of bodyguards rushing forward to stand protectively before their charges with weapons drawn. When the entire stadium stilled, when the energy in the air was beginning to make the hair on people's forearms stand stiff with static electricity, the dark mass of clouds flashed once, twice, then pulsed with an enormous crack of thunder as the very heavens split in a blinding surge of energy.

The Kage guards raised weapons to defend their leaders though several had to close their eyes not to be blinded by the energy strafing directly to the ground where Genma once stood. The senbon-chewing Jounin merely raised a hand to shield his eyes, meaning he only needed a few seconds to blink away the lingering after glare. Others were not so fortunate as evident by the many temporary cries about being blinded.

Ino and Shikamaru, having ducked instinctively along with most of the Chunin hopefuls turned back to the most extraordinary sight.

The ground where the bolt of raw power struck the earth had been scorched a dark black. The resulting pattern along the smoking earth wasn't anything they expected as the tendrils of raw _Raiton_ hadn't shot out in direct lines but in curved arcs forming a spiral of charred soil. Kneeling in the center was a figure very similar to the Komodo Squad shinobi Ino had become increasingly familiar with over the last week of clandestine messages being delivered by the quiet one called Nisshoku-chan and her mouth went dry as realization began to dawn on her.

On one knee, the knuckles of one gloved fist pressed to the ground, was a hooded figure swathed in greys and blacks. High-crested boots the color of fresh ink stopped just below his knees; the armor-plated type meant to hurt when they kicked you. Black ANBU style pants with extra cargo pockets placed closer to the knees disappeared into the tops of the boots but they could only see the pockets due to the heavy flaps of scaled leather from his hooded shirt splayed out to the sides with his body so close to the ground. With that brief window of opportunity, Ino noted that he didn't carry his normal combat pouches strapped to his thighs although she noted a thick band of leather strapped where a holster would usually be placed. It vanished as he slowly rose to his feet, unfortunately.

Now on his feet, she could tell that the heavy flaps stopping just above his knees covered three sides of his body vice four, the two on either side starting from the front of his body splitting the further down they went allowing unrestricted movement of his legs. There were no sleeves but the dark mesh stopping halfway down densely muscled arms easily drew the eyes of every hot-blooded female with a clear line of sight. She couldn't see the front of his getup, but the back showed a pair of familiar punch knives sheathed at the base of his spine. His shins and forearms were covered by his favorite armor plates and battle gauntlets, some black tape peeking up underneath the metal and running up to his elbows.

If only she could see his hair and face from behind. _Grrr!_

~o00o~

The Kazekage was outwardly less than pleased.

"Hiruzen, I am disappointed that you place such an obvious ringer in the competition to improve your village's image." Inside Orochimaru was ecstatic at the raw display of power, waves upon waves of delicious power he could feel through tingling skin from his position in the Kage Box.

"I will not dignify that crass remark from someone that brought an unregistered jinchuuriki into another country's Chunin Exam unannounced."

That simple statement garnered the attention of every other Kage in the box despite none of them voicing their clear objection. Hiruzen knew that each one would have done the same thing were they able. He also knew that they'd petition the international community for reparations should their villages suffer due to an overwhelming performance caused through such an underhanded tactic; the agreed-upon rules stated that each village would be at least notified thirty days in advance of the first exam stage so that they could properly adjust their strategy, failure of which to do so resulting in heavy penalties levied on the offender.

Orochimaru neither cared for the rules, of which he was most definitely aware, nor for the penalties that they were all sure a badly suffering Suna would be unable to pay. It's not like he was planning on there being either a Konoha or Suna around after this week anyway.

In lieu of responding to the rebuttal, he gave his best Rasa-style grunt and focused on the promising Genin below.

"Despite the Kazekage's punishable violation of the rules, I'm inclined to agree with his concerns, Hokage-dono." Everyone could see the Fence-Sitter's plotting gleam.

"Your program pamphlet has short bios on all of the competitors in accordance with the approved information release format of the exams as well as their shinobi registration number and dates of rank." Hiruzen's eyes never left the now bowing Uzu Daimyo that he still loved like a grandson. "Young Naruto has been a Genin for just over a year."

Both the Raikage and Mizukage, whose eyes had yet to leave the masked face of the hooded shinobi bulged briefly in surprise. Even if that was a genjutsu, of which the Mizukage was sure it was – it _had_ to be - the boy was clearly powerful. A, as attuned as he was to Raiton energy, kept silent knowing the truth deep in his sympathetic chakra network even if he still felt the need to _stir the pot_ a little.

"That could be anyone under that mask, Hokage-dono," A boldly challenged.

"So true, Raikage-dono." The elderly Kage nodded and tapped his cheek once, the body standing patiently in the center of the scarred arena floor calmly reaching up to lower his hood and remove the black-lined ceramic mask held to his face by chakra anchors, the dark cloth interlocking carefully placed pieces of sculpted ceramic covering his mouth, cheeks, nose, and eyes to resemble a serpentine skull.

The golden crown of spikes, ocean blue eyes, and faint whisker marks of Naruto Uzumaki stared back without flinching before sending a head nod to the Hokage, spinning on a heel, then taking his place in line with his team much to their relieved appreciation.

"Nice entrance, gaki," Genma whispered as he brushed by the grinning Genin and retook his place in the center of the arena.

With a cordial head nod, he hoisted his hood back in place, his face disappearing once more beneath the hybrid mask. Despite having his face hidden, both Ino and Tenten couldn't resist the troublesome blushes exploding on their faces; his muscled body, dangerous appearance, and overpowering aura showed Naruto had graduated from powerful shinobi to bonified badass that they both approved of very much.

The competitive glare the kunoichi shared with each other said everything they needed to say once he passed by and their eyes met.

~o00o~

Karin accepted one of the drinks Haku was passing out to the people lounging about in the living room of her master's home, most of them related or tied to him in some way.

"I still don't get why we can't go to the stadium. I mean," the girl's face was twisted into a minor pout, "he's a royal. They'd make room for us in one of the clan booths, wouldn't they?"

Keina nodded even as she spoke. "Of course, they would but that also exposes us unnecessarily." The growing bunch of Naruto's family, servants, and Guardians turned briefly from the incredibly large high-definition TV mounted to the wall currently playing a live feed from the Stadium.

"Today is the team challenge and we need to keep a low profile before the singles matches tomorrow. Poseidus has already set up a way for you guys to watch once you get there and the rest of us will be in the stadium to support Sochi during the invasion."

"Ugh! I can help!" the frustrated redhead crowed, her eyes crinkling nearly closed behind her glasses.

"We know that, but you're also supposed to be dead, remember?" Karin blushed having completely forgotten she was free of her village so long as they believed her dead, at least until her adoption into the clan was final.

"That feed is being piped to the homes of the other four major Daimyo so they can feed it to their people, something about drumming up community excitement for the Chunin Exam Festival concept Konoha came up with. Money is a greater incentive among the Daimyo, and they control their hidden villages which are huge targets for espionage among the smaller ones," the elder Uzumaki lectured. "You can believe spies from your former village are in at least one of them and whose face do you think they'll pick out in a sea of blonds and brunettes common to Konoha?"

Karin knew her bright red hair would stand out like a beacon in any Konoha crowd making her pout return full-bore.

"Hnh, a pound of honey vice a pound of vinegar makes the disaster easier to watch," the auburn-haired Siren mumbled out loud enough to be understood.

"True. Now shush! The fighting is about to begin." Everyone else in the room sweatdropped at Keina's bloodthirst, that is until Haku recognized something, or someone, on the screen.

"So, that's what happened to Shiroi-chan."

The collective "Who?" from the entire room drew a slight pink to the Yuki's cheek.

~o00o~

"Pfft! He's not all that impressive. My Sasuke-kun won't lose to him, right Sasuke-kun?" ( **A/N:** Three guesses who this is.)

Sasuke grunted out his own feelings of superiority since he'd been training hard and wasn't one to be intimidated by cheap light shows – even if her constant fangirling annoyed him. It was a tragic shame that he couldn't ignore the outraged, and sometimes open-mouthed, glares of disbelief from every other Genin within earshot that heard the shrieking praise of his most hated fangirl. Since they were on the far side of the Iwa team, and knowing how much their kunoichi despised "the blond Konoha filth" that was their Dobe, her matching stare combining disbelief with disgust was enough to nearly make him transition from full pout to partial shame. Nearly.

He was an Uchiha elite after all. He had some self-control.

"Alright, you brats." Genma's voice broke up their public condemnation of the pink-haired ninja wanna-be. Apparently, they'd completely ignored the opening speech by the Hokage welcoming everyone to the Chunin Exam Festival. "I need everyone except Kiri Genin Team Five and Team Kabuto to head on up to the observation area set aside for you."

He clapped his hands before making shooing motions with them as the Kunoichi from the Kiri team stepped up to whisper something in his ear, something he nodded amenably to. "Got it," he answered just loud enough for her to hear before turning his now jutsu-amplified voice out to the audience. "It's time to get this show started!"

The stadium roared its approval and just like that, the festivities got underway.

~o00o~

As the students separated to prepare for the first team battle, a red-faced Ōnoki turned on the still smirking Sandaime Hokage with a full head of righteous fury.

"You CANNOT tell me that is a Genin!" His finger angrily jabbed the air in the direction of the hooded figure calmly headed to the observation gallery with the other hopefuls.

Hiruzen laughed in his face. It was not a timid chuckle or spirited snort – it was a deep-bellied laugh that made the Iwa midget's whole head turn an unhealthy shade of red.

"That is exactly what I'm telling you and you have the proof in your hands to validate my claim." Hiruzen's satisfied smirk rotated away to observe the fight about to happen between Kiri and Orochimaru's favorite spy.

"Listen here- _gurrk!_ "

There was a sickening crunch as the Tsuchikage leaped up from his sitting position to present what he assumed would be a fully standing and powerfully intimidating position on the same chair he'd been given to gloat upon. Perhaps he thought it would give him the proper height allowing him to (finally) tower over the seated Hokage.

"Men your age should be careful not to get too excited, Tsuchikage-dono." The Mizukage's sweet voice only seemed the further enrage the already livid rock chewer as he froze in his hunched over position, his hand no longer pointing at Hiruzen as it flew to his lower lumbar region.

"… _ack_ , my back!"

~o00o~

"The rules are simple. Death waivers from Phase II remain in effect so don't count on someone jumping in to save your butts." Genma waited a moment to make sure all six competitors were paying attention to him as the entire stadium listened in rapt attention. "Victory comes through submission, unconsciousness of your opponents, or death. Last Genin standing determines victory for their team and, if you're not looking to die today, you'd better have the Kami-given sense to know when to surrender." His eyes rose above their heads to take in the observation deck holding the remaining contestants.

"Those of you in the stands should take note of these rules as I will not repeat them. If I do step in because a competitor is clearly unable to continue, you _will_ obey my commands. If you ignore them, not only will you forfeit the match, I will forcibly remove you from the bout and the remainder of the Chunin Exams making you ineligible for promotion at a minimum, no exceptions." His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Pay close attention to the screen across from you as it will announce the next match. Miss your call up and you will be disqualified from the tournament, no exceptions."

"Remember also that your waivers allow proctors to use lethal force, if required, to enforce the internationally accepted rules of the Chunin Exam, so don't push us." His eyes came back to the six immediately before him.

"Got it?"

Six heads nodded north-to-south.

"Good. Ready to begin then? _Hajime!_ "

Genma leaped back high enough to take to the stadium wall with chakra flowing from his sandals watching with interest as the two sword wielders charged the larger Genin in Kabuto's team. It was the female standing calmly behind them as she focused on the stationary Iryonin, however, that held his fascination.

~o00o~

Up in the observation deck, Naruto focused on the male carrying Zabuza's stolen weapon until his attention was partially pulled away.

"How did you pull off that stunt, _Dobe_?!" The Uchiha's petulant whine caught the attention of the observation deck filled with Genin competitors and their attending Jounin sensei.

Naruto didn't even turn around to address the spoiled Uchiha.

"Hey! I'm talking to you loser!"

"Pipe down so we can hear!" someone behind the ranting Uchiha complained. Sasuke pointedly ignored the angry voice as he continued to pester his former classmate.

There was a heavy grunt from below as the glasses-wearing Kiri shinobi hefted over his head a two-handed twin-handled sword-slash-hammer almost as big as his body right before cratering the stadium ground where a now frantic Misumi Tsurugi once stood.

"Shhhh!" Naruto's finger pressed to the lips of his partially-turned face actually made the arrogant Genin and his resident harpy blink in pause. "I'm trying to pay attention to the fights and you're just filling the air with senseless garbage."

Sasuke's face blistered to a near purple shade at the soft chuckles at his back.

Sakura bristled of course. "You should be lucky that Sasuke-kun would deign to take an interest in your pitiful technique!"

The sheer number of Genin in the stands rubbing abused eardrums should have been a hint that she should use her inside voice. One can never underestimate the sheer cranial density of the rabid fangirl unfortunately and Sakura was the prime example of rabid fan fetishism.

Down below, Kabuto was trying to reach either of his teammates who were both hemorrhaging profusely while dodging what appeared to be jagged icicles being sent his way by the score from the Kiri kunoichi. At best with his speed limited to mid-Chunin levels all he could do was dodge, most of it being in the rearward direction and away from either of his teammates being herded away by their aggressive opponents. Say what you wanted about them being mentally unstable, but the Kiri squad had excellent teamwork.

Back in the stands, Naruto never took his eyes from the fight as he attentively studied the form of the Genin wielding a sword he never earned.

"If I'm such the failure, then why hasn't he figured it out on his own already?" His eyebrow rose questioningly though his eyes behind the intricate mask never left the brawling melee below while Sakura sputtered reaching for a snippy response. From what he could tell as the youth pummeled the taller Yoroi Akadō with the flat of his blade, Suigetsu had some skill in swordplay suffering some loss of finesse through forcing extra chakra to his sword arm, which grossly distended it, so that he could swing the monstrous weapon one-handed.

' _Tch. Not even close to Zabuza's level.'_

 _TAAAANNNNNNGGGGG!_ Despite Naruto's harsh opinion of his skill with a blade Suigetsu was apparently good enough to render the larger Yoroi unconscious once the flat of his weapon struck the larger nin's head. From there it was a quick two-on-one when he moved to help corner the nimble Misumi.

"Are all Konoha's shinobi this arrogant?" The nearby Taki kunoichi asking the question had a horribly disgusted look on her face that did more for curtailing Sakura's belligerent behavior than any comment coming from Naruto.

"I would hope not," her fellow shinobi responded, "but I wouldn't blame the guy from Uzu for smacking either of them. They sound like they could both use a good beating or five."

The increasingly hostile mumbling from the rest of the observation deck was turning decidedly against Team Seven and it forced the angry Uchiha to back down, for the moment.

He figured if the Dobe wouldn't willingly give him what he wanted, then he'd just take whatever he desired once the matches started. He was an elite after all, and his vengeance was more important than the Dobe's right to keep his techniques a secret.

Diverting his eyes from the blond mess of spiky hair, he caught the tail end of the first match just as Genma announced Kiri the winners. Noting that both of Kabuto's teammates were being carried away, he realized his focused pestering of the blond orphan had cost him the opportunity to add some new sword techniques to his collection of thievery in addition to missing a handy ninjutsu technique or two from the long-ranged Kiri kunoichi.

"Winner, Team Yuki!"

Sasuke cursed silently at his loss of focus as Genma announced the next match with a five-minute breather while crews repaired the stadium floor.

As money began to change betting hands in the settling dust of defeat, all eyes turned immediately to the flickering names on the jumbotron screen except for the ones staring at the Mizukage (in the Kage booth) and the ones staring at a faintly smiling Haku (in Naruto's home). The unruly mob was, if anything, consistent in their constant desire for entertainment.

~o00o~

Mei's grin was anything but innocent as images of a blond powerhouse returning home with her danced merrily through her head. He'd been absent from the Kage / Daimyo meal the night before but there'd be another shot at the celebratory feast in two days. While she mourned the loss of Zabuza, she hoped to be able to tempt him to her side with another Yuki to help rebuild his clan having heard about the pretty Haku tied to his hip earlier in the week. Thank Kami for Chōjurō's sharp eyes.

~o00o~

Naruto's attention perked up at Genma's announcement of the first match's winner. _'Hnh, need to ask Haku about this second Yuki. I thought she was the last?'_ Thinking back on his own situation, he realized that couldn't be the truth as he knew of at least three Uzumakis thought to be extinct.

~o00o~

"What the hell, Haku!" Yup, Karin's outburst, despite Haku's unconcerned shrug of her slim shoulders, about summed it up.

~o00o~

 _Konoha Team Gai vs. Taki Team Hisano_

Naruto's attention got snagged by a blushing Tenten as she followed her teammates to the stadium floor (the whole time trying to ignore an exuberant Lee shouting about his burning youth much to Konoha's collective embarrassment).

"Keep an eye on me, Naruto-kun," she called out before squeaking and hurrying along behind her team before the incredulous stares could get worse.

"Did… did Tenten just fangirl on the Uzumaki _Dead Last?_ " Kiba's look of unmitigated shock did little to muzzle his free-flowing mouth.

Naruto snorted. "The only reason you outscored me was that I had too much chakra to cast a regular bunshin, mutt." Several pairs of eyes were glancing back and forth between the two, most of them shocked at his chakra problem and automatically categorizing the speaker as a ninjutsu threat.

"If I remember correctly, _ALL_ of my test scores were higher than yours, so I'd be careful with that 'Dead Last' moniker you keep throwing around so freely."

It didn't matter that he just barely outscored the Inuzuka heir trying not to draw attention to himself. His scores were higher, so it was, in essence, the truth (the fact that he had to hide his intelligence _and_ that Kiba never let him live it down was a nightmarish reality all its own).

At least this time Sasuke left him alone as the clan pouter was busy trying to steal techniques from both teams currently squaring off in the arena, his interest on the taijutsu monster that flattened him before the first stage of the exam and the all-kunoichi squad from one of their supposed allies.

~o00o~

"Feeling any better, Tsuchikage-dono? Or should I summon Tsunade-chan to take a look at your back?" Hiruzen tried not to chuckle too much at his clear discomfort, the aged Kage listing heavily to one side as he leaned on his left arm with a pained wince.

" _Gack!_ " the diminutive shinobi grunted in obvious pain, "I don't need your stinking tree magic! I'll be… _urrk!_... just fine in a few minutes." His face was flushed a deeper red than his nose. "For all I know, _gnh!_... you might try to have me killed with your… _ngh!_... tree voodoo!"

Despite the many insults in the pained tirade, Hiruzen laughed them all away in a show of benevolence. It really didn't matter to him if the stubborn fool suffered.

Instead, his eyes focused on the teams below as the three Taki kunoichi leaped backwards at the start of the match flowing through three quick hand seals in well-practiced synchronization right before clapping their hands together, his practiced eyes seeing the three shuriken they'd launch as soon as they jumped into the air. With widening eyes, he watched as three turned into thirty.

' _Did Taki steal our Shuriken Shadow Clune Technique? Noooo… that is something else.'_

Whatever it was, Team Gai scattered in three separate bursts of chakra-empowered motion, the ground beneath the exuberant one in green spandex cratering as he vanished from sight.

' _Impressive,'_ the benevolent Hokage considered, _'even if suffocatingly one dimensional.'_ It pained him to admit the taijutsu prodigy would most likely never advance past Tokubetsu in rank but it was the hard truth.

~o00o~

Sasuke grunted in disappointment as the technique used by the three Taki females slipped from his mental grasp, his furiously spinning eyes sliding past their glowing chakra forms. It was unfortunate that the Sharingan had difficulty copying collaboration jutsus, his eyes instead turning to the bowl-haired melee fighter screaming "Konoha Senpū!" at the top of his lungs.

~o00o~

Naruto turned away from the scrambling match below, the Taki kunoichi trying desperately to stay together while Gai's Genin expertly herded them about trying to cull a weak one from the pack. He did note Lee's speed and the relentless way he cratered everything in his path as the enthusiastic Genin gave chase to whichever one popped up for his attention.

' _With so many teams, each one will have to fight twice and then we'll probably fight two or three times individually just to get through everything.'_ He released a slightly heavier breath. _'I hope Orochi-bastard can hold out until I get a shot to deal with Suigetsu.'_

His eyes took in the scowling Kurotsuchi, who had been glaring at him since the matches started, and he smirked at her. _'Yeah, yeah, you'll get your shot as well I'm guessing.'_

He turned back to the match in time to catch the tail end of a fire collaboration jutsu being cast by the Taki Trio get interrupted once Lee plowed through one of the kunoichi from behind, his foot rendering her blissfully unconscious before her body cratered the rock-hard stadium floor as she bounced out of the new indention to roll to an unmoving stop.

Without their ability to conserve chakra through collaboration techniques, the fight ended relatively soon afterward in what he considered to be a very predictable outcome.

"Winner, Team Gai."

Genma grumbled about needing to resurface the stadium as snack vendors began making the rounds through the stands to keep the crowd distracted.

~o00o~

Several more matches passed without issue. Team Kurenai obliterated another Ame team despite the frustrating clone jutsu particular to that village, Naruto noting how difficult it was hiding from an entire team of sensors. Kurotsuchi's squad won their first match with little trouble using brute strength to mow them down, the kunoichi's sadistic enjoyment of the pain her Lava Release unleashed on a nearly defeated River nin noted by more than one observer, including her embarrassed Kage.

"She has plenty of power but it's not her power that's the problem," a disappointed Mizukage pointed out. The other four sharing the booth understood clearly that Kurotsuchi would not be receiving Mei's vote unless she displayed something akin to emotional control in her following matches. Ōnoki's displeased glare swept out to the side of their lofty perch noting the overly-pleased smile on Gekido's face and hardened.

He'd need to deal with the old man after this entire mess was over as this was just a step too far even for the hardened war veteran. Her behavior reflected poorly upon Iwa despite his many clearly-stated cautions to the old fool's enabling of his granddaughter. Despite Iwa's hardened attitude to warfare, a leader unable to control themselves in combat never kept the support of the military and Kuro-chan's sadistic hissy fits were being broadcast in high-definition back to Iwagakure steadily chipping away at his ability to eventually nominate her for the post.

Enough was enough.

~o00o~

 _Konoha Team Asuma vs. Tani Team Suiko_

Lady luck could only hold out for so long and, before Team Asuma knew it, it was time for them to take to the ring against an excited Genin squad from Takumi Village in the Land of Rivers. Even as Naruto rose from his bench seat to follow his team to the stadium, his mind reeled at the memories tied to the slowly dying village of weapons artisans, his eyes flicking briefly to the happily munching face of his fellow vessel.

Though their competition rose as well, he could not help how things could end up if Takumi's part in the timeline remains unchanged. Shaking off the trio of long-haired Genin slathered in newish appearing armor, his mind briefly relived the violent encounter he shared with Gaara as the sand nin crushed the single-minded Jounin-sensei of their team with a [ _ **Spear of Shukaku**_ ].

Sometimes being unable to change course when Destiny provides you with an unassailable roadblock can only end in one way.

As Team Ten took their positions across from three heavily-armored Genin all sporting the same purple and blue armor and long-haired dreadlock "do" of their sensei, a saddened jinchuuriki understood that his match could only end once all three were kissing dirt; Suiko didn't know how to back down so it stood to reason that his Genin would be the same way.

"Okay, the rules have not changed. Are there any questions?" Genma's voice snapped Naruto out of his depressing train of thought as he shook his head negatively while sliding his right foot backwards a bit more than shoulder-width apart. The Tani shinobi, all males, parroted his motion.

"Ready Konoha?" Shikamaru gave an affirmative nod.

"Ready Tani?" The Genin back and to Naruto's left side barked out a quick 'Hai!'

"Right then, _Hajime_!" Genma receded from Naruto's view as the blond dropped into an intermediate Hakage defensive stance, chakra flooding his skin in the first level of his [ _ **Iron Kimono**_ ] defense. Sparing a quick glance to the matching chest plates his opponents wore bearing a tiger's face, his eyes flowed toward their ninjato as a kunai flashed into each of his palms.

' _Hnh, more Mugen Kōgai no doubt.'_ He engaged the first Genin charging his team and crossed blades glad that their swords didn't appear to drain chakra. _'So long as I don't strike the chestplate I should be okay.'_

Suiko's armor could suck the chakra right out of weapons and limbs if you struck anywhere near the embossed tiger face near the center of his body. While not as powerful as the tech from the Land of Spring, it could be just as frustrating for close-range combatants.

Naruto grinned as he saw Ino slip past him to distract the next shinobi from their village with her own kunai even as he felt the chilling embrace of Shikamaru's Kage technique once it piggybacked from his shadow to his opponent's. Once his body unlocked, his knuckles, reinforced by the kunai handle gripped firmly in his hand, rushed upwards in a punishing uppercut to their taijutsu expert's jaw, the boy's eyes rolling up into his skull as he rose up on his toes briefly only to collapse to the ground.

Shika's timing was a touch off earning Naruto a hissed "troublesome" as the Nara's body jerked upwards along with his trapped opponent. He didn't have time to admire their plan's effectiveness as he immediately pushed forward passing close by Ino as she trapped her opponent with an arm extending armlock keeping him bent over at the waist long enough for Naruto to punt him in the ribs; despite the boy's well-crafted armor soaking up most of the chakra in Naruto's leg, the boy's feet still left the ground completely with the force of the blow. As Shika darted forward to engage the remaining nin still confused by the flurry of Konoha activity and teamwork, Ino finished off her gasping-groaning victim with the ring of her own kunai firmly impressed to the back of the boy's skull.

Once he dropped like a stone, she dropped her kunai lifting her hands up into a familiar seal as Shikamaru and Naruto flanked the remaining Tani Genin keeping his focus squarely on him as they boxed him in.

"You may want to surrender," Naruto chided with a soft chuckle already suspecting what the answer would be.

"NEV-," blink, blink. The Genin snapped one hand in the air before yelling out, "Tani surrenders!"

Shikamaru and Naruto turned to walk away in order to join their formerly-prone-but-now-standing kunoichi as a shocked and blinking _former_ opponent stood there wondering what the hell just happened.

The entire match had taken less than forty seconds and, much to the teeth-gritting displeasure of one Sasuke Uchiha, he'd gained nothing useful out of it. The Tani team relied on their weaponry to win making them painfully one-dimensional against a more agile squad. Adding insult to injury, whatever the Dobe was doing with his chakra kept forcing his immature Sharingan to slide off of his form, which was another whole sort of problem even if all he used was the basic Academy fighting style Sasuke had zero desire to learn.

He was so wrapped up in his own frustration Sasuke nearly jumped out of his skin when his one-eyed sensei clapped a heavy palm on his shoulder drawing his attention away from the stadium floor.

"Sasuke, you wouldn't be trying to steal techniques from your fellow Leaf shinobi without their permission, are you?"

Even the Last Uchiha gulped at the annoyed tone of his teacher.

"Because I'd hate to have to pull you from the Exam if you were." Suddenly an overpowering aura washed over him as Kakashi's face seemed to glow with an unearthly light.

Having forgotten that his Sharingan was still active, Sasuke wisely let the chakra dwindle from his eyes along with the angry red of his greedy orbs.

"Wise decision, Sasuke." With that, the perverted instructor went back to reading his smut even as the next group prepared to try and kill each other.

~o00o~

For the next two hours matches came and went, Naruto paying attention to a handful of them as his apprehension grew; with only six teams remaining to duke it out a second time, Teams Eight, Nine, Ten, and Iwa were all among them. His excitement peaked once an overpowered Gaara of _Team Baki_ easily captured every member of a frantically-dodging Ame's Team Shigure, the last of three Amegakure squads to make it to the finals.

Naruto was equally surprised that all three Genin walked away from the match once they surrendered.

As the smiling Gaara shoved a fresh biscuit in his mouth as a celebratory treat on the way out, Naruto's grin grew to match the equally unpleasant one spreading across Kurotsuchi's face; she'd be getting her chance, after all, it would seem.

Having been told by Tenten about Kakashi's threat to the greedy Uchiha bastard, Naruto figured he could cut loose just a bit this one time.

~o00o~

 _To Be Continued: Konoha Team Ten vs. Iwa Team Kurotsuchi_

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** You'd be surprised how much content is left just to get through this day. For those of you that tune in next time for the exciting matchup, you'll be pleasantly surprised (I hope).

 _Ja Ne!_

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Gen'ei Tajū Shuriken (Multiple Phantom Shuriken):** This Taki collaboration technique is very similar in both execution and result to the Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique. It is a cooperation ninjutsu where three users, after throwing shuriken at their target and forming the necessary hand seals, can create corporeal replicas of the shuriken — turning a small amount of shuriken to a large amount in an instant with which to bombard the enemy. Unlike the Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique, however, this technique makes no use of the Shadow Clone Technique. Hand seals are _Dog_ _Rabbit_ _Monkey_ _Clap Hands_.

~III~


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N:** I have tried to be more liberal about leaving clues in my stories to indicate what the main character is focusing on and this chapter has a HUGE Easter Egg in it. I am hoping that my regular reviewers can pick up on it before the end of the big showdown.

In any event, I have future plans for Mr. Uchiha. We came close to a breakthrough when he got dropped from the ANBU Initiate Program, but it was enough of a kick to get him headed in the right direction. There is still hope for him, however.

Okay, enough teasing. I know you've been waiting for the end of Team fights.

Enjoy as you will... _Round One! Ding! Ding!_

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 _ **Chapter 44:**_ _ **Dysfunctional Family Bonds (Conclusion)**_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Super Secret Akatsuki Base in Northern Hi no Kuni ~**

"Kisame? We do not have time for this childishness!"

There was an unnecessarily long pause...

"KISAME! Do _NOT_ make me start counting!"

"One." Angry red eyes swirled into the darkness that filled their cave entrance.

"Two!"

 _'I don't_ believe _this-.'_

"Twoooo-and-aaaaaaaaa-"

He could hear the childish shuffling of rather large feet right before the drooping shoulders of his partner came into view.

"I hope you're happy, Kisame. We've missed most of the first day and will need to be lucky tomorrow."

The large man didn't say a word, which was normally unusual for the boisterous swordsman. It was odd to see him meekly follow behind instead of fearlessly walking alongside his smaller but no less dangerous partner of the last decade-plus.

~III~

* * *

 _"The society that separates scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools."_

– Thucydides

~III~

* * *

~o00o~

 _Konoha Team Ten vs. Iwa Team Kurotsuchi_

"Plan Shika?"

Genma had given the teams ten minutes to fine-tune their strategy at a subtle nod from his Hokage. He knew that it was to allow the betting pool to get adjusted based on Team Ten's blitzkrieg style assault in their first match versus the Iwa team's heavy reliance on overpowering _Doton_ jutsu. While much of the chatter he was hearing in his earpiece was discussing their defensive forces adjusting to perceived enemy troop movements in preparation for the possible invasion tomorrow, a fair number were discussing the surprising strength of Asuma's Genin. Unfortunately, most of them attributed their brilliant success to the strong mind of the Nara on the squad despite Genma's clear view of their near liquid teamwork.

You didn't get that synched up by relying on one individual and Asuma's kids were damned good from what he saw making this match one of speed versus power.

Despite the gambling hype that won Konoha a good portion of the wins in taxes, it also served to drum up a little suspense for the crowd and Genma, if nothing else, had a bit of showman in him. Right now, the showman was eavesdropping on Team Ten's discussion since Iwa's team was too busy glaring to actually discuss anything.

In response, the Nara turned to the Uzumaki Daimyo. "Can you take her, Naruto?"

The slouching blond grunted out an uninterested affirmative as if he couldn't be bothered with the angry Iwa woman trying to set fire to his face with her eyes. _'I wonder if this is how the old man's paperwork feels?'_

"Can you two handle them?" he shot back, his eyebrows indicating the grim-faced male with the facial hair (Ittan) and the clean-shaven Zaji.

"We'll be fine so long as you can keep her off our backs," Shikamaru shot back.

Naruto spent several minutes locking eyes with the angry rockheaded female before grunting out a happy, "Done." He was surprised though when the same female decided to interact during the last four minutes of their break.

"Don't know what you're smiling about, trash! I'm going to enjoy slow-roasting you in front of your village. In front of the entire elemental _nations!_ " Kurotsuchi's hatred caught the attention of the entire stadium as people hurriedly returning to their seats grew silent so they could listen to a good trash-talking session. The fact that it was Iwa about to get (hopefully) rolled in Konoha's back yard would make it a pleasant surprise to the festival.

What they all heard was Naruto's immediate laughter as he slapped his thighs once his sudden bout of humor doubled him over.

Kurotsuchi clearly did not see the joke. "You find your imminent death funny, Leaf dog?!"

It took a second, but Naruto recovered enough to answer. "Ha!... ahem… no, I don't and… hehehehe… I get it, Iwa hates Konoha for what the Yondaime did to your worthless shinobi during the war and all that blahblahblah."

Despite the fact that most of Konoha hated the demon child, his casual disregard by and insulting of the disrespectful Iwa Kunoichi brought smiles to many of their faces. A few even appeared to be torn between hoping he killed the girl and sacrificing himself so that his team could still win the match. Maybe, if they were really lucky, both could happen?

Kurotsuchi's whole body tensed in rage as air started leaking from her mouth like a hissing tea kettle.

"But if anyone has a reason to hate someone on this miserable planet it would be me hating your miserable. Stinking. Guts." His laughter was gone as an unbelievable wave of _KI_ pushed across the ground forcing Kurotsuchi down to one knee as her teammates dropped to all fours. "So, shut up for a second while I explain something to you and, since we only have about two minutes left, I'll be brief."

Naruto flexed his chakra and the ground beneath his feet spiderwebbed impressively. Kurotsuchi dropped to all fours as her now worried grandfather shot to his feet high up in the audience.

Genma prepared to intervene sensing trace amounts of the bijū's chakra mixed in with the boy's _KI_ only to stand down at the Hokage's hand gesture.

"At the beginning of the Second Shinobi War, your _disgusting_ village," he glanced up to rake the Kage box with his now angry mask's red crystals representing his eyes – something that shocked a loudly protesting Ōnoki to silence, "pre-emptively invaded my home village of Uzushiogakure no Sato," his face swept back to the heavily sweating Iwa team, "because you cowards feared a village of four hundred and what we'd do if we helped Konoha during the upcoming war _you_ started."

The entire stadium was silent as a tomb as they listened with rapt attention.

"You gutless cowards tried to kill us all down to the last Uzumaki - man, woman, child, shinobi, kunoichi and civilian alike in the hopes that you'd be able to wipe us out but it looks like you failed even with the help of two of the worst traitors in our village's history, Gekido Terumī and his equally worthless son, Eito."

Mei flinched as her hopes imploded right before her rapidly blooming eyes. Her father never spoke of their original home and her young memories were sparse having devoted her life to her new home in Kiri, more so now as its Kage.

Gekido, surrounded by people he'd been annoying for almost an hour with his constant bragging over his beloved grandchild, sat back down fuming in his comfortable boxed section as the judgmental eyes of other VIPs settled onto his hunched shoulders. He couldn't interfere without ruining everything so it would be up to his flesh and blood to come through, if she could recover. In the disgruntled gaggle surrounding him, none seemed more hostile than the distinguished Yuki and Nadeshiko dignitaries boring holes between his obnoxious shoulderblades, a biting sting he could literally feel through his posh robes.

"Even as those shitbag traitors helped your army breach the island's defenses by weakening the whirlpools and opening hidden passages leading deep into the heart of the village they once swore to protect, your village _still_ failed and here I am! Since I can't make your beloved _grandfather_ pay for his treachery, I at least get to let him watch as I grind you to bloody paste while he stands by helplessly in the stands. For me, that's the next best thing."

~o00o~

There were a great many flinching faces both in the audience and watching across the nations. All of them beginning to realize that an Uzumaki, a true male member of the clan, still lived and that set multiple wheels in motion as greed and fear took root in their minds. Through it all, Ōnoki's eyes ballooned as he began to slowly connect the dots leading from his granddaughter to the hateful old man he should have killed over two decades ago instead of allowing him to marry into the Kamizuru Clan.

~o00o~

Without another word, Naruto turned his back on the groveling Iwa team and the oppressive aura forcing them to the ground vanished leaving three shaky bodies in its wake.

Genma gave them a few extra minutes to regain their composure before starting the match while a shell-shocked Ōnoki tried to signal his still raging granddaughter, once she stopped shaking, to forfeit the match, all to no avail. The showman was preparing to kick off the grudge match of the century, his anticipatory grin nearly costing him a fresh senbon.

~o00o~

From his seat in the diplomatic boxes, Gekido was gnashing his teeth willing his stupid brother-in-law not to ruin all of his planning. They had a good chance, damnit, perhaps their only chance and his cowardice was about to ruin it for them all!

In the Kage box, a blustering Tsuchikage was about to withdraw his final team while trying to make it seem like his Genin didn't need the exams in question or seem like he was running away, which he was.

"You are mistaken, Tsuchikage-dono," Hiruzen's overly sweet smile showing his enjoyment of the whole situation. "I'm not trying to stop you at all."

Ōnoki cast one last glance at his rival's smug face before rising to approach the railing so he could signal down to the scathing face of his flesh and blood he was about to betray. He even managed to raise his right arm before the Hokage's voice stopped him mid-motion.

"In fact, my village thanks you for your strategic retreat and the extra business we're about to gain as a result of it."

Ōnoki froze as the conniving section of his mind began tumbling. Hiruzen thanking him for anything meant horrible consequences for Iwa, at a minimum and that familiar chill as the Reaper's scythe passed over his shadow froze him in place.

"I'm sure your Daimyo will understand completely."

The Fence-Sitter wheeled around. "You will not guilt me into this folly!"

Hiruzen could tell he was desperate to save his kin below, spittle flying everywhere with his tomato-colored skin. "I'm not guilting you into anything, however, I will expect you to depart my village before nightfall." He enjoyed Ōnoki's stuttering blink.

" _W-W-W-What?!"_

"With my security tied up in supporting this event, I'll need to enforce the standard twelve-hour hospitality rules per the Exam charter and, since your Genin team will have suffered no injuries, your entire entourage will be escorted from the city in accordance with charter rules. I'm sure you understand."

Well, that settled it right there. Ōnoki knew that, if nothing else, his sudden withdrawal from the exams right before a decisive match followed by their hurried departure would send a clear message to the entire world, one his Daimyo watching from the stadium's Royalty Box would demand his immediate stepdown (if not his highly ritualistic and extremely public suicide) as a result for displaying "blatant" cowardice before the enemy.

And Konoha was still very much their enemy.

He glanced back to the evil glint showing in his nemesis' eyes knowing he'd been boxed into a corner, one of his own making. Even as he glanced about to the vulture-like stares of his peers, he knew there would be no mercy on the far end of this mess; if his own Daimyo didn't get him, the other villages would – over time. Iwa was still a heavily defended mountain fortress but would his own shinobi respect and support him after this? Would the other four even need to challenge the impenetrable walls of Iwagakure?

If you lived in a box no matter how elaborate or adorned, all anyone needed to do in order to starve you out is close the lid.

His eyes flicked up towards his honor guard and their hard glares, even in the unflinching eyes of Akatsuchi, told the story of his own intractable nature rising up in the faces of his own shinobi to bite him in the ass. No, if he fled Konoha in disgrace he would lose it all. That would be his reality and Konoha would not have had to fire a single jutsu or have lost a single nin to earn the win.

' _A bloodless coup. Well played my nemesis.'_

With a final glance back to the arena floor where Kurotsuchi awaited his decision, a broken Ōnoki returned to his elevated seat and dreaded the match's start with one final surge of hatred to the old man sitting below and to his left side in the comfy seats of the diplomatic section.

~o00o~

"Alright, bring it in." Genma waited for both teams to assume their places, his eyes flickering left to right as he observed both squads. "Same rules apply. If I call the match, it's over!" He reinforced his order with a hard stare at the Iwa Kunoichi and his favorite knucklehead, the latter of which grunted that he understood.

"As a reminder, if you disobey me, I am authorized up to deadly force."

This time she nodded back. She may not fear the blond but the proctor could take her out without much difficulty.

"Alright gang, let's do this!" His amplified voice drew a thundering roar from the stands as a bunch of anxious clan members and guests in a certain Uzumaki Clan Estate nervously chomped on rapidly vanishing bowls of popcorn and dango.

"Is Iwa ready?" Genma turned to receive her firm nod and the noise in the stadium died down almost immediately.

"Is Konoha ready?" Shika glanced to Naruto who simply nodded in return, his hands held calmly to his sides.

Genma smiled as he dragged out the seconds, the air literally thrumming with electricity…

" _Hajime!_ " With that thunderous roar, he leaped from the stadium floor to the nearest wall as Kurotsuchi of Iwa and Naruto of Konoha shot away from their teams parallel to each other, both sets of hands moving through seals as they did so. Much to Kurotsuchi's dismay, she realized too late that her opponent was using two different sets of single-handed seals and she suddenly felt less confident in the outcome.

~o00o~

Ino immediately bolted in the opposite direction as her right hand darted forward three times in rapid succession. Her clean-shaven opponent clearly disliked the shuriken her flighty fingers whisked his way grumbling about "worthless Leaf bitches" before giving chase, his eyes narrowing as he easily guessed her destination. Given the battlefield layout, there wasn't anything else of note where she was headed.

The arena had been landscaped to accommodate as many of the elemental affinities as it could. At one end of the oval-shaped stadium floor directly behind the Iwa team, a small copse of trees in one corner stood opposite another mound of rocks. Ino was headed away from the Iwa squad and to the other end of the floor – right towards the shallow pond that occupied the far end of the oval and Zaji just couldn't allow that assuming she had a water affinity. He was only partly right.

Ino was actually a primary _Doton_ user with a weak _Suiton_ affinity to buffer it. Her clan's cerebral jutsu taught her to use _Yin_ _Release_ but she wasn't adept enough to use that in an advancement exam and she wasn't crazy enough to go against what she perceived to be an experienced _Doton_ user in his own element. Her previous training with "Naruto's Ninjutsu Bootcamp" had been a huge help but she still had a long way to go before she'd be a credible combat threat.

That didn't mean she was helpless.

Zaji knelt down to lightly trace his fingers along the ground, his hand sucking up the hard-packed earth turning his now clenched fist into a massive ball of stone. Just as his opponent closed in on the pond, he surged a bunch of chakra to his lower spine and sprinted forward in a burst of energy.

Ino's ability to pick up that surge of chakra saved her life as she seallessly substituted with a log. _'Thank Naruto for countless hours of mindless repetition.'_

With the crowd's shocked gasp, the poor wooden distraction exploded in a shower of wooden particles with a violent cracking sound, Ino's slightly surprised glance over her shoulder showing her that Iwa intended to play for keeps across the board. Undaunted, she pushed on seeing that her replacement produced enough of a headstart that her opponent would have to hustle now if he truly wanted to block her from the pool. Either way, she'd succeeded in pulling him away from his team which he'd finally noticed, the brown-haired Genin turning backwards as if deciding whether or not to return and gang up on one of the other Konoha nin.

Ino just couldn't allow that so she decided to regain his attention. Molding a bit of chakra into her mouth, Ino's sultry pink lips puckered up right before, " _Ptui!_ "

Many folks in the stand not of the shinobi or kunoichi persuasion grimaced at the delicate beauty apparently chucking a serious loogie across the arena at her partially unaware opponent. The nin crowd, recognizing the D-ranked [ _ **Suiton: Mouth Shot**_ ] technique for what it was, saw another freakishly talented Konoha Genin already engaged in elemental chakra manipulation raising appreciative eyebrows at the entry-level application and deciding to take the young lady a bit more seriously.

No matter which side observers fell on, it drew Zaji's attention as he lifted his rock-covered fist to block the water senbon rather that it chipped off a small chunk of his earth manipulation in lieu of causing him direct pain. With his attention fully returned to his opponent, he seemed to have decided a course of action as he once again sought to close the distance, his eyes narrowing as the young lady crouched in her running to stream two fingers along the still water's surface.

What he didn't like was when she stood up and a glistening trail of the annoying stuff followed her with the crack of a whip once she snapped it.

~o00o~

"Genin using elemental jutsus?!" By this time, Ōnoki's incredulity – and hypocrisy - was beginning to wear thin.

Hiruzen glanced over to the distraught Tsuchikage with one raised eyebrow sarcastically. "This coming from the man with an entire team capable of such, as well as their leader being an accomplished Kekkei Genkai holder for the Lava Release?"

Ōnoki grumbled futilely as his stumpy arms crossed against his chest.

~o00o~

Kurotsuchi rattled off her final _Rat_ hand seal, the earth erupting as jagged spear after jagged spear shot from the rocky earth to impale her already evasive target to no avail. Cursing to herself in her rush to end the fight, she began skirting the edge of her own obstacle course searching for signs of death, dismemberment, or pain in her hated Uzumaki foe as a flash of yellow caught her attention off to her left.

It was instinct alone after the ground shattering eruption of her last jutsu that allowed her to dodge the cluster of Kunai whizzing past her head, her confidence growing as she knew, she just _knew_ in her soul, that she had the edge over this pompous pretender. That lasted up until another flash of gold much closer than the previous one darted across her vision only to her right this time.

She snapped up her forearms into a cross block as _Doton_ chakra surged through her limbs. From the feel of the steel girder that struck her guard, it was none too soon. There was a wicked-sounding _CRACK_ that rang out, Kurotsuchi grateful that the chakra burning bright enough to bring a bluish tinge to her arms absorbed the strike even if her forearms went momentarily numb with the effort.

Her teeth ground together as she sucked in huge amounts of air to prevent the barrage of swearing she wanted to release. _'Kuso! He hits like a bull!'_ She hopped away to open up space as her fingertips started tingling painfully but the blond wasn't going to give her a break without some incentive. He was the better melee fighter with the raw strength to overpower her and that made her current situation untenable.

She ducked the next roundhouse knowing her arms couldn't withstand another blow, her numb fingers fumbling with a kunai as she sought to leap away. _'Shiiiiiiiiiit! Should have paid better attention when Tsuchikage-Jiji tried to teach me that stupid flying jutsu of his!'_ She rolled to the side as her annoying opponent's ax-drop shattered the stone where she once stood.

Molding a larger glob of chakra than she needed when her hands worked, Kurotsuchi stomped the ground hard with a cry of [ _ **Earth Release: Rock Shelter**_ ], her chakra flushing into the hard-packed earth at her feet causing a dome of earth to surge up surrounding her completely. Safe inside, she began hissing and cursing as her fingers flexed and shook to help speed up their recovery. Things were definitely not going as she thought they would.

"Taijutsu is out of the question, _kuso! Kuso! KUSO!_ "

~o00o~

Outside of the dome, Naruto frowned while sending his own chakra into the earth to probe her defenses. It didn't take long to determine he could overpower her dome, but it was always easier to defend than attack and he'd be the one to pay for it in chakra. No, that wouldn't work when he had a much easier solution to the problem. He smiled as a single Shadow Clone manifested, smiled back at him, then sank into the ground without a word.

~o00o~

For all his bluster, the boy was a close-ranged combatant so all she needed to do was- _GAAAHHHHH!_

Her right leg seized up along its entire length, the muscles spasming painfully right before another jolt of flesh-searing agony shot up the length of her right arm as her injured leg gave out sending the nearly helpless kunoichi to the ground. Needless to say, she lost her concentration on the defensive dome, which collapsed back into the ground without a trace. The world tumbled as the earth she used to take such comfort in rose up to rattle her already gnashing teeth with its hard embrace.

The clone standing over her with a snarl on his face vanished in a violent burst of smoke; she was too busy swearing and focusing on her limbs to realize she had company inside the dome. Through force of will alone she pried open an eye to see another blond bastard looking down on her, his insufferable smile nowhere to be seen.

No, those were the eyes of a killer looking at his latest prey and, despite her anger and frustration, Kurotsuchi felt the first pangs of fear as she scrambled behind one of her own Rock Spears with a dead leg and arm apiece.

~o00o~

Ittan felt his first surge of worry at Kurotsuchi's cry of pain. It was unrestrained and raw, so very much unlike his passionate yet reserved squad leader. It was enough that he nearly forgot himself.

His left foot took a hurried pace in that direction before his body tensed and he paused, his keen gaze shifting from the falling form of his teammate back to the equally sharp gaze of the Konoha Genin he was supposed to be waging war with, if you were to take their Hokage's words at face value. The boy with the oddly shaped hairstyle hadn't moved from their initial standoff making his apparent lack of interest all the more confusing.

 _Should he race off to help her?_ His near-total loss of focus didn't seem to faze the boy, his hands neither moving to draw a weapon or release a jutsu. Knowing deception to be key among nin from every village, could he risk exposing his back to an enemy to save a squadmate apparently on the cusp of either grievous injury or death? Shooting his eyes back and forth between the clearly unphased Leaf nin and his convulsing fellow Genin, Ittan bared his own teeth as indecision won out over impulse, his shoulders squaring up as his hands came together to execute the strongest jutsu he knew in the hopes that he would be in time to save her. This would break his bank of chakra for the fight and leave him little more than E and D-ranked jutsu but risks were needed; if not for the team, for the village and, as this fight was perhaps their most important to date, Kurotsuchi's ability to win the fight mattered for Iwa's honor.

The moment his palms struck the hard earth at his own feet there was an enormous shudder that rippled out from the center of the stadium floor vibrating the bones of every observer in the stadium. Ittan could feel his chakra rushing through his arms to saturate the hard-packed floor, the element greedily sucking his life's energy leaving him shivering with warmth-sucking drain. Still, he pushed on.

As he expected, a perfectly square burst of air twenty meters in diameter shot up from the stadium floor centered on his location. In the time it took for his steely-eyed opponent to raise a single eyebrow, his first reaction of the bout, the earth around both as-of-yet fighters fell away as everything within that geological release receded into the ground like an elevator. Five meters, ten, fifteen, twenty, it finally stopped plummeting at roughly thirty meters, its now huffing executor wiping away the sheen of sweat from his brow.

When Ittan's eyes refocused, his body trying to stave off the wave of dizziness normally accompanying such a rapid depletion of his reserves, he noted with some satisfaction his opponent's less casual stance as evident by the _Rat_ seal held before the shinobi's chest.

"Kagemane no Jutsu, success!"

Ittan blinked in shock as his body seized in imitation of his opponent's pose, his mind sluggishly connecting the dots in his chakra depleted haze. He knew his opponent was a Nara. According to their threat brief, the Nara clan was noted for two distinguishing traits – their unfairly large brains and their – _Mother-!_

"I should thank you."

Ittan blinked again despite not being able to control his own limbs. This normally wouldn't be much of an issue since his opponent wasn't too keen on exerting himself from the looks of it, however, he had been halfway through molding enough chakra to execute his second jutsu, the _Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu_ , hence leading to the second half of his plan to escape while leaving this guy stranded at the bottom of this pit; with his chakra flooding the walls of his _Moving Earth Core_ trap, it would delay the Leaf nin enough for him to help Kuro crush the blond.

None of that apparently mattered if he couldn't move to do so as his eyes flickered about to notice the shadow linking his to the Nara staring back unimpressed with his Iwa opponent. With nothing better to do than hold a conversation with his unaffected mouth, Ittan decided to delay his opponent hoping the boy's jutsu would weaken.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to exert myself too much to detain you, but this works out." The boy's voice sounded almost uncaring as if he couldn't be bothered to care if his team won or lost.

Ittan noticed as his right arm began to move on its own, his fingers jerkily removing a kunai from his thigh holster. Glancing up to observe his opposite's actions, fear began to clutch at his heart seeing a similar holster on the Nara's opposite leg and his opponent's empty right hand holding a non-existent weapon.

"You'll have to forgive me, but I can't let you leave to help her. Sorry."

Ittan's mouth opened to release a blood-curdling scream as his traitorous right hand jammed his own kunai into the meaty part of his right thigh, the blade glancing off the heavy bone therein. Oddly enough, he couldn't move his body at all or even collapse to the earth in pain as his arm jerked the blade out again and transferred the bloody weapon to his other hand.

Breathing heavily in pain and dizziness, he watched in horror as his left hand descended towards his other undefended thigh with the same unforgiving determination.

~o00o~

Anko, happily sipping on the free dango and sake provided by her almost-an-Uzumaki hostess flinched at the ruthless cruelty of the Uzu-gaki's teammate. "Damn, didn't think the Nara had it in him."

Keina chuckled from her lounger thinking the next few days would prove very entertaining indeed before her mind recalled something important enough to draw her attention away from the large screen.

"Kimi-chan," she called out as the reclining kunoichi paused in her snack enjoyment to swivel her admittedly pretty face around to focus on the new Uzukage. "Were you able to place our bets as I asked?"

"Hai, Kage-sama." Wiping buttery fingers on her darker trouser leg, she reached into the pocket just behind her tabard-style outer garment to withdraw five ticket stubs which brought an eager smile to the beautiful redhead's mouth.

"Very good! Make sure you take Ishi and Umi with you when you have to go collect our clan's winnings for the day."

All three nodded eagerly.

~o00o~

The rumbling ground from Ittan's jutsu gave Kurotsuchi the distraction she needed to mold enough chakra allowing her to barely crawl away into the earth. Both her leg and arm were still spasming painfully making rapid movement difficult. Trying to grunt out the pain while underground wasn't advised either so her short trip ended much shorter than it normally would. The good news was she'd abruptly crawled in a different direction and she was now tucked in underneath a large spear blocking him from her view.

' _Curse that bastard!'_ Raiton was her one true weakness and his jutsu was debilitating, to say the least. She fought to keep her gasp of air to a whisper praying to the Stonemother that he wasn't a sensor as well.

She needed time to recover. Molding chakra throughout her body seemed to help lessen the painful effects of whatever it was the blond bastard hit her with and she needed time to assess her next strategy. Painfully flexing the fingers of her right hand, Kurotsuchi cast a nervous scan of the arena taking note of the blonde bitch's use of a water whip against Zaji and noticed the last two were nowhere to be seen, which meant that was one less problem for her at the moment.

Losing was not an option. It was bad enough she'd gotten careless allowing him to get the drop on her. As it stood, she'd waste time trying to figure out that little party trick while the fire in her body slowly ebbed away – perhaps a clone?

"I thought you were going to burn me alive? Isn't that what you were bragging about at the start of this?"

' _Shit! He's closer than I thought!'_ Kurotsuchi could only grit her teeth as her right arm convulsed painfully, her right leg laying across the ground like a dead lump of flesh. _'Lampades. Please! I need you right now!'_

Kuro's head twitched to look over her right shoulder as she used her left arm to drag her body until her sweaty back sat flush against another nearby spear of rock.

' _ **Oh? I thought you were strong enough not to need me, hatchling?'**_

Kuro sighed internally. She definitely didn't have time for this and dealing with the moody reptile was always a tricky thing. She was running out of time; the blond bastard wasn't all that far away from the sound of his voice.

 _'Please, Lampades! He's a tricky bastard and I need time to recover from his attack. I can handle the rest, but I need you to delay him for me. Do this for me and Grandpa will shower you with treasure and praise!'_ She was getting desperate as one of the spears she'd hidden behind crumbled under a heavy blow of some sort. Kurotsuchi nervously bit her lip as the great summons appeared to deliberate whether or not she could be bothered to save her crippled host.

' _ **Very well. This once I will delay him for you.'**_ Kurotsuchi's relief was palpable as her still working hand reached up to pull down the collar of her blouse to reveal the red ink of a draconic head peeking over her right shoulder. _**'However, you should know that I am judging all that you do today, hatchling.'**_

Despite her bravado, Kurotsuchi gulped realizing her worth as a future summoner was on the line. Hoping to force her own recovery, she began battle crawling away while recycling chakra through her affected limbs rejoicing silently at the tingling sensation in the toes of her still paralyzed right leg.

Then an enormous wave of crimson ink flowed from her body, the draining chill indicating the serpents withdrawal from her chakra network to begin pooling in between the many earth piercings of her early jutsu, the blood-red liquid raising up to the full height of a mature fire-based _Umihebi_. Kurotsuchi's pained grimace took on a relieved smirk as the near one-hundred- and twenty-meter sea serpent took solid form then split the heavens with an ear-shattering roar.

Then its flaming head rotated downward allowing the creature's burning orbs to lock onto a patiently-waiting pair of sea blue ones.

~o00o~

Mei immediately recognized the massive summons rearing up behind the stalagmite field as it zeroed in on the Konoha Genin standing unperturbed before it. How could she not?

Her father, shortly after her family fled to the Land of Water, seemed to collapse in on himself but would never explain why. Much to her eternal frustration neither would anyone else in her family, so the mystery surrounded his endless sorrow continued to grow as the years faded away. He refused to serve in the Kiri armed forces instead moving them out to one of the outlier islands shunning all interaction with "the main islanders" as he referred to them.

She could see the hate behind his eyes when he looked on Kiri shinobi but never could understand why he brought them to the water-bound nation if he felt that way. Instead, the once-loyal daughter grew up to pity her father before later growing to despise his hypocrisy.

Bearing the fiery nature everyone in her family embodied, Mei had a hard time reconciling the once vibrant man she once knew as her father with the brooding recluse he'd become. Gone were the long afternoons of training she'd once engaged in with him as he sequestered himself in the family garden, an easel and paint palette his only companion for many an afternoon.

Oh, he did the necessary work to keep his family fed and clothed but it was not the life of a once-proud shinobi more often than not limiting himself to simple tasks of gathering wood, hunting game, and fishing off the shores of their tropical island home. He was almost… domesticated.

It would be a much-disillusioned Mei that returned home long after her graduation from the Kiri academy in order to attend the somber ceremony for her departed father; he'd severed all ties to her the day she announced her intention to serve Kiri claiming she wanted to make him proud. It would be a much-confused Mei listening to her mother discuss the broken man that was her deceased father as she walked her through Eito's (Tou-sama was the first to get dropped from her vocabulary once she was in the bloody academy) studio while regaling her with tales from their Uzu homeland.

It was a still shocked Mizukage looking down upon the majestic summons she clearly remembered from her father's carefully preserved artwork she kept under lock and key in her Kiri-based quarters. Then she began recalling the stories her mother shared of the shattered shell of a man that tried to fight the shame of his exiled life, to include the painful breaking of his summoning contract with powerful beasts similar to the one below once the truth of why they had to flee was revealed to her by the angry Genin in the stadium below.

Surely, he was wrong. _The boy had to be wrong!_

Despite her initial umbrage at what she believed to be baseless slander and insults from an uninformed child, her keen mind began to connect the long series of dots that made up her life…

~o00o~

"Now that's a powerful summons," A commented with an appreciative whistle between clenched teeth.

The comment drew Ōnoki's smug grin as he turned with some appropriately witty remark only for his bravado to fall flat once he caught Hiruzen's calm smile. It was too calm for someone that should be ignorant of the _Umihebi_ , something that got his overactive mind into a full-on mental sprint. Either Konoha's spies were better than he gave them credit for or-.

The vertically-challenged leader's eyes ballooned comically as his head whipped around to focus on the still-calm Konoha Genin as his stomach plummeted to the soles of his feet. _'Oh, merciful Earth goddess…'_

~o00o~

Gekido, despite the angry shouts of people behind him ordering him to once again be seated or get tossed out, rose to his feet in triumph. This was the moment he'd been waiting patiently for after all. Hands clenched in victory, his manic eyes stayed fixed on the powerful entity he fully expected to deliver him karmic justice upon the last symbol of his clan's foolish oppression of his dreams.

He could almost taste the salty air of his homeland once again.

~o00o~

Zaji lifted his face from the dirt shortly after the great serpent's roar silenced the entire stadium and laughed. Even though he was laying on his stomach effectively hog-tied with his hands bound to his feet, he laughed knowing he'd fulfilled his role perfectly.

Zaji wasn't the most skilled _Doton_ user in the Rock but he wasn't brought here to be a powerhouse. He was brought to support Kurotsuchi knowing she'd be moving on after this to take her place alongside Akatsuchi as the Mizukage's bodyguard. Her position of importance would only continue to skyrocket but he was okay with that – Iwa's philosophy was "Village Over All" for a reason and her advancement helped the village as she was to be groomed to take the old rock's place later on.

Being able to watch her smash the Yellow Bastard's illegitimate son was just the cherry atop the sundae for him.

He ignored the heavy-handed smack to the back of his head with an annoyed "tch."

"Just face it! Your sad sack of a boyfriend is about to become barbeque and there isn't squat you can do about it!" He grunted being on the receiving end of another blow, this time with chakra-enhanced knuckles, to the back of his noggin.

This time he kept quiet.

"Oh, I'm not worried about your friend's fire-breathing iguana. I just want you to shut up enough so I can hear what comes next." Placing her foot in the middle of his back to add a little pressure, the girl motioned towards the soon to be dead blond and smirked. "Now pay attention or you might miss something good."

Now that shocked Zaji and the look on his face as his head rotated around to glare up in obvious confusion at his blonde tormentor said as much. _'Are all Leaf nin certifiably nuckin'-futs?'_

~o00o~

Without any outward fear, Naruto calmly wove his through the rock garden until he stood right before the large serpent eyeing him. He was vaguely aware of the absolute stillness of the crowd as every eye followed him but he was more focused on the calmly blinking inner eyelids of the scintillating mass of scales close enough to smash him to a bloody pulp and he didn't stop until he stood right under its enormous maw.

"Get out of there you _ignoramus_!"

' _Funny but that sounded like Kiba.'_

Naruto chuckled softly at the comedy and irony of being insulted by his class's true dead last, a sliver of humor mirroring itself in the eyes of the mighty summons close enough for him to dash forward and touch. Then he deliberately raised his hands to begin a twenty-pattern series of hand seals that drew a shuddering gasp from the audience, his motions slow enough to represent a leisurely stroll through a park in its sense of urgency.

He also ignored the growing outcries of disbelief and caution, the crowd increasingly urging him to distance himself from the summons (even with an equal number urging the beast to devour him and save the village).

Neither happened. Instead, the impressive creature lowered its head until its beaked muzzle hovered just before the growing mass of chakra pooling in the Genin's hands and Gekido, standing stock still in the stands, suddenly knew concern.

"Lampades?" Kurotsuchi's confused call as the girl unsteadily regained her feet went unanswered. "Lampades? What are you doing?!"

One massive eye cracked open to meet her confused stare. **"I am delaying him child, just as you asked."**

Somehow the creature's voice tinkling lightly with mirth did not relax her, the half hobbling-half hopping kunoichi suddenly finding the need to close the distance and stop the blond bastard's hand seals at all costs. She reached for chakra to mold it into a weapon, any weapon, only for it to fail with one of her residual spasms.

Cursing scathingly into the arena air, she precariously bent over to heft a healthy-sized chunk of stone she could throw with her unaffected left hand rising in time to see her opponent's palms touch the beak of her summons and she knew she was too late.

"I release you. By the power vested in me as the Walker, I set you free from the tyrannical bonds that have held you captive over the years."

"NOOOOooooooooooooooo!" Gekido's roar as he drew a kunai in the wake of his fading bond drew more than a few inquisitive eyes his way.

"Return home to the clan that cherishes you." Naruto smiled as the energy in his palms rippled through the serpent's body like a golden wave of light, the large creature's body shivering before both eyes opened to take in the new leader of the clan.

" **Service unto death, Walker."**

Naruto chuckled. "I require no such sacrifice, Lampades, but welcome home all the same."

With one great bow of its scaled head, the former exile released in a billowing cloud of chakra energy. She needed to gather her siblings and make their way back to the Grotto where they belonged.

Kurotsuchi chucked the hunk of rock at his head in a fit of rage only to see the blond's left hand rise up to catch and crush it in his fingers.

"Oh, I haven't forgotten about you, young lady." The masked Genin's face turned to regard his furious opponent. "It's time we ended this, don't you think?"

Turning to square up with the still-confused looking Genin from Iwa, Naruto only managed to take a step in her direction before a tar-like cloud of ash slammed into his back congealing into a small mound of pudding-consistency sludge.

"Grandfather! What are you doing?!" Kurotsuchi's eyes were focused just behind him, most likely on her approaching relative.

"I'm doing what you are clearly incapable of!" the white-maned Terumī hissed. "I will not be denied the chance to die amongst my clan! _My home!_ " The old man was surprisingly spry as he darted forward to shove the business end of a kunai into the orbital socket of the blond shinobi trapped in his _Ash Stone Seal_ technique.

Silence reigned momentarily in the stadium before the occasional cheer erupted in small pockets of the watching audience. He could care less about the ramifications for his actions today. He'd won. After decades of shame and exile, he'd finally triumphed over the detractors of his blind clan and came out on top. Who needed Iwa to solve his problems? To solve a clan issue, you needed a strong clan member and the Terumī were going to finally have their moment in the sun.

Gekido released a shuddering sigh allowing himself to relax just a bit right before there was a minor explosion from the trapped Genin he'd just brutally murdered before five ruling Kage and their associated Daimyo. Not like he cared for their complaints now even with the nagging feeling that Genin weren't supposed to pop like balloons.

"Yeah, that would have sucked if I'd been caught in that."

A suddenly very shocked Gekido spun about fast enough to force his beard out like a flag as he looked into the narrowed eyes of the same blond pest standing calmly not ten paces away with his arms folded casually across his chest.

"By the way, thanks for making it possible to free Lampades, her sibling Wadjet, and their Guardian, Kagayaki. Appreciate that."

Right about the time Gekido's face crumpled up in a fit of rage, four masked shinobi surrounded him with weapons drawn forcing him to second guess his next move. In his prime, he'd once been a contender for Uzukage but now…

"Iwa's Team Kurotsuchi forfeits due to outside interference." Genma's amplified voice echoed off the stadium's walls.

"WHAT?! _Nooooooooooo!_ " Kurostuchi began to fly through handseals before a blur rushed behind her and darkness took her vision.

With a heavy sigh, the former Uzumaki branch head lifted his hands above his head in surrender as the four figures converged to take him away.

" _Winner!_ Konoha's Team Ten." Genma paused right before, "There will be a ten-minute break while we terraform the stadium and recover the trapped contestants below."

~o00o~

In the Kage Booth, a very pleased Hiruzen turned to his surprisingly-relieved peer from the Land of Stone with his usual charming smile. "It would appear you'll get to spend the evening here after all, Tsuchikage-dono, at least until your wounded are clear to travel."

With a modest grunt of acknowledgment, the diminutive leader excused himself to check on his soldiers happy to be leaving with his flesh and blood still healthy. Not so surprising was his willingness to leave the troublesome Gekido behind to twist in the wind.

Kurotsuchi would eventually learn to forgive him. Someday.

~o00o~

Team Ten reached the observation deck to the muted accolades of a partially-hostile crowd and the grinding molars of the vaunted Uchiha scion.

"Careful you moody bastard. Your inner ugly is starting to show," Naruto roguishly taunted.

Despite the one-eyed perv sitting right behind him, it was the heavy palm of the Akimichi that returned the half-risen Sasuke to his seat.

"Nice match guys," Chouji replied, a half-eaten bar in his other hand.

Keeping to the script, Naruto nodded his thanks and kept moving to stand against the far wall of the mostly-cleared observation deck to standoff alone. With an almost casual glance to make sure he was in clear view of the personal boxes next to the Kage perch, he rested his body atop the handrail and began idly bopping his head to a rhythm only he could hear, his fingers tapping along merrily on the hard metal.

~o00o~

Hiashi Hyūga sat as a true Hyūga was supposed to sit when out among the common rabble. With his back straight, chin held high, and eyes the picture of perfect disinterest, he was the model aristocrat among his lesser contemporaries. At least he appeared thusly among the mixed throng enjoying the carnage of the exams.

Next to him sat his beloved daughter, the next heir to the Hyūga fortune, herself a mirror image of disdain and aloofness surrounded by the elders of her clan as they spread out with their families in the reserved Hyūga box. Of course, she had every reason to hold herself in such esteem as her clan remained the premiere family among Konoha's elite houses.

She was entitled to her feelings of superiority even as she glared with proper disdain at the overly emotional Uzumaki settling in among the remaining contestants. For now, she could spare proper disapproval as she held plenty in reserve for her sister yet to take the field for the second time.

"Father," she began only to receive her father's raised palm indicating he needed a minute to focus on something. Being the proper elite child that she was, Hanabi Hyūga stifled her inquisitive nature and waited, as was proper, wondering all the while what held her father's furious focus so admirably.

Hiashi, however, was doing his dead-level best to appear uninterested in whatever held him mesmerized. His laser-focused attention just happened to be aided by the minute stream of chakra he'd been pushing to his eyes to aid in his suspect pursuits with the sole intention of keeping anyone from suspecting his true intentions.

Little known fact that the Hyūga were more than capable of enhancing their eyesight without manifesting their famed dōjutsu or its telltale bulging ocular veins. How do you think they learned to manifest it in the first place? They did so by channeling steadily increasing amounts of chakra to the optic nerves forcing their clan's most telling trait to manifest itself over time and dedication, which often took months. In that time, they learned to enhance their vision much like any other nin learned to do, a trait their skilled eyes took greater advantage of due to the unique ocular nature of their famous peepers.

A trait he was using at that moment to decipher a cleverly hidden code buried deep in the subtle tapping of a certain blond shinobi his daughter previously reached out to in order to free her from the greedy curse of her elders.

' _A dash, followed by four pulses…T…H…E… seven-beat to indicate a space between words…'_ The older nin was impressed by the cipher nestled deep within the melody and smiled as the second word began to make itself clear to him. If his daughter hadn't slipped him the key during his final "admonishment" not to embarrass the clan the night before, Hiashi had to admit even he'd have a challenging time breaking the message not because of its complexity but because of the simple way he'd buried it within the song he was apparently humming along to.

Without the melody to obtain the base pattern, you'd have a much tougher time cracking the message hidden within.

' _The child is gifted, clever even,'_ he thought even as he fought to bury the relieved smile that wanted to break his iron demeanor. He was a Hyūga, however, and such a lapse in public could never be allowed.

' _The Eyes Lie.'_ It was one of two possible messages he could receive prior to the agreed-upon matchup, an idea that originally drew upon every protective fatherly impulse he'd managed to hide from his snobbish clan since his gentle daughter began disappointing them in her daily taijutsu practice.

' _To hell with them all! He'd do whatever it took to protect her, even if it meant losing her forever.'_

It meant that their backup plan in case the Daimyo denied their request was moving forward. Almost imperceptibly the stoic clan leader relaxed his shoulders before turning to address his second daughter.

"Is there something you wished to ask me, Hanabi?"

"Hai, Tou-sama." She pointed to the abysmally unprofessional blond bopping to an invisible melody. "Who is that… _person_?"

Despite her snobbish tone, Hiashi was far to joyous inside to reprimand her for he knew his eldest would be okay. He had to believe. "He, Hanabi dear, is the next Daimyo for one of Konoha's oldest allies, Uzu no Kuni."

The small female snorted, and the undignified action actually upturned the far corner of Hiashi's mouth. _'It might not be too late for her after all.'_

"He certainly does not comport himself as a ruler should," she returned with shock and disdain written across her smooth features.

Hiashi merely turned back to take one last look at Konoha's greatest prankster and smiled this time much to his daughter's surprise. "No, he most certainly does not and I for one am eternally grateful for it."

Genma Shiranui chose that moment to draw them both back to the final match of the day.

~o00o~

 _Konoha's Team Guy vs. Konoha's Team Eight_

"Ah, thanks for your patience honored guests." Genma checked that status of the combat area as the stadium began to quiet down while folks began to file back in from the exterior concessions area.

"We'll begin the final match of the day between Konoha's Team Guy and Konoha's Team Eight. If you would all take your seats while those teams make their way to the floor, we'll begin in three minutes."

It didn't take long for the buzz in the air to build back up. Another powerful team from Konoha built around a powerful prodigy was taking the stage once again, this time the herald of a widely-believed feud between the branch and main branches of the village's mightiest clan.

As expected by everyone waiting anxiously for the startup, the air began to charge with a feeling of expectation and drama. The mob always loved a good drama.

Before anyone knew it, both teams were faced off opposite of each other, the angry Neji trying to bury a surprisingly calm Hinata with just his eyes.

"I shouldn't need to repeat the rules again, but something tells me I'd better do it just in case." The normally casual Jounin seemed particularly focused on the Hyūga prodigy of Team Guy.

Up in the observation box, Naruto's eyes locked onto the bluenette flexing her fingers to help blood and chakra circulation through her digits.

"This isn't a good idea," a lazy voice interjected to his right.

"When is trying to kill each other for a stupid promotion ever a good idea?" Naruto seemed almost unaffected by the sight of a woman that he was supposed to care about getting ready to do battle with a cousin that hated her guts for the most asinine of reasons.

For some reason that really bothered Shikamaru, but he was out of time for more complaining.

"Hajime!" they both heard from below and both teams blurred into action, the emerald whirlwind intercepting the dog-nin as the weapon-flinging kunoichi of Team Guy kept the stoic bug-nin out of reach of his teammate. It would seem that the heavy combat squad belonging to the Beautiful Green Beast of Prey had their marching orders much to an increasingly worried bank of senseis looking on with deep concern.

Naruto noticed even Kakashi had hidden away his little orange addiction and was paying close attention to the melee below.

"Aren't you worried even the tiniest bit?" The clearly annoyed Nara asked only to receive silence in return, which annoyed him further. A quick glance below showed that the clan female was giving it her all despite her all not being enough to keep up with the focused branch member.

"Look, I don't care if you're still angry with us, but this should worry you just the-."

" _Hakke Rokujūyon Shō!"_

Neji's technique was a triumphant roar, a savage cry from his diaphragm that stunned the entire audience to immobility. Having already beaten his cousin to sluggish indefensibility by methodically closing most of her tenketsu, the arrogant boy sought to end the fight in the most humiliating way possible by using a technique he knew the elders would be outraged by (as he wasn't supposed to have learned it) as he decimated her completely. Blow after blow struck her abdomen, arms, chest, neck, and legs as he intentionally targeted vital areas of her body, the final strike being a deadly palm to the middle of her forehead as his chakra split the air directly behind her skull in a fine pink mist.

Time seemed to come to a complete stop as blood poured from the exploded sockets of her eyes, her ruptured eardrums, and ran like a waterfall from both nostrils.

Even before Hinata Hyūga's body thudded to the hard ground, the crowd could hear Neji's laughter growing until it was almost psychotic in nature. He took one last look at the unmoving body sprawled across the ground, the pool of blood slowly spreading out from behind her head, before turning his gaze upon his own blood-splattered palm.

"Hnh, I suppose I need to name that strike now. Perhaps, as I was fated to end her miserable life, I'll call it _'Unmei no Te.'_ Yes, I find that appropriate." Without another glance to the cooling body of his deceased relative nor his stunned fellow Leaf nin paused mid-battle, Neji calmly strolled from the floor and away from the competition chuckling the entire way.

~III~

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 **A/N:** Ooooh, I can hear the "WTFs!" coming in even now.

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[D thru A-Rank; B-Rank as used in the Chunin Exams] Doton: Chidōkaku (Earth Release: Moving Earth Core):** This technique grants the user the ability to lower or raise the ground in the surrounding area, allowing them to create giant holes or elevations in the ground. The size of the affected area, as well as the depths that it is lowered or raised to, is also up to the user. With precise timing, this technique can be used to evade incoming attacks, as well as to endanger opponents by moving them into the path of an oncoming attack reducing their reaction time as well as knocking them off balance, making it even harder to avoid the attack. Other than being moved below or above ground — relative to the surrounding surface — the terrain is not altered as plant life and people retain their same positions when this technique is used.

 **[B-Rank] Doton: Ganban Kyuu (Earth Release: Rock Plate Coffin):** After forming the needed hand seals, Kurotsuchi would have generated plates of rock, which would have risen from around her target, entomb it then crush them. She never got the Jutsu off as Genma rendered her unconscious at the end. A ninja skilled in Earth Element abilities can avoid being crushed and emerge from the coffin.

 **[C-Rank] Yōton: Kaisekifū no Jutsu (Lava Release: Ash Stone Seal Technique):** One of the earliest offensive-oriented techniques of the dreaded Lava Release, the user spews out a thick cloud of ash from their mouth, which wraps around their opponent to restrain them. By focusing their chakra, the user can maintain, as well as, enhance the binding properties of this technique. Hand seals are _Tiger_ _Rat_.

 **[C-Rank] Doton: Doryūsou (Earth Release: Earthen Rising Spears):** After forming the needed hand seals, spears of stone will raise from the ground to pierce the target. The technique can be countered by an opponent who hardens their body with a stronger Earth Element jutsu.

 **[C-Rank] Raiton: Dendou Kariyou no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Electric Overdose Technique):** The user takes one post to channel a large amount of electricity into a limb, making the chakra visible. Upon contact with the opponent, the electricity is shot into him and the target's weight almost doubles, making it harder for the victim to move. Naruto used this on Kurotsuchi's leg through a Shadow Clone.

 **[C-Rank] Raiton: Hikuhiku Eda no Jutsu (Lightning Release: Twiching Limb Technique):** An off-shoot of the Electric Overdose Technique, after the user channels a large amount of electricity into his or her hand, making the Chakra visible, the user can attack a specific body area of his or her opponent and fire electricity into it once. Whatever area is struck the muscles immediately begin to constrict and twitch in extreme pain and causes the limb to be unable to move normally. Naruto applied this to Kurotsuchi's right arm through a Shadow Clone.

 **[C-Rank] Suiton: Raibenjin no Jutsu (Water Release: Rapid Thunder Whip Technique):** The user dips their first two fingers into a source of water making a long rope of water rise out from said source. The whip is as sharp as a sword being able to cleanly slice through trees with enough control and power. The whip can be wrapped around opponents and lightning can be sent through the whip to shock them provided the user has access to Lightning Release chakra.

 **[D-Rank] Suiton: Kuchi no Shotto (Water Release: Mouth Shot):** An entry-level technique where the user spits out a single senbon-shaped droplet of water with high velocity which is hard to avoid. Once the droplet hits anything, it forcefully bursts and hurts the target. While the technique lacks the force to seriously endanger somebody, it can be used to weaken enemies while they are distracted.

 **[E-Rank] Doton: Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Military Movement Technique):** This jutsu allows the user to enter the ground and "swim" in it for a limited time by sheathing their body in a thin layer of chakra capable of temporarily displacing earth about them. The user can maintain the jutsu so long as they can hold their breath.


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N:** I suppose that the last update went well? Everyone back in a happy place, are they? Good.

I took a look back over my story outline and the 27 key points I wanted to work in throughout this fanfic. I am going to say that I've worked through most of them over the what… year-and-almost-a-half this story has been up? We're coming up on 500K for this one and there is still so much to work through. I may have to slow down my pace to keep the juices flowing. Meh, enough musing as I should probably get back to the story and quit teasing the folks interested in what happens next.

I am going to assume, however, that those of you 6,000+ viewers of this story (thank you by the way) that read it over the 48 hours I posted chapters 43 and 44 are extremely happy with what you're seeing since there were only 7 reviews per chapter. Yes, I'm going to assume you liked everything I've written and are ecstatic with my work to date (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Okay, moving on...

 _ **...A couple of quick answers before we do:**_

 **\- Dragon0905:** Thank you for your comments. There are 3 points, however, I'd like to address from your review:

 **First Point:** I use the word "vice" in several capacities in this story. With the exception of my spellchecker failing to catch the misuse of vice instead of "vise" when referencing the strength of someone's grip, it is used exactly how I intended to use it per Webster's definition of the prepositional format meaning, "In place of" or "rather than" and not per its prefix usage as a title or its reference to sexual or other forms of immorality. However, don't take my word for it; look it up for yourself. There is one example where I did, in fact, use "vice versa" and that was "as intended." Is it technically accurate? Certainly. Would an editor pull their hair out and bang their forehead on a keyboard forcing me to change it? Probably. That does not make its use inappropriate, only not aesthetically appetizing to some.

 **Second Point:** Everyone is entitled to their opinion on how a story is written and you seem to take issue with how I've written this story based on general shinobi backstabbing and under-handedness. That is your right. If you want a more straightforward tale, there are plenty out there. This story is heavily into intrigue and plot because it takes place in a world of shinobi where everyone involved in that life is constantly plotting to gain an edge and I have intentionally folded in that level of intrigue; this is a shinobi fic for fans of intrigue, not a fanfic version of Demolition Man. I am constantly amused by the many "one-punch" Naruto fanfics out there that completely ignore this aspect of his life that thoroughly dominates everyone else in his shinobi universe (accepting that Naruto is often the blunt-headed exception) unless it's used briefly as part of a fight. As if bad guys don't have ideas and desires of their own or are patient enough to sit back and wait for him to get powerful enough to fight one on one?

Shinobi don't fight fair and rarely go head-to-head unless they have to and this is a shinobi fanfic for shinobi fans. If you want fair and bloody, movies like "The Seven Samurai" are what you need.

 **Final Point:** Tone and context are difficult to ascertain in text. It is the number one downfall of email and messaging so I will apologize upfront if I've misunderstood or misrepresented yours. That said, it's nice to see the stereotypical American attitude (an outright assumption as there is a lack of information to state other than your claim to linguistic proficiency in the language) there "bud" in that you assumed English to be my secondary language when it's actually Spanish with a very, very, very, very minor attempt at horribly poor Japanese being my third (even had the privilege of three years living in Japan to help out with it). Constructive criticism I am open to - hubris not so much.

If you had asked if English was my first language (rather than bluntly and rudely assuming), I might have perceived a much different bias to your "feedback." That said, I will admit that I probably am entirely to comfortable with certain words and should find suitable replacements; I have stated before that "I are an engineer" so the Language Arts are not my forte (this be a hobby so I are not the goodest at it). Finding new words gets a bit repetitive after writing 480,000+ of them on the same subject and becomes less appealing as you go along. That said, I will attempt to be gooder when using the Engrish.

 **Elypsus:** I don't often bludgeon my readers with neon signs saying "This Right Here Is Important!" There will be no foot-stomping to draw your eyes to a specific paragraph. The hints are subtle but they are there. In fact, there are no less than 3 direct hints to the fact that Ino's relationship with Naruto may not be on the up-and-up and these all occur well in advance of the "big reveal." They are spread through 3 separate story arcs and the first two are blended in with other events going on in the story and are so subtle that it's easy to understand why people would gloss over them. One involving Anko is even referenced by her during the Dango Stop Showdown and should have been easy enough to remember from the Nami Arc. The third was, to me, overly obvious and involved Ino but, as the writer, it would seem that way as I wrote it. Funny that someone else wrote a review recommending that I should stay away from romance because they misunderstood the cues as poorly scripted and awkwardly-written romance "vice" hints that the untrained female in question was getting in over her head and "chickened out" at the last minute. If that doesn't point to the third clue (cough* Nadeshiko Arc cough*), then I don't know what to tell you.

\- _**Unmei no Te**_ translates roughly to "Hand of Fate." It was Neji's attempt at Fate-based humor given his fanaticism to that obscure Hyuuga religion. **Dancingrage** picked up on it quick enough - though I'm not sure how I feel about the reference to Manos: Hands of Fate and my story as it can be taken in multiple directions.

\- Naruto, as the current Walker for the Umihebi, has the power to override a contractual bond between a recognized summoner and their summons in order to break it. This was developed over many, many decades so that mistreated Umihebi could be freed from abusive summoners unwilling to release their charges. This does not give him the authority to force a sea serpent into a bond with someone they have not accepted – the summoning clan retains the right to choose their mates. This does not mean that a summons cannot break the bond on their own; they can but it's terribly difficult to do due to the coercive nature of the bond itself. Eito lost his bond because Lampades' sister intentionally severed their link but left with her sibling so she would not suffer alone in exile.

\- In case others are curious, I'll share my answer to **vyoom** about the hint I gave concerning "The Eyes Lie" comment. This isn't specifically a message about Genjutsu, just that the all-seeing eyes of the Hyuuga shouldn't automatically believe everything they see to be inviolate truth. I'll go a step further to hint that if you remember what the original premise of this story is about, you'll know how Naruto was able to pull this little shocker off. 'Nuff said on that since **Dancingrage** nailed it in one.

\- Finally, on the ultimately anti-climactic ending of the Iwa vs. Konoha fight. Remember that these fights are being broadcast across the nations in conjunction with the supporting Daimyo of each of the five major powers. Konoha absolutely cannot be viewed as being biased against the jinchuuriki vessel as that's horribly bad for business with a world that doesn't know he is a jinchuuriki. That means that, even though it's Naruto in the ring, they need to uphold the rules. Gekido interfered in the bout and, since he's doing so on behalf of Iwa Genin, Iwa automatically forfeits the win. The fact that ANBU might have been too late to stop his death if it had been the real Naruto is irrelevant so long as they "act in a timely manner to control the situation," which they did. Sorta. Nonetheless, once they did intervene, they brought the situation to an immediate halt making a prolonged fight between Gekido and Naruto unnecessary (rest assured there is plenty of blood-shedding yet to come warmongers).

Gotta admit the hostility towards the Hyuuga Princess is always surprising (she's such a kind soul). More surprised that two people actually unfollowed the story (presumably with her death). You guys really get into your NaruHina, don'tcha?

In any event, I'm pretty sure I stated upfront that this was a NaruIno fic…

One final check before we move on. Is everyone ready to get back to it? Hope so. Let's pick up where we left off last, shall we?

Enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

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 **Standard Disclaimer:** Blah Blah... don't own Naruto... _but I do own the Umihebi!_

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 _ **Chapter 45: Mono A Mono**_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _It was a bit disconcerting to be calmly standing in neat little rows while med-nins went about the business of loading up Hinata's body on the cloth-covered stretcher preparing to cart her away like cordwood. Ino's mind was still replaying the wailing protests and curses being slung towards the smug branch member of her clan who'd casually snuffed out her life without so much as a "Please and Thank You." Boy was that ever the shit-show and, when she'd looked up for a reaction from the poor girl's father or clan in the expensive box seats, Ino only just caught sight of the elders calmly departing with a stone-faced Hanabi Hyuuga in tow._

 _Their antipathy floored the young mind walker. Shocked to a point of having a delayed reaction she could get, but these... monsters... didn't even care to stick around for the official death call?_

 _Bastards the lot of them! She lost a considerable amount of respect for the entire clan at that point._

 _Let's not forget poor Kurenai-sensei. How the woman was holding it together was beyond Ino who barely knew the girl and was still going numb to the whole experience._

 _Suddenly the Chunin Exam, regardless of whatever festival people were calling it, seemed less like the party of happy memories she'd hoped it could be._

 _Everyone knew that death was a risk in the exams. It had been stressed and repeated enough times but to suffer it at the hands of someone from your own clan charged with keeping you safe on a daily basis? That rankled something primal in the back of Ino's mind, something that she couldn't quite come to grips with. It would be as if her cousin Momoka shanked her the moment she stepped foot in the clan compound over the last pack of cookies; it just made no sense._

 _So she stood there silently bracketed by her brooding squad leader and the equally brooding bruiser of their squad as her body fought the overwhelming urge to spin around and run right into his arms._

 _Kami, she hated this lie!_

 _She couldn't even focus on the rambling words of the senbon-chewing Jounin explaining to them how tomorrow was supposed to go. She remembered something about eight in the morning and an electronic board of some kind. Judging by the faces around her looking upwards and in the same direction, she had a reasonably sound idea where this information board was located and now she was just killing time until she could go home and cry herself to sleep._

 _They weren't even going to be told who their first opponents were until tomorrow so there wasn't much to focus on anyway. She'd deal with it all as it came._

 _By the gods, she just wanted her normal life back!_

 _But they weren't done yet so normal couldn't happen yet. The entire village needed to put on a final show before the last dance could begin and, not for the last time as her eyes glanced over at the dark red stains on the hard stadium floor, did she wonder if this life she wanted to live was worth the price they'd all have to pay for it._

~III~

* * *

 _"Perceive that which cannot be seen with the eye."_

– Miyamoto Musashi.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Inside the Hatchery of the Glittering Grotto ~**

Normally the Grotto was a silent cave whose serene hues of brilliant blues and soothing purple glows would be stirred only by the gentle breaths of the slumbering behemoths making up the remaining "active" members of the _Umihebi_ Celestial Summoning Clan. Enormous enough in size to fit two-thirds of Konoha's geography, there would be, generally speaking, more than enough room to allow free range of motion to its scaly occupants of unusual size, the gentle sloshing of its pools accented by the soothing sounds of water cascading along walls worn smooth through the ages. With its dim sources of light provided by the crystals high above and pulsing eggs throughout the nesting cavern that served as the Clan Boss's audience chamber, its subtle atmosphere would normally be enough to lull anyone into a pleasant slumber as the hours ticked idly by.

Normally.

"This is... _unprecedented!_ "

Poseidus was doing his dead-level best to ignore the recent... activity... transpiring all around him, his eyes looking everywhere but at his smug Elders smugly pressing their smug muzzles in his general direction with their... smugness. Perhaps his wife would be able to corral the new acolyte appointed to help Ellamus once her official duties to the new Walker began.

 _Speaking of which_... The Clan Patron passively glanced down from his shelf to watch his mate's futile attempts to curb the new priestess' energy.

"'Nerva."

"Wow!" The royal blue scales of the Stormwielder shimmered as her slender muzzle hovered equally above a clutch of ten eggs cracking open with the sound of magma boiling beneath the seas. Her overenthusiastic personality was beginning to chafe the already cranky Patron who'd already complained about the unbearable rise in "cavern chatter" as he referred to general noise and distractions.

"MINERVA," she announced with some authority.

"Hmm? OH! Oh, beg pardon, Mother." Pale blue orbs winked sideways as the younger wyrmkin tore her slitted eyes from the emerging life all around her.

"Yes, thank you for your... _dedication_ ," Marianus hazarded a glance to her broody husband as he huffed safely from his perch, "but please keep it to a controlled minimum."

"Certainly, Mother." The younger wyrm's graceful neck dipped low in deference. "I was caught by surprise in the rise in hatchling activity."

 _'Quite.'_ The clan Matron could not agree more actually despite having to convince herself repeatedly that the recent spate of - a quick count confirmed the latest numbers - forty-one births was any indication.

"But... Mother... these numbers _do not make sense_ ," the young adult gasped.

Marianus had to agree with her once again finding the trend reassuring and frustrating at the same time. She knew exactly how many summoners the clan currently possessed-FOUR not including the Walker. The amount of chakra feedback from their bonds should support, at best, the Great Wyrms slumbering in deep hibernation, the current Elder Wyrms, the Young Adults, and the handful of hatchlings scurrying about before the recent upsurge in serpent activity. To make it easy, the Bond adhered to the Rule of Six: One summoner could support either two elders, four young adults, or six hatchlings (the standard as they required more energy due to less self-control) through the average bonding.

Clearly this was not the case with the new Walker and she found herself reviewing what they knew about the process and its benefits despite her disbelief.

A Celestial bond was a give and take affair. While the Uzumaki, Senju, Terumī, and other branch clans gained undeniable benefits from merging their chakras with the Celestial wyrms, the merging was a mutual exchange and the _Umihebi's_ benefit came in the infusion of chakra siphoning.

Chakra, for the clan of sea serpents, literally meant life.

The bond between a serpent and its human summoner thrived off of chakra, primarily the extra energy naturally generated and cast off by the human host. Normally this chakra was lost as the body cast it off into the atmosphere, unless captured through the sealing arts and stored, but the bond transferred those wasted lifegiving pulses back to the bonded wyrm to sustain their bodies. While it often resulted in stagnated growth of the host's chakra coils, that extra energy is transferred to the summons and radiated from its body, as the serpents couldn't otherwise use or store it resulting in similar castoff waste inside the Grotto, to be collected in the many seals inscribed within the walls of the cavern, a beneficial collaboration between the Umihebi and their cherished clan long before The Breaking.

The energy not consumed by the bonded wyrm, absorbed energy that sustained them reducing the need for such large creatures to drain the oceans and forests dry while they fed to support their enormous bulk, is expunged as radiated waste, collected then transmitted to either get absorbed by those seals or resident serpents not bonded to another summoner. It was how the clan could sustain their numbers during emergency times when the number of summoners available dipped to dangerous levels.

Their odd symbiotic dependency on human chakra was also why the reclusive summoning clan was allowed to travel, for short times despite the risks, to the elemental nations which were rich in chakra waste.

Before their current Walker, there had been just enough summoners to support the three classes of serpents still lumbering about: Elders Wyrms, which contained the boss, his wife, and the two Elders Magnus and Regnus and any other wyrm older than one-thousand years; Adult Serpents, which contained Ellamus and the majority ranging from five hundred to a thousand years in age that would normally be clustered lethargically in the Grotto to reduce their energy needs; and finally the Hatchlings below five hundred years in age, which included Opal and Titus.

Ella and Opal both understood how the energy was distributed and she so wished one could be here to educate the new acolyte that would be assuming Ella-hime's duties once the latter became the Grand Priestess. She could not wait until her new infatuation, despite how considerate and charming the Walker could be, wore off and Ella could return to free her from this... _energetic_... female's attention.

~III~

* * *

For a parent, even one as horribly negligent as Hiashi Hyuuga, three minutes can be an indeterminable amount of time while you wait for a team of med-nins to rush out onto the stadium floor, check for a weak pulse from the all-too-still body of your oldest daughter, then lift their masked face towards the proctor so they could gently shake their head from side to side indicating that there is nothing they can do to save the girl's life. Three minutes can seem like an eternity in a case like that.

A great many things can run rampant in a person's mind in those three minutes.

Take for instance the idea that your brother's son intentionally murdered your eldest daughter under the protective premise of the Chunin Exams and you could "legally" do nothing to punish him for it. A rational mind might be able to separate the searing grief of losing a child under the harsh conditions of the shinobi advancement exams and withdraw to grieve privately, as might be expected of a clan head that had successfully convinced an entire village that he cared little for his daughter in order to minimize the influence of the corrupt elders of his clan. A rational mind might even, with the greatest most Herculean effort of mental will, be able to calmly order those same elders sitting behind him to take his youngest daughter back to their clan compound so that he could collect the body of said eldest daughter for later burial without entertaining the thought of slowly pummeling his nephew to death with his bare hands over a period of days.

One might be able to if they were possessed of the iron will embodied in the Hyuuga Clan Head and even be fairly convincing at it.

Three minutes might even provide enough time to look for a certain blond-haired Genin searching for hope, grasping for any kind of way out of the situation you suddenly found yourself faced with. That person might, under the pretense of staring off into space despite the scrutiny of his entire village as they sought to dissect his every reaction for some sign that he cared for the departed girl, find the supposedly unaffected youth once again leaning against the guardrail of the observer's deck with both hands occupied through the making of inane gestures the average person would consider absolutely meaningless. Take for example his left hand hanging limply from the wrist as it twirled in a particularly oblong counterclockwise pattern while his right tapped idly on the handrail upon which his elbows rested. A normal person might consider that odd unless they knew the symbology behind his hand impersonating the direction animals raced in the betting tracks found in Tanzaku Town, the particular direction indicating everything was "on-track," as it were.

One might just release the tiniest shiver of relief that less observant folks may misinterpret as a person of immense control trying to prevent a breakdown of emotion when facing their currently horrific circumstance.

One just might.

So, it was with great purpose and dignity that this great bastion of the Hyuuga Clan rose from his seat to begin the solemn trek to the stadium infirmary to retrieve the body of his daughter before anyone could begin to piece together these things running through his mind.

There was so much to do before the viewing and the funeral after all.

~oOOo~

Naruto stayed long enough to watch Hiashi thread his way through the thinning crowd, the observation deck long since cleared out of people hoping to see a knock-down-drag-out-fight between Naruto and the murdering bastard being _tsked_ to death by his peers. He did have to admit that it was a tough one when both Shino and Kiba chased him back to the observation deck, automatically forfeiting the match to the rest of Team Gai, once their shock at Hinata's death wore off. He could have sworn it was coming to deadly blows if Gai hadn't held back Kurenai and members of the Rookie bunch hadn't tackled the rather irate remainders of Team Eight.

Meh, not really his problem at the moment.

Appreciating the growing blanket of silence, he shoved both hands into cozy pockets and made the casual walk down one and a half levels to the tunnel connecting the stadium entrance to their competitor's section. He couldn't wait to get home and soak in the onsen. Perhaps he'd even get lucky and enjoy the company of a friend or five in the four-person steamer.

He had the strangest urge to giggle right then but it passed as a figure dropped from the tunnel ceiling to quietly walk along next to him.

"Neji-kun." If the boy was annoyed by the younger Genin's address or surprised that he recognized him without making eye contact, it did not show.

"Naruto-sama."

"Will you be okay tonight?" the blond queried casually. He couldn't imagine that the public murder of the clan's unofficial heiress would end well for the branch member.

There was a brisk nod in the affirmative. "The only person that would be upset by the match's outcome would be Hiashi-sama."

Naruto tried not to wince at the callousness of an entire clan toward one of their own deflecting his own dislike of the subject by handing the taller youth a wooden token bearing a carved nine-pronged spiral on one side and a suspension bridge on the other.

"Don't lose that. You'll need it soon."

The small token vanished into the folds of Neji's robes.

"Please forgive me, Naruto-sama, for my brusque nature as we are nearly out of time." Both could see the end of the tunnel steadily approaching.

Naruto gently shrugged it away.

"I need to confirm that this balances my... _our_ debt." Something in the older boy's normally stoic voice sounded... _needy_.

Naruto's eyes swiveled up to meet the pale pair anxiously searching his face for something. "A life for a life, Neji. That was my requirement." The blond turned back to the nearing tunnel exit never having broken stride. "The scales are balanced and I always keep my word."

 _'Your nindo.'_ The long-haired Hyuuga's heavy sigh was telling.

"Neji-kun, you do realize that we could end up opponents in the stadium tomorrow, right?"

"Hai, Naruto-sama. I shall be sure to forfeit if that-."

"Neji," the blond interrupted him actually coming to a stop in the tunnel, "I expect you to honor your father's legacy and fight with everything you have if that's the case."

The taller brunette blinked in confusion.

"We are twice armed if we fight with honor, Neji. I expect you to stand before your father as a hero when this is all said and done, not as a quitter. How else will you change your fate unless you fight for it to the very end?"

The two nodded sagely to each other before resuming their exodus. As the whisker-marked Genin broke out of the tunnel and into the blinding light of the afternoon sun, only one figure could be seen as he continued onward to the steamy onsen calling his tired name.

~III~

Every med-nin not on rounds was scurrying about Konoha General at the will of their new medical Commander, and woe betide the slow appointee not efficiently about her furious tasking.

Said Commander was not alone in her one-woman war on inefficiency. While Tsunade Senju, the greatest med-nin in perhaps the entire elemental kingdom blasted orders from her mighty throne of administrative dominance (her newly recovered office once she'd evicted the lazy squatters wasting the talent of her subordinates), her apprentice was equally about her shishou's business when it came to setting up the relay medical stations needed for tomorrow's festivities.

All about their wake was chaos and destruction for the initiated and into this mess clacked the fearless geta of Jiraiya, the Toad Sage of Mount Myōboku.

He waited patiently until the final cowering subordinate scuttled off to do its mistress's bidding before sticking his white-maned head around the corner of her office doorjamb, his rugged face resisting the urge to smile at what he saw. The office was spacious as it should be for the Medical Director of the hospital, her desk near the far end of the room by the large double window affording a peaceful view of the village backdropped by faces of the great Hokage long passed. Closer to the door was a small conference table covered by scrolls draping its surface like a jigsaw tabletop but he ignored it all.

No, Jiraiya only had eyes for the blonde bombshell standing before an enormous wall map of the village on the far side of her cluttered table, her hands fisted upon her curvy hips as she chewed thoughtfully on a pursed lower lip.

"If you're done eye-groping me, you can move on so we can finish getting ready, Jiraiya."

The Slug Princess never broke her gaze free from the map sporting a dozen red circles across its faded surface.

"Never," he shot back immediately.

She only snorted in return. _'Same old perv.'_

"I wish you'd consider his offer," he opined.

"I will when you will," she fired back.

"You know I-."

"-WON'T!" she interrupted. "Don't lie to me and claim you can't." Her amber eyes so capable of stealing his breath away swiveled to glare at him from across the room. "We're both too old for that these days."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Jiraiya's heart thumped painfully in his chest at her soured gaze, his eyes not leaving her even after her chest expanded magnificently to let her expel a burst of frustrated air as she returned to her precious map.

"No, I suppose I can't at that."

"Have you seen him yet?" For such a large man, the question was surprisingly gentle.

"I _see_ him all the time."

"You know that's not what I meant!" Jiraiya paused before, "You don't want to waste a second chance, Hime."

The sound she made this time was closer to a grunt than a sigh. It was less an agreement than it was more of an acknowledgement that he spoke. Getting the sense that she was done speaking for now, the disappointed Toad Sage turned away to find happier moments.

She ignored the sound of his footwear fading off into the hospital's pristine hallways ignoring his casual, " _Drinks at the usual time_."

For once, the Senju Princess felt no desire to "toss a couple back" with her old teammate. She had a feeling she'd need to be sober tomorrow.

~III~

Ino paused fidgeting briefly as she waited with her two unlikely dinner companions in the koi garden making up the entrance lobby to Konoha's premier eatery, _Fields of Gold_. Any other time she'd be ecstatic at the invitation to a place graced only by the powerful and politically well-heeled decision-makers of her village. Only the truly exceptional frequented this place after all.

If only it could be under better circumstances. The day's drama at the very end of Team Battles only served to point out how lethal the shinobi world really was, how things could go from "a really great day" to an "oh, crapper" in the blink of an eye. I mean, that's about how long it took for Neji to murder his own cousin before thousands of spectators after all.

The blink of a shinobi's eye.

At some point during her introspective moment, Ino's eyes had wandered to the mindlessly swimming Koi meandering about in the mini pond beneath the bridge connecting the Tori gate of the establishment to the finely-stained porch entry of the restaurant. From there, tired eyes rolled right along the glistening planks to the midnight kimonos sported by her fellow dinner companions, any attempt at beauty quashed by the somber mood and simple pink kunai pins hovering above the field of black cloth covering each woman's left breast. Considering their entire outfit, barring that single splash of color, was made of the same soul-rending material, it wasn't hard to draw attention to the sympathetic symbols of a village trying to hide the ongoing excitement of the exams behind a facade of mourning.

She'd seen Hyuuga elders fleeing from the stadium the second Hinata's body struck the ground and held zero illusions as to how much her death affected them beyond their agreement with the Daimyo. The bastards! She hoped with all her heart that the same agreement bit them _right in the_ -.

"I hope that I have not kept you ladies waiting?"

Ino's stare flickered from the tranquil setting of the wooden bench she waited on to the pained smile on Shizuka's face and wondered if the suffering of her village meant anything to the Nadeshiko native here on her own agenda. Two seconds later she decided it didn't matter and stood up to follow the three women that were her competition for Naruto's affections.

She could mourn her dead friend later, apparently. Plus she'd need to corner Naruto to ask where his plan, the same one she'd asked to be clued in on repeatedly, went sideways with Hinata's untimely demise. She shook away those grim thoughts and focused on her fellow kunoichi.

What she couldn't get was how calm Anko seemed to be. The woman's face was a stone mask, unlike any other time when Ino couldn't knock that obnoxious smirk from her lips no matter what she tried. Not tonight though as the snake charmer hadn't said more than two grunts of acknowledgment in the past fifteen minutes of waiting for their host, or hostess in the case of the Nadeshiko ruler. Shizuka was the reason why they even had a table in a place that required reservations two months in advance just to get a foot in the door and, once they cleared the foyer, Ino fully understood why.

Once past the restaurant's greeting podium, the wooden planks of the entryway branched out into a network of open-aired bridges and walkways working past, around, and to individual wooden platforms ranging in sizes large enough to accommodate a single circular table capable of hosting groups in the dozens or cozy, intimate settings for two and everything in between. Each platform was its own individual island - literally - as the water feeding the koi pond out front ran underneath the walkways and fed the lake of water being gently churned in between each platform by bubblers and water fountains no bigger than a small planter. It lent a soothing atmosphere like those cheap Zen fountains you could buy for your office desk, the multiple bubblers providing a soothing gurgling sound as ambient noise that matched well with the lily pad-borne lavender pots floating errantly throughout the entire waterway beneath their feet.

It gave the entire setting a blanket of peace and serenity Ino desperately needed at the moment.

As they wound their way to a slightly raised platform near the center of the open floor plan, Ino appreciated the background noise as it would most likely keep the average snoop from picking up on their conversation. The sense of isolated privacy only compounded once she noticed the curtained pavilion set up around their candlelit table, three sides already closed off as they took their seats.

There was no need to order as a pair of servants laid out a small garden salad, fresh rolls, and chilled glasses filled with a white wine from a bottle with a Sauvignon Blanc label she couldn't quite catch. Whatever it was, the wine was as crisp as the leafy greens on her plate and she was glad to see none of the women sharing the table were shy about eating.

The servers topped off their water glasses with fresh slices of lemon or cucumber per preference, lit additional candles to provide just a touch more lighting, then departed closing the entry curtains as they did so, the sign their hostess was waiting for it seemed before the conversation began.

"It pleases me that you all accepted my invitation."

Ino tore a chunk of bread from the steaming roll on her side plate before slathering a healthy dollop of soft butter across the feathery surface - she'd always loved the smell of fresh-baked bread.

"You said it was important, so we came." Tenten didn't appear to be shy and Anko was more than happy to observe while the two chatted, so Ino focused more on the light course. With no menus, the entire meal was probably scripted so she could afford to enjoy the show while paying attention to their surroundings.

She focused on Shizuka's face and body language as the woman washed down her own mouthful of food with a sip of wine.

"I wanted to pass on my condolences for your village's-."

"Don't." It appeared that Anko could speak, after all, her single word bringing the table to a standstill, as it were. "Everyone in the exams knew the risks going into it."

Ino figured if she were truly sorry then the woman would have donned the black for a day in solidarity. Her seafoam green kimono was just too cheery to make false platitudes seem sincere.

Shizuka nodded once before moving on. "Very well. Straight to business, it is then."

Ino took a sip and had to revise her opinion of the wine. _Maybe she could get Tou-san to purchase a bottle or three..._

"I want to ask if you three have considered Naruto-sama's proposal."

"Which part?" Tenten asked around a particularly juicy cherry tomato.

"Not the marriage part, obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I'm talking about the large family issue."

"You mean the wife-harem?" Tenten sounded affronted as she dabbed her surprisingly dainty chin. "I'm not so desperate that I'd surrender my shot at happiness to rent out a husband once or twice a week."

"It wouldn't be a harem, Miss. Higurashi, as I will be living in Nadeshiko until he decides to join me there and this all falls under Konoha's horrible CRA practices. Our... _arrangement_... would be symbolic, nothing more. He gives me one or two children until he's ready to assume the mantle of leadership in Nadeshiko." She belatedly added, "You're all welcome to come with, of course."

 _"Of course."_ Anko's eyes narrowed sarcastically with her response.

Tenten rose to the bait. "You sound awfully convinced that he'll leave his home village when you refuse to leave yours."

Ino was enjoying the back and forth despite the Nadeshiko kunoichi's relaxed body language. Even the sideways nod of her head alluded to confidence in how things were going to turn out as if it were fated. A quick frown at the image of a smug Neji Hyuuga soured her surprisingly refreshing salad so she washed down the bitter feeling with a slightly larger sip of wine. A quick glance to Anko as she did so showed only another slight narrowing of the eyes.

"I am certain that he will, in time, come to rely on my village to give him something Konoha never intended him to have that he'll desperately need to help keep his family, however large, protected."

Tenten was indignant, her salad temporarily forgotten. "Pardon me for being blunt but just what the hell could your village give him that one of the _Big Five_ couldn't?"

To be honest, it was a fair question in Ino's opinion despite sounding a bit elitist.

"Legitimacy," the flower kunoichi responded with absolute certainty and a total lack of hesitancy.

"Pfft!" Tenten's response was guttural, emotional.

"No, Ten-chan." Three pairs of eyes turned to the snake Tokujo in surprise. "She has a fair point."

"What?! How can you say that? Naruto is a Leaf nin-."

Anko's interruption was brutally efficient.

"Who's been pissed on by his own village his whole life, present company excluded."

Ino inadvertently flinched, both at the blunt brutality in the beautiful woman's response and the harsh truth of it, but hoped no one caught it. She barely honored the spirit of that statement and only within the last six months or so.

"You yourself said that he can't buy standard shinobi gear without getting raked over the coals unless it's from your store. What makes you think a Daimyo is going to respect his rights if his own village can't be bothered?" Anko's brusque evaluation killed Tenten's head of steam like a rapidly deflating balloon.

Shizuka piled on. "Having already defeated me in ritual combat before a large number of my nation's populace, Naruto is automatically accepted, and respected, based on his skill and power alone. He's a recognized and valued member of Nadeshiko without reservation, a nation with a standing military and thriving economy in the elemental world."

 _'Well, damn,'_ Ino mentally chirped even as her keen mind filled in the years worth of crappy background suffered by her blond love interest. _'She isn't wrong.'_

"But it's going to take more than that to win over his loyalty. You know the Uzumaki, all of them, were hopelessly loyal to a homicidal fault." Anko's eyes, having not reset after the second round of speculation, narrowed a bit further as the smirking Nadeshikan nodded with a sly grin gracing her lips. "So what aren't you telling us?"

Shizuka paused for a moment to take one last sip of her wine allowing for the returning servants to remove the quartet of now empty salad plates, each replaced with a healthy serving of Saba-braised lamb shanks served on a bed of mixed rice paired with baby carrots sautéed in a buttery sauce followed by a crusty type of thick-sliced bread that made Ino's mouth water. Empty wine glasses were replaced with a fresh glass holding a blood red-colored Cabernet boasting hints of black cherries and spice.

Shizuka didn't resume speaking until the servers once again stepped outside the pavilion, the pause giving Ino a chance to notice the freshly-lit candles floating atop the lily pads surrounding their enchanting dinner setting.

"No love for the game of intrigue? I find that odd from one of Konoha's best interrogators." Shizuka hummed appreciatively as the perfectly done shank dribbled the faintest trail of juice down her disgustingly beautiful chin before she could wipe it away.

"There is a time and a place for that nonsense and you're almost out of time." The Tokujo was steadily working her way through the main course and remaining mess-free, much to Ino's ire.

"There is always dessert," the other busty brunette giggled, "but I'm more interested in the thoughts of our silent observer since she knows exactly what I'm referring to."

And just like that, all eyes flickered directly to Ino who swore internally mid-bite (she was really enjoying the food).

Taking the time to chew her way methodically through what was an admittedly large bite of tender meat, she took the time needed to gather her thoughts through an equally diligent wiping of her mouth with the cottony napkin resting in her lap.

"I'm going to assume that you're referring to the brokered deal by certain clan members concerning our dearly departed kunoichi." Ino's eyes never left the bright green orbs of their hostess. _'Curse her exotic eyes.'_ "Seeing as very influential parties could not broker a new deal to release her from the marriage contract, there has to be a hidden reward or agenda that's now been thrown out of whack by today's unfortunate outcome."

Shizuka hid her smirk behind a healthy swallow of red wine.

"Given the reported prize of the previous agreement and the believed location of said prize, the risk-reward for this endeavor would need to be substantial to warrant the Fire Daimyo's direct involvement. The question now is, 'Does Konoha have something that could make up for losing Hinata, and would the crown even accept the substitution should it be offered'?"

Anko fully joined the meeting of the minds. "That shit sandwich is the sole problem of the Hyuuga, not the Leaf."

"Ah, that's true unless it's in the best interests of the village to support the deal for better enticements from the Capital. Even though the third cousin, a minor noble at best who'll never sit the throne, lost a young kunoichi bride, he lost a kunoichi of a noble clan and that's worth something in prestige. It has value, does it not?" Shizuka cautioned.

Tenten was shaking her head even as her nose crinkled up at the political rat's nest to unwind. "Again, that's an issue for the Hyuuga to worry about. We had nothing to do with any of that!"

Ino frowned at the bubbly weapons mistress' overly simplistic view of the situation. The Hyūga were a connected bunch but even they weren't tied in enough to earn a high-ranking marriage into the Daimyo's family without some serious muscle behind the push. No, they would need something huge to pull that kind of interest from the "Great Flame" himself...

"Unless the Hyuuga weren't the only ones involved in the deal," Ino began. Her concern didn't lessen any when the dark-haired beauty's smile grew at her supposition. Her mind started dissecting the need for the Daimyo to be involved and why the arranged marriage was such a sticking point in it all.

"Ino, you know how the minds of greedy politicians work. Tell me," the frustratingly beautiful woman leaned forward with her elbow on the table as her chin plopped comfortably on the cupped palm provided, "why would a Daimyo feel the need to involve himself personally in a petty marriage negotiation between lesser nobles, even if it does involve someone from his extended family?"

Ino's eyes popped wide open as the truth dawned on her. "He'd only get involved if he had something personal to lose from the deal going south."

Anko picked up the thread. "So, if the Hyuuga bargaining chip gets lost during the exams, the whole deal, and whatever he stands to gain, could potentially fall through..."

"Something valuable enough that rich and powerful people have most likely killed to protect before..." Ino offered. _'Money, power, and prestige,'_ her mind rattled off almost subconsciously.

"...unless Konoha could offer something sweet enough to keep the disgusting perv in the Capital interested in the prior arrangement thereby securing the original reward," Tenten summarized up nicely.

"No, not Konoha as the Hokage would never risk his adopted grandson like that unless he had absolutely no choice." Anko seemed confident in her analysis.

"The Hokage wouldn't but the Hyūga most certainly would," Ino whispered.

"Huh? Why would they care about a penniless orphan?" Tenten blurted out.

Ino was quick to correct her. "You forget. Naruto-kun is the heir to the Uzumaki Clan and the sovereign prince of the Uzumaki village of Uzu no Kuni, Ten. He stopped being a penniless orphan the moment his heritage was made public but he can't legally claim it until he turns sixteen."

"So," Tenten began a bit unsure of herself, "what happens if he dies before then?"

"Then the state reclaims it all," Ino supplied.

Anko countered with, "But that only helps the Hyūga if they had someone placed high enough in government to help them get their hands on it."

"Who is to say that they did at one point or still do have someone like that? A quick paper shuffle and some, if not all, of his inheritance, could easily get siphoned off into their greedy mitts, especially if the Daimyo is available to cover their tracks," Ino reposted.

Then the weight of such a conspiracy nut theory began to settle over the once calm atmosphere of the meal, the very voicing of which could mean a traitor's death to all four women seated at the table. For Ino, Naruto's reluctance to share every facet of his plan with her was beginning to make more sense.

"See, you all have the knack for politics if you set your mind to it." Shizuka's mind was positively churning as she bit happily into another juicy chunk of lamb.

"Wait a minute," Ino piped off. "The Hyuuga don't have another prize like Hinata they could offer. The remaining Main Branch members with children have sons and I don't see Hiashi surrendering Hanabi, now his only heiress, due to the Clan Protection laws Hi no Kuni defends with a narrow-minded vengeance. This all seems so flimsy still without a bride to seal the deal." The disgust in her voice over the snobby clan's views on people, in general, and their respective value was palpable.

"Unless another offer could be made. Perhaps another clan prize?" Shizuka purred.

Ino frowned at that comment. While she was the current clan head's daughter, there were plenty of main branch daughters in the rather prolific Yamanaka gene pool that could either be sacrificed in her place or outright replace her, as the Clan Head position was an elected one and her father could be easily replaced. Thinking back on the failed Kumo kidnapping of the heiress, Konoha had already made it abundantly clear that they'd sacrifice a shinobi pawn for the greater good if push came to shove.

That comment struck a little too close to home for her sake.

"Oh, let's not be snobbish about it, Ino-chan. Any unwed kunoichi with beauty, skill, talent, and an impressive bustline could easily be sent in Hinata's place. I see at least three qualified females at this very table." Both Anko and Tenten started at the very thought. "Which brings me back to my original question at the beginning of this meal." She looked each woman at the table directly in the eye.

"Have you three seriously considered the extremely generous offer from Uzu no Kuni's extremely handsome and politically-isolated Daimyo, Naruto Uzumaki? More importantly, have you considered the considerable protection that another legitimate ruler allied with someone that had their own significant military force could provide you if you were also betrothed to such a man?"

Suddenly, Ino understood why Naruto wanted her to appear close to the Uchiha runt during their Hinata-purposed subterfuge. As Konoha's darling clan survivor, the Council would never allow anyone, the Daimyo and his family included, from stealing her away while they worked the plan to free Hinata. So long as the boy professed even the smallest amount of interest in her, she would have been safe from the intrigue surrounding the betrothal of the Daimyo's cousin and isolated from the mess that was Hinata's escape attempt from her clan.

"Well, _kuso!_ " the blonde grunted out surprising her dinner companions.

Oddly enough, the remainder of the meal was less inspiring for three of its participants even with the chocolate soufflé smothered is a beatific orange-tinted Crème Anglaise sauce.

~III~

Kabuto was doing his best to remain detached from his surroundings without appearing to be overly detached. To a normal civilian, this would not be difficult to do. Unfortunately, his audience for such a daring performance did not stroll through the realms of mortal men. With uncanny self-control, he forced his body to relax and remain tucked away where he stood partially-concealed from prying eyes overhead.

Over the last ten years that he'd spent working as a spy, the youth developed what he considered fairly strong control over his emotions, something you needed to work around monsters like Sasori of the Red Sands and Orochimaru of the Sannin. Standing in a shadowed alcove awaiting the arrival of his master the night before a huge invasion of the village he was currently engaging his lucrative line of work in, while avoiding an increased number of ANBU patrols, easily counted as a pressure cooker situation needing ironclad emotional control.

Still, he couldn't resist the odd brush of his fingertips along the bridge of his owl-like spectacles.

He froze the very moment he felt a familiar presence behind him knowing if the man wanted him dead he would be already.

"You have what I need?"

The man's sibilant hiss of a voice was like the caress of soft leather across his skin but Kabuto repressed a shudder and slowly lifted behind his back the Ninfo Cards his master required without turning around. The Sannin's voice moved from the darker recesses to directly behind his ear and Kabuto flushed decadently as warmth shot through his extremities.

"Excellent work, as always."

Kabuto knew better than to draw attention by speaking.

"Continue as planned. Once I've achieved my goal, let the Sound Four claim the Uchiha." The speaker paused as the fingers of his right hand pressed against the bridge of his nose lingering to block his lips from view.

"Yes, Kabuto?"

"What of the other, master?"

Orochimaru's hand gently stroked the med-nin's cheek drawing a much more obvious shuddering reaction. "Never fear, Kabuto-kun. I shall tend to him, personally. We continue as planned."

Kabuto waited a full twenty seconds once the hand withdrew before he turned around to ensure he was alone. Once he took another twenty to regain control over his heart rate, he stepped off into the street to mingle with the sparse evening crowd on his way back to his apartment.

After tonight he wouldn't need it but he'd make sure to enjoy it one last time before the entire village burned at his master's pleasure.

Meetings with Orochimaru-sama were always so... _stimulating_.

~III~

"Now, I know we've touched back on the overall plan a few times but let's take one last-." Naruto's summation for their last official gathering was cut short by the sound of the gate chime. When his eyes swung back towards the attentive audience gathered in his living room, he had to hold up his hands to calm them and direct the cessation of rapidly spawning weaponry. A very cynical part of his mind felt it was like de-arming Kumogakure.

A clone spawned in a small puff of smoke right before drawing a kunai and offing itself to the very shocked faces of half his discussion group, several eyes still blinking in surprise as the front door opened to admit another clone followed by none other than Hiashi Hyuuga.

"Good evening, Hiashi-san." Naruto's greeting was cordial if not overly warm.

"Good evening, Naruto-sama, and my thanks for seeing me at... so late... unexpected... H-Hinata!" The man's voice became less urgent, less controlled, and barely a whisper by the time he'd uttered her name at which point the girl in question calmly rose from her comfy spot nestled in between the Aburame heir and his mother to stand before her father.

"Hyuuga-sama." Her bow was perfunctory and entirely appropriate to his rank.

Hiashi Hyuuga flinched as if struck by a physical blow. His pain only grew when he reached out to embrace his daughter and she stepped back beyond the range of his arms.

The pained faces of the gathered room full of observers did not turn away to give the fracturing family a moment of peace and Hiashi understood all too well that this was a mental prison of his own doing. He'd lost her love as a daughter long ago in his failed attempt to protect her from a thankless clan and it was too late to be the loving Tou-san she once knew. As understanding dawned with shocking clarity on the proud clan leader, Hiashi Hyuuga righted himself, turned to face the blond Uzumaki, and bowed low at the waist as the pain in his heart dulled to a throbbing ache in his soul.

 _'She lived!'_

"You have granted this old man his fondest wish in safely delivering his daughter from a fate worse than d-death."

Several in the room did turn away this time to allow the man a private moment of grief at the smallest hitching of his shoulders.

"The Uzumaki and Aburame will f-forever be named as friends to the Hyuuga so long as I b-breathe." He righted himself then bowed once to Shibi and his family. With a final wistful glance into the hardened face of his dau- _Hinata_ , the once-proud Hyuuga scion calmly exited the way he came.

Naruto turned to the clone that escorted him in. "No other visitors tonight. We still have a bit to review before tomorrow."

The clone in question bowed once before stepping out to resume his guard post.

~III~

Hiashi's footsteps were brisk and full of happiness though he carried a heavy heart. His normally calm and methodical mind was scattered to the four cardinal points of the compass. _His daughter lived!_

It was difficult to rationalize losing her love if it meant she could live her life freely, the greatest and only gift he could bestow upon her now. Looking back on what his clan - his family had become, it was a tough decision to reconcile but he'd have to suffer through. Hiashi tried to console himself by making a mental note to offer more lucrative contracts to the Aburame to thank them for their help.

He first had a nest of snakes to cull and the thought hardened his stare as the gates to his family compound came into view.

Since the truth of Hinata's illegal betrothal by the elders of his clan, Hiashi had uncovered several unpleasant facts he'd rather never been made aware of. It could be reasonably surmised that to be unaware of such occurrences (if you ignored them) meant that they did not happen - if one was an utter fool content to let others run and ruin their life. Hiashi was no such fool thusly he now had a cancerous growth to weed out now that he'd corrected their malicious tampering of his family's inner workings.

Take for instance the two guards standing just outside the entry gates to his home. Hiashi recognized them as two of his most loyal but this had not always been thus. In fact, the entire week that the Daimyo's concierge, Jurou Onishi, had been consorting with the Hyuuga Elders, the guards on-station had been loyal to his father (a main family elder) and not the current clan head. This whole mess was possible as the Elders had been responsible for the day-to-day tasks of the large clan freeing up the clan head to focus on "larger and more important decisions vital to the well being of the clan" with the end result being the Elders had kept the whole affair from his notice until it was too late to prevent it.

That had been the very first precedent Hiashi corrected and now he made sure there were two sentries with his full faith and confidence awaiting his return at the end of the day's events. This would also be the same case tomorrow given the importance of the final exams.

Pausing to dismiss the two branch members he was positive would report the entirety of the day's events to the nosy elders, Hiashi dallied long enough to lean in and listen to Hiroto's report. The news bode extremely ill as he thanked them both and departed in a ground-consuming stride towards the Elder's personal meeting chamber.

No longer distracted by errant thoughts, he flagged down Natsu - Hanabi's caretaker - smiling as the clever girl darted off to secure his remaining daughter. Then, like the whirlwind only a Hyuuga master could muster, he turned the corner of the ground floor corridor leading directly to the entrance of what he knew to be a _Fūinjutsu_ -sealed chamber containing nine of the oldest bastards ever to make his life miserable.

The two branch members standing guard actually thought to impede him - up until his dual palm strikes swatted them to the side and out of his path. Before their bodies ever crumpled to the ground, he'd smashed a chakra-filled palm to the double sliding rice-paper doors hard enough to shatter the seals and tear the flimsy barriers from their hinges, their wooden frames having to be deflected by seated, and terribly surprised, main and branch family elders apparently deep in discussion over several scrolls bearing the Hyuuga Seal and one hastily-scrawled scroll bearing the royal seal of the Daimyo.

The members around the low table froze like rabbits before a wolf as their eyes locked onto the stern face of their Clan head. Older though they were, Hiashi was still a warrior in his prime and perhaps the greatest practitioner of their fabled _Jyūken_. None of the branch members moved knowing all-too-well what would happen if he made either of the handseals associated with the Hyūga Family _Juinjutsu_. There were only two options there: extreme pain (then maybe death) or death outright. This gave Hiashi a moment to glance at the far end of the chamber to the throne-like chairs occupied by his hateful father and Jurou smug in his royal garb as the Daimyo's gopher boy.

Jurou may be safe but no one else in that room was and the vast majority of them knew it.

Without a single word, Hiashi padded slowly around one side of the table, the one inhabited solely by main branch Elders, his eyes never leaving those of his father's. Again, without looking away, he held out one hand as if demanding something. The resulting sigh and head nod from the man seated next to Jurou brought a sneer to Hiashi lips but, in the end, he was given a copy of what appeared to be a new contract offering Hanabi up to the same sniveling relative to the Daimyo along with a certain blonde Yamanaka that had caught the cousin's rather greedy eye.

Hiashi actually snorted at that unsanctioned proposal knowing how poorly that would go over with a certain Uzu Daimyo, his action raising several eyebrows at the table as those still kneeling before him began to fidget.

"It appears that a firm lesson needs to be taught as you did not learn it the last time this topic came up."

Hideyoshi Hyūga, kneeling within arm's reach of his clan leader, knew fear for the first time. "Hiashi," he nervously began, "let's discuss-."

 ** _"Jūkenhō Ōgi: Hakke: Jū-Hachishō no Hotoke!"_**

Something deep within the former twin snapped at the sight of Hanabi's name freshly-inked upon another contract being drafted in full view of his father, the current senior among the Elders, and an accomplice from the Daimyo's court. That they would fearlessly do so not once but twice in an effort to bleed out his family line struck him as the utmost example of cowardice and treachery.

That his own flesh and blood would sanction such an act without seeking his consent demanded justice so that was what Hiashi delivered in the form of his family's most sacred art.

The **_Eight Trigrams Eighteen Palms of the Buddha_** was the ultimate stance of the Jūkenhō, better known as the Gentle Fist passed down only from clan head to clan head. Those that had felt its fury rarely survived more than a single blow from the golden palmed chakra that was their family's pinnacle of melee combat and he'd divided the eighteen strikes disproportionately among the Main Branch Elders of his clan.

The three closest to the head of the table, the three that should have known better than to sanction the wholesale trafficking of the clan head's daughter and should have prevented Hinata's betrayal, received five blows apiece, their lifeless bodies devoid of chakra before they struck the tatami mats at their feet as Hiashi's glowing palms transitioned before the first blow landed from the peaceful blue to a furiously golden glow that hummed with power. The palm-shaped scorch marks littering their torsos would surface later as the bodies cooled showing the burst blood vessels beneath the skin's topmost layer.

The remaining three suffered a single strike apiece. There was a good chance they'd survive the assault and hopefully learn from their greedy mistakes. It was unlikely that their chakra networks would ever recover effectively crippling their martial prowess.

"If I hear that Hanabi has been bartered away as her sister was, the rest of you will join them." As Hiashi spun on a sandaled heel and strode from the room, a heavily disappointed Jurou rose to his feet to depart.

"I shall inform the Daimyo that the revised deal is unlikely to be ratified in the same fashion as the previous one." The stiff-necked court official departed without a second look at his grey-haired host.

The Senior rose and bowed to his departing guest. "I shall send word if we are able to resolve this in the Court's favor." He didn't receive an answer or acknowledgment but, then again, he wasn't expecting one. The Concierge simply expected that the petitioners of the Court would succeed or fail; it was not his place to care short of the issue becoming his personal problem to resolve, which it had not yet become.

Hideo frowned knowing there would be hard times ahead for the Hyuuga Clan if he could not turn his son's stubborn head to the proper path. He doubted the possibility of winning back the clan by challenge, therefore, they would have to be opportunists tomorrow.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Konohagakure no Sato, Day Four of the Chunin Exam Festival ~**

A brilliant burst of sunlight rudely snatched Sakura from the world of dreams, her face wrinkling with the pain of glaring brightness in her soothing den of pastel blues and greens.

What? Just because she had pink hair didn't mean her entire world was pink.

"That's enough dawdling young lady!"

The agonized groan bubbling up from her throat was all the indication that Mebuki Haruno needed to confirm that her daughter was at least awake if not fully functional yet.

 _SWAT_

"Ack! Moooooooooooom!"

The dishwater blonde giggled happily even as she retreated from the room after opening every window she could find. With a final chorus of, "Today's the big day!" she hummed her way downstairs to finish setting up breakfast for her "Cherry Blossom."

This left a still-groggy and highly perturbed Sakura Haruno to rub her marginally bruised posterior in the wake of her mother's unprovoked attack as she mentally chewed on recent developments. With a heavy sigh and an unhappy huff of air, she decided to reflect on the day's agenda while stumbling through her morning ablutions in her personal bathroom.

 _'Spare no expense!'_ The false smile on her face indicated it was a term she heard all too often in the Haruno household but it also indicated that she led a comfortable life free from hardship and deprivation. Isn't the way that it should be when a family works hard to succeed?

The Haruno Clan was primarily a civilian one focused on commercial enterprise, her parents being the first to break the mold with her career Genin of a father settling down to take over the Clan's commercial land shipping routes between Suna, River, Tea, and Hot Water. Her mother had married into the clan from another civilian family but left active service after marriage and pregnancy took her from the Civil Engineering Corps of the Logistics Division, a helpful career she parlayed into a Konoha Real Estate license used to subsidize her father's restructuring of the family's heavily neglected shipping business. They were successful through hard work and keen business minds, something Sakura had inherited and improved upon so why in the holy name of all that is heavenly was she trying to get herself killed in becoming something neither of her parents needed or achieved in their shinobi careers?

That was the million Ryu question of the day.

In reality, she had two choices ahead of herself. On the one hand, she could take over one of the family businesses and lead a comfortable life as she improved upon the clan's (as the Harunos were a middling clan) prestige and influence. On the other, she could marry into greater social position by wooing a clan heir. While the latter was usually the path impressed upon young girls in the elemental nations still stuck in their dynastic dreams of antiquity, she was a privileged woman with choices who could afford to choose another career path if she so desired.

As the warm water soaked away most of the dreary after-effects of a long night of comfortable sleep, she tried to let her natural fears and doubts slither down the drain at her feet along with the thin rivulets of water wicking off her almost boyish figure.

Her intelligent mind cataloged her physical deficiencies, the narrowed hips, her soft musculature, and even the underdeveloped breasts she wrote off as part of her petite figure. This was of course immediately brushed aside as necessary in the ongoing war for Sasuke's affections justifying her unabridged diet-. _Tch!_

She was doing it again. How many times now had her obsessive fixation tried to negate what her critical mind was trying to layout for her? Who had even started the rumors about what Sasuke-ku... Sasuke liked or disliked? Was it Akimi? It hadn't come from him most assuredly. The often non-communicative boy certainly hadn't shared with them his thoughts and desires and now, on the morning where she could very much lose her life as... as Hinata had the day before... she realized that the harm she'd been doing to herself all this time just might do her in.

Death was a very sobering event and if Hinata, who was the strongest combat kunoichi of their class, could get done in then what was to prevent the same from happening to her? Didn't their kunoichi instructors at the academy always harp about there being worse fates than death for female nins?

When the time came, a much more determined Sakura stepped from the warm shower to dawn her normal Genin outfit. She'd need to convince her father to help her find more appropriate combat attire. While she was at it, she'd need to ask her mother about proper diet and exercise.

Like the proctor that dispassionately watched a very vibrant Hinata Hyuuga sift her life's blood through ruptured eye sockets, she knew she couldn't count on anyone to come to her rescue. Shinobi died much to quickly for that knight-in-shining-armor fairy tale crap.

With a silently breaking heart, another piece of the impervious Sasuke dream plummeted into the muck and mire of her disillusioned reality.

Sakura tried not to notice how her mother and father, both excited to take the day off and observe their "little Cherry Blossom" in the finals, stared in shock at their daughter's complete shift in eating habits as healthy portions of eggs, bacon, oats, toast, and fruit all got chased down with equal parts milk and water. Well, healthy for Sakura as she hadn't been eating in great amounts and her stomach had probably atrophied as it adjusted over time to her starvation diet.

Fighting down a sudden wave of nausea, she took one last gulp of water and further stunned her parents by asking for the assistance in helping her become a real kunoichi, her eyes locked firmly on the pink kunai adorning her usual kunoichi attire.

She had to ignore their overly hopeful faces as they stutteringly agreed to help her undo all of her self-inflicted harm, that is if she survived today.

She swore to herself that she would do exactly that.

The trip to the stadium was a silent one for her, her mind going over all of the lessons and tips her impressionable class received at the academy. She'd never really applied herself physically but her mind was still as sharp as any blade. Eidetic memory was a blessing that had saved her hours of wasteful mental repetition as she sought to fill her head with as much knowledge readily available to a Genin-level kunoichi. Even as she cobbled together a workable novice training schedule she'd ask her parents to critique later, she suddenly felt just the tiniest bit less helpless.

It wasn't too late. She could still take charge of her career and become something more than a damsel in distress.

Before long her automatic steps merged with the excited crowds flocking to the stadium for the final rounds of competition. Sakura, for all her dread and worry, was so lost in her own thoughts that she ignored the inane chatter enveloping her like an electric blanket. Most of it was mindless betting speculation or outright fan fetishism as people cooed over their favorites in the upcoming bloodshed.

 _'Is this how other civilians see us?'_

 _ **'Why not? This is no different than how your classmates saw - and still see - you.'**_

She hated that small voice in the back of her head sometimes. Like really, really, hated that voice. It never quite let her off the hook for anything and had only grown more antagonistic every time she saw her class baka-.

 _ **'You can't legitimately call him the class baka anymore and you know it. Stop trying to deny the truth you stubborn-!'**_

It was possible to cut out the voice - sometimes. It had been considerably easier to do when she hardly cared for the annoying jibes shared at her expense as it was easier to live in her evaporating Sasuke World. Over the last few months, however, she found the angry little voice in the back of her mind pleasant company once she stopped denying the hard truths fueling its sarcastic comments which often came at the unfortunate expense of her general awareness.

Today though we can excuse Sakura's lack of attentiveness as she wasn't the only one missing how the small stands surrounding the stadium began the slow process of shutting down. To be honest, the cascading disappearance of vendors didn't really start until the last stragglers to the arena began to wander away so they could do so without raising suspicion, the last stand beginning the process of closing up by the time Sakura had taken her place in line with the fifteen other people looking to enter the combat field.

By then the full weight of the remainder of her day was upon her, the roaring of the stadium crowd reluctantly pulling her from quiet introspection to a fully-alert partial panic.

Turning away from the throng headed higher into the stadium through ramped walkways, Sakura waved her way past Chunin stationed to help direct nonparticipants from the deadly battleground. With a final heavy breath and a pat or two to verify her (for the first time ever) fully packed hip and thigh pouches, Sakura resolutely marched onto the field to join her fellow competitors for the vaunted Chunin rank.

It was time to face the day as well as her inner demons.

~III~

Naruto entered the personal box of the Uzumaki Clan ahead of three "guests" dressed in body-concealing cloaks, two of which were distinguished males sporting dark blue or dark green hair hanging about their shoulders followed closely by a female with flowing scarlet hair locks streaked with bright swatches of fiery orange.

"Feel free to enjoy our hospitality. I'll leave you to introduce yourselves to my extended family, starting with my mother, Keina Uzumaki." With a short bow, he saw his way out to join his fellow competitors on the stadium floor.

Keina rose and bowed as she introduced the three guardians and four Sirens in her company with members of the Aburame Clan, her eyes twinkling as she locked smiles with the middle-aged male with powerful shoulders and dark blue hair just beginning to frost at the temples with silver. His eyes the color of a clear lagoon twinkling merrily as he smiled back.

"Greetings, Uzumaki-sama. My family blessed me with the surname Magnus."

Keina purred. "What a powerful name," she cooed as she reached inside his cloak and looped her arms around his. "Tell me more..."

~III~

Monitors all across Konoha were showing the growing crowd flooding the stadium's seats as the anxious sought to gain the most advantageous locations among the poorer masses. The wealthy perched comfortably among the common folk in their isolated clusters, and the powerful sat safely above them all catered to by the small army of trusted servants milling along in their wake. Sitting atop the entire mass of the human horde, the most powerful gathering of shinobi - minus the Tsuchikage of Iwa - not so patiently awaited the start of the day's activities but none so apprehensive as the alert Mizukage, her eyes peeling apart the Genin below their Kage box until they settled upon Shiroi, the one upon whom her final hopes of reconciliation rested.

She would need to get past her first opponent beforehand and, despite a lackluster performance from the surviving clan heir thus far, an Uchiha would be a difficult hurdle if he had that dreaded eye-disease. Mei, bracketed by both Aoi and Chōjūrō, tried to set a proper example for her shinobi hoping it would push her growing sense of unease far enough to the side. She needed to have faith in Shiroi.

How unfortunate that her thoughts would get interrupted by the sensual voice of the delectable Proctor below before she could fully center herself. _Hmm_... Perhaps she could use other thoughts to help her relax as her eyes settled on the lean form of the bandana-wearing shinobi.

~oOOo~

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaadiieeeeeeees aaaaaaaaaannnnnnddd Gentlemeeeeeeeeeeennnn!" Genma was laying it on thick with his arms stretched out to the vast sea of faces settling into their seats with concession stand snacks and pennants showing which elemental nation they supported. His eyes easily took in the bright red flags sporting the symbolic white flames of Hi no Kuni interspersed with the golden foam fingers of Suna or the sea green triangles doing the human wave on Mizu no Kuni's behalf.

The large screens mounted strategically in the four corners of the upper stadium flashed up the image of each competitor along with a rough approximation of their status shown in a spiderweb graph, just enough to indicate if they leaned towards, melee or Jutsu, power or speed. Many in the crowd recognized the fight profiles offered in their event programs as the crowd surged in different sections based on village loyalties.

~oOOo~

Outside the cozy environs of the stadium, the great eastern gate of the village, along with the merchant's access in the southern village wall, closed with a resounding _CLANK_ as gears ground to a halt. All along the mighty village's wall, shinobi gathered in groups of five to chant their way through ten carefully regulated hand seals before slapping their palms to the enormous planks traversing key chakra nodes of their first inner line of defense.

Far from the hungry eyes of the "guests" preparing to watch the bloody death of young exam hopefuls, a wave of chakra spread out from each of the four major gateways to encase the entire wall in a faint blue wave of energy, like blue flames chasing a trail of kerosene, for exactly ten seconds as the great wall sealed itself shut.

~oOOo~

"Welcome to this the final fight day of the first-ever Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunin Exam Feeeeeeeeesstivaaaaaaaaallllllll! We've gathered some of the finest Genin across the hidden villages of the elemental nations as the fight, claw, and scratch their way to the top of the heap." Genma swept his eyes across the entire stadium before flourishing an arm to the far left of the Genin formation facing him.

"Please note the following changes to your fight brochures with the withdrawal of Chōjūrō of Kiri and Konoha's Chouji from Clan Akimichi." He waited patiently as the crowd frantically checked the lineup to see if emergency changes to recent bets needed to be made. "Now that the public service announcements are done, I give you your starting lineup for the first round!"

The crowd's pick up in energy would have been impossible to miss with their eruption of cheers and wolf-whistles.

"From the harsh and unforgiving islands of the Bloody Mist, hailing from Mizu no Kuni, I give you the dreaded Ice Queen of the North, the Frozen Dragon of Destruction," the aforementioned Ice Queen merely raised a delicate eyebrow at her rather enthusiastic introduction, "Shiroi YUUUUUUUU-kiiiiiiiiiiii!"

He grinned at the appreciative nod of his Hokage and waited for the amped-up reaction of the crowd to die down before continuing. As a shinobi, Genma found the theatrics embarrassing but Konoha needed him to keep people focused on the display while other events transpired behind the scenes...

~oOOo~

The crowds outside the stadium consisted mostly of "merchants" who, oddly enough, were not staring at the large monitors mounted to the exterior of the stadium but at the faces of their beloved Hokage monument. Amidst the height of the energetic shinobi introducing the fighters for today's exam, a bright flash of light from a quick burst of fire in the left eye of the Sandaime's sculpted face - the briefest flicker of reddish heat really - caught their attention and, as one, every stall began closing up with the resounding shuddering of wooden windows, slats, and doorways. Once the last stall was securely fashioned in such a manner, the crowds dispersed in four random directions as if the entire group decided to take random strolls at the height of the morning's excitement.

~oOOo~

"And last, but most definitely not least, I give you the deadly melody mistress from Oto, the lethal Siren of Song, Kiiiiiiinnn TSSUUUUUUUU-chiiiiiiiiii!"

Kin slapped the back of Zaku's head as he happily joined in with the crowd having been long since lost in the ringmaster's hype and energy. She had to admit that it was a nice opener considering what they usually saw at events like this but they all needed to focus as the Konoha showman drew their attention for the last of the pre-show shenanigans.

"Thank you, thank you! You're all too kind." The senbon-chewing nin gently patted the air to dull the crowd's roar enough to resume speaking.

"Welcome back to this the final round of the Chunin Exam Festival. Today's matches will be one on one," his eyes swept the competitors now to ensure he had their attention. "Same rules of engagement apply here gang. Do not count on someone to step in and save your life; you're expected to have enough common sense to know when you need to bow out. THAT SAID, if I step in to call the fight, you WILL cease and desist otherwise our trusty ANBU will intervene to recalibrate your attention span."

"The only thing off the table today are Kinjutsu and Juinjutsu. Break the rules, and we reserve the right to break you to ensure compliance and mail the pieces back to your Kages via shinobi courier."

"You've heard the rest of the exam rules so I'm going to cut this short and reaffirm that all previously stated guidelines remain in effect." The crowd in the stadium was starting to ripple with excitement. "Now, show respect to the Daimyo and Kage here to observe you fight with honor!"

Somewhere in the crowd, a steady beat from the repeated stomping of sandals began to build momentum and reverberate throughout the stadium.

"I need Shiroi Yuki from Mizu and Sasuke Uchiha from Konoha to hold tight. If your name isn't one of those two shinobi, then the rest of you need to hightail it to the observation area until your fight is called!"

Genma smirked as the Ice Queen and the Crimson-Eyed Stalker squared off, the Uchiha looking less than thrilled at his stage moniker.

"You folks have five minutes to place your bets!" Genma stuffed his hands in his pockets even as he observed another of his fellow Jounin appearing briefly next to their Hokage to deliver a short message. He didn't need to know what was in it. If the village hadn't properly completed the first step of their plan, that shinobi wouldn't have shown up, to begin with.

The pretty kunoichi wearing a flowing white battle kimono with sleeves both billowy and long enough to nearly drag the ground turned from the proctor to lock eyes with her opponent.

"Nothing personal but you're in my way and I very much need to speak to someone after this is over."

Sasuke, who had been reworking his strategy at the last minute, smirked. "Let me know who it is you need to speak with and I'll send them to your infirmary bed."

The resulting " _Tch_ " from the annoyed kunoichi said that she was clearly not impressed.

"You two ready?" Genma waited just long enough to confirm their brief head nods before chopping his hand downward.

"Hajime!"

~oOOo~

 _Mizu's Shiroi Yuki vs. Konoha's Sasuke Uchiha_

Sasuke's first action was to leap backwards and throw up a single Tiger Seal as he released his favorite Katon Jutsu and the crowd cooed over the display of raw flame blossoming before their eyes like some demonic mushroom as it hungrily devoured the oxygen in the arena with a roar, the air crackling with heat that forced them to lean away from the nearest railing. [Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu]

The Jutsu itself wasn't the fastest moving threat but Sasuke wasn't expecting it to do more than distract her as he drew his chokuto and pushed enough chakra to his feet to dash forward the moment he saw the fluttering of white cloth to the left side of his ball of flame. It was the condensing sound of water freezing that caused him to pull up short on his lunge, a reflex that saved his left eye from being impaled by the girl's chilly reception.

His blade's return strike was met by a crossed pair of extra-long kunai shaped out of ice and cold enough to partially freeze the remaining oxygen around them forming a haloing nimbus of light reflecting from tiny crystals floating in the air. [Hyōton: Hyōken no Jutsu]

"Tch." To make matters worse she stopped meeting his stare, her eyes focusing instead on the dangerous blade clutched in his hand. _'So much for getting in close and ending it quickly with a Sharingan Genjutsu.'_

Sasuke dropped low to sweep his left leg across his body forcing her to go airborne to escape a painful fall. He noticed that her hop took her backwards and away from their current position, his blood-red orbs spinning as they mapped the entire floor. _'I see where you're headed and we can't allow that, now can we?'_

Sasuke's foot planted with a dull _Thump_ and a displaced puff of dust as his low spin concluded, his legs exploding as energy coursed through his muscles to thrust his darting form between her and the small body of water at the far end. To his displeasure, her slim figure was clearly built for speed as she easily kept pace.

"No more witty comments?" he snarked.

His sword dipped low with the ringing hiss of metal splitting air to force her to alter her path in order to avoid a crippling strike to a curvy thigh giving him just enough time to sneak past her halting their mad dash twenty or so meters from her ready source of water. With her objective blocked, he began to press again with quick sword strikes snaking out from his guard aimed at whatever limb he could reach, his blade chipping away slowly at the ice kunai that _PING_ ed in her hands like fine china.

He had her on the run and knew it... right up until the moment he didn't.

Suddenly his eyes spun wildly, his body moving near automatically to bend him backwards until his shoulderblades slapped down onto the harsh stadium floor just in time to watch two icy blades shoot overhead where his chest was moments before. Compressing his abdominals, Sasuke tucked his knees into his chest before kipping up to lung forward, the tip of his chokuto leading the way with its high-pitched whine only for his opponent to barrel roll over his extended shoulder, her foot lashing out in passing to stumble him two paces further than he wanted. The kick didn't hurt but, by the time he'd turned back to face her she was standing comfortably atop the rippling water he'd been frantically trying to keep her away from, her hands in a single seal resembling a deformed Tiger symbol with her middle fingers crossed over her index digits.

Cursing at being out of position, Sasuke let fly with a brace of shuriken from his off-hand and rushed forward only to pause once his deadly projectiles bounced harmlessly off of a vertical sheet of ice just tall enough to protect her. Things only got worse once dozens of identical sheets flickered into being forming a large dome with him at the center of it all. Cursing again, he noticed that there wasn't enough room for him to sneak out between the ice slabs that reflected back his stunned features. [Hijutsu: Makyō Hyōshō]

 _'Mirrors. Shi-!'_

He really started to swear once his opponent's delicate features replaced his own in every surface, one hand slowly rising up from her slender waist gripping a fistful of senbon. Dozens of parroted versions of her voice worsened the chill already racing down his spine with the rapid drop in temperature with the following fifteen words:

"You have wasted enough of my time. I think it's time to end this dance."

~oOOo~

"Bad luck old boy." Asuma chucked another smoke between his lips then reached for his lighter as he offered his condolences. His snarky comment only earned him another frown as Kurenai snatched the unlit cancer stick from his mouth then crushed it to powder.

The audience cooed at a particularly violent burst of fire venting up between the mirror plates of the ice dome.

"Bad luck, old boy," Kakashi retorted with his familiar eye smile.

"Ha... ha..." The former Royal Guardian tucked away his favorite lighter and glanced back down to the half dome leaking cold mist across the stadium floor like an open freezer. "A Hyōton user right off the bat. That's harsh luck that is."

Kakashi's shoulder shrug seemed almost accepting as he flipped another page of his favorite pastime but none of the Jounin watching were fooled. They could see his eyebrow twitch when a gout of flame shout out from between the slender cracks of the dome's roof to no avail; nothing melted, nothing shattered.

"The luck of the dice do not always fall our way," the cyclops opined. He was struggling with the original concept of this being a "learning experience" for his Genin as a way to shake off their laziness. Never once had they considered one of their students would die and an innocent had paid the price for it.

"YOSH! Your hip ways continue to offset the wisdom of your years!"

Everyone NOT Gai winced as his mini-me frantically scribbled each Pearl of eardrum-shattering Wisdom from his sensei's lips. Everyone's abused eardrums found their reprieve once the sound of chirping birds rang out from the stadium floor, their sound mirrored by the flickering lights from between the floating mirror plates like a club strobe light.

"Kakashi," Gai started with zero traces of his over-the-top persona, "tell me you did not teach him that."

"Well..." the elite nin began only to have the still sparking fist of his student pierce through one of the mirrors with the sound of shattering glass only to see the panel repair itself once his hand retracted.

It was immediately followed by a shrieking scream that could only be attributed to the Uchiha.

There was no joviality in the Green Beast's face as he turned to stare with disappointment at the man he considered his life-long rival in Youth.

"I refuse to be scolded by a man that taught his student to open the Gates," Kakashi returned with zero regrets.

Knowing that the discussion had reached an impasse, the two turned their attention back to the stadium floor and the on-going screams of Kakashi's student.

Kakashi absently hoped the boy survived the "experience" he was being given so he could learn from it.

~oOOo~

Inside the freezing cold dome, Sasuke immediately began churning chakra as his hands snapped through seal after seal ending once again on _Tiger_ as his opponent patiently waited. Sasuke's chest ballooned to near comic proportions as he gently curled the two fingers held alongside his mouth to help focus the massive gout of flame searing the air as it screamed across the arena to the first mirror he saw Shiroi step into.

Before the flames could clear and show him the success of his attack, a horrific scream tore from his throat as multiple shooting pains bloomed across his back and the backs of his legs.

 _'Guess I didn't get her with that.'_ He grunted in anger as his eyes rose from the floor to see an unblemished surface filled with the annoyed face of his attractive assailant. _'Only one last trick to think of but I was saving it for the Dobe!'_

"Yield."

Her voice was almost lethargic as if she couldn't be bothered with him and it angered the pride right out of Sasuke. As another searing pain blossomed across his right arm and side, Sasuke swallowed back his pride, grit his teeth, then flew through nine seals as his Sharingan flared. Gripping his clawed left hand, Sasuke's ears welcomed the blessed sounds of many birds chirping.

He didn't care that she wasn't moving to stop him. Her confidence would be her downfall - a thought that tickled something at the back of his mind he felt should be important - right before he shifted his feet fractionally to the left as he charged the mirror he believed the mobile kunoichi to now be hiding inside of.

Violent fingers of _Raiton_ energy waved about like angry tentacles ripping up the earth just beyond the reach of his extended left arm, his right gripping the shoulder as he streaked forward towards his chosen target. Eyes spinning madly as his vision drew to a narrow tunnel, Sasuke pushed more chakra down the length of his burning arm, the network in it screaming its protest at the concentrated fire flowing along its length to the almost numb extremities. _'Push it down... focus... compress it to... A POINT!'_

His opponent, who was reflected in every shiny surface he could see, relaxed her limbs as she waited patiently while the billowing dust trail grew closer by the second.

The narrowing view of his eyes and the bright dot representing his latest weapon coalesced to a point on the slender figure before him, somewhere just above the gentle curve on the left side of her chest.

 _"Chidori!"_ Sasuke's cry of victory brought the nervously jabbering crowd to an eerie silence as every eye focused on the outer dome of the wall right as his fingertips pierced straight through the frozen mirror with a shattering crescendo.

Then his whole back exploded in pain and dozens of pinpricks began to shut down his raging chakra system and the world went completely black.

~oOOo~

All at once, the dome of ice mirrors shattered, the larger pieces breaking up into increasingly smaller and smaller fragments before vanishing with the gentle tinkling of chimes. When the dust cleared, all that was left in the gently rolling fog reminiscent of dry ice was the heavily breathing Shiroi, as she tried to suck in vast amounts of oxygen, and the unconscious Uchiha sprawled out face-first on the hard ground.

"Victor! Shiroi Yuki from Mizu no Kuni!" The simple announcement brought violent cheers from the comparatively small section of the stadium sporting dark blue banners, which were enough to keep pace with the subdued clapping from the remaining seventy-five percent of the audience hoping to make a Ryu off the defeated Uchiha.

"There will be a ten-minute intermission while we resurface the arena and clear away any... slick spots," Genma grumbled as he made way for medical and repair teams.

In the observation area for contestants, Shiroi took the congratulatory nods, though few in number, as they came. Of them all, none gave her more hope for her secondary mission than the respectful one she earned from the Uzumaki scion, something a very attentive Mizukage noticed from her silent perch.

"You have a strong Genin, Mei-dono. Her planning and forethought served her well against the Sharingan Eye," Hiruzen commented almost casually.

Mei accepted the claim with a gracious smile. "I'm counting on that forethought to pull through one more time, Hiruzen-kun."

Her blatantly doe-eyed smile made the older man pink about the cheeks despite his best efforts to resist.

Right below the Kage box, the matchup screen began to flicker and tumble once again, and, when it stopped, the entire stadium erupted once again in unrestrained anticipation.

Genma, smiling up at the knowing nod of the Hokage, grinned at the upcoming bout. _'Well, would you look at that. Back to back blood for the mob.'_

"Gaara no Subaku of Suna and Lee Rock of Konoha!" he called out to the ecstatic fist-pumping of the green-clad Genin. "Get your tails down here for the next round! You have three minutes!"

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** It would seem that the frozen excrement has laterally struck the rotating oscillator. Sasuke would have lost that match against Haku without Naruto. I found it only fitting to include it here in the Finals since the Wave mission was botched.

Remember to **read, follow, and review**. I'd like to see this one actually make it to the 1K review club if possible. Now that would be something.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[A-Rank] Hijutsu: Makyō Hyōshō (Secret Technique:** **Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals):** This technique is performed with the "cursed" Kekkei Genkai of the Yuki clan. Shiroi creates several large mirrors out of ice, which he surrounds a target with. By entering one of these mirrors, Shiroi's reflection will appear in all of them. Shiroi can travel between these mirrors very quickly, giving the appearance that she occupies all of them simultaneously. As such, any attacks she makes from these mirrors - usually rapid volleys of thrown senbon - can overwhelm opponents, seemingly coming from every mirror at once. Using the technique requires a great deal of chakra from its user, meaning they cannot use it indefinitely. In the anime, if the mirror the user is in is broken, they can leap out of one of the fragments and continue their attack or move to another mirror.

 **[A-Rank] Raiton: Chidori (Lightning Release: Thousand Birds):** Kakashi Hatake's first original Jutsu, this assassination technique came about when he tried to add his Raiton element to a Rasengan. Its high penetration capability provides equally high lethality. Because their opponent can easily counter the attack, it requires a Sharingan user to make the technique worthwhile while minimizing the resulting tunnel vision from high-speed motion.

 **[E thru A-Rank; C-Rank as used in the Chunin Exams] Hyōton: Hyōken no Jutsu (Ice Release: Ice Sword Technique):** The user condenses the moisture in the atmosphere into swords of ice that can then be used for close-range combat or shot at a target (short to mid-range, ~10m). As Shiroi's control is not as powerful as her prodigal cousin, Haku, she condenses her blades into extra-long kunai to make them sufficiently strong enough to resist low-ranked Katon techniques or Chunin-level chakra enhanced weaponry. The swords can be formed from great distances away.

 **[C-Rank] Katon: Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique):** A signature short-range (0-5m) technique of the Uchiha Clan used as a right of passage to adulthood, the user kneads chakra in their body and turns it into fire, which they then expel from their mouth; the more chakra they use, the more flames are produced. Sometimes the flames lack a distinct shape, being only a stream, but more often than not they take the form of a giant orb that maintains its shape until hitting a target. Upon impact, the fireball is powerful enough to crater the ground and vaporize the surroundings. Against living targets, the fireball can cause extensive burns. _Seals: Snake → Ram → Monkey → Boar → Horse → Tiger_

 **[C-Rank] Katon: Ryūka no Jutsu (Fire Release: Dragon Fire Technique):** The user spits flames from their mouth that, like a dragon's, quickly travel forward in a straight direction. Upon contact with a target, the affected area is engulfed in flames. Whereas the Great Fireball Technique will burn everything in the vicinity, the Dragon Fire Technique is more narrowly focused at its initial target, likened to a projectile. When first used by Sasuke Uchiha, he uses wire strings to guide the Dragon Fire Technique to his target's face. The anime later shows it burning through a line of enemies, with the flames moving from one enemy to the next. Despite these two cases, the medium range (5-10m) Dragon Fire Technique seemingly does not require a medium through which to be transmitted. _Seals: Snake → Dragon → Rabbit → Tiger_

~III~


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N:** I caught an error in Ino's monologue for the previous chapter's recap. I mistakenly kept Gekkō Hayate as the proctor even though there are subtle references to his death in the chapters preceding. I have corrected that oversight as well as a few other "overlooked" mistakes.

Political conflict is difficult to choreograph across large scales of varying influence. I will admit that it's fun to observe if it flows smoothly. **To answer a Guest comment** , no, the Hyuuga Elders do _NOT_ have the authority to (legally) draw up a marriage contract between the Daimyo's third cousin and the Hyuuga heiress let alone the Yamanaka heiress. That's part of the problem that drew such a heavy-handed response from Hiashi. While the Daimyo holds considerable power, _legal_ dealings involving the children of notable clans would preclude that sort of overreach which implies that he is perhaps less concerned with such a contract if the expectation is that Konoha will, at a minimum, suffer enormous losses and perhaps, just perhaps, the confusion might be enough to allow some underhandedness to take place during the confusion?

 **For the second Guest comment asking how Eito lost his bond with the** _ **Umihebi**_ , I actually answered that at the beginning of Chapter 45 in the Author's Note, the very topic your question posted about. It's the paragraph immediately after the "Hand of Fate" comment. Please reread that section for the full explanation. If it's still unclear, I'll be happy to explain as best I can in the next A/N.

I suppose that I've written and rewritten this chapter enough. It's as good as it's gonna get. Enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Standard Disclaimer:** "Um... did you say something?"

* * *

 _ **Chapter 46:**_ _ **Mono A Mono**_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _The sounds of metal clinking echoed sharply in the brightly-lit apartment for several moments as three pairs of eyes watched apprehensively from the small kitchenette table. The apartment containing this small gathering was modest and functionally barren aside from the warm furniture colors, muted skin-hued walls bereft of ornamentation, and the slightly overlarge floor plan. The apartment's one saving grace happened to be the large bay window looking out over the front courtyard of the building as a perk for being one of the highly prized corner lots; the obnoxious amount of warmth-giving sunlight made a huge difference in the sadistic personality of what folks would normally call the demonically-charged Snake Whore of Konoha._

 _Despite all she suffered for Konoha, Anko was not a perennial favorite so she played up the role as much as possible beyond the walls of her modest home._

 _In truth, it was all a front as the three women patiently sipping Anko's latest herbal blend at her modest kitchen table could and would readily attest to at her next periodic psych evaluation._

 _There are several ways to reliably peek into the life of someone and see what their true inner self, that eerily accurate image we hold of ourselves, that no one wants others to see for fear that their revulsion at who we are deep down inside would drive them away. The quickest option most take involves copious amounts of alcohol being that the devil's drink lowers inhibitions commensurate to the amount imbibed bringing forth that ugly personality we suppress daily through years of practiced dishonesty. Less sought after is the path to uninhibited violence, often avoided due to the uncontrollable rage and extreme levels of pain and suffering required to bring about and contain such homicidal carnage when finally released. Less known but more often used than realized is the far less destructive method of observing your intended subject in their natural habitat where they are often less guarded and at their most vulnerable, a path requiring either unparalleled stealth or far more unfiltered exposure as that much acceptance must be preceded by unabashed self-exposure to the subject in question - you must risk exposing yourself to befriend another deeply enough and to a point where they'd allow you into their personal sanctuary in the first place._

 _Risk begets reward, as it were, especially in the case of these three women chatting at her table._

 _For Kurenai Yuhi, Yugao Uzuki, and Hana Inuzuka, these women had long since opened themselves up to such risk hence the three of them sitting placidly in the warm cascade of sunlight filling their appointed safe haven amidst the flurry of activity that was Anko Mitarashi prepping for the invasion to come._

 _Why do you ask? Why was she scrambling at the last minute when her three friends have long since completed their own preparations? Well, that is because she'd wasted far too much time agonizing over a bronzish-greenish envelope now resting peacefully in the center of the aforementioned table (the current topic of discussion) and the fact that she hadn't written out a response since she received it the night before the exam finals began. As a result, her indecision pushed everything else to the right and that led directly to her current flurry of last-minute activity in combination with her friends being called in to conduct a personal mental intervention on her behalf._

 _If Anko had a conscience then these three women were it._

 _"I don't see what the big deal is," Hana quipped. "She loves him and he's a freaking royal - a smokin' hot royal - so things like this aren't unusual for a royal family trying to rebuild. It happened all the time in the Warring Clans."_

 _"Not everyone shares a pack mentality, Hana," Kurenai sniped._

 _Anko stifled another groan. Those two have been going at it for almost an hour while she packed up for the invasion to come. Rolling her eyes yet again, Anko carefully inspected her standard-issue tanto before snapping the blade home in its sheath._

 _"We've evolved as a nation past the Warring Clans." Kurenai grimaced showing exactly where she stood on that idea. "Also, I can't believe what I'm hearing. You're literally saying that harems weren't a bad thing?!"_

 _Anko tried to keep one ear on the conversation as she jammed another half-dozen Stingers into her hip pouch and strapped her spare bandoleer of six to her sexy left thigh and her main holster to her equally sexy right one and tried very hard not to picture a mop of golden hair buried between them both._

 _"Of course they were! The objectification of women in any form is a bad thing even if the wealthy and powerful claim that it was 'for their protection and well-being'," Hana heatedly countered complete-with-air-quotes. "I'm saying she's not going to get the simple marriage she wants with this guy-."_

 _"He has a name!" Everyone at the table looked up at the interjection._

 _Anko's interruption was not a surprise given the subject. While the three women at the table were fiercely loyal to their Tokujo running mate, even they sometimes forgot how sensitive she could get when they got heavy into a debate and began sterilizing everything associated with the conversation into generic labels. Apparently this included her favorite blond shinobi._

 _Who knew that objectification despite the degrees to which it differed between the sexes could and often did go both ways?_

 _"Right... like I was saying, a simple marriage with... Naruto... isn't going to be an easy thing. He's a freaking royal from a nearly dead clan with an exceptionally dangerous profession." None of the women at the table could deny any of that. "His life expectancy isn't the greatest and his shinobi education, despite making a remarkable comeback as of late, wasn't the most sterling at the hands of Konoha's finest." Hana's eyes flickered briefly to the woman roughly jamming ninja wire and explosive notes (she winced there every time a stack of fifty violently disappeared) into her tactical pack. "On top of that, he comes from a really powerful clan no one important in Konoha wants to see die out or leave the village."_

 _All true comments unfortunately but Kurenai stuck by her prudish guns, which was why Anko loved her as the moral compass of the group._

 _"So, you're saying she should just give up on romance, bend over next to a dozen equally naked women and take it like a champ?!"_

 _Bless Kurenai's archaic devotion to romance as a dead sexy Amazonian kunoichi but, as the other purplette noted, she was single-handedly keeping the conversation moving in an_ _infinitely_ _circular path._

 _"She's not saying that." Yugao's voice was almost nonexistent it was so soft but it got the intended response. They all turned to stare at her, even the edgy woman trying to self-immolate through static energy applied directly to inert tags being violently packed away._

 _"What she's saying is that romance will have to come after she's secured the affections of the man she's been in love with for years despite denying it both on her own and on the orders of her command." Yugao's pained eyes lifted from her still steaming mug and locked with the chocolate orbs of her almost-sister. "You won't get another chance if you don't take it this time."_

 _None of them missed the tear trailing down her left cheek and all of them shared the fresh pain of her recent loss. They all adored Hayate._

 _"What will you do once it's gone?" Yugao summed up just as quietly._

 _They all understood her unspoken meaning of 'what will you do when your love is irrevocably lost after you waited too long thinking you'd always have tomorrow?'_

 _Anko, who'd been eerily silent throughout the morning long debate, broke her mind-meld with her older twinsie and focused on the single envelope resting innocently in the middle of her dining room (such as it was) table, the primary cause for an entire week of chaos and confusion in her life._

~III~

* * *

 _"The true strength of a warrior becomes apparent during difficult times."_

– Respect, One of the Seven Virtues of Bushido.

~III~

* * *

 **~ Chunin Exam Festival, Quarter Finals, Konoha Stadium ~**

"Odd," the relatively young Daimyō from the Land of Wind began, "but I was certainly expecting more from the Uchiha you spoke so highly of." Suguru's fingers were lethargically stroking the immaculate grooming of his oiled mustache and trimmed goatee showing his rakish humor at his peer's expense.

The Fire Daimyo, Masato Shijimi, was clearly not amused as indicated by his refusal to verbally engage a smirking Suguru of the Sand. Why those Suna nutjobs took the name of their beloved desert wasteland was beyond his modern sensibilities. If only the other Daimyo's sharing their rather crowded section of private seating weren't being equally insufferable. It wasn't important as they'd all be humbled once Konoha trounced the invasion force before their very eyes. They'd see then. They'd _all_ see.

Speaking of which, that reminded him of something important.

His thinned eyes cut briefly to Suguru's smug face before turning back to the cleanup effort before the next bout, his fan humming in mild annoyance. It was bad enough they had to sit within several empty seats of their poorer country cousins, their smaller countries unable in most cases of even hosting a hidden village.

Oh, the indignity of it all.

Suppressing the distasteful grimace bubbling up from his core, the elongated features of the outwardly timid leader leaned just enough to his right to cue General Ihro Ueda to lean down and receive his direction as he snapped open his small fan to hide their discussion.

"I want him protected once it starts, General. Give the order."

Without hesitation, the highly decorated combat veteran bobbed a quick bow before backing away to speak hurriedly with one of the two Captains accompanying the Fire Lord to Konoha, the man in question snapping a quick salute before turning on a metal heel to step smartly from the Noble's stadium box housing the elemental nation's ruling class.

The good general stood there for another few seconds indulging in an inner debate as he paused half a heartbeat to consider the ramifications of the action he just took. While the officer's helmeted face would fade from his mind's eye in the next few minutes, just another loyal servant about his master's business, the weight of the decision that sent him would remain until his final breath. After all, it wasn't every day that a loyal samurai disobeyed his liege lord and ordered the death of that lord's subjects without permission or express authority.

After all, what was the issue at heart here? Was it the worthless death of another equally worthless shinobi? They were all without honor as far as Ihro was concerned and that, to the aged warrior, meant that they were all equally beneath his concern.

For forty years he fought and clawed his way up through the ranks to protect this fool of a man that wasted good men like he wasted money, clothes, and wine. To serve him until his last breath, the very thought of lifelong humility in the service of this moron, was a notion that sickened the respected war veteran and he fought daily to keep his subservient mask in place lest he loses his head in the capital.

Here in Konoha it was different. Accidents happen all the time in war...

The general's stern gaze swept around to his sister's husband - the equally greedy Provost serving as the Daimyo's chief advisor during this trip - and nodded, just the barest nudge of his helmet downward to indicate that the deed had been done. Without so much as an acknowledging blink, the even greedier politician turned back to the fights below but Ihro had not been fooled; the general saw the familiar glint of avarice blossom in the overly soft politician's eyes.

The two of them over the past year worked exceptionally hard to keep Danzo's original agreement in place despite the issue being compounded by the sneaky bastard's disappearance and rampant Hyuuga incompetence in containing the situation. More than once the General felt exposed as a result of the nosy Hokage poking around during the forest field test but the slimy Provost came through, in the end, heading off that nightmare. They worked too hard keeping things from the Daimyo knowing discovery, at best, would result in a painful death via ritual suicide, and Ihro planned to be leagues away on his own personal tropical island prior to his guilt ever being exposed.

Juggling two deceptions was always easier with a willing accomplice and he resisted the tiny urge to break his emotionless facade by grunting in humor when his gaze met the back of his Daimyo's frilly headpiece. The fool actually thought he was ordering his men to take up positions supporting Konoha and the new Genin hopeful.

The _fool_ would learn too late the truth.

Casually retaking his position behind and to the right of a far too trusting Masato Shijimi, the seasoned veteran spared the briefest glance at the tweaked corners of the younger man's unblemished face and buried his brief moment of celebration deep in his soul. He'd survived too many brushes with death to fear its embrace now that he'd thrown down his lot with the traitorous scum responsible for the death of a once-great shinobi clan. No, he'd seen the signs in his daimyo one time too many but backing out now, after having come so far, would not end well for him or the ruler of Hi no Kuni.

Sometimes a servant needed to save his master from his own indecision. If he profited from it in the interim, who was to blame him? Losing the support of the one-eyed traitor wasn't enough to stop them at this point since all of the pieces needed to transfer his war prize were in place. Let Konoha deal with the excess - he never considered himself an overly greedy man and the old Uzumaki Clan had plenty of wealth squirreled away, so people said, in the depths of their clan home. The clan's accounts in the capital would be more than enough for Ihro. He could always blame his brother-in-law later and steal his share.

Besides, as one of his best officers, Captain Shun Uchida simply did not fail. Ever.

Speaking of the good Captain, he was striding briskly and confidently through the halls of Konoha Stadium, three carefully selected individuals bearing the distinctive crimson and gold armor of his Phoenix Brigade hot on his heels. A swift hand signal and the individual banners peeking up from between their shoulder blades quickly found their way into the hands of retainers as the squad of four delved deeper into the concrete bowels of the arena.

Captain Ushida never once stopped to consider the morality of his orders. It was not his place to even debate such a thing. Ushida, at his core, was a samurai, and when his general ordered he complied. Simple. He was a soldier of the highest order meant to act as his lord's blade until he earned the right to rule a province of his own on his lord's behalf.

A blade never questioned the deeds of its victim or whether or not its job was righteous.

Its job was to strike true.

He was so into his job that his normally quick feet, which would have side-stepped the masked and hooded figure he collided with, sent the less solid ANBU staggering a step or two as he was bumped into the nearest wall. The good Captain Ushida, being the honorable servant of the Fire Lord, took umbrage interruption of his master's business rather than use his normally gentle nature to smooth the situation over.

"Pick up your oafish feet, shinobi!" Teeth gnashed in irritation, Ushida let his mood show with the briefest flash of intent before allowing the penitent bows of the slightly larger group to calm him enough to move on. Feeling vindicated at their humbled posture and silent apology, the good Captain stormed off rather than see to their proper humility personally. _Weren't shinobi supposed to be lighter on their feet?_

Back in the hallway, the pale-faced lead of the six-man ANBU team lifted one gloved hand to still the angry hissing of his group.

"Let them go," Kabuto's gentle voice cautioned. "They will serve their purpose and we have ours to tend to. We cannot afford to explain why four of the Daimyo's samurai turned up missing."

With only the briefest of mutterings in their wake, the muted padding of their sandals wound upwards through the stadium's innards until the roar of the crowd greeted their hooded ears. Kabuto spent all of ten seconds assessing their location and nodded once to indicate things were as they should be. A quick turn back once they were out and about in the stadium bleachers and upwards to his left soon found the full squad lining up along the wall near the middle rows one tier above and behind the Genin observation pen.

"This will do nicely."

The cold tone of his voice sent shivers along the spines of his "helpers" even as his eyes found the passive face of his Otokage seated next to the Sandaime Hokage, his disguise firmly in place and everything falling in line as it should be.

Now they just had to wait for the signal.

To his immediate left an equally hooded and masked Guren took as large and as quiet of a steadying breath as she was able.

~III~

* * *

"Gaara no Sabaku of Suna and Lee Rock of Konoha!" he called out to the ecstatic fist-pumping of the green-clad Genin. "Get your tails down here for the next round! You have three minutes!"

"YOSH!"

Lee's very jubilant cry did little to ease the suddenly very nervous cadre of Konoha Jounin turning to follow with their eyes a leisurely strolling Gaara of the Desert from his seat to the arena floor below. It would appear that Lee's enthusiasm was shared only by his equally extravagant sensei even if his keen eyes tracked the unstable sand wielder, each nin wondering if the team bouts and his more forgiving demeanor was a fluke.

If it was, Lee's overcharged enthusiasm and refusal to yield very well could get himself killed in a hurry.

Naruto paid it all barely any attention, his mind rolling through a recent spate of discoveries even as his eyes vaguely tracked the figures milling about beneath his bleacher seat in the observation deck. Seeing nothing new from the plucky Goken practitioner, he very nearly missed the unusual shift in Gaara's normal apathy to a rear-bracing defensive stance, his left arm held before his body-palm up and outward with his right handheld with the fingers steeped together, the palm facing the ground behind his feet.

 _'Tai Chi?!'_

That snapped his attention away from more important issues as his mouth dropped open partially as surprise took over. _'Someone taught the Ichibi warden taijutsu?!'_

 _ **"Why so surprised? You learned to fight, didn't you?"**_

 _'Yes, but I had to teach myself mostly until the pervert came along. Even then the Mountain Toads had to finish what he half-ass started.'_

 _ **"Emo does not become you."**_

Naruto snorted gaining the unwanted attention of some of his fellow gawkers.

"Care to share with the rest of us, dead last?" Kiba, along with most of his not-mostly-dead fellow fight losers, continued to share the observation balcony so that they could watch the rest of the fights - since none of the competitors were given tickets. Too bad his loss didn't make his personality - or his very vocal interruptions - any less intolerable.

"I'm the dead last, remember? Surely you're smart enough to figure it out for yourself."

Kiba suddenly found the fight below more interesting than arguing with a former classmate he felt was beneath him.

To be honest, it was a fight worth watching, Naruto's gaze refocusing on the two competitors. Despite the two previous renditions of this encounter in the Chunin Exams, seeing a more active and engaged Gaara was entertaining on some level.

 _ **"Humor me Kit and look to your right."**_

 _'Hnh?'_ Blue eyes snapped in that direction even though he had no idea what the great fox could be interested in. Having been subjected to dozens of different sources of _KI_ or curiosity, he'd been gradually suppressing the associated sensations that came with them all. From mild shivers - as it would take ridiculous amounts of _KI_ to affect him at all - to a dull warmth in the middle of his back or a mild tingling itch at the base of his neck, Naruto was rapidly becoming an expert at ignoring focused chakra projection.

Any other time and the fox would be railing at him not to ignore the stimuli as it could and would keep him alive in heavy combat. Today, however, they both expected it in the observation area and the great Kitsune had given him permission to drown it out.

It didn't mean that she couldn't filter through it all and find interesting tidbits to help pass the time.

 _ **"Hnh, figures."**_

 _'What? What figures?'_ He was interested now.

There was a distinct tinkling sound in the back of his mind as Kyūbi giggled. _ **"The redhead."**_

Kyūbi said nothing more but she'd piqued his curiosity so his eyes snapped up to the Kage booth. Four of the occupants were focused on the match about to happen but the fifth, the chesty woman with luxurious hair the color of cherries locked eyes with him. He counted to three before turning back to the arena floor but those three seconds were long enough for the calm-faced woman's emotions to bleed through his bijū-gifted filters to convey... _hope?_

There was zero anger or animosity as all he could weed out stemmed from worry backed by frustration, lots and lots of frustration.

He suppressed a very strong desire to snort again. His finesse with the Nine Tail's ability to sense emotions was infantile at best. He'd need a great deal more practice with it to become combat effective and, for the most part, left it to his tenant to teach and coax him along.

He'd worry about the Mizukage later. He had other things to focus on in the meantime, his eyes wandering back down to the redhead below patiently waiting for the start of his match.

Right before the proctor began the match, Gaara closed his eyes much to the shock of the entire stadium. Lee, mistaking his opponent's posture as some new demonstration of "explosive youth," reacted in typical Lee fashion by youthfully roaring his encouragement and streaking off to probe the jinchuuriki's defenses with a blistering barrage of punches and kicks delivered at a blurring pace.

Gaara remained calm and poised the only similarity between his previous fighting style and his current one being that he did not move from his stance or location. When Lee struck, Gaara's outer sand defense rose up to intercept the blow as before. However, Gaara reacted this time, his arm sweeping outward in the direction of the perceived attack as a small wave of sand in the shape of a hand lashed out at Gaara's prompting to either shove the green taijutsu phenom away or to try and grab a temporarily blocked limb. The longer the encounter dragged on, the less blocking by the sand became the norm as the floating limb made of grainy earth tried harder to grab his opponent.

To Naruto's surprise, those floating masses of sand were getting closer and closer to success, and, with a very near miss by his fellow Leaf nin, the blond Genin understood why as his focus shifted from the incredible defensive display of his fellow container to the boy's still-closed eyes.

Gaara had learned to track his opponent's movements through vibrations, the very vibrations transmitted through the very thin layer of sand littering the arena floor in a thirty-meter patch like a giant spider web. To make matters worse, the sand demon was getting better at timing his fleet-footed opponent meaning it was only a matter of time before Lee ended up captured in an unpleasant situation. His deduction was reinforced when Lee jumped away to the high perch of one of the statues beneath the Kage box in order to gain enough space to seek permission from his sensei to remove the anchor blocks he called leg weights.

It made little difference despite the increased speed once Gaara adjusted to the new pace. Lee broke through the outer defense in short order, his fist bursting through Gaara's head forcing it to explode in a bloodless shower of sand. The momentary surprise as Lee registered his new "exploding skull trick" was enough for the rest of the sand bunshin's body to surge forward and wrap around the stunned Lee in a **[** _ **Desert Coffin**_ **]**.

Lee gave a great effort trying to escape his capture by opening up five of his gates, much to the disapproval of many observing, but his effort failed when Gaara upgraded his technique to the vastly overpowered **[** _ **Sand Prison Burial**_ **]** , even converting a large swath of the stadium floor into extra sand to keep Lee from shattering the binding construct altogether.

Then the entire stadium held its breath expecting the crazy Suna Genin to crush the raging green grape into wine right up until Genma nervously called the match in Gaara's favor, the latter gently laying the panting Leaf Genin out on an undamaged section of the stadium floor before calmly walking away.

None of them knew that Temari, being fearful of the psychotic blond that held them captive for three days in the Forest of Death, struck a deal with her psychotic sibling and promised to obtain from Gaara's new friend a fresh box of Poky for every opponent he defeated without killing them. Gaara walked away thoroughly pleased with himself his mind already picturing the new flavors he'd be able to explore after glancing to his rather busy bracket on the screen above, his static image moving forward another slot with a happy sounding electronic beep.

Despite the heavy sigh of relief, Temari rose from her seat to approach the apparently surprised star of her recent batch of nightmares wondering what of herself she'd have to offer in order to fulfill her promise to her crazy brother.

She would be equally shocked to receive three free boxes of various flavors (the traditional Mikado - or milk chocolate; Gaara's personal favorite of Strawberry; and the rare _yuubari_ melon flavored Poky) coinciding with her brother's favorite treat and a grateful hug from the blond pleased to hear what she'd done to convince her brother to tone down his behavior.

She was more stunned - and flushed with embarrassment - by the sudden and unsolicited hug from her personal boogie man than the free candy.

~oOOo~

For his part, Naruto tried to ignore the other Jounin instructors chastising Gai for failing to instill a little common sense into his student instead of encouraging the youth to use self-destructive techniques as a last-ditch effort instead of choosing to withdraw until other options were available. He knew from Gai's defiant behavior in previous slides that the green monster wouldn't listen to and didn't care for their opinions, the same instructors that had once dismissed Lee as a hopeless case. As far as Gai cared, Lee would remain his sole burden to bear so their admonishments meant very little to the seasoned instructor when it came to nurturing his pupil's youthful dreams.

Instead, Naruto chose to focus on the current situation and his upcoming role in it. In between a brief visit by the Ichibi's rather nervous sister and the ant-like Chunin resurfacing the arena floor, his mind was busy cataloging the rush of continued activity.

Temari departed after handing her rather pleased looking brother a fresh box of Poky (newly acquired after a rushed bout of haggling from the Kyuubi container) resulting in the rather predictable defeat of Tenten Higurashi. Naruto's one consolation was that the eldest sand sibling did not try to break the defeated kunoichi's back across her metal fan in their first meeting, a noted improvement. As Temari returned nervously to her seat, her worried gaze receiving a subtle nod of recognition from the blond terror, Shikamaru expertly outmaneuvered and defeated Kin Tsuchi from Oto in a very familiar match of cat and mouse. What wasn't expected was when Kankuro defeated Zaku Abumi using _Crow_ when Naruto expected him to forfeit in preparation for the invasion yet to begin. He hoped this meant Suna heard Konoha's warning and opted to change course for the better.

Given that the last three matches were low impact causing next to no damage to the arena floor, he had no time to consider it further before Ino and Sakura took to the floor in what he expected would be a very eye-opening match for the Konoha Twelve even without Sasuke in the stands.

~oOOo~

 _Konoha's Sakura Haruno vs. Konoha's Ino Yamanaka_

Ino could feel the hungry eyes on her back as she took the field, her traditional purple outfit replaced by form-hugging black cargo pants taped from her shins down to her instep. Sure, she modified the pants rode low on her hips held up by the sturdy double-pronged belt holding her utility belt and pouches in place but she wasn't ashamed of her curves.

When comparing her to the boyish frame of her former friend there wasn't much to detract from Ino's stunning form; she was out to put on a show for a certain blond shinobi and wasn't concerned with the perverted eyes shamelessly undressing her. _Let them drool_ kept cycling through her mind and she transitioned into what she dubbed "kunoichi mode."

A dark compression shirt that crept up her neck into a low half-mask still stopped short enough to reveal her taut midsection and the mesh shirt underneath it to protect her unblemished body. That, however, was where the sexy vanity stopped.

A black tactical vest, thinner than the standard Jounin version but lined with high-quality ceramic weave and armor plating over certain vital body parts, sported a number of pockets, weapon hooks, and compartments for whatever she needed. Slim leather bracers (reinforced by Uzumaki seals like most of her gear) had been died the same dark color to protect her forearms leading to the fingerless gloves braced by thin plates of chakra metal on the backs and knuckles.

With all of her hair pulled back into a braided ponytail, she was as ready as she could be for the long road ahead. The very focused look in her eyes as she stared down a minimally geared Sakura said as much.

"A new look won't win Sasuke's heart, traitor!"

 _'More of the same rhetoric from a rabid fangirl.'_ Ino tried not to laugh outright in her face. She wanted to set a good example here and make a clean break from her fangirl days since she had a proper love of her own. They'd all learn the truth soon enough.

It was too bad she'd also need to make a clean break from her former frenemy in the process.

"Nothing to say for yourself, Piggy?!" The Pinkette was shrieking now, nearly frothing at the mouth. "Don't worry! I'll make you scream his name out when you start begging for forgiveness!"

Ino brushed her fingertips across the storage seals inscribed on the outside of her cargo pockets and a pair of reverse-gripped Kunai materialized in her hands as both came up in a tight defensive stance.

Sakura blinked sheepishly thinking, _'Hnh, that's new,'_ right before fumbling a kunai of her own from the holster on her right thigh and taking a textbook perfect beginner's Hakage offensive position.

Seeing that the two were ready and that the crowd was settling down to focus on the fight, Genma chopped the air between the glaring kunoichi and skipped backwards just out of weapon range.

Like her glare, Ino's stance never changed. Sakura fidgeted briefly expecting the blonde to try using her family's jutsu so that she could dodge it and pummel her bloody. Deep in the angry corners of her mind she was planning to embarrass a thoroughly helpless Ino by knocking her out right before stripping her naked in front of the crowd. Sakura had imagined in vivid detail her former friend's extremely public humiliation (topped off by a few facial scars to mar her doll-like face) hoping that it would earn Sasuke's favor, her lecherous glare quite apparent to the Yamanaka heiress.

 _'Poor Sakura... one step forward, three steps back.'_

Seeing Ino's admittedly frightening glare and eerily relaxed combat posture, Sakura gave in to her inner rage monster and charged with a shrieking battle cry.

Ino didn't flinch as her raging classmate closed the distance, right arm drawn back to stab her in the torso.

Shrieking Sasuke's name at the top of her lungs (much to the crowd's pained dismay), Sakura stomped to a stop just short of an arm's length away as her kunai thrust itself forward to stab one of the overly inflated orbs strapped down to Ino's rather healthy chest, a blow intended as a fatal strike to the heart.

It was such a textbook basic attack of the Hakage form Konoha taught to its Genin that Ino nearly dozed during the girl's approach... then her body went into reflexive combat mode.

Ino slipped effortlessly to her left, her left hand (her lead hand) shooting across her body to press the flat of her blade to the soft flesh of Sakura's tricep. The motion forced the Pinkette's strike wide and clear of anything fleshy but Ino felt Sakura wasn't taking the risks seriously so she left a reminder of what a lack of proper training could mean for her friend. Quickly and efficiently Ino slid the flat of her blade upwards at the end of her push, at the very last second, pushed the tip of her kunai forward enough that the blade point broke the skin of her former friend's arm drawing a wicked slice across the unmarred surface Sakura took great pains to keep pale and unblemished in order to catch her crush's eye.

Even as the shock of pain registered in Sakura's bulging eyes, Ino's body dipped downward as her knees flexed and her body counter-pivoted so that the flat of her second kunai could repeat the process while slicing through both cloth and flesh protecting Sakura's squishy stomach. Ino's first strike elicited an agonizing shriek of pain from the Pinkette followed by the hissing-spitting curses of her former friend as she clutched the back of her arm with her unencumbered hand while pressing her right elbow into her stinging side.

Ino, untouched by Sakura's desperate strike danced forward on the balls of her feet spinning to her left so that both blades came up defensively between her and her opponent, her face undisturbed by the sight of her bleeding fellow combatant.

In Naruto's first life, he'd worked and worked and chipped away at the stubborn wills of his teammates dragging them along in his quest to become the strongest Kage with them kicking and screaming the entire way to avoid the "Dobe's taint" of failure. As a result, a slightly less fanatical Sakura managed to pick up a few minor skills after the mission to Wave, one of which had been a passable facility with Genjutsu. That was not the case this time around as neither Chouji nor Kakashi had managed to make much of a dent in her stubborn devotion to the Uchiha and, as a result, her blatant refusal to do anything that might dim her eternal beauty where said Uchiha was concerned, save from her earlier decision to better herself just that morning.

That spur of the moment revelation did little for her progress at the current moment, the underfed damage to her body too far along to correct with a single filling meal. No matter what, her decision to train up had done nothing to break Sakura of her devotion to the idolized image of her tragic teammate.

Her nutrient-deprived epiphany could only provide so much in the way of worldview alterations. Furthermore, her current state of battle fatigue (after less than three minutes) only added further to her frustration at her former friend following her nigh-apparent loss in the match after Ino's unpunished embarrassment of her romantic interest.

Were she rested, fed, and fully-trained perhaps Sakura could have weathered the metaphorical storm buffeting her outlook on life but such was not the case. As a result, her fragile hold on reality surrendered its tentative grip.

It took a few seconds for Sakura to recover, her eyes going crazed for a second right before she charged again this time sans battle cry. Ino let her as the now raging fangirl swung her single blade about with reckless abandon, the blade missing in greater and greater arcs as Ino's lithe body dipped, dodged, swerved, and spun effortlessly away before leaving another shallow slash on Sakura's un-battle-tested flesh. It was becoming childishly easy as Sakura's breathing became more and more labored, her swings becoming less and less frequent.

Coming to rest two paces away from the pink-haired amateur socialite, Ino's hands came up to reveal she'd hidden away her kunai at some point during Sakura's mad charge, the still-raging near-Genin broiling with a new sense of outrage at the not-so-subtle insult.

 _You aren't worth sullying my blades with your blood._

 ** _She's saying we're not worthy to dirty her blades! She's saying we aren't good enough to fight seriously!_** Inner Sakura tried to stoke the girl's rage furnace once more for one final charge. **_Make her pay! Make her suffer! Make her bleed!_**

Summoning what remained of her strength, Sakura lumbered forward with a final gurgling cry, her still-bleeding arm drawn back to support a clenched fist, only to meet the metal knuckles of Ino's own face-first.

~oOOo~

Something dark buried deep down inside Naruto enjoyed the sight of Sakura's head snapping backwards right before her semi-lucid body slipped into full unconsciousness once it struck the earth like a dropped plank of wood. Here he was in his third time through life and she was the same spiteful creature she'd been before Sasuke's abandonment of the village left her with no alternative but to grow up.

It was petty thinking but seeing the Pinkette that droned on about Sasuke-teme getting knocked down a peg or two by the smokin' hot kunoichi he personally trained felt good.

Naruto chuckled briefly from his viewpoint in the observation deck. The total fight barely broke the two-minute mark, most of it filled with Sakura's unintelligible shouts as she hopelessly tried to fillet Ino. The blonde's almost casual punch to the bridge of Sakura's nose would most likely black both eyes and lead to bandages across the bridge of her nose but he desperately hoped it also would metaphorically open them later, bruised ego or not, as to how outclassed she'd been thus motivating her to train seriously.

One could hope.

His snarky laughter turned to an appreciative smile once his eyes settled on the gently swaying hips of the match's winner as she calmly strolled back up to the observation deck. He noticed too late that she caught his stare when a perverted blush made him tear his eyes upwards along her very curvy form to catch her wink in his direction.

 _ **"Busted, perv."**_

 _'Gimme a break, Kyuubi. Can't you see what she's taunting me with?!'_ In his defense, her body was a weapon in and of itself but the fox apparently was unsympathetic to his plight.

 _ **"Super-Perv!"**_

Being compared to his worthless godfather was not on his to-do list today. Naruto tried not to facefault as the match he was hoping to see came up before his own with Neji.

 _'Saving the best drama for last I take it.'_

Resting fully on the guardrail, Naruto settled in to watch Suigetsu Hōzuki of Kirigakure no Sato take on the mummified Dosu Kinuta from Oto.

~III~

* * *

A braided tail of blonde hair thwapped lightly onto the taut back muscles of Kumo's Nibi jinchuuriki as she landed softly on the rooftop of a building facing the Arashi Seal Consortium. Having adapted quickly to the richer air at Konoha's elevation, she was feeling much better than normal, her mood far to pleasant to sulk about in absolute silence while moving around.

Besides it wasn't like there was anyone out to even notice her given how creepily empty the streets were.

Taking another quick glance about the normally busy cobblestones beneath her rooftop perch, the slim kunoichi made another mental note of the Oto shinobi slinking their way towards the shinobi academy. Despite her frowning lips and pinched eyebrows it wasn't her fight and, on her Kage's orders, she would stay clear of all unnecessary drama.

Once the motley crew of potential hostiles were beyond her keen sight, Yugito counted slowly to ten before dropping to the alley beneath her high ground then calmly, with both hands behind her back, sauntered casually without a care in the world across the empty street to stop before the storefront and try the door handle. Much like the frustrated group before her now moving on to easier pickings, the handle refused to budge but a quick glance through the paned (and completely vacant) storefront explained why.

It was empty. It was completely empty meaning even the shelves had been taken if the cleaner outlines on the tiled floor were any indication.

 _'Oh, Raikage-sama isn't going to be very happy about this.'_

Glancing into the back of the front store area she could tell that even the counter and cash register were missing, the walls as barren as the Suna desert. The place had been picked clean _before_ the vultures could arrive to feast.

 _ **"Wasn't the whole point to coming here for your leader based on the slim chance to get back in the merchant's good graces, kitten?"**_

The container paled slightly at Ay's possible reaction to the news even as she searched for a note or some announcement announcing where the storefront may have relocated to. Finding nothing helpful she searched around the entire building for a way in (without breaking and entering) only to give up once she noticed in despair that even the company sign out front had been removed.

With a slightly reduced but still cheerful mood, Yugito Nii took to the rooftops on her way back to the arena to share the unpleasant news.

~III~

* * *

Suigetsu's victory was underwhelming to say the least. Perhaps he didn't think Dosu warranted a real effort but Naruto didn't see anything between the Kiri nin's team match and this individual bout to make him nervous.

The "Second Coming of the Demon" as he often loudly referred to himself in the observer's area didn't have the strength to wield his stolen prize one-handed unless he used some unknown jutsu to swell up his right arm increasing his strength. Even then his arm speed was far below Zabuza's skill.

Naruto caught the odd move or three borrowed from the Water Dance he'd partially mastered under Umi but Suigetsu tended to use them as finishing moves often yelling absurd titles he was sure no one in the Grotto would admit to knowing. He'd yet to hear Umi bellowing "Super Fantastic Tsunami Crusher!" at the top of his lungs during any of their spars the past month. If Naruto had to guess, whatever Kisame shared with Kiri when he handed over his stolen fang had been turned into some sacred technique over time, the name growing disproportionately out of scale to the two or three (he wasn't sure if the _'Dreaded Mountain Crusher'_ Naruto knew as a horizontal one-eighty-degree slash counted as a finishing move) basic moves he learned in the first week of his training.

No, Suigetsu had not earned the right to die by his sword, _The Eternal Fang._

He was barely good enough to sever Dosu's arm bearing the Melody Gauntlet the nin loved so much after five minutes of chasing his opponent across the entire length and breadth of the arena. Dosu spent the entire time trying to avoid Suigetsu's sweeping swipes with the blade turning the match into a near parody of a child's cartoon only to suffer the loss of both limb and match in the end.

"I need Naruto Uzumaki of Uzu no Kuni and Neji Hyuuga of Konoha down here for the final match of the first round! You have three minutes to wrap up your wagers before the action begins!"

Genma's voice cut through the chatter of his mind to snap him forcefully back to the real world as the excited chatter of the arena began to pick up.

~oOOo~

Everyone in the Kage box leaned forward in their seats to match the intensity flowing from the observation area housing the remaining contestants, previously defeated Genin hopefuls, and their Jounin senses. Hiruzen took particular note of his student's interest and concluded the slippery bastard was after two prizes, neither of which the old man could allow him to corrupt with his brand of evil.

The line he could not draw before his betrayal to the village had to be drawn.

~oOOo~

"I don't need to explain the rules to you two, do I?" Genma's face was stern as he tried to convey there would be no more shenanigans like he saw during Neji's last match.

Neji smirked but nodded his head once in response.

"Hai," Naruto whispered as he cracked his neck and loosened his shoulders in preparation.

Once Genma's hand raised, Neji slid easily into his favored combat stance without a word, his eyes pulsing with chakra as he wordlessly intoned his clan's doujutsu.

"No ramblings on fate this time, Neji?" Naruto's eyebrow was quirked in amusement as the stadium ground to a silent halt so people could listen in.

"Why discuss what is a foregone decree? The others will see once I've won anyway."

Naruto shrugged and eased into the first stance of the _Tetsuken_ as his body pulsed once with visible chakra energy.

When Genma chopped the air this time his body was already in motion as he leaped to the relative safety of the stadium wall.

Naruto's smile went from casual indifference to sadistically cruel as a clone shimmered into existence halfway between himself and Neji, slammed the backs of his metal gauntlets together with a resounding clang of metal striking metal, then charged forward, its chakra body taking on a dim blue aura. Naruto eased out of his stance and folded his arms as if studying a bug. Neji returned the grin with a smirk as he awaited his opponent for the first round.

"Too afraid to face me, Uzumaki?" The older shinobi's face carried an insulting sneer as he stepped backwards to deflect the clone's lead strike. He kept that sneer up until he received his first shock of the match.

The clone fluidly slid into a lunging strike, its body extended just a bit too far exposing the right side of its ribcage. Being an exceptionally skilled taijutsu expert, Neji flowed effortlessly into a pivot as he spun to the clone's exposed flank shooting the pointer and index fingers of his own right hand into the shortribs of the copy, his hand ablaze with his own chakra. Smugly, he kept his eyes firmly on the original as if to say, _'Really? This is the best you have to waste my time with?'_

 _TIIINNNNNNNGGG!_

His fingers jabbed into the clone's body and it felt as if he'd struck a metal plate. The fact that the clone did not disrupt as he expected, the fact that his blow produced a resounding ring of something striking a metal bell or sheet metal plate, and the fact that his fingers felt as if he'd jammed them striking something as unyielding as real metal promptly removed the smirk from his face. Neji just as promptly hopped sideways and away from the responding sidekick of the clone as he clutched his fingers and frantically shook his hand to return normal operation to them. A quick glance forced his eyes from the original and on to the clone showing that insufferable grin on the copy's face as it resumed a lazy combat stance, its lead hand beckoning the Chunin hopeful.

Cursing this resilient clone after it survived his initial strike, Neji resumed his Jyuuken offense mentally switching to flat palm strikes vice the more accurate finger pokes of his clan's chosen style. Perhaps he just needed a larger influx of chakra to disrupt the shadow clone's shell?

The original's smirk grew as he calmly folded his arms across his chest. "Who is afraid? I just don't think you're strong enough to face me directly. Cue exhibit 'A'." He motioned to the grinning copy with a lazy hand.

Neji snarled even though his brightly glowing eyes drilled down onto his near opponent.

"You're going to need to earn the right to face me directly, Neji."

On that note, the clone charged with a much more conservative defense and, before Neji knew it, he was in a furious battle of skill while trying to deliver a much more punishing blow to an opponent with very few honest openings. Much to his annoyed realization, he admitted to himself that their first engagement must have been a feint to test the clone's defense against the Hyuuga's taijutsu.

Apparently the defense was winning.

Neji gnashed his teeth and swore silently to prove the Jyuuken superior to whatever trick this no-good loser had up their sleeve (the whole time praying for forgiveness while fighting against someone he considered a hero to his family). With a strangled growl, he began using more palm strikes as he bore down to crank up his hand speed...

~oOOo~

Hiashi's breath caught in his throat as he watched. Beneath the privileged box he shared with his daughter and elder clan members his nephew waged a war of attrition with his eldest's savior.

"I do not understand Neji's difficulties with the de-... I mean, with the Uzumaki urchin." Hiroaki's voice was a petulant whine just off Hiashi's right shoulder.

"Never fear brother," Hiroki Hyuuga sniffed distastefully. "They boy will vindicate his clan or he will suffer for his shortcomings."

Hiashi's teeth began to slowly grind behind the working muscles of his jaw through a combination of worry and irritation.

To his immediate right, an increasingly nervous Hanabi forced her eyes back to traditional impassivity as she silently urged her cousin on to victory, the high-speed _Ting-Ti-Ti-Ting-GONG-TIIING-GOOOOOOOOOOOONG_ sounds of Neji's palms being blocked or slapped aside by the powerful clone he still hadn't defeated.

Neither paid attention to the Branch members being swapped out near the rear of their box seats, some encouraged by the brute force of surprise Jyuuken strikes to the back of the head.

~oOOo~

Neji dropped to the ground, his right leg sweeping out counterclockwise as the clone hopped up and away from his spinning opponent. Making a complete turn, Neji rose from the dusty ground like an apparition, his hands coming up in the standard defensive posture of the Jyuuken's fifth kata and what he saw made him blink in surprise.

Not fifteen paces away from where he gaped stood the original and his clone, the copy standing next to what he believed was the original with his back to his opponent. Biting back the angry comments the clone's disrespect brought to the surface, he instead focused on what the two were doing.

The clone was talking, too low for Neji to hear but the original, whose eyes were still locked on the long-haired Hyuuga, was nodding in agreement as he followed along.

Then the clone vanished with an audible pop and a very small cloud of smoke that wafted away on a gentle breeze.

"Okay then, Neji," the original sighed out with a gentle shrugging of his wider shoulders. "It's time we end this farce."

Naruto stepped forward five paces then slid into a very aggressive stance with his gauntleted gloves hovering near either side of his chin. "Time for you to pay up."

For some peculiar reason, Neji thought back on the difficult time he had with the shadow clone and did not feel at all comforted by having to face the original. Unfortunately, he could not afford to let on that he was so concerned.

The two charged and the combat began anew but Neji immediately found the difference between a clone and the original; the original was fast enough to easily keep pace with Neji and that was a problem.

Neji's palms were a blur of motion, blue streaks trailing behind his strikes as he paced his breathing to prevent fatigue. Whatever blue chakra shell the clone used the original was capable of using and that meant Neji couldn't see his chakra network - all he saw was a skin of solid energy covering Naruto from head to toe. This meant Neji couldn't target a chakra network he couldn't locate. So limited, he had to rely on basic anatomy.

While every Hyuuga developed the Byakugan, they weren't born proficient with it. It took years to develop the necessary combat-level precision and technique required to master the clan's taijutsu to the level where chakra networks could be disabled in real-time. The skill was terribly disorienting for the novice so students learned to strike larger targets within the body, like large muscle groups and bone joints. As their skill improved, they learned to target smaller areas like a heart or lung or kidney. From there it was only a small jump to tenketsu points and chakra coils.

Given that Neji couldn't end the fight back crippling his chakra network, he regressed to his roots and began focusing on easy to target muscles like his opponent's thighs, abdominals, and shoulders. One way or another, he was going to- _gurrk!_

Fighting the overwhelming desire to collapse into a helpless heap on the stadium floor along with his blurring vision, Neji's body crumpled as a metal fist struck him beneath his ribcage jamming the smaller bones up and into his diaphragm. As the air rushed from his body, most of his strength fled along with it as he staggered away from the outstretched hand curled into a fist.

The blow had rocked his entire frame and his left arm was hanging limp at his side as his right arm cradled his side. _'Step backward, try to dodge, suck in air, and force it down!'_

Neji didn't remember ever being struck so hard before. He prided himself on being agile and fast enough to avoid Lee's stone-crushing attacks but, even amongst his inferior teammate, he had to tank the occasional lucky strike. This was far worse and he was definitely in trouble if he couldn't regain his equilibrium.

He was injured and his opponent knew it.

Neji swayed to his left trying to keep his injured side turned away from Naruto's searching fists, the wind howling as his metal gauntlets shredded the air with each strike. One block. Two blocks. A narrow dodge followed. He frantically leaned to his left, his right arm coming up to deflect a wild haymaker as the blond boy spun clockwise nearly two-hundred and seventy- _oh no!_

He realized too late that, while Naruto was in the air, his right leg had chambered up near his hip during the spin resulting in that same leg shooting outward and into his now exposed ribcage with a teeth-rattling crunch.

Neji folded nearly in half as his body shot across the stadium reacting violently with the wall. There was a brilliant flash of white before darkness claimed his senses.

He never heard the proctor call the match on behalf of his blond opponent and secret hero.

~oOOo~

Naruto turned to walk away once the proctor dashed over to confirm that Neji was out of it, his deep blue eyes glancing up towards the box holding the gnashing visages of the Hyuuga Clan. He ignored the angry-looking group of old men in favor of sending the briefest nod to the younger clan head holding his breath.

Uzu's Daimyo calmly returned to the combatant viewing area hiding a gentle smirk as a pair of fast-moving med-nins covered the stadium floor to retrieve the unconscious Neji Hyuuga.

He barely heard the proctor yell to the crowd that there would be a thirty-minute break as they prepared for the second round of matches.

 _'Good luck, Neji, and farewell.'_

~oOOo~

"It takes a powerful fighter to overcome a Hyuuga in taijutsu," Ay mumbled in appreciation. The boy was indeed skilled and faster than he appeared.

"Skilled yes, but he didn't provide anything sufficient to merit his performance worthy of promotion," Hiruzen countered.

"True but he will have the opportunity to do so in his following match. Besides, would you truly suppress such a powerfully talented shinobi? Were he in Suna, I'd have a specialist badge on his uniform by the end of the week."

"It is a fortunate happenstance that we are not in Suna then," a stone-faced Hiruzen intoned somberly to the hissing disbelief of more than one Kage sharing his box.

The Kazekage peered up at the electronic board showing the evolving bracket as did every other Kage following his gaze. "I for one am excited for his next match and what it will reveal. Raw strength will not help him against the Mizukage's kunoichi."

Hiruzen frowned despite his hateful former student being correct. Overwhelming physical power would not help Naruto against the Kiri speed fighter, especially should she use her _Hyoton_ bloodline limit.

"We shall have to see, Kazekage-dono," was all Hiruzen would say on the matter.

~III~

* * *

Tenten, though not competing was enjoying the company of her other teammate in the observer's box even with the boy's crestfallen face. Lee was not shouting about the benefits of youth. He was not spouting off some ridiculous physical challenge any sane person would consider suicidal. Neither was he glaring with the "Blazing Orbs of Youth" at his now defeated eternal rival.

Lee, for the moment, was a normal Genin as he processed the crushing defeat of his teammate and one-sided friend at the hands and feet of another and her heart went out to his crushed spirit; a subdued Lee, no matter how peaceful, was not a thing of nature.

Instead, Tenten turned her eyes across the breadth of the observation deck and spied the target of both her affections and Lee's crestfallen trepidations, the Uzu Daimyo she hoped to win for herself. He was slumped backwards, his arms resting lazily on the bench seat behind him staring blankly out into the far side of the stadium. More importantly, he was sitting and staring all by himself.

Tenten shot a look to Ino wondering why the admittedly sexy kunoichi (it still hurt to admit that bit), who clearly dressed to catch his eye, wasn't all over him. From where she sat, her ploy worked admirably before, during, and after her match (much to Ten's bitter jealousy as she could have dressed like that!) so why wasn't she capitalizing on it? Plus, why were his teammates so far away from him?

It made no sense.

With a final pat to the despondent arm of her green teamie, Tenten slid out of her spot and crossed the observation deck, much to Ino's teeth-gnashing unhappiness, to see what was bugging the rich, powerful, and handsome husband she refused to share with another woman. I mean... she needed to explain why she was turning down the Uzu CRA after all and now seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Too bad that hussie from Kiri with the billowy sleeves had to beat her to it!

~oOOo~

Shiroi had been watching the dynamics of the "fighter's lounge" as they'd been calling the bleacher corner and found the Konoha Genin, with few exceptions, painfully obvious to read. It's why the bun-haired weapons thrower getting bold all of a sudden irked her. This was a perfect time to deliver her Kage's message and she'd be damned if this clanless tart was going to ruin it for Kirigakure.

So, with a well-placed ice mirror, she vanished to appear standing directly in front of, and in between the male's widespread legs, presenting her supple form in a slightly intimate and seductive position to gain his attention. The fact that she popped up just as the weapon user was opening her flabbergasted mouth to speak was just a bonus.

"Greetings, Daimyo-sama." Shiroi noted that his gaze was remarkably focused as she stepped from her mirror as if he knew she was coming to see him. _'Peculiar.'_

Tenten quietly seethed at the rude hussy literally cock-blocking her in the cheap seats.

Naruto motioned that she should continue with a brief nod of his head. Shiroi, in turn, bowed until she was sure he could see the slightly opened neckline of her kimono framed between her flowing curtain of chocolate hair. Mei-sama was planning to offer her up as a political marriage anyway so, loyal kunoichi that she was, she figured now to be the perfect time to get a jump on the pending nuptials with a little seduction. He was a fresh Genin still so what could he know of seduction?

"Kiri offers his greetings with the following salutations endorsed by the Yondaime Mizukage, Mei Terumi."

She had loosened her chest bindings enough during the break to show more of her admittedly modest just-shy-of-C-cup assets since she wouldn't be fighting anymore. It would allow her elbows to push her meager holdings together enough to hopefully gain a physical response. Boys were simple creatures and liked cleavage, didn't they? Well, Haku was barely a B-cup so maybe he was more of a butt guy and her lack of back pain-inducing hooters wouldn't be a problem? Hoping her slightly larger chest would give her an edge, she gently clasped her hands between her thighs and pressed inward with her elbows ever so gently so as to not make her intentions blatant.

She inhaled deeply to produce a noticeable swelling and continued since he didn't interrupt her and she couldn't see his face with her head bowed.

"First, Kiri recognizes your grudge against the Seven and will set aside claim to the Severing Blade, the Kage herself viewing your upcoming match with Suigetsu, should he win, as an honorable duel per the standing rules - should you accept of course."

In the corner, the so-named Genin was grinning like a shark hoping the worthless Genin wouldn't chicken out, his grin (and Tenten's gaping mouth) both growing wider as he verbalized his consent.

"Second, I will officially withdraw from our match and Kiri - win or lose in the aforementioned duel - officially requests a meeting to discuss their third stipulation intended as a peace offering between our two nations in the hopes that it will foster goodwill between Umi and Uzu."

She couldn't see Naruto's eyebrow rise as his interest piqued but she could see his rock-hard core flex as his head tilted to one side, his movements and the blood rushing to her head making it harder to fight down the rushing warmth to her cheeks. She also couldn't see Tenten Higurashi's eyes bulge as the bun-haired girl's arm shot up to interrupt only to be cut off by Naruto's own curiosity.

"What could Kirigakure offer to garner such goodwill?"

The silky mane shifted as her head rose just enough to show her eyes taking in his muscular body with definite feminine interest, her mouth curling up to one side in what could only be considered a naughty smirk. Her elbows squeezed just enough to catch his obvious attention as his eyes dipped without shame once again to her neckline.

"Why, me of course."

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** I was hoping to finish up the Exams with this update but there is still a lot to work through especially with the nobles getting involved. I figured keeping this update back trying to push out a 40K word chapter would be cruel and unusual and this seemed like a good breaking point. Lots of questions and resolutions still await. Will Mei succeed and get what she wants? Will Ay catch a break and get out from under Ōnoki's thumb? What is the strange relationship between Neji and Naruto? Does Tenten have an actual plan and how will she deal with Shiroi? What will Anko do?

This chapter just introduced all sorts of questions on the path to answers, didn't it?

Remember to **read, follow, and review**. Reviews encourage writers to update faster, or so I'm told.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Gokusamaisou (Sand Prison Burial** **):** This technique is performed with the "cursed" Kekkei Genkai of the Yuki clan. Shiroi creates several large mirrors out of ice, which he surrounds a target with. By entering one of these mirrors, Shiroi's reflection will appear in all of them. Shiroi can travel between these mirrors very quickly, giving the appearance that she occupies all of them simultaneously. As such, any attacks she makes from these mirrors - usually rapid volleys of thrown senbon - can overwhelm opponents, seemingly coming from every mirror at once. Using the technique requires a great deal of chakra from its user, meaning they cannot use it indefinitely. In the anime, if the mirror the user is in is broken, they can leap out of one of the fragments and continue their attack or move to another mirror.

 **[C-Rank] Sabaku Kyuu (Desert Coffin):** Sabaku Kyuu is a Ninjutsu technique utilized by the Sand ninja Gaara. Gaara will cause sand to rise from the ground and wrap around the legs of his target, making them restrained in place. The sand will then rise up to fully encase the target. This technique alone can crush the bones of his opponent but the technique is usually used to prepare the victim for the Sabaku Sousou (Desert Funeral) technique.

 **[E thru A-Rank; C-Rank as used in the Chunin Exams] Hyōton: Hyōken no Jutsu (Ice Release: Ice Sword Technique):** The user condenses the moisture in the atmosphere into swords of ice that can then be used for close-range combat or shot at a target (short to mid-range, ~10m). As Shiroi's control is not as powerful as her prodigal cousin, Haku, she condenses her blades into extra-long kunai to make them sufficiently strong enough to resist low-ranked Katon techniques or Chunin-level chakra enhanced weaponry. The swords can be formed from great distances away.

 **[C-Rank] Suna Bunshin no Jutsu (Sand Clone Technique):** Suna Bunshin is a Ninjutsu technique utilized by the Sand ninja Gaara. The clone functions like a normal Bunshin except it is made out of sand. The clone itself can be formed out of the Suna no Tate that protects Gaara. When a ninja goes to attack the Bunshin, the malleability of the sand allows the blow to sink into the sand, which can then wrap itself around the limb to constrain the attacker.

~III~


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N:** I'm feeling the love. Thank you for the positive feedback on the story and I hope that you continue to enjoy the work. Not all of you will but that's okay also. I went back to look at the overall life of this story and, to date, there have been 198,966 views so thank you for at least taking an interest in it. Every writer, even a part-time amateur one like me, likes to know that people kinda-sorta are interested (even if most of you buggered off somewhere else). Then it hit me.

What if 1 percent of the people that viewed this story left a review? Anywho...

For the poor soul that can't tell the difference between a Dothraki and a Mandalorian... I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps binge some Netflix this weekend? Expand your horizons? It's not like the show just started yesterday.

For the rest of you, enjoy as you will.

 _~Siva'a-tasi_

~III~

* * *

 **Standard Disclaimer:** "Did you know that the human head weighs 8lbs?"

* * *

 _ **Chapter 47: Seduction, Lies, and Custodial Monitoring**_

~III~

* * *

 **~ Previously on No More ~**

 _The sharp sounds of combat reached her ears even as she entered the open-aired box filled with her contemporaries. A pained, and somewhat surprised, shout from the arena floor drew Keina's sight for a brief moment as she glided quietly past the very focused attention of the Yondaime Kazekage, her lips quirking into a half-smile at the sound of Neji's muttered cursing._

 _Sound, any sound, really carried in the perfect acoustics of the great fight dome but the Hyūga's loss of decorum brought a special warmth to her heart. While she understood Naruto's desire to help the oppressed and dysfunctional family, she thought the uppity branch member needed a severe kick in the rear for his behavior over the previous year._

 _Naruto, in her opinion, was still too much of a softy at heart._

 _Pausing to present the Sandaime Hokage with the briefest of head nods, she silently padded past him to take her reserved seat on the far side of Mei Terumī willing herself not to stab the traitorous wench in the boob. No, her father's actions during the war were not her fault. Yes, Keina was old enough to know better than to transfer that blame to someone barely a child at the time. The fact that Mei knew where the_ Fang _originated from yet did nothing about it still rankled the Uzumaki Blade Grand Master but she'd have to let it slide._

 _Sochi would take care of it. Sochi had a plan to take care of it all._

 _"Uzukage-Dono."_

 _The warm greeting from her fellow redhead almost caught Keina by surprise._

 _"Mizukage-dono," she nodded back but did not linger in the conversation. Both women locked eyes on the combatants below and listened intently to the grunted-slash-bell ringing sounds from the two fighters._

 _"His clones are powerful," Mei opened up idle chit chat_ _with_ _only to be disappointed at the grunting response from her fellow kunoichi. A quick glance, a flicker of her eyes proved that the stubborn Uzumaki hadn't looked up from the fight once since she sat down. A grim thought flitted across Mei's mind at that moment._

'Our histories as villages aren't the greatest. Am I trying too hard to make amends?'

 _The sound of the clone disappearing with an audible "pop" caught everyone's attention._

 _"What is he doing? He had the boy contained and could have won the fight without lifting a finger?!" Ay seemed confused until Keina finally spoke up._

 _"He's sending a message, Raikage-dono."_

 _Four pairs of eyes glanced her way simultaneously wondering what kind of message the broody and isolated Whirlpool Genin felt the need to send and to whom? Four disappointed frowns spawned when she refused to elaborate further._

 _Behind his Kage, a one-eyed shinobi hoped that the soon-to-be-sent message was not directed towards his ruler as he sent a furtive glance to the disguised figure imitating Suna's Kazekage. He'd provided his warning to Mei the night before and could only hope they both made it out of this mess in one piece once all hell broke out._

~III~

* * *

 _"You can't make the same mistake twice; the second time you make it, it's not longer a mistake. It's a choice."_

– Unknown.

* * *

 **~ Chunin Exam Festival, Quarter Finals, Konoha Stadium ~**

"Greetings, Daimyo-sama," Shiroi noted that his gaze was remarkably focused as she stepped from her mirror - almost as if he knew she was coming to see him. _'Peculiar.'_

Tenten quietly seethed at the rude hussy literally cock-blocking her in the cheap seats.

Naruto motioned that she should continue with a brief nod of his head.

Steadfastly ignoring the two masked women seated just behind her target, Shiroi, in turn, bowed until she was sure he could see the slightly opened neckline of her kimono framed between her flowing curtain of chocolate hair. Mei-sama was planning to offer her up as a political marriage anyway so, loyal kunoichi that she was, she figured now to be the perfect time to get a jump on the pending nuptials with a little seduction. He was a fresh Genin still so what could he know of seduction? _'Every male loves the soft curves of feminine charms.'_

Her normal jitters before a mission began started to fade with her growing confidence. _'It's a shame I'll have to kill him once we conceive. He's sexy but I wonder what he looks like up close without the mask?'_

"Kiri offers his greetings with the following salutations as endorsed by the Yondaime Mizukage, Mei Terumī."

~oOOo~

From the Kage Box, Mei's breath caught in her throat enough to catch Keina's amused interest, the barest corner of her lips turning upward.

"Everything okay, Mizukage-dono? Mizukage-dono?" Keina had to call her a second time just to catch her very focused attention.

"Huh? Oh! Oh, yes... everything is-. I was just surprised by the Uzu Daimyo's combat skills."

The woman was clearly focused on the hunched over form of the kunoichi trying desperately to win her sochi's attention. _'The girl was most likely an assassin.'_ While Keina admitted the girl had a nice shape, it wouldn't be enough to earn the Terumī traitor the alliance she so desperately needed.

Keina leaned back to enjoy the show as her Siren guard stepped away to get them refreshments available at the buffet behind the gathered leaders.

~oOOo~

Shiroi had loosened her chest bindings enough during the break to show more of her admittedly modest just-shy-of-C-cup assets since she wouldn't be fighting anymore. It would allow her elbows to push her meager holdings together enough to hopefully gain a physical response. Boys were simple creatures and liked cleavage, didn't they? Well, Haku was barely a B-cup so maybe he was more of a butt guy and her lack of back pain-inducing hooters wouldn't be a problem? Hoping her slightly larger chest would give her an edge, she gently clasped her hands between her thighs and pressed inward with her elbows ever so gently so as to not make her intentions blatant.

She inhaled deeply to produce a noticeable swelling and continued since he didn't interrupt her and she couldn't see his face with her head bowed.

"First, Kiri recognizes your grudge against the Seven and will set aside claim to the _Severing Blade_ , the Kage herself viewing your upcoming match with Suigetsu, should he win, as an honorable duel per the standing rules - should you accept of course."

In the corner, the so-named Genin was grinning like a shark hoping the worthless Genin wouldn't chicken out, his grin (and Tenten's gaping mouth) both growing wider as he verbalized his consent.

Neither one saw Ino fumbling to snatch a kunai from her holster while her spiky-haired teammate struggled to restrain her.

"Second, I will officially withdraw from our match and Kiri - win or lose in the aforementioned duel - officially requests a meeting to discuss their third stipulation intended as a peace offering between our two nations in the hopes that it will foster goodwill between Umi and Uzu."

She couldn't see Naruto's eyebrow rise as his interest piqued but she could see his rock-hard core flex as his head tilted to one side, his movements and the blood rushing to her head making it harder to fight down the rushing warmth to her cheeks. She also couldn't see Tenten Higurashi's eyes bulge as the bun-haired girl's arm shot up to interrupt only to be cut off by Naruto's own curiosity.

"What could Kirigakure possibly offer to garner such goodwill?"

The mask didn't muffle his voice and her prospect of a husband didn't suddenly seem so bleak. _'Must be seals keeping things together?'_ He was powerful and either came from true Uzumaki blood or had one working for him. The possible gains for Kiri looked bright indeed. While she found the crystal lenses of his mask slightly intimidating, up close she could still make out the irises of his eyes as they shamelessly raked over her figure.

 _'No different than any other would-be dictator,'_ she mused briefly in disappointment. _'Please let this work.'_ She hoped he was just enough of a smut monger to make all of this public humiliation worth it. Kami how she hated seduction missions - even if he was a cutie.

The silky mane of her hair shifted as her head rose just enough to show her eyes taking in his muscular body with definite feminine interest, her mouth curling up to one side in what could only be considered a naughty smirk. Her elbows squeezed once more just enough to catch his obvious attention as his eyes dipped without shame once again to her neckline.

 _'Shameless pervert,'_ she thought in disappointment.

"Why, me of course," she voiced in victory.

~oOOo~

You could have heard a pin drop in the observation deck.

Both Tenten and Ino stood locked in place, mouths agape as their minds processed what was happening before their very eyes. Anko, bordered by her closest friends and colleagues, narrowed her eyes and gnashed her teeth as she no longer saw a harmless nameless Genin from another country but a very real political threat to a young man she'd yet to answer about a marriage proposal, one that desperately needed to have her body invaded by sharp, metal objects intent on her destruction. Oddly enough, a suddenly green-eyed Suigetsu was less focused on just murdering the fool besmirching the honor of his beloved Seven Swordsman and more concerned with murdering the fool for stealing his secret-not secret crush right out from underneath him with his Kage's blessing.

Nevermind that he spent the first two nights of the festival unsuccessfully chasing skirts. That was completely irrelevant and, if you disagreed with him, he'd happily explain it at sword-point.

Repeatedly.

Suddenly the cutesie scene that should have produced a sputtering, red-faced blond unfamiliar with feminine charms became considerably less funny.

~III~

* * *

Four figures erupted from the command tent scurrying off in different directions to relay final orders to their troops. Though each figure was draped in Iwa colors, they bore the gold bars on the right shoulder strap of their flak vests indicating the rank of a High Commander.

Tensions were already high deep in the Konoha forest knowing if a Leaf patrol found them it would impossible to explain why a Stone force of five-hundred strong was bunkered down not twenty miles from the hidden village of their long time enemy.

"Are we sure that this is the right course, grandfather?"

Kurotsuchi's voice lacked its normal bravado as she stared down upon the earth table in the middle of their command tent, her fingers wiggling across the surface of the uneven terrain map while she used minute traces of chakra to move the figures back and forth. The smell of deep, rich soil always put her in a good mood despite the current tension weighing down everything around her. Having faced the blond bastard's hellspawn, she wasn't as eager to see him a second time and it showed.

"I thought you wanted your other Jiji back?" Ōnoki's brow wrinkled as he studied the shell-shocked kunoichi. To be honest, he hoped the tree huggers had already killed to old bastard.

It would bolster his "liberation force" once they became a "vengeance force."

"I do, it's just..."

"They won't have time to focus on us with Oto and Suna standing on their necks." He sounded so sure of himself as if he'd weighed every possible outcome and rationalized his near-term losses for the long-term betterment of Iwa.

"It's not wise to poke the demon," she countered, her voice a very faint whisper.

"Hah! We have one of our own today." He grinned up at his taller granddaughter. "You should worry less."

Ōnoki strode from the tent the spitting image of a fearless leader so he didn't hear her whispered response.

"And you should worry more." Kurotsuchi left to make sure her last will and testament was up to date.

~III~

* * *

"As a reminder, intermission will end in the next five minutes. At that time, we'll need both Shiroi Yuki of Kiri and Naruto Uzumaki of Uzu in the arena for the first match of the second round."

Genma's voice reverberated through the entire village amplified as it was by both jutsu and loudspeakers and Naruto's deep blue eyes (buried behind ruby-colored crystals) locked with the dark brown pools of the pretty young woman still bent over at the waist.

He had to admit the Yuki Clan produced gorgeous kunoichi. It was because he was looking at her face this time and not her partially-wrapped chest that he caught the nervous flash of worry and smirked.

"How much did they tell you about me?" His question appeared to catch her off-guard as her eyebrows puckered cutely.

"Huh? Wha-what are you talking about? Who-."

His raised palm cut her off gently, her back straightening a little as confusion altered her smooth features.

"Don't bother denying it. I know for a fact that there are at least three spies for Kiri, two of which reside in Konoha itself as your go-between supplies them with fish from Sutirū-ōtā as part of their information relay back to Kiri so, please, if we're going to attempt civility, let's dispense with the outright lying. Let's at least try for now in the hopes that any chance for an alliance starts off on a partial bed of honesty."

Several sets of eyes narrowed at that comment including one very pretty pair of milk-chocolate ones framed in a purple pineapple hair-do.

"Two minutes, people! Two minutes until showtime so get your bets placed!"

Genma's voice seemed to snap her out of a partial daze and those cute wrinkles in her brow became something deeper. She seemed to make a decision and her hands began to move, one shifting quickly to the sleeve of her left arm.

 _SNIKT!_

"Ah, ah, aaaaaaah! Slowly~ does it! Let's keep things nice and slow, shall we?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously as the frozen kunoichi glanced down to the slim blade gripped easily in his left hand once it suddenly kissed the soft skin of her neck.

Though the Kages couldn't see it, everyone in the observation deck could and several tensed. Suigetsu was gripping the pommel of his sword in helplessness. Most hadn't even seen the boy's hand move until the blade was far too close to do anything about it.

Most of those that saw the blur began revamping their opinion of the Genin that most of his peers spent the better part of two days bad mouthing and writing off as irrelevant. Anko, who knew better, scowled and began making mental notes she could later share with Ibiki once today's idiocy was all over.

Shiroi gulped very slowly.

"I-I have a final gift to sweeten the deal." Her eyes flickered down to his hand holding the _Stinger_ to her throat.

"May I?"

Naruto had to admire her courage. As things stood, he could kill her and claim self-defense, not that anyone of note in Konoha would take his side and he'd still be arrested for an unsanctioned killing during the exams. Instead, he nodded his permission and she withdrew an ivory scroll case trimmed in ocean blue rings bearing the official seal of the Mizukage.

"Consider this an official peace offering should you find Kiri's," she paused as her cheeks flushed in both shame and disappointment with herself, "initial offer insufficient."

* * *

Without moving either of his hands, a Shadow Clone shimmered into existence next to her and gently took the scroll from her hands. With a soft, "Tch," it stomped off to stand in the far corner.

 _'Really getting tired of being fodder for this guy's lack of balls...'_

The clone grumbled and swore almost non-stop worse than any sailor even as it lifted the scroll to face level, scrunched its eyes shut as tight as it could, then tore the scroll open...

* * *

Shiroi blinked repeatedly as she tried to peek as far to her right side without moving her neck in an attempt to follow the clone's odd behavior. In the end, her curiosity overcame her sudden uncomfortableness.

"Are... are your clones normally so... grumpy?"

He grinned back never taking his eyes from her face. She really was a very pretty kunoichi.

"They don't appreciate being used to break traps and unknown scrolls. Would you?"

She had to admit he had a valid point.

* * *

 _'Hnh, it didn't blow,'_ the clone cracked open one eye, _'...up. Oh! What's this?'_

The chakra construct pushed a bit of energy into his finger after molding the proper flow to activate its originator's [ _Scholarly Eye of Kagura_ ] seal, a deconstruction technique he used to break down and develop a counter to Orochimaru's snake hickey during his first slide.

Before the clone's eye, the _Fūin-Gen_ hybrid expanded the seal into a three-dimensional hologram it could freely manipulate. It also provided ghost-like representations of the items linked to the extra-dimensional pocket of the Stage I military-grade storage seal just below the Mizukage's flowing signature.

* * *

"Now," Naruto's smile broadened while the still shocked Shiroi returned to lock eyes with him, "while he takes care of that, let's wrap this up. Shall we?"

His right hand came up to gently tip her chin up and pull the slender kunoichi forward just enough to tip her off-balance. As predicted, her hands slapped down on his thighs to keep her from falling into his lap. Naruto leaned in and tilted her chin up and to his right so that he could glance at the unblemished skin of her neck to make sure he had not cut her with the weapon in his left hand.

Not wanting to make any sudden moves, Shiroi allowed it to happen and, as a result to their intimately close position, flushed a healthy shade of red up from her chest and neck to her glowing cheeks. She didn't start to get uncomfortable until the sudden rush of warmth to her lower abdomen made her blush worse.

"Like I was saying, I know you have some information on me so I'm guessing you have some idea how I feel about indentured servitude?"

Shiroi blinked in surprise and whispered a soft affirmation. A small corner of her mind registered that he'd hidden the knife blade and that the only thing keeping her face inches from his own was the gentle touch of his hand on her chin as he turned her face back to meet his with a very warm thumb.

"If you were doing this of your own free will, I'd be tempted," he paused to look deep into her eyes and she smelled a rush of cinnamon dusting his breath, "sorely tempted to accept your offer." He released a soft huff of air and his warm, spicy breath - pleasant as it was - washed across her skin and made her shiver.

"However, your mission to win me over can't completely fail if we're to stay amicable so you can meet with your cousin later. You need some hope to take back to your Kage, so..."

Shiroi tried not to let her rising hopes show but he had to see it in her eyes, the shine they now carried...

"So, I'll take this as payment and allow you to tell your Mizukage that I look forward to speaking with her at the final feast."

Without another word, he gently pulled once more on her chin until their lips touched and, chaste though the kiss was, his lips lightly grabbed onto the kunoichi's top one as he gently pushed chakra to his mouth amplifying the work Kyūbi started to make her "more compliant" at the start of the encounter.

Tenten, Ino, and Anko all squawked their disapproval.

* * *

 _'He should be pleased with-.'_ The clone paused in his return, the scroll held in one hand as its eyes flickered from the locked lips of his creator and the melting kunoichi palming his thighs.

Then his eyes took in the shocked and either jealous or angry faces belonging to several of the kunoichi sharing the fighter's observation deck.

 _'Oh, hell. He's on his own here. Nothing I can do to save him from them.'_

The copy set the roll of paper down next to his suicidal boss, drew out a chakra kunai from his holster, then fled by stabbing himself in the neck hoping his sacrifice would detract the others from mauling his boss.

* * *

Shiroi broke the kiss with a moan and tried to regroup once the clone killed itself off - since her eyes were wide open in shock until her entire body started to tingle. She could ask why it chose that method over simply dispelling itself later. For now, he seemed distracted with her final gift and that was enough to recompose herself with a nervous pat of her long hair.

Inside she was elated. So it cost her a kiss. So what? It wasn't her first nor would it be her last - not to mention he wasn't a bad smoocher. She wasn't quite off the sacrificial marriage block but he just might let her slide by. Plus, if his other bedroom activities were as adequate as that liplock...

 _'Was it hot in the bleachers all of a sudden?'_ She felt flushed with heat.

More importantly, he had all but promised to let her see Haku again. She hadn't failed the mission her family had given her and that would go a long way to the few remaining survivors of their clan.

She slowly backed away after he accepted the case, bowed once, then lightly jumped over the railing to the floor below, the entire time berating herself for underestimating her target and being caught by surprise, no matter how pleasant it was. Though he would never know it, part of that blush blossomed as a result of his decidedly not-incompetent display of skill and aggression.

You see, Shiroi had a _thing_ for dangerous males and he very much qualified now.

Shaking her shoulders to clear any remaining excess blood flooding her pale skin with emotion, she strode up to the proctor, whispered something to the grinning male who had watched - with great interest - the dramatic gaggle in the competitor's box. Straightening her shoulders, she strode with as much dignity as she could muster back to her seat as Genma's voice announced her withdrawal from the match citing "chakra exhaustion" before moving on to the next event.

Despite her only desire to catch up with her cousin, Haku, Shiroi found herself reflecting on the stern bottomless pools of ocean blue she remembered from the first two tests, the surprising Genin that owned them, and the fact that she needed a fresh pair of panties.

~oOOo~

"That is unfortunate, Mizukage-dono," the Kazekage all but crooned with his patronizing tone.

"I am not disappointed. Shiroi is intelligent and well aware of her limitations."

The crimson-haired ruler turned away from the disgusting traitor wearing Rasa's face and watched the slender back of her secret weapon returning to the competitor's area with a contented smile on her face. Water and Whirlpool could solidify and rebuild while the landlubbers tore each other's throats out for all she cared.

Orochimaru, however, had a difficult time breaking away from her image even as young Genma called Rasa's daughter and the Nara to the arena for the next bout. As planned, the kunoichi would try to weaken Konoha by methodically murdering the Nara heir but the Snake really wasn't vested in the match up.

Giving up on figuring out what lay behind the Mizukage's contented smirk, he turned his gaze in the general direction of the six figures slightly up and behind the hopefuls. Very slowly, and deliberately, he made a minor production of removing lint from his left sleeve signaling to proceed as planned.

 _'Soon, very soon now.'_

His eyes flickered to his current blond interest knowing his gesture would spur several actions in the background.

 _'Soon you and I will be able to spend large amounts of quality time together.'_

~oOOo~

Naruto noted that Shikamaru's match with Temari proceeded almost identical to the previous two versions he'd observed. Temari began the match trying to obliterate everything in the arena in her frantic effort to slice and dice her lazy opponent (something that annoyed _Tora_ who would dazzle a very stunned Kage audience as he used his limited _Mokuton_ to replace the destroyed vegetation once the match ended). Shikamaru would reciprocate by frantically dodging every assault before leading into a twenty-minute long shogi match before trapping her with his [ _Kage Mane_ ] technique only to surrender at the very end.

It was almost textbook in its repetition.

The following match between Suigetsu and Ino would draw more of his attention as the former fangirl ran the slimy water lizard ragged for ten minutes while she danced her way around his swings to repeatedly move inside his guard to strike at his face and body with kunai. Naruto could see the sword wielder's frustration as swing after swing cut only harmless air while Ino's fist distorted his face or chest over and over again as she struck with impunity. She was a _Suiton_ user but she didn't have the strength to overpower the Kiri Genin's [ _Hydrification Technique_ ] nor did she know _Raiton_ techniques to even the playing field.

That didn't mean that Naruto wasn't afforded a greater understanding of Suigetsu's fighting style. Ino's _bukijutsu_ pressured the swordsman each time she was able to get in close and force him to work. He noticed that Suigetsu couldn't liquefy his entire body and still wield the sword. He also noticed that Suigetsu couldn't continuously sling the large blade around with one-handed impunity for extended periods of time, all useful things to know if he wanted to take back his clan's rightful property.

Believing she'd done enough, Ino threw down several smoke bombs, which produced riotous laughter from her opponent who claimed it wouldn't help her against the latest master of silent killing, then promptly forfeited saying she had no way to "counter his broken-as-hell water cheat-jutsu."

Once Genma announced her loss, Ino spun on a heel and smirked her way back to the observation area leaving behind a very shocked Suigetsu frustrated at the lack of blood in these exams and his failure at trying to grope the very sexy kunoichi he couldn't lay a finger on in his latest fight.

It didn't matter to Naruto as he had what he needed to know. Naruto didn't even notice the match between Gaara and his brother, which turned into a comedy sketch as Gaara's sand chased his brother around the arena until the older male surrendered three minutes later.

Once the youngest sand sibling received his reward from a much relieved Temari, he no longer cared about torturing his older brother and all conflict was pushed aside in pursuit of sugary bliss.

Nope, Naruto had other events on his mind as he stood and locked glares with the annoying male anxiously gripping the pommel of a sword that didn't belong to him.

"Call them," he whispered over his left shoulder earning a respectful bow from one of the two Sirens silently keeping him company in the far corner of the observation deck; she bowed then vanished with a gentle breeze. Shrugging his wide shoulders, Naruto smirked one last time at his next opponent then vanished in a crack of lightning much to the surprise of one suddenly nervous Suigetsu Hōzuki.

The Kiri nin thought the punk's little display the other day was an overly elaborate genjutsu and was now having second thoughts. Despite his recent bout of uncertainty, Suigetsu hefted Kubikirbōchō into place and stepped away from his seat with a nervous nod to his returning teammate.

Her voice made his purple eyes narrow in annoyance.

"Don't underestimate him as I did."

He grunted out his annoyance and fired back, "I never underestimate anyone. That makes them all the more fun to kill."

Then he casually strolled down to the arena chuckling as he made the entire stadium wait on him. He'd let his sword do the talking for him.

~oOOo~

Genma drew the audience's attention once more. "Ladies and Gentlemen! Only three matches separate us from crowning a new champion to the first-ever Chunin Exam Festival!"

The entire stadium roared in response. Genma's sharp eye caught the Kiri slacker strolling out of the tunnel-like he had all day. It didn't matter since the Hokage wanted them to draw out the start of this match and that would give him a chance to knock the smug look off of Hōzuki's mug.

"Like each subsequent round, we'll give you a little time to find a bathroom, grab some snacks, and place your bets. Next round starts in twenty minutes!"

Genma grinned as the fang-faced Genin's smirk fell to his knees.

"I hope you got a plan, Uzumaki." The Jounin's eyes flickered down to the blond just two meters away, his senbon switching sides knowing how bloodthirsty the Kiri sword user could get.

Naruto snorted. "Naw, thought I'd just play it by ear."

Genma found the sarcastic smirk less than humorous.

"For your sake, I hope not."

Over the next ten minutes, Suigetsu tried to create new ways to visually force his opponent's mop of sun-colored hair to spontaneously burst into flames. For obvious reasons, he was unsuccessful so Naruto chose Genma's ten minute time update as the perfect opportunity to check off another item on his list.

"You don't strike me as the strong and silent type so why don't you spit out the sour lemon that has your face all twisted up."

The angry Kiri Genin took the bait.

"You owe me and all of Kiri an apology!" Hōzuki roared, which silenced the returning crowd as they listened to the unfolding drama.

Naruto's response was to double over with laughter, his hands slapping thighs, sides, the air... whatever was handy really. What made it worse was he kept laughing for nearly two minutes before he could gasp out a real response to the eye-twitching Hōzuki.

"How-how do you figure that?!" He snickered once or twice more just to rub it in.

Suigetsu brandished Kubikirbōchō like a beacon of Kiri national solidarity, much to Genma's attentive concern, and held it aloft.

"You insulted me, the Seven Swordsmen, and all of Kiri when you claimed we stole this instead of forging it!" The boy's face was turning a healthy shade of red now.

"If you grovel enough, I might only claim an arm to help you save face." Suigetsu's back straightened and his chin lifted feeling a bit better having publicly dressed down the snotty noble from some backwater village of extinct failures.

By way of answer, Naruto laughed for another minute and laughed hard enough to fall to one knee. By now, Suigetsu was beginning to feel "uninformed and ridiculed" for the first time in his life.

"First," he giggled again as he rose back to a standing position, "first you need to understand that you _are_ a bunch of thieves, well... some of you are." He swung his gaze up to the Kage booth then back to Shiroi's stunned face.

"I can't hold some of you completely responsible for the mistakes of their predecessors."

By the time he'd finished, not only had his laughter subsided but his right hand rose into the air almost mimicking his opponent's previous gesture. With a violent swirl of water, smoke, and lightning, a similarly oversized weapon materialized in his hand, the almost mirror-like surface of the black sword reflecting very little light despite the glassy coating.

"And since we have a few minutes, I'm going to explain to you why I think that."

They were six or seven good sprinting paces apart, plenty of room for Naruto to point his sword in his opponent's direction as he pulsed his chakra into his weapon (Suigetsu still dropped into a defensive stance with his eyes locked on the sword that made him drool). As the seals coating its surface pulsed in return, each glowing golden briefly before fading out before the mesmerized audience (to include Suigetsu), everyone noted how the Kiri Genin's weapon pulsed in time with it as fewer but similar seals flickered visibly along the grey weapon's surface.

Suigetsu could feel the _Severing Sword_ vibrate with each pulsing seal, most of which he'd been previously unaware of. He looked up in confusion as his opponent's weapon swung away to point up at the fighter's box.

"Pay close attention to the three figures up there."

It took a lot for Suigetsu to tear his eyes from the gleaming weapon in his opponent's hand but, when he finally did, he saw three figures dressed in almost identical clothing standing on the railing. All three of them were uncomfortably focused on the slightly-less-than-before confident Genin.

"Pay close attention to the swords held by two of the three watching from above," the blond droned on.

Suigetsu saw it then as the left and right hooded figures, both women he noted with gorgeous figures, drew swords he swore were almost identical to his _Severing_ blade.

No, they _were_ identical even down to the flickering seals blinking in and out along the surface of their swords. There you had it plain as day. The only odd one out was the large blue-skinned male standing halfway between them and he could feel the hunger in that one's stare. It didn't take much to know that his eyes were locked onto Suigetsu's sword.

Suddenly that challenge seemed like a very stupid idea and a small part of his mind was yelling for him to forfeit.

That small voice got ruthlessly suppressed and Suigetsu snarled in anger at himself.

The black sword in Naruto's hand vanished and with it went the blinking seals on Suigetsu's sword. When the vibrating stopped, his purple eyes shot up to the balcony to see that the sword-wielding females were once again carrying their blades diagonally across their backs.

"W-What?!"

"I'm not here to answer your questions but I am going to educate you, Mr. Hōzuki." Naruto raised his hand to indicate the large masked male without a blade.

"The sword you carry isn't called the "Decapitating Carving Knife" or the "Seversword" or any other nonsensical fluffy unicorn name you guys came up with for it." Suigetsu frowned. "There were six of them crafted by the Uzumaki in conjunction with the _Umihebi_ , six swords - six _Fangs_ \- meant to be used by the Six Guardians of the Uzumaki royal family. These six swords were linked by blood and seals to the _Eternal Fang_ , the sword wielded by the head of the clan and its most ardent defender."

Suigetsu's mind immediately registered the black sword he'd just seen with his opponent.

"When an alliance of nations attacked Uzushiogakure no Sato in an attempt to wipe out my clan," many in the audience gasped in surprise here, "the decision was made to hide the _Umihebi_ away and protect the _Seven Blades of Uzu_ and other very valuable secrets of Uzushio in order to prevent the greedy invaders from stealing them away. It's too bad that even the mighty _Umihebi_ couldn't protect themselves from internal thievery and treachery of one of their own."

"One of their own, one you know as Kisame Hoshigaki, stole away with the rightful sword of his elder brother," Naruto's arm swept up to indicate the very large male on the railing above, "he stole from a society that relied on the honor of its citizens.

"That lesson has been learned and the remaining swords," his sneer raked over the still frowning Genin, "are protected against another attempt like that. That, however, does not answer what happened to the blade that went missing, the blade you incidentally hold in your sweaty little palm."

"It's mine! _I took it fair and square!_ " Suigetsu roared.

 _"YOU STOLE IT FROM THE GRAVE OF A DEAD MAN!"_ Naruto's response was augmented by chakra and dwarfed Suigetsu's infantile protest.

"You didn't earn that blade in combat, which - correct me if I'm wrong - is kinda your tradition, isn't it?" He didn't wait for a response and rolled on to finish. "That makes you a thief and you aren't worthy to die by my blade."

"Don't whine to me about morality, idiot!" Suigetsu thumped his chest with his off-hand. "NINJA, duuuuuuh!"

His eyes caught the "wrap it up" motion from Genma followed by three fingers held aloft.

"Kisame gave away a sword he never earned, a sword he stole in the middle of Uzushio's frantic fight for its life, to Kiri after he found Samehada. Your brother claimed a stolen sword and then lost it to Zabuza Momochi who died in combat to mercenary ronin in Nami no Kuni."

"Lies," Suigetsu muttered out but his voice was weak. It lacked real conviction the moment he uttered it and his body language gave that fact away.

"I know this to be true because I know the man's apprentice, the one that used the blade as a marker for his grave."

Suigetsu's eyes were nervously flashing briefly up to the Kage booth and the observation deck but Naruto wasn't worried about whatever trouble this little scene would cause his opponent. He wasn't expecting Suigetsu to voluntarily give up the sword per the agreement even if he lost the match. Suigetsu's whole body language was screaming he'd rather die than surrender the blade, and Naruto was planning to oblige him.

"Don't worry though, Suigetsu. I'm going to correct the theft of my family's property here today before witnesses and return it to its rightful owner."

"Over. My. Dead. Body." The Kiri nin's voice was low and gravelly, almost a growl but all he got in return from the blond was an evil grin.

"That was kinda the plan all along, Soggy-man."

Naruto glanced over to Genma and nodded once indicating he'd said all he needed to say and, before Suigetsu could rant out another denial, Genma's voice rang out and it was on.

Suigetsu, by now fed up with the Konoha nin's posturing, hefted the sword and charged, his mouth open as far as it would go as he screamed his outrage at maximum volume.

~oOOo~

* * *

 **A/N:** Whew! That chapter really fought me this time around. I figured that was a good place to pause... the story... What? You don't agree?

"..."

"..."

I keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed! Just joking! I wouldn't hype up this event just to cut you short at a little over 5,800 words. (Put the pitchforks away!) I could only imagine the anger if I pulled a stunt like that after not updating in a long time.

Anyway, back to the action...

~oOOo~

* * *

Well, making the Kiri sword user angry was far easier than he originally guessed it would be. Naruto spent the half-second needed to confirm Suigetsu wasn't channeling chakra through the blade before his [ _Iron Kimono: Stage II_ ] was humming happily throughout his chakra network.

He didn't dodge. He didn't jump back to open up the distance. He didn't duck nor bring out a weapon of his own to parry or redirect.

No. To the absolute horror of everyone watching the fight, Naruto's body pulsed with a brief flash of blue before he brought up his metal gauntlets to block the massive sword's horizontal strike aimed at his neck.

Suigetsu caught the condescending smirk on his opponent's face and let loose his rage in one anger-fueled roar.

 _CLANG!_

The ground beneath Naruto's feet cratered as the force from the strike channeled through his defensive skin straight to the uncompromising earth. Dust shot up to obscure the audience's vision, much like a low-yield explosive tag.

The murmuring began almost immediately. People were clamoring for someone to clear away the smoke so they could see. Shikamaru fought to keep Ino from leaping over the ledge and in her seat, an action surprisingly being mirrored by Yugao and Kurenai as they struggled to keep Anko equally subdued.

The seconds ticked by slowly but a breeze eventually cleared the dust cloud and, when it did, the home crowd roared in approval.

Standing with the backs of his metal-covered forearms keeping the blade at bay was Naruto Uzumaki, his smirk now a fanged sneer at complete odds with Suigetsu's open-mouthed disbelief.

His sword had not been able to slice through the boy's forearms so he could take his blond head as a trophy for Shiroi. Even as he stood there pushing with all his might, he hadn't even scratched the black metal covering the Leaf nin's arms.

He roared and tried again spinning in the opposite direction earning a similar result. _CLANG_. Undaunted, Suigetsu spun yet again with equal success. _CLANG_.

Naruto dropped his arms when Suigetsu drew back to deliver a vertical down slash. Stepping nimbly to his left, he pivoted so that the _Fang's_ edge slid by harmlessly, the blade striking the hard ground and sending up stone chips in random directions.

Naruto had gotten used to sparring against Keina and his four sword-wielding guardians. Compared to them, Suigetsu was a slow-moving toddler.

Suigetsu dropped low to the ground, the dull edge of his weapon brought in close to rest against his body horizontally as he began to funnel chakra to his feet forcing his body to spin clockwise, slowly at first but gradually picking up speed.

Rather than lose a leg, Naruto flexed his calves and hopped four meters into the air backwards and away from his opponent. A simple backflip and he was safely away to observe Suigetsu's "Crimson Funnel." At least that's what he called it when he yelled out the strike.

It looked more like a spinning Fuma shuriken that had only one blade.

Umi had shown him a similar maneuver that didn't keep spinning like a child's toy. Looking at the nin trying to drill himself into the arena floor, the move seemed more likely to leave the user open to all sorts of attacks but that would be stupid, wouldn't it?

Perhaps there was a hidden trick to it? Rather than attack, he opted to wait for Suigetsu to cease the spin and regain his feet (with a slight wobble at the end).

Once Suigetsu seemed stable, Naruto charged then kept up the pressure.

Jab (blocked with the flat of the blade)- right cross (Suigetsu dodged to his left only to catch a heel to the side of his head). Naruto's reflexes were sharp enough to avoid slicing a limb open when the edge of the weapon was presented. Instead, he began pot-shotting his opponent's lower extremities.

~oOOo~

Suigetsu blocked another quick jab before jabbing his sword out to either slice open his opponent's cheek or maybe luck out and catch an eye. He didn't see the blond duck below his line of sight (the flat of the sword produced blind spots) and that cost him once Naruto slammed a palm into Suigetsu's leading knee hyper-extending the limb and causing a swearing Kiri nin to stumble backwards using his sword as a temporary crutch.

 _'I-I need distance!'_ Suigetsu raised a hand, pointer extended as a blob of water formed at the tip of it and thumb pointing up to the sky before hissing out, "Bang!"

That tiny drop of water shot forward faster than any kunai catching the blond by surprise and blasting a small hole through his chest right where his heart should be. Just as the Kiri nin's face began to bloom into the hope that he'd won, the blond smiled then vanished into smoke right as a steel bar impersonating a human shin crashed into his unprotected left side. Even as the bones began to compress transferring the energy of the assault to his semi-solid form, Suigetsu's body began to liquefy hoping to minimize and repair the damage to his body.

He still did his own impersonation of a water bullet, the force of the roundhouse sending him tumbling across the arena like a ragdoll.

 _'Damnit, that hurt!'_ Rising to one knee with the _Seversword_ laying on the ground at his side, Suigetsu realized he would need to pull out a few tricks after all if he had any hope of winning this. He never saw the clone swap out and it seemed like the arrogant bastard was more than hot air.

Knowing that his chakra reserves were wearing thin having to depend on his secret clan hydrification technique so much. It was a good thing that what he wanted to do required only the barest amounts of chakra.

Stabbing the tip of Kubikiribōchō into the ground with one hand making a half-ram seal with the other. [ _Ninpou: Kirigakure no Jutsu_ ]

He smiled as the mist began to pour out from underneath him to blanket the arena floor.

~oOOo~

Naruto grinned as he pulled closed his eyes beneath his mask, his chakra pouring out through his feet and into the ground. Slowly his body sank beneath the earth even as another shadow clone shimmered into place to replace him under cover of an area-wide chakra pulse.

Then he waited.

~oOOo~

Suigetsu wasn't going to waste time trying that ventriloquism crap Zabuza liked to use. Hell, he'd just barely learned the [ _Soft Step_ ] technique needed to work with the mist and he wasn't going to waste his advantage by giving away his position. So long as his chakra saturated the cloud he could locate his prey.

That brief fluctuation a moment ago confused him but, in the end, he couldn't pick up a second chakra source so no clones that he could tell. Maybe the guy was trying to push the mist away? It was a considerable burst so that made some sense.

No matter. It was time to get moving and end this.

He made his way around to what he figured the guy's weak side would be, to where his mist indicated the blond's profile was slimmer. Once he felt that he was properly lined up, he began a deliberate dash with the _Seversword_ about neck high.

From the shadow that appeared, Suigetsu could see that he was just behind its left shoulder. _'Good.'_

He angled the tip of his sword a few millimeters higher to clear the scapula and insure a clean jugular strike.

At two paces away, he lunged.

He was not expecting the figure to step backwards and pivot. He was not expecting two metal-covered hands to clamp down on the flat of his blade gripping it and preventing further forward motion.

He also wasn't expecting a stupid amount of electricity to conduct along the metal weapon into his body locking him in place. It was as if every cell in his body screamed out at the same time in agony. He couldn't withdraw. He couldn't turn to water and escape. He could do nothing but gnash his teeth and hiss in pain until the weapon was yanked from his grip and the electrocution stopped, smoke rising from his now dried and cracked skin.

It was a good thing he was already in shock otherwise he would have felt the same sword slicing through his left arm, which was very solid at the moment, and slicing into his ribcage stopping where his spinal column was.

"Grck!"

Suigetsu blinked as his throat began to fill up with a metallic tasting fluid he couldn't quite control.

~oOOo~

Naruto looked into the wide-open eyes of the slowly dying Genin and shook his head from side to side.

"You're probably wondering how I found you?"

The Kiri nin could only blink dumbly as his systems continued shutting down, his opponent's grip on the handle the only thing keeping him standing. Oddly enough the pain was slowly fading to a dull roar.

"Simple. Since I couldn't sense your footsteps, I displaced the bottom four centimeters of your mist with clean air laced with my chakra."

The dying nin blinked when a second blond walked up and grabbed the sword hilt as the first vanished in a puff of smoke. In the end, he hadn't even been fighting the real one.

Suigetsu's head tilted slightly as the increasingly muffled words registered, blood pouring freely from his mouth as his lungs filled with it. _'Damn... sneaky... bastard...'_

"Your footsteps may have been silent but you still displace air when you move."

Naruto waited until the mist was thin enough that he could just make out the stadium crowd. Taking the blade up in one hand while still channeling chakra through his limbs, he snatched the blade from Suigetsu's soon-to-be corpse and spun completely around lifting the weapon high enough to cleave through his neck and relieve the Genin of his head.

~oOOo~

"I'd say that's a clear win for the Leaf nin," Ay snarked. "Didn't think you tree huggers were that violent, Hokage-dono."

Hiruzen's "Only when we need to be, like when our home is threatened," stopped any additional chuckling at his expense. The old man did take a moment to glance to his right checking to make sure the Mizukage wasn't going to leap down into the arena and try to reclaim what Kiri claimed to be a priceless heirloom of the Seven Swordsmen. To his surprise, she hadn't batted a single pretty eyelash.

With a near-silent grunt, he turned back to watch the remaining matches in silent amusement.

~oOOo~

No one honestly expected Gaara to injure his sister but rather than forfeit immediately the two opted to put on a demonstration match allowing Temari to let loose with some of her more devastating Jutsu while Gaara stood impressively behind the safety of his sand. This provided the Suna siblings with two advantages.

First, it allowed Suna to display the power of its Genin, as Temari laid waste to the arena landscape, to a thoroughly pleased audience of potential customers. Despite being overly reliant on her fan, the kunoichi was a powerful wind user, and her ability to destroy more trees with a single swing boldly stated as much while managing to annoy _Tora_ enough to provide another _Mokuton_ demonstration.

Second, it allowed Gaara to earn another box of Poky, which kept him pleasant enough to not want to kill people in the final round.

Speaking of which...

"Fifteen-minute intermission before the final match of the Exams!

~III~

* * *

 _"RELEASE ME! GrraaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"_

The furious cries from the high-security ANBU cell went largely unheard despite the swirling red orbs of one Sasuke Uchiha, self-proclaimed elite of the former Uchiha Clan. He'd been banging on the chakra-reinforced slabs of glass making up the forward wall of his holding cell.

"You can't hide behind those bright lights for-!"

CLICK.

The angry Genin continued to scream even though no one else could hear him. ANBU detention cells were made that way for a reason.

Kakashi didn't enjoy turning off the chamber speaker but he enjoyed listening to his angry student even less.

"Come rival. It is time." Gai had returned from securing the other injured or weakened Genin in a communal holding cell and his noted lack of "Youth" caught his eternal rival by surprise.

Kakashi sighed as he watched the boy's fist leave behind another bloody smear. It had been several hours and Sasuke still hadn't calmed down. It would be worthy of empathy if Kurenai hadn't removed the deep-seated genjutsu left behind by Itachi years ago.

Nope. This was all pure Sasuke rage at being "denied another chance to prove himself."

So much for progress.

"Yeah. We wouldn't want to be poor hosts, would we?"

Despite the somber occasion, Gai chuckled at his rival's hip attitude.

~III~

* * *

 _Championship Match: Gaara no Subaku of Suna VS. Naruto Uzumaki of Uzushio_

"Gaara no Subaku of Suna and Naruto Uzumaki of Uzushio!" he called out to the ecstatic fist-pumping of the green-clad Genin. "Get your tails down here for the next round! You have three minutes!"

Naruto rose from his seat, nodded once to Gaara, then began the casual walk to the arena floor choosing to use the stairs instead of leaping over the railing. He'd done enough of that already.

The redhead from Suna rose and equally casually joined him in the sedate journey, the two moving side-by-side in the dim tunnels below.

"I assume our agreement is still good?" Naruto's eyes never left the tunnel exit, his voice relaxed and unhurried.

Gaara's monotone voice returned an uninterested, "Suna will honor its treaty obligations." Crunch-munch-munch-munch.

Naruto nodded once before looking over to his companion-opponent with a curious gaze.

"Is that 'Cookies and Cream'?"

Gaara's eyes scrunched up happily showing his first real surge of emotion as he offered up a stick: Happiness.

"Don't mind if I do, and thank you."

The two munching combatants emerged from the tunnel in time to see feathers falling from the sky. Both vessels shivered as their respective bijuu surged a blast of chakra through their respective containers to break its hold.

"Damn. Sorry Gaara but it looks like our rematch just got postponed," the tall one muttered.

Gaara stuffed the now closed Pocky container back into his gourd. "Suna will sweep the walls as promised." Without another word, the now serious weapon of mass destruction vanished in a sand body flicker leaving Naruto to his own devices.

"Here we go then." A heavy sigh left his mouth. "Phase three-."

"Oi!"

He whipped around in surprise to see one of the Fire Lord's samurai striding boldly from a different tunnel. A quick glance to Genma earned him an unfamiliar shrug.

"I am Captain Shun Uchida."

Naruto blinked, his eyes flickering in confusion to the rapidly emptying box seats for dignitaries then back again, and then motioned as if to say, "Get on with it," an action that earned him a condescending _tsk_ from the newly identified officer.

"I understand common courtesy is beyond gutter filth, such as yourself." The young military man snarled as his left thumb pushed on the _Tsuba_ peeking out from the sash of his uniform, his right hand settling on the _Tsuka_ , or handle.

"Oh, dip," mumbled Genma as he moved quietly away to investigate the explosion up by the Hokage's booth.

~III~

* * *

 **A/N:** Time for folks to start settling their tabs. Not my best work but we're coming up on the final act of this arc.

Next time: Survival of the Fittest!

Remember to **read, follow, and review**. As always, thank you for your interest in this story.

~III~

* * *

 _[Jutsu Used In this Story]_

* * *

 **[B-Rank] Suiton:** **Mizudeppō no Jutsu** **(Water Gun Technique):** The user makes a finger gun with their hand and, through the Hydrification Technique, compresses a drop of water in their index finger, firing it with tremendous force and speed similar to a gunshot — enough to easily pierce through a sand clone.

 **[D-Rank] Ninpou: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Ninja Art: Hidden Mist Jutsu or Hiding in Mist Technique):** This technique is a specialty of Kirigakure ninja. Users fill the air with mist and control its thickness with their chakra. Once the mists are thick enough that opponents cannot see, that in turn means they cannot manage much defense against the user. Zabuza Momochi famously used this technique to perform assassinations; although he also could not see within the mists, he was able to locate his targets based only on the sounds they made. The mists can be created using water from the surroundings, or users can create the mists themselves, which they exhale from their mouths. If the mists are made thick enough, they can cancel out the enhanced vision of the Sharingan and Rinnegan. In the anime, Byakugan users are able to see through the mists. Sensors also can still find targets despite the lost visibility.


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